I am so sorry all the updates are running late (again) but I had some big technical issues which caused the delay.

I will try to do better this year!

Disclaimer: I don't own BSG

Disclaimer 2: I am personally not a fan of fur coats and that industry in general but guys this is 1803!

December 1803

Christmas Eve

Theoretically Laura knew that Christmas time was meant to be a time of joy and celebrations, of parties and amusement. Sure, she had been to enough dinners and soirees lately, she felt as if she knew each and every person of the London society worth knowing (which might actually be true). Additionally, she had made the most out of the gatherings strategically, strengthening connections and building new ones. Yes, one might say she was in her prime. Whether people liked her or not, whether people admitted it or not, she was the most influential lady in London. Maybe not by station (after all she was not a "lady" by birth or marriage) but definitely by a combination of connection, fortune and intelligence.

However today she only felt melancholic, a deep profound sadness that she couldn't shake off. This was again one of the days when the house felt too big, when her thoughts were too loud, as if they were trying to suffocate her. Instead of the candles she saw the shadows on the walls and in her life. Most of them were self-made.

Of course it would have been possible to spend time with Isabelle, but that would already be the case on Christmas Day and she didn't want to intrude too much. After all, the Agathons were still their own family. So instead, Laura decided to go for a walk, to flee Roslin House and get some air.

"Where woulI you like to go Ma'am?" asked Mr Gaeta from his seat up on the carriage as she made her way over to enter.

"Surprise me!" she called out, probably sounding more exasperated than the poor man deserved. The whole day was already grating on her nerves.

Maya got in after her, politely bowing her head when her mistress acknowledged her with a small smile. Up they went, towards no-idea-where. It was cold in the carriage and Laura was grateful for the piles of blankets they could hide under. She just wished she had checked that the men outside on the carriage were alright as well! It must have fled her mind earlier. Nobody spoke, after the years together, her maid knew when not to disturb her and Laura was happy about the silence, only broken by the sound of the wheels on the uneven ground. She didn't even look outside but kept her eyes closed, trying to blend everything out. After about half an hour, they came to a stop.

"Where are we Ma'am?" Maya asked confused.

"I have absolutely no idea," was the only answer she got.

Laura opened her eyes and then pulled aside the curtains of the carriage. They had apparently stopped on a wide field that was covered with frost, like white stardust that had been shaken down from the heavens. A servant opened the door and held out a hand to help his lady outside. As soon as Laura felt the grass crunch beneath her feet she was happy she had forgone her slippers for more practical boots - getting ill now would be most unfortunate. Laura put on her hat, made of dark green wool and matching the coat. On the first look, the outfit seemed rather simple, because other than the golden patterns on the sleeves and on the collar, there weren't any adornments. On the second look however one would see how expensive the wool had been and how much love had gone into designing the details. She didn't need something flashy all the time. For showing of her wealth she had another outfit at home, an expensive blue thing with a white meerkat trimming.

"Ma'am, there are some nice paths around here you could walk, possibly to a little grove or to a lake. If you would wish I will accompany you," Felix Gaeta offered.

"No thank you, Maya and I will go alone," Laura decided, "but if you would point us into the right direction for going to the lake, that would be wonderful."

Ignoring the critical looks of her servants, he started to follow the path they had recommended, Maya on her heels. The ground was mostly even but partly slippery from the frost so the women had to pay attention to where they were setting their feet. It was quiet here, quiet besides the chirping of some angry blackbirds, fighting over something eatable. This serene calm reminded her of Hertfordshire, of home. Maybe she should spend the next Christmas there, a lot of people passed the holidays on their properties in the countryside. But Caprica Manor would probably feel even more empty and there was less distraction than in town. So whether leaving London at that time was really a good idea was questionable.

Finally they arrived at the lake, rather a pond actually, quite nicely situated with two willow trees partly hanging over it, looking sad without leaves, only skeletal hands left. But at least they are two, Laura thought to herself. A lonely willow would be even sadder.

The way back to the carriage and to the City went by without anything out of the ordinary happening. Even in her downcast mood Laura realized that Maya didn't look happy either - probably thinking about her own family. Or rather lack thereof. From what little the woman had told her, she had no siblings and her parents had died years ago in a fever. The Roslin household was her family now in a way, and therefore she had never requested leave to see some relation or other. Even though this was definitely an advantage for herself, Laura would have wished for Maya not be without parents and siblings. She knew from own experience how hard this was.

In the house, she chose the Jule Log that should be burned from the next day on. Not that sh believed in the protecting function, but she was a strong supporter of custom. Some things shouldn't get lost, no matter how times changed.

Random Regency fact: The Jule Log was chosen on Christmas Eve and then burned over the holidays, the fire supposed to keep the house from harm. It was custom to choose the log from the rests of the former year's log.

Thank you for reading!

Up next: Christmas Day and everything that comes with it for Bill and Laura.