Ann prompted "Stefan starts getting plagued by recurring nightmares so he attempts to avoid sleeping in both his Little and Big spaces?" + Annie prompted "Stefan starts getting plagued by recurring nightmares so he attempts to avoid sleeping in both his Little and Big spaces?"
Includes a scene/dialogue from 1x20. Trigger warning for depictions of blood and a bigger one for Giuseppe. That man is a walking trigger warning of his own.
Every sound grains on Stefan's senses. The well maintained wood floors creek with every sound. The maids snore in their quarters below the house. He can smell his father's awful cigar in the study from the parlor, along with the horse manure out back. His eyes dart around. He can see through the darkness.
It's too much. He cannot live like this for eternity. How does Katherine do it?
Katherine's stronger. She'll always be stronger.
Stefan pushes open the door to the study. His father sits behind his desk, eyes pensive. The man rarely smiles. Stefan would've once done anything to bring it out.
Hopefully this will.
He tries to form the words. Anything. Something.
How does one say goodbye?
Giuseppe's head rises. He jumps out of his chair and stumbles back a bit. Stefan swallows upon seeing the fear in his eyes.
"Dear God," his father declares.
Stefan frowns. Shouldn't his father be pleased? While he has no plans of continuing as a vampire, how can his own flesh and blood not be happy to know he's still here?
"Even in our death, you feel shame?"
Stefan tries to keep his voice even. He shall not cry. That'll only upset him more.
"You're one one of them now," Giuseppe says, his voice rattled with terror.
"No, Father. I've come to say goodbye."
"I watched you die."
Stefan raises a brow. He tries to remember back to the night before. There was so much noise. Far too much blood.
He can't place his father?
"You were there when we were shot?"
"I pulled the trigger myself."
Stefan's heart crashes into his chest. He knows his father is often disappointed in his children. Giuseppe terrorized them. Whipped them. In Damon's case, burned him.
But murder? With a revolver no less?
Stefan has never felt loved by his father, but certainly not enough hate for this…
"You killed your own sons?"
No sorrow or regret crosses Giuseppe's stone cold face. "You were dead to be the moment you sided with the vampires. I only thank God your mother isn't alive to see the disgrace you've become…"
Stefan interrupts, not wanting to think of his beloved mother. "I haven't turned yet. I don't want to." Even with all his cruelty and hatred, all Stefan wants is his daddy's approval. Even just this once. "I'm going to let myself die father. Please."
Giuseppe nods. "Yes, you are," he says, in a matter of fact way.
He grabs a fire poker and snaps it in two. Stefan flinches. He slowly backs up as his father rushes towards him.
This isn't the switch or strap. This won't hurt for a few days and then go away.
His father wishes to kill him. Again.
One moment, Stefan is still and terrified. The next, he's tossing Giuseppe across the room with a strength he didn't know he had. His father falls to the ground, grunting.
Stefan races over. The poker impales his father's stomach. His eyes widen.
"I didn't mean to," Stefan cries. He puts his hand around the poker.
"Get away from me!"
"Let me help you, please!"
In a last attempt to prove to his father he's worthy, Stefan yanks the poker from his chest. Giuseppe withers in pain.
Blood.
There's so much blood.
Stefan examines the poker, his senses brought to life once more. This time, it isn't a burden, but a pull. Like the temptation of cookies fresh from the stove. Sweets from the confectionery.
He swipes his finger against the wood. The blood stains his hands. Stefan carefully brings it to his mouth, licking it off finger by finger.
Nothing has ever tasted so sweet.
He wants more.
He needs more.
Stefan directs his attention to his father. The blood still expels from his stomach. A feast right before Stefan's very eyes.
His father is crying out in pain. For once, Stefan doesn't care. After all, did his cries ever stop the abuse?
Stefan grabs a handful more and devours it. Pain fills his mouth as teeth shift. Once they settle, he realizes only one thing will soothe the pain.
His teeth rip into his beloved father. He devours the flesh and blood greedily, as if he hasn't eaten in a week.
The cries eventually stop. Stefan cannot hear a heartbeat. And still, he continues until there isn't a drop left.
Stefan falls back onto his bottom, letting out a sigh of ecstasy.
He jumps when the body before him jolts. With tears throughout his skin, Giuseppe leaps off the ground. His eyes are red as he towers above his son.
"You're a disgrace," he growls. "Weak. Even in death, you act as a toddler out of control."
A blink and the switch is in his father's head. Stefan scoots back, knocking against the desk. He can smell the vervain. His breathing picks up.
"I take it my previous lessons didn't sink through your thick skull!"
The burn of the strap pierces his cheek.
Stefan gasps as his eyes flicker open. He breathes heavily as he looks around the dark room. Damon's. Stefan attempts to sit up, but he's weighed down. He thrashes about, pushing on what's holding him down.
"St…stop! Get off of me!"
It doesn't move. He can't move.
Stefan growls, using all the strength within him. He pushes up, causing the weight to go flying.
"Ah!"
Stefan sits up, his breathing still heavy. Damon's sprawled out on the floor, confusion written across his sleep ridden face. Stefan frowns as it hits him.
Damon rocked him to sleep that night.
"I…I'm sorry," Stefan makes out. He climbs out of bed and holds out his hand. Damon accepts it, standing up. "I'm sorry." It's all he can think to say.
"What the heck was that?" Damon asks.
"I'm sorry. I…I'm sorry."
Damon frowns. He rubs this thumb over Stefan's cheek.
"Hey, it's okay, buddy. It's okay. Are you alright?"
"I just…I couldn't move. I got scar…I forgot."
Damon nods, keeping up the motion. "Did you have a bad dream?" Stefan shakes his head. Damon raises an eyebrow. "Stef."
"It…it's fine."
"It scared you."
"I don't wanna talk about it, alright?"
Damon frowns. "Buddy…"
Stefan interrupts. "I'm going to my room."
"You shouldn't be alone right now."
"I just need some space."
"At least let me tuck you in…"
"Day…" Stef shakes his head. "I'll be okay."
He grabs his bunny, vamping out the door and down the hall. Much to his relief, Damon doesn't follow. Stefan shuts the door and flicks on the lights. Grabbing hold of a book off his shelf, he drops into an armchair.
Stefan avoids Damon's bed for the first few nights. It's easy to hide his new routine. He shuts his eyes until he hears his brother disappear downstairs. Stefan reads, writes in his journal or quietly watches something on his tablet. The moment he hears his brother head for the stairs, he's back beneath the blankets. Damon can usually tell he's awake, but he'll accept the excuse that Stefan just woke up.
He's made up for the lack of sleep with extra blood. As soon as his energy dips, he's drinking a new thermos. He ditches lunch to hunt daily. His intake has doubled in the past week. It's not enough to starve off exhaustion entirely, but he can try.
Saturday comes and Stefan dreads 1:00. He puts it off for as long as possible and tries to hide in the backyard with his journal. It only lasts a few moments before Damon rounds the corner.
"It's naptime, Bunny Boy."
"I'm not tired," Stefan lies.
Damon laughs. "The bags under your eyes say differently. C'mon. Up to bed."
"I manage without naptime during the week," Stefan points out.
"Yes, and that's why you need it on the weekend."
Damon holds out his arms. Stefan grunts and pushes himself up off the ground, stomping his feet to the house. Damon follows right behind him.
"I can walk myself!" Stefan whines. "I don't need you tucking me in."
Damon turns him around. "Hey, where did this attitude come from?"
"Nowhere! This whole thing is stupid." Stefan folds his arms over his chest. "I'm 17! I don't need a nap."
Damon pinches the bridge of his nose. "I'm not having this argument with you. Up to bed or you can have a early bedtime."
Stefan whines. "You suck!"
He vamps inside, still able to hear his brother say "I love you too, Bunny Boy". Stefan slams his bedroom door shut, only to have it open again a moment later. He flops on his stomach, burying his head in his pillows.
"You need to take your shoes off," Damon's voice carries. "And I don't think sleeping in jeans is comfy."
Stefan kicks off his shoes waiting to hear the thud. He doesn't move to take off his jeans.
"Stef."
"G'way!"
"Let's get you in sweats."
Stefan mumbles something he hopes resembles no. Damon carefully pushes him onto his back. Stefan glares at him.
"Leave me alone! I'm taking the stupid nap like you wanted."
Damon narrows his eyes. "I think someone is super cranky," he declares.
"Stop talking to me like a baby."
"I will when you start acting like a big boy. Are you going to let me take off your jeans?"
"No."
Damon throws his hands in the air. "Fine. Have an uncomfortable nap."
"Fine."
Stefan snatches his bunny and holds it close. Damon shakes his head.
"I hope you have a better attitude after a nice, long nap."
Stefan ignores him. His brother tucks a throw blanket over him and kisses his forehead. Stefan looks away. He'll never understand why his brother still shows him affection even when he's not happy with him.
Damon gets up and leaves the room. Stefan waits until his footsteps are completely down the stairs before throwing his bunny and untangling himself from the blanket. He jumps out of bed and heads to his desk. There's some homework that should take a couple of hours to finish.
Big Boy Stefan doesn't sleep for 2 weeks.
Little Stefan is paying the price.
He vaguely remembers the nightmare. Not all the specifics, but the important part.
Sinking fangies into his father's body,
The big, scary strap coming for his face.
He doesn't want to see that either.
Stefan sits on the floor, rubbing his eyes. There's something that keeps Big Stefy awake. He can't remember. Stefan let's out a tiny yawn as he pushes his Cinderella doll around the Lego police station.
Damon walks into the den, looking around at the tsunami of toys left out. "Well, looks like someone made a bit of a mess," he says. "Time to clean up, then we can have our bath."
Stefan shakes his head. "Nuh uh. I'm not done."
"It's getting late, Bunny Boy. Come on. I'll even help."
He grabs the plastic bin the princesses go in. Stefan shakes his head, clinging the doll to his chest. Damon sighs, crouching in front of him.
"You can bring her up to bed, but you need to put the rest of this away."
"No!" Stefan grabs the Duplo cop car.
"Stefan Antonio Salvatore, I'm not asking you. I'm telling you."
Damon tries to take the car from him. Stefan resists, pulling his hand back. His older brother doesn't give up. Stefan drops the doll and grabs another car, throwing it at Damon's forehead. It bounces right off onto the floor. Damon grunts, rubbing at the wounded area. Stefan turns to go back to his Legos. Suddenly, he's lifted up and over his lap. Damon sharply pops his bottom 5 times. Stefan whines, kicking his legs,
"Stop!"
"You will not throw toys at me." Damon swats the seat of his leggings another 5 times. "And you need to listen to me. It's time to clean up."
"No! No! No!"
Stefan's body aches. He rubs at his eyes and thrashes about in his brother's arms. Damon attempts to settle him, but Stefan's having none of it. He continues his tantrum.
Damon rises to his feet, thrusting Stefan over his shoulder. The baby brother continues to kick his legs and pound his fists. Damon ignores him as he carries him upstairs.
"I wan' Cinderella!" Stefan whines.
"You lost the privilege to pick that when you started this tantrum. I think we'll skip bath tonight and put you straight to bed."
"No!"
"I'm getting tired of hearing that word. Aren't we supposed to be nice to our big brothers?"
"I hate you!"
"That's your right."
Stefan whines out of frustration. He doesn't make it easy for his brother as Damon attempts to put him in a pair of footie pajamas. Eventually, he gives up and attends a large night shirt instead. Stefan screams as if he's being strangled and thrashes his legs.
Damon stares at his tantruming brother with a frown. His brother has resisted sleep before, but it's never been this bad. Stefan isn't usually the violent type. Tonight he bares his fangs and kicks his legs, screaming "no", over and over again. He's refusing his pajamas, wearing just his briefs.
He takes a better look at his eyes. The dark circles that surround them are growing venom. He keeps rubbing his eyes roughly, leaving momentary bruises.
Damon pulls off his own t-shirt. He lays against the pillows and moves a thrashing Stefan onto his chest. Stefan attempts to get off, but Damon wraps his arms tightly around him.
"G'way!" Stefan commands.
Damon doesn't respond. He grabs Bunny and tucks it beneath his grip. Stefan can't hold it, but he'll feel the worn fabric. He whistles and Crow flies in. The bird lands on one of the bed posts. Stefan's squirming decreases a little.
"I'm not tired," he whines.
Damon keeps quiet. Stefan continues moaning and kicking. He rubs his face against his big brother's bare shoulder. Little by little, his body begins to slow.
"Thumb," Stefan whispers, his eyelids drooping.
Damon eases up on his grip and allows Stefan to find comfort. With his other arm, he finally snuggles his bunny. His head doesn't move from Damon's shoulder. Stefan's eyelids shut completely and his whine halts. The only sounds that can be heard are him sucking his thumb. Damon lets out a sigh of relief as he watches him sleep.
Stefan doesn't realize he fell asleep until he wakes up in bed, alone. His thumb is still in his mouth, Bunny tucked under his arms. He looks down and realizes he's in his briefs.
Images of the night before flash across his mind. He flinches, sucking his thumb harder. Stefan curls up in a ball, heat rising to his cheeks.
The door creaks open, two sets of footsteps entering. Stefan's eyes slowly look up. He cowers back when he sees not only his big brother, but sissy right alongside him. Lexi frowns, crossing over to the bed. She pushes Stefan's curls out of his face.
"Sissy," Stefan mumbles behind his thumb.
"Yeah, Pumpkin," Lexi whispers. "Sissy's here."
Damon walks beside her, exhaustion written in his own face. Guilt washes over Stefan.
"DayDay."
Damon sighs. "What's going on, Stef?"
Lexi sits beside him. Stefan doesn't move to go on her lap. "Are you sleeping?" Stefan nods, hugging his bunny closer. "I mean outside last night."
Stefan hesitates. He could try to lie, but Lexi hates liars. She'll never hate him, but she'll be sad. Damon's already sad with him. He shakes his head no.
Damon goes around to the other side. Stefan is practically sandwiched between the two. It's probably the closest Lexi and Damon have ever been, and ever will be. Stefan squirms. He has a DayDay and a Sissy, but they're rarely in the same place.
"Scary dreams," he says, dropping his thumb.
Drool drips down his cheek. Lexi grabs a tissue and wipes at his face. Stefan squirms. Damon's hand goes on his shoulder.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
Stefan frowns. "You'd make me sleep anyway."
"You need sleep, Stefan."
"Nuh uh. Vampires don't need sleep."
"Little ones do," Lexi says, firmly. "To avoid something like last night from happening."
Stefan's cheeks burn. He looks up at Damon. His big brother's face is clear, but Stefan can remember the brief bruise.
"I'm sorry, DayDay."
Damon's eyes soften for a moment. Lexi clears his throat and they steel over. "I know you were exhausted, but you can't let it get that far."
"I was scared."
"That's when you come to me or your sister. You cannot hurt your body like that. Stef, last night all you did was kick and throw toys. What if you hurt people worse?"
Stefan whimpers. He doesn't like this. He wants a hug. Lexi taps him on the shoulder so he'll look over. Her face is firm, but not mean.
"You need to sleep," she says. "And you need to talk to one of us, or both. That was so dangerous. For any little vampire, but especially a ripper."
Stefan swallows, nodding. He holds his arms out to her. She sighs, cuddling him on her lap and gently rocking him.
"I didn't want to see the blood anymore."
Lexi presses a kiss to the top of his head. "What blood, Pumpkin?"
"Father's."
Stefan jolts as he's ripped from Lexi's arms into that of his big brother's. Damon presses him against his chest. Stefan clings to him, relieved he's not mad anymore.
"I hurted him, DayDay."
Damon bounces him a little. "I know. It's okay. He was very mean."
"He…he hurted you and me."
"He did. I am so sorry he hurt you." Damon covers his face in kisses.
Stefan shakes his head. "Not your fault." He looks up at his brother, putting his hands on his cheeks. Damon gazes down at him. "I'm sorry, DayDay. No more Scary Stefy."
"I'm going to help you to make sure he's gone," Damon whispers. "I won't leave like last time. It's not Sissy's job. It's mine."
Lexi lets out a dramatic sigh, but doesn't argue. Stefan holds out his hand and she takes it, lacing her fingers through his.
"We're going to help you, baby boy," she soothes. "Don't worry."
Stefan nods. "I'm in trouble?"
There's a brief pause. Stefan tenses up. Lexi rubs her thumb over his knuckles. Damon speaks up first.
"I'm going push up your bedtime for a bit, on both weekends and school nights, until your sleep schedule is back on track. And you're taking naps at school." Stefan tilts his head. "Ms. Caroline agreed you can sleep in her office during your free period."
Stefan pouts. "I hang out with my friends during that time."
"For now, your sleep comes first. And you're sleeping in my bed for the next few weeks."
Stefan nods, it doesn't seem like much of a punishment. "'Kay," he mumbles.
"You're going to clean up your toys, then have breakfast and we'll get you ready," Lexi says. "But then you're going to write an apology letter to your brother. As well as write about why we don't keep things from big siblings. And why we sleep."
Stefan sighs. "Yes, Sissy." He looks between his big brother and sister. "Then I get cuddles?"
Damon nods. "As many as you want."
Stefan clings to him. His body is still rattled with sleep deprivation. Who knows how long it's going to take to fix it.
Layered with it is his guilt. His brother didn't deserve any of this.
Stefan sighs, putting his thumb back in his mouth. Damon doesn't let him go just yet, letting him know he's forgiven. Even if Stefan doesn't feel deserving quite yet.