Hey everyone! Chapter 3 is now live! Posted much sooner than expected, I just flew through writing this one and was super excited to get it out to y'all. This is gonna be a slow burn fic, so be prepared hehe. Anyway, I don't have much of a note to say at the moment besides thank you for the reviews and follows! Hope you enjoy!

I can feel Caroline's eyes burn into the back of my head as I slowly rise from the seat beside Ric at the table, reminding me my best friend is still mad and I'm still on the clock. I nod quickly at Damon who has a tight smile plastered on his face and make my back towards Tyler at the bar. I weave through the thick crowd forming around the bar in the center of the restaurant, having to slightly shove the already drunk males aside to get to the servers' end. Tyler sees me pop up through the sea of underclassmen and ignores the gawks of women and endless calls of "Dude!" for his attention, bee lining straight for me.

"What's up, Gilbert?" Tyler slaps his damp towel over his shoulder, a small grin forming on his mouth, trying to play the part of casual TV bartender well, but this isn't TV and the growing crowd of college students is far from casual. This Friday night rush is nothing we haven't handle before but the growing feeling of butterflies in my stomach is making everything seem like twice the work.

Get it together Elena!

"I need a sealed bottle of Makers Mark and two glasses."

"Ha, yeah, okay. If you want to do shots come by later when this," he gestures towards the crowd around his bar, "is gone." He begins to walk back towards a group of his buddies from Whitmore's football team before I reach out and wrap my fingers around his wrist.

"Ty, I'm serious. My table ordered it." I meet his chocolate brown eyes with mine, still holding onto his wrist before realizing how awkward this exchange is beginning to feel and drop my grip. He sighs softly before turning away from me and I begin to think he doesn't believe my tables order before I see him reaching for a sealed, unmarked box under one corner of the bar. Out comes a shiny new bottle of Makers Mark, the amber colored liquor glistens in the poorly lit facility, sloshing around in the distinctively square bottle as Tyler closes the box and slides it back under the bar.

"Your table really ordered this?" He squints at me as, trying to figure out if this bottle and two glasses are actually for a table I'm serving and not for Caroline and me. I nod meekly at him and reach for the bottle and scotch glasses before Tyler's hand encompasses mine. "Which table?"

I groan internally, growing impatient with Tyler. From the 3 years I've known him, he's always been very protective of Caroline and I, which I appreciate but sometimes is just too much. For someone who's only a year older than me, you would think I'm Tyler's baby sister; emphasis on baby.

"Table 32." I jerk my head back towards the far-left corner and his eyes follow my gesture. His eyes light up when he recognizes Ric, the tension released from his shoulders.

"Why didn't you tell me the old man was here?!" I roll my eyes at his question and pick up the bourbon and glasses, ready to drop them off at their table and move on with my night. While Ric has met Tyler several times and knows he is in our friend group, he thinks we all met at a Whitmore game. He doesn't know that Caroline, Bonnie and I only met Tyler from our drunken job application turned 3-year long career.

"You know why I didn't, Ty." I mumble.

With the bottle in one hand and glasses in the other, I begin my slow walk back towards their corner booth. I go through more possible scenarios in my head and so desperately wish Professor Salvatore wasn't here for the questions Ric is bound to ask if I stay at their table long enough.

So, that's it. Just drop off the bottle and go to your other tables. That's all you have to do, Elena. You have other days to have this conversation with Alaric.

I'm pulled from my thoughts when I feel someone tap my shoulder, being just feet away from Ric's table I'm ready to let whatever customer know I will be able to serve them in a moment when I spin around to be met with blue eyes. These aren't the blue eyes I've come to know all month in class though—the ones that send shivers down my spine with just a look—these are more dull and tired, you could get lost in them trying to figure out how ones' eyes could be a never-ending pool of sadness.

"Hey, Lena." I blink, slowly focusing my vision on the face in front of me, from the laugh lines around the corners of his eyes to the soft, half-smile saying my name.

"Matt…" I softly say, finally making eye contact with my former boyfriend.

Matt Donovan, childhood crush turned potential love of my life when we decided to take our friendship to the next level roughly 3 years ago before the start of my Sophomore year at the University of Virginia. The relationship faltered from the honeymoon phase quickly for me, I realized our relationship could and would never be more than what it was growing up, but with so many around us in serious relationships and feeling obligated to see if maybe he could grow into being "the one" I didn't end the relationship until Halloween of my senior year at U of V.

Matty and I dated for almost 4 years and almost moved in together, and maybe if we hadn't had that fight on Halloween at Tyler's party we would still be together. Bonnie used to say I was settling, and she was probably right but in times like this when I see him standing sheepishly in front of me, I'm reminded of the innocent crush I had and wonder if we should give it another try. Flickers of that dreadful Halloween party play in my mind as I stare into his light blue eyes.

Music thumps through the 3rd floor apartment walls, filling each room with a mixture of EDM and chatter. Halloween decorations litter the spacious loft, bats hang from the ceiling, bloody handprints and smears line the hallway and doors making it look like a crime scene. Strobe lights are set up in the corners of the living room, making the packed apartment not feel as tight. Alcohol is sloshing out of cups from passersby and dancing couples, everyone enjoying themselves and the holiday, dressed up in arrays of sexy prisoners and playboy bunnies to witches and football players; everyone but myself is having fun as I stand in Tyler's bedroom with Matt having our 2nd argument of the day. Hello by the True Star is currently blasting over the speakers and I would love to be with Caroline and Bonnie dancing the night away, but the music is drowned away by Matt's voice cutting through me like glass.

"You know what Elena..." He shouts across the room, his fists unclenching at his side.

"What Matt! What could possibly be bothering you now?!" I yell over him, but my shout goes unnoticed as he continues his thought, never making eye contact with me.

"I feel like you aren't in this as much as I am. I feel like you don't listen to me, listen to what I want to do- "

"OH, what so this is about the fight earlier because you didn't want to come to this party? Well you know what Matt- "

"No, Elena! This isn't about not wanting to come tonight! This is about me never getting to do anything I want, about you always getting to call the shots. You never want to have a serious conversation, you don't seem to want to move forward with us, it's like- "

He's still yelling, in fact I'm almost afraid of it being heard over the music. Matt and I have fought before but never to this extent and I'm starting to realize just how close to the breaking point he is. I don't know when I realized we would never work but I know now that I can't keep dragging him along for the Elena Gilbert ride; I have to end things with him, he deserves better.

"—it's like you're still stuck in the beginning of our relationship, like you're still 19 and carefree…and, and I love that and I love you but- " his voice softens and he's staring at me through the mirror, the desperation in his eyes is evident, he knows I won't change but he doesn't want to give me up; not yet at least.

"Sometimes I'd just wish you'd put the same energy into this-"

"Matt, I think we should take a break." My voice cracks as I say over him, not being able to hear any more of this speech. This speech that I've heard endlessly from Caroline who believes Matt and I are soulmates destined to get married and be together forever. Tears pool in my eyes and in my heart, I know this is the right thing to do but the pain in his eyes is telling me to take it all back. The music is still thumping and Taylor Swift's I Knew You Were Trouble is wafting up the stairs, but the silence between us has never been so loud, it's deafening.

"Matty…please say something…" I move towards him and reach for his hand as tears flow freely from my eyes, blurring my vision and surely causing the glue on the false lashes Care put on to come undone. He jerks his arm away from me and begins to walk towards the bedroom door.

"Matt!"

"Whatever." He mumbles as he swings the door open, the stethoscope hanging around his neck swinging rapidly as he rushes through the doorway and down the stairs of the party. I follow him out to the banister of the stairs, calling out for him but he never once turns around. I try to tell myself it's because of how loud the music is but deep down I know it's because I broke his heart. I watch as his matching blue doctors' scrubs covered in fake blood make their way through the crowd and out the door—we went as a killer Doctor and Nurse couple, my idea.

I Knew You Were Trouble still blasting and I've never felt a bitter sense of irony until now as I slowly slide down the wall and gasp for air between choked sobs; who would've thought you could relate to both sides of a sad, painful love story.

I'm brought back to the present by Matt's calm, collected voice, asking if I have time to talk right now. I look between him and my current table with Alaric and Damon chatting away, unfazed I haven't returned and shake my head slowly. "I have a table Matty…"

Matt looks over my shoulder and then around at the rest of the busy restaurant, returning his focus to me moments later, giving me a weak smile.

"Maybe later then?"

"Matt…I can't. Now's not a good time." I whisper, telling him a white lie. It's not that it's not a good time, it's just that it's never going to be a good time for us. I turn my back to him and make the last few steps to Ric's table, Matt still standing behind gazing longingly at the back of my head.

"One bottle of our best bourbon!" I try my best to gently place the bottle and two glasses down but end up heavily placing the Makers Mark with a thud between the men. Matt's guest appearance tonight has left me a bit shaken considering he hasn't tried reaching out for a month now. I thought maybe he'd finally gotten the point after all this time.

"Gilbert, be careful with a man's bourbon. Could've broke the bottle!" Professor Salvatore tsks while reaching for the bottle and popping the cap off before pouring himself and Ric shots. "What? No glass for you? Not going to celebrate your job at this lovely dining experience?" He chuckles while glancing at Alaric over the brim of his scotch glass.

Alaric looks up at me with worry and his eyes read to me that he saw my whole interaction with Matt. Professor Salvatore is oblivious to this small exchange Ric and I are having and continues to sip on his top shelf bourbon.

"She can't drink on the job, Damon." Ric chuckles while finally picking up his glass. "Besides, she doesn't want to drink with us old men."

I give Ric a small smile before glancing behind me to see that Matt is gone and I let out a sigh of relief. My sigh goes unnoticed by the two as they're lost in deep conversation about some professor up for tenor this year.

"Is there anything else I can get the two of you?"

"No, we're good for now. Thanks, Lena." Ric nods before clearing his throat. "Don't think this conversation is over though." I'm unsure if he means about my job or about our silent Matt conversation but either is an uncomfortable one for me. I give a tight smile before looking over at Professor Salvatore to see he is scrolling through his phone and I am hit with a twinge of pain and jealousy over whoever he could be talking to.

Oh, Elena!

I turn on my heels and walk towards the side entrance to the building, desperately needing fresh air after the whirlwind of events tonight. I tend to put on a brave front, I smile and pretend everything's all right but sometimes I just wish I had my mom around to be able to call and talk to. Everything's different. I'm different, I can't be that same girl, the one Matt fell in love with, the perfect one Jenna once knew, and Alaric thinks he knows. I sink to the ground and try to even out my breathing as I feel myself getting lost. I don't know who I am anymore.

"Elena? Are you okay?"

My eyes flicker up to see Matt has managed to follow me outside and is now standing in front of me, concern spread across his face as he kneels down in front of me. I push further into the cement wall of the building, scraping my legs against the parking lot, trying to keep space between myself and him. He notices this effort and huffs in annoyance before standing up and holding out a hand for me to take.

"Oh, come on Elena. Can't we just talk? You've been avoiding me for a month, you act like we just broke up yesterday!" Matt sounds exasperated, like he's really fighting this time, putting all his energy into this, into us. We broke up so long ago, over a year ago, that I didn't think I had to explain to him I didn't have interest in getting back together. Each time he manages to have a decent friendship with me again he brings up that I haven't been seeing anyone, so it must mean I'm still waiting for him to rekindle our dead romance.

"Th-there's nothing to talk about Matt. We aren't dating, I don't owe you anything. I don't know what you expect from me anymore." I spit out, pushing myself off the gravel and dusting off my uniform. I look down at my watch to read it's only a little past 11 and my shift still has another 2 hours—this conversation and the last and all the others I've had with Matt combined are putting a toll on me and I'm just so tired.

"I never said you did! Why do you always have to pick a fight? Do you enjoy it? Enjoy seeing me suffer? Elena, this isn't you."

"This isn't my fault! Do not make this my fault!" My voice begins to quiver, and I feel tears threaten to spill. Even after all this time I still feel guilt for how I ended things with him and it makes me feel even worse when he throws it back at me. "I never meant to hurt you."

"Yeah, well…it's a little too late for that." He spat, his eyes turning from longing to anger.

"Matt, I'm sorry…" I plead with him, "I don't know how many times I can apologize. I just want to have my best friend back." His body stiffens as the last sentence leaves my mouth and I can tell I hit another nerve. His eyes cloud over with longing once again and I slowly step sideways towards the side entrance.

Matt takes a large step and is almost encompassing any free space I had.

"Elena, I love you. I still love you." His hand reaches up and strokes my cheek. "I don't want to go back to being your friend. I don't care how long I have to wait, even if I have to wait a century for you I will. That's how much I love you, Elena Gilbert. I won't stop fighting for us." Matt leans down, closing his eyes and puckering his lips, ready to kiss me on the last note of his little speech. I quickly duck and push him forward to avoid his kiss, shaking my head.

"Matt, please…"

"Come on, Elena. Just one kiss. I miss you." He leans in again and I shove him harder, this time causing him to stumble. I hadn't noticed the side entrance door opening or Professor Salvatore walking out to make a phone call when I was shoving Matt off of me until an angry "Hey!" was barked from the distant.

Both of our heads turn towards Damon walking over to us, his blue orbs are icy and dark like a winter storm over the north Atlantic Ocean. I sigh, now annoyed my Professor realizes I have relationship issues; all of this having to happen in one day. Now he'll never look my way twice.

"Everything alright here?" Damon snips at Matt while coming to stand in front of me. His protectiveness stuns me with our lack of sustainable conversation held outside of lecture, but there's this look behind the storm brewing in his eyes that I just can't figure out quite yet.

"This doesn't concern you, bud" Matt snaps back, pushing around Damon and grabbing my forearm, "Let's go, Elena." He begins to drag me towards his car and I cry out from how tight his grip is on my arm as I struggle to get out of it. Matt has never been this physical before, I'm not sure if it's from Damon's interference or my rejecting him but it frightens me, and I just want to go back inside.

"Let me go, Matt!" I plead with him, trying to pull his arm off of me.

"She said let her go." Damon growls at Matt, his eyes looking almost a black color.

"And I said this doesn't concern you, man, go back inside!" Matt's face is turning red and his nostrils are flaring, I've never seen him get so worked up in my life apart from the one time his sister Vicki got called a slut in high school.

Suddenly, Matt's grip on my arm is dropped as Damon's fist collides with Matt's face. In one quick swing Matt is knocked back, stumbling to regain his balance as his hand flies up to his nose which is now gushing blood.

"What the fuck!" Matt yelps in pain and I wince, feeling guilty this has even happened and I try to comfort him.

"Matty, are you-"

"Is this why you don't want to see me? Don't want to date me?" He chokes out, nodding his head up towards Damon.

"What? I-Matt, what're you talk-" Before I can even finish my sentence, Matt already has his theory solved and is disgusted with me. He's jumping away from me as quickly as he can before I can even figure it out.

"You're with this guy, aren't you? That's why you don't want me…I bet you've been with him since we broke up and just never wanted to tell me. Friends with Ric and-" He's rambling and I try to correct him but it's too late, he's already getting in his car, still mumbling on about how he never pegged me to date older men.

"Matt, please! Would you just listen to me!" I yell at his closed window before he puts the car in drive and pulls out of the parking lot. Tears are streaming down my face as I realize I'm never going to get my best friend back.

"Elena, are you alright?" I hear a soft, velvet voice come from behind me and I jump slightly as I feel a hand land on my shoulder. I turn my head to find cobalt blue eyes shining with concern looking at me and my insides flutter. I look down at his hand on my shoulder and am instantly brought back to reality when I see his bloodied knuckle.

"Oh, god." I gasp softly. My breathing becomes shallow and I can still feel the tears silently rolling down my face. "This is all my fault!"

"Hey, hey, it's okay, shhh." Damon's attempts to calm me down does little to stop the rising bubble of anxiety and panic forming in the pit of my stomach. His thumb lightly grazes my cheek and brushes the tears currently falling away. "I'll go get Alaric, okay?"

He knows there's only so far of a boundary he can push as my professor showing concern and frankly, I also just think he doesn't know what to exactly do with the mess I'm turning into. He doesn't seem like he handles emotion all that well. He rushes back inside and leaves me standing under the Hooters sign next to the entrance with my thoughts. The cool air of the night stings my wet face and reminds me of the harsh reality that is my life.

"Elena?!" A voice screeches. The door swings open and blonde hair flies by me as I'm engulfed by my best friend and I once again find myself crying more than before. Caroline will press me for details about what's going on after, but for now she just lets me cry silently in her arms on this crisp, fall night.

Let me know what you think in the comments! Feel free to make any suggestions or if you notice an error call me out for it, I want to be corrected! Thanks everyone :)