Chapter 4

I lost track of time because Bucky and I talked about so many things after our first kiss. I told him about my childhood. My love for cooking, dancing, and singing. How I went to college a year early and felt so nervous. I told him about my interest in going back to school to get a degree in psychology but decided not to due to the financial strain. I got choked up a bit when I told him about my parents dying. I managed not to cry at all, yet Bucky heard the pain in my voice. He was so comforting as he held me in his arms caressing my hair. Sometimes I can talk about my parent's death and be fine. Others the grief will hit me as if it's new.

Bucky told me about his childhood and how he grew up with Steve. I've heard most of the stories from Steve's point of view. It was nice to hear them from Bucky's. I could definitely tell that he loved Steve as a brother. I already knew that Steve loved him and risked his life when he rescued Bucky when he was a prisoner of war. Bucky told me about how they escaped and how it seemed like Steve was trapped in the burning Hydra base because a beam fell after Bucky crossed it. He told me that he was not going to leave without him and screamed, 'I'm not leaving without you.' I never heard that part from Steve, yet I was glad that it gave him motivation to try to jump across. My anxiety was high by just listening to the story as if it were currently happening and not something in the past. Bucky was so descriptive. He really needs to write a story about his life if he's ever up to it.

I found out so much stuff that I didn't know about him. Sure, Steve told me a lot yet Bucky went into full details about his life… except any girlfriends. I haven't told him about the shit that Michael put me through and the restraining order. I can tell him all of that at another time. I didn't even tell my brother yet because I didn't want him upset. Sam has been through so much in the past week. I don't think that Steve told Bucky why we broke up and what he did to me? I remember like it was yesterday begging most of the Avengers to not hurt or kill him. I still have a small scar on my head from when it hit the coffee table. I'm sure if Bucky knew why we broke up he would have brought it up in the past few hours since we've talked about so much personal and emotional stuff.

Bucky told me about his parents and how his father died because his parachute failed in an army camp in a training exercise. I felt a deep sadness as if it just happened recently. Damn our parents both died of tragic accidents. At least his mother lived a long life. I've never seen pictures of Bucky's parents and was curious if he looked like his mother or father or a mixture of both.

"Which parent do you look like, or you look like both?" I curiously asked.

"I look so much like my father. Fitting since I was named after him. My father's name is James Jimmy Barnes."

"Oh, I didn't know that you were named after your father."

"Yeah."

"Did Steve call you James when you were kids because he never referred to you as James to me?"

"No. Bucky was always my nick name from my middle name… so that's how I was introduced to him in elementary school. It was easier for my mom to give me another name or my father and I wouldn't know who she was calling. I was never called junior."

"Hmmm… James," I said trying it out in his presence since I always referred to him as Bucky.

"Wow I never knew that I would enjoy you calling me by my first name so much."

"Really?" I asked smiling. "I'm so used to calling you Bucky."

"Well… you can call me Bucky and James."

I imagined how it would sound to moan James. Oh shit… that sounds sexy too as I internally heard my voice moan his name.

"Hmmm… I wonder what you're thinking about?" he asked.

"Oh nothing." Bucky leaned down to my ear. "Sarah," he moaned. My pussy clinked. Fuck

"You were trying out moaning my first name in your head, weren't you?"

"Well, that wasn't fair at all," I laughed. "And yes." Dammit that was a good guess. It's like he's in my head.

Bucky and I talked for a few more hours. I wasn't paying attention to my phone to know what time it was. I just knew that I enjoyed our conversation and I felt so safe and comfortable snuggled up on the side of his tall muscular body. If I had to guess it seemed like we were out here for around four hours.

"The first time that I found out about you I was a just a kid on a school trip to the Smithsonian in D.C."

"Aww… I can just imagine you there as a kid. I've seen kid pics of you from Steve. Sometimes he acts like a proud father when it comes to you."

I chuckled.

"Yes, Steve is Steve."

"Hey… you know Steve's mother's name was Sarah."

"I know," I said smiling.

"She was like a mother figure to me."

"Hmm… so is it weird to say that name when speaking to me?"

"No… not speaking to you… but moaning it in your ear was kinda weird. I'll get used to it. It's not the first time-."

Bucky stopped abruptly, looking like he was afraid to finish his sentence.

"Wha… What's wrong?" I asked.

"Noth... Nothing."

"Bucky… Remember when you told me tonight to not be afraid or hesitant to tell you anything."

"Wow I don't believe that I'm about to tell you this. Well… I…. I'm used to moaning your name."

My eyes widened a bit. Why was he moaning my name? "Ahh… Umm… I jerked off to your pics in Wakanda." Wow. I was basically in shock for a brief moment. "Oh... Oh," I said flustered.

Bucky came while thinking about me. Oh my God. Well shit… if that image isn't sexy as hell. "Wow… I… I didn't…" I took big gulp. "Well ok. That's Umm… That's very interesting to know." Why did you say it that way?

"Sorry if that made you feel uncomfortable," he said apologetically.

"Oh No… I'm not uncomfortable. It's just a bit… shocking. Hearing that you came thinking about me. Especially when I had no clue that you thought of me… in a sexual way. Wow I'm… Well that just." I cleaned my throat. "Honestly… that sounded so sexy to hear. And… I had a visual of you… doing that." I shifted my legs because the sexual tension was driving me crazy. Wow he came thinking about me. I purposely tried my best not to look down at his pants to see if his dick was hard. It was bright enough around us from the lights for me to see if I dared to look.

"So, you… imagined me coming?" he asked in a sexy tone.

Holy shit.

"Umm… Yes," I said nervously.

"Hmm," he mused.

I was thinking of how sexy he would look jerking off. Shit this is crazy. I'm so horny right now it's ridiculous. For a few seconds I imagined him jerking off now and coming on me. That would be a bold crazy request.

"You know… you put that thought in my head by telling me what you did."

"Ok… I'll take the blame for that," he said smirking.

I started to twirl my finger around a lock of my hair due to being nervous. None of my thoughts were pure. I kept on imagining Bucky buck naked.

"It was more like a fantasy for me then," Bucky said. "It's not like I could really act on anything knowing that I needed all the time possible for them to help me out with my… issues."

"Oh… Well… truth be told… I have had a few dreams about you. One in particular wasn't so innocent."

"Wow really. You had a dream about me?"

I gently smiled.

"What was it about?"

"Ahh… I don't remember all the details," I said quickly.

"I call bull shit."

We both laughed.

"Well, I remember some of it," I said with a grin.

"Come on… tell me. Please," he begged giving me the cutest puppy dog eyes.

I took a deep breath.

"Umm… Ehh... It was just… I don't know how to. Well… Ahh." Why was it so hard getting this out? "I… I dreamed about you shirtless… on top of me… and what it would feel like running my fingers through your hair."

"Oh… Wow. When was this?" he asked curiously.

"Umm… On the way up here," I said quietly.

"Oh. Soo… how long were you attracted to me?"
"I… I mean I always thought that you were handsome… well gorgeous actually. It was never a… realistic way for me to even think about you in that way. Sure, I knew that you were Steve's best friend since you were kids and heard a lot about your lives together. My only chances to have a realistic curiosity about you were the few weeks you were in America before you went to Wakanda and after you were unfrozen. It was basically a silent secret admiration that I had for you. I got updates from Steve on how you were doing there. I guess my crush grew just hearing about you and I was so glad that you were getting better."

"Wow."

"And here I thought it was going to be hard to explain that."

"No… you explained it pretty well."

I started playing with my ring on my finger twisting it from being nervous. I couldn't believe that I just spilled my guts about him. Bucky reached for my hand and started caressing the top of it. His hands were so much bigger than mine. I noticed that he had a mole near his wrist. Wow I want to know his entire body by heart one day. I looked up from his hand and gazed at him. I was wondering what he was thinking. "Your lips are so sexy," he breathed. Again, I was lost for words. My brain knew to say thank you, yet my mind was racing. This beautiful man came thinking about me and all I could do is imagine him coming. His facial expressions… him breathing hard… him groaning. Oh my God… him coming inside me.

My music cut off on my phone and my brother's ring tone took its place. Great timing. "Hello?" I said a bit confused. I was still trying to process that Bucky jerked off to my pictures and myself admitting my dream to him.

"Where are you… are you ok?"

"Umm… Yes, I'm ok. I'm by the lake talking to Bucky."

My brother was loud enough for Bucky to hear everything since he was so close to me. I really didn't want Sam to say anything embarrassing because he lives to mess with me.

"Oh. Umm… Ok. I'm going to crash at their other cabin down the road with Thor, Cap, Tick-Tack, and Rhodes. Wanda, Fury, and The Big Two are staying where you are."

"What are the big two?"

"Aliens and wizards," Sam and Bucky said at the same time.

"Whaa?"

"That's what we call them," Bucky explained. "If we had an android here, we would say The Big Three. Because that's what it seems like we're always fighting. But we know that Strange is technically a sorcerer."

"What Bucky said," Sam confirmed. "Breakfast is going to be very interesting tomorrow with that group. Oh, and there's two bedrooms left there. TWO!"

"What are you implying?" I asked.

"Oh… Bucky knows."

Oh my God is he really being like this. I'm 25 and have my own house though he technically owns half of it. Did he threaten Bucky about something?

"Sam what did you do?"

"I didn't do a thing."

"Okaayyy."

I knew that he was lying. I looked at Bucky because I'm sure he knew what Sam was referring to. He just made a small shrug and mouthed, "Its ok."

"I'll get your bag from the trunk and bring it in the cabin then head down the road. Two rooms remember."

"Thank you and I get it," I said a bit frustrated.

"Ok."

"Well, Umm… good night. Love you," I said.

"Yeah, thanks Sam… and I love you too," Bucky called out.

"Yeah Yeah Yeah… don't make this weird," Sam scoffed playfully.

Bucky laughed under his breath.

"You guys better behave."

"I'll be fine Sam. 25 remember not 12."

"I... I'm not saying that you're not grown. I just-."

"Sam… I'm not going to let anything happen to your sister," Bucky called out. "See I got this vibranium arm and-."

"Screw your vibranium arm. Just… Just make sure that my sister is ok."

"Of course, my little pigeon."

"See now," Sam growled.

"Byeee Sam," I laughed.

"See ya tomorrow."

"Ok bye. Love ya."

"Love you too Big Head."

I hung up the phone and Bucky had a wide smirk on his face then laughed.

"So, your nick name is Big Head?"

"No, he's the only one that calls me that."

"So you're nick name is Big Head then," he laughed. "Cute name," he mused.

I playfully rolled my eyes at him. I wanted Bucky to tell me what my brother said to him since he claims that he knows… like they had some conversation about me. I'm sure my brother did his brotherly thing and threatened him somehow… even if it was in a nice way.

"Soooo… what did my brother ask you not to do since he had to bring up two separate rooms twice?"

"Well you know your brother."

"Yes, I do."

"Basically… he doesn't want us to rush into anything. He has accepted that we do like each other. This is all weird to him because it's me. Of course, I'm going to be respectful towards you."

And here my mind is going over ways to get us naked.

"Well… Sam's been overprotective all my life."

"I was overprotective of my sister Becca as well. It's only out of love."

"Sam takes it to another level… I think it's because we lost our parents when I was young."

"Well, I do know he definitely loves you and cares about you. When he talked about us earlier, he didn't seem angry he just was cautious about the idea of us."

"Because... Because of your PTSD?"

"Yes, that's part of it."

"Oh. How… How are you dealing with it?"

"One day at a time. It's easier some days than others. I still have a lot of nightmares… and guilt for all the shit that I've done. Basically, everything about me is complicated in a way."

"Oh. Is that why you said that it was a loaded question when I asked you if you were ok earlier?"

"Yeah… even though I had no choice or control of all the things that I've done in the past... the guilt feels like its eating me alive at times."

It was breaking my heart hearing the pain in his voice. Bucky made a deep sigh and ran his hand through his hair. "I'm so sorry that you're in pain like this… the guilt you feel. It… It wasn't you, Bucky. That person wasn't you. You were a victim in all of this too." Bucky's face crunched up like he was trying to hold back his emotions. My eyes started to fill up with tears. "That still doesn't take any of it away," he said with his voice breaking. "I remember everything… so it's like The Winter Solider still lives inside me… living rent free in my head." I felt a tear drop and he gently took his thumb and wiped it away.

"Things will get better someday," I said as I reached for him to embrace him in my arms.

"Thank you," he said squeezing me tightly.

"I'm here for you… for anything," I said with my voice breaking.

"Thank you, Sarah," he breathed then kissed my forehead.

Bucky held me tightly in his arms and we just laid there in silence. My face was full of tears. They kept on coming as I laid on his chest. I kinda see why Sam was so hesitant of me getting to know Bucky this way and forming an intimate relationship. His soul was so tortured. I just witnessed hearing the pain in his voice and looking at his expression. It didn't discourage me at all to not want to try to be with him. I can't even explain the connection that I feel with him. I want to be there for him in all the ways that he needs me… and I haven't known him for 24 hours yet.

I noticed the light reflecting on his vibranium arm. Besides his memories even his body has to remind him of his fall and being made into what he is now. Wow… and to think that I first heard about him in school when I was a child. Now I'm lying next to him in his arms wanting to take care of him. All of this is surreal to me. I kissed his chest, and he kissed the top of my head then lifted my head to look up at him. Bucky gave me a loving look once he saw that my face was covered in tears. His eyes were watery as well. He leaned down to kiss me. His kisses were so soft and perfect. I gently moaned in his mouth.

"You make me feel comfortable in my uncomfortable world," he breathed. Oh wow… if he wanted my heart to belong to him it's totally his now.

"Bucky," I said with my voice breaking.

"Relax… Rest your eyes. I'll keep you warm," he breathed.

"You make me feel comfortable too."

Bucky gently smiled at me and hugged my body a bit tighter. Knowing that he's been through so much pain and still living through it was breaking my heart. He started caressing my hair and I knew that I was going to fall asleep at any minute. Today was so emotional for me in so many ways. Losing Tony and Nat and saying goodbye really hurt. Having Sam back in my life for the past few days felt like a miracle come true. The three hour drive up here was therapeutic talking to my brother rapping and singing to music. Having him playfully nag me just as he always did, I felt like things were back in place. Now I'm lying on Bucky's body with my head spinning on how he has affected me. Each time that he hugged me today gave me different reactions. The first I was just excited to finally meet him, and I felt dizzy and lightheaded. The second time I felt comforted in the hallway next to the Stark's pictures. The third time after I broke down and cried about Nat… I felt like he was trying his best to secure my emotions without saying any words. It was so relaxing being held by him lying next to the peaceful lake. In the few hours that I've known him personally I have grown to care for him even more than imagined. I loved how his body heat felt against my skin. I loved hearing his heartbeat in my ear and listening to him breathe. Wow this man really has me falling hard for him. Bucky started to caress my back. I softly moaned due to the sensations that he gave me from his touch. I slowly drifted off to sleep with Bucky on my mind and now completely in my heart.

Bucky kissed my forehead, and it woke me up. I didn't even know how long I was asleep. He softly kissed the lid of my eye, my nose, and then my lips.

"Hey… let's get inside ok," he said softly.

"Umm… Ok," I said half sleep.

"It was very relaxing sleeping with you in my arms by the lake."

"Yes, it was," I breathed as he leaned down to kiss me again.

I stretched a bit because I felt stiff then yawned. Bucky yawed a few seconds after me.

"See it's contagious," I said.

"Yes, it is," he chuckled.

Bucky stretched his arms above his head making a soft grunting noise. I slid my hand under his shirt and ran it softly back and forth across his stomach feeling the ripples of his muscles. I wanted to be in his arms for the rest of the night. What harm would it do if we just simply fell asleep in the same bed in the cabin? "Mmm," he softly moaned then kissed my forehead. "Come on before a bear thinks that we're a snack."

I giggled.

"Ok. But you would protect me, right?" I said smiling.

"Of course I would."

Bucky stood up and lifted me off the lounge chair cradling me in his arms like a small child. "Do I feel like a feather?" He chuckled.

"Yes, you do. This still doesn't demonstrate my strength though."

"Well, I'm sure you can find other ways to show me," I said softly.

"I will," he laughed.

Bucky carried me all the way back to the cabin and put me down once we were upstairs.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, Ma'am."

I felt a slight chill go through my body. He looked up the hallway then back at me. His expression was so adorable.

"Well… this is the room that you're staying in. I'm staying in the room that's farthest down the hall to the left. I… I see that Sam put your bags and jacket near the dresser."

"Oh ok."

I glanced over and noticed my things. I looked back up at him and I felt a bit dizzy. I guess I was overwhelmed by what happened tonight and I wanted more. Shit, I didn't want to say goodnight to him at all. I wanted to hold him until I fell asleep. I was thinking of ways to ask him to stay with me throughout the night.

"Ahh… Umm… It was really nice getting to know you… James Bucky Barnes."

"Well… it was all my pleasure… Sarah Wilson."

"It was really nice… getting to kiss you too."

Bucky softly chuckled.

"Yes, it was. We should do that often," he said then bit his bottom lip.

Damn he looked so fucking sexy. I sighed thinking about how he would look naked. "Sounds like a plan," I breathed. I really wanted him to decide to be with me all night. He looked a bit torn. I'm sure it was from whatever conversation he had with my brother. Who knows what he said to him. I still didn't care and wanted Bucky to sleep with me. I don't care if we didn't have sex… I just wanted him close to me. I extended my hand to him, and he took it. I walked backwards into the room, and he followed me and gently shut the door.

"Sarah," he breathed.

"I just want to kiss you again… before I go to sleep."

Bucky held my head with both hands and deeply kissed me, having his hot tongue move around in my mouth and gently biting my lips. It made me feel lightheaded. His kisses drove me crazy. I gently murmured as I felt my pussy getting wetter. I wanted to make love to him so badly. The last three years of just toys weren't really satisfying. I couldn't even believe that I was considering having sex with him this soon. From age 17 to now I've only had sex with two men and each time I waited a while. My first boyfriend in high school we waited three months. My last boyfriend it was shorter, and I only waited around six weeks. I didn't care that I only knew him for a couple of hours. I felt so connected to him and all I wanted was for him to be inside me, holding me, and making me come moaning his name.

I was going to spontaneously combust because of the way that he was kissing and groping my body. He helped take off the jacket he let me wear then caressed my ass through my dress. Oh my God his hands felt so good. I gripped his hair yearning for him to just take me. I wanted him to do whatever he wanted to me. Bucky lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He walked over to the bed and sat down holding my body against his. Oh my God this is really happening? His mouth was all over my neck. Kissing, licking, and gently biting it. I softly panted and moaned still in disbelief. Bucky started to unzip the back of my dress. Shit Shit Shit is this going to happen? I lifted my arms over my head as he pulled the dress off of me. Then he unhooked my bra and took it off. I'm so glad that I had sexy matching lace bra and panty set on today. Bucky's mouth returned to my neck as he thrusted his hips forward making his hard dick rub against my clit in my soaked red panties. Fuck I wanted him inside me. "Bucky," I panted. "Oh my God." He stood up and flipped me on my back. It was such a quick movement that it startled me. He continued to kiss me and sensually bit my lip. Then moved down my body and gently bit my breast as his hand slid up my inner thigh. My pussy clinched and I moaned a bit louder than I did before. "Bucky... Ohh... Baby." Shit I have to stay quiet. I don't want anyone to hear me. Bucky leaned back and took off his shirt. His body was beautiful even with the scars that he had on his left shoulder. I adored every inch of his perfect imperfect skin. I gazed over him in awe. Oh my God this man was gorgeous.

Bucky rested his body back onto me and started to kiss slowly down my body starting with my neck then collarbone. I had to try my best to not moan out loud when he sucked on my breast. "Ooh," I murmured. Then he slowly licked stomach licked my stomach. "Ooh… Ooh… Bucky," I softly moaned. "Oh my God." My body started to shiver as he got lower. He grazed his teeth across the top of my pussy through my panties. "Bucky," I moaned. I couldn't take much more of this. I wasn't even sure if I could keep my moans quiet so I wouldn't wake anyone. I was able to be quiet when needed with my first because we did it a lot in his basement which was his bedroom. Bucky quickly climbed back up my body and I jumped from being startled. What the?Why did he stop so abruptly?

"I… We should wait… take things a bit slower," he said with his voice sounding completely torn.

"Oh ok," I said trying my best to hide my sudden sexual frustration.

I felt like I was going to explode. Bucky rolled to his side and propped his head up with his arm. If woman got blue balls, I would definitely have them by now. I turned my head to face him and he started to softly caress my collarbone back and forth. "I want our first time to be special," he said in the sexiest voice. He moved closer to me and kissed my shoulder.

"Plus… you should be free to scream and moan all you want."

"Oh, so you're definitely sure that you can make me scream?" I teased.

"I'm pretty confident that I can make you come harder than you've ever came in your life."

Oh Well damn.

"Also… I don't want to hurt you by accident," he said with a concerned tone. "I… I haven't had sex in 78 years. I have to make sure that I know how to control my strength so that I won't hurt you."

"Oh... Oh... Um… Ok," I stammered as my thoughts went through scenarios of having sex with someone with superhuman strength.

"Umm… Well, you definitely beat me on the celibacy part. It's been three years for me."

"Really?"

"Yeah," I said a bit shyly.

"Do you mind me asking why?"

"No, I don't mind. I just… I wanted to wait for something special… and I'm not really into casual sex. I've only had sex with two people."

"Ok. Nothing wrong with that. Well, you are definitely something special to me."

"Me too."

I'd rather not think of the last one at all. Did I even want to know his number? All those women who had a chance to get what I needed pounding inside me. No, I don't want to know about those lucky bitches. Ugg let me not be mean. How could I possibly be jealous, and I wasn't even born yet. I just know that Steve told me that so many women had crushes on him when he was a teen and before he went off to war.

"It was eight… just in case you were wondering," he stated.

"Oh… I… ok."

I didn't want to pry, but damn… only eight.

Bucky rested his head on the pillow and kissed my forehead then lips. I know women had to be throwing themselves at him. Shit, I would do the same. Oh my God I can't believe how horny I am right now. I would gladly except just being finger fucked by him… anything. I also wanted to tell him that he was very special to me too. He started to kiss my mouth again and kissed me deeper. I wrapped my leg around his hip, and he moved closer to my body. Bucky let our lips part and just looked at me while he was caressing my hair. I took a finger and moved a lock of hair away from his eyes. Oh my God his eyes are so beautiful. With that same finger I gently moved it across his eyebrow. He gently smiled at me.

"Ya know… you're special to me too James Bucky Barnes."

"Wow… I just love hearing you say my first name."

"James," I breathed in a sexy tone.

"You really don't play fair Sarah."

"What did I do? I didn't do anything," I teased. He gave me the side eye. "Sorry. Trust me, I know this is frustrating. My girlfriends thought I was crazy for being celibate for so long. Well they still do. They ask me questions like I'm some famous pioneer," I laughed and he laughed along with me.

"Steve did tell me that you weren't dating anyone serious when I was in Wakanda."

"He did did he. Well… how did that conversation come up?"

"I asked of course," he laughed. "And he told me that you were single when I asked about you a few nights ago when we first got to the cabin."

"My play big brother is spilling all the beans huh?" I laughed.

"Well even if he didn't it would have been a mission for me to find out."

Bucky took his finger and started to trace my lips. It tingled and made my pussy clinch.

"I just had to know," he breathed.

"I really didn't think… that my day was going to end like this. I'm really glad that it did."

"Yes, today was a very emotional day for everyone."

He leaned in to kiss me. Oh my God this was so hard for me. I wanted to feel his hands all over me again. Is it weird that I wanted him to be more sexually experienced as super solider just so that he would know how to fuck me without hurting me?

"Mmm… I wish that I could kiss you all night. But I should really go," he said sounding conflicted.

"Oh… Ok," I said sadly.

"Sarah… I don't want to go though. It's just that I should. The temptation is too strong for me right now. The things that I want to do to you." Bucky took a deep breath and sat up. "Trust me… I would love to stay by your side tonight."

"Then stay," I softly pleaded.

"Baby…"

I saw the conflict in his eyes and decided not to ask anymore.

"I don't want to tempt you… so I'm not. It's not easy... I feel like climbing the walls right now. Nothing but sex toys for three years. And they don't even work that well for me."

"Toys huh?" he said with a grin.

Bucky looked down at his vibranium hand and wiggled his fingers with a curious look. What type of gadgets does that thing have?

"I… I really should go to my room," he said then sighed.

"Wha- what can that hand do?" I was too curious not to ask.

"I promise that I'll show you one day."

"Oh… Ok," I said a bit intrigued and nervous at the same time.

I sat up and gently touched his arm. It was like my body was trying to seduce him when my conscience already agreed not to. "I need to go," he breathed. "I may be strong, yet my will power is not this strong. And I promised…" Just from his expression I knew exactly his promise and the conversation that he had with my brother. Sam knows that I've been celibate for the past three years because I haven't been in a serious relationship. I guess he's trying to protect my 'what so ever' virtue. I didn't want to be the cause of any more temptation or guilt for Bucky. His thoughts had to be already heavy about a lot of things. I softly kissed his forehead. Then he returned the kiss kissing my forehead the same way that I did. Fuck he's so sexy to me.

"Umm… Can I take a parting gift?" he asked.

"Ahhh… Sure. What?" I chuckled.

Bucky looked down at my panties and had a hungry look in his eyes.

"Can I have those?"

"My panties?"

He shook his head yes with a sexy smirk on his face. Fuck he's kinky for an old man.

"Um… Yeah… Yes," I said completely flustered.

"Lie down," he asked in a deeper voice.

Whoa ok. I laid back down on my back. I was so nervous that I noticed that my hands were trembling, so I decided to grip the blanket. Bucky got on his knees and hovered over my body. My breathing hitched as I watched his face. He leaned down to my body and kissed my stomach using his tongue as if he was French kissing my body. Fuck he felt so good. The anticipation was driving me crazy. I didn't know if he was going to eat me out or just take my panties.

"Bucky," I moaned.

"Can I kiss you… down there?" he asked in a sexy tone.

Oh my God.

"Ahh… Yeah… Yes," I murmured."

Bucky slowly kissed down to the top of my panties. I wanted to let out a loud squeal yet knew I couldn't. I didn't want anyone in the cabin to hear me. I gripped the sheets tighter and bit my lip. He ran his tongue along the ridge of my panties while he caressed my thigh. My leg started to tremble, and he looked up at me and smiled. Oh my God I want him so much. He kissed me the ran his tongue over my clit with my panties still on. I made a loud gasp and covered my mouth with my hand. "See," he breathed. "I need you alone all to myself." Bucky gently bit me and moved his tongue in circles on my wet panties. I held my breath because I felt like I was going to scream. He gripped the sides of my panties and slowly pulled them down. I noticed the coldness from his left vibranium fingers. It was such a contrast from the heat of his right hand. Bucky pulled them completely off my legs. I felt so exposed and I loved it. He looked at my pussy and bit his lip. I heard a tiny grunt come from his throat. "Thank you for this," he said softly. I could hardly speak. He inhaled my panties and gave a sexy smile. "Your pussy smells so tasty. Damn I can't wait to…" He paused and gave me an intense look. Shit. "You have no idea of the strength that I'm trying to muster to leave this room." I bit my bottom lip and sighed. This is so unfair. I wanted him inside me. I couldn't take my eyes off of his sculpted body as my heart pounded in my chest. I slid my feet back so that my legs would bend, which gave him a better view. I told him that I wouldn't temp him anymore and here I go basically putting it in his face.

"Damn Sarah... you look so fucking sexy laying there. I just want to-."

"I know," I breathed.

Bucky blew out his breath and ran his fingers through his long wavy hair. I could see that he was getting more frustrated. I slid my legs back down onto the bed. I wasn't being fair to any of us. Of course I wanted him to fuck me. But he didn't even know how to control himself yet. Why was I hoping that he would cave in and lay back down on top of me completely naked? I seriously didn't want to become hospitalized because of sex injuries. And I definitely wanted to be able to moan and scream his name. I can't do that here with a house full of people and aliens. Dammit Sarah. Well at least I can try to convince him to stay with me and just to fall asleep next to me. I do want to see his dick though because it definitely doesn't look like an average size. Is Bucky Italian? Ok how can I do this without implying sex?

"Can we make this fair?" I asked as innocently as I could.

"What do you mean?"

"Well... I showed you mine," I said then softly giggled.

"Oh… ok," he said nodding his head. "As you wish Ms. Wilson."

Oh my God did someone make Bucky watch The Princess Bride? Bucky started to unbutton his jeans then he unzipped them and pulled them down to his thighs. His bulge looked even thicker in his grey drawls. He took both hands and pulled the sides down letting his hard dick flop out. Shit, it was huge. I slightly gasped. "Wow." Was the only thing I was able to say audibly. I took a big gulp thinking of how this would go for our first time.

"Ahh… Well… Your… Your Super Solider is definitely standing at attention."

"Yes Ma'am," he said with a smile then let the laugh out that he was holding in. "That was a good one," he mused. "So… So do you like what you see?"

"Um… Wow… Yes. I… I think the right old timer phrase for that would be Holy Cow."

"Wow… Sarah you're adorable," he said then chuckled. "And I certainly love what I see."

"Thank you. I'm limber too."

"Ha! I'm sure that you are. Please don't show me now. I barley can stay this far from you without going crazy," he said as he started to pull up his clothes. He had a painful expression on his face as if he didn't want to put his clothes back on. I didn't want him to get dressed either. I wanted to touch it. Shit… I even wanted to lick it. He stuck my panties in his back pocket. I knew that I had to let him get dressed and leave and not make it harder for him. Oh, but I do want to make that harder for him… stay focused and behave.

I wanted him to stay and just hold me in his arms while I slept and dreamed about him. I figured that would be an acceptable request. No sex… just… holding one another. Who am I kidding? I would be wired awake with my eyes closed plotting to seduce him at every moment. He probably would be struggling not to touch me as well if we slept in the same bed. Oh fuck Uggg! Well, I've been celibate for three years. A few more weeks won't kill me. My eyes fixed on Bucky's biceps then I looked at his face. Yes, this is going to frickn' kill me. Bucky walked over to the side of my bed and scooped me up in his arms. I loved the coolness of his arm against my body. "You're my favorite thing to pick up now," he breathed. I softly giggled then kissed him. His eyes looked sad, and it was killing me that I wouldn't be in his arms soon.

"I bid adieu and will see you in the morning," Bucky said reluctantly.

"I know… I don't want you to leave too." Please stay.

Bucky let my legs slowly down so that I could stand then hugged me. I closed my eyes and inhaled his cologne. I really have to let him leave. I started to feel sad. It was a combination of things between him needing to leave and missing Nat and Tony. He started to rub my back and I looked up at him. He gently smiled and leaned down to kiss me. I moaned in his mouth and his hands slid down to my bare ass. He gripped the bottom of my ass with his fingers nearly touching my pussy. I gasped from the sensation. I gently bit his chin then licked his neck. He flinched then sighed deeply.

"Sarah… how will I ever get to leave… when you are-."

"Well, you just grabbed my ass… so you can't blame me."

"Ok… that's fair," he said putting his hands up as if he were surrendering.

"Plus, you…"

"I What?"

"Well… you umm… you kissed me there and I can't get that out of my mind."

"Oh you can't can you?" he said with a devilish grin. "Trust me… if I knew that I had more control I would do so much more to you darling. Plus, we're not really alone. Not a good idea to have you moaning wildly now."

"I know," I said softly chuckling.

Bucky lifted up my chin with his finger and kissed my lips then my forehead.

"I promise you … when we're alone I will make you come over and over… ok."

"Oh... Umm ok," I said a bit taken off guard.

Bucky leaned over the bed and grabbed his T-Shirt. Once he had it on, I smoothed it out over his chest with both of my hands. Maybe I just wanted to touch him again. It's not like he's worried about the wrinkles since he was going to bed.

"Soo… I'll see you tomorrow for breakfast and a ride?" I said gazing up at his color changing eyes.

"Yes, I will happily have you ride my… bike."

Shit I definitely caught on to that innuendo. So he likes teasing me and driving me crazy I see.

"I can't wait to ride… your bike Bucky Barnes," I said purposely sounding sexy.

"Fuuuck," he breathed. "Ok… Ok I'm leaving now. Sorry I have to go. Good night, Sarah."

Bucky quickly kissed my lips and picked up his jacket and walked quickly out of the room. Well damn. I guess that was his breaking point. I stood there in a daze for a few seconds then I walked to the door. I looked down the hallway. He even didn't look back and walked into his room. I sighed and closed the door. I just stood there then rested my forehead on it. Dammit I wanted to at least sleep in his arms tonight. I sighed again. "Oh well," I said softly. I walked over to the bed and sat down on it. This feels so crazy and good at the same time. And look at him being a little freak wanting my panties. I wonder what he's doing to them? Wow… he could be jerking off right now. Oh my God how am I ever going to be able to fall asleep now? Dammit Bucky Barnes.

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