That was the end of the beginning. From there, it all blurred together. Reset after reset after reset. My only mission: save Papyrus. And I failed over and over and over. A handful of times I even saw him die. I traveled every pathway, tested every alternation of every possible path. Nothing saved him.
First, I attempted to keep him at home. I invented games, found recordings of TV shows, and even asked him to teach me how to cook spaghetti. Delighted, he willingly devoted himself to whatever interesting task I came up with. But it only delayed the inevitable. No matter how much he loved the current activity, if I looked away for one second, he was gone. It was as if some outside force compelled him beyond the power of his own will.
Perhaps, I reasoned, capturing the human was too great an adventure to pass up. So, somehow, I had to keep them from meeting. For about ten resets, I tried variations of "staying home sick." Once I figured out I couldn't get Papyrus to stay home with me for long, I held on to hope; if I wasn't at my station, he wouldn't come to check up on me, and the kid might pass the sentry checkpoints without running into him. But that proved pointless.
A couple times, I tried killing the kid the moment they stepped from the Ruins. But they simply slaughtered me—once in front of Papyrus—and immediately reset before I could completely dust.
On one desperate occasion, I grabbed Paps and teleported all the way to Hotlands. It seemed to work! The kid reset not long after, discovering we were gone. But upon trying it again, my soul hitched, freezing me like a stone statue, and, since I was unable to argue or beg or teleport again, Papyrus worriedly carried me all the way home, put me to bed… ran into the human… and was dusted.
Finally, I tried telling Papyrus about the resets. He listened, but I could tell he wasn't truly hearing me. As soon as I finished explaining and begging, he kindly assured me that I was worrying too much, went out to face the human, and was dusted.
So, next reset, I tried again, this time proving earlier on that I could predict the "future." When it came down to it, I finished laying out my case and waited. It seemed I had gotten through to Papyrus, for he was standing perfectly still, head down, thinking hard. I regret the hope I felt in that moment. Because in the next instant, I was trapped in a cage of blue bones, a prison small enough to prevent me from stepping into a portal. Papyrus promised to be careful yet refused to let me be put in danger, saying he would let me go when he returned with the repentant human…
The walls fell less than half an hour later. Because he had died again.
The worst was, whenever I deviated too far from my "script," I would be nearly incapacitated. Either blindness, pain, inability to move, or fear would prevent me from pushing onwards. My eye was permanently shattered, sparks of teal magic flying rogue whenever I sparked it. The broken pieces of frozen light spread further apart, getting more and more shattered, until my eye socket would blaze like a shifting starry night.
The longer this nightmare stretched on, the more hopeless I became. At first, I was sure there was a solution. But after trying so many different paths… after waking up to the same day over and over… after dying countless times… well…
At about the 60th reset, I began to realize there wasn't an ending.
When it finally sunk in, I died inside. I didn't joke, laugh, or smile. Why try? The only times I did these things was when I still had my brother. The moment I lost him, I gave up. There was no point. My death was the only thing that would eventually bring him back. There were times when I simply let the kid kill me. Other times I painted the judgement hall red with their bloody determination. But nothing really mattered.
It was true: my soul was cracking. Curious, I had pinged it out to take a look—an experience I don't recommend—and sure enough, thin crevices crawled across its surface, pulsing a slightly bruised shade of purple, blatant against the turquoise-white glow. It only got worse if I died after deviating from the script. So… if I followed my lines, I might survive. From then on, I followed the simplest path: obey the script until the human reached Snowdin, then remain inside the house until I had to judge them. That way I didn't have to see anyone die. I had figured out how to avoid joining up with the townspeople, so I was alone from the moment Papyrus died till I fought the kid in the hall. It was better this way. It was better if no one knew how dead I was inside. And, when my soul did eventually shatter, it would be better if no one saw me dust for good. But that didn't really matter either.
Eventually, finally… something changed.
"Tra-la-la. The waters are wild today. That's bad luck," the riverperson said cheerfully.
you don't say, I thought numbly, as if i haven't figured out how unlucky i am. I gazed emotionlessly at the inky water, my thoughts almost as dark. Distantly, I found myself wondering whether or not skeletons really needed air. We breathed so we could talk and for the constant feel of it; but we didn't need to, right? That was unfortunate. Because I sort of wanted to jump into the river. But deep down, I knew that could cause some major damage to my soul. And I was gonna die soon enough, no matter what I did.
Arriving at the dock in Hotlands, I silently stood and stepped onto the flint and gravel, nodding slightly at the riverperson. Just as I turned and began to wander away—
"Tra-la-la. Glitched game, human's bane. Tra-la-la." I froze mid-step. Turning, I stared at them, bewildered at these odd new words. They stared back, tipping their head to the side slightly.
"what did you say?" I asked.
The riverperson remained silent, a curious haze about them, as if they couldn't fathom why I didn't understand them perfectly the first time. There was a strange pause. Then, without a word, they turned and drifted away.
I watched them go, mind tripping. I'd heard all the riverperson's sayings; this was not one of them. And what really caught me off guard was the word "glitched." That was what the human had called me during the first fight, wasn't it? "But you—you broke everything! You're a glitch!"
These words carried weight, I could feel it. This was somehow important. Hesitantly, I turned back towards the castle, clutching Papyrus's scarf as I trudged towards my inevitable death.