Lily and I were sitting her bedroom, discussing party plans. I had asked her if I could go to Dez's party with her and she agreed. She admitted that she found me hot and mysterious – that was when I told her that the text "I" sent her was actually sent by my bitch of a best friend and I was straight as a needle. Sure, she was disappointed but she understood.
Every now and then though, she would try to flirt with me but I'd remind her that I had a boyfriend. Okay, confession time: I don't have a boyfriend. Well, of course you knew that. But that was the only thing that'd make her back off of me. And technically, I am engaged to Austin – when we were eight, he asked me to marry him and of course, I agreed (after ensuring that he didn't have cooties. Duh).
I'm still holding him to that promise although he's probably already forgotten about it. Ah, unrequited love… isn't it sweet?
NO, IT'S NOT!
"Are you planning on having sex at the party?" I asked bluntly. No matter how creeped out I was by Lily, I still had to do my job and fulfil my duties to my best friend, didn't I?
She shook her head. "Nah, I've taken a vow of celibacy," she said proudly.
Wait… what? No, no, no, no! Austin wants to get with you! I mentally screamed at her. On second thought, that was fine with me. Hey, no girl for Austin equals to a happy Ally!
"Aww really? Damn," I said with mock disappointment. Inside though, I was celebrating.
"Yeah, after the last foursome I had, I couldn't walk for a week and I was practically paralyzed… I decided that that was it, y'know?"
I nodded. Time to get the hell out of here.
"Well, it's been nice talking to you," I said, throwing in a cough, "See ya at," cough, "the party on," cough, "Friday!"
"Are you okay, Ally?" she asked, her eyes wide with concern. Lily may be a slut and all but she really does have a big heart. She volunteers at the nursing home during school breaks and she reads to children at the hospital over the weekends when she's not drunk off her ass.
"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, throwing in two sneezes for good measure. I bid her goodbye as I walked semi-composedly out of her house.
"CELIBACY?!" Austin shrieked as I told him the bad news (best news I've heard all week, if you ask me). I nodded with mock sadness.
"Dude, this is 2013, not 1613! Who even does that anymore?" he asked exasperatedly. I raised my hand meekly. He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, but you're Ally Dawson, you're different," he said, his voice softening.
"I'm sorry Austin, I tried… On the bright side, your chances of contracting chlamydia has decreased by 0.1 percent!" I said brightly, trying to cheer him up. When I saw that he was still pouting, I brought my two index fingers to the corners of his lips and pushed them up, trying to make him smile.
"Now that's just weird," he muttered, shaking his head at me with a small smile gracing his handsome features. Austin's back, bitches!
"I'm no beauty queen, I'm just beautiful me," I sang in response to Austin's remark about me being weird. I always sang that line whenever he called me strange or weird. That line was from "Who Says" by Selena Gomez – it's mah jam, peeps!
The blonde-headed hottie I call my best friend laughed and pinched my cheek.
"Do you know that blonde hair is actually a genetic mutation?" I asked, trying to start a new topic. He shook his head. "Does that mean I'm a Mutant Ninja Turtle?" he asked, his eyes lighting up like a ten year old boy's on Christmas Day.
"Nah, that just means that you're a mutated cockroach."
"That makes no sense."
"You act as if you just met me yesterday. When have I ever made sense?"
"Touché."
Many people perceive me to be a nerd who takes everything seriously but in reality, I'm not. I have a sense of humor (at least, I'd like to think so) and 99% of everything that comes out of my mouth makes no sense. I mean, if I can befriend people from different social cliques, I'm not that big of a party-pooper, right?
School. Some people love it, some people don't. People like Rachel Parkers love school – she's surrounded by all her minions – I mean, friends – and she's the envy of everyone in the school. Plus, she has one of the highest GPAs in the school! She's the complete package, I tell ya.
And then there's people like Austin who hate school to the core. He couldn't care less about history, chemistry, algebra or calculus. The only lesson he enjoyed was music – all he wanted to do was make music and inspire others.
And then there's me. I guess I'm somewhere in-between. Although I do study quite a fair bit, my grades aren't all that great. I love certain subjects (anything math or history-related) but I hate others (chemistry is the bane of my existence). Like Austin, music was my favorite lesson. That makes us soul mates... right?
It was Friday, the day of Dez's party. I initially planned on texting Lily that I was down with a bad case of the flu so that I didn't have to go, but Dez whined and whined about wanting us to go to his first party for moral support so we finally relented.
"My dad actually gave me a thousand bucks to spend on the party!" Dez exclaimed excitedly. Yes, Dez Worthy was throwing his first party and his parents, overjoyed that he was finally making normal friends (I don't see what's not normal about me but then again, I did eat all the pickles in their refrigerator once… or twice… or seventeen times), gave him a huge budget to spend on the party.
Austin and Adam patted Dez on the back. "Aw yeah mate, that's how we roll," Adam drawled in his Australian accent.
"You guys wanna ditch?" Adam asked our party of five - Adam, Austin, Dez, Trish and me. We were only in second period and I just wanted to keel over and die, my schedule on Friday was extremely boring. Chemistry, Biology, gym and literature one after another wasn't exactly my idea of fun. Sure, I had music for seventh period but I really didn't want to stay on for the rest of the periods.
"I'm in," I volunteered. This was my second time ditching school. My first had been extremely nerve-racking – I went to the beach to write some tunes but I was afraid that I would be caught so I freaked out and ran home. I'm experienced now, Ally-D can handle this shit, broman.
Dez, Trish and Austin said they had to stay in school because they either had their favorite lessons or detentions so it was just Adam and me.
"Great, I needed to talk to Ally anyway," Adam said, putting his arm around me. My eyes widened in surprise and I followed Adam as we walked away from the group and walked to his silver convertible.
After we had settled into his car, he turned to me.
"You like Austin," were the first three words that came out of his mouth.
I froze. C'mon A-dawg, say something! Anything! I laughed half-heartedly. "What…? Psh, no… that's ludicrous!" was my feeble attempt to dismiss his absurd-yet-accurate statement.
"Alright, alright," he held his hands up in mock defense. "Let me rephrase that – you love Austin." And then he smirked. He looked cute when he smirked but Austin looked way cuter when he smirked. Anything Austin does is cuter than anyone else… even his twin brother.
Knowing that there was no way to escape this interrogation, I sighed and nodded my head twice. "You know, you'd make a great criminal interrogator."
"Why thank you! Anywho, I've got a proposition for ya," he said, wriggling his eyebrows. I raised an eyebrow at his odd behavior. "'Sup with you?"
"Well, you like Austin and I like Trish…" he said, trailing off. "Go on," I encouraged, eager to know what he had to say.
"You know the rubber band theory?"
How could I not? It was in my favorite movie, 'Angus Thongs and Perfect Snogging'! I nodded. I didn't like where this was going, I knew what he was going to say and I really didn't know how I felt about that.
"Well, we should fake-date to make them jealous."
He said it. Someone call the cops, he said it!
I choked. "Okay, genius, there are many flaws with your idea. For starters, Austin knows that you like – no, love – Trish. How's that gonna work?"
Adam's expression at that moment was priceless – he looked like a deer caught in headlights. "O-okay…" he composed himself and he licked his lips.
"I'll tell Austin that I'm using you to make Trish jealous but in the process of 'dating' me, you'll fall for me. How 'bout that?"
I sighed. I knew this wasn't going to end well but right now, it was the only option I had. I hated whiney girls who whined all day and night about unreciprocated love but right now, I was in the same boat as them. I felt pathetic, really.
"Fine, it's a deal," I said, pouting.
Adam held out his hand. "Let's shake on it, girlfriend," he smirked. God he's as annoying as Austin is. What'd Mr & Mrs Moon ever do to deserve such annoying twin sons?
I stretched out my right hand and his palm enveloped mine as we sealed the deal.