Taking Back the Crown

by JCMorrigan

Mozenrath. Archibald Snatcher. Roman Torchwick. Mad Madam Mim. Yzma. The Huntsman. Wuya. Ayam Aghoul. Their mission: take over the multiverse, or look fabulous trying. Rated M for swearing, steamy implications and VERY bloody battles. Contains slash and het shipping.

93. Supermassive Black Hole

After Discord vanished, the first thing anyone did – everyone did – was to rush to Fluttershy's aid, comforting her with words and a bit of touch. Telling her that Discord wasn't worth it, or, no, that he had lost his senses and would come back to them, or, no, that some things just didn't work out.

She stemmed her tears after the crowd of voices subsided, suggesting, "I think…we should focus on Sonia and Riku's problem now."

So it was determined. Mal and Lianna had said, cryptically, that they could be found where Luna's dreams took her, and, more specifically, "Where dreams go."

"There are at least fifty different meanings for that," Twilight muttered. "I wonder…"

"Even I am having trouble decoding that turn of phrase," Luna admitted.

"But you always have an idea when it comes to figuring out tough problems," Cadance reminded Twilight. "Is anything jumping out at you?"

"Hmm…" Twilight needed only to think on it a short while. "This is kind of a spell in the dark, but…what if we have to enter a dream in order to find them?"

"DUH, Princess Obvious," Rainbow Dash commented.

"Not just any dream," Twilight went on. "If there was some way we could all synchronize our dreams somehow so that we were all having the same dream. That would fence Mal and Lianna in a little. If there weren't that many dreams to hide in, we could track them down in our shared dream."

"That sounds about right to me," Riku agreed; he didn't know for certain, but his experience with diving into dreams seemed to jive with what Twilight was saying.

"It would be even better if we could somehow unite the entire world into one dream," Twilight went on. "That way, there would be only ONE realm to search. Of course, it would be as big as our planet, but that's still a smaller canvas than we'd have to work on otherwise."

"I've been to sleeping worlds that were taken by the Darkness and didn't come back all the way," Riku commented. "My Master even found a way to send me to one that was still in the realm of Light by playing with time and setting me back to its fall."

"I'm afraid that would be a considerably difficult trick to pull off with Equestria," Luna stated. "The closest it has come to falling to Darkness is the eternal night I almost brought to it, and even then, that is nothing like what your sleeping worlds have been through. And we certainly cannot plunge an entire world into Darkness for the sole purpose of finding two lost dreams. As for Twilight's theory, however, that is more plausible. The whole world cannot be united in a single dream…but I do have magic that can unite the dreams of a large area at a time. For instance, if we wanted to start out in Ponyville. I could weave all of Ponyville into a single dream overnight, and we could scour the town in a dreaming state. It would be similar to a sleeping world, but on a smaller scale, and the inhabitants of the dream would have far more control over their actions and reality."

"Then let's do it!" Pinkie cried, bouncing up and down.

"Yes, but how do we know where to look first?" Rarity asked. "Ponyville is only one of many, many significant locations in Equestria."

"We need some kind of clue," Twilight muttered. "A magical sign that – "

She cried out with a start; Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Applejack all did the same simultaneously.

"What is wrong?" Sonia asked in concern.

Twilight shifted so that the others could see her star-shaped Cutie Mark; it was radiating with a light that flashed its outline over her flank in ripples. "I've never seen this happen before!" Twilight cried.

"Does it hurt?" Cadance asked.

"No," Twilight replied. "It just kind of…tingles."

"Same thing's happenin' to me!" Applejack cried out.

"And me!" Rainbow Dash chimed in.

"Ohmygosh!" Pinkie gasped. "Now we can all join a club for ponies with glowing Cutie Marks!"

"That CAN'T be all this means," Rarity sighed.

A quick glance proved that all six of those who had reacted at the same time were experiencing the same phenomenon with their marks.

"Well, there's only one thing to do," Twilight said firmly. "We have to go back to my library and look through the books there to figure out what this means."

"Didn't you already read your whole library when you were looking for the Plunderseed cure?" Pinkie asked.

"When you work in a library for so long," Twilight replied, "you learn that the only way to get the research results you want is to avoid looking at things that obviously aren't related. I searched every topic that could be tangentially related to magical plants and worldwide curses. I didn't read anything about Cutie Marks. The answer is probably right under our noses."

"We need to make a stop back at Ponyville anyway," Rarity stated. "After all, Sonia needs a new dress DESPERATELY."

"And what about the welcoming party?" Pinkie added.

"We don't have time for a party," Luna said firmly.

This made Pinkie's eyes water; "B-but there's always time for a party…especially since our new friends came all the way here to a strange world where they're the only creatures like them…"

"I know I usually ain't one to mess around," Applejack argued, "but ain't nothin' like a Pinkie Pie party to lift a pony's spirits. Anytime we got business, lettin' Pinkie have some fun's paid off. Might be the thing we need to clear our heads an' think about this from a new angle."

Riku wondered what Sora would say in this situation. Then he realized he knew exactly what that would be. So he followed the example; "It couldn't hurt to goof off for just a little bit."

"I agree!" Sonia stated.

"Hmm…" Twilight thought it over. "We should probably split up if we want to fit everything into our schedule. Ideally, we would have our plan before nightfall if we want to use a united dream. That means we should start researching as soon as possible. Pinkie, whatever you're planning can be pulled off in any location, even if it's on the Ponyville Express to another town, so we'll save that for later. Getting Sonia some decent clothes should probably be a priority, so we'll split up in two groups. I'll take one half to the library while the other half goes to the Carousel Boutique with Rarity and Sonia."

"I'll go with you, Twilight," Riku said decisively. "I've dealt with a lot of kinds of magic. It would probably help you to have my eyes on what you're reading."

"I would make the same case for myself," Luna stated firmly, "and I would rather find the solution to our dilemma as quickly as possible."

"Time to get down to business!" Rainbow Dash cried. "Also, no offense, but I'm not really interested in hangin' around the boutique and watching you make a frilly dress."

"Oh, none taken, dear," Rarity said sincerely, knowing Rainbow Dash's interests (and lack thereof) well.

"Ain't my scene, either," Applejack stated. "Now, I don't know much 'bout magic, but I'd still like to lend a hoof any way I can lookin' for the clues 'bout why our Cutie Marks are actin' this way. I'll go to the library with y'all."

"It sounds like you five will have the research covered," Cadance said. "I'll go to the boutique and keep Rarity and Sonia company."

"Dressmaking sounds like waaaaay more fun than research!" Pinkie agreed. "Though research can be fun if you do it right!"

"Fluttershy?" Rainbow Dash asked tentatively. "Whaddaya think?"

"I…" Fluttershy swallowed hard. "I'd rather go to the boutique." She offered no explanation. No one bothered her for one.

"That's exactly half and half!" Twilight said, satisfied.

"There is, however, the matter of introducing our new friends to Ponyville," Luna pointed out. "I should go ahead of you and speak to Mayor Mare on the matter. Once I have disclosed our situation, then the rest of you can enter the town's borders."

"We've got a plan!" Twilight declared. "Now let's put it in action!"

"Hang on," Riku broke in. "Before we go, I just have to fix something."

He summoned an item from his magically-stowed inventory: a keychain in the shape of three rapiers crossed. He swapped it onto his Keyblade, changing the weapon into a blue-hilted key with a golden fleur-de-lis as the teeth. The All for One Keyblade was a little garish, but it was a far cry better than the clunky monstrosity Discord had given Riku.

"Oh, MUCH more refined!" Rarity cried.

"NOW we can go," Riku declared.

Through the forest they forged, having a bit easier of a time of it now that the Plunderseed vines were cleared out. From there, they waited at the wood's edge for Luna to fly on ahead to the home of someone Riku and Sonia had been informed was named "Mayor Mare."

"Looks like we've got some time to kill," Riku pointed out once Luna had gone up, up, and away.

"Wanna play Twenty Questions?" Pinkie suggested. "Or I Spy? Or Guess What Number I'm Thinking? Or canasta?"

"How're we gonna play canasta without any ca – " Applejack began.

Pinkie Pie not only had a deck of cards between her forehooves, but using only those appendages, she was shuffling the deck.

"Right," Applejack said with a smile. "Don't question it."

A sudden sniffle got everyone's attention; Fluttershy stood off to the side of the group, head turned away, face hidden behind a curtain of pastel-pink mane.

"Oh, dear…" Rarity said sympathetically. "I do wish there were something more we could do to cheer you up, Fluttershy. I can hardly stand seeing you so distraught."

"Next time I see Discord," Twilight said through gritted teeth, "he is getting an earful."

"It's just…" Fluttershy turned back to face the others, eyes misty with tears but a smile working its way through. "I know our friendship was real. And I believe there really is good in Discord, and he just needs to reach deep down and find it."

"How many chances did we even GIVE that guy?" Rainbow Dash groaned. "I finally bought it that he wasn't that bad, and he goes and does this! Nope! No more! That's the last time I trust HIM!"

"But if he were really all that evil," Fluttershy protested, "I would know. When I looked into his eyes, I just…knew what I was seeing. If I could just talk to him a little longer, I could help him realize what he has the potential to be. Or maybe what he already is and just won't admit."

"Hmm." Riku thought it over, raising a hand to his chin. "That does sound familiar. A long time ago, I went down a pretty dark road. My boyfriend – Sora – he remembered who I really was, and he never lost faith in that. He never stopped trying to bring me back. If it hadn't been for him, I don't know that I ever would have come back. It could be that Discord needs someone to remember him for who he really is." His frown deepened. "On the other hand, I've known a lot of people who were too far gone to save at all." He couldn't help thinking of Claude Frollo, and how Phoebus had thought the man could be salvaged from thoughts of literal genocide. Briefly, Riku wondered where Phoebus was now – that world's sleep had set it back quite some time, and much had to have happened since waking. "In the end, it's hard to say, because I never knew Discord. Whether or not he comes back from the Darkness – whether or not there's anything to come back to – depends on him. I may not have been able to come back without Sora believing in me, but the decision had to be my own. If you believe in Discord and there's a part of him that wants to come back, then there might be a chance. But if you believe in him and he would rather choose Darkness, you can't change his mind."

"Pardon my interruption," Rarity commented, "but that is a WONDERFUL story regarding your paramour. I take it that's how you two fell in love?"

Riku gave a slight laugh. "That's how I realized I loved him. It took him a bit longer to figure it out on his end. Sora's…the oblivious type."

"Say no more," Rarity responded. "I am WELL aware of the sort."

"What do you think, Sonia?" Fluttershy asked. "It is good to hear what this looks like from the outside."

"I do not blame you for wanting to find the good in your friend," Sonia informed her. "There are many friends of mine who have done absolutely terrible things…" Peko. Mikan. Gundham, Gundham, so many times Gundham. "…But I know they are good people who want to make up for the wrong they have done, and so I am willing to forgive them. All the same, there are people out there who kill mercilessly, and nothing can be done to persuade them that what they have done is wrong. They think they are acting in the name of…sparkling justice. And…"

Images in her mind. Her friends darting around the islands, frightened to death, searching for a bomb that didn't exist.

"There is one person who I once thought I could call a friend, but…"

The sound of the Imposter crying out as he was impaled again and again, accidentally mistaken for another target.

"I will never…"

Kazuichi peeling himself off the floor after the first bomb had gone off; Sonia abandoning her frustrations with his affections in a blind fear that he'd been blasted to death.

"…ever…"

The last look on Chiaki's face before the block dropped on her, obliterating her in a splatter of blood now known to not even be real.

"…EVER FORGIVE HIM!"

Now it was Sonia who was crying. "It seems now you must forgive me," she said softly. "I was raised to be stronger than this, I – I cannot say what sort of person Discord is. Riku's judgment is far better than my own."

"Fluttershy," Twilight said softly, "I really hate to say this, but I don't think Discord is – "

"He IS good!" Fluttershy snapped, rounding on Twilight with an anger that to Riku and Sonia seemed an unbelievable contrast to her usual demeanor. "He IS my friend! And I'm GOING to fix everything between ALL of us!"

Her sharp tone left a silence over the field.

"Sorry," she squeaked.

"It's okay!" Cadance said hurriedly. "Nopony blames you for having strong feelings about this. I think we all do."

"All I have to do is be his Sora," Fluttershy asserted. "But, um…without the falling-in-love part."

"Wait," Rainbow Dash said in confusion. "You DON'T have a thing for Discord?"

"She does, dear," Rarity asserted. "She's simply in self-denial about it."

"But I don't," Fluttershy said, "and I'm really not."

"Which is exactly what a pony in denial would say," Rarity argued.

"If she says she don't like 'im like that," Applejack retorted, "then she don't like 'im like that."

"Well, sor-ry," Rainbow Dash huffed. "It just started to feel like a pattern that all my friends had crushes on big evil villains."

Twilight proceeded to smack her head against a tree repeatedly.

Thankfully, Luna arrived to defuse the situation. "I have explained the situation to Mayor Mare," she explained, "and we have in turn briefed the citizens of Ponyville on what to expect. You may now all walk its streets freely. Take care, however. Though I have it on good faith that you will not be accosted, ponies here often need time to acclimate to things they find strange."

"We will be ready!" Sonia asserted.

The ponies Luna had referred to lined the streets to gawk at the two humans parading down the road with their celebrated heroes. They came in all colors, with manes in all shapes, appearing from between quaintly painted wooden buildings. A mint-green unicorn with a white-streaked mane whispered something to her cream-colored companion, whose own mane was split between navy blue and cotton-candy pink; the latter gave the former a rough shove, indicating that the unicorn had said something well-intentioned but all the same off-color about the humans. Nopony dared approach.

"Y'ALL WANNA TAKE A PICTURE?" Applejack yelled at the throng of onlookers after a few blocks. "IT'LL LAST LONGER!"

The immediate response to this was a flash and a click before a printout photo emerged from the camera looped around the neck of a thin white colt with tiny white wings and a chestnut-brown mane.

"Well, can't fault 'im for bein' a good listener," Applejack relented.

"Don't worry about it," Riku said. "I don't mind." Even though he did mind.

"Let's just split up and take care of our business," Twilight urged. "The next turn is where the divergence point is for the closest route to the Carousel Boutique and the closest route to the library. I don't know about you, but I'm about ready to pop from not knowing what these glowing Cutie Marks mean!"

The previously assigned teams split up at the fork.

Riku was awed by the sight of Twilight's castle. "THAT'S where you live?" he cried in astonishment.

"To tell you the truth, it's a little overkill," Twilight informed him, "but I guess that's what you get when you become the official Princess of Friendship."

"Princess of Friendship, huh," Riku repeated. "I'm guessing Celestia and Luna had something to do with that title."

"Actually, Princess Twilight chose the role for herself," Luna explained. "She had questioned her purpose in this world, and after the defeat of Tirek, when she realized it was only through teamwork that her victory could be achieved, she formed her own destiny."

Tirek. The monster that Discord had loved, even if he wouldn't let Riku say it. Riku let his eyes wander up over the sight of the library. "But you at least designed this place, right?"

"The Tree of Harmony generated it for Twilight once harmony was returned to the land following Tirek's defeat," Luna corrected. "Neither my sister nor I had any hoof in the matter."

"That seems kinda odd," Riku mused. "Twilight picked her own destiny, but the tree designed an entire castle for her."

"What's wrong with that?" Applejack asked. "Ain't ya allowed ta pick yer own destiny?"

"It's pretty rad," Rainbow Dash said with a nod.

"Everyone picks their own destiny," Riku corrected. "Sort of. It's just…how would the Tree of Harmony know exactly what Twilight had in mind? And why would it give her something like this? Especially if she thinks it's overkill."

"That's one of the many mysteries of magic I'm still trying to figure out," Twilight said excitedly, thrilled by the chase of the missing pieces of the puzzle. "But spreading the magic of friendship is what I KNOW I was meant to do. Learning to connect to other ponies helped me realize how much my life was missing, and ever since we all met, I've wanted to help others experience the same thing."

"You REALLY need to meet Sora," Riku laughed.

Once inside, Twilight led Riku, Luna, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash to the section of the library devoted to Cutie Marks. "Everypony grab as many books as you can!" she declared. "We'll bring 'em all to the conference room for a study session!"

"Uggghhh," Rainbow Dash groaned, "this is a serious mission involving lost friends, mysterious dreams, visitors from other worlds, and funky Cutie Marks. How did you manage to make it sound boring?"

"Now, don't knock it 'till ya've tried it," Applejack reprimanded. "Sittin' down and lookin' over the cold, hard information oughta give us a new perspective."

Without any added comment, Luna flew up to the highest shelves and began levitating promising-looking volumes down to the others.

Twilight magically lifted two books off the shelves, looking between them pensively before deciding she wanted to peruse both. Rainbow Dash zipped down the hallway to another section entirely before returning with a book that didn't look at all related to the cause.

"While we're here," Rainbow Dash said, "maybe we should talk about some books that are actually, y'know, fun." She looked Riku in the eye; "So. Are you an action-adventure book kinda stallion?"

Riku bit back a laugh at being referred to as a "stallion." No doubt it was the proper choice of words in this culture, but it just didn't fit him at all. When he was ready to speak with a straight face, he said, "Depends on the book."

"Here." Rainbow Dash pushed the small hardcover book at him. "You'll thank me later."

"Rainbow Dash!" Twilight snapped. "Did you just lend out a book from MY library?"

"Did I?" Rainbow Dash repeated. "Oh. Oops. Check with Twilight if – "

Twilight had already approached to see what book Rainbow Dash had selected, letting out a deep gasp. "DARING DO AND THE QUEST FOR THE SAPPHIRE STONE! RIKU, YOU HAVE TO READ THAT ONE! AND YOU HAVE TO LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT EVERY DETAIL!" Her eyes glittered.

Riku turned the book over in his hands, reading the summary. It concerned an adventurous pony traversing many obstacles to rescue a treasure that carried the fate of the world with it while a sinister villain threatened from the shadows. Promising, so far. "I'll give it a try," Riku stated.

"We did not come here for recreation," Luna said brusquely from the top shelves. "If that is your desire, you may join the others at the Carousel Boutique."

"Sorry!" Twilight cried, heading back to the shelf. Rainbow Dash also flitted up high, not really knowing what she was looking for and so picking up simply as many consecutive tomes as she could carry.

Riku scanned the shelf. A lot of the books here looked to be similar in shape and size, differing only a little in thickness. Higher up, on the very top of the shelf – which was twice Riku's height and then some – he spotted a black leather book, extremely thick, with gold lettering that read "CUTIE MARKS: A HISTORY."

"That looks promising," Riku muttered before casting his gaze about for a ladder. Finding none, he resolved to use certain Keybearer tricks to get to the top.

Before he could pull out any moves that were too flashy, Applejack was by his side, having noticed his concern. "You lookin' for somethin', sugar cube?"
"Sugar cube" was perhaps even less fitting than "stallion." "That book up there," Riku said, pointing. "It stands out."

"No problem!" Applejack said cheerily. She made an about-face, kicking her hind legs out toward the shelf.

Upon contact with her hooves, the shelf wobbled slightly; then the exact book Riku had indicated toppled, landing neatly on Applejack's back. Applejack then proceeded to lean her head down beside a stack of books that she'd gathered beforehand, picking up the bottom book in her teeth and lifting the whole stack, taller than her height and probably substantial in weight, up to settle atop the tome on her back.

"You're really strong," Riku said in awe.

"Ain't nothin'," Applejack replied, flattered. "This is practically a piece of cinnamon-caramel apple cake compared to what I do on the farm every day."

"You live on a farm?" Riku said, curiosity buzzing. "What's that like?"

"Pretty hard work," Applejack replied proudly. "Lots to be done. Good thing all us Apples pitch in to get it done. With me on world-savin' duty, I've had to have my family pick up the slack a bit. I gotta return the favor once I get a chance."

"You and your family are close?" Riku asked.

Applejack nodded. "Real close." She could read the implication: he was more distant from his own family. She knew better than to ask about it.

"It sounds nice," Riku said, confirming Applejack's suspicion. "What do you grow there?"

"Why, loads an' loads of apples!" Applejack said with a beam. "Ain't nopony in all of Equestria can beat the Apple family for apple treats of all kinds! If'n we get the time, I gotta bring ya 'round an' fix up whatever your favorite is. Big Mac, Granny Smith, an' Apple Bloom're gonna love ya!"

"I'd like that," Riku said sincerely.

"All right," Twilight declared once she and Luna had amassed clouds of floating books and Rainbow Dash struggled to keep volumes from slipping out of the cluster in her forelegs, "to the conference room! Let's get these pages organized!"

Riku realized, then, that the only book he held was the copy of the Daring Do story. Feeling a little guilty at not having contributed quite so much as the others, he followed the procession into the conference room.

The room in question was a large, round open space. A circular tile was inset at the center of the floor, and seven tall marble-white chairs fashioned in the design of thrones ringed it, six of which were equidistantly spaced. The tile was marked with an eight-pointed star that reflected the six-pointed version that adorned Twilight's flank, still gleaming.

Twilight took a seat in a throne that Riku noticed had an emblem inset to match her Cutie Mark. Once she sat down, the emblem took on a faint glow. It was then that Riku began to catch on; looking around, he saw that the other chairs were marked with a rainbow-colored lightning bolt, a trinity of diamonds, a cluster of balloons – the symbols he'd seen marking the other five of Twilight's inner circle. The only chair missing an emblem was a smaller throne set right next to Twilight's chair.

"Whose seat is that?" Riku asked as Twilight magically spread the books out over the circular floor tile.

"That seat is for somepony very special," Twilight answered. "It – "

A youthful-sounding voice suddenly rang out: "TWILIGHT! Did you hear? There are strange creatures from another world right here in Ponyville!"

Riku turned to see Spike enter the room, running toward Twilight as quickly as he could. "Everypony's talking about it!" the tiny dragon continued. "They say they're tall creatures that only walk on two legs and – "

He halted dead in his tracks upon realizing that one of those "creatures" was in the room with him. Then he fell over backward with a "WAAAAGH!", startled by Riku's appearance.

"Spike," Twilight said calmly, "this is our new friend, Riku. Riku, this is Spike. He's who the chair next to me is for. He's…well…I'd call him a friend, but really, Spike's more like my family."

"Aw, shucks, Twilight…" Spike stood up, dusting himself off. "Sorry for freakin' out. It's just not every day I see somepony who looks like you."

"It's not every day I see a dragon," Riku countered. "Guess we were both surprised today."

"Wanna help us figure out our problem?" Twilight asked Spike.

"Uhhh…I guess?" Spike replied. "What's the problem?"

"The problem's this here glowin' on our Cutie Marks," Applejack indicated.

"Whoa." Spike looked from Applejack's mark to Rainbow Dash's to Twilight's. "That is weird." Then to Luna's. "How come yours isn't doing that, Luna?"

"I am not sure," Luna admitted. "It must be some connection to the Elements of Harmony."

"But we don't even wield the Elements anymore," Twilight argued.

"Yeah," Rainbow Dash said as she settled down in the chair marked with three diamonds. "We switched over to that whole rainbow thing. Which I still don't really get, but who am I to complain about rainbows?" She dropped her books haphazardly on top of Twilight's.

Luna's and Applejack's books were added to the pile. "Where d'ya reckon we start?" Applejack said as she clambered into the seat with three butterflies at its zenith.

"Well," Twilight said, thinking it over, "obviously, we're looking for obscure knowledge, so we can probably safely pass by the basics. I think – "

"What would happen if you sat in the matching seats?" Riku asked, interrupting.

"Huh?" Rainbow Dash cocked her head.

"The chairs," Riku informed her. "Look at the marks on them. They match yours. Now look at the mark on Twilight's chair."

Twilight twisted about to look up at her chair's adornment. "Huh? It's GLOWING!"

"What if Applejack and Rainbow Dash switched to the seats with their marks?" Riku asked.

The two mentioned exchanged glances before doing as Riku said and taking the seats with the matching marks. The emblems on the chairs lit up brightly once that was done.

"Well done," Luna told Riku. "You've observed a pattern."

"Symbols are important," Riku replied. "A lot of the magic users I know mark places with the symbols for spells that are supposed to be used on them, like carving a flame into a door that can only be opened with fire."

"Pretty sure EVERY door can be opened with fire," Rainbow Dash said with a grin.

"Ya just can't close it after," Applejack said smugly.

"I can't believe I didn't notice!" Twilight cried, appalled.

"Something must happen once all six are seated in their proper places," Luna deduced.

"We need the others!" Twilight realized.

"What's the boutique look like?" Riku asked, calling his Keyblade to hand. "If I know what I'm looking for, I'll be able to get there the fastest."

"WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!" Rainbow Dash shot up out of her seat, zooming directly in front of Riku's face and hovering there. "Since when are YOU the fastest? You just go normal speed! Have you been paying ANY attention to me? I can get to the boutique and back in a blink!"

Riku smirked. "I'm willing to take you up on that challenge."

"Oh yeah? It's so on!"

"Ya done did it now!" Applejack cried. "Ain't nopony can outrun Rainbow Dash's flyin'! Ain't nopony can outfly her, either!"

"We'll see about that," Riku stated cockily. Now might be the perfect time, all in the name of fun, to break out a little trick Yen Sid had taught him during training sessions.

Outside the library, Riku tossed the All for One Keyblade into the air, where it shimmered before coming back down as a sleek black skimmer with batlike wings carved for aerodynamics. This was apparently a skill of Keyblade masters of old, one they used to travel from world to world before the advent of Gummi ships. The skimmers were meant to go hand-in-hand with magical armor meant to protect the pilot from interspace's hazards, the same armor Merlin had fashioned Kazuichi's Gummi suit after, but the real deal would take time to enchant and tune to each pupil, so Riku couldn't call up the accompanying attire. He mounted his skimmer, lifting it off the ground to match Rainbow Dash's height.

"Technically, using a…thing like that is cheating," Rainbow Dash told him, "but I'm gonna let it slide just 'cause I know I can beat ya even with that…weird thing."

"You wish!" Riku called back.

"ON YOUR MARK!" Twilight called out from a tower window, and both racers tensed. "GET SET…GO!"

The Keyblade skimmer and the rainbow pegasus burst forth, making a beeline for the white, cake-like building that was the Carousel Boutique.

When the second team had arrived earlier, Pinkie Pie had burst right through the door and begun to bounce around the room, singing a perky song she'd made up off the cuff: "I have a new friend, she's called Sonia Nevermind! A better friend you will never, ever find! I hope as a friend, she will stay forever mine! Since she's a princess, her steps are feather-light!"

Sonia couldn't help but smile, finding something heartwarmingly familiar in Pinkie's energy. A loud voice, outpourings of emotion, bright pink hair –

Oh. That was why.

"Right this way, dear!" Rarity encouraged. "Step lightly, now. There are pins on the floor, and while you are wearing very sensible shoes with soles that would protect your…hooves?...I still wouldn't want any accidents."

There were more items than just pins on the floor. Rarity's studio was littered with measuring tapes, bolts of fabric, scissors, stray sequins, ribbons, and so much more that the eye couldn't take it all in at once. Sonia, Fluttershy, and Cadance hopped around the few bare patches of floor there were left to get to the center. (Pinkie wasn't even looking where she was bouncing and yet managed to avoid stepping on anything.)

"All right," Rarity resolved. "Thus begins my biggest challenge yet. Let us BEGIN!"

She levitated a tape measure with her horn, taking Sonia's measurements casually and quickly. Sonia thought to look, then, at exactly how bad her outfit situation was. When had she gained all of those rips and tears? What were all of those stains?

"Now, I must ask," Rarity said as she multitasked, levitating a pencil to jot numbers on a sheet of paper while the tape measure continued its work. "Have you any sort of special interests that I can work into the design? Hobbies, favorite colors, the like?"

"Well…I…uhm…" Sonia faltered. Something came to mind, something Discord had reminded her of, and she knew she couldn't say it.

"Oh! Of course," Rarity realized. "You ARE a princess. That gives me all I need to know."

Cadance gave a little laugh. "Not every princess has the same interests, Rarity."

"It may as well be my defining characteristic," Sonia admitted, glad to be off the topic of things she enjoyed when not tied to her royal title. "Being the Ultimate Princess was my talent at Hope's Peak Academy."

"At what the where now?" Pinkie stopped bouncing to ask.

"I think I remember this," Cadance recalled. "Kazuichi said something about it – it was a school for talented students?"

"Only the very best at what they did," Sonia explained while Rarity measured and cut fabric.

"You had said blue, earlier," Rarity interrupted. "Does that still hold water? And how would you feel about some pink accents?"

"That sounds lovely," Sonia answered. "The thing about Hope's Peak was that only the ultimate student at any given talent was recruited. Recruitment was the only way to be enrolled. I was there on exchange, as my homeland was not Japan, but I was still regarded as the Ultimate Princess, so my records were transferred and I was enrolled. After all, Japan does not have princesses in its government to begin with."

"That was all they saw you as?" Cadance said in awe. "Just…the Ultimate Princess?"

"Is that wrong?" Sonia asked.

"Being a princess is…just a title," Cadance stated. "Who you are and what you're talented at is just a part of that. Celestia is the princess of the sun, Luna is the princess of the moon, I'm not only the princess of the Crystal Empire but also of love, and Twilight chose to be the princess of friendship. Those are our talents. Not only that, but Twilight embodied the Element of Magic before she was crowned. That's why our Cutie Marks are what they are. A sun for Celestia, a moon for Luna, the Crystal Heart for me, and Twilight's star represents magic in Cutie Mark language."

"I…suppose I am still trying to figure out who I am," Sonia admitted. "I have many things to think through."

"Like what?" Pinkie asked. "Like clouds? I like thinking about clouds. Or the wheels on carts. You ever think about how many times in a day they go around? Or what it would be like to be a carrot and spend all your life underground in the dirt until one day – POP! You're above ground!"

Sonia smiled. "Those are much more pleasant things to think about. I would rather not discuss mine."

Before Rarity could protest that it seemed Sonia's background was crucial knowledge, Cadance stepped in: "We respect your need to keep some things private."

Rarity changed topics: "So these…ultimate talents. They sound rather like our Cutie Marks."

"You get your marks from discovering your talent, right?" Sonia recalled.

"Righty-o!" Pinkie confirmed.

"And Cadance has just said she is the Ultimate Love Expert," Sonia extrapolated.

"Well, I don't know about EXPERT," Cadance said sheepishly.

"Then, Pinkie Pie, you must be the Ultimate Party Planner," Sonia deduced.

"Wait for iiiiiit…" Pinkie began to assemble as many objects from around the room as she could, stacking them up into a precarious tower before tilting her head upward and placing the entire kit and caboodle on her snout.

"Pinkie, what are you doing?" Fluttershy asked.

"I'm using all this stuff," Pinkie explained, "to demonstrate that Sonia…is ON THE NOSE!"

One could practically hear the rimshot.

"You'll note that puns AREN'T the source of her Cutie Mark," Rarity sighed.

"And you are…the Ultimate Fashion Designer?" Sonia guessed.

"Well, now," Rarity replied, "I wouldn't say ULTIMATE, though I do have quite a few friends that WOULD describe me that way, and, well, if the shoe fits - !"

"What about you, Fluttershy?" Sonia asked. "What is your talent?"

"Oh, I, uh…" Fluttershy was still getting used to these new friends, and found herself still quite timid in Sonia's presence. "I'm…I'm very good with animals and taking care of them."

"That is a good talent," Sonia commented, her eyes flicking to the triple butterflies on Fluttershy's flank, still mysteriously glowing. "In fact, I had a very good friend – " No. She couldn't talk about him like it was already over. "I HAVE a very good friend whose talent is similar. I do wish you could meet him – "

She stopped herself before she could end up crying.

Cadance knew exactly who Sonia meant. "One day," she promised, "we'll have the chance."

Eventually, Rainbow Dash kicked in the door, yelling, "HA! BEAT YOU BY TEN SECONDS!"

Riku charged in after her, laughing. "Gimme a week to practice piloting," he told her, "and that's not gonna happen again!"

"Oh yeah? You wanna BET?"

"It sounds like you two are having some fun," Cadance laughed.

"This is serious business!" Rainbow Dash asserted, though the smile on her face said otherwise.

"How are the new clothes going?" Riku asked, noting that Sonia was nowhere in the vicinity.

"The final verdict approaches!" Rarity announced. "I do believe I have outdone myself. My first ever design for a human being, and it simply radiates elegance!"

Sonia stepped out from behind a pink changing screen, clad in her new attire. The striking blue dress had a full skirt, as though Sonia were due to attend a royal ball; its neckline was high but cut flatteringly, the sleeves puffed out. Light pink lace festooned every hem.

"That…" Riku was at a loss for words. "It's…"

"Gorgeous?" Rarity prompted, eyes sparkling. "In line with current trends? Befitting a princess?"

"…not gonna be practical if any more enemies show up," Riku concluded.

"You silly stallion!" Pinkie laughed. "What other bad guys are gonna show up NOW?"

"Well, um…" Fluttershy reminded her. "We didn't even know the Storm King was out there before he became a problem…and there are those strange creatures that came for the Crystal Heart…oh, and there's still Mozenrath."

No one wanted to mention Discord.

"I do not think we have much to worry about," Sonia said confidently. She felt a sense of peace emanating from this entire world – the bright colors, the quirky inhabitants, the readiness of her guides to become friends with her despite not knowing her darkest secrets. This was the sort of world she felt she should probably stick to, the sort of aesthetic she needed to mold her life after. Positivity, pastels, and musical numbers. No more blood, no more gore, no more tragedy…

And no one need know of what she had loved before. She needed to stay out of the horrors of the morally decrepit once and for all.

"My goodness," Rarity cried, "I almost forgot the finishing touch!"

She had brushed out Sonia's hair to smoothness earlier, removing the braided segment. Now she called up a thick black ribbon embellished with rhinestones, looping it around Sonia's blonde locks and forming them into a simple ponytail before tying a wide bow. It reminded Sonia of the bow she used to like wearing with her school uniform at Hope's Peak.

"Ugh, there's no more time for that!" Rainbow Dash cried. "Riku figured something out!"

"Figured what out?" Fluttershy asked.

"Y'know those weird chairs in Twilight's conference room?" Rainbow Dash reminded the group. "You ever notice how they have our Cutie Marks on 'em? 'Cause I sure didn't until Riku pointed it out."

"It could have something to do with why your marks are glowing," Riku clarified. "I want to see if anything happens if everyone is in the right seat."

"That sounds worth a try!" Cadance said optimistically.

"Then let's stop burnin' daylight!" Rainbow Dash urged.

Back in the conference room, all eight ponies, two humans, and one dragon were assembled around the pile of books Twilight had created. "I thought you came here to do research," Pinkie pointed out. "Not build a book fort. Though building a book fort sounds like way more fun!"

"This isn't a book fort!" Twilight sighed. "I wanted to read all of these!"

"I thought we were in a HURRY, dear," Rarity sighed.

"Well, we might be spared the time if Riku's theory leads to anything," Twilight pointed out. "Everypony, find your chair and take a seat."

She clambered into her star-marked throne. Spike, though not necessary to the equation, still took his place in the smaller chair beside her. Pinkie Pie bounded into the chair marked with the balloons. Fluttershy settled down in a seat below three butterflies. Rarity arranged herself beneath the trio of diamonds. Applejack plopped onto the seat below the threefold apples. Rainbow Dash completed the equation by parking in the throne embossed with a rainbow lightning bolt.

"All right," Rainbow Dash commented, "there better be some fireworks – "

On cue, the emblems atop the thrones each emitted a beam of light, pouring in a multicolored array over the book-covered circular tile.

The entire room then began to shake; Riku wobbled, Sonia clutched Cadance for balance, and Luna simply stood still as though nothing were amiss. Rocks of the same pure white material as the thrones erupted from the floor, forming trails that met in the middle; the books were thrown aside by a burst of magic, pages fluttering as they rained around the edges of the conference room. A disc spun into existence where the rocks met, twirling and growing until it had formed a tabletop.

It all made sense, Twilight realized, though she didn't voice the conclusion out loud: what sense where chairs arranged in a circle with no table?

When the rumbling ceased, the table had established itself, stretching out to meet all six chairs. Its top had a solid flat surface, but a magical projection formed the image of an immense map across it, making it look lumpy with mountains, valleys and metropolises.

"It is a map of all Equestria," Luna realized, eyes wide.

"I like it!" Spike commented.

"It really is all of Equestria," Twilight said reverently. "Everything from Rainbow Falls to Yakyakistan…"

"To my rock farm!" Pinkie lay her nose down on the map to get eye-to-eye with an image of a bare-looking farmland. "Hi, Mom and Dad!"

Riku tried to ignore the fact that she'd just said the words "rock farm."

Next, from each of the six's glowing Cutie Marks, copies of the images depicted in each mark surged forth; the marks stopped glowing. The projections of the six emblems met over the table, Twilight's star in the center and the other five rotating around it. They lowered to hover over what was clearly –

"PONYVILLE!" the six gasped.

"Y'think that's markin' where we are?" Applejack asked. "Kind of a y'all-are-here deal?"

"No," Twilight said, shaking her head. "Why would the map tell us where we already were? There isn't a copy of this map anywhere else – to our knowledge, anyway. We'd KNOW where we were. I think the map is telling us where we need to go."

"Need to go?" Fluttershy repeated. "For what?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Twilight responded. "To find Mal and Lianna."

Riku gasped.

"So it actually was Ponyville we needed to put into the dream!" Pinkie chirped. "Lucky guess! Go us!"

"This does save us some time," Twilight remarked.

"We still will have work to do," Luna stated. "If we are going to unite Ponyville in a dream for the specific purpose of assisting Riku in finding another human…we will have to get its residents more acclimated to the humans' presence."

"We could probably just take it slower around town until nightfall," Cadance suggested. "Introduce the townspeople to Riku and Sonia one by one."

"What about my party?" Pinkie asked. "Can't we have at least a half hour of party?"

"Yes, we can!" Twilight crowed. "What we need is a detailed itinerary that lists everywhere we need to go and how much time we have to do it."

"And if there's anypony who can put together the best itinerary possible," Spike asserted, "it's Twilight Sparkle!"

"All right, everypony!" Twilight called out. "Hit me with the list of where we need to go!"

The answers came pouring out:

"Should prob'ly show 'em Sweet Apple Acres – "

"It isn't that I want a spa visit, but the spa is an important part of Ponyville infrastructure – "

"Lots of ponies hang out at Café Hay – "

Twilight took note of these locations, mapping out a route in her mind. There would be just enough time left in the day.

...

The RLS Unstoppable was enchanted to stay on course. That left its three occupants free to roam the deck as they pleased. Maleficent chose to stand at the prow, eyes fixed ahead. Though Hades wasn't sure exactly what she was looking at, he did appreciate how she had her mind on the future. Yes, she could hold a grudge for a millennium and more, but the chains of the past never held her back.

He stood a good distance away, watching Maleficent reverently and hardly noticing Hans' presence until the latter was standing directly next to the god.

"Gotta say I don't know what you see in her," Hans sighed, "but it's your life."

A brief orange glow washed over Hades. "Watch it, Prince Charming, or it's man-overboard."

"Did we forget that I'm your ticket to getting into the dragon's lair?" Hans reminded him.

Hades gave an exasperated sigh. "Okay. I'm going to trust you on this one, against my better judgment. Now, what's my first move?"

"Here's the thing about women," Hans explained. "On the surface, they might all have different features, different quirks, different interests, but when you get down to the core, every woman is the same. And winning a woman's heart is ridiculously easy. Maleficent is a woman, therefore, the things that won over Anna and Zelda are going to win her over to you."

"Nice exposition dump," Hades grunted, "but not an answer to my question: WHAT. DO I. DO."

"Gifts," Hans said quickly. "Women are fools for gifts. Especially jewelry. The more expensive the necklace is, the more she'll think you love her. Also, you need to compare some part of her to the gift. If it's a diamond necklace, that one's easy: it's her eyes. Every woman wants to have diamond eyes. Of course, I'm pretty sure you don't happen to have a diamond necklace in your pocket – "

Hades twirled his hand in midair; smoke swirled through his long, bony fingers and solidified into a chain of glimmering gemstones. "You were saying?"

"…Okay, you've got this," Hans said, clapping Hades on the back enthusiastically.

"Don't…don't do that," Hades grumbled before approaching Maleficent.

When Hades first took his place beside her, Maleficent did not react. She stared dead ahead, as though one of her closest confidantes was not in fact in close physical proximity to her. Hades was disappointed but ultimately not surprised. Her cold attitude was one of those little things that fanned his heart's flame. He cleared his throat loudly, and still Maleficent was statue-still. "So, Malef," Hades began. "Nice night. Day? It's day. Or is it? Is there actually any concept of day and night out here? I mean, back home, it's day when Helios says it is and night when – "

"I sense there is a point beyond this," Maleficent said curtly, "and demand you arrive at it."

"Well, it's just – we've been in this conquest gig for a long time now, haven't we?" Hades sputtered. "Don't answer that. That was rhetorical. But you an' me, we've been a real team, and I just wanted you to know that…drumroll please…"

He presented the necklace with a flourish. Maleficent finally turned her head to regard the trinket in Hades' hands.

"For you, babe," he declared. "My partner in crime. Because it…" These words were not natural to him. He preferred to drop pickup lines rather than present actual sentiment, but he knew that strategy wasn't going to work. He had to trust Hans on this one. "…looks like your eyes. You've got diamond eyes, babe."

Maleficent scowled at Hades. "I have amassed the treasures of hundreds of worlds," she said coldly, "and you think to impress me with a string of ordinary diamonds, the likes of which I could find grander in the mines surrounding Grimhilde's kingdom, and have in fact done so to bolster the coffers of the Forbidden Mountains? Furthermore, you think to compare my gaze to something so lifeless? To what end?"

He should've known. Hans was thinking small, in terms of mortal women. Hades (unfortunately) did not doubt that Hans' premise was solid, but he needed to be able to offer something more impressive, something worthy of a Dark faery. "Readin' ya loud and clear, babe," Hades said as he dismissed the gems. "The diamonds? Fakeout. Just wanted to get your reaction when you thought all I got ya was DIAMONDS when the REAL deal was just around the corner." Now he held a completely different object in his hand, and as he offered it to Maleficent, her eyes widened, which he took as a good sign. "One of the golden apples of the Hesperides," Hades explained, "picked outta Hera's private garden, which is no small feat, lemme tell ya. These things are only reserved for the fairest, and Malef, you are def – "

"I KNOW OF THE GOLDEN APPLES!" Maleficent raged, throwing up both arms. A light flicker of flame coursed over her body; had she been at full power, it would have been a raging inferno, and Hades knew it. "YOU THINK ME AN IGNORANT FOOL? I know of their uses to distract foolish goddesses and cause their squabbles to tear worlds apart. You think to sway me by enchanting me with such a weapon?"

"Weapon?" Hades repeated, now backing away despite the fact that he was obviously in no danger given their respective power levels. "No, babe, it's for the fairest. I'm saying you're the – "

"A tenet established by Eris!" Maleficent snarled. "By bestowing this gift upon me, you call me little more than Eris' pawn. A designation I resent UTTERLY."

She turned on a heel and stormed away.

"Wait, Malef!" Hades tried to follow, holding out the apple. "Goddesses have KILLED for one of these! I get the complaint, I really do, but just hear me out – "

The door to Maleficent's cabin slammed shut in Hades' face.

The shimmering golden apple hit the deck and rolled as Hades' grip went slack from the total dismay that coursed through his body.

"Wow," Hans said as he approached the frozen Hades. "That usually works. That was weird."

That snapped Hades out of his reverie. "There's not gonna be anything WEIRD about when I HANG YOU FROM A NOOSE ATTACHED TO THE CROW'S NEST!"

"WHAT'S THAT FOR?" Hans said in fear, backing off.

"You said giving Malef gifts would get her to dig me," Hades said as he advanced upon Hans. "Doing what you said got her to treat me the coldest she EVER has!"

"You still need me!" Hans protested.

"To drive the ship?" Hades challenged. "I think we can MANAGE WITHOUT YOU!" Now he was bright orange as an iron in flame.

"No!" Hans corrected. "The gift might not have worked, but it's not the only trick I know! I'll make up for it! The next one's gonna work! I promise!"

Hades considered this. Half of him wanted to incinerate Hans on the spot. But half of him knew he was getting nowhere with Maleficent under his own steam, and Hans was the best resource he had. That half won out, and the flames died down.

"Okay," Hades said as he simmered. "I'm good. I'm good! I'll give you another shot. But your next move BETTER WORK."

"Oh, it will," Hans promised. "Maybe I was wrong, and it's just princesses who go gaga for the shiny stuff. But every woman, and I mean EVERY woman, falls for the same tactic."

...

Belowdecks of the Gummi ship Sora (who had now insisted on calling himself "Captain Sora," much to Donald's chagrin, as the duck had hoped to leave that particular quirk behind in Port Royal where it belonged) was piloting, there was a layout of small chambers, intended to be used for freight or extra passengers if need be. Definitely a step up from the last ship they'd taken out. While mostly everyone was up above in the cabin, two had sequestered themselves down below in the rearmost room, eagerly taking the solar surfer along with them to tinker with.

"You doing okay?" Jim asked once he and Kazuichi had settled in the back storage room, the surfer laid on the floor.

"Yeah," Kazuichi answered. "There's a bathroom right over there, so that's good, and I think I'm finally getting used to this shit. Sort of. Just…if I stop talking randomly, you know why."

"Got it," Jim said with a nod. "So tell me more about what you wanted to try and do with the surfer."

"Well, you said it flies, right?" Kazuichi prodded. "Like, it literally flies? Check this out." He nudged forward a pile of Gummi blocks. "These are called Warp-Gs. They're supposed to make it so you can teleport somewhere they've already been, but I think if we mess with 'em enough, we can just make it so they make whatever they're built into go really fast."

"Like a hyperdrive?" Jim asked.

"Yeah!" Kazuichi nodded, though he barely knew what that word meant.

"Hyperdrive is still theoretical," Jim said in awe. "Light ship technology is working on it as the next advancement, but it's kind of being thought of as impossible."

"Heh…" Kazuichi was silent a moment, and Jim initially thought the motion sickness had seized him again until he said, "A lot of stuff is possible. I once built this bike that had a top speed of five hundred and eighty-five miles per hour!"

"Five-hundred and eighty-five?" Jim repeated. "That would kill a person."

"Yeah…" Kazuichi stopped to reflect on when he and the other Despairs had watched the execution of Mondo Owada, riding round and round a death cage on that very bike until there was nothing left of him but buttery residue. "It did…"

Upon seeing Jim's horrified reaction, Kazuichi hastily said, "So who's this guy we're looking for the map for?" He began arranging the Gummi blocks around the surfer.

Jim decided to ignore the possible admission that Kazuichi had killed a man with a motorcycle. After all, the man about to become the subject of discussion had hands that were none too clean of blood, and that hardly changed how Jim felt toward him. "It's complicated," he admitted. "The first time I got the map, we ended up accidentally hiring a crew of pirates to take us to Treasure Planet. They were just using me to get to the treasure. But they put up a pretty good act in the beginning. Their captain, John Silver, had to act like he was actually attached to me. And at some point, I guess it stopped being an act.

"I was in a weird place. I was…mad. At everything. He helped me sort my life out, whether he knows it or not. But I think he does. He actually got me to realize that I'm worth believing in. If you want the truth…"

Jim paused a while, trying to decide whether or not to admit it. Honesty won out. "I thought of him like the dad I didn't have. My real dad…if you can call him a 'real dad,' which he's not…he walked out on me and my mom when I was a kid. I guess he told my mom he just couldn't take being tied down to one place. I always kinda felt like he left because of me, though. Like there was something about me he hated and just couldn't stand. And maybe I was just…hateable." He sighed. "THAT was a self-fulfilling prophecy. Silver saw right through it. I mean, he was a pirate, so he was pretty used to being hated and being treated like a criminal. He probably saw a younger him in me. Except…better."

Jim turned to look up and out the small porthole in the cargo room that showed a frieze of stars passing by. "I wish I could give him back what he gave to me. He helped me see I was worth something. I never thought about how he must feel about himself. But thinking back, he knew how far gone he was. He knew I wasn't there yet. He always acted like he had all the self-confidence in the galaxy, but what if he didn't? What if he still thinks he's rotten? What if he doesn't know how much he actually means to me?"

He turned back to look at Kazuichi. "I might never see him again," he admitted. "That's why I need the map. I know it's just a piece of metal. But it's all I have of him, and I don't even HAVE it. I don't just want this to be OVER. He's part of my FAMILY, and maybe he doesn't think I'm part of his, maybe he just forgot about me, but I can't forget about him!"

"You mean all this time…" Kazuichi's eyes sparkled as he beamed. "You had a COOL PIRATE DAD? Man, I really see why you want that map now! I'd want it too if I had a cool pirate dad and it was the only thing that reminded me of him!" He sighed. "I wish I DID have a cool pirate dad."

"Your dad wasn't…?" Jim left the question unfinished.

"Nah," Kazuichi replied. "I mean, he wasn't, like, bad or anything. He just didn't really seem to care. He never gave a fuck. He'd always just lay around while I broke a sweat in the bike shop we ran. Which wasn't SO bad, 'cause I love tinkering with bikes, but it wasn't fair, y'know? The only way I could ever get his attention was when I did shit like skip the school trip, which I didn't even do to get him to notice me. It was a lot of stuff, like not being able to afford it and not having any friends before my best pal came along. That finally got him to notice I was there, at least. Too bad he just beat the shit out of me for it and went back to ignoring me – "

"He WHAT?" Jim cried. "You just said he wasn't bad! THAT'S BAD!"

"No, it's not!" Kazuichi insisted. "I mean, I swore I'd never do that to any of my three kids I'm gonna have with Miss Sonia 'cause I hated it, but I get why he did it! I fucked up, and that's just a thing parents do to their fuckup kids. Some parents do it and some don't. And I wanna be the kinda dad who doesn't."

"That's…not right," Jim insisted. "It's not just a thing some dads do. It's WRONG, okay? Parents aren't supposed to hit their kids for screwing up."

Kazuichi wasn't sure how to process this information. Not even Hajime had thought it was a big deal when he'd told him. Jim was the first person to be making such a fuss. "I wonder which is worse," he mused. "Having a dad who leaves you, or having a dad who sticks around but treats you like crap."

"Let's just agree that both are bad," Jim resolved, "and having a cool pirate dad is the only way out."

They shared a grin.

Kazuichi reclined a bit, and his pant leg rolled up slightly, revealing the metal of his right leg. Jim did a double take upon seeing it.

"Agh, fuck – " Kazuichi saw the trajectory of Jim's gaze and hastily tugged the pant. "You're probably wondering about that now, aren't you?"

"Nah," Jim said casually. "It's not the first one I've seen. Silver was actually missing a couple parts."

"Oh, right. He had a hook and a peg leg, right? Since he was a pirate?"

"Actually, he was a cyborg – "

"HE WAS A FUCKIN' CYBORG AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?" Kazuichi's eyes glittered.

"It's not that big of a deal around here," Jim laughed. "Anyway, I don't really care how you lost yours. I never learned how Silver lost his. I don't think he wanted to talk about it. It really doesn't matter."

"Good," Kazuichi said somewhat mournfully, "'cause I don't wanna talk about it either."

After this, they worked on the surfer in some silence; Kazuichi's stomach was bothering him, and it didn't help that he kept looking out the window, fascinated by the sheer aesthetic of the stars and nebulae outside, only to be reminded by the view that he was on a moving vehicle that was nowhere near the ground. This ultimately resulted in a dash to the onboard bathroom. After that, his nausea settled again, and he posed his favorite standby question to Jim: "So. Any hot girls you're after?"
Jim snorted. "No. No hot girls. Now, hot GUYS, there are a few who hang around Crescentia…"

"Oh!" Kazuichi realized. "Okay, so, what about them? Who's the biggest hottie?"

Jim sighed. "The MARRIED one."

"You like a married guy?" Kazuichi didn't put it together that there was a very attractive married man aboard his very ship who checked a lot of Jim's boxes. "Spill, man!"

In the end, Kazuichi never did figure it out, thanks to Jim's nebulous descriptions. But both young mechanics could agree they'd grown a lot closer.

...

The massive double doors, carved of mahogany and polished to a shine, barred the way to the trophy room of Asgard's castle, where the spoils of hunts were kept. Two male guards, burly with muscle and outfitted with armor that could double as a mirror from its shine, kept watch.

"And that, gentlemen," Snatcher introduced from around the corner of the hall, "is our first target." He gestured with a flourish, perfectly painted red nails aiming toward the door.

Roman, Neo, Harley, Peter, Garfield, Xayide, and Aghoul all sidled around the corner to get a good look.

"Don't look at it IN PLAIN SIGHT, you imbeciles!" Vexen hissed.

The entire group hustled back around the corner to hiding. One of the guards shot a glance in that direction, having thought he heard the shuffle of feet, but upon seeing nothing, shrugged it off.

Xayide conjured a pair of levitating mirrors angled to show the group the door from their position out of sight. "I would not have thought the Tesseract found in a trophy room," she stated, "but it is our strongest lead."

Snatcher had tried his usual tricks, engaging anyone he could find in conversation to delve for information about where the castle's valuables were kept. No one seemed willing to divulge – or perhaps they simply didn't know. Then someone had mentioned the trophy hall, and that seemed as good of a place to start as any, as the Asgardian in question had described it as "where we keep what we're proud of."

"It's one of the oldest tricks in the book, you know," Aghoul pointed out. "Keeping the incredibly powerful magical artifact among less powerful items. It makes commoners think we sorcerers wouldn't dare mix the two. Everyone expects magical devices to be held atop some sort of gleaming pedestal at the end of a pavilion bedecked with deadly booby traps and murals of history forgotten to time."

"That's smart!" Harley commented. "So, Ghoulie, that's what you'd do if you had a Tesseract?"

"Oh, goodness, no," Aghoul scoffed. "Give me the pedestal, the pavilion, the traps, and the murals any day. Who needs DECEPTION when you can just crush anyone who tries to enter?"

"Ya gotta do things with style around here, Jester," Roman said with a nod. "Go big or go home."

Neo pointed at the mirror reflecting the doors and shrugged.

"Yeah," Firefly agreed, "what's our play?"

"Well, obviously," Roman began, "my lady will take care of distracting the goons. From there, it's a matter of who joins in THAT effort and who busts down the big doors."

"Though preferably, they will be picked open," Xayide said hastily. "Not broken in such a way that would alert the guards."

"Is this your team?" Roman asked. "I don't think this is your team. So why don't you and Iceman do me a favor and stop trying to shoot down everything that sounds remotely fun?"

"Ah, yes," Vexen remarked. "How could I forget that being thrown into custody on a foreign world is our collective greatest form of entertainment?"

Neo made a gesture implying that she'd rather be hanged from a noose than listen to Vexen argue.

"Though what I think I'm gonna do," Roman resolved, "is hand this one over to Jester, Gar, and Mister Twister."

Harley, Firefly, and Ragdoll looked to each other in surprise before exchanging a round of high-fives between them.

"Look, you three need your bonding time," Roman went on. "I get it. You're old hat at the crime gig, so I'm letting you work your magic on that room. The rest of us will figure out how to get the killjoys away from the door."

"You hear that, Vexen?" Ragdoll said slyly. "Roman wants you and Xayide to stay away from the door."

"I would have a semblance of anger if I hadn't seen that coming from the moment I heard the word 'killjoys,'" Vexen grunted.

"I am in agreement," Xayide huffed, arms folded.

"So Team Distraction will head out first," Roman decided, "and once the coast is clear, you three head in and do whatever it is you three do when you're together. Not entirely sure what you get when you combine the skillset of an arsonist, a contortionist, and a psychologist, but I'm gonna trust you on this one."

Harley saluted. "Count on us, Romy!"

"We certainly won't let this mission slip through the cracks," Ragdoll promised slyly. "Even if I will."

"Locked 'n' loaded," Firefly concluded.

"All right, everybody," Roman declared, "break."

Snatcher led Roman, Neo, Xayide, Vexen, and Aghoul toward the guards at the door. "My, my!" he cried out loudly. "So this is where the spoils of the hunt are kept, no?" He sashayed toward the pair of guards.

They crossed their spears before the door. "No one's allowed in," one of them, pale and sporting a dark brown beard, said gruffly.

"Oh, I knew that," Snatcher said coyly. "Such a shame. But it wasn't the trophies I came to see, after all."

"Then what did you come for?" the other guard, dark-skinned with curly black hair, asked.

"I was informed that the handsomest men in the whole castle were on duty guarding this room," Snatcher said as he made flirtatious eyes at first one, then the other. "It seems I was correctly informed."

"Ma'am," the black-haired guard sighed, "that trick shan't work on the likes of us – "

"Explain your traveling company," the brown-bearded guard broke in. "They are not escorts of yours?"

"In the most platonic sense," Snatcher answered. "They are mere acquaintances, curious about the same questions that interested me. Though they were more concerned with your heroic exploits and tales of derring-do than those divinely sculpted arms. Is that not right?"

"I'm just her manservant," Roman picked up. "Where she goes, I go. I don't really have a choice in the matter, so when she says she's going hunting for hot guys, I guess I'm playing wingman. It's a total drag."

Around the corner, Firefly muttered, "Oh, he did NOT."

Harley had already clamped both hands over her mouth to keep from laughing audibly: "A DRAG – "

"We have not seen you before this moment," the black-haired guard pointed out. "We are to assume you are a lesser noble of King Odin's court?"

"There is hardly anything LESSER about me," Snatcher retorted, "and yet, in the literal sense, you are quite correct."

"It's somewhat of a shame we hadn't crossed paths before now," the brown-bearded guard admitted. "Your beauty is radiant."

"Such a flatterer!" Snatcher was following the man's gaze and knew exactly where his eyes had been. So far, so good. He just needed to get the other in on the game. He walked right up to the black-haired guard, laying a hand delicately on his shoulder. "Yet I can tell you are the more resilient of the pair," he said. "Who would doubt such a physique in the heat of the bedr – oh, dear me, I meant to say the battlefield! I do hope your hands aren't TOO rough from wielding the weapons you must carry. Then again…" His free hand traced down the side of the guard's face. "I do have rather a taste for…rough. And if need be, my hands are far softer. You could leave the touch to me." Now to test the waters; he acted as though he'd had an epiphany of shame, eyes downcast demurely as he backed off, heels clicking on the marble floor. "Oh, do forgive me…that was so forward, and, I am guessing, unwanted. I had simply so hoped you would reciprocate the interest me that I have in…well, it is no matter. I could simply settle for your lesser partner if need be, or another willing man…"

"What is meant by 'lesser'?" the brown-bearded guard snapped.

"Simply that your friend's allure far surpasses your own," Snatcher told him, "though you aren't without merit."

"Allure?" the black-haired guard repeated. "I have never been told that I have ALLURE…" He found himself feeling inexplicably guilty for Snatcher's backing off sheephisly.

"I am in no way LESSER!" the brown-bearded guard said indignantly. "I have brought armies to their knees! I have slain monsters of incredible size! And my hands see no calluses or rough skin! All the better to grace yours!"

"He boasts," the black-haired guard said calmly. "In truth, I have bested him in sparring time and time again, among other contests. I hold liquor longer, I have slain greater beasts, and I have read vastly more tomes."

"Of bards' ballads!" the brown-bearded guard snapped. "I read of the histories, and of intellectual matters! If the fair maiden is to choose anyone's hand, it is to be mine!"

"She has already chosen mine," the black-haired guard rebutted.

"Oh, LOOK what you did!" Roman groaned (his acting slightly wooden). "You started ANOTHER fight between the guys! Do we have to do this EVERYWHERE you go?"

"But one of this pair may be worthy!" Snatcher argued, playing along.

"…One?" the black-haired guard said in confusion. "You had chosen me – "

"The decision was not final," Snatcher stated. "The more I look at the both of you…you shall have to state your cases. Tell me of yourselves and your exploits, and I shall decide which of you is superi – OH!" He suddenly staggered. "The heat overcomes me! I fear if not brought to fresh air, I shall most certainly swoon!"

His hand slipped behind his back, and Xayide, seeing her cue, summoned a red-lace fan to place into it. The fan was brought out front, opened, and waved fervidly in Snatcher's face.

The guards looked to each other, confused.

"Get her to a fucking WINDOW already before she passes out on the floor!" Roman egged. "Do I have to do EVERYTHING around here?"

With cries of "Oh!" and "At once!", the guards hustled, each taking hold of one of Snatcher's arms and guiding him to the nearest window, a bit down the hall and on the opposite side of the double doors.

Through Xayide's mirrors, Firefly, Ragdoll, and Harley saw the movement. "THAT'S OUR CUE!" Harley cried – which would've been heard by the guards if they weren't vocally fussing over Frou Frou so much. "LET'S GO! GO GO GO!"

"Okay, stupidest hangup ever," Firefly halted, "but I just realized we don't have a team name. We're a trio of best friends who doesn't have a team name. This kinda feels wrong."

"So come up with one fast!" Harley hissed.

"I did rather like the ring of it when Roman referred to us as 'arsonist, contortionist, psychologist,'" Ragdoll mused. "Perhaps a placeholder until we can find something shorter and snappier?"

"'ACP' for short!" Harley clapped her hands. "Let's do it!"

"ACP, move out," Firefly commanded, and the trio hustled down the hall to the now-unguarded doors.

The guards had their back to their target; Snatcher was positioned in the opposite direction, in the optimum place to watch the trio's break-in as a window was thrown open wide next to him, a light breeze tousling the strands of his wig. He was flanked by Roman and Neo on one side and Aghoul, Vexen, and Xayide on the other. The others were now getting in on the conversation, and Xayide was heard saying, "I don't know, Madame Frou Frou. I almost prefer THIS one. His deeds are far more noble and heroic, and were Thor not given the advantage of birthright, he would certainly be taking up the prince's mantle…"

Harley tried the obvious solution first: simply tugging the door handles. "Locked," she hissed. "I thought so. Just gimme a sec…" She plunged her fingers into her updo, hoping Xayide had fastened it with more than just magic. As she'd thought, she'd been gifted several hairpins. "Aha!"

A pin was inserted into the lock. "C'mon…" Harley muttered. "C'mon…any time now…"

SNAP!

Harley managed to fish the broken pin out of the lock in entirety. "Okay, that ain't gonna work," she sighed.

Behind her, she could hear Vexen barking, "That is NOT how the Bifrost works at ALL! Are you telling me you are employed in Odin's inner circle, and yet you don't understand the simple circuit formed by Heimdall's blade in conjunction with the interdimensional energy harnessed in the facility's capacitors? I should report you for negligence!"

"All right," Firefly resolved, aiming one wrist at the door. "Time for some firepower."

Neo's illusion was in full effect; though Harley could've sworn she was looking at Garfield Lynns' arm, the skin of his hand exposed, in a loose sleeve, the heat energy burst forth from his concealed gauntlet, making it look as though he were casting a spell. He traced his way up the doors, forming a circle –

And all the way, the energy just stopped dead where it hit the surface of the wood, not even a burn mark left.

"How – " Firefly sputtered. "What – "

"Guess it's some kinda Asgardian magic," Harley said with a shrug.

"IT'S WOOD. IT SHOULD BURN."

"MAGIC. WOOD."

"Okay, so picking the lock is out and burning down the door is out," Firefly sighed. "R.D., you're up. What do you think?"

No answer.

That was when Harley and Firefly both realized that Ragdoll was gone.

Behind them, Aghoul: "That would've been an anticlimactic death. You don't get into Asgard without a blood spatter of at least a five-foot radius."

"Where is he?" Firefly asked in a panic. "Where'd he go?"

"Ya don't think he got taken, do ya?" Harley hissed, her heart rate increasing.

"No," Firefly assured her. "You and I both know this is completely in character for him. I just really, really, REALLY wish we knew what he was doing."

"Prob'ly tryin' to find some kinda air vent that leads to the trophy room so he can break out from the inside," Harley volunteered.

"Thought of that," Firefly responded, "and that would work if this was actually a building that had air vents and not an old-timey castle that DOESN'T."

The sudden sound of the doors unlocking from the inside and beginning to creak open caused Firefly and Harley to backpedal. There was a fifty percent chance that a third guard had been inside all along, and the pair was now in deep, deep trouble. And there was a fifty percent chance that –

"No, no air vents," Ragdoll said slyly as he leaned on the door frame, "but there IS a drainage system in the floor, presumably for the ones they bring back still bleeding. Hardly even a challenge."

"Don't scare me like that," Firefly grunted as he gave Ragdoll a light cuff on the forearm.

"Can I help it if I get a bit of a rush out of that look on your face?" Ragdoll teased.

"How can you see my – " Firefly had thought the helmet was still obscuring him, but then remembered. "Right. Neo." Though how her illusion could predict the expression he'd be wearing, he wasn't sure, and he wasn't going to question. "I should've guessed you'd think me worrying about you was a laugh."

"No, not THAT expression," Ragdoll laughed. "The expression when you finally learn I'm all right."

"Guys, c'mon!" Harley urged. "We gotta move!"

The trio slipped into the hall just as they heard Roman saying, "Fuck the police. Am I right? …Not YOU guys, of course. You're cool."

As the door clicked shut behind Harley, Firefly, and Ragdoll, closing them into the hall, Firefly put out both hands to either side, palm up. "Nice job, ACP."

Harley and Ragdoll slapped him simultaneous high-fives, feeling the jarring effect of his gloves where Neo's illusion still kept skin in view.

"Now," Ragdoll suggested, "how about we make like the skull of the wolf in the far corner once the axe of its foe hit it and split?"

The trophy hall was long and immense, filled with shelves bearing skulls, teeth, and other various animal parts. Taxidermized beasts populated the room, almost giving the sense that the hall was filled with imminent dangers about to strike: the snarling bear on all fours, the small dragon that had miraculously been preserved in entirety and set up on its hind legs, the massive shark head that Ragdoll only recognized from speculative documentaries on prehistoric life mounted up on the wall and leaving to the imagination how big the accompanying body must have been.

The trio split up and headed to different parts of the hall to search for anything relatively blue, glowing, or cube-shaped. At one point, Harley very neary stepped into the grate Ragdoll had left open on his entry, and she began to yell at him to complain before looking back down and seeing exactly how narrow and vertical the drain even was. "THAT WAS BARELY A CHALLENGE FOR YA?"

Ragdoll, who was by this time hanging upside-down with his knees hooked over a high shelf, head spun backward so he could see the shelf behind him, answered, "Oh, do stop underestimating me, Harley. We've obviously been apart far too long if you thought THAT would be any sort of problem for me."

"Sometimes I get jealous of ya," Harley sighed as she returned to her search, overturning a stuffed hare. "Bein' able to move like that. Y'know that, right?"

"Being a freak of nature has its perks," Ragdoll said smugly.

"Aww, you ain't a freak a nature," Harley tried to reassure.

"Yes, he is," Firefly broke in, swiping all of the canine teeth off an upper shelf with a backhand. "He's my beautiful, genius freak of nature."

"You do so flatter me, Garfield," Ragdoll replied, his tone barely letting how heartwarmed he actually was slip through. "And in return, might I say you are positively LUMINOUS?"

"Man, I gotta get me somebody who says that kinda stuff about me without fakin' a murder scene to get me to split up with my two best pals," Harley sighed.

After a short silence, Firefly commented, "I think the weirdest thing about that was how NOT weird that sounds anymore."

"The bar for oddity certainly has gotten quite high in our lives, hasn't it?" Ragdoll confirmed.

Shortly after, the trio reconvened in the center of the room. "Well, that was a whole load of nothing," Firefly sighed.

"Same here," Harley said despondently.

"Perhaps it was a bit too much to expect they'd be clever enough to hide something that valuable in plain sight," Ragdoll mused. "Then again, given that we were able to get in and rule it out so easily, perhaps they are the clever ones after all."

A sudden sharp banging on the door. "Oh, monsieurs, that is NOT NECESSARY!" Snatcher's voice rang out from the other side. "I am charmed that you are willing to OPEN THE DOOR AND SHOW US AROUND THE TROPHY HALL, all to impress me! But by all means, do take your time!"

"Crud," Firefly hissed.

"Hide!" Harley yelped.

The key clicked in the lock. The door swung open.

Snatcher braced himself to see Harley, Ragdoll, and Firefly caught red-handed. As it were, the hall seemed bereft of any beings that weren't filled with stuffing and posed dramatically.

"Well, would you look at that?" Roman groaned. "You guys just…opened up the door because Frou Frou asked. The door that I'm SURE it would otherwise have taken a lot of work to get past. What would even have been the point in trying?"

"You speak as though anyone could get past us to open these doors!" the black-haired guard laughed.

Snatcher had a suspicion about what had happened to the three field agents. In order to give them a chance to show themselves, he suddenly developed an interest in the far side of the room; "What IS that, there, at the rear of the hall? Do come tell me how you obtained such a treasure, would you?"
As Snatcher headed in that direction, the brown-bearded guard muttered to the black-haired guard, "And speaking of rears…" There was no mistaking where his eyes were aimed.

"Do not speak of a lady so disrespectfully!" the black-haired guard hissed, though he'd admittedly been looking the same place and thinking the same thing.

And Roman Torchwick, behind them both, felt a sudden rush of anger at the pair of them looking at his boyfriend like a piece of meat, and impulsively lunged, only to be thankfully held back by Neo and Aghoul, both of whom had seen this coming and wanted to avoid engaging in a brawl with any Asgardians.

The guards proceeded to show Snatcher the prizes on the shelf – which happened to be some rather ordinary deer skulls; they figured Frou Frou was just easily impressed – and as they were occupied doing that, Firefly slipped out from where he'd been hovering behind the outstretched wings of the stuffed dragon, Harley crawled from underneath the snarling bear, and Ragdoll uncoiled from his position in the mouth of the wall-mounted shark head. They took their place in the entourage as though nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

"What did you find?" Xayide asked as Neo gave a dramatic shrug.

"Diddly squat," Harley whispered. "It ain't in here!"

"If you wish to see a REAL prize," the brown-bearded guard said as he turned with a flourish, "then you must behold – "

He stopped. Took a look at the group. Blinked. "Were there not fewer of you before?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Roman said flatly.

"I recall her not," the black-haired guard commented, gesturing to Harley.

"I sure have been here the whole time!" Harley stated.

"And him?" The black-haired guard's hand moved to indicate Ragdoll.

"I've been here, lurking in the background," Ragdoll replied, "and quite disappointed in you for not understanding how Heimdall's blade connects to the capacitors."

That seemed proof enough for the guards that Firefly, Ragdoll, and Harley had in fact been there all along.

Snatcher lay a hand on each of the guard's shoulders, slowly, deliberately. "What WERE you about to show me?" he asked coyly.

"Ah, yes!" the brown-bearded guard cried. "You must behold – "

A new voice, deep and gruff: "What is the meaning of this?"

All turned to see the newcomer enter the trophy hall. The WHAM ARMY agents figured he was just another Asgardian, perhaps a military general, given the fact that he was in full armor, even obscuring his face. His green tunic seemed to fit in with general fashion on this world.

The guards' reaction to him, however – straightening up, saluting, and crying the word "DOOM!" with wide eyes of fear – suggested he was something more than that.

"My lord!" Snatcher said with an air of surprise that was in no way false. "Is there a problem here?"

"Yes," Victor von Doom stated. "It is the problem of two underlings compromising our security in order to bow to the whims of a temptress."

"Ooooh, you guys are in trou-blllllle!" Roman laughed at the guards, who looked as though they were about to drop dead from fright on the spot. This should have been Roman's tip-off to watch his step, but, unfortunately, he failed to read the room.

"They will pay their penance," Doom stated, "but the sentence shall be lighter than those who initiated the breach to begin with."

"And that…means us, doesn't it?" Roman said rather nervously.

"Please, my lord." Snatcher walked calmly toward Doom. "This has all been a misunderstanding. I did not ask for a guided tour. These…irresponsible, negligent hooligans suggested it, no, forced us to go along with their little game. Have you any idea what a poor, defenseless woman such as myself might have suffered at their hands had she refused – "

He was silenced by a hard strike across the face with Doom's gauntlet.

"Your silver tongue will not taint my ears, temptress," Doom growled. "I have no tolerance for underhanded scheming behind the backs of the Asgardian authority."

Before Snatcher could try and argue that there'd been no underhanded scheming, Roman broke in with a loud "And I have no tolerance for YOUR FUCKING BULLSHIT!"

Before anyone could process, Roman had shoved his way in front of Doom and attempted to tackle him.

Which had resulted in Doom effortlessly picking Roman up by the throat and slamming him back against the nearest patch of bare wall, squeezing hard enough that Roman was choking for oxygen, clawing at the gauntleted hand that held him in place to no avail. His eyes widened, terror flooding them as he realized he'd made a terrible mistake.

"You," Doom growled, "do not defy Doom."

"Yeah, I – " Roman sputtered. "I get the picture – " A strained gasp.

Snatcher made to assault Doom himself, but Neo knew that would get them all in even hotter water. She planted herself in front of him, hand held up flat to signal him to stop. Snatcher knew quite well that when Neo told you to do something, you had best follow her command.

Neo then whirled about to execute the only plan she could think of.

When Doom saw the arm pinning Roman up explode, leaving a ragged stump of bone and dripping blood just past the elbow, it caught him just enough off guard that he let go of Roman.

Then, of course, he realized that in order to have let go of Roman, he had to still have a hand, albeit one that was now concealed by some sort of illusion.

Before Doom could make his next move, he was encased from head to toe in a massive iceberg – that was already starting to gain cracks in the surface. Xayide, seeing that Vexen's work was already being undone by Doom's sheer power, created a Corridor of Darkness beneath the ice, plunging Doom down into the Darkness' domain and out of sight.

"Hurry!" she commanded. "That will not hold him long!"

"BEAT IT!" Harley cried.

The entire team turned to run en masse, only to be reminded that they were still in the same room as two of Odin's guards, who seemed to have a dedicated loyalty to this "Doom" they had just sent away. The guards simultaneously cried "STOP!" and began to charge only to find themselves running on a large, smooth patch of ice that caused them both to fall down. Aghoul bowled twin skulls at them, one from each hand, and the blasts propelled them further down the hall, giving Roman's team a head start.

Roman, Snatcher, Neo, Harley, Ragdoll, Firefly, Aghoul, Vexen, and Xayide barreled out of the trophy hall and through the castle corridors at top speed. Only when they were certain they were no longer being followed did they halt, taking shelter in an antechamber with glittering walls.

"I think we shook 'em," Firefly announced.

Roman leaned against the wall, closing his eyes to catch his breath. Feeling the pressure of a pair of hands suddenly seizing his forearms, he flinched, eyes snapping open.

Snatcher, realizing he'd been too hasty, removed his hands from Roman, taking a step back. "Torchwick," he said breathlessly in his natural timbre, forgetting Frou Frou's personality completely, "are you all right?"

"Yeah…yeah," Roman replied, nodding. "I'm good. Just give me, like, five minutes to remember how to breathe." He gulped at air thirstily yet silently, the memory of Doom's fingers clutching his throat still so fresh, he could feel the metal. Then he gave Snatcher a closer, more direct look; "You've got a shiner coming in, though."

"I've what?"

Xayide passed Snatcher another magically-conjured mirror. Now Snatcher could see where blood was rising to where Doom's hand had struck his face, creating a brilliant bruise over his left eye. "How inconvenient," he muttered, passing the mirror back to Xayide. "Now I've got to come up with an excuse for this…"

"Fell down the stairs?" Harley suggested. "Or how 'bout runnin' into a closed door 'cause ya thought it was open? Or ya fell off a motorcycle – or whatever they use around here. A horse! Ya fell off a horse."

"All quite possible," Snatcher muttered.

Firefly and Ragdoll exchanged glances. They knew why Harley had such a ready list of excuses for a black eye. After they'd gone and punched out the Joker – the first one – for marking her with one, and he'd retaliated by trying to bomb them both, she'd had a different story for every bruise after that, a story that conveniently didn't include the Joker.

"All right," Roman declared, straightening up off the wall. "I'm good. I'm good."

Neo let out a sigh of relief.

"Though not entirely sure why we still have to be afraid of a guy we chucked into the Corridor," Roman admitted.

"He was breaking through my ice of his own volition," Vexen explained. "That suggests either a superhuman strength we are most unprepared to deal with – a possibility evidenced in his ability to subdue Roman in a mere minute – or the presence of magical powers. The reactions of the guards to him suggested that he was one of Odin's very elite. I've no doubt he had a plan in place were such a thing to happen to him." Then, much softer, "I wonder…"

"Are we going to talk about that, by the way?" Roman asked with a mischievous smile. "You keep insisting you hate my guts, and yet YOU were one of the first to jump on that guy when he had me against the wall."

"I did not JUMP on him," Vexen argued.

"Figuratively speaking," Roman corrected. "You froze his ass right away."

"Out of loyalty to my team," Vexen said stiffly. "Mozenrath would be none too pleased to learn that I let his fellow founder meet even a temporary death at the hands of an interloper."

"Uh-huh," Roman said coyly. "Yeah. Not buyin' it. You saved my ass because you like me."

"You infuriate me," Vexen stated coolly.

"I'm your lovable dumbass," Roman teased.

"No," Vexen corrected. "Only the latter. None of the former."

"Well, at least you did something," Roman pointed out, "unlike one of my actual supposed best friends in the room." His gaze shifted to Aghoul, and his arms went out in a dramatic gesture. "Hey, Corpsey, old pal, old buddy of mine, why did you stand around doing FUCKING NOTHING while I was getting my neck broken?"

"I find that a little asphyxiation every now and again gives a certain rush," Aghoul said with a smile. "And I only WISH I had someone around who could give my neck a good breaking. I've been sore for weeks."

"Good for you!" Roman said sarcastically. "You're undead! I'm not! THAT COULD'VE FUCKING KILLED ME!"

"…Oh," Aghoul realized. "You see, I'm starting to forget that the rest of you aren't as…durable as I am. I think it's a sign that we've become close."

"Well, hooray for that," Roman groaned.

"Did any of us catch that that guy's name was literally 'Doom' or was that just me?" Firefly broke in.

"That seems very apt," Ragdoll commented.

"With a man named 'Doom' walking around," Aghoul huffed, "no one's allowed to make fun of MY name for being a pun anymore."

"Nor my name at all," Snatcher grunted.

Neo pointed at Harley.

"Oh, no, the pun ain't my real name," Harley informed her. "I ain't 'Harley Quinn' for real. It's 'Harleen Quinzel.' But now that I've been goin' by that so long, I kinda like it better."

"'Harley' is short for 'Harleen,'" Xayide pointed out.

"So, really, your name is still 'Harley Quinzel,'" Roman concluded, "which sounds just close enough that it's a pun."

"All these years," Harley realized, "an' nobody ever caught that 'till I picked the new name!"

"Lucky you," Aghoul huffed, arms folded.

Neo made a grand shrug, and everyone got her meaning: what now? Where to?
"We go back to recon," Roman answered. "Avoid the Doom guy, find where they REALLY keep the valuables, and get what we came for."

"All while keeping a low profile," Snatcher emphasized.

"That ship has not only sailed," Vexen huffed, "but traveled out to sea and sunk to the depths."

"Nonsense," Snatcher replied with a smile, his Frou Frou voice back on. A hand delicately resting on his heart, he stated, "I'm practically invisible. And when I do wish to be seen, I manage to get doors opened with a mere word. Follow my lead, and we shall soon know everything."

"ACP and friends, move out!" Harley cried, right index finger in the air as she stormed from the room; the others followed.

"Um…this isn't your team?" Roman attempted, though not as loudly as he could have.

Snatcher lingered a moment, looking to Roman.

"I'm FINE," Roman insisted. "Though if – no, really, I should say WHEN we decide to get frisky in a broom closet while the others are doing the dirty work, ease off the neck-biting."

"Duly noted," Snatcher replied. "You have no such restrictions." A pause. "Your bruises are coming in as well."

Roman rested his fingertips over where Doom's had been. The flesh hurt. He knew exactly how bright the marks looked. "Well, I guess we match now," he huffed. "Seriously, don't even worry about it. We got out of it fine! I'm FINE." He set out after the group, giving Snatcher a light pat on the shoulder by way of thanks for the concern. "Let's get a move on."

Snatcher followed, but while he knew full well he had no chance of besting Doom in a fight, he was slowly resolving to give Doom payback for what he'd done to Roman the next time they crossed paths.

...

"Sorry we don't have any human-sized beds," Twilight said as she led Riku and Sonia down a hall of the library castle. "We kind of just put together the best we could under the circumstances."

"It is lovely that you thought of us at all," Sonia reassured.

"And I've slept on worse," Riku laughed.

The windows set in the hallway's outer wall showed the last vestiges of twilight in the air as night took over the town of Ponyville. In order to create a shared dream, Luna required most if not all of the town's inhabitants to be asleep, and only those sleeping could participate in the dream landscape. That included Riku and Sonia.

Twilight pushed open the door to the guest bedroom she'd set up, with two bed-shaped piles of very fluffy pillows stacked up and covered with plush quilts.

"I've slept on WAY worse," Riku stated with a smile.

"I guess I'll be seeing you in your dreams!" Twilight said as she exited the room.

Riku and Sonia both lay down on their pillow piles, still dressed – though Sonia undid her hair ribbon and set it aside.

"Goodnight," Riku said as he pulled up his quilt.

"Goodnight," Sonia replied as she settled.

Riku caught the hesitance in her tone. "You gonna be okay?"

"It is just hard for me to sleep sometimes," Sonia told him. "But it will happen eventually. Do not worry."

Given what Riku knew about the Remnants of Despair, he didn't doubt it or blame her. He also knew there was nothing he could do to aid the situation. He simply had to focus on getting his own rest.

Once Luna had ensured the moon was on the correct trajectory to rise to position and the stars had begun to appear on the night sky, she took off, flying above the heart of Ponyville and observing it all from a central vantage point in the air. From her horn came a white glow that expanded into a sphere, tendrils of bright light snaking out from it to envelop the entire town. Ponyville became awash in the glow.

At first, Riku thought he'd woken back up. He rolled over on the pillow pile, trying to achieve sleep once more.

A light pressure on his arm made him twitch. "Sonia," he muttered, "I'm trying to sleep."

What he got in response wasn't anything close to what Sonia's voice sounded like. It was a distinct squeak. A squeak he knew.

Riku's eyes snapped open. He turned his head upward to see a round, fuzzy ball perched atop him, large green ears flapping upward and pink, star-emblazoned wings fluttering slightly. As the creature shuffled around on top of Riku, his fanged mouth was wide open in an expression of excitement to see his master again.

"Highwind!" Riku cried in joyous surprise.

The Komory Bat chirped.

"You gotta get off me," Riku laughed. "I gotta get up and go find my friends."

Highwind understood, getting airborne with a few flaps.

Riku stood, crossing the room to see Sonia laying on her pillow pile with her eyes closed. "Sonia?" he tested.

"Mh…no," she replied. "I have not fallen asleep yet."

"Yes," Riku corrected. "You have. We're dreaming."

Sonia chanced opening her eyes and looking up at Riku. "How do you know?"

Highwind settled on Riku's shoulder. "Because Highwind wouldn't be here if we were awake."

"OH!" Sonia now leapt to her feet, eyes sparkling. "He is BEAUTIFUL! May I…?"

"Go ahead," Riku told her. "He likes attention."

Sonia put a gentle hand between Highwind's ears, ruffling his pink fur.

"He's a Dream Eater," Riku explained. "When Sora and I traveled the Realm of Sleep, we made friends with a lot of them. Highwind was particularly attached to me."

"Are all Dream Eaters bats?" Sonia asked, withdrawing her hand slowly (which earned her a sad, deflating squeak from Highwind).

"No," Riku told her. "They're all kinds of animals. Cats, bears, horses…whatever a Meow Wow is…"

Sonia nodded, a wave of nostalgia catching her up in it. Gundham would love Dream Eaters, she knew. She could so easily picture him standing there with Highwind on his shoulder.

The door burst open; Twilight stood there, excitement written on her face. "Come on!" she urged. "We're in the dream now! We can go find Riku's friends!"

Outside, the town was identical to its waking form, but everypony was roaming the streets, having been informed of the shared dream to take place that night, and having known it was a dream, the civilians were taking advantage. First of all, the fact that this wasn't the waking world's reality was made apparent in the atmosphere when a pack of muffins with wings flew past Riku, Sonia, Spike and Twilight, followed by a dancing lamppost. The two humans could now name the ponies who they saw adjusted by this reality: Ditzy Doo had become giant. Married couple Lyra and Bon Bon were now conjoined, one's front half leading into the other's front half to put a head on each end. Applejack's brother Big Macintosh had given himself a unicorn horn, a pegasus' wings, and the regalia of a princess, which made him look all the more fashionable. A foal named Scootaloo, who by day was unable to fly despite the wings on her back, now had wings tenfold the size of those she possessed in the waking world and was using them to perform aerial tricks.

"Come on!" Twilight encouraged, breaking into a gallop once she sighted a glowing sphere in the distance. Riku took off at a run after her. Sonia followed at a slower pace, and Spike huffed and puffed trying to keep up at all.

The glow's source was revealed as a translucent white sphere that enveloped Luna, keeping her levitated off the ground. Her horn was shot through with white spirals, indicating it as the linchpin of the magic creating the shared dream. "Greetings," she said, turning her head to face Twilight, Riku, Sonia, and Spike, who arrived in that order.

"Luna," Riku asked, "are you okay? You look…"

"It is taking a significant amount of energy to hold this dream together, yes," Luna answered. "However, so long as I do not need to concentrate on any other magical efforts, it is manageable." She smiled. "I see you have made a Dream Eater friend."

"Dream Eater?" Spike repeated in confusion.

Highwind chirped and wriggled atop Riku's shoulder, where his tiny paws had remained clamped.

"A creature that only exists in dreams!" Twilight gasped. "I thought only Nightmares were capable of that!"

Before any more could be said on the subject, Cadance, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity arrived from different directions, making a rendez-vous at Luna.

"This is incredible!" Cadance cried.

"And the best part is that it's a dream," Pinkie Pie said as she hovered upside-down from six feet up in the air, "so you can do anything!"

"Anything, huh?" Rainbow Dash repeated. In a shimmer, she was suddenly covered in the blue uniform of the Wonderbolts.

"Might as well have a li'l fun myself…" Applejack was then clad in a red bodysuit accented with a dark-green mask that exposed her snout and eyes, with bands marked with golden apples over each hoof; lime-green fabric held back her mane and tail.

"Hey!" Spike realized. "You're Mistress Mare-velous!"

"I didn't know you got that attached to her," Twilight admitted. She turned to explain to Riku and Sonia, "Mistress Mare-velous is a character in one of Spike's favorite comic books. We had a little incident where we all got trapped in the story and turned into superheroes. Applejack's was Mistress Mare-velous, who wields a magic bridle – "

"That's magic LASSO," Applejack corrected. "And who don't feel like bein' a superhero every now and again!"

"That's it!" Rainbow Dash declared. "I'm changing mine!" Now her uniform was black and her mane spiked up; a lightning-bolt-shaped pendant graced her neck.

"Another superhero?" Sonia asked.

"The weather master Zapp!" Rainbow Dash clarified.

"Well, being superheroes is all fun and good," Rarity said rather haughtily, "but I'm going to take this chance to have a little more style." In a flash, she became dressed in an elaborate ballgown of pink and gold.

Spike transformed himself to be even taller than Riku, his legs longer and his chest broader. Light armor adorned his new form. "If you're gonna dream," he said with a shrug, "dream big."

"Oh!" Fluttershy gasped. "Riku, who's your new friend?"

Riku ruffled Highwind's fur. "Go on," he muttered to the bat. "Say hi."

Highwind flapped down to flit around Fluttershy, squeaking happily.

"FLUTTERSHY!" Rainbow Dash gasped. "I thought you HATED bats ever since…well, you know!"

"Oh, I could never really HATE bats," Fluttershy replied. "I still like bats a lot. But this bat is different from those bats anyway. He seems a lot friendlier."

Highwind responded by trying to bury himself in Fluttershy's mane.

"Wow," Twilight said softly as she approached. "I'd love to know more about him."

"Well," Riku said, intending to give a quick explanation, "Dream Eaters are made of different kinds of thoughts, I guess. They – "

Highwind gave a sharp squeak, lifting off directly upward.

"Did I do something wrong?" Fluttershy asked in shock.

Highwind tore off flapping fervently down a side street.

"He wants us to follow him!" Riku cried. "Come on! Let's go!"

The entire company followed Highwind as he weaved through town. His path was crooked, taking the group down many a twist and turn, until he made a sharp corner. Before Riku, who was in the lead, could turn after him, he heard a feminine voice say, "Hey, little guy. Where'd you come from?"

That was when he knew.

Around the corner was the Café Hay; seated at one of its outdoor tables was Mal, cuddling a very affectionate Highwind.

"MAL!" Riku cried.

Mal stood up sharply; Highwind fluttered away. "RIKU?"

They rushed to embrace each other as though they actually had known each other for all the years Maleficent had enchanted them to believe.

When they parted, Riku asked, "How did you get here?"

"I have no idea," Mal said with a shrug. "Lianna and I faded out, and all of a sudden, I'm in Pony World."

"Have you seen her?" Riku asked. "Lianna?"
"Yeah and no," Mal answered. "It's been weird. I know this is a dream, and things keep fading and coming back. We were together when we were in some…weird place I can't remember. It's actually like trying to remember a dream after you wake up. I couldn't even tell you. But now I'm here in this town, and I haven't seen Lianna in a long time. Maybe hours. Maybe days? Time isn't normal here." She looked toward Highwind. "Is that a Dream Eater?"
"Yeah," Riku said with a smile. "His name is Highwind."

"Cool," Mal replied. "Not the best colors, but he can't help that." She shrugged and grinned.

"We have to find a way to bring you out of the dream," Riku told her. "There's gotta be a way."

"Or at least find a way to keep me in the same dream?" Mal suggested. "I don't even know if I can be real at this point, but this shifting around is really messing with me. I keep expecting the ground to open up and spit me out somewhere else at any second."

"You can be real," Riku insisted. "You HAVE to be real. I'm not letting anyone else fade away ever again."

"Who did you lose before me?" Mal asked. "Maleficent gave me the scoop on your life, and I don't remember anything like that. Unless you mean that one guy…Rox…as? Was that his name?"

"No." Riku shook his head. "I don't mean…"

He found himself confused. Who did he mean?
"I think I just said that on the spur of the moment," he decided. He turned back to his fellows; "What can we do?"

"I don't know," Twilight admitted. "This would be something we'd have to ask Luna about, but she's back in the middle of town. And it sounds like you don't have the time to wait for us to ask her."

"I mean, I might," Mal clarified. "Like I said, time isn't normal for me. I might disappear in the next minute, or I might be here for a week." Another shrug.

"We still need an answer fast," Twilight stated. "But I don't know – "

"OOH!" Pinkie bounced up and down, which wouldn't have been a strange sight if she weren't still levitating upside-down. "I HAVE AN IDEA! PICK ME! PICK ME!"

"Pinkie Pie?" Twilight replied. "What's your idea?"

"What if we used our new super-cool rainbow powers?" Pinkie asked.

"Do they even work like that?" Applejack wondered out loud.

"I don't know," Twilight said. "I don't think it was something we could just summon up like the Elements of Harmony."

"What are the rainbow powers?" Sonia asked.

"We got 'em from the Tree of Harmony so we could beat Tirek!" Rainbow Dash explained. "We had to get these keys, and there was this box, and it's really a long story. All you need to know is that those powers made us TOTALLY AWESOME!"

"The rainbow came out of the box when we needed it and only when we needed it," Twilight clarified. "We only used it once. I don't even know if we can use it at will."

"But this is a dream, remember?" Pinkie recalled. "We can do ANYTHING!"

"You're right!" Twilight realized. "We CAN do anything! If we use our rainbow powers, then we'll be able to…well, I'm not sure what we can do."

"But it's worth a try," Cadance encouraged.

"Girls, let's get in formation!" Twilight rallied.

Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy assembled around her. Pinkie Pie dropped to ground level, right-side up, to be able to participate. Riku, Sonia, Spike, and Cadance shuffled out of the way.

Twilight inhaled slowly, then exhaled deliberately, still feeling doubt this was even to work.

At her command, a bright light surrounded all six, transforming them. Emblems that matched their Cutie Marks appeared on their legs. New colors surged through their manes and tails – a shock of yellow in Twilight's, swirls of deep blue in Fluttershy's, streaks of red in Applejack's, a mixture of blue and yellow in Rarity and Pinkie Pie's alike (albeit different shades for each). Rainbow Dash's feathers were now tinted every color in the spectrum.

They levitated off the ground, still bathed in light. A neon-bright rainbow emitted from their collective sphere of magic, shooting right past Mal and hitting the air beside her.

A rift formed, bordered by multicolored light. Through it, there appeared to be nothing, as though it were only the outline of a portal drawn in the air but not leading anywhere.

Highwind's immediate retreat from the rift, however, tipped Riku off. "That portal," he realized. "It leads to the real world!"

"So…I just go through?" Mal asked.

"I don't know!" Twilight said from within the sphere that held her and her companions up. "Your dream creature doesn't like it, and I think it's because he can't survive outside of the dream! I'm scared that if Mal goes through the portal, she'll disappear!"

"But we must try SOMETHING!" Sonia cried in desperation.

"This is the best I've got," Mal stated. "Might as well give it a shot."

"But if you disappear – " Riku began.

"Then I'm glad we were friends," Mal told him, "even if it was just for a day."

"So am I," Riku told her. "But…" It occurred to him that he knew exactly what Sora would say, what Sora would want him to say, and so he said it: "You won't disappear. You'll be okay."

"Where should I meet you when I get out?" Mal asked.

"Go to the library castle where Twilight lives," Riku told her. "It's the tallest building here. You can't miss it." He gave her a grin. "We'll be waiting for you."

"See you there," Mal told him.

Then, without further hesitation, she charged through the rift.

It closed immediately after her.

The group rushed to Luna, informing her of what had happened. Considering her work done, Luna let the shared dream go. Everyone in town felt their consciousness become hazy as their dreams separated, becoming their own for the rest of the night.

Then Riku woke up.

He tore out of the pillow pile, feet pounding on the hard hallway of the castle as he rushed to the entryway. Not long after, he heard Sonia's hard shoes clicking behind him.

They ran into Twilight and Spike coming from a branching hallway. "She's gotta be on her way here!" Twilight insisted.

"I sure hope she made it," Spike said solemnly.

"She made it," Riku insisted.

The four halted in the atrium, awaiting Mal's arrival.

"How long d'ya think it'll take?" Spike asked.

"It could take her some time to find her way through town," Sonia mused.

Twilight glanced at a nearby wall-mounted clock. "It's only two in the morning," she realized. "That didn't take long at all. I don't think it would take her later than three to show up."

"She'll be here by two-thirty," Riku said with a grin.

At six, the sun rose. Cadance, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, and Rarity had all awoken by then, making their way to the castle. All at once, they arrived to find a desolate Riku, Sonia, Twilight, and Spike waiting for them.

They had arrived to rendez-vous at the castle.

But Mal had not.

...

The MLS ("Mozenrath Light Ship") Vicious sailed calmly yet swiftly through the Etherium, passing planets of both the solid and gaseous variety, clusters of glimmering stars, and streaks of brilliant color. Every now and again, strange creatures, Etherium life, would pass by the ship, such as the great winged whales that had nearly bowled the Vicious over.

Hämsterviel kept busy hustling between the deck and the engine room to ensure the ship was still fueled properly. Wuya and Hannibal were locked in a practice spar down on the main deck, Hannibal resizing himself at will with the Moby Morpher to counter Wuya's deadly dance. Occasionally, Hannibal would transform his body to resemble another member of the WHAM ARMY, which got a good laugh out of Wuya as she kicked "Rémington" clear across the deck. Snipe had at some point obtained a diabolo and, to everyone's surprise, was quite dexterous with it, keeping his reflexes sharp and his hand-eye coordination on point by manipulating the toy to roll back and forth on the string between its two handles while he spun it around his body like a dancer's ribbon.

Draco stood as close to the prow as he could without falling overboard, gazing at the vista before him. He'd certainly seen stars before. A dabble into Divination had forced him to stargaze and memorize the positions of celestial bodies in such a way that he was surprised at how a natural phenomenon most found poetic could be reduced to boringly mathematical components. Out here, however, it was all different. The sky surrounded him. It was so much more than broomstick flight. He would sooner leap over the edge into the void than have any of his former classmates know how enchanted he was by the starscape before him, yet the others of the WHAM ARMY were all right – they didn't know him, he could make reparations to his reputation later, and most of all, it was because he'd gone along with them that he was able to see this very sight. It reinforced the truth he'd been slowly waking up to: there was so much more out there in existence than what he'd known in his personal sphere for the first eighteen years of his life. It felt like he was staring into eternity, and yet was logically aware that out here in the Etherium, he wasn't even looking at the half of it.

From up on the helm, the Huntsman kept course, steadying the Vicious as needed. Mozenrath stood beside him to make conversation, and Draco's rapture hadn't escaped his notice. Taking the ship's surroundings into account, and giving it all a good look, even Mozenrath couldn't help but admit that –

"I have no idea what he's STARING AT."

The Huntsman nodded. "I am aware he has never been off his homeworld before, but there's nothing to see here."

"It's all just empty SPACE," Mozenrath asserted. "We're not even at the right angle to plot constellations. There's nothing out here that's useful, and there's NOTHING OUT HERE TO RULE. WHAT IS SO SPECIAL ABOUT LOOKING AT A THOUSAND STARS IN PURE DARKNESS?"

"Just accept that neither you nor I shall ever understand it," the Huntsman sighed calmly.

Mozenrath folded his arms. "This whole voyage is taking too long."

"There is nothing I can do about that," the Huntsman said sharply.

"I wasn't blaming you," Mozenrath growled. "What, exactly, did Captain Flint even plan on doing if his trove was destroyed and the portal mechanism with it while he was still alive? Was he planning on rebuilding? Because without the portal, he would've been relegated to doing THIS. Over and over AND OVER. The only saving grace here is that no one's attempted to start up a sing-along involving counting bottles full of their beverage of choice."

"Don't tempt fate," the Huntsman warned. "I wouldn't put it past Snipe."

"Are you actually implying he can count backward from one hundred? Snipe would be the easiest to deal with. Volunteer the verse about thirty-seven bottles after he finishes up number seventy-two and he'll go right along with it without noticing anything wrong."

"Perhaps," the Huntsman stated. "For now, piloting is the only thing keeping me from going mad with boredom, and even then, it is a minimal task."

There was a brief silence before the Huntsman quickly said, "And I have no intention to give up the wheel."

"I'd considered asking for it," Mozenrath admitted rather sulkily, "but unfortunately for me, the helmsman is YOU, and I like you just enough that I can't take away your only respite in this abyss of boredom. I guess I'll just find another way to stay entertained." His eyes rested on his gauntlet, wondering what exactly he could conjure that would allow him to pass the time and yet still converse with the Huntsman. "There is just ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO SEE OUT HERE."

His eye was then caught by a brilliant orange glow that was impossible to miss. His head and the Huntsman's turned sharply to view the source of the overbearing light. Down below, Wuya, Hannibal, Snipe, Hämsterviel, and Draco all rushed to the port edge of the ship, practically leaning off the side to take in the sight.

A star not too distant from the Vicious had simply exploded, transforming into a cloud of flame. Orange-hot light was rolling over the Etherium like a tsunami, bringing chunks of rocky debris on its crest. It seemed everything in sight was in the line of fire. The Vicious was but an insect attempting to escape the onslaught of hellfire.

"THAT STAR HAS GONE SUPERNOVA!" Hämsterviel cried. "WE ARE ALL DOOMED TO PERISH IN A CONFLAGRATION OF RAINING STONE!"

The Huntsman whirled to point at Mozenrath; "YOU were the one who tempted fate!"

"THE GALAXY DOESN'T RESPOND JUST BECAUSE I CALL IT BORING!" Mozenrath yelled in his face (or to the jaws of his helmet, anyway). "Keep the helm. I'm going to fix this."

Rather than use the stairs to get down to the deck, Mozenrath vaulted off the upper level, using magic to guide his course so that he performed a front-flip on the way down and landed on his feet with feline grace. He rushed to the other five, barking, "Hämsterviel! What's our next move! And don't say any variation of the word 'die.'" He emphasized this last point by clenching a glowing fist, implying that if Hämsterviel said they were all going to perish, Mozenrath would cut out the go-between and send Hämsterviel off to do exactly that.

"SECURE THE LIFELINES!" Hämsterviel cried, hopping up and down in a panic. "NOW, NOW, NOW!"

Wuya, Snipe, Hannibal, and Draco rushed to where several ropes were secured, removing them from their station and tying them around their waists.

"You think I'm going to trust our lives to ROPE?" Mozenrath rolled his eyes before flicking his wrist.

The lifelines reinforced themselves as thick steel chains binding Wuya, Draco, Hannibal, and Snipe to the ship. Three more chains materialized to wrap around Hämsterviel, the Huntsman, and Mozenrath himself.

Wuya barreled toward Mozenrath. "You know," she said in a barely-calm tone, "the sensible thing to do would be to make a Corridor back to a stable location."

"The last stable location we can name is Crescentia," Mozenrath reminded her. "If any of us makes a Corridor, we are starting ALL OVER. AND I AM NOT SPENDING THAT LONG RIDING A LIGHT SHIP THROUGH EMPTY SPACE A SECOND TIME."

Wuya, to his surprise, smiled, a fang poking over her lip. "I'm glad we agree on that."

"The Corridor will be a last-ditch reserve," Mozenrath decided. "If it's between going back to square one and literal death, then we go back to square one. For now, we're going to do everything in our power to keep this ship on track."

"Then DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT!" Hämsterviel yelled as he darted between them, pointing upward.

By the time Mozenrath and Wuya had looked, the wave of heat had overtaken the Vicious. All it really did was increase the air temperature to an uncomfortable degree and tint everything red-orange as far as the eye could see. The fire wasn't about to pose a real threat. However, a veritable avalanche of meteors, all of which trailed tails of flame behind them, was soaring in to descend upon the Vicious and reduce it to splinters.

Mozenrath and Wuya looked to each other, their expressions speaking of mild concern at first.

Then they exchanged a smirk.

Turning back to the onslaught, they let their hands glow.

Wuya blasted the first meteor to dust. Mozenrath followed up by making a larger rock explode. Wuya executed a complex flip, shooting the energy necessary to destroy the next meteor from midair. After muttering "Show-off," Mozenrath spun dramatically, letting his cape twirl as he executed the next blast, being sure to mind the lifeline chain.

"SNIPE!" Hämsterviel cried. "HANNIBAL! FURL THE SAILS! DO IT OR WE WILL BE TRAPPED ON THE CURRENT OF THE BLAST!"

"No need to be all rude about it," Hannibal huffed as he swung his lifeline to hook over the first crossbeam of the mast and shimmy up. Snipe, on the other hand, just tackled the mast and began to climb with no assisting apparatus.

The largest rock yet hurtled toward the Vicious; Mozenrath and Wuya took it out together, simultaneously pumping their fists after the shatter – only to realize that all they'd done was create a cloud of slightly smaller rocks that threatened to hail upon the deck and punch right through the floor. Before they could even react, a rapid-fire series of knockback jinxes whizzed through the air, changing the trajectory of each rock until all had been deflected off course, sparing the Vicious.

Wuya and Mozenrath both turned back to see the young blond with wand outstretched. "Nice shot, Draco," Wuya said with a proud smirk.

"What it lacked in panache," Mozenrath added, "it made up for in efficiency."

Draco took his place beside Mozenrath and Wuya, helping to blast the incoming meteors.

Hannibal had finally managed to tie up the first sail. "One down," he muttered, "way too many to – "

Snipe dropped down to the crossbeam where he stood. "DONE!" he cried. "HAHA! I WIN!"

"Now whaddaya mean 'done'?" Hannibal asked in suspicion.

"I mean I'm done," Snipe told him. "All the sails are up."

"No way you coulda – "

But as Hannibal looked up and around, his jaw dropped; every single sail had been furled up and lashed into place by hand.

"I WIN!" Snipe asserted, poking Hannibal hard enough to nearly knock him off the crossbeam.

"Ain't nobody likes a show-off," Hannibal muttered sourly.

He and Snipe then leapt back down to the deck, where Hämsterviel greeted them. "Yes, yes!" the small, fuzzy man cried. "With the sails furled, safety lines secured, and a firing line protecting us from the rain of meteors, we just may have a chance of surviving this massive inferno! The only thing that could halt our flawless success is if that supernova collapsed and formed a – "

The Vicious jerked violently off course. The Huntsman struggled to pull the wheel. The debris had finally cleared out, leaving an unobscured view to the new threat. The star had, indeed, collapsed upon itself, inverting and becoming a dark, circular void that drew the flames it had spewed toward it as though drawing in the tide – a tide upon which the Vicious was uncontrollably floating.

"A BLACK HOLE!" Hämsterviel cried in horror.

"I'M NOT THE ONE WHO SAID IT THIS TIME!" Mozenrath growled in rage.

"NO MORE TEMPTING FATE!" the Huntsman roared as he battled with the wheel.

"IT IS GOING TO SWALLOW US WHOLE!" Hämsterviel cried. "WE ARE GOING TO BECOME APPETIZERS FOR ITS VICIOUS MAW OF DEATH AND DESTRUCTION!"

"Isn't a black hole just a portal?" Draco asked. "Won't we come out somewhere on the other side?"

"No," Mozenrath replied, mockingly calm. "All that's going to happen to US is that the extreme gravity at the center of that void will crush us like a grape under the heel of a boot!"

Inexplicably, Snipe cried out "YEEAAAAAHHHH!" and disappeared into the cabin.

After a brief silence, Wuya stated, "I think I speak for all of us when I say nobody wants to ask."

"Black holes," Mozenrath muttered. "Black holes. Black HOLES."

"WE'VE ESTABLISHED IT'S A BLACK HOLE," Wuya snapped.

"I'M THINKING!" Mozenrath yelled at her. "I'm trying to remember everything I know about black holes. …Energy waves, they spit energy waves, we could RIDE AN ENERGY WAVE out of its gravitational field! HANNIBAL! UNFURL THE SA – "

"NO!" Hämsterviel barked shrilly. "THERE WILL BE NONE OF THE UNFURLING OF THE SAILS, YOU STUPID SORCERER! Riding an energy wave is an utter game of chance! It only works if you have gotten very, incredibly lucky! If the wave is too small, there will be nothing to ride, and if the wave is too BIG, there is no use in attempting to harness its tremendous force!"

"So we wait for an energy wave to hit and evaluate if it's worthy?" Mozenrath asked.

"It is our only option!" Hämsterviel insisted.

"Don't think ya gotta worry 'bout waitin' for one," Hannibal said, extending a tendril to gesture across the deck.

The wave was visible, a slightly deeper shade of orange rolling in across the light orange that encompassed all of existence.

"Come on," Mozenrath muttered. "Come onnnnnn – "

When the wave hit, it was far stronger than anyone expected. The Vicious was bowled over, sent spinning in several consecutive barrel rolls as its six on-deck passengers were flung overboard, the chains their only tethers preventing them from being lost to the void then and there.

Mozenrath, cast into space with only the sharp chafe of the chain around his waist to remind him that all wasn't lost, twisted about in midair, grabbing ahold of the chain with both hands. The Vicious had finally stabilized, thankfully right-side up. Mozenrath clambered back to its deck, hand over hand, painstakingly straining his upper body strength to its limit to bring him back to base.

The Huntsman, Wuya, and Hannibal had all made it back to the deck before him. The Huntsman hesitated at first, knowing how much Mozenrath valued his pride. Then, deciding some things were worth humiliating him for, rushed to the lifeline attached to the sorcerer, seizing it and reeling it in.

When Mozenrath's feet hit the deck, the Huntsman was rather surprised to note that he didn't seem in any mood to berate the Huntsman at all for assisting him with something he could have handled on his own – though, was that really a surprise now? Instead, Mozenrath sent a blue surge charging down the remaining two lifelines, and Hämsterviel and Draco were both reeled back, slamming into the deck hard.

"There is no way we can ride THOSE waves!" Hämsterviel cried in a panic. "They are too strong! We may perish before we can even reach the center of the abysmal void with its crushing pressure!"

"NOT YET," Mozenrath growled.

Snipe, having ridden out the rolling in the cabin and found it quite a thrill, finally emerged with his mace in hand. "I'M GONNA FIGHT IT!" he declared.

"You're going to fight WHAT?" Draco asked.

"The black hole!" Snipe insisted. "I'm gonna beat it to a pulp!"

"Are you BARMY?" Draco yelled at him. "You can't FIGHT A BLACK HOLE!"

"No," Snipe said with an accusatory finger pointed at Draco, "YOU can't fight a black hole, 'cause YOU'RE a wimp! But I'm strong enough to beat it!"

"YOU LITERALLY CAN'T FIGHT A BLACK HOLE!" Draco bellowed. "THERE'S NOTHING TO FIGHT! They said you were a pillock, but I didn't know just how STUPID you are until NOW!"

"No, YOU'RE the fish that lives in cold water!" Snipe retorted.

Everyone else accepted that this was going to continue for a while and decided to ignore it.

"I'm not giving up yet," Mozenrath growled. "Wuya, between you and me, we have enough magic to reverse the current under our ship."

"You're sure about that?" Wuya asked, eyebrow raised.

"WE HAVE TO," Mozenrath snarled at her. "TURN THE CURRENT AROUND NOW!"

He rushed to the edge of the deck without a further word, and Wuya followed. In complete synchrony, they thrust a hand each outward, toward the circular void now swallowing the orange tide at an ever more rapid pace, and let loose twin currents, one green, one blue, of pure magic that attempted to counteract the black hole's draw.

For a moment, it seemed to have worked. The Vicious jerked violently backward, away from the hole.

Then it was pulled right back in, just a little more slowly.

"We do NOT have enough magic to counter it!" Wuya seethed. "We have to go back to Crescentia!"

"This is going to be a pain," Mozenrath sighed casually as he turned aside, flicking his right wrist. The Corridor formed on the deck –

And all of its Darkness was immediately swept overboard, swirling on the current until it disappeared into the black hole.

All present stared after it in horror.

Wuya then tried to cast one of her own, only for her own Corridor to get sucked away. She and Mozenrath tried three more times each, firing simultaneously, only for the Dark magic that forged the portal to be drawn overboard the moment it came into being.

They didn't have to be told when to stop.

"All these years," Mozenrath snarled. "Book after book about cosmic phenomena I stole from Destane's library and every source I could find. Hundreds of thousands of pages I read about astronomy and the cosmos. And NO ONE EVER THOUGHT TO MENTION TO ME, ONCE, THAT BLACK HOLES HAVE THE POWER TO SUCK UP MAGIC?"

"Without that Corridor…" Hannibal began.

"WE ARE DOOMED!" Hämsterviel cried. "WELL AND TRULY DOOMED, TO A DEMISE FROM WHICH THERE IS NO RETURNING!"

No one had to state the obvious. With their only necromancer on board, death would be permanent. As went Mozenrath, so did the rest of his companions.

They expected Mozenrath to veritably explode. They expected him to scream and storm about and destroy whatever expendable objects were in reach. However, to their surprise, a certain serenity washed over him that seemed absolutely alien. He strode to the edge of the deck, looking to the black hole, staring into its depths. The Vicious was worryingly close to it now, riding a slow arc around it: circling the drain.

"Wuya," Mozenrath said calmly. "Try again."

"The Corridor?" Wuya asked doubtfully.

"No," Mozenrath stated. "Reversing the current."

Wuya took her place beside him, sending out the green surge of Heylin magic that once more temporarily pushed the Vicious back before the inevitable pull of the hole took over.

"Malfoy," Mozenrath barked. "Whatever you did to those rocks, do it here."

"You expect me to change our course with a KNOCKBACK JINX?" Draco said in disbelief.

"JUST DO IT," Mozenrath commanded.

Draco, feeling rather stupid about even trying this venture, stood at Mozenrath's side, casting repeated Flipendos fruitlessly toward the waiting abyss.

Mozenrath gave the black hole a long, hard stare before casting his own stream of magic, feeling the pain wrack his right arm. If this were truly the end, there was no point in holding back to save his life force or his body. Evaporating before reaching the black hole would only be cutting to the chase.

"All right, we're gettin' CLOSE!" Snipe bellowed eagerly. "Soon as we get to that hole, I'M GONNA POUND IT TO A PANCAKE!"

"YOU CAN'T! FIGHT! A BLACK HOLE!" Draco reiterated.

"No, no," Wuya sighed. "Snipe, when we get to that black hole, you can fight it as hard as you want. Go crazy."

"YEEAAAAAH!" Snipe yelled.

Hannibal and Hämsterviel understood the exact sentiment behind Wuya's command. There was nothing more they could do. They might as well let him believe.

The black hole seemed to fill Mozenrath's vision, staring into his soul. Finally, the end had come. Unlike his near fade-away on the World of Twelve, leading to his slow deathbed in the World of Four Nations, this was an acceptable death. It was how Mozenrath had always wanted to perish: in the heat of the action, fighting with all of his might against some grand and unstoppable force. Upon reaching Tartarus this time, he could say he had tried, and he could say he had gone out with a bang.

There was only one hitch, something holding him back that he couldn't quite name. Something seemed wrong about this. He couldn't fathom what. It wasn't a fear of death. If he were afraid to die this way, he would never have put on the gauntlet. No, there was something here that didn't match his grandest fantasies of expiration, and he had yet to identify it.

The Huntsman lightly shoved Draco aside to stand by Mozenrath. As he looked toward his lover, he could see the calm, resolved acceptance on Mozenrath's face. It was both impressive and disheartening. He wasn't afraid, which was good, but it did mean he believed it was the end. The Huntsman resisted the idea of dying again far more than Mozenrath did for a first time; not even cheating his initial go-around had given him the confidence to weather another conclusion to his life. Yet there was so little he could do. He couldn't even contribute to the effort to put the Vicious back on course. The helm would resist him. All he could do was let himself be killed.

His urge for a final action even took him off guard. Instinct told him to back away from the deck, to reposition himself directly behind Mozenrath. Slowly, gently, he wrapped both arms around his lover from behind, clutching tightly at Mozenrath's chest and drawing him back into the Huntsman's own as Mozenrath's right hand was still kept outstretched and casting.

Now Mozenrath understood his own hesitation. Every time he had imagined himself going out in flames, he had barely considered who might be taken out with him. He had assumed, naturally, anyone in the vicinity would be an enemy. What else could he ever have? But those fantasies had been crafted before the WHAM ARMY. Before the Huntsman. And now the people who had to die alongside him were those he respected, those he liked, and even those who had little to respect but were at least useful. And one of them, he was incredibly fond of. He felt no great remorse at the thought of his teammates' deaths, but there was a sense of definite disappointment that things had to be this way.

The Huntsman just barely heard the words come from Mozenrath's mouth, so quiet yet so definite:

"I do wish you didn't have to go down with me."

Mozenrath felt the grip on him tighten.

The Vicious was on the cusp of being pulled in. Mozenrath, Wuya, and Draco still cast their useless spells. The Huntsman remained wrapped around Mozenrath. Hämsterviel and Hannibal looked on at the void in dismay. Snipe was braced and ready for action as he stared down his next and greatest opponent.

Then, unexpectedly, the Vicious lurched backward, away from the black hole, and kept speeding in that direction, pushing against the current.

All six watched in awe as their doom retreated from them. The Vicious careened away from the danger, trailing blue and green magic in its wake where Mozenrath and Wuya kept up their work. It happened so fast: before anyone knew it, the Vicious was completely out of range of the conflagration at all, its course holding steady in a sky that was once again blue and black, streaked with aurora and star.

Mozenrath and Wuya finally let up their constant casting, each slumping a bit. Draco lowered his wand. The Huntsman let go of Mozenrath quickly, letting him be free. Snipe let out a disappointed groan as his mace clattered to the boards.

There was an amazed silence for a moment before Mozenrath said, "Wuya, you really could have done that a LOT earlier."

"Me?" Wuya said in surprise. "My magic wasn't cutting it! I thought that was YOU!"

"That was NOT me," Mozenrath argued.

"Well, I know it wasn't me," Draco huffed. "Knockback jinxes…"

"Then who the heck saved our bacon?" Hannibal wondered out loud.

"We were on the verge of being devoured by an indomitable force of nature!" Hämsterviel reiterated. "Our combined magical might stood no chance! And yet suddenly we are veering in the backwards direction to our safety? It makes no sense!"

"EH-HEM."

The seventh voice snapped them all to attention. For the first time in what seemed like an eternity, Mozenrath, Wuya, the Huntsman, Draco, Snipe, Hannibal, and Hämsterviel turned to look back at the center of the main deck.

Their savior stood tall, leaning against thin air, one claw pressed against pure nothingness as though there were a wall there to lean on.

"I believe the phrase you are looking for," Discord said, "is 'You're welcome.'"

...

A/N: Riku's Komory Bat being named "Highwind" deserves a special credit to GAvillain, as that was based on one of his headcanons.