Warning: In addition to the historical and cultural mismatches for the sake of this story, from this chapter on the story becomes quite serious and the drama begins, with the occasional comic relief here and there. I won't necessarily have graphic depictions of violent or sexual themes, but the story will be heavy just for the sake of mentioning them.
Chapter 4: Memories in the snow.
Winter of 1863
The first time Tomoe met the blue-eyed priestess is at the beginning of winter, still five months away from her sixteenth birthday. Her engagement ceremony is soon to take place. The first snow has not yet fallen, but the cold dominates the atmosphere, and the days have become shorter.
During the last days, there has been a kind of tension in the air. More and more fighting has broken out across Japan, but for now - and contrary to what one would expect - Kyoto remains quiet, relatively safe. But for a young woman in love, political issues matter little, and she has less interest in trying to understand them.
Tomoe has always been quiet, reserved, and shy. For this reason, she is truly grateful and happy with the blessing that her union with Akira received almost two months ago. This is the reason why she is now walking towards the sanctuary -to thank the gods for her good fortune-. They have already climbed a little more than half of the steps that lead to the Tori; she is in the company of his younger brother Enishi and her Aunt Kagome, who has taken them in since their mother died after Enishi was born.
"Sister, aren't you excited?" Asks Enishi at her side, one of those kids who almost no longer exist these days. One who is still a child despite being less than four years away from the ceremony that will crown him with the title of man.
"I am," the black-haired woman nods with a simple smile.
At her side, her aunt notices the slight tremor in the young woman's posture. After years of acting as her mother, it is normal for her to know how to interpret her heart.
"You shouldn't worry, your union has been blessed by the gods," she says.
"As expected of my sister. -Declares the boy proudly. -The gods have granted your wish, and Akira sama will be your husband."
"Eh(yes)…" Tomoe nods again, although this time a bit more insecure.
Even though Akira has confessed his love for her, Tomoe has been unable to express her feelings freely. She still can't get over her embarrassment, but she knows that the boy who has chosen her must understand her, or at least that's what she says every time he smiles sympathetically at her in silence.
Enishi takes a few steps forward when Aunt Kagome leans over slightly and lets out a groan.
"Are you alright, honorable aunt?"
The woman looks pale, and after a forced sigh, she manages to speak to her.
"I'm sorry, Tomoe chan, it seems that the baby will come soon."
Her heart jumps in alarm. Enishi retraces his steps upon hearing her, there is panic on his face.
"Are you sure?"
The woman nods once, and the young woman is able to see the pain in her expression. There is no time to go back to the village or to go down the steps to where they left the carriage they came in, not to mention that they are closer to Tori. At that moment, Tomoe makes a decision.
"Enishi, run to the sanctuary; hurry up!"
The boy runs up the stairs like hell will break.
…
Since his arrival at the sanctuary almost two months ago -at the end of autumn-, Kenshin has fallen into a kind of routine, which consists of following Kaoru throughout the sanctuary.
That, to a certain extent, was to be expected. They still share a room, with the screen separating both futons. The boy accompanies her in her duties in the temple and listens to her when she has something to teach him or explain to him that he doesn't know about religion. Except for the moments when she has to assist one of the mikos or the Guji himself (main priest) in some ceremony, she is faithful to following her like a shadow - except that it is a very lively shadow that enjoys getting on her nerves as much as possible-.
The rest of those in the sanctuary seems to have grown accustomed to his constant presence with the apprentice, and even enjoy the small arguments they suddenly have. He criticizes her lack of cooking skills, and she attacks him by pointing out his pathetic handwriting.
"They are a match made in heaven," the Guji once mentioned, smiling. Beside him, Yumi nodded with him; both of them have been keeping a close eye on the couple's interaction, keeping an eye out for any complications.
However, there was one area in which they did not argue, on the contrary, they professed mutual respect.
"Spread your legs wider," Kenshin ordered, ahead of Kaoru. The aforementioned did as she was told.
The art of the sword.
Since early, the sanctuary had been emptied of most of its tenants, willing to support their comrades from other prefectures now that the refugees' situation had been slightly brought under control. Of the remaining apprentices, Kaoru was the highest ranked, therefore the only one who could decide to change their schedules in her favor.
"Correct your posture. Straighten your back, not so much" Kenshin kept giving orders, and Kaoru listened to him.
Fascinated to discover that all miko trained as warriors, Kenshin had become involved in the training of his most recent - if not the only - friend, and Kaoru, eager to learn the art of the sword, had succumbed without much protest. With the help of the boy who, although he did not teach her his own style, was in charge of correcting the katas of the Shinto school.
"First kata," he ordered.
Kaoru took the pose and began the dance.
"Too slow," Kenshin declared, and the next moment he launched himself to answer his partner's movements.
In less than two punches, Kaoru had ended up on the ground.
Her breathing was irregular; she was supported by her elbows, face to the ground, sweat dripping from her forehead wetting the wooden surface.
"Again," she asks.
The redhead shakes his head.
"It's been an hour."
"Again," she interrupts, this time looking at his partner squarely in the eye.
Kenshin fights back with his own gaze, but the determination in his partner's sapphires is far stronger and more alluring than his teachings on mastery of the body. So he ends up nodding.
"Okay, one last time."
And instantly he is blessed with his companion's smile. A smile that he has been getting used to in recent days, one for which he feels he would do more than one thing to get it.
Lately, he had discovered that saying 'No' to Kaoru was like saying 'please insist', and she insisted.
Kaoru settles back down. She repeats the kata, and once she finishes, she prepares to start again, this time ready to receive her partner.
Kenshin does not attack, he only receives and defends. Kaoru is hell-bent on attacking in the opening she was able to identify in the previous matchup.
"Don't get distracted," he orders.
But Kenshin is able to see through her and make his partner stumble. In the last turn, Kenshin puts one foot forward, Kaoru stumbles, and he takes the opportunity to hit her in the waist -which ends up making her fall to the ground.
"Mou, just when I finally thought I could hit you," she says with a pout while rubbing her lower back.
He hasn't actually hit her but gently thrown her to the ground, which makes her angry and happy at the same time.
"You were pretty close." He smiles at her and she doesn't know if he's being honest or not. "Although I had not seen that last position."
"It's my brother's creation," she informed him excitedly, accepting his hand to get up.
"Koishijiro?"
Kaoru nods, and Kenshin is able to see the loving feeling dance in her blue orbs.
"Mm, he will come by mid-winter, I know you will like to meet him. He is a good man."
"He must be if he's like you." He says honestly.
"Flattery will get you nowhere." She laughs.
Even if the time they have been together had been relatively short, both have shared it in the way that couples usually do - squeezing every last minute of the day - so it is a natural consequence that they have developed that camaraderie. The samurai may not have much of himself to share, but Kaoru makes up for his silence with her own story, and the experiences they have recently shared have helped to build bridges in their relationship.
Whether they decide to cross said bridges remains to be seen.
Kaoru shifts uncomfortably in her training hakama, but it's too early for a bath. "I'll go clean myself," she informs his partner who nods.
"I'll clean the room."
Kaoru chuckles to herself as she notices that Kenshin's ears are still turning red.
As one of the many things that Kenshin was unaware of, there was the purification rite. He had had to suffer the embarrassment of his ignorance two days after his arrival; when Kaoru had informed him that he could not follow her to her next rite. The boy had of course asked why not and she had replied that she would perform the purification on her body.
"I'm familiar with that", he had told her without really understanding what it was truly about "Shishou and I used to meditate under the waterfall."
Kaoru had rolled her eyes.
"It's not the same," she had told him forcefully, "this is a cold water bath."
He had blinked, still confused and somewhat irritated.
"What is the difference? The waterfall water was also cold."
Yumi had deigned to intervene then, to the relief of her partner, who didn't want to have to be explicit in her explanation, no matter how young she was.
"The difference, Kenshin kun, is that Kaoru dono won't be wearing anything but a short, thin white yukata when the cold water falls on her, absolutely nothing else."
Needless to say, the boy had turned a thousand colors.
"I – uh – sorry – I mean… I'll see if I can help out in the kitchen."
How was it that having lived in Japan - and being Japanese, too - he was ignorant of the oldest traditions? Kaoru had wondered, although she supposed it must be his mixed blood, the girl remained firm in her conviction that that red hair -unless he was an oni- was a mark of his foreign parentage.
…
Kaoru had just finished purifying herself when she heard cries for help coming from the compound.
"Help! Someone - please - help!"
Kaoru hurried to dress in a simple yukata.
"What happened?" She asked as soon as she entered the main room.
Several chokkais and two of their fellow apprentices were present along with Kenshin, and there was a boy in the center, close to her age -she guessed at least-, his face pale with anguish.
"Kaoru dono, apparently a small entourage is coming, a woman is about to give birth and the sanctuary is the closest place" Kago informed.
The boy jumped still upset.
"My aunt needs help, my sister is with her!"
She was the highest ranked in Yumi's absence, Kaoru reminded herself as she noticed everyone's gazes on her. Internally frightened, she regretted that this meeting took place right during the pilgrimage time. But she calmed down the next moment, ashamed of that hint of weakness.
She had chosen this path.
"Kago, go find Master Takani as fast as you can," she ordered, and the rest of the words flowed one after the other.
For this, she had trained and it was not the first time that she had to witness a birth. Although she had not attended any as such, she was not ignorant of the basics.
"Yuta, prepare the room near the well, have two chokkais help you."
At his orders, time ran again at the rate his companions did as she ordered. She then turned to her companions "Hikari, Fuu, heat a pot of water, and prepare something for the woman to eat to gather strength, something light. Bring water to drink too."
"Kenshin, take the gosenkai (assistant administrator) with you" She said, and then she remembered the boy "Please guide him in the direction of your familiar so he can help you bring it -the boy looked at her with big eyes full of tears, they were almost the same height -, and don't worry, -she assured him with a smile "everything will be fine."
The room empties and the miko apprentice lets out the breath she had unknowingly been holding. Her hands are shaking, but she makes sure that everything will be fine. Labor usually lasts a long time, so she is convinced that she will not have to do much more than provide relief to the woman who is about to give birth.
…
She is not sure exactly how much time has passed -although she is sure that it has been very little- when Kenshin returns in the company of the gosenkai with the pregnant woman held by both of them; the boy and another young woman follow behind them.
"This way please" Informs Yuta, one of the chokkais.
They have just crossed the engawa when water falls to the ground from between the woman's skirts; the entourage suddenly stands still, surprised to see the puddle fall on the wood.
"My water just broke," the latter reports, and the effort it takes to speak is noticeable.
"Kaoru dono" It's Kenshin's voice that takes her out of the state of perplexity into which she had plunged.
Take a deep breath, she tells herself; she follows her own advice and then manages to control herself.
"Hurry, put her on the tatami. Hikari, bring clean towels; Fuu, is the water ready?"
The movement is reactivated, hands to work, and everyone reacts.
Kenshin can't help but look at Kaoru in admiration, it's a kind of strength he hadn't witnessed before and he is completely moved.
"Please lie down," asks the gosenkai, the others attend.
Kago then walks into the room and Kaoru smiles before she knows what she does.
"Master Takani is on his way," she informs.
But before the gesture of concern that the chokkai makes, the black-haired realizes that something is wrong.
"What's going on?" She asks. Kago shakes his head.
Kaoru looks down and bets again with the options in her head. At the end, she turns to the young woman who is still at the entrance hugging her brother.
"Your name," she asks.
The aforementioned blinks in surprise to suddenly see the child, because it is a child, she realizes, just a few centimeters shorter than her.
"Tomoe, Yukishiro Tomoe." She answers.
"Tomoe" Kaoru nods and then leads her to where the woman is, "hold her, I'll be right back" The girl does as she is told, and Enishi sits behind her.
Kaoru wastes no time and advances to Kago, going out into the hallway.
"What the hell is going on?"
"Master Takani is in the village, but the access back to the sanctuary is lined with ronins."
Kaoru curses. Even if labor usually lasts for hours and she is sure this particular one is just beginning, she needs the doctor, she can't do this by herself, everyone in the sanctuary at that time is an apprentice.
Those damned ronin, she curses, and that's when she glimpses the answer.
"Kenshin." She calls him hurriedly, and he goes to her instantly. "I need your help."
…
The boy practically flies towards the village. He has made sure to take a horse on his way out of the shrine grounds, but when he enters the village he goes on foot again.
Following Kago's instructions, Kenshin locates the shack where the doctor gives consultations to farmers who lack income. He doesn't stop with explanations, as soon as he locates the man he tells him that there is an emergency in the sanctuary and that he will explain to him on the way. They both leave through the pass through which the samurai managed to avoid crossing with the ronin.
The rest of the way, the boy is in charge of explaining the details, and once they reach the base of the sanctuary, the long climb begins. Fortunately for him, Master Takani is a fit man. He barely needs a brief moment to catch his breath at the entrance of the Tori.
Kenshin guides him to the room where the woman rests -hoping to be on time-, but when he opens the doors of the shoji, astonishment leaves him rooted to the ground.
"Kaoru dono…!"
Kaoru is there, with a baby bathed in blood in her hands and her face filled with the purest terror; the infant cries vehemently. There is a bloody sack on the floor that looks like a bag -made of veins and flesh-; the rest of those present are divided between those who help clean up, those who wonder what to do, and those who prefer not to be in the way.
"What am I supposed to do?" mutters the miko's apprentice in a whisper that has notes of being a sob, as soon as she sees master Takani.
The man smiled as he approached her.
"You're doing everything perfectly." He assures her with a satisfied smile, there is a hint of pride in his eyes "Why are you crying, Kaoru dono? You have done an excellent job, you delivered a baby all by yourself, you didn't even need me to do it." He assures her, and then, after washing his hands, he takes a towel and removes the baby from the apprentice's hands. "Now, if you allow me to continue from here."
"Sure, of course," she nods, handing him the baby.
The doctor begins to give new instructions. But Kenshin is unable to listen or look at anyone other than Kaoru, who hasn't stopped looking at her hands.
"Kaoru dono?"
His voice manages to get her out of her stupor, although she doesn't notice the tone of concern in the boy's voice.
"I'll go get cleaned up," she says, but still doesn't move.
"Make sure you drink tea for the impression." The doctor advises, still smiling while cutting and tying the umbilical cord. The chokkais have already taken the placenta. "It's a pity that kamisama has already chosen you, you would certainly have made a good doctor." He assures.
A lump rises in Kaoru's throat, and the man notices it.
"Himura kun" he calls, there is a silent order, despite not saying anything else and not even looking at him.
Kenshin understands.
"Hai" He nods, approaching the girl. "Come on."
And delicately placing a hand on the back of his companion, he guides her out of the room towards the patio where the water well is located.
Kaoru allows herself to be led, leaving the commotion of the room where she received a life at her hands. Her hands are shaking, and she balls them into fists on her chest, in a vain attempt to control herself. Kenshin goes right next to her. The hand with which he guides her down her back barely brushes the fabric of her partner's yukata, but Kaoru feels the touch like a whisper of electricity that keeps her fixed to the ground.
Kaoru stops in front of the well and clings to it, squeezing the rocky edge with both hands, not letting go until her partner brings the bucket full of water to her. After a moment of hesitation, the young woman washes her hands.
"Kaoru dono?" Kenshin looks at her worriedly.
He has a lot of words stuck in his chest. So much that he wants to tell her; so much that he wants to praise her. Because what he's done is to be commended, barely ending winter and turning eleven a few months ago, and has far more grit and determination than many adults Kenshin has known.
He is thinking about all this when suddenly, the girl takes the bucket full of water and pours it over herself.
"Kaoru dono!?" The girl drops the bucket on the ground, which bounces with a thud and rolls a few steps away from her. She's drenched from head to toe. "Are you well?"
"Mm" She nods and turns to go back inside the sanctuary. "It will be better to return, ah!"
Kenshin is there to support her as soon as her partner's legs have given way.
"I got you," he assures, holding her both by the shoulders and by the waist.
"I'm sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me…" She murmurs, her voice and body trembles "…my legs don't react." She sobs.
"I'll take you to your room."
He prepares to carry her, but she stops him.
"No, just give me a moment."
"You're shaking," he says, raising his voice with obvious concern.
"I know…" he whispers and covers his face with his hands.
"Kaoru.."
"Don't let them see me…" She asks in a choked voice.
"Hai"
The redhead understands where that prayer comes from. Kaoru is a proud girl. She has managed to hold her own up to that point, and she doesn't want to waver now; letting others see her is a heavy blow to her. She is supposed to be the highest ranking in the absence of the maekai. She can't afford to look weak.
And Kenshin decides that he can grant her that wish after all the bravery she has shown that morning. He slips between the corridors of the patio and the gardens, and manages to let her safe and sound in her room without anyone else noticing.
…
Hikari and Fuu -her fellow apprentices- have taken it upon themselves to dominate the situation then, with the support of master Takani as well, allowing Kaoru to rest while Kenshin keeps her company. The Yukishiro family has been notified, and it is expected that in the afternoon they can return to their home in the center of Kyoto.
Kaoru smiles when she wakes up from her nap and sees that Kenshin is now sleeping near the bedroom window, right on the step of the frame that serves as a bench; he has his sword in his hands, resting on his right shoulder. The apprentice's room, having been blessed with the gift of vision, has an anteroom that is larger -the area in which she receives visitors-, it is this room that is connected to the corridor of the building of bedrooms.
Then the doors are ajar, so she can hear the soft knocks on the shoji wood in the hallway.
"Como in," she says, trying not to raise her voice so that she doesn't wake Kenshin.
"Kaoru dono" It is Koga who speaks to her, "Yukishiro san wishes to speak with you."
Assuming that the new mother still does not have the strength to go look for her in her rooms, the apprentice guesses that it must be the young woman who accompanied her. Giving Kenshin one last look, and after verifying that he is still asleep, Kaoru leaves her private room, sliding the doors closed; and settles into one of the cushions in his anteroom -right in the entrance area-.
"Let her in," she orders, when she has settled and is ready to receive the visitor. Mentally thanking for having changed into an iromuji (one color kimono) before falling asleep from exhaustion after the experience of childbirth.
The shoji door slides open, Kago making room for the guest to pass through and take the traditional curtsy.
"It's an honor to meet you, Kaoru dono."
The girl can't help but blush at the image of the young woman in front of her. "She's very pretty," she tells herself as she answers the greeting. She asks the chokkai for a tea service, and the boy leaves, closing the shoji at his departure.
"I wanted to thank you for your help." Says Tomoe, humble and shy.
"There is nothing to be thankful for; we did what anyone would have done. It was lucky that the sanctuary was near."
The smile the apprentice gives her manages to calm the black-haired woman's nerves.
"Actually, we were on our way here," she reports.
"Early new year prayers?" Kaoru questions smiling.
"No, not really." Tomoe denies smiling as well. "I wanted to meet you." She confesses surprising her partner. "After all, Kaoru dono was the one who blessed my wish."
"Maybe, Akira san's fiancée?"
"Hai." She affirms, so happy that she lets go of the familiarity with which the girl has referred to her fiancé. "So as you can see, I have a lot to thank you for. My aunt has also asked me to intercede for her before you."
"oh?"
"She wants her baby to receive your blessing."
Kaoru's heart dances in her chest.
"It will be an honor." She answers, "however, I am still an apprentice. Yumi sama will return today at sunset. I am sure that she will bless her baby and allow me to assist her."
"I appreciate it."
The tea arrives then, Kago is in charge of serving and filling the cups before retiring and leaving the tray on the small table opposite where the miko apprentice sits. The young women chat a bit more about courtesy topics. But no one, especially the girl, has stopped smiling.
Kaoru can still feel the life she received in her hands. How something so small brimmed with life and conveyed hope. She had been so scared…! And at the same time so moved. Asking for a blessing directly, represents requesting sponsorship of the infant. The girl is full of joy.
And it is perhaps because of this that she ends up making something that she had promised not to do again some time ago.
"How about one last gift?"
Tomoe blinks in surprise, the girl is smart and is also educated in what tradition dictates, so she understands the meaning of what the apprentice offers her.
"Is not too much?" She asks, not daring to accept immediately for the risk of seeming rude.
But Kaoru doesn't stop smiling.
"Not at all, I feel like we could even be friends."
And she means it. In his blue eyes, Tomoe finds nothing but sincerity.
"I'd like that," she smiles.
"Give me your hands."
The girl does as she asks. Sitting facing each other, the difference in height is not that noticeable. Tomoe's heart has a vibration similar to Kaoru's, the latter realizes, and holds her partner's hands, closing them between the edge of the hand and the wrist.
It's just a second - her body bends forward.
Only one.
"Kaoru dono!"
But for the miko apprentice it feels like she's been suffering from excruciating chest pain for years—she's barely breathing.
"Kaoru dono, are you alright?!"
She has to let go of her partner's hands, but she can't…! The air barely reaches her chest.
"Kaoru dono!"
It is Kenshin who manages to separate her. Tomoe is barely aware that she has been thrown to the ground, away from the apprentice priestess.
"Kaoru…!" The boy holds her in his arms; there is a tenderness in the way he touches her.
The girl clings to her partner's arms, her body shaking in tremors as she tries to catch her breath in several gasps. Hurried footsteps are heard down the hall, Kago -accompanied by Hikari- arrive just as Kenshin is about to take Kaoru in his arms, but she pulls him by the shoulders in a silent prayer that he stops for a moment.
"Kaoru dono, what happened?" Hikari asks, still in the hallway.
The aforementioned takes a moment to be able to answer without so much effort.
"I'm sorry," she says. "It seems that I did not measure the fatigue of my body" Her smile does not reach her eyes, "I am exhausted..."
Tomoe then reacts, her face pale and her heart contrite.
"I will retire to let you rest, what can I do to support you?"
Kaoru shakes her head slightly, Kenshin tightens his grip on her -pulling the cloth-, urging her with said gesture to go; he doesn't need to explain. But she ignores him, of course.
"Stay close to your family" She tells the young woman "they need you."
"Hikari, Kago" Kenshin calls them over his shoulder, without really turning to see them, his attention is fixed on the girl in his arms- "Escort the guest back to the room."
"Hai," they both agree.
"This humble being is grateful to you." Says Tomoe with a final bow.
"Sorry," Kaoru murmurs, drawing attention again, her face hidden in her partner's chest, "Sorry I couldn't give you a vision."
Tomoe shows smiles, moved and sad.
"No, you have given me more than enough."
"Kago," Kenshin insists again, his voice a different baritone, almost fierce.
The chokkai steps forward to guide Tomoe out of the room. The latter can't help but look back as she leaves. There are many emotions that dance in her chest -sadness, fear, grief, curiosity-... it is hard to believe that that apprentice is barely two years older than her little brother; and even more difficult to discover that boy - whose face remained hidden - come to her rescue from inside the main room.
They both made an eye-catching picture for all the wrong reasons. And she didn't know why that disturbed her.
…
Kenshin wastes no time and takes Kaoru again -just like that morning- in his arms, straight to the private room; the girl is trembling, clutching the fabric of the iromuji at chest level. The boy laid her on the futon, but she continued to put the weight of her body on him.
"Are you well?" He questions worried, a part of him is trembling with fear.
Yumi had already warned him before.
"Kenshin kun, do you know what happens to Kaoru dono when she receives a vision?"
Kaoru weakly shakes her head, her face pale and her breathing hard.
"There is pain. Pain and a feeling of pure fear."
"What can I do to help you?" He asks worried.
"We are supposed to leave her alone. The anteroom of her room is not for outside visitors but for her body to make contact with whatever kami (god or divine spirit) has blessed her. And all kamis are jealous ."
"I need you to..." Kaoru speaks between gasps, and her hands hold Kenshin's shoulders again, the boy remains firm holding her by the elbows. "...do me a favor... a selfish favor."
"But you know, Kenshin kun. I haven't been able to leave her alone. I can't hold her. It's not right, but I accompany her during her torment. The tables have told me that a bad omen is coming."
"Is it a vision?" He questions her, knowing the answer.
"If a vision comes in my absence... I know that she should not have company, much less a man..."
Kaoru, unable to form complete sentences, nods in agreement.
He tightens his grip on her clothes, wherever he touches her.
"But please-it will be our secret-stay with her."
And he would have said yes from the start, but a part of him doesn't want to sully her.
"Shouldn't you be alone?" He questions, the heat has left his body.
His partner breaks down in tears.
"Onegai! (please)" She begs.
And Kenshin's heart breaks.
"What do you need me to do?"
"Just…"
Kaoru's hands cling tightly to the fabric of his haori. She makes an effort to sit up high enough so that she can look him in the eye. There's a plea in the way she tightens her grip and then releases it, over and over again.
They don't need words, it's been weeks since they crossed that bridge.
Kenshin leans towards her.
"I understand," he whispers in her ear, and envelops her in a hug.
Kaoru clings to Kenshin for dear life. The tears slide down her cheeks; her body molds to him as if she wanted to melt into him. The desperation is such that he has infected his partner. Kenshin clings to her with the same vehemence, willing to hold her even beyond the end of the vision...
…
It is a white canvas.
And Kaoru runs through the snow.
There are echoes and screams of voices... Voices that rise above others... voices that in laments and screams are equally extinguished.
The air and the snow burn her skin. Her flesh burns where it has been wounded. And Kaoru knows that she is not herself...
The katana pierces her, a lash of fire that splits her flesh where it touches her... From her right shoulder to the small of her left back.
The blood spurts...
The snow is dyed red.
There is a brief moment in which everything is silent.
Her eyes open, not without effort. A man's face is drawn in front of her... There are ghosts and tears decorating it.
Kaoru no longer feels pain, not physical at least, she is barely able to feel, but...
She must close that wound, she said.
She must end what she came to do, with his revenge... Although not because she hates him, but because she loves him...
This is fine, she tells herself, once she makes the cut.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know how to love you… I wish, that you find someone who can love you fully."
Then, there's only darkness.
…
Kaoru's body relaxes in Kenshin's arms. She has fallen unconscious and has a slight fever. The boy remembers Yumi's words, and dedicates himself to procuring and caring for the young woman as the miko indicated.
Yumi returns at sunset, she is informed of the situation by Kago, who is the one who is more accustomed to such an event due to his closeness with the miko. The brunette does not enter the room that night, and instead gives the instruction that no one should approach it until Kaoru herself consents.
Kenshin doesn't part from her. He barely sleeps. Dozing between tiredness and worry.
Late in the morning, sleep overcomes him...
He dreams of cherry trees and fireflies by the river on a summer night...
In his dreams, a voice similar to his own repeats the same mantra over and over again.
"If there's anyone who deserves a wish like that, it's definitely her."
A/N: I need a beta...