A/N : A/N: I do not own Anakin, Padmé or other characters, all rights reserved by Lucasfilm.
I write the stories just for fun and for free.
Why so much Sex…well, we didn't get enough from George Lukas ;-)

Thanks for the comments also to the guest, I can't reply to.

IN THE EYE OF THE STORM

Chapter 10

Nobody was overjoyed when Satine returned with the news. It was obvious that Padmé couldn't be contacted just now and that doing so probably wouldn't be in her best interests. She has to go through appropriate therapy first, process everything under medical guidance and supervision, find herself and heal.

They shouldn't act for the next few weeks, according to Dormé, but she will immediately get in touch with Padmé's parents because they were close to her and they shouldn't give the appearance that they don't care what happened.

Ben frequently checked on Anakin since he was worried that his condition hadn't changed after three days. The bed wasn't made, he didn't get out of bed, and he just drank whiskey. Anakin was still wearing the same outfit he had on for the party. His mother called him, but he didn't answer.

"Anakin, your mother called, and she's worried because you didn't answer."

"I'll give her a call."

"You told me that yesterday, right?"

"I'll do it, I swear."

"Get up and take a shower… please."

Ben left with an intention of returning later that day. To dispose of, he gathered all the food he had taken with him during the previous three days. Untouched and now , it was inedible.

"Ben, thank you."

Since Anakin hadn't eaten in three days, it's hardly surprising that his blood sugar level was low. His mind was empty, and this absence wasn't silent, it was deafening. He was unable to think any more. He was at his breaking point. The CD player was in a little case, which Anakin reached out and took off the desk. He took out the headset and put it in his ears. He grabbed a random CD and turned it on.

You never know how good you have it, oh-oh
Until you're staring at a picture of the only girl that matters, ah
I know what we're supposed to do
It's hard for me to let go of you
So I'm just tryna hold on
hold on
I don't wanna know what it's like when you're gone
I don't wanna move on
I don't wanna know what it's like when you're gone for good
You're slipping through my fingertips
A little bit by a little bit
I didn't know that loving you was the happiest I've ever been
So I'm just tryna hold on
…
…

...and just the right one, a break up song...

He thought that other people also go through the pain of separation, have trouble taking in it, let go, and move on, but he didn't want that—it wasn't yet lost, was it? He reeled it in and played it over and over again.

Ben nearly freaked out that evening when he arrived and saw Anakin still sleeping on the bed, but he had to be careful because of Anakin's condition.

"Anakin, get up and take a shower, please. You'll eat the food I brought after I make the bed. Have you spoken to your mother?"

"Yes." From the bathroom, Anakin answered.

"What did you say to her?"

"I told her I was in bed because I had a cold,"

"Why are you telling lies to your mother?"

"And what should I tell her?..that I've lost Padmé...forever, that she intended to jump into the Hudson River because of me?"

"So Anakin, I won't go until you've got eaten some of the food I brought. Here, take."

He gave him a package of rice and sweet-sour chicken from China. Anakin grabbed a small portion of it and pushed it aside. Ben repelled it.

"Do it once more."

Anakin did as he was told, grabbing three more pieces to finally push it away.

"Anakin, you must pick up your training again."

It was the same with everything Ben told him; he always said, Yes, I'll do it, but he never followed through. Ben wondered how long that condition would take.

"Oh, I see you're listening to music. Is that jazz?"

"Shawn Mendes, *When you're gone*"

"Exactly the right one. Anakin, that only makes things worse."

"Do you believe it may become worse?"

"If you can't get yourself together, yes."

"You are right."

And so it went on and on. Anakin wasn't himself, powerless, impassive, willless... like dead and he was it, emotionally.

His friends called, he didn't answer. Everyone knew he was going through a tremendous crisis, but they didn't know how serious it was.

When Ben left, he got into bed, put the CD in a player, headset in his ears and...

You never know how good you have it, oh-oh…..

No, he was not aware of this happiness. He had her and everything seemed so natural, she was always there, next to him, belonged to him and he was happy, but now….

Until you're staring at a picture of the only girl that matters, ah

He turned and took a look at the picture of himself and Padmé. They are seen smiling and holding hands, and he is standing behind with his arms around her and now...

I know what we're supposed to do

Yes, they need to give themselves some time to process the tragedy, but it still feels so new and is so painful without her.

It's hard for me to let go of you

He felt it extremely difficult to let go and held to what was no longer there.

So I'm just tryna hold on

Really trying, not really, it hurts so much, emotionally and physically. He was done with both of them.

hold on
I don't wanna know what it's like when you're gone
I don't wanna move on

Endure... how? He didn't want to know what it would be like if she were truly gone, and he didn't want to go on, to forget her, or have to live without her.

I don't wanna know what it's like when you're gone for good

To know what it's like when she's gone forever...impossible, unthinkable...

You're slipping through my fingertips
A little bit by a little bit

Even after a few days, he was still unable to realize what happened that she had been considering suicide. Without anything to hold onto to help him make sense of the situation, everything slid through his fingers one small detail at a time.

I didn't know that loving you was the happiest I've ever been
So I'm just tryna hold on

Only now has he realized how happy he was when he held her in his arms. Being without her is like not having the warmth and scent of her body, the softness of her skin, her touch, or the voice that tells him of her love in the most intimate moments. Trying to hold on...

I need to learn how to cope without you
I'm tryna protect myself but only you know how to, yeah

How could he learn to live without her when he refused to protect himself from what he wanted to do to himself. Only she could.

Oh, I know what we're supposed to do
Oh, but I hate the thought of losing you
So, I'm just trying to hold on

Knowing what to do and wanting it, were not the same things, trying to persevere, certainly not...he couldn't.

hold on
I don't wanna know what it's like when you're gone
I don't wanna move on
I don't wanna know what it's like when you're gone for good

Holding on….he really didn't want to know what it would be like without her, if he lost her forever and life went on…..an unimaginable, unbearable agony.

Starting to feel like you don't need me
Wanna believe it's all for the better

Should he start thinking that she doesn't need him anymore? No, she definitely needed him, but they don't allow him see her...he could explain everything ...but perhaps that's for the best.

It's getting real, I'm missing you deeply
So I'm just tryna hold on

It's becoming clear, she's gone...yes, to heal from what he did to her, from what he doesn't know what it is. He badly missed her. He only needs to keep trying; one day, all will become clear. How?

He rewound and listened to the song over and over again, the same thoughts spinning in his head, he was stuck, it was driving him insane.

Ben brought Annakin's favorite coffee and pastries on Saturday morning.

"Your favorite breakfast is here, see."

When Anakin saw the croissants, he immediately began to cry because he recalled having coffee with Padme and sharing pieces of croissant with her. He was a bunch of misery.

"Anakin, it's been a week now, get out of bed and move on." Ben took CD player lying on the desk. "What do you have here... the same CD? Anakin, this CD has no more grooves."

"Ben, would you buy the new one for me...please...?"

So, Ben now realized it wasn't shock and grief anymore, it was full blown deep depression. It was clear that he needed to take action.

"I'll be back soon, just a moment."

After leaving Anakin's apartment, he went to get his iPhone and called his mother.

"Good morning, Mrs. Lars, this is Ben Kenobi, would you please come to see Anakin, he doesn't feel good."

"I'll be there."

Anakin said he had a cold when she hadn't asked what it was. She believed that his condition had become worse, but she had no idea that she was going to hear a terrible story.

….

Best regards from Germany and thank you for reading.

Although this song was released in early 2022, it so perfectly suits the story that I was unable to resist -)

Song : Shawn Mendes "When You're Gone"
 watch?v=tp4fUH2E8uc&list=RDtp4fUH2E8uc&start_radio=1