Hello again!!!

I thought I'd surprise you with a shorter chapter before I go back to work tomorrow! I got this one done quite quickly because it's been school holidays here in Australia (I don't know if I mentioned that it was teaching that I just graduated from). I've got the plan for the next chapter, so I'll be starting to write that in the next few days. Fingers crossed I won't be exhausted after school every day!

I hope you enjoy!

BPOV

"I wish I still didn't get so angry with him, but sometimes it just… it just comes back, you know? Like, no time has passed and I'm just standing there listening to my mom cry, knowing that I wasn't going to be enough to fix it." Mitch hung his head, absorbed in his emotions. "I know it's what he wanted, but I'm angry that he signed up. Why did he have to put his life on the line, knowing that it would kill our mother if he died? I love him and I miss him, but I just hate him for not being here."

Tonight was the most I'd ever heard Mitch speak. He'd never been one to initiate a group discussion, but tonight he had shared that it was close to the anniversary of his little brother, Tim's death in Afghanistan. He'd talked about the trauma of getting a phone call from a serviceman who was at his mother's house, where she was hysterical. He was asked to come as soon as he could, so he left work to tend to his mother. Her hysteria and grief were so profound, Mitch couldn't leave the house for over a week. His mother would freak out whenever he was out of her sight. He'd lost his job and pretty quickly, he'd run out of many and had to move back home as well. Both he and his mother had fallen into a deep depression, and he was only just now starting to claw his way back out of it.

"It's okay to be angry at him, Mitch," Angela said soothingly. "Do you know that old saying 'there's a fine line between love and hate'? Your anger toward Tim stems from the deep love you still have for him. You're angry because you won't ever get to have the relationship with your brother that you wanted to have. You're angry because you loved him and will never get to have the full and amazing life he deserved."

Mitch nodded as a few tears leaked from the corners of his eyes, but he scrubbed at them quickly with the back of his balled-up fist.

Angela looked around the group. "Being angry at our loved ones doesn't make us bad people. Anger is a recognised symptom of grief, but it's what we do with our anger that matters. It is a powerful emotion, and it burns through the sadness that comes with loss. It is a fire that ignites us, and when we feel overwhelming pain, it is easy to let it burn too brightly. Without control, it can burn you and the people around you. But if you face it, and address it and its roots head-on, you can find a path to healing. If you don't, it can fester inside you. It leaves you emotional and psychologically raw, resulting in lower resilience. That's just a fancy way of saying that anger is tiring.

"When you find yourself feeling that anger, take a deep breath and try and pinpoint what has set it off. If it's not obvious that is. If you need to, remove yourself from the situation that may have triggered it. Once you identify what it is that has made you angry, you are much more equipped to deal with it. Anger is a part of grieving, but it is important to try and not let it fester because it is easy for it to become our default."

The room was quiet, absorbing everything Angela had said.

"Alright, folks. It seems like I've met my metaphor quota for the evening, right on time. Next week we can explore this topic deeper if anyone had something they would have liked to add tonight. Otherwise, we can see what we feel is important to us then. Thank you all so much for being here tonight and sharing in our discussion."

We all muttered our thanks to Angela and then straightened the meeting room in a practised and orderly way. Edward had started sitting between Frank and me during the meetings. It was driven heavily by Edward's desire to get away from Tanya, who found any opportunity to touch him. But Edward and Frank had made a strong connection over the loss of their wives. I was so proud of him for opening up so much over the last few weeks and widening his social sphere, even if it was with a seventy-two-year-old man. Frank had mentioned one Monday night that his son didn't call as much lately, and he had begun to feel lonelier. Edward had offered him his phone number and the two had become phone buddies. Edward had even gone out to lunch with Frank a few times, finding the two had a mutual appreciation for classical music and the chocolate shakes from Dick's Drive-In.

"Do you want to grab something to eat?" Edward asked as we made our way out of the building. Edward had started picking me up from school after the meeting with the Di Nali's, so all my stuff was already in his car. He said that he didn't mind because he didn't really have to worry about work, and he knew catching the bus would make my life easier. But deep down, I knew he was trying to make amends.

"Sure," I nodded with a smile. "Lead the way."

It had been two weeks since the disastrous dinner and the dirty feeling I got whenever I thought about that night had finally gone away. It took a very long conversation on the Sunday with Rose and Emmett, and the devouring of the entire cheesecake Esme had sent home with me before I felt like I could even think straight.

I had spilled everything to them. I told them about the tense meeting and the stilted dinner. I talked about how nice it was to listen to stories about Maria from the people closest to her; how connected I had felt to my sister then. Emmett flipped his lid when I told them about Carmen's behavior and her outburst that ended the night on a sour note. It was a good thing I'd served the cheesecake before we sat down to talk because I was able to remind my brother of the praise he'd been singing in Esme's favor as he devoured a quatre of the rich dessert in one sitting.

Honestly, that cheesecake was the best act of strategic diplomacy Esme could have ever pulled. An easy way into my brother's heart was through his stomach.

He had, however, made me promise that I wouldn't see them again without 'back-up'. I knew he meant business when he slipped out the cop lingo. He took both his job on the force and his job as my brother very seriously. Edward didn't seem to count in that edict, though. I like to think it was because Emmett had finally started trusting that Edward was a good guy.

We sat in what had become our regular booth, ordering quickly when Cathy, the usual waitress, came over. We didn't come here every Monday night, usually only coming when we hadn't gone to L(art)te before the meeting.

"So, guess who found my website and sent me an email?" Edward asked, a wry smile on his face. His fingers played with a sugar packet that had been left on the table.

"I have no idea," I said playfully, rolling my eyes at him.

"Your boss." I could tell by his crooked smile that he wasn't annoyed by it.

"Oh God. are you serious?" I groaned with a laugh. "Was she trying to convince you to come run a workshop again?"

Heidi had asked me about Edward last week, obviously fishing for more than just professional information. She'd asked if he'd mentioned her offer to run a workshop at school to me. I'd told her that, yes, he had told me that afternoon they met in the parking lot, but that he hadn't mentioned it since. She tried not to show it, but I could see her disappointment. She hadn't asked me about it again, so I'd assumed she'd let the idea drop.

"Yup," he said, popping the P at the end of the word. "But, I actually said yes." Edward's smile had turned bashful like he was nervous to admit it to me.

"You did, huh?" I had to admit, I was slightly surprised he actually said yes to Heidi. "What made you decide to do it?"

Cathy brought over our Cokes and Edward took a long drink from his. "There were a few reasons," he prefaced, setting his glass down. "But mainly it was because I would have loved to have done something like that when I was in high school. Maybe I would have figured out sooner that I could actually make a career out of my music, even if it wasn't 'making it big'." He added air quotes a little sarcastically.

I had learnt how passionate Edward was about his work, and music in general since we had driven out to Forks together. Talking about it always lit a sparkle in his eyes. There was an afternoon a few weeks ago when we had been having coffee and he got onto the subject of a band he liked that had apparently just released a new album. I had no idea who or what he was talking about, and I certainly didn't contribute much to the conversation, but Edward was able to talk about it, almost non-stop, for twenty minutes. Maybe he and his sister were more alike than he'd care to admit?

"That's really great, Edward." I reached across and rubbed his hand, where it rested over his crossed arms in front of him on the table. "I think you'll do amazing. And I already the kids are going to love you." Especially all the female students, I thought wryly to myself.

Edward ran his hands through his hair, leaving him looking like a windswept heartthrob. "Hopefully. To be honest with you, I'm nervous as hell. I'm sure Heidi's going to have a lot of information for me, I don't know how to be a teacher or what I'll need to do to get ready."

I couldn't help chuckling, which caused Edward to give me the stick-eye. It was weak though, so it was more of a smelly-eye. "Don't worry. I'll help you with whatever you need. Heidi will probably hook you up with Ryan - he's the head of the music department - and he will get you whatever resources you might need. But I'll help you with whatever I can. I can help you plan your lessons, or help you figure out your assessment. Do you know when Heidi wants your workshop to run?"

"Not yet. I only got her email today."

"Well, hopefully we have plenty of time to get you prepared."

We were smiling at each other when Cathy approached the table with our meals. I'd ordered a chicken caesar salad, while Edward had ordered a double cheeseburger but had asked if he could make his fries a large plate for the table. I quickly snatched a few and dunked them into the ketchup before he'd even reached toward the plate. I shot him a cheeky smile as I swallowed, then picked up my forked and tucked into my large salad.

"So, what were the other reasons that clinched your decision?" I asked as I brought my fork full of lettuce and grilled chicken to my mouth.

Edward had just taken a large bite of his burger but quickly chewed to clear his mouth. "Well," he said, reaching for his drink and taking a quick drink. "It's a good opportunity, branch out, diversify my business. You never know, I might want to 'expand my brand', as my sister puts it, and end up hiring one of the kids to work for me one day."

"You were scared Heidi wouldn't stop haranguing you, weren't you?" I asked teasingly, raising my eyebrow, and trying to imitate his lopsided smirk.

Edward's head fell back as he laughed. "That was definitely a factor to it, yes."

I giggled as I continued on with my meal. "Yeah, she usually doesn't like to let things go until she gets her way."

"That's the impression I got," he chuckled with me, reaching for another handful of fries.

We were quiet for a moment as we ate. It rarely felt awkward to sit with Edward like this, at least not since we'd been becoming friends. Everything had started to change when we drove out to Forks. Not just because he was there with me when one of the biggest secrets of my childhood was revealed. I genuinely had never felt as comfortable so quickly with another person as I did with Edward. I hadn't been comfortable in cars since the accident, so the fact that I had been able to fall asleep in the car with him, not once but twice, was a bit of a shock to me.

After a few minutes, Edward cleared his throat nervously, drawing me out of my reverie. "Seen as we're on the topic of people who don't let things go until they get their way, Alice asked me if you were mad at her."

"What?" I asked, a little stupidly. I hadn't expected that segue. "Why would she think that?" I wasn't mad at Alice, per se. But I definitely didn't feel comfortable around her yet. She'd been very overwhelming the only time I'd met her, and her eagerness only seemed to flair the tension that had been bubbling long before she'd arrived that evening.

"She said she gave you her phone number, but you never called her. She wanted to message you on Instagram or friend you on Facebook, but I told her to give you time and not hound you."

I set my fork down with a sigh. "I'm not mad at your sister. She was just… she had a lot of energy and, honestly, it was a bit much for me, especially that night. I don't know anyone like Alice, and I was kind of overwhelmed."

Edward nodded, but his brows were furrowed, and his lips turned down in a frown. "I feel like I've given you the wrong impression of Alice since we met. We weren't getting along, and I spent a lot of time complaining about how pushy she is. And while Alice is pushy, she's also extremely loyal and can be immensely thoughtful. She often does stuff without asking, which does feel like she's being controlling, but it's just her way of being supportive. What I can say about her is that she is equal parts intensely annoying and enormously caring."

Guilt began to simmer in my gut. I knew I wasn't being entirely fair to Alice. I hadn't given her a chance to prove my first impression of her wrong. But I couldn't shake the thought that all she saw me as was a brand-new shiny Maria doll.

"I wish it was just that. I just… It feels like she expects me to just, I don't know, slot right into the best friend role. I know she misses Maria and the connection they had. But I hope she understands we're not going to be exactly the same." I looked away from him because it suddenly felt like I wasn't just saying those words about Alice, but straight to him as well. "I just don't want her to be disappointed if we don't have the same sort of relationship she had with Maria."

Edward was quiet for nearly a minute, digesting what I'd said. "Bella, Alice knows you and Maria aren't going to be exactly the same. I hope you don't feel like we all just expect you to fill the hole Maria left. When I was little, my mom once said to me "love can't be replaced. Hearts just expand to make more room". You're not a replacement for what we've lost; you've made our lives richer by coming into them."

My eyes welled and I looked back at him to find him watching me intently. Edward reached over and placed his hand over mine on the table, rubbing his thumb across the back of it in comfort. As we looked at each other, I felt the pull in my chest tug at the flame in my belly.

"I hope you think about reaching out to Alice. She doesn't do anything halfway, and if you let her she would be there for you one hundred per cent."

I gave him a weak smile and pulled my hand out from under his, placing both of mine in my lap and away from the temptation to touch him some more.

"I will," I nodded. I promise.

~oOo~

"I don't know," I sighed, on the phone with Rose while I ate dinner on Wednesday night. "I feel guilty, I guess."

"You don't owe her anything, Bella," Rose said, matter-of-factly. "It shouldn't matter what her relationship was like with your sister. If you didn't like her, you shouldn't have to spend time with her."

"I don't really know Alice well enough to know if I like her or not. That night was already uncomfortable before she got there. It would have probably gone off track, even without her exuberance."

"So, you feel guilty because your first impression of her was bad?" Rose asked, sounding perplexed.

"No…" I drew out as I tried to gather my thoughts. "I guess I feel guilty because, well… Okay, what if the roles had been reversed, and it was Maria that was still alive and not me. I would want her to get to know Emmett and my dad, and you, and Jake if he was alive, too. I would want her to give you all a chance to find out why you loved me, and I loved you. And let's be honest, Dad and Emmett can both be suspicious hotheads and you can be a snarky bitch sometimes, so at least one of you would probably have needed a second chance."

I could practically feel Rose's eye roll through the phone. "Okay. So, what's holding you back?"

I groaned, twirling around a forkful of spaghetti on my plate. "It's like she already thinks we're going to be best friends, just like she was with Maria. She kept going on about Maria and I did this, and Maria and I did that. Like I'm just a replacement for the Maria-Barbie she lost."

Rose's exhale from the other end of the line did nothing to comfort me or assuage my feelings. "Alright. I can see your point," she started diplomatically. "But, by your own admonition, you don't know her enough to make a full assessment yet. How do you know that's what she wants? Maybe she wants to play Bella-Barbie. And how do you know you won't like it?"

She paused for a moment, either waiting for a response to any of her questions or giving me time to think about what she said. When Rose spoke again, I could hear the note of triumph in her voice. If there was one thing Rose loved, it was being right.

"And as a twin, I feel like I have a unique perspective to offer. You and Maria seem to be identical in more ways than just looks and have matching tastes in a lot of things. Why wouldn't that extend to the people in her life? You know, outside of her parents."

My mind drifted, as it often did, to Edward. My sister and I certainly had the same taste when it came to him. I was glad we weren't on a video chat because I would hate for Rose to see the blush that had taken over my face.

I sighed, frustrated at myself. "I know. You're right. I'm just being a baby and sulking because I felt completely railroaded. And it's not even all Alice's fault. It's just easier to blame her because she was caught in the middle. It's not her I'm angry at, so I shouldn't take it out on her."

"So, now that you've got your big girl pants on, what are you going to do?"

"Gee, Rose. you sure know how to be sensitive," I said sarcastically. Rose may be blunt, but she was always able to distract me or cheer me up.

"I'm a bleeding heart," Rose replied in a deadpan tone. "So?..."

I chewed on my lip as I pushed my half-eaten dinner away, no longer hungry. "Maybe I could meet her for coffee. She did say she wanted to try L(art)te after seeing my Instagram posts." I made my way into the living room, pulled the throw off the back of the sofa and wrapped myself up as I sunk down onto the cushions.

"Don't forget what Emmett said. He doesn't want you doing anything alone again," she said in warning. "I know it sounds like he's being an over-protective jackass, but I actually happen to agree with him this time."

"Seriously?" I grumbled. "I don't need a babysitter."

"Then stop being such a baby!" Rose said, her Texan twang coming out. "It's not babysitting, Bella. It's called support. We want to make sure that you always have someone in your corner."

I was silent for a moment as I tried to rein in my haywire emotions. Taking a deep breath, I collected myself. "Okay. Do you have any suggestions, seen as I have to make sure it will work with one of your schedules? I mean, Jasper would probably be happy to go with me to meet her for coffee after school… I don't know. I just think it would be so awkward. Like I can't sit and have a coffee with her without having an emotional support friend."

Rose hummed, thinking. "You said she got really excited about shopping, right? Well, I need some new clothes, since the babies have grown so much, and I want to get a few things for the nursery. How about you invite her to come with us on the weekend? Maybe it won't feel like a situation manufactured to include a babysitter if we have a purpose besides her getting to hang out with you?"

I thought about it for a moment, and it sounded like the best option. Not just because it meant that Emmet got his way, but because it would give me something to divert back to if I needed Alice's attention off me.

"That actually sounds like a pretty good plan," I said, sounding optimistic for the first time all evening.

"Of course, it does. It was my idea," Rose laughed, and I couldn't help but join in with her. "Send her a message, or an email, or whatever, and ask her. She sounds like she's so eager, she'll probably respond right away. Let me know what she says."

"I will, Rose. Thanks for everything, even if you can be harsh."

"Anytime, Babe," she said with a chuckle before hanging up.

~oOo~

Rose was right, and it took less than a minute to receive a message back from Alice.

B: Hi Alice. This Is Bella Swan. I wanted to see if you would like to hang out this weekend? My sister-in-law needs some maternity clothes and things for the nursery. Would you like to come with us?

A: OMG!!!!!! YES I totes would love to come!

I was in the middle of typing out my reply, letting her know which mall Rose and I were thinking we should go to when my phone started going off again.

A: I'm so excited!

A: What day are we going?

A: Is there a particular store you wanted to go to?

A: We should totally make it a girl's day and have lunch!

A: What sort of things does your sister-in-law need?

A: Are we doing shopping for you too?

I stopped and waited until I was sure Alice had finished. I didn't particularly feel like writing out text message after text message trying to keep up with her.

B: We were just thinking of going to Pacific Place on Saturday. I don't know what Rose needs for the nursery but she said she needs to get a whole lot of new clothes since her bump has gotten so big

A: A MALL!?!?!

A: But everything there will so generic!

A: I know somewhere we can go that has some really cute boutiques where we can get EVERYTHING we need and we won't need to step foot into the mall

I was just about to message her that I didn't think Rose and I were 'boutique' people. Seeing the Cullen's home had shown me the completely different world I lived in, which only further highlighted the huge disparity between Edward and I. However, before I could send the text, Alice messaged me again.

A: I'm sorry if that was pushy

A: I just know where the best shops are around the city and would love to show you one of my favorite places for grabbing some great deals

A: But we can go to the mall if you really want to. Whatever you prefer :)

It seemed like this was something much more important to Alice than it was to Rose or me. I knew it wouldn't matter to Rose where we went, as long as she could get what she needed. Edward had said Alice worked in fashion, so if going somewhere she chose would make her happy, who was I to stand in her way.

B: We don't have to go to the mall. Rose won't care. If you know somewhere nice, then we can totally go there

A: AWESOME!

A: This is going to be so great!

A: I can't wait to get to know you better :D

The trepidation and nerves I'd been feeling about meeting Alice began to wilt after reading her last message. She seemed so happy that I'd reached out, which made me wonder if she had been just as lost and lonely as Edward had been for the last year. It broke my heart to think of how much pain he had been in, so I could only hope that Alice had dealt with her loss better.

Her brother had quickly become an important part of my life. It was time I gave Alice the same opportunity.

So Bella is giving Alice a chance to redeem herself! I feel like we haven't gotten to see Alice's good side much yet. I know some of you in the comments aren't liking her. Next up will be the girls shopping trip, so hopefully i can change a few minds about her

Let me know what tou thought by leaving a review! I always love to hear from you guys!

Until next time, Lovelies xoxo