Hello again!

Well here we are, another chapter! I had a little writers block in the middle of writing this because our wonderful characters decided they didnt like the direction I was sending them in and demanded I rethink.

Its not long until our school holidays, which I am counting down the days till! My goal is to have another chapter written during the break, so hopefully it wont be too long until the next update.

BPOV

I was being a coward. I waited by the door in the bedroom I'd barely slept in last night, trying to hear noises beyond its threshold.

I tossed and turned all night, my mind ricocheting between remembering every second of my kiss with Edward and gnawing, gut-wrenching guilt and confusion. I finally slipped into a fitful sleep at around four, only to be abruptly jolted awake again when Emmett and Rose used the bathroom adjoining our rooms when they woke up at seven.

Nervous about having my brother or Rose questioning me over my evident exhaustion, or running into Edward when there were not enough people around to act as a buffer, I stayed in my room until I could be sure more neutral people were present.

After half an hour, I finally built up enough conviction to crack the door open to see if I could hear anything from downstairs. There was only the faintest murmur, but it was enough to assure me Esme or Carlisle were down there too.

For all of my worrying, I needn't have bothered because everyone looked tired enough that no one questioned the pronounced bags under my eyes and my withdrawn demeanor. It could all be chalked up to a typical New Year's Day hangover.

Edward wasn't downstairs when I went down, and when he didn't finally emerge, he seemed barely able to look at me. Though, no one else seemed to notice how quiet he was, or the fact that he avoided looking in my direction.

Everyone was engrossed in a lively conversation after the revelation of Jasper and Alice's hook-up. Edward arrived not long after we had watched the new couple saunter up the lawn, wrapped in each other's arms, stopping to kiss now and then. All the while, we sat and enjoyed the coffee Esme had brewed, watching them from behind the glass wall.

I had to admit, it hurt. My fears had come true, he was pushing me away. He wouldn't be able to look at me the same way after I threw myself at him. I'd ruined everything.

It wasn't until I announced I was going to go home with Emmett and Rose that Edward's head finally shot up and his gaze locked onto me. The original plan was to stay back at the Cullen's for a while and then Edward would drop me home later. Changing that plan plainly pointed out how much things between us had shifted.

He didn't stop me from leaving. He hovered awkwardly while Emmett, Rose, and I gathered our things, letting Alice fill the space with her constant chatter, but he didn't say anything. Her distracting prattle at least gave me something else to focus on than the growing chasm of silence between Edward and me.

On the car ride home, I asked if Rose would be okay with me hanging out for the rest of the day while Emmett went to his shift in the afternoon. She gave me an odd look but said it was fine. I spent the remainder of the journey staring out the window, lost in thought, my bottom lip caught between my teeth.

Not ten minutes after Emmett went to work, packing half of one of the leftover pizzas Esme had insisted we take home for dinner, Rose pulled me down to sit beside her on the couch and turned on me questioningly.

"Are you going to tell me what's up, or am I going to have to draw it out of you?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

I shrugged and avoided direct eye contact. "I don't know what you mean."

Rose didn't bother badgering or arguing with me. She simply stared me down with an annoyed patience that reminded me she wouldn't drop the subject, no matter how hard I tried to divert her.

I felt uncertain and in actual need of friendly guidance. While also way too tired to fight with Rose, who was perhaps the most stubborn person I knew. "I… Last night, Edward and I, well…I, um," I stuttered, trying to find the words, before finally spitting them out. "Last night, I kissed Edward."

Rose's eyes bulged in surprise. "Excuse me, what? You kissed him?" she laughed in apparent disbelief. "Now that, I didn't expect."

"What does that mean?" I asked, my brow wrinkled in confusion.

"Well, to be honest, I thought Edward would be the one to kiss you. I knew you have a thing for him, but I just assumed you would overthink it too much to ever make the first move."

"Why would you think that?"

"Because you can be extremely neurotic," Rose explained matter-of-factly.

"No, I meant why did you think he would be the one to kiss me?"

While I hadn't explicitly spelt the depth of my feelings out to her, Rose had always been extremely good at reading people. It was what made her such a good midwife, helping women through one of the most stressful and life-changing moments of their lives. To Rose, I might as well be transparent, she seemed to see through me so well.

She sighed and looked at me with a mixture of exasperation, like I was a child who completely missed a simple point, and pity. "I see the way he looks at you whenever he thinks no one is paying attention. With reverence."

I felt the blush creep up my chest and I hoped it wasn't too obvious how much her words pleased me, even if I didn't fully believe her. "You're being ridiculous," I deflected.

"He looks at you like you could solve world hunger," Rose continues, ignoring my protests. "Or like you're a snack. Or like you could prevent world hunger because you're a snack."

"Can you stop, please?" I pleaded with a whine. "I genuinely need your advice right now and it kind of feels like you're making fun of me."

She leveled me with a serious look and sat up straighter, clasping her hands over her round stomach. "I'm sorry. I swear, I'm dropping it. What do you need help with?"

I didn't really know where to start, or how to explain how foolish I felt, or why. "I don't know," I hedged, stalling to gather my thoughts. "I guess I'm… disappointed with myself for kissing him, and-"

"Why, in God's good graces, do you feel disappointed?" Rose cut me off, stunned by my confession, her crystal blue eyes sharp as they assessed me.

I shrugged, playing with a lock of my hair. "I don't know, I just… I've felt this draw to him from the moment I met him, but I knew nothing would ever come of it. So, I pushed it down and ignored it as much as I could. I told myself that I could be friends with him and not let my feelings get in the way. And I was able to resist it for months but then last night, I go and possibly jeopardize the entire relationship!"

Rose cut me off again, this time with a much more gentle tone, her hand on my arm as if to physically halt my rambling. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! You need to take a deep breath, please. That is some dark and twisty logic you got going on there, B. And there is alot to unpack. First thing though, why do you think nothing would ever come of your feelings? As I said, I've seen the way that man looks at you."

I shook my head at her. She had completely missed the most integral issue. "Have you forgotten that I'm identical to his deceased wife, who he just so happens to still be deeply in love with? Maybe when you saw him looking at me, what he was thinking about was her." I raised my eyebrow at Rose, daring her to dispute my worst fears. "And then there's the fact that anything that might happen between us would be a betrayal to Maria. Both of what she and I could have been to each other and of Edward's memory of her."

Of all the reactions Rose could have, I didn't expect her to laugh.

"I'm sorry, Hun. I don't mean to be insensitive. I forget that you didn't get the full experience of being a twin." My confusion must have shown on my face because she quickly explained. "Having a twin isn't just similarities and coincidences. They are a part of you. You can share anything because the boundaries of individuality are slightly blurred. Jasper and I are a part of each other in a similar way that my children are a part of me. They are in my DNA, my soul, the very essence of what makes me me. I know if anything were to happen to Emmett or I, Jasper would be the one I'd trust to love and raise my kids like I would."

I was a little incredulous at what I thought Rose was getting at. "Are you trying to say Maria may have felt like if she can't be the one here with Edward, I'm the only person she would trust to love him the way she would?"

Rose didn't falter under my outrage, simply raising an eyebrow in defiance. "I'm just saying you might be surprised how Maria would have felt about you and Edward being together now."

I didn't know what else I could say to Rose's ridiculous hypotheticals, so I went back to the real obstacle to anything ever happening between the two of us. "That doesn't really matter though, when Edward could never feel for me what he felt - feels for Maria."

"You need to talk to him, Bella," Rose sighed, shaking her head. "Right now you're making all these assumptions about how he feels, based on nothing but your own notions. Don't put words in his mouth," she finished in admonishment.

The fear I'd felt earlier that morning when Edward avoided talking to me crept back in. "Rose," I whispered in objection, anxiety making my throat impossibly tight.

"I know you want to avoid it, but you can't. You went and kissed him and now you have to face it like an adult."

"What if it ruins our friendship? I don't want to lose him."

"Answer a few questions for me, yes or no." She waited until I nodded my agreement to ask her first question. "Would you say you and Edward have built a strong friendship, despite odd circumstances and a fair amount of baggage?"

An easy question. "Yes."

"In a way, it's a little like you and Jasper. You're friends who have had to navigate complex emotions and made an effort to be in each other's lives. It might not be as… involved as your situation with Edward, but it was still complicated."

It wasn't technically a question, but Rose left it open as if she wanted me to answer. "Yes."

"Okay. So, if you and Jasper had accidentally gotten drunk and kissed last night, would you want to sit down and talk about what, if anything, it meant?"

I hesitated, seeing where she was going with her questions but unwilling to admit she was right just yet. "Yes…"

"Isn't it the same thing? If you and Edward are trying to be proper friends, like you and Jasper are, you would need to talk about it, because that's what friends do. They figure shit out when it's messy and they stick around afterwards."

But that was the crux of my greatest fear - that Edward wouldn't stick around. Jasper and I didn't have any choice but to figure it out because Emmett and Rose were a done deal, so it was clear we were going to be in each other's lives for a long time.

But Edward didn't have the same obligations. He didn't have to figure anything out if he didn't want to. The last thing I wanted to hear leaving his mouth would be that he wasn't comfortable being my friend anymore. That he didn't want to give me the wrong idea. That he didn't want to break my heart.

My heart ached anyway, just thinking about it.

~oOo~

Even though I knew Rose was right and that I would have to talk to Edward, I still made an excuse when he messaged me a day later, asking if we could talk.

After getting his text, I quickly called Alice to organise a last-minute shopping trip before I responded to him. I had to lay on a bit of guilt about her bailing on our plans before Christmas, but in the end, she relented fairly easily. I had to acknowledge that I had maybe gone too far to avoid my problems when I willingly suggested going shopping.

It wasn't an entirely wasted effort though, as Alice spilled the story of what had happened between her and Jasper.

She'd apparently cyber-stalked him a little, after seeing his Facebook page when she was searching for me. Neither of us acknowledged the irony of that situation. I was avoiding the topic of Edward as much as I could, and Alice was probably hoping I wouldn't put her hypocrisy, seen as she'd berated Edward for doing basically the same thing.

Then they connected when they went out to eat after the disastrous dinner party where Emmett told me the story of my birth mother. They'd gotten along so well, they texted each other the entire time Jasper was in Texas for Thanksgiving.

Alice sheepishly revealed he was also the reason she had bailed on Christmas shopping. They'd hooked up for the first time the night before and she had completely blanked. By the time she remembered, it didn't take much convincing from Jasper to talk her into staying in bed with him.

I'd cut her off there, telling her that was more than I needed to know about their sex life, thank you very much. I got a good enough idea on New Year's Eve.

At first, I was thankful when Edward didn't message me asking to talk again. When school started back up the next day, I convinced myself it was good. Kids came back from the holidays more crazy than they were before the break, and I didn't need those sorts of distractions.

But, any relief I felt soon turned to dejection when he didn't reach out at all. My heart hurt when it occurred to me that Edward might be making a clean break. Surely he wouldn't just disappear on me? Ghost me? I didn't need any more ghosts haunting me.

By Wednesday, the despair had begun to sink in, and by Friday, I was downright depressed. Emmett and Rose were both busy and Jasper was going on a date with Alice, so there was no one to distract me from my thoughts or the looming task I was avoiding.

Needing something to numb my anxious mind, I'd placed an order on Instacart for two bottles of rosé as soon as I walked in the front door of my apartment. I didn't know if the alcohol was to drown my sorrows or give me liquid courage to face my fears, but I hoped I could come to some sort of conclusion before I passed out drunk.

I'd changed into leggings and an old UDub sweatshirt and was trying to decide if I could be bothered cooking anything or if I should order something to eat as well when the knock from the delivery driver came.

Except it wasn't the wine I had been expecting, and now desperately needed, but Edward, with a bag of Chinese take-out in his hands.

I stood there, a little stunned, and we just stared at each other for a moment. His showing up on my doorstep was the last thing I anticipated after nearly a week of radio silence.

"What are you doing here?" I blurted out.

Edward's brow furrowed and his free hand ran through his hair. "I would have called first, but I didn't think you'd pick up." It wasn't an accusation, nor was it an answer to my question.

"No one our age calls each other these days," I tried to joke, but it fell completely flat.

Thankfully, Edward chose to ignore my awkwardness. "I come baring gifts," he said, holding the large bag of food out to me. "I got a little of everything so you didn't have to choose."

I once told him I used to do that when I was in college and I had a bad week or was studying for finals, or I needed to just let my brain rest. I wasn't very good at making decisions, and choices were exponentially more challenging when I was burnt out. By ordering one of everything I liked, I negated the need to make a decision straight away, and then I'd survive off the leftovers for days.

The fact that he remembered that warmed me, the corners of my lips tugging upwards. I stepped aside, widening the door to let Edward in.

"What did you order?" I asked, thankful for the neutral topic.

"Kung pao chicken, sweet and sour pork, beef chow mein, shrimp fried rice, egg rolls, and some wonton," he lists, setting the food on the kitchen table. "I even got some crispy Peking duck, which is hopefully still crispy after the car ride."

"Wow. You went all out."

"I also brought," he said mysteriously and reached down into the bag. Edward pulled out two envelopes and held them out to me. "These were in my PoBox when I checked it yesterday."

"Thank you," I said softly, sitting down at the table as I studied the two envelopes in my hand.

One of them was a standard cream envelope, with a loopy scrawl I could only assume belonged to my aunt. The other was large and blue, my name and the address on a printed label. Wondering what it was, I opened the blue envelope first. Perhaps it was copies of the photographs Jenny said she would send me, sent straight from the printer?

Inside, there was a large card, which looked like one that would play music when I opened it. On the front, in bright, multi-colored letters, were the words Welcome to the family. Overall, the card had taken a bit of a beating in the mail, a crease running across the width of it. The damage must have affected the chip that played the music because it thankfully didn't make any noise when I opened it. Inside was written what looked like a bible verse.

There is hope for your future, declares the Lord, and your children shall come back to their own country.

Jeremiah 31:17

Edward watched me, looking over my shoulder to see the message. "I don't want to sound rude," he said after a moment, his tone careful. "But that is kind of a weird gesture. I mean, she didn't even sign it."

I agreed with him, but I wanted to hold on to the hope I could build a good relationship with what was left of my birth family. I knew my aunt had remained a woman of faith, having been adopted by a couple from a nearby church, and in her eyes, it would be a sweet message.

"Maybe a little," I shrugged. I also couldn't help thinking it was an odd card. The message felt slightly cryptic. "But hey, at least it didn't start playing some horrible squeaky song." I knew I was downplaying my unease with humor.

Putting the card aside, I moved on to open the smaller cream envelope. Inside was the letter I expected, folded around two small photographs. The two sheets of paper were quickly dropped to the table when I saw the face looking back at me from the little portrait.

What struck me first was how similar we looked. The girl was undeniably my birth mother.

My face had the same heart shape, though hers was a little rounder. That might have been because she was so young in the photograph, though. I had looked similar as a young teenager. My nose was a little broader, but otherwise, it had a very similar shape to hers. Our eyes were eerily alike. The shape, the colour, our brows. Her hair was a thick mane of curls, a much lighter shade than my own, pulled back and secured with a large fabric bow. The pattern on the bow was the same as on the prairie-style dress she wore, pale with tiny little flowers.

On the back was an inscription. Bree, 14. The photo was taken a little over a year before I was born. She looked both incredibly young, and yet more mature than any fourteen-year-old should be. Her family had been living in the commune for four years, so there was no telling what sort of hell she had already been through by that point.

The other photograph was larger. It was of two young girls, the older one looked like Bree, a few years younger than the portrait, and the younger was most likely Jenny as a little girl. They were wearing matching pink, ruffly dresses, their hair brushed out and small flower crowns balanced on their heads.

On the back was written Bree and Jenny at the wedding. I assumed the photo was taken when Bree's mother married the man who moved them to Idaho, which would make Bree about nine or ten.

My eyes kept being drawn back to the smaller photograph. It was so incredibly odd to look at the face of someone and see yourself in them. Even more strange than seeing pictures of Maria.

With Maria, it was like viewing a parallel version of myself. It was incredibly surreal, and occasionally unsettling. But looking at the face of my mother was different. It was like seeing a part of my history I never understood before now.

This was my mother. The woman - the girl - who took her secrets to an untimely and premature grave. Without even knowing her, I loved her. My hands shook a little as my fingers unconsciously brushed across the photograph, as if trying to feel the warmth of my mother's skin.

"She's beautiful," Edward's voice brought me out of my reverie. "You look a lot like her."

"Yeah," I responded automatically, my voice wispy and light. My eyes still hadn't left her face.

Someone knocked on the door, but I was so enthralled that I barely noticed Edward leaving the kitchen to answer it. When he returned, he was carrying the two bottles of rosé I'd ordered.

"Hey," he said gently, setting the bottles on the counter. "How about we eat before the food gets cold? You can come back to the letter when your stomach is full and you've had a few glasses of these to fortify yourself."

After a week full of depression and doubting him, I was thankful Edward had the ability to make the most complicated situations easier to deal with.

When I nodded my agreement, still a little dazed and distracted, he began to pull the different containers out and open them, before he got out plates and set up the counter with all the food.

My attention was finally pulled away from the photographs when a generous glass of wine was waved in front of my face.

"Thank you," I said quietly, following him to where I could serve myself a little of each of the dishes he bought. I hope he knew I wasn't just thanking him for the wine or the food, but also for showing up, even when I had convinced myself he wouldn't.

Edward followed me into the living room and sat on the sofa together. I turned on the TV to a random cooking show and we ate in comparable silence, occasionally making awkward conversation about what was happening on the screen. I didn't know what to say to him and I was still afraid to hear what he had to say to me.

The dread began to rise again, sure that the reason Edward had been acting so uneasy was because he was building up to letting me down. That he would say sorry for having to reject her and pull away.

But, Rose's comments swam around in my head too. I was assuming again, putting words in Edward's mouth. There was also her advice that the only way to build a strong relationship, friendship or otherwise, was through the uncomfortable situations.

It was Edward who finally broke the tension. "Bella," he cleared his throat when the credits began to roll, putting his empty plate on the coffee table. "I wanted to talk to you about what happened on New Year's Eve."

My ears began to pound and I swallowed the food in my mouth thickly. I switched the television off and put my half-eaten dinner down beside his.

"The kiss," he specified, as if I didn't understand exactly what he was referring to. "I know it was totally unexpected. I guess I, um, I wanted to say I was sorry for…"

"No, I'm sorry," I interrupted him, my heart racing so rapidly, my stomach churned violently and I felt sick. "It was such a mistake and I wish it never happened, and everything between us could go back to normal."

Edward was quiet for a moment, his eyes boring into mine. They were intense, and I couldn't tell what he was thinking. Mine darted around, refusing to look at him until I hid behind my hair. But I could still feel his burning into me.

His next words were unexpectedly soft and considered. "Is that really what you want?" It wasn't accusatory, but genuinely curious about what I truly wanted. What I felt.

I finally looked at him, unable to hide the desperate confusion that raged behind my eyes. "No," I blurted out honestly, even though it wasn't the whole truth. "Yes. I don't know! I want to forget about it, I really do. I wish I could forget because it's all I think about now! All I've been able to think about since it happened."

I buried my face in my hands to try and hide the frustrated blush that spread across my entire face. All I wanted was to disappear. Or to wind the clock back to before everything had gotten so complicated. Though when that was, I had no idea. Probably years.

It felt like hours until Edward responded to my explosive admission, though it was probably only a minute or so.

"I don't want to forget it happened," he confessed.

My head snapped up and my bemused eyes met his wary green gaze. "What?"

"I don't want to forget it," Edward repeated with more conviction. "I know it wasn't the most ideal way for us to broach the topic, but…" I could see his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed thickly. His hand ran through his already wild locks, giving away how nervous he was. "I'm still incredibly confused and there's so much I still need to sort out. But, I can't forget it either, Bella. I… I find it hard to stay away from you and I'm running out of reasons why I should. "

Edward's candor paralyzed me, my body unsure of how to process his words. It was the complete opposite of what I expected to hear. Not only did he not want to forget about the kiss, but he couldn't stop thinking about it.

"You don't need to stay away from me," I said quietly, the thought escaping my mouth before I realised. "I-I don't fully understand it either, but I… I don't want you to stay away."

Edward reached over and gently took my hand in his. His grip was firm and reassuring. As we looked at each other, it dawned on me that Edward also felt the tug that pulled us together. He couldn't fight it any more than I could.

For one blissful moment, we were both on the same page. But, then the page turned and the rest of our story, all the reasons why we wouldn't work, came rushing back.

Guilt flooded in and I slipped my hand from Edward's, only to twist my fingers in a nervous ball in my lap. "But, what about Maria?" I choked, my throat aching with disappointment. "What about what everyone would think?"

Edward shook his head, running the hand that had been holding mine through his hair, making it stick up in unruly disarray again. "I wish I had a good answer for you, but there's a lot we will have to figure out. All I know is, I'm tired of fighting what I feel for you, Bella." After a pause, his eyes met mine, once again unsure. "You do feel it, don't you? It's not just me?"

I didn't understand how he could still doubt my feelings after I'd kissed him, but I could hear the insecurity in his voice. It was my turn to reach over and take his hand into mine.

"Yes," I whispered. "I-I do. I feel all of it." Edward reached over and cupped my cheek in his other hand. "I don't want to be away from you, but… I'm still just as confused as you are."

Edward's thumb stroked my cheek before his hand slid down and came to rest against my throat, his thumb nestled under my ear. My heart raced at the tender touch, which he probably felt under my skin, his large palm directly over my pulse point. All I could think about was kissing him again. Then his hand dropped down to our joined ones between us.

"We don't have to figure everything out all at once," he said reassuringly. "Right now, it's good enough to know that neither of us wants to forget about the kiss."

Unfortunately, I was still afraid of what acknowledging our feelings could mean. "I don't want to lose you. Our friendship means so much to me and if things didn't work out between us, I… I don't know what I'd do if you didn't want to be around me anymore."

"Why do you think I would turn my back on you if things didn't work out?"

"It-it might be too hard? Being around me like that might bring up too many memories. I never thought you'd think of me as anything other than a copy of your wife, so…" I drifted off with a shrug, uncomfortable confessing one of my deepest fears.

"Bella, no," Edward muttered, his hand gripping mine more firmly. "I… That's never been… I don't see you that way at all."

A wave of relief and hope washed over me. "You don't?"

"No," he said emphatically. "You are your own person. You may have the same face, but your eyes - your souls - they are different."

A warm blush flooded my cheeks as my heart thumped dramatically. I never truly thought Edward would return the attraction I had for him. And if he did, it would be because he saw Maria when he looked into my eyes. But he was looking at me the whole time.

Edward cast his eyes down. "Do you think I'm… You're not disgusted by me developing feelings for you, even though you look just like her?" he asked hesitantly. "Isn't that what people will think? That I only want you because of what you look like."

I could tell this was one of his greatest fears when it came to his feelings for me. The thought that niggled at the back of his mind. We had been afraid of almost the exact same thing, just the other side. A mirror of our worst-case scenarios.

"Of course, I'm not disgusted, Edward," I vowed. "It would be a bit hypocritical of me if I did. I always thought that's how you would react if you found out how I felt. I believe you when you say it's me and not Maria you see when you look at me. I wish I could tell you other people will think the same way, but I don't know if I can."

Edward smiled at me crookedly and rubbed over my fingers again. "The only people whose opinions should matter to us will listen if we explain it to them. Anyone else can go hang."

I rolled my eyes at him, but I couldn't help the smile that played at the corner of my lips. "I doubt it will be that simple. It will probably turn into a big old mess."

Edward sighed but didn't release his warm hold on my hands. "Perhaps. But I also think it would be stupid for us to keep pretending like there isn't something between us. Because it would feel masochistic to ignore whatever… this is." His finger wove between mine, bringing our palms together in an unexpectedly intimate embrace. "I think I'd rather make a mess than be stupid."

His point was a little melodramatic, but I didn't dispute it. It had been hard to fight the connection Edward and I had. Now that we knew the other felt it too, it seemed pointless to deny the gravitational pull.

"So dramatic," I giggled lightly as I succumbed to the urge to stroke my thumb across his knuckles.

"And as I said, we don't have to figure everything out right away. We can give ourselves as much time as we need." Edward reached up and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "There's no rush."

We stared at each other, his sparkling green orbs locked with my deep brown. His eyes flicked down to my lips and back again. My tongue darted out unconsciously, skirting over my lower lip like an invitation. Or maybe a dare.

"With that in mind," Edward croaked, clearing his throat and breaking eye contact. "I think I should probably go home-"

"What? Why?" I cut him off, suddenly desperate to keep him where he was.

A part of me was afraid that it was all too good to be true. That this was all a dream and when he left, I would wake up and everything would go back to normal. Like none of it had been said.

He smiled at me indulgently, finding my apprehension amusing. "I really want to kiss you right now, but I know that would be the wrong thing to do. We just talked about taking things slow and we aren't ready for that yet."

My heart warmed at his words. Both because they stoked the lustful fire that steadily burned for him and because his consideration showed how much he wanted to do things the right way. He knew we needed time and he was making sure neither of us rushed too far too quickly.

"Plus," said Edward, a more serious look on his face. "You've still got your letter to read."

With everything that had happened and changed in the last hour, I'd forgotten entirely about the unread letter from my aunt sitting on the kitchen table. The giddy feeling I had now was lightyears away from the anxious start to the evening, and I didn't want it to evaporate.

"Is it weird that I completely forgot about that?" I sighed and rubbed my eyes tiredly. "I don't know if I have the energy to read it tonight."

"You don't have to read it straight away if you don't feel up to it, Love. Just like with us, you can take as much time as you need," Edward said tenderly. "You look exhausted, anyway. Why don't you rest tonight and come back to it tomorrow when you've had a good night's sleep?"

I nodded in agreement with his suggestion, the tiring week creeping back up on me. As much as I didn't want the closeness that had formed between us to end, I could feel my stamina waning and my limbs getting heavier.

Edward followed me to the kitchen to retrieve his wallet and keys. He quickly helped me put the leftover Chinese food away, our bodies brushing against each other playfully. Each time his arm grazed mine, he smirked, so I knew it wasn't accidental. I started doing it back, which only caused his smile to widen and left us both grinning fools by the time the counter was clean.

We walked to the door with our fingers entwined, shooting furtive glances at one another. Before I could open it, Edward tugged on my wrist and pulled me into a firm embrace.

"Please just… please, don't change your mind," he mumbled gruffly. I could hear his heart pounding and could only assume that he was as afraid to leave this bubble as me.

"I promise I won't," I swore, hoping he could see the conviction behind my words.

His eyes shone with deep emotion. "Good night, Bella," Edward whispered, his arms clasping me tightly to him, as if he was trying to fuze us together. With my cheek pressed against his chest, I whispered my own goodbye in return.

After our embrace ended, he leaned back towards me. My heart thumped, thinking he was actually going to give in and kiss me. I wouldn't have resisted if he tried.

Instead, Edward placed a gentle kiss on my forehead, his lips lingering for a breath. My skin burned where they touched, my whole body warming with a satisfied blush.

If this was all we could have for now, I didn't care. I was more than happy to take whatever part of Edward he was willing to give.

"Bye," he said with finality as he unlocked the door. With one last look back at me, he turned and left, pulling the door closed behind him.

In a daze, I turned the lock and slumped against it.

My mind reeled and my heart raced. All my worries and fears were still there, but they were eclipsed by the effervescent joy that bubbled up inside me, erupting as uncontrollable giggles. Tonight was wonderful and unexpected.

I could still feel the heat of Edward all over me. The searing point where his lips had pressed against my forehead felt like was actually glowing. Like I was a lighthouse of happiness.

Slowly I calmed down, though the smile on my face never wavered. I drifted through my apartment, turning off the lights and getting ready for bed.

When I finally lay down, my body relaxed in a way it hadn't in a very long time and a deep sleep washed over me. After months - years, even - of upheaval and heartache, the dust finally seemed to be settling. And in the calm, I could see the seeds for a happy future.

So... squeal!!!!

They finally admitted their feelings to each other and neither of them exploded! I didnt actually plan for that to happen this chapter. I was going to have them read the letter together, but no matter how I tried to write it, one of them would always bring up the kiss first! Cheeky chaps

I hope the moment lived up to everyone's expectations! I love knowing what you all think, so let me know what you thought

As always, until next time Lovelies!