Chapter 18

When I grew older, I came to learn that most of my mistakes came from either pride or inexperience. Which isn't too bad compared to other rulers. I wasn't sure what scandal would have caused less damage. They both had potential to be excruciatingly damaging to the crown but the one I caused was a foolish and insignificant mistake that was blown out of proportion by people who had nothing better to do with their time. Although, I wouldn't have minded if Angelica's elopement would have been prime news over my silly little mistake.

Janson wasn't too merciful in his execution.

He sat across from me and plopped down the newspaper.

"You went from being the public defender to public enemy number one in exactly one week. I only hope doesn't affect the wedding."

The wedding that would be happing the day after tomorrow. The thought made my stomach upturn; the contents of my breakfast had considered making an appearance.

"I was there to see Newt. Why didn't they put that in there? The dumb shank switched rooms with Minho." I scoffed and threw the newspaper in the trash bin. I didn't even want to look at the headline.

It was all so stupid.

That's what I get for being nice to people; a whole wagon full of problems and accusations.

After my argument with Newt, I spent a good twenty minutes twisting and turning in bed. Albeit, it could have waited 'till morning and I really should have been more careful. I put on a robe and I went in search for the silly prince. At the time, I didn't think Newt would be sleeping and Thomas's words made me uneasy.

Patience had never been a virtue of mine.

It took me a while but I found what at the time I had presumed to be Newts room. I asked some servants and they pointed me in wrong direction. I knocked but instead of a tall blond man, I found a short redhead.

At first I was shocked and slightly infuriated.

"Minho what are you doing in Newts room? I thought you were doing damage control."

He kept the door barely open, only his head and part of his bare shoulder peaked out.

Minho looked back "That's exactly what I'm doing" he whispered first before raising his voice, "I'm entertaining a fine lady. What are you doing here?"
"I need to speak to Newt," I crossed my arms "Now."

"I don't have the time right now to educate you on manners but I'll send you on your way. Newt switched with me because this room doesn't have any windows. He's a picky guy. You'll find him to your left three doors down."

"Thank you." I turned to go but his next comment stopped me abruptly.

"Late night visits can only mean one thing. Don't have too much fun, it's a long trip back to the capital."

The nerve.

I should have been offended and gone back to bed but things always tend to spiral out of control.

I knocked on the door half wishing it wouldn't open and half hoping it would.

It took a while; there was some rustling, light footsteps, and the turning of a knob.

He didn't say anything at first. I'm sure he considered shutting the door in my face.

"I'm sorry I'm such a terrible person and that you're stuck with me," I couldn't look him in the eyes "I don't mean to be so awful, I truly don't but you scare me and I don't know how else to deal with that. I know you're still furious at me but I just wanted you to know I'm really sorry for being atrocious."

I didn't want to over-welcome my stay so I turned to go.

"Roan," He gave a long sigh "J-just...Just come back here."

I wanted to run, I really did but in his complete opposite direction. With hesitation, I swiveled slowly and walked back.

He opened the door wider, he had been leaning on it, he motioned for me to come inside, I looked around first to make sure no one would catch this little social faux paus.

A faux paus that cost me dearly.

I walked in, shuffling more than anything, I felt more vulnerable than when I stood and apologized. I crossed one arm over myself and waited a couple of feet from the doorway.

Newt shut the door and walked past me to two chairs that were tilted facing the fireplace. Newts room was smaller than mine and his bed was undone. Looks like he was trying to sleep after all. I should have just waited 'till morning.

I followed him and uncomfortably sat down on the chair nearest the door.

"Things got out of hand today," You don't say "I think both of us let our temper get the best of us so I'm sorry too."

I let out a sigh and slumped in my chair.

"That makes me feel much better but I'm still terribly sorry. I'll find a way to make it up to you."

"If you could be nicer that would be enough." There was a teasing tone in Newts voice but I knew he actually meant it.

"I'm trying Newt but its hard…you frighten me."

He leaned back in his chair and put his palms on his knees.

"I don't mean to frighten."

"No maybe its not you. Maybe its because I have to marry you."

I kept staring at the fire. Looking at him was difficult on a daily basis; at this proximity, it was nearly impossible.

"I think so too." Newt said.

"Its just that…well everything was going the way I wanted it to. I had gotten used to the idea that my brother had taken my throne. When I turned eighteen, I was going to do all these things to help my people. I had even convinced Father to sign the papers to let me go to an academy. I guess he only signed them because he knew I was going to be marrying you so it wasn't going to matter in the end."

"You can still do those things you know? You'll have more power so shouldn't it be easier?"

I glanced up at him. His brow was furrowed and he was leaning forward.

"I hadn't really thought about that. It's just that…I've never had much choice of anything and then my brother was born and I faded into the background. I could do stuff because Mother wasn't terrified that I was going to die and leave the throne empty. Then they told me I was marrying you and it was like all I wanted was out of my control again and the two years I had were going to be my only chance to experience freedom in my entire life."

Newt stayed quiet for a while.

"I don't want you to feel like you're just here to give me heirs and do my bidding. I'm not like that Roan. You're going to be my Queen but also my wife and that means I treat you right even when you leave me to walk all alone for two miles at night. However, I would really appreciate if you never did that again. "

I really hadn't meant to but I could never help it.

I started blubbering like a fool. I covered my face with my hands to hide the embarrassment I felt for crying in front of Newt.

"Hey, Hey, Hey," He got up from his chair and crouched in front of me "Don't cry. Its all right "

I wiped my eyes with the back of my right hand. "I'm sorry. It's just that hearing you say that…"

I started crying again.

"Once you realize how much I cry, you're going to really wish we weren't married."

"I don't care if you cry a lot Roan. That's the least of my worries." Newt said, wiping some the tears off my face with his thumb.

"You say that now but at least you know what you're getting into, your royal highness."

Newt smiled and dropped his hand to my shoulder, he pulled me closer and wrapped his hands around me.

I gasped "I think besides Thomas no one has ever hugged me."

Newt squeezed me tighter and I felt the air leave my body once more but not because of his grip.

"Are you still crying?"

"Not anymore. Why did you take so long to catch up to the carriage? We weren't so far."

He sighed and pulled back "Do you really want to know?"

I nodded.

"I tripped after you drove past me."

I covered my mouth to keep myself from laughing.

"Where did you learn to drive a carriage?"

I shrugged "I have to entertain myself somehow."

Newt went back to his chair and we talked for a while more. My heart was racing the entire time and making eye contact with him was difficult but after a while, I managed it.

I hadn't realized how long I'd been there until I noticed that the sun had started to peak out again. I stood up abruptly, took my leave, and left as quickly as I could.

And because of that the whole Kingdom wanted me dethroned.

Someone had seen me, in my robe, leave the rooms of one of the prince's guards. No one wanted to talk about how Minho and Newt had switched rooms. That wasn't even mentioned. It wasn't like I could come out and say that either. It wouldn't have been as bad but it was better to pretend that my visit had never happened. The only thing I had going for me was that Minho apparently had the fame of being quite promiscuous and that I was simply confused for someone else. At least that's what Janson had started to spread in all the circles through his wide network of connections.

Janson had advised me not to hide out as much as I wanted to. That I should just pretend that I didn't know what people were saying.

So I spent my free time with Thomas, who no longer wanted me dead, mocking the courtiers and playing intense games of chesskers which resulted in me sorely losing and Thomas and Teresa playing for hours, neither one willing to lose.

I finally had tea with Newt and after that he took me on a tour of the grounds. We went riding in the morning and then had breakfast together. The more time I spent around him the easier it was for me not to hate him and it was good damage control.

Most of my time had been absorbed with dress fittings and agreeing with whatever choices Antonietta put in front of me. I wasn't too invested in my own wedding.

A wedding that was happening in two days.

I didn't know how I was going to sleep. The nerves and anxiety were going to keep me awake all night.

Calming salts only gave me headaches

Tomorrow the guest would be arriving. Newt and I were supposed to stand at the palace doors and great them all. That would be exhausting but James was coming and James made everything better. James was the crown prince of Hiberia. My parents had made sure to make strong ties with Hiberia as a protection from Brittanicca. The current regent was temperamental so my parents wanted to make sure they'd be ready in case something arouse. Ergo, James and I had grown somewhat close. We understood each other rather well. His family indirectly ostracized him due to his…How should I put it? Mildly said, James was more in touch with his feminine side. I wasn't a boy. So we had both disappointed our parents immensely.

I hadn't seen him in ages. He hadn't gone to the yearly ceremonies in Suecia, but I had gotten a letter when we got back from the fair. James promised that he would be here no matter what. He was reliable.

I was putting his letter away when Janson stormed in to berate me.

"If they call for a verification and they might," I was about to protest but he held a hand up "If they call for a verification, it will only be for your benefit. You might not bleed on your wedding night and an accusation based on that will be atrocious and we can never fully recover from that. So just keep that in mind if its brought up. At this point its too hard to tell but I won't fight it if it comes up. One because it will only be beneficial and Two as a punishment, you should have been more careful."

My stomach was churning at the thought of the wedding night. It was like a boulder had been shoved down my throat and dropped in my stomach.

"We can't just sit by and let your public opinion be degraded. I'm not talking about the court; you'll never shut them up but you need to do something about the plebes. I want to see how well you've learned to handle these situations so you have to come with a solution. I recommend you do it before the wedding. I'd hate for you to be booed on your wedding day."

Thanks for all the reviews!

As for Dutchrub, I Really appreciate your feedback it helps a lot and your reviews are always thought out. So extra Thanks! Hope I don't disappoint and if I do let me know and I'll try to do better.