Taking Back the Crown

by JCMorrigan

Mozenrath. Archibald Snatcher. Roman Torchwick. Mad Madam Mim. Yzma. The Huntsman. Wuya. Ayam Aghoul. Their mission: take over the multiverse, or look fabulous trying. Rated M for swearing, steamy implications and VERY bloody battles. Contains slash and het shipping.

95. This Is My Nightmare

A/N: Warning for some gore/violence here.

...

"He did fucking WHAT?"

Garfield, Peter, Harley, Vexen, and even Aghoul watched from a distance, wide-eyed having to admit they'd never seen Roman Torchwick truly this enraged. Neo had, and so the interest with which she watched was somewhat less shocked than the others'. Snatcher stood directly before Roman, meeting his eyes, speaking in his natural timbre without so much as flinching in the face of Roman's fiery eyes, shaking fists, and strained face.

"You heard quite well what I said," Snatcher stated calmly.

Roman tried to formulate three different sentences before taking a slow, deep breath and exhaling it. It appeared to almost all present that he'd finally regained composure, but Neo knew what was coming next. She mouthed the words as Roman said them, calm as he could be:

"I'm gonna kill him."

"Torchwick, don't," Snatcher insisted. "We have our next lead, however ill-gotten it was. He was unable to actually carry out any of his implications."

"But he's still out there," Roman said through clenched teeth, "and if he crosses your path again, well, we won't have to worry about what he'd do, because I'm getting the jump on him."

"Torchwick," Snatcher sighed, "you can't expect to find him in this utter behemoth of a castle. The man will be long gone, and we aren't putting our search on hold in order to carry out a manhunt! Not to mention you've little chance of taking him alone in a fight – "

"Oh, you think I can't HANDLE him?" Roman growled, his anger showing through little by little.

"Absolutely I do," Snatcher countered, "and I'm not afraid to say it. If he could hold me in place, he'll snap your neck, see if he doesn't."

"Righty can just bring me back later," Roman seethed. "But no one, and I mean NO ONE, does that to you and gets to walk away alive."

"Torchwick, cease this nonsense at once – "

Roman had already turned around and begun to walk away. "Too late! You can't stop me! I'm gonna find him!"

Snatcher rolled his eyes before giving chase. "Torchwick, this is utter foolishness. Get back here!"

"No!"

"You're not even armed!"

"Don't care!"

"TORCHWICK, STOP!" Snatcher roared. "WE CAN'T AFFORD TO WASTE THE TIME, AND IT'S NOT AS IF I'M NOT RIGHT WELL USED TO IT!"

That got Roman to pause. He turned slowly, his anger now replaced with utter stupefaction, face flushing bloodlessly as his eyes widened. "What…the fuck…did you just say?"

"I said," Snatcher repeated confidently, hand on one hip, "that I'm right well used to it."

"You mean – "

"Such are the risks of infiltrating high society in the appearance of a woman," Snatcher stated calmly. "The men of the upper class, all the same, they are. Think they can put their hands wherever they want. All of them already wed, to boot. Didn't envy their wives one bit. If I murdered everyone who touched what he shouldn't have, I couldn't have gotten half as far as I did."

Roman was struck speechless. He hadn't been blind to the issue altogether. Neo had reported that much to him. She'd been groped before, and responded to every unwanted touch by severing the offending appendage. It angered Roman to know that men had tried to take advantage of her, but knowing the aftermath always made him all the more proud of her. He was confident she could take care of herself. Snatcher didn't have her prowess with a blade, and what's more, he wasn't the sort to carry out the deed while trying to keep up appearances. Roman found his stomach twisting and boiling; he'd never thought about this before, and he regretted not coming to this conclusion. Of course Snatcher would have been harassed, repeatedly. And grinned and borne it. Had any of them threatened to take it as far as this mystery Asgardian?

"Let him be," Snatcher growled. "We've other matters to focus on."

The sickness translated into one sharp burst of rage. Roman pivoted, drew back his fist, and then slammed a hard punch into the wall, almost hard enough to break his knuckles. Then he turned back to Snatcher. "You want me to forget about it?" he said. "I'll forget about it. But the guy who tries that while I'm in the same room won't get off so lucky, and I don't fucking CARE if it blows our cover."

"Your jealousy is nothing short of flattering, Torchwick," Snatcher said with a grin, "but you needn't go that far."

It wasn't jealousy. They both knew that.

Snatcher extended his hand demurely. "Back to business, shall we?"

Roman clasped it. "Back to business."

Together, they walked back down the hall toward the rest of the group.

While they'd been having their discussion at a distance, Vexen had struck up an observation: "I daresay the relationship between those two has caused us more grief than the actual threats within this castle. How many times now have we almost been slaughtered or brought unwanted attention upon ourselves because one of them had to avenge the other?"

"I think it's sweet," Harley commented.

Vexen gave a "hmph" to this.

"All the more fortunate I have never wanted this nonsense," Xayide, who stood directly beside Vexen, brought up. "I see no use for love."

"Bad breakup, huh?" Garfield asked, thinking he knew this story.

"No," Xayide dissuaded. "Never want nor need for love. They say it is not in a Fantastican's nature to love, but still the fools chase each other – hero Hynreck after Princess Oglamar and a thousand similar stories. Never have I even wanted anything of the sort."

"I see," Vexen stated, an honest smile (if one that still appeared shifty) spreading across his face. "I do believe you might be an aromantic, if you allow me to speculate."

"Aromantic," Xayide repeated. She had never heard such a term, but she knew the root words well enough to divine the definition. "One who does not love."

"In the romantic sense, anyhow," Vexen clarified.

"I like this term," Xayide said with a satisfied smile. "It describes me well."

"Might I also presume asexual?" Vexen guessed.

Xayide could figure out that word as well. "Indeed," she stated. "Never have I wanted the pleasures of the flesh. Never have they seemed like pleasures, truly."

"I am asexual myself," Vexen revealed, and it was at this point that Roman and Snatcher rejoined the group, listening in on the conversation. "Though not aromantic. I do wonder, however, given recent observations, if there is a connection between asexuality and rationality. You and I seem to be the only level heads here, after all."

"What a coincidence!" Peter cried, coming from seemingly nowhere to arrive behind and between Vexen and Xayide, wrapping an arm around the shoulders of each. "I'm asexual as well, you know. We are brothers and sister in arms!"

Vexen and Xayide shoved him roughly away. "Never mind," Vexen grumbled. "I obviously observed correlation rather than causation. After all, few are more irrational than YOU."

"I'll take that as a compliment," Peter said, beaming.

"Not to mention gays are superior to aces," Roman broke in, "end of discussion."

"Harley, are we just gonna sit back and let 'em diss bis like that?" Garfield asked.

"I think I ain't gonna get into this fight even for laughs," Harley sighed.

Neo had retrieved one of Xayide's hairpins and cast an illusion on it so it appeared to bear a tiny flag with blue, pink, and white stripes, which she waved smugly.

"As wonderful as it is that we all bear our pride," Snatcher said in Frou Frou's voice once more, "we must make our next move. And now that we have our lead – "

"Which you must admit came from a source that is dubious at best," Vexen pointed out. "There is a very real chance that this is a setup. I suggest we conduct reconnaissance. We will split into teams. One will scout ahead to this mysterious vault while the other will conduct a lighter sweep, perhaps seeking out alternate leads should this prove false."

"The usual division?" Aghoul suggested. "Two sorcerers with the infiltrators, and one with the others?"

"A sensible decision," Vexen stated.

"I agree," Xayide chimed in.

"Sounds great to me!" Harley chirped. Then: "Also, I…I think maybe it's gotta be me an' Romy who check out the vault."

Roman was taken aback. "Huh?"

"Well, this mission was all about you an' me seein' if we could get along after…well…you know," Harley admitted. "An' we ain't spent no time together at all. Only way we're gonna figure out what happens is if we go together, ain't it?"
"You have a point," Roman admitted. "Okay. You and me. Gar and Mister Twister?"
Harley shook her head. "Nuh-uh. I don't want 'em to accidentally end up bein' our go-betweens, since they're friends with both of us. I wanna figure out how we work without 'em." She gave a guilty look to Peter and Garfield. "No offense."

"None taken," Peter replied. "After all, you are the psychologist in the room. You know how interpersonal relationships work."

Roman was taken aback. "You're a psychologist?"

"Yeah," Harley replied, deciding it was better for now to not mention that it had been online study. People always tended to dismiss her knowledge of the field after hearing that, and she hated it.

"We HAD to have mentioned it," Garfield brought up.

"Well, if you did, I forgot," Roman admitted. "Guess we really do need a bonding mission."

"So who're our two magic makers?" Harley asked.

"NOT me," Vexen huffed. "I've had ENOUGH of accompanying ROMAN TORCHWICK."

"Still theorizing I'm your lovable dumbass," Roman quipped.

"Still delusional is what you are," Vexen shot back without missing a beat.

"Xayide and I would be more than happy to follow," Aghoul volunteered.

Neo hopped up and down, raising and waving her hand.

"Nuh-uh, Neo," Roman corrected. "You need to stick with Gar so we don't blow his cover, remember?"

Neo pouted.

"That leaves me, Jester, Corpsey, and Boat Lights," Roman counted. "Sounds like a team!"

"For the sake of your sanity, Monsieur Vexen," Snatcher reassured, "you may accompany me on our quest to seek out further information."

"And it looks like we're goin' with you two by process of elimination," Garfield pointed out.

"We promise far fewer puns this time around," Peter said in a mischievous tone.

Vexen began to wonder if he'd made the correct choice. He was stuck between a Roman-and-Aghoul alliance and a Garfield-and-Peter duo. He supposed at that point, it stopped mattering.

"Teams divvied up," Roman declared, "let's head on out."

"Best of luck to you, dear Torchwick," Snatcher said coyly.

Roman reached for Snatcher's hand – more hesitantly and gently than usual, Snatcher noticed, and he did hope Roman would get over this and not treat him like glass for more than a few hours – and brought the back it to his lips. "Same to you, my lady."

They both turned and stalked in opposite directions, with Xayide, Aghoul, and Harley following Roman and Garfield, Peter, Neo, and Vexen trailing after Snatcher.

...

Riku gaped, unable to form the proper words.

"Gosh," Applejack said softly. "I'm real sorry – "

She was cut off by Sonia stamping her foot hard on the floor. "JESUS FUCK!" Sonia cried. "SON OF A BITCH! WE CANNOT CATCH A BREAK!"

The crude outburst was met with a crowd of awed stares before Sonia said sheepishly, "I am not to be queen anyway. I may as well forgo decorum."

"What do we do now?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"I don't know!" Twilight said worriedly. "That should've worked, but it didn't, unless there was some variable we didn't take into account, but we followed Luna's instructions to the LETTER, unless I messed it up somehow – "

"I wonder if it is perhaps not the time to ask for further assistance," Luna declared.

"Who can we even ASK?" Twilight pressed.

"The most intelligent pony I know," Luna answered.

...

Celestia had received the letter stating that she would be receiving guests only two minutes before the Corridor opened up in the Canterlot castle's throne room. Luna, Cadance, Shining Armor, Riku, Sonia, Twilight, Rarity, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Spike emptied out into the hall, all looking more or less dejected.

Celestia barely flinched. "I do welcome the company," she greeted, "but I cannot help but sense distress among you. Why not begin by introducing me to the infamous Riku and Sonia, and then we'll see if I can help you with your problem."

"This is my sister," Luna introduced. "Princess Celestia raises the sun – and, in my absence, the moon." She turned to look at Celestia, and even Luna was surprised at the venom on her tongue when she next spoke: "A duty I suppose you have been enjoying greatly."

"Not at all true," Celestia said calmly. "The moon has always been your domain. I raise it because I must, but I know not the art of creating the night the way you do. Some nights, I selfishly wish for your return so I may see the beauty of the nights you create again. I know, however, that your current work is far more pressing."

Luna was taken aback by the response. "I apologize for presuming," she muttered.

"Do not worry," Celestia reassured her with a smile. "You have had a much greater duty to carry out than raising the moon, and I hope to hear all about your adventures someday soon."

Luna nodded. "It appears news has already traveled to bring you Riku and Sonia's names. They are travelers from other worlds." She indicated the two humans. "Step forth."

Sonia gave a polite curtsy while Riku performed a quick wave.

"Hey," Riku greeted.

"It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, your highness," Sonia said mechanically.

"Oh." Riku realized perhaps he had been too casual. He was just so used to acting as King Mickey's close friend. He inclined his body forward into a bow. "Your highness."

Celestia laughed. "There is no need for such formalities. Please address me as a friend. After all, you are already friends with Luna, Cadance, and Twilight, which makes you friends to me. Now, what is it that brings you to me with such somber expressions?"

Everyone tried to speak at once. When they realized the chorus was doing no good, they all fell silent.

"Riku, maybe you should just do all the talking," Twilight suggested. "You know the whole story.

So Riku explained it all to Celestia. Once he had finished, the white alicorn pondered his tale.

"It is strange indeed," she admitted. "One must wonder what connected your friends to Equestria and where they now reside. And there has been no further call from your Cutie Marks at all?"

"Nothing!" Twilight cried. "They've been completely still! It's like we're out of options, but we CAN'T be out of options! I'm the princess of friendship! I can't just let Riku down like this! But I don't know what to do!"

"Worry not, Twilight Sparkle," Celestia reassured. "You have already done so much, and you have not given up yet, I can tell. Do not fret over that which you cannot control." She thought it over a little more. "The key must lie in dreams. Luna, you were wise to search shared dreams."

"And yet not wise enough to know where Mal and Lianna are hidden away," Luna said somberly. "If they still exist."

"Don't say that!" Riku chided. "They're out there!"

Celestia suddenly gasped, eyes expanded.

"What?" Twilight asked. "What'd you figure out?"

"Perhaps nothing," Celestia prefaced, "but perhaps…something you may not have considered. It is simply that the most I know of dreams connects to Luna."

"You already said that," Spike pointed out.

"Yes, but there is more to it," Celestia explained. "As most of you know, but some of you may not, roughly one thousand years ago, Luna and I had a dispute that escalated dramatically. I responded to this dispute by imprisoning Luna in the moon: a decision that still haunts me to this day as perhaps being the wrong one."

"Do not consider it wrong," Luna said coldly. "I threatened you with your demise and this entire world with oblivion. The banishment was a mercy."

"Before that banishment, Luna took on the name 'Nightmare Moon,'" Celestia went on, "and her power over dream escalated exponentially. When she returned from the moon, she seemed almost stronger. And whenever I asked her of her time spent in banishment – "

"I remember very little," Luna filled in. "I remember fear and anger. I remember nightmares. Barely any more."

"It certainly draws a link between dreams and this world's moon," Celestia concluded. "I wonder if that might not be where you find more answers."

"Of course!" Luna gasped. "Much of the dream magic I learned relied on moonlight. During my banishment, I do know that I became immersed in nightmares. My power when I first became Nightmare Moon…it was drawn from the moon itself. Lianna and Mal had told me they were where dreams go. Perhaps the manifestations we saw of them in Ponyville and the Crystal Empire were merely that: manifestations."

"Wait," Rainbow Dash broke in. "Lemme just make sure I got this right. You're saying you think Mal and Lianna are on the MOON?"

"That is indeed what I am saying," Luna confirmed.

"That doesn't make any sense," Riku pointed out.

"On the contrary," Luna told him. "It seems to make too much sense now. They connected to me from a center of dreams, and have been flickering into different lands of Equestria through the moonlight."

"But why this world?" Riku wondered out loud.

"As I have traveled to other worlds," Luna admitted, "I have noticed a difference in the moons I have encountered. All are linked, but none was my moon. I wonder if perhaps the moon of Equestria is inherently connected to the Realm of Sleep and therefore dreams. All along, it has been where dreams from all over the multiverse may gather."

Pinkie Pie nodded. "Yup! That checks out!"

"If Pinkie Pie says it checks out," Rainbow Dash sighed, "that means it DOESN'T CHECK OUT."

"Hey," Twilight argued, "Pinkie Pie has been able to predict a lot of things that didn't seem to make sense at first. I trust her Pinkie Sense."

"And my Pinkie Sense says we should check out the moon!" Pinkie asserted.

Celestia nodded. "It may be the key to saving your friends."

"Will we not die on the moon without air to breathe?" Sonia asked, worried.

"Without air?" Celestia repeated.

"I suppose yet another difference between my moon and the others," Luna suggested. "I never encountered any trouble breathing during my banishment."

"Could you make us a Corridor back there?" Riku asked Luna.

"Yes," she said. "I could. However, this may be a dangerous journey. My memories of the moon are filled with fear. I worry I encountered malignant forces there that may still be present."

"Now this sounds like my kinda mission!" Rainbow Dash cried.

"D-danger?" Fluttershy stammered. She inhaled deeply. "I'm going to be brave and come with you."

"I WANNA GO TO THE MOON!" Pinkie cried, bounding up and down.

"I ain't lettin' y'all go alone," Applejack asserted.

"Far be it from me to back down now," Rarity agreed.

"I'm in," Twilight said definitively.

"They're my sisters," Riku insisted. "I have to go."

"This is exactly what I signed up for," Sonia added. "I will accompany you there."

"I dunno," Spike said nervously. "If it's all the same to you, I might sit this one out. It's the place where Nightmare Moon became even scarier!"

"Somepony should keep Spike company," Cadance said. "Not to mention if something should happen to you…"

"We'll need backup," Riku agreed. "Staying back is a good idea."

"If Cadance is staying, so am I," Shining Armor insisted.

"I, for one, am quite glad the two of you are sitting out on this one," Rarity commented. "You've got so much lost time to make up for, after all!"

Shining Armor and Cadance looked to one another, smiling softly. "It's gonna be hard to let you go again," Shining Armor admitted.

"We can talk about it," Cadance promised.

"If all is in order," Luna declared, "let us proceed."

She cast the Corridor without further ado and strode through.

"Good luck!" Spike called out.

"Luck's got nothin' to do with it!" Rainbow Dash insisted as she sped through.

"Thank you all the same, Spikey-Wikey," Rarity cooed before following Rainbow Dash.

Riku barged through next, then Sonia. Pinkie Pie threw herself in headlong with a yip; Applejack followed soon after. Fluttershy hesitated, but Twilight waited for her, giving her an encouraging smile that inspired her to walk into the portal.

Twilight looked to Celestia. "I promise I won't fail this time," she asserted.

"All I ask is that you do your best," Celestia replied.

Twilight nodded, though Celestia could tell she hadn't quite taken Celestia's words to heart. Then Twilight departed, and the Corridor closed.

...

The MLS Vicious sailed calmly yet swiftly through the Etherium, passing planets of both the solid and gaseous variety, clusters of glimmering stars, and streaks of brilliant color. Hämsterviel kept busy hustling between the deck and the engine room to ensure the ship was still fueled properly. Wuya and Hannibal were locked in a practice spar down on the main deck, Hannibal resizing himself at will with the Moby Morpher to counter Wuya's deadly dance. Snipe had re-obtained a diabolo and was quite dexterous with it, keeping his reflexes sharp and his hand-eye coordination on point by manipulating the toy to roll back and forth on the string between its two handles while he spun it around his body like a dancer's ribbon. Draco stood as close to the prow as he could without falling overboard, gazing at the vista before him. From up on the helm, the Huntsman kept course, steadying the Vicious as needed. Mozenrath stood beside him to make conversation.

All in all, déjà vu.

Until Mozenrath made the critical error of sighing, "Could this get any more boring?"

Before the Huntsman could answer, Discord popped into existence on Mozenrath's other side. "BORING?" he repeated with a wide grin. "Did you just say this adventure was BORING? Well, have you ever hired the right draconequus! Boring is my enemy! Luckily, I know how to defeat it. What say you we put this little road trip on autopilot and head down below for some team bonding time?"

"That won't be necessary," the Huntsman argued – only to find that the ship was already steering itself, the wheel no longer responding to his hands.

"Too late!" Discord laughed. "See you down below!" With that, he vanished, reappearing on the lower deck.

Mozenrath and the Huntsman exchanged a glance.

"I'm going to regret this," Mozenrath stated. "YOU'RE going to regret this."

"No doubt," the Huntsman confirmed.

"And yet," Mozenrath went on, "we're both going to go down there anyway."

"Also no doubt."

They arrived to see Discord clap his paw and claw together so sonorously, it reverberated like thunder. "ATTENTION PLEASE!" Discord called out, watching the gazes of all seven passengers lock onto him. "Who here is BORED?"

Wuya immediately put up her hand.

"Well, there's other ways to let a fella know he's gotta shake up his duelin' style," Hannibal muttered before similarly putting up a tendril.

Snipe chucked the diabolo back over his shoulder before stretching up his hand. "I am SO bored!" he proclaimed.

"My current emotions are synonymous with the very definition of boredom!" Hämsterviel concurred, his own paw shooting up.

Draco rolled his eyes before raising his hand middling high.

Discord finally turned back at the Huntsman and Mozenrath, both of whom sighed as they put up their own hands.

"Well, good news, everybody!" Discord cried. "I've got the cure for your boredom! Why don't we start by playing a classic road trip game?"

His fingers snapped.

Suddenly, the Etherium in front of the Vicious was filled with hovering road signs reading slogans of all sorts, from "SHARP TURN" to "FALLING ROCKS" to "EAT YOUR VEGETABLES" to "SHARK?".

"What in Ahriman's name is this?" Mozenrath sighed.

"You've NEVER played the alphabet game?" Discord gasped, aghast.

"What is the 'alphabet game'?" Wuya asked. "And the answer had better reveal that it's far less designed for five-year-olds than it sounds."

"Who here actually HAS played the alphabet game on a long road trip?" Discord asked.

All hands went down.

Discord gave a horrified gasp. "Well, you haven't LIVED!" He explained as the Vicious began to sail through the field of road signs: "The rules of the alphabet game are simple. You have to spot every letter in the alphabet on the signs in order, but you have to indicate WHICH sign you're taking from, since no two people can use the same sign to get their letters. The first person to see all the letters from A to Z wins!"

"So this is for five-year-olds," Wuya stated dryly. "All right. It'll pass the time."

Mozenrath rolled his eyes. "I'm not wasting my time on such a stupid – "

"There's an A!" Wuya cried, pointing to a sign that read "ETHERIUM WORK AHEAD" (and, in smaller letters, "Uh, yeah, I sure hope it does!").

"Ohhhh?" Hämsterviel retorted. "Well, there's an A AND a B!" He pointed excitedly at a sign that read "BANANA!". "Which puts me AHEAD OF YOU!"

"A," Draco declared as he pointed out a sign. "And I'm not about to be outdone by a talking gerbil."

"HAMSTER!" Hämsterviel shrieked, hopping up and down irately. "I AM NOT GERBIL-LIKE! I AM HAMSTER-LIKE! DO NOT CALL ME A – "

"B," Wuya pointed out while Hämsterviel ranted.

"B and C," Draco retorted.

"That'll be an A," Hannibal broke in.

"A!" Snipe declared loudly, pointing at another sign.

"That does it," the Huntsman relented. "I refuse to be bested by SNIPE." His eyes searched the field of text. "A…B…and C."

"THAT'S IT!" Mozenrath cried, pointing at a sign so that a small burst of blue ricocheted off of it. "There's my A, because I'm not going to lose to any of you!"

"Oh yeah? Well, there's my C."

"B! HA!"

"C…AND I HAVE SEEN A D BEFORE THE REST OF YOU!"

"D! AND E!"

Discord sat back and chuckled as the seven fervently pointed at letters, now hellbent on outdoing each other. The game got progressively more difficult as the journey progressed, with such letters as "M" being sparse and signs that simply read "QQQQQQQ" turning up.

"What can I say?" Discord asked when pressed. "I've always liked the letter 'Q.'"

It was Mozenrath who sniped the Z before anyone else, boasting, "And that gives me the victory over ALL OF YOU. Which should remind you why I'm in charge around here!"

"Yes," Wuya said with a smirk. "You've always been superior to the rest of us at finding letters on road signs. That's why you're the boss."

Mozenrath's face fell.

"Shall we start over with another round?" Discord suggested.

"No," Mozenrath growled.

"Good," Discord replied, making all of the signs disappear with a snap. "I was hoping to try some other activities anyway. For example, this isn't just a ROAD TRIP. It's also technically a cruise!"

A floral-print shirt appeared wrapped around Discord's upper body. A large, floppy hat was skewered by both of his horns; great black sunglasses perched halfway down his nose; and an iced drink with a lemon wedge over the rim of its glass appeared in his claw.

"And what better way to pass the time on a cruise than to play SHUFFLEBOARD?" Discord asked gleefully.

The deck was suddenly marked out with scoring lines; red and blue pucks were congregated at the start of them.

"Judging from the looks of this," Mozenrath groaned, "I could probably think of at least ten better ways."

"But you didn't," Wuya reminded him, "so this is what we're doing."

"A-HAAAAA!" Hämsterviel cried. "Now THIS is a GAME! On my home planet, we called this 'Shambleplank.' And I was UNDEFEATED at it! Legions would try to break my record, only to fail embarrassingly! …Before I had them all jailed for treason. That was, of course, when I RULED that planet, which was the most triumphant two weeks of my entire life."

Without letting anyone comment on all there was to unpack there, Hämsterviel surged toward the pucks, choosing one and then picking up a nearby cue to shove it exactly into the "10" area. "Beat THAT!" he challenged.

"I'll take you up on that," Hannibal declared, taking his own puck and attempting to sabotage Hämsterviel's shot only for the puck to overshoot and end up out of bounds.

"No," Mozenrath said firmly, folding his arms. "Just…no."

"Now this, I won't even dignify," the Huntsman agreed, adopting a similar pose.

"ANYONE else?" Discord suggested.

"This game is boring!" Snipe complained.

Draco simply sneered, his upper lip curling.

Wuya reluctantly walked up to the edge of the scoring area. "It's something to do," she declared, "though it's too similar to curling. Curling would actually be fun."

"It would, wouldn't it?" Hannibal said nostalgically.

"Did I hear you say you'd rather be curling?" Discord asked.

Without warning, the deck's boards chilled beneath Wuya's bare feet. The wood was transformed to ice, curling stones placed where the pucks had been.

"Now this, I can enjoy," Wuya said with a smirk.

"NO!" Hämsterviel cried. "MY SHAMBLEPLANK RECORD!"

"If it makes you feel any better, you technically won," Discord said from directly behind his elongated ear.

"That is NOT a consolation!" Hämsterviel grumbled.

That attitude kept him on the sidelines while Wuya and the Huntsman competed for dominance on the curling field; Draco and Hannibal swept for the former while Snipe and Mozenrath were forced to work in tandem to sweep for the latter.

"This is EXACTLY like your Shambleplank," Mozenrath told Hämsterviel after the Huntsman's stone had knocked Wuya's out of the scoring area, "except for the fact that it requires actual skill and effort."

Hämsterviel's only response was a "Hmph" and the folding of his arms.

Somewhere along the way, he realized Mozenrath was right, and ended up riding one of Wuya's curling stones on its way to bash the Huntsman's off-kilter, crying, "ONWARD, INANIMATE GEOLOGICAL STEED!"

The Huntsman took the victory in the end, and Discord showered him with a bouquet of flowers and a gold medal, elevating him on a platform while chucking a silver medallion so that it bounced off Wuya's forehead. The Huntsman was quick to dump the flowers over the side, but decided to keep the gold medal with no defense.

"What next?" Discord asked.

"BOWLING!" Snipe cried excitedly.

So bowling it was. The deck was converted into a bowling lane with pins held up at one end; the seven took turns launching balls – each favoring a certain color – that dispensed from a nearby device. Wuya showboated, pirouetting and roundhouse kicking before letting her ball fly, which hardly did any good, as it veered off course and brought down only two pins. Hannibal simply pitched the ball down the lane only for it to end up in the gutter. Hämsterviel ended up spinning down the lane while clutching his bowling ball, getting a laugh out of everyone who wasn't Hämsterviel himself.

Snipe barged up to the lane, sized up the pins, and simply launched his ball through the air; it sailed over the lane entirely.

"THAT'S CHEATING," Mozenrath complained.

He got the last laugh when the ball bounced off the wall above the pins that held the resetting mechanism; the ball then shot right back where it had come from and slammed square into Snipe's sternum. Due to Snipe's strength and bulk, this did him no damage aside from a slight bruise, but it angered him considerably and caused him to accuse, "I'M NOT CHEATING! THE BALL IS!"

The Huntsman was up next and already suspicious. It seemed strange to him that Wuya, Hannibal, and Snipe should all have such terrible aim, even if Snipe had an unconventional way of reaching his goal. He took care to let his ball fly, and sure enough, it hit the gutter. The Huntsman knew he was trained to execute far more precision than that, and so spun to observe his companions with suspicion.

This time, Draco was just a hair too slow in displacing his wand. "Bloody Muggles," he taunted as he strode to the starting line. "Strip a game of magic for them and they can't even play it right."

The Huntsman hastily stepped to Mozenrath's side and whispered fervently to him.

Draco's bowl knocked over most of the pins, but left him with a 7/10 split. The blond cursed this turn of events; Mozenrath was simply glad no one had noticed the blue auras that had temporarily glued down pins #7 and #10.

Gossip spread, and the bowling tournament turned into a cheating extravaganza. Snipe hurled two balls at once through the air only for both to come flying back at him. Wuya steered hers with telekinetic tricks before Hannibal revealed that he had been the ball the entire time and had no intention of knocking down any pins for her. Mozenrath forwent using a ball at all and simply blasted himself a strike with magical energy. All the while, Discord ate an inordinate amount of popcorn, chuckling as the ante was upped. In the end, there was no real way to quantify a winner, but the only way to get Snipe to stop threatening to violently crush his entire crew was to state that he had won and have the Huntsman (reluctantly) grant him his gold medal.

"You know what I'm in the mood for?" Discord suggested once that debacle had calmed down. "LASER TAG!"

The deck was transformed into an indoor laser tag arena, outfitted with all sorts of walls and obstacles. All were clothed in tight-fitting vests that glowed with bright lights; each was outfitted with a complex-looking gun that was obviously a toy.

"WHAT?" Mozenrath yelled in confusion, looking down at his pistol.

The others all seemed to know what to do, either by instinct or from having heard of this game before, and they scattered, with Wuya pursuing Draco, Hämsterviel taking a strategic vantage point behind a wall, and Snipe shooting at random.

"AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO DOESN'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON?" Mozenrath cried angrily.

He was seized by the cape roughly and pulled behind a defensive wall by the Huntsman, who hissed, "You cannot stand out in the open like that!"

"I can't actually believe that whatever this is, you're taking active part in it," Mozenrath told him.

"It isn't dissimilar from training activities done at the Academy," the Huntsman explained. "You've got to play it smart, though. That vest you're wearing will detect if it is hit by the laser fire. At that point, you will be ruled out."

A loud buzzer sounded. A screen mounted at the top of the ceiling depicted Snipe crossed out by a red X, indicating that he had been hit. This was accompanied by the sound of Snipe wailing, "Awwww, no fair!"

"Stay close to me," the Huntsman told Mozenrath. "If we work together, we can eliminate the competition."

Mozenrath nodded. "I've got your back if you've got mine."

"Always."

That was surprisingly touching. Mozenrath found himself flushing slightly as he turned his back on the Huntsman, laser pistol pointed outward. "Bring them on," he growled.

He inched forward, peering around the wall, only to see none other than the Huntsman rushing toward him at top speed, yelling, "MOZENRATH! DON'T!"

Baffled, Mozenrath looked from the Huntsman chasing him down to the Huntsman guarding his back. "Wait – "

His back was not being guarded after all. In fact, it had a pistol pointed to it. And the minute Mozenrath turned to face the one who'd dragged him behind the wall in the first place, he was gunned, his vest emitting the loud buzz and the screen atop the arena showing his disgrace.

"Moby Morpher," the Huntsman who'd engaged Mozenrath said all too gleefully, revealing his true form as Hannibal Roy Bean. "Now, how'd someone smart as you fall for the oldest trick in the shapeshifter's book?"

Mozenrath, enraged, rushed out onto the field, forging a crackling ball of blue magic in his hand. He launched it up into the air, and it surged, sending out lightning strikes of energy to zap the vests of Wuya, Hämsterviel, Draco, Snipe (despite him already being out), Hannibal, and even the Huntsman.

"I have had ENOUGH of these GAMES!" Mozenrath roared.

The laser tag arena disappeared, leaving the ship's deck the way it had originally been, and Discord zipped right up next to Mozenrath. "Aww," he teased, "does someone need a time-out?"

"I DON'T NEED – "

Before Mozenrath could finish the sentence, he found himself atop the crow's nest, brought there by Discord. Several stacks of books awaited him there.

"Now, I do know how you like your privacy when reading," Discord told him in a tone obviously meant to be reassuring. "Not to worry! You will be completely undisturbed and have all the time in the world to brush up on several very enlightening topics! Well, all right, not all the time in the WORLD. We eventually WILL arrive at our destination, after all."

Mozenrath was struck silent by confusion at first. Then he plucked the top book off the stack, expecting some sort of trick. Opening it up, he found it to be a volume detailing the effects of natural phenomena (such as black holes) on magic.

"I didn't create them, by the way," Discord explained. "I borrowed them from several libraries around the Etherium. And yes, I'm willing to foot the overdue fees."

"You're giving me privacy to read all of these on my own," Mozenrath reiterated. "Why does this sound too good to be true?"

Discord placed a hand on his chest. "Why, Mozenrath!" His eyes widened dramatically. "I am SHOCKED that you would suspect me of having any ulterior motive besides your comfort and enjoyment! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go back to entertaining those who actually take pleasure in fun and games."

He vanished. Mozenrath chanced leaning over the side of the crow's nest to spot Discord down below among the others; they were having a conversation he couldn't hear. Curious, Mozenrath created a small scrying window, zooming it in on the deck below to get a clearer view and hear exactly what was being said.

" – and come up with all sorts of inside jokes that Mozenrath won't get!" Discord laughed. "Then we'll bring them up in front of him later! It's going to be HILARIOUS!"

"I disagree," the Huntsman grunted. "And furthermore, I refuse to take part."

"Well, I think it'll be a good laugh," Wuya said with a shrug. "Let's do it."

Mozenrath gave a slight smirk as he dismissed the scrying window, settling down to sit inside the crow's nest and plucking a book from the stack.

"Joke's on you, Discord," Mozenrath muttered to himself as he cracked the book open. "I spent the better part of my life not getting invited to parties."

...

Scroop's vessel had been overturned to Latrasian authorities, and the Gummi ship was now back on track. Donald had taken over driving for two reasons. For one, he really wanted to. For another, Dr. Doppler was peppering Sora with so many questions that Sora was getting distracted from the Etherium ahead, and already, they'd nearly crashed into two different asteroids.

"Again, I want to DEEPLY apologize for my role in the incident," Doppler said sheepishly.

"Hey, it's fine!" Sora told him. "We can just paint over the dent before Stork notices. And now that Donald's driving, you can ask me all the questions you want!"

"Well, let's see." Doppler counted the topics off on his fingers. "We've already been over the existence of other worlds, life and culture on Radiant Garden, your team of associates, the witch Maleficent and her minions, the WHAM ARMY, Gummi ships and blocks, Keyblades, basic magic, advanced magic, Agrabah, Jabberwock Island, Disney Town, the Destiny Islands…what else is left?"

"Maybe you should talk about Xehanort!" Goofy suggested.

Sora gave a groan. "Goofy! I don't even understand Xehanort!"

"Xehanort is another friend of yours?" Doppler guessed.

"Far from it." Sora folded his arms. "He's another bad guy, only he uses some weird possession of other people to make everyone like himself. He's trying to orchestrate some big clash of Light versus Darkness."

"And is he with Maleficent or Mozenrath?"

"He's his own thing," Sora answered.

"You, er…you seem to make a lot of enemies," Doppler pointed out.

"Hey," Sora argued, "I just mess with people who mess with my friends! Like that Scroop guy. If he tries to mess you up again, I'll stop him as many times as it takes!"

"Are you saying you consider me a friend now?" Doppler asked, taken aback.

"Duh!" Sora said with a beaming grin. "Of course we're friends!" Concern then crossed his face; "Shouldn't we be?"

"Oh, no, there's no problem with that whatsoever!" Doppler told him. "It's just that – well – oh, never mind it. I'm simply VERY glad to have earned your friendship. You truly are an inspiring young man, you know. What I'd give to have half your confidence."

"Hmmm," Goofy broke in, thinking over what Doppler had refrained from saying. "I'm guessin' you don't make friends easy back home, do ya?"

"Well, you do know what they say," Doppler replied. "It's better to have a few very close friends than a crowd of acquaintances who barely know you. Which isn't to say that that's what YOU'VE done at all, of course. As quickly as you make friends, it does sound like you have a natural affinity for reaching the core of what a person's about."

"That's our Sora!" Donald affirmed.

"It just so happens that I DO have this nasty habit of rambling," Doppler went on, "and, well, that can, to put it simply, bore people. I haven't bored you yet, have I?"
"No way!" Sora cried. "All the stuff you told me about your world is really interesting!"

"But this isn't about pitying me," Doppler went on. "This is about our exchange of knowledge! Now done in the name of true friendship!"

He extended his right hand; Sora grasped it with his own and shook it firmly.

"Hey!" Goofy suggested. "Maybe you could come back with us an' help us out at Radiant Garden!"

"How's an astronomer s'posed to help us fight the bad guys?" Donald grumped.

"Hmm." Goofy thought it over. "Don't know. But it's gotta come in handy sometime, right?"

"No, really," Doppler insisted, "I would be all but useless to your operation. Now, Amelia and Jim, that's a different story! But of course, we all have our own lives to attend to here." He turned to gaze out the dashboard window. "Not that I haven't dreamed of more, of course. Oh, how I do wish I could travel beyond the Etherium and see some of these worlds you've told me about. The wonders! The knowledge that could be obtained! The things we could bring back to help the Etherium, and the things the Etherium could share with other worlds! Alas, it's not to be."

"Well, why not?" Sora asked. "You guys would only need two rooms, right? We could double up more roommates." He turned back to Goofy. "What do you think…would Katara and Moana make better roommates, or Moana and Kairi? Or Katara and Kairi?"

"Nora and Yuffie keep hanging out together," Donald chimed in. "Just stick them in the same room!"

Goofy gave a giggle. "M'self, I think that's 'cause Nora and Yuffie are sweet on each other! But don't tell 'em I said that, a-hyuck! It's gotta come naturally!"

"Nora and Yuffie?" Sora cocked his head. "Since WHEN?"

"Since YOU'RE NEVER HOME TO PAY ATTENTION TO THINGS!" Donald huffed.
"Oh." Sora deflated somewhat. "Sorry, guys."

"Oh, we don't mind," Goofy told him. "You got a big job! You've already done a lot to stop this Mozenrath stuff from gettin' worse than it already is!"

"Yeah!" Sora cried. "Like when we stopped him and Roman from taking all that…Dust…oh. No, they got away with it that time. But we beat 'em on Atmos! …No, they got their ship that way. We chased 'em out of Knightdock…but they took the six souls and left that town kind of a mess. At least we…finally fixed Disney Castle? No, wait, I wasn't even there for that part."

"But you fought all those Heartless in the Fire Nation!" Goofy reminded him.

"That wasn't Mozenrath!" Donald chided. "That was Maleficent! Mozenrath got away with killing the dragon!"

"Oh," Goofy replied. "Well, uh, there was the time you saved the Light spirits in Hyrule – "

"That wasn't Mozenrath either," Sora said dejectedly. "That was Maleficent. Mozenrath actually did a lot of that work for us, too. And we let him get away with hurting Midna, tricking Zelda, AND stealing the Fused Shadow."

"Savin' the World of Twelve?" Goofy suggested.

"Oh, yeah!" Sora perked up momentarily before frowning again. "That did a lot of good for that world…but the WHAM ARMY still got away with what they wanted. I couldn't even stop them from using all that stuff in the end! That was Aladdin and…that whatever-it-was that showed him the way!"

"But you did save Rapunzel from them!" Donald pointed out.

"Yeah," Sora agreed, "and I'm glad, 'cause she's a really good friend, and she loves the adventures we get to go on so much." He sighed. "But that's about it. I really haven't been able to do anything about the Mozenrath problem at all, and that's the entire reason I've been gone so much. I dunno, I'm kinda starting to feel like…maybe I'm useless."

"Now, don't say that!" Goofy argued.

"But what if it's true?" Sora posed.

Doppler cleared his throat. "If I may…I mean, of course, I don't know your history, and perhaps it isn't my place to intrude, seeing as I've only just been introduced – "

"SPIT IT OUT ALREADY!" Donald barked.

"It's just seemed to me in my own personal experiences," Doppler explained, "it's very easy to feel useless. Situations come along that you just can't seem to do anything about, and it makes a person feel…hollow, really. But eventually, a time will come that you are able to rise to the occasion and assist those you care about in a way that matters. And those same people will be there to help you realize just how important you've been. As important as they are to you." He swung his fist emphatically through the air. "So keep your chin up, and keep giving it your all!"

"Hey, thanks," Sora told him. "That actually does help. Maybe I haven't had much luck yet, but I will if I keep trying!"

"And it sounds like you've already had a lot of luck succeeding at other things," Doppler reminded him, "even if you haven't accomplished the goal you set out for. If I'm interpreting what I'm hearing correctly, a lot of people are very lucky you turned up at the places you did when you did."

"That's right!" Goofy confirmed. "Everywhere Sora goes, hearts shine a little brighter!"

"Aww, Goofy!" Sora replied, flattered. "Thank you!"

"Don't look at me!" Donald harrumphed. "I'm not gonna say anything that sappy!"

"Yeah, but I know deep down, you're thinkin' it!" Goofy laughed.

"Don't you guys sell yourselves short either," Sora told them both. "You've helped out so many people! And I wouldn't be able to do any of what I did if you hadn't helped me start out and made me smile!"

"Always happy to help, Sora!" Goofy replied.

"Yeah, yeah," Donald brushed off.

Sora turned his attention back to Doppler. "We got off the subject!" he cried. "You and Amelia and Jim should totally come stay with us! Actually, Jim should meet Cid. The two of them can work on Gummi ships together! And Amelia can help us plan strategies and fight enemies – maybe you can make a map of the worlds or something and help us figure out shortcuts, or see if there's a pattern to what worlds Mozenrath visits!"

"I appreciate your vote of confidence," Doppler told Sora. "Really, I do. But as I said, we have responsibilities here. There are the children to think of!"

"Bring 'em with!" Sora insisted. "There are plenty of people who'll help you look after them!"

"But my studies here!" Doppler argued. "I've been trying to get symposiums under way concerning my work. Granted, no one has actually committed…or even let me rent a venue…but all the same, I'm so close!"

"I'm pretty sure we have symp…whatever that was on Radiant Garden," Sora stated.

"Symposiums!" Donald corrected. "And what Sora MEANS is that you can talk about your research to people on THAT world!"

"That'd be all the more special to 'em," Goofy contributed, "since none of 'em know about your world, so everything you'd be tellin' 'em would be brand-new!"

"But Amelia's work with the Navy!" Doppler argued. "I can't take her away from that! No matter how dull she claims the royal conferences are. She's been given almost a hiatus since becoming a mother, and how can I take her away from what few assignments she does get?"

"So bring her somewhere she won't be bored and she'll get all the work she wants!" Donald huffed. "Like Radiant Garden!"

"And Jim," Doppler continued. "He's got his mother to worry about, and the Benbow Inn."

"But didn't we show up right when Jim was tryin' to run away from all that to go on this adventure?" Goofy asked.

"True," Doppler conceded, "but he obviously intended to return to life as usual once he'd retrieved that accursed map! No, it simply won't work! Thrilling as it would be."

"Well…" Sora shrugged. "Suit yourself. But the offer's always open."

"And for that, I truly thank you," Doppler stated.

"So what do you wanna know about next?" Sora asked.

Before the conversation could progress further, the sound of two pairs of thundering feet was heard approaching rapidly. Jim and Kazuichi appeared from the lower level, hoisting the solar surfer in between them.

"WE FUCKIN' DID IT!" Kazuichi cried.

"Language, Mr. Soda," Amelia said matter-of-factly.

"Oh." Kazuichi flushed. "Sorry." He cleared his throat to try again. "WE GOD DAMNED DID IT!"

Amelia rolled her eyes.

"I think we actually managed to put a hyperdrive mode on this thing," Jim announced. "I mean, we haven't TESTED it yet, but this thing should basically be able to WARP."

"Hyperdrive is still only a theoretical concept," Doppler stated, unfazed. "I highly doubt you've managed to pull it off in the lower storage room with a few tools and a solar surfer."

"Yeah, but we also had Gummi blocks!" Jim argued.

"AND the Ultimate Mechanic!" Kazuichi supplied.

"What we really need to do is test it to make sure," Jim stated. "Maybe if we brought it out for a run – "

"That would require us to halt the ship," Amelia interrupted, "which, under current circumstances, we are in no way doing. Mr. Scroop and his band of bottom-feeders have already lost us far too much time."

Sora immediately rushed to Jim's aid. "We could race!" he suggested, as though Amelia had said nothing. "Master Yen Sid's been teaching me how to turn my Keyblade into a skimmer. We could see if your surfer goes faster than it! …Which I'm willing to bet it WON'T!"

"Okay, that was definitely a challenge," Jim responded.

"Mr. Hawkins!" Amelia chided. "Have you listened to a word I've said?"

"Yeah," Jim argued, a smug smirk on his face, "but HE'S the captain of this ship." He pointed to Sora.

"That's right!" Sora affirmed. "And I say we've got the time!"

Amelia looked quite disgruntled that she knew she had no valid argument against this.

Without further ado, Sora threw open the side door, tossed the Keyblade out, transformed it into his skimmer – a red-and-gold craft that rather resembled a surfer itself - and hopped onto it with both feet before zipping out of sight. Jim followed with the surfer, unfurling its sail before stepping on it.

"Donald," Goofy said, "you should stop the ship so we don't lose 'em."

"All right, all right, I'm doing it!" Donald grumbled as he brought the Gummi ship to a halt.

Out the dashboard window, everyone watched Sora and Jim race toward an asteroid in the distance. "Your captain is…very impulsive," Doppler pointed out.

"That's Sora," Donald agreed.

"Kinda sounds like that's somethin' he's got in common with Jim, come to think of it," Goofy mused.

"Sora's got somethin' in common with everyone!" Donald pointed out.

"I don't doubt it," Doppler commented.

"I do wish it wouldn't cost us precious time," Amelia huffed.

"Well, at least they're having fun," Aladdin suggested. "Almost wish I had Carpet around so we could REALLY settle the score."

"Havin' fun's an important part of every mission!" Goofy pointed out. "After all, if ya don't stop to have a little fun, then you're just gonna get all into the downy-dumps and not wanna give it your all!"

"That's why this boat runs on happy faces!" Donald reiterated.

"I think they've got a point," Jasmine stated.

"Perhaps they do," Amelia said pensively. "After all, Mr. Hawkins does respond well to levity…"

"Maybe it's your turn to cut loose and have a little fun next, huh?" Kazuichi suggested.

"I am having precisely as much fun as I need to be," Amelia told him.

The skimmer and the surfer rounded the asteroid, neck and neck. As the Gummi ship, which Jim and Sora had designated as the finish line, neared, Jim smiled, pressing his heel to the new pedal he and Kazuichi had installed.

All saw the surfer make a leap across reality in the blink of an eye, going from right beside Sora to several meters in front of him. He boarded the ship with a loud whoop.

"WE DID IT, ALL RIGHT!" Jim cried.

"OH, HELL YEAH!" Kazuichi responded, sharp teeth bared.

Doppler and Amelia simply stared, slack-jawed, at Jim, who they'd just seen steer a craft into completing a physical impossibility.

"He wasn't joking about being the Ultimate Mechanic," Jasmine said slyly.

Sora boarded the ship but a moment later. "That was AWESOME!" he cried, Keyblade returning to hand as a weapon before vanishing in a twinkle. "I bet that's gonna come in handy later!"

"You put up a good fight," Jim told Sora. "Maybe after this is over, I'll race you without using the hyperdrive, and we'll see who REALLY wins."

"You're so on!" Sora replied.

"CAN I START THE SHIP NOW?" Donald cried.

Sora quickly pulled the side door shut before telling the duck pilot, "You're good!"

...

Maleficent's private session looking over maps in her private chambers aboard the Unstoppable was interrupted harshly by the sound of an electric guitar riffing as hard as was physically possible, playing scales up and down and all around. The noise was unbearable and impossible to ignore; Maleficent had attempted for at least five minutes now. The harsh sound pierced her consciousness no matter what, and she quickly gave in, storming out onto the deck to locate the source of the noise and put it to rest.

There was Hades, fingers doing gymnastics over the strings of a bone-white, skull-shaped guitar he'd managed to conjure from thin air, his knuckles ablaze with blue flame from the rapid motion.

"HADES!" Maleficent cried, already fed up with whatever he was doing this time. "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?"

Hades ceased playing on a shrill note, looking up to meet Maleficent's gaze as the flames on his fingers doused. "Oh, hey, Malef!" He broke into a fanged smile. "Didn't see ya there. Glad you could make it, though. I ever tell you I could play this thing? No? Didn't think so. But while you're here, I just so happen to have a song I want you to hear. Not that I was, y'know, tryin' to get your attention so you could hear this or anything – "

Maleficent responded to this with a stony, unreadable glare.

Hades took that as his cue to let the main attraction begin. He brought the guitar into a tune that was bouncy and chipper – a stark contrast to its harsh, edgy sound. After playing a short intro, he began to sing: "All my life has been a series of lightning bolts in my keister. And then suddenly I bump into youuuuu…"

He trailed off, continuing to play the same measure again and again.

"Um, now is when you jump in with your half," Hades told her. "Anytime."

Instead of chiming in with song, Maleficent raised both of her fists to the sky, crying, "ENOUGH!"

Though she was still at depleted power from the loss of the Dragon's Eye, she had quite a bit of magic in her yet, and a loud thunderclap punctuated her cry.

"WHAT has become of you?" Maleficent growled at Hades. "Since we have begun this expedition, you have acted the part of a simpering fool, and aimed to belittle me at every turn! I called you to my side for this task because you were one of my most trusted allies, and one who exhibited a desire to cause misery and havoc! All I have seen on this venture gives me cause to think you have suddenly transformed into an utter buffoon. If you are no longer the cruel, spiteful and intelligent Hades I trusted, then I have no further business with you!"

She turned on a heel, storming back down belowdecks.

Hades pursued her as far as her quarters, guitar in hand. "Wait, babe, wait!" he said in desperation. "You didn't even let me get to the chorus! LOVE IS A CLOUDLESS SKYYYYYY – "

The door was slammed, locked, and magically fortified in his face.

Hades stared at the door for a good half minute before the guitar vanished in a rush of flame.

As soon as Hans heard his name being bellowed at top volume, he turned and bolted, soon realizing the hard way that aboard a light ship, there was nowhere to actually go.

Hades roared into existence in front of him, an absolute pillar of flame surrounding him and acting as an extension of his body. "YOU! ARE! TOOOOAAAAAAST!"

"EVERYONE falls for the song!" Hans babbled. "EVERYONE! Even MOZENRATH! How didn't – " He backed away hastily. "I'm sorry. I didn't know, okay? I'll think of something else, I promise – "

Searing red heat locking around his throat. The pain was so intense, he didn't even notice at first that Hades had picked him up by the throat, lengthy fingers curled around his neck, and hoisted him directly over the side of the light ship, dangling his feet over the abyss. Hans sputtered, choked, gasped for air.

"I trusted you with ONE THING!" Hades raged. "ONE TINY LITTLE THING! Something YOU promised me you were GOOD at! But I guess that was all FALSE ADVERTISING, because Maleficent is now two steps away from CALLING OUR WHOLE ALLIANCE OFF!"

Hans attempted to make a retort, but found himself unable to form words between the choking, the burning, and the fear.

"Logically, I know I should just drop you over the side and let you die of exposure," Hades snarled, "whether you STARVE or you FREEZE. THAT would be the only way to REALLY pay you back for what you did to me! But let's be honest here: that wouldn't be HALF AS SATISFYING as ROASTING YOU TO A CRISP! Your time has just run OUT! ANY…LAST…WORDS?"

All Hans could muster was a "Cccckkkkhhhhhh…"

Hades pulled him close, their faces inches apart so that Hans could see the ire in his eyes. "That's gonna look real bad on your tombstone," Hades hissed, "but I'll make sure they spell it right."

"Enough, Hades."

The declaration from Maleficent caused Hades to freeze in place. Hans was far too panicked to register anything that was happening.

Maleficent approached Hades calmly from behind. "Now, this is more of what I expected from you," she stated. "The unabashed cruelty. The unfettered rage. Responding to a wrong by exacting proper revenge. This is the Hades I tasked to accompany me. And it seems I now have an explanation as to why he was buried for so long."

"All because of THIS…LITTLE…YUTZ!" Hades growled.

"Do put him back on the deck," Maleficent commanded – though strangely softly. "He has earned his place for bringing us Mozenrath. But more importantly, we require him to crew the ship."

Even in the midst of his rage, Hades knew better than to disobey Maleficent. He turned and threw Hans across the deck; the prince hit the ground with limbs splayed.

Maleficent strode to stand over him. "There are medical supplies in the lower cabins," she stated coldly. "Tend to your burn, then return to duty. Do NOT trespass upon my chambers."

Hans still found himself unable to speak, so he simply scrambled to his feet and made tracks.

"As for you…" Maleficent turned to face Hades, who was regarding her with almost apprehension. "Your belittling was on his command. For what reason did you listen to such a pitiful mortal?"

"I was TRYING to get you to FALL for me!" Hades growled, no longer inhibited. His emotions still burned, and suddenly, there seemed no risk in letting Maleficent know the truth upfront. "Mr. Matchmaker claimed he knew all the tricks to get that to happen, but all he's proven is that it's a MIRACLE he got ANYBODY to get with him in the first place!"

Maleficent's smile was downright playful. "Surely you have realized by now that the way to my heart is not with tricks or games, and certainly not with kind favors." The smile twisted into a frown. "I despise kindness."

"Look, I was about ready to move Olympus and Earth for ya," Hades told her, "but if that's not what ya want – "

"What I want is the man who was willing to sear the one who wronged him to death at a moment's notice," Maleficent stated calmly. "The man who craves all the power of the gods and would destroy countless lives to attain it."

"Wait a tick," Hades realized. "You're tellin' me…that all I had to do was just ASK?"

"Which you still have not done," Maleficent reminded him.

"Heh." That brought a smirk to Hades' lips. "Whaddaya say, Malef? You wanna be my Queen of Olympus?"

"I should think romance between us will strengthen our alliance most wonderfully," Maleficent stated. "After all, I have long admired your fiery disposition."

"Exactly HOW long have you been after me?"

"Perhaps too long." She strode toward him. "You may seal our new agreement with a kiss, if you wish."

"Oh, Malef, babe, I WISH, all right."

His lips met hers, and it seemed this was something that had been missing for a while but had finally settled into place. Two different forces of nature, disasters to be reckoned with, meeting in the middle and finding peace in the eye of the hurricane.

Just around the corner of the door to down below, Hans listened in and smiled to himself. They'd come together over Hades trying to kill him, so technically, he was responsible for this after all. "I've still got it," he rasped hoarsely to himself before hurrying to find some cold water and a bandage.

...

Snatcher's team had barely gotten down the hallway before a voice definitely addressed him with "THERE you are. I've been waiting."

Snatcher, Vexen, Neo, Peter, and Garfield all pivoted to see who had spoken. Framed by the doorway of an adjacent chamber, there was a man, skin pale as snow and hair dark as the starless night, dressed in raven-colored robes. An Asgardian, they assumed, and one of the upper echelon of the court, given his manner of dress that was vibrant in its colorlessness and the way he smiled as though he knew something they didn't.

Which, given that he was actually the demon Blackheart, he most certainly did.

"You're the ones they sent for the debriefing," he said with a smile, "aren't you? You're already ten minutes late."

Snatcher realized that he had to play the part. It seemed this man's actual appointment didn't intend to show up, and this was the best way not to draw suspicion. "Oh, but of course!" he replied smoothly in Frou Frou's lilting tone. "We had simply gotten mildly lost in all of these twists and turns. But rest assured, we would NEVER forget about the debriefing."

Vexen was already on high alert. This was all too convenient. He would play along for now, but the theory he had been mulling over was starting to congeal.

"Step into the war room," Blackheart encouraged, moving back into the chamber. "My favorite room."

The war room was decorated with maps of all sorts, pinned to the walls and spread across a gigantic table. Blackheart took his place behind the table while Snatcher, Vexen, Neo, Peter, and Garfield stood at the other side, wondering exactly how they were going to play this off.

"As the general of the Asgardian army," Blackheart lied, "I've been ordered to orchestrate our strategy for the final assault on Jötunheim." Of which there was no such plan. "We're going to wipe those overgrown trolls out once and for all." He fixed his eyes upon Snatcher's meaningfully for that line.

"A noble goal," Snatcher replied out of instinct, bewildered by the fact that Blackheart's eyes seemed to be an ordinary shade of blue and yet caused him to shiver upon meeting the gaze, as though he'd just looked down a hole in the ground with no defined bottom.

Blackheart looked down to the maps, tracing them over with his bone-white index finger. "War is such an interesting thing, don't you think?" he mused. "We pick battles over just about anything, all to have an excuse to kill each other. Then we kill and we kill and we kill, and it doesn't matter if innocents get caught in the crossfire or not. No one ever starts a war for noble reasons. They say they do, but it's really bloodlust. And it isn't over until one side is completely ruined beyond repair." He looked up to his addressees, showing off just how broadly he was smiling. "I love it."

Neo nodded in agreement while Vexen raised an eyebrow.

"Now, I don't believe I've ever seen anyone take that much joy in cynicism," Peter observed. "It's almost paradoxical."

"What's your smile for?" Blackheart countered. "Are you really that much of an optimist? This realm and every other is built on suffering. This castle lies on a foundation of blood. It's all a game of subjugate or be subjugated. The only ones who win are the ones who play dirty, so why not indulge in a little sin?"

"Now, that part I would agree with," Peter stated. "What you've said about sin, I should clarify. Every world being built on suffering…mmmm, not so much."

"It's beautiful tragedy," Blackheart argued, still smirking. "If war doesn't get you, natural disaster will. Disease, starvation, fatal accidents. The lucky ones die. More often, people just get left with wounds that don't heal. Everything from heartbreak to heart failure. If your life has gone well enough that you think the world is a beautiful place and people are inherently good, then you haven't lived. I'm starting to think you need to wipe that smile off your face and see the truth." He lay a hand on the table, leaning on it as he inclined forward, now fixing his abyssal gaze on Peter. "Suffering never ends."

"On the contrary," Peter replied, placing his own hand on the table and leaning in toward Blackheart. "Suffering is temporary. All wounds heal, given time. You just have to learn to be flexible enough to go with the flow. Sure, the world is rife with war and poverty and men dressed as clowns who gas civilians into submission. But for all of that, there are caches of jewels and rare antiquities coveted by doll enthusiasts just waiting for you to step up and take them for yourself. Opportunity always knocks, after all. I don't sin because it's my only choice. I sin because it's fun. And what is life without fun? You're not going to scare me off thinking about it by threatening me with the suffering."

Blackheart eased back. "That's an interesting way to think about it," he said. "But I think we've gotten off track. I want to tell you my grand plan for the complete and total destruction of Jötunheim."

Neo bounced up and down on the balls of her feet, applauding lightly at the thought of complete and total destruction.

"I thought we could utilize magic to its fullest potential," Blackheart stated, straightening up and holding out one hand, palm upward. "Specifically fire." A small black flame erupted in his hand, flickering frenetically. Much like his eyes, it suggested an abyssal depth to the eye, as though it were a portal to somewhere much bigger and horrifying. "Fire is fascinating, isn't it? It exists to consume. To destroy."

His smile widened, and he hated having to even insinuate to Peter that his brand of sin wasn't done out of his own sense of fun.

"I want to engineer a new kind of Asgardian super-soldier," Blackheart went on. "My idea is to imbue the element of fire into his very skin. This would be strictly a suicide play, of course. The 'firemen' would slowly combust from the inside out, becoming more destructive as the seed takes hold. They could enter Jötunheim without anyone noticing anything wrong…until the magic starts to break through their skin and glow."

Garfield's fists tensed.

"From there, they'd only have a limited amount of time," Blackheart explained. "Anything they touch would burn. Their armor. Their weapons. Food. They would even start to burn through the ground they walk on. Their goal is to get to the heart of the enemy base before the magic finishes blossoming. Because when it hits the critical point…" He chuckled. "Boom."

Garfield was sweating profusely now, begging his own mind, no, not now, not here…

"The Jötunn palace goes up in flames," Blackheart described. "The entire realm melts from an icy wasteland into a brown one. The Jötunns all die in the flames, their skin burning away to ash as their organs split open and their eyes melt out of their heads. Sure, the super-soldiers would have to die, but I'm not a sadist." (It took all of his willpower to deliver that line with a straight face.) "I'd only take volunteers. Men who, deep down, just want to blow everything to Hell."

He turned to face Garfield directly then, holding out the black flame before his face. "Any takers?"

"NO!" Garfield cried, backing away. "No, no, no…I can't…I gotta – "

He gave a sharp gasp, then turned and bolted from the room.

Blackheart extinguished the flame by clenching his hand into a fist, turning his attention to Peter, who watched Garfield's trajectory with concern. "Doesn't look like his wounds have healed," Blackheart taunted. "You wanna try and tell me how great the world is now?"

Peter turned to look Blackheart directly in the eye, and Blackheart could tell that he wasn't offput by the depths of his blue eyes. No, Peter was regarding him with righteous fury now. His effervescent smile had faltered completely.

Snatcher and Vexen flicked their gazes between Blackheart and Peter, unsure what move to make.

Once Blackheart had his target in sight, stare locked on stare in a duel of intensity, he reiterated his claim: "Suffering. Never. Ends."

Peter's smile returned as a wide, crooked smirk. "You know, in your case and yours alone, I hope you're right. You should suffer for all eternity."

He then turned and bolted from the room. Snatcher and Vexen, feeling they were caught up in a riptide over which they had no control, exchanged a glance. "My, my," Snatcher said suddenly, "look at the time. Lovely idea you've got, quite…descriptive, can't wait to put it into practice, really MUST be going now, double-booked for appointments, isn't that right, Mr. Vexen?" All the while, he backed away toward the door, heels clicking.

"Indeed it is," Vexen confirmed. "We wouldn't want to be late to our next engagement." He followed Snatcher out the door in a perfect façade of calm.

Neo held back a moment, squaring up to face Blackheart directly. She gave him a wordless, venomous glare that promised hefty punishment to come his way should they cross paths again.

"You think I'm scared of you?" Blackheart chuckled. "You have no idea who you're dealing with." He leaned forward, putting up both hands in a gesture of mock frightening. "Boo!"

Neo slowly slid her index finger across her neck.

Blackheart could do nothing in response but laugh, starting out as a giggle and rolling into a cacophonous guffaw. Now Neo did flinch, for she saw a sign that she and the others were perhaps dealing with more than they believed at first sight. As Blackheart laughed, his mouth appeared to split at the edges, becoming wider, more jagged, inhuman.

Neo quickly tore out of the room, hearing his laughter echo after her even several feet down the hallway.

As Blackheart calmed down, he thought to himself that this had almost been worth it. He'd balked at first when Loki had doled out his assignment; Victor got to use physical force, so why should Blackheart be demoted to psychological warfare? It seemed it should be the other way around. Yet for what little Blackheart had gotten to throw his weight around, this had been gratifying, especially when he'd been able to rise to the challenge of wiping that naïve smile off Peter Merkel's face.

And if Loki's plan came to fruition, he would be able to cut loose with some good old-fashioned violence later on.

Garfield hadn't gotten too far; Peter found him soon enough for comfort. Though he still looked to be dressed in Asgardian garb, he'd removed his helmet and fuel tank, and the items lay on the floor beside his feet as he leaned his back against the stone wall, eyes closed as he breathed erratically.

Peter's gait slowed; he approached Garfield as though nothing were wrong, at first. When he stood directly before his boyfriend, he said softly, "Penny for your thoughts."

"This entire castle," Garfield related. "Everyone in it. Roman. Mr. Snatcher. Harley. You. I promised I wouldn't hurt Harley or you again."

"I know."

Garfield's voice caught in his throat; "I'm trying to get it to STOP – "

"Now, you know that's not how it works, Garfield. That's never been how it works."

Garfield refused to open his eyes, but put out his right hand, palm up. Peter enclosed both of his own hands around it, intertwining the fingers, feeling the rough texture of the glove he couldn't see. "Thinking about it isn't the same as doing it," Peter reminded him.

"I don't trust myself," Garfield said hoarsely. "It looks GOOD. It feels GOOD. And that's why it's so bad."

"I trust you, Garfield. Do you trust me to trust you?"

A long silence before a soft "Yes."

By then, Snatcher, Vexen, and Neo had caught up. "What's happening?" Snatcher asked, slipping out of Frou Frou's timbre. "What's all this?"
"Something you were never supposed to know about," Garfield sighed.

"Nothing, really," Peter hastened to cover. "If you'll give us just a moment alone – "

"No," Garfield interrupted, finally prying his eyes open and thus revealing the pain behind them. "They should know now."

"Garfield, you don't owe them – "

"Let go of my hand."

" – anything, especially not something you wouldn't tell them before the – "

"LET GO OF MY HAND, PETER."

Garfield spoke with such ferocity that Peter immediately obeyed, dropping his hand, though not surprised so much at Garfield's tone as his conviction.

"You know about when I was Phosphorus," Garfield opened.

"Right," Snatcher confirmed as Neo nodded.

"I do believe you've neglected to tell ME this particular story," Vexen brought up.

Garfield gave a sigh. "Gotta make this short. Okay, so I was messin' around with nuclear power to up my game in a last-ditch attempt to blow Gotham, and there was an accident. The radiation went into me and turned me into a walking bomb. It messed with my body and it messed with my head. It was exactly like that guy said. The worse it got, the less things I could actually touch without burning them. It's hard to explain. It was torture, but I was loving it. At the end, I got it in my head that I should just…blow up Gotham. Go out with a bang. Using my own power. And I almost got the chance. The Bat stopped me at a nuclear plant before I could wipe the city off the map. I knew Harley and Peter then, and there was this girl. The less said about her, the better. I wasn't even thinking. It took me until they caught me and pumped me full of five different meds at Arkham for me to realize that I almost just wiped all of them out without even caring. It was pretty rough coming to terms."

He inhaled deeply, exhaled deliberately. "They fixed me up, but not quite in the head. Ever since, I keep getting these…these thoughts. I don't even know if that's the right word, because I don't ask for 'em. But I keep thinking like I did when I was Phosphorus. Usually at night, but sometimes when I'm awake. I imagine places I love burning down because of me. Or blowing up. Usually just wherever I'm in. I think about the people that would die. And it feels just enough like something I want to do that I get…guilty, I guess. Because I don't really want to. But it sure feels like I do, and even after promising Peter, and now Harley, that I wouldn't hurt them, that's still part of it. Them, I mean. Them going out in the blaze. It's terrible. I hate it. And it always just takes me over. I feel light-headed and like I'm gonna fall apart. Lose my appetite, too. Most days I do okay, but that guy just brought it all back when he described it word-for-word." A pause. "You guys were gonna figure it out eventually anyway."

Neo's expression was surprisingly sympathetic. Snatcher regarded Garfield cautiously, trying to figure out how to diplomatically proceed. Vexen's gaze was fixed, stony, emotionless as ever.

"Now hold on a moment," Snatcher remembered. "I recall back at Radiant Garden, you waking up in a state of distress and 'needing air' – "

"Yeah," Garfield confirmed. "It was one of those."

"Intrusive thoughts," Vexen stated calmly.

"Excuse me?" Garfield replied.

"What you're suffering is known as 'intrusive thoughts,'" Vexen stated, "though your case is of course complicated by other symptoms. Intrusive thoughts originate from the subconscious but are not indicative of any desire you wish to carry out in reality. Rather, they reflect taboos you wish to avoid. If I were to guess, I would say that given the symptoms they come in combination with, this is a lingering effect of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder from the incident. However, one cannot rule out damage done to the neural pathways during the actual incident being responsible for the aftermath."

Garfield would almost have taken the explanation as a thoughtful gesture had Vexen not said it in the exact methodical tone that revealed his true intention was just to show off how much he knew about neurological disorders. "Thanks, I guess," he muttered. "So. You guys still wanna offer me my spot on the team back knowing I might flip out and blow you all to heck at any minute?"

"Well, for what it's worth, you've managed to do a good job of not killing us en masse so far," Snatcher stated, matter-of-fact. "It stands to reason that will remain status quo."

"As I said," Vexen asserted, "intrusive thoughts reflect what you DON'T wish to do. You NO LONGER wish to destroy your surroundings. Were you not paying attention to me at all?"

Neo made a quick heart shape with her hands, directing it at Garfield.

"The biggest problem we have at hand is not a nonexistent threat from Garfield," Vexen brought up. "This debacle only confirmed what I have been suspecting for some time. We did not enter Asgard unnoticed. The enemy is well aware we are here. Furthermore…I am beginning to have my doubts that the enemy is Odin."

"And what makes you so sure they're onto us?" Snatcher asked, surprised at this development.

"Think about the order of events that has transpired thus far," Vexen recalled. "First, the one called 'Doom' shows up exactly when we are invading our first forbidden space, and physically threatens multiple of us. This was the least specifically tailored attack to us. When your aggressor came onto you at the ball, it was a strategic ploy. Didn't it seem too convenient that you would be immediately approached by someone of your desired body type and hair color – "

"You don't know a thing about my type," Snatcher huffed quickly.

" – and then harassed in a particular way you'd experienced before," Vexen went on, "when this mystery man knew you would attempt to play it off. All the while divulging the exact information it had previously been so difficult to come by. That was when it started to seem a little too coincidental. Now, a third man has singled us out specifically to trigger Garfield's disorders, using exact language from a chapter of his past that he should not reasonably know about. This was calculated to the letter. Furthermore, Odin would likely have simply arrested us on the spot once he learned of our presence, making us aware of our charges. Anyone with a basic understanding of mythology knows that to be his mode of operation. We are being pursued by an altogether different saboteur: one who WANTS to lead us to where we believe the Tesseract will be!"

"Preposterous and unbelievable!" Snatcher cried. "How would anyone even know we didn't belong? We've acted with utter stealth! We've been practically invisible!"

Vexen fixed Snatcher with a glare of disbelief before seething, "I've no idea WHO OR WHAT could have TIPPED US OFF. Certainly not your or Roman Torchwick's SWAGGERING at top volume."

"No, definitely not that," Snatcher muttered with complete sincerity, trying to think what could have been the giveaway and ultimately concluding that the plan had been too flawless for him to ever know.

"The point is that we are EXPECTED to arrive at the very vault that Roman and his band are investigating as we speak!" Vexen barked. "The trap has been laid for us, and they're walking directly into it!"

Neo gave a gasp, placing her hand over her mouth.

"We've got to warn him," Snatcher said breathlessly.

"You mean we've got to warn THEM," Peter corrected.

Snatcher gave him an incredulous look before refusing to respond verbally at all, simply breaking into a run down the hallway. Neo followed immediately. Garfield was the next to pick up his things and take off, and Peter followed his lead, turning one impossible-looking somersault before breaking into a gait on foot. Vexen followed as closely as he could, which, given his average running speed, resulted in him crying repeatedly to "SLOW DOWN! IF YOU GET LOST AND LEAVE ME BEHIND, IT'LL BE YOUR UNDOING!"

...

The Equestrian moon was bleak, an expanse of plain white rock that stretched off into a nearly flat horizon only impacted by craters. That horizon was dark, the sun nowhere to be seen and the only natural light provided from pinpricks of stars. As promised, the air was completely breathable.

"Darling, this is absolutely DREADFUL," Rarity bemoaned to Luna as the group crossed the wide, rocky plain. "It's all monochrome!" (Sonia flinched at the word.) "There's simply no aesthetic whatsoever! And you were banished here for a THOUSAND YEARS?"

"Gosh," Applejack said in awe. "Never quite thought about it that way. Musta been real torture."

"And nopony to hang out with or play games with or sing songs with!" Pinkie Pie gasped.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that," Riku said sympathetically.

"Do not pity me for it," Luna replied. "For one, it was the price I was required to pay for my actions. And for another, I did not actually spend my exile here, in this landscape."

"You…didn't?" Twilight replied, confused. "I thought – "

"It was indeed on the moon," Luna explained, "but I do not remember becoming particularly bored of this view. The memories are vague, but I recall…elsewhere."

"I wanted to go to Elsewhere once!" Pinkie cried happily. "Buuuuuuut I didn't earn enough vacation days to really make the trip worth it."

"Where else could you have been?" Fluttershy asked.

"IT'S THE MOON!" Rainbow Dash cried in frustration. "There's only one place to go, and THIS IS IT!"

"What is that?" Sonia asked, pointing directly ahead.

A landmark had appeared on the horizon. From that distance, the group could discern no details but for its bright whiteness.

"I'm willing to bet that's 'elsewhere,'" Riku stated.

The group hastened to close the distance between themselves and the new landmark, though the speedier (that is to say Rainbow Dash) hung back to let everyone else catch up. It soon became clear that the landmark was a tall set of double doors that reminded Riku all too much of the manifestation of Kingdom Hearts found at the End of the World. Unlike those doors, these were shorter, with no window carved in, and bordered with a frame made of crystals lodged together, with a tall, multifaceted keystone at the top. The doors appeared to lead nowhere at first sight, unconnected to any sort of structure and freestanding. Strikingly, they lacked handles.

"This ringin' any bells?" Applejack asked Luna.

"Yes," Luna admitted. "This is familiar to me. I have passed through these doors before. And yet…I could not begin to tell you what is on the other side."

"How're we s'posed to open doors without handles?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"I got this!" Pinkie Pie volunteered. She sped up to the doors, pressing her hooves to them. What exactly she tried, no one was sure, but she came away sighing. "Nnnnope. Can't do it."

"I actually thought that was gonna work," Twilight admitted.

"Maybe the Keyblade can do something," Riku suggested, bringing the aforementioned weapon out to view.

"Actually, I don't think we'll need it," Twilight said, glancing over the doors. "These are just like the door I found in the Crystal Empire that led to the hiding place of the Crystal Heart. We passed through it once in the dream and once in the waking world, but both times, it was already open. The key to getting it to hold still and unlock was that crystal up top. So if I do this, it should work."

Twilight closed her eyes, concentrating hard. Her horn sputtered, then crackled with Dark energy. Twilight twitched as she struggled to control the power she was summoning before unleashing a beam of it at the keystone crystal atop the doorframe.

The doors shifted, then gradually creaked open, revealing a black void beyond.

Once Twilight heard the doors open, she ceased her spellcasting, panting heavily from the effort.

"That was a powerful Darkness," Riku said in surprise. "Where did you learn that?"

"I saw Celestia use it once to conjure an image of what the Crystal Empire would look like if Sombra overtook it," Twilight admitted. "It turned out to be the spell that opened up all of the crystals to Sombra's half of the castle. …I didn't even think about the Darkness of the spell. Should I not be using it?"

"Darkness is not inherently evil," Luna reminded her. "It is the core of my magic. What matters is how you choose to use it. Many of its purposes are to do damage. But there are certain advantages that come with mastery of it combined with good intent."

"Shadows still help me navigate the light," Riku admitted. "Still, I could sense the Darkness coming from you when you cast that spell. You have the capacity for a lot of it."

"Is that bad?" Twilight asked.

"No," Riku affirmed. "It's like Luna said. It's all in how you use it. It just struck me as odd that you were able to harness so much Dark power so quickly."

Twilight gave Riku a look he couldn't quite decipher; she was trying to tell him something, or ask him something, with her eyes. Before she could put it into words, however, Riku's eyes were on the abyss before him.

"Mal and Lianna have to be in there!" he cried. He broke into a run, dashing toward the open doors.

"Riku, wait!" Sonia cried, hot on his heels. "I am coming with you!"

"Wait!" Twilight protested. "DON'T! WE DON'T KNOW WHAT'S IN THERE – "

Riku and Sonia failed to heed her warning.

It was darkness upon darkness for a great many strides; Riku couldn't even tell the difference between his surroundings and the ground he walked on. Then, suddenly, he stepped into an utterly new landscape, and the familiarity of it took his breath away.

The Destiny Islands. Twisted. Perverted. He stood on the small islet where he had once faced Sora the night the door had opened, where he used to relax by the paopu tree with Sora and Kairi, where he carved out his sparring grounds. From there, he had a clear view of the damage done. The water was drained out from the sea, leaving a rocky outcropping. The foliage of the island was dead and rotting; the paopu tree had been broken in half, its fruit-bearing top lost. The wooden structures built around the island for the teens' enjoyment were cracked and broken; the bridge that had once connected the islet to the rest of the island was gone entirely, stranding Riku. The sky was a dusky shade of twilight, the sun nowhere to be seen as the horizon faded to purple.

He remembered that Sonia had run into the void with him, and was acutely aware of her absence. He panicked, twirling on the spot to locate her. "Sonia?" he called out. "SONIA!"

"The girl is not here."

The deep, thrumming voice almost made Riku's heart stop. He froze in place; the sound had come from behind him. He knew what he would see when he turned around, and the very thought made him want to keep facing away, out toward the edge of the dry bed that had once been an ocean, the same way he had always stared out to the sea to ignore the problems he had at home.

But ignoring his problems had never solved them. So he turned around.

The man who had addressed him floated there in the air, silver coat billowing around his legs. A long mane of silver-white hair cascaded from his head, contrasting with his tan-brown skin. His arms, enclosed in white gloves, were folded in a gesture of superiority. Behind him loomed an enormous black Heartless with meaty fists, a pair of trailing antennae, and bands covering its mouth.

"Look at what you've done," Ansem, Seeker of Darkness, taunted Riku.

Sonia had found herself in an altogether different locale. All of a sudden, her shoes went from thudding on unknown ground to clicking on tile as she barreled down a hallway she knew all too well. A wooden door stood in her way, and out of habit, she pried it aside, entering the homeroom of class 77 at Hope's Peak Academy.

There was her desk, untouched and pristine. There was the desk where Gundham had always sat, and Kazuichi's over there. Most of the windows were bolted over with steel panels. One slender pane was left untouched, and Sonia approached it to look out at the landscape she knew would await her.

The sky was black with ash; she could see the flickers of a fire on the edge of the horizon. Dead bodies decorated the streets, their blood running rivulets into the sewers. Any visible buildings were broken and bombed.

"Hear ye, hear ye!" a posh voice thick with a false British accent boomed dramatically from behind Sonia. "Princess Sonia Nevermind has entered the chamber of strategy to reunite with her true allegiance!"

Sonia was startled into spinning around immediately, and when she beheld the sight that awaited her, she slammed her body back against the window, for it was as far as she could go to escape. A young woman of eighteen years old stood across from her, bearing a school uniform that had been heavily modified to reflect the wearer's flamboyant taste – tie loosened, undershirt unbuttoned several buttons down, a bright red bow fastened to the lapel. Her thick blonde hair, which almost looked pink-tinted under the fluorescent academy light, was pinned back into pigtails with two bear-shaped barrettes, one black, one white.

Dropping the accent, Junko Enoshima said, "And it's about damn time."

"What do you mean, what I've DONE?" Riku yelled at Ansem. "WHERE'S SONIA? WHERE'S LUNA?"

"Dissolved to the Darkness," Ansem replied calmly. "You forfeited them in your perpetual search for meaning and power. It was you who opened the door once more and allowed this world to fall to Darkness yet again. This was hardly a surprise. It is written into your nature. You were always destined to sacrifice your home and everyone you loved to achieve your goal. You have learned nothing from your past mistakes. You and I are not so different, nor were we ever. You, a young boy who was willing to pay the ultimate price to make his escape. I, a man sprung from such a similar boy, willing to cast aside my physical form to bring forth the Darkness."

"No," Riku said as he took a step back. "It can't be. I wouldn't do this! I wouldn't hurt Sora!"

"But you did so once long ago," Ansem reminded him, "when you first started to realize how much you truly cared for him. Love did not lead you to loyalty. It transformed into jealousy and rage, and those emotions spurred you to destroy all around you that had inspired them. The boy whose love and friendship you coveted, you condemned. The girl who showed you such kindness, you gave the fate deserving of one who stole his affections away. Your family, who did not understand – finally gone where you did not have to put on appearances for them. The other children, meaningless to you even after all of the games you played and stories you shared, for how could they compare to you? They always fell so easily to you in battle. They were worthless."

"That's not how it was!" Riku cried.

"Look within your heart," Ansem told him. "You will find my words to be true. I became your greatest Darkness. I know your heart better than you do. You went astray before, and you will go astray again."

Riku kept backtracking until his heel teetered off the edge of the islet; if he plunged backward, he would hit the cold sand and stone below and break his neck for sure. Ansem's words cut him to the quick, and he tried to convince himself it wasn't true. After all, didn't this make too much sense? He had gone to the moon to find a connection to dreams, and this was his worst nightmare. Yet every word Ansem had spoken resonated with him, right down to the fact that Ansem embodied his very Darkness –

It was then that Riku made the connection. He looked up, bewildered, into Ansem's almost glowing eyes.

And then, slowly, he smiled.

"Junko," Sonia gasped.

Junko threw horns with both hands, her tongue lolling. "IN THE FUCKIN' FLESH!" she roared hoarsely. "You're, like, totally throwin' off my vibe, man! You gotta get back in line!"

"I do not understand," Sonia said breathlessly, though deep down, she truly did understand.

Junko straightened up, removing a pair of false glasses from a side pocket and sliding them onto her face. "It is simple," she said in a matter-of-fact tone. "I have come to recruit you back to the side of despair so that we may resume the work you left off. You were always the most natural candidate of your class, so I sought you out specifically."

She swept off the spectacles, her head drooping and her tone becoming morose. "After all, it isn't as though you can save Gundham anyway. There's no hope anymore. The villains are going to win, and Gundham is just…gone. So are all of your other friends who died in Neo World. It's really sad. And sad is all it's ever going to be, no matter what you do."

"But there IS hope!" Sonia argued. "My new friends have shown me that!"

"Yeah, well, what the fuck do THEY know?" Junko roared, the fire back in her eyes. "They're just a bunch of fuckin' losers who dunno yet that everything they try is just gonna blow the fuck up! Those girls you're lookin' for are straight-up gone, man! Discord's totally gone psycho, and pretty soon, those six are gonna turn on each other, too, 'cause that's what friends do!"

"No." Sonia shook her head over and over; Junko was voicing fears she hadn't wanted to bring to life with her voice. "You are wrong, Junko. You are WRONG."

"Look." Junko's tone was now even, normal. "Sonia. I'm gonna be honest with you here. Even if there is hope, it's just not what you're built for. You're a DARK kind of girl. Just like me. The reason you love reading about Sparkling Justice and Genocide Jack is because you want to BECOME them. 'Princess' never fit you. You were BORN to be a serial killer. Or some kind of villain, anyway. Take your pick. I can help you with all of it. Manipulation, torture, terrorism…this is just the kind of stuff you were wired for from day one. Why else would your eyes light up so much watching those creepy movies? Your parents sure were right about you being a freak. And let's not even get into what Kazuichi would REALLY think about you if he could look past your admittedly really sexy boobs and see the black heart behind them. Oh, and Gundham? I'm so over him. He SACRIFICED himself for the rest of you, and that's just not how I roll, y'know? But a guy like that just doesn't deserve you." On a dime, Junko transitioned into false bawling at the top of her lungs, crying waterfalls on command. "It's just so sa-a-a-aaaaad! You love him, and he'll never love you because you're just so…you're just so worthless and blackhearted and evil! It's just who you are, and that's never going to change! Never! Never, never, never, never, NEVER!"

Junko made a show of loudly blowing her nose into her uniform's tie before sniffling, "B-but…if you join back up with me…you won't have to worry anymore. You can just be bad, and then it won't matter if you wanna be anything else, or what anyone thinks…okay? It's gonna be okay, Sonia! Just admit it! Admit that all you have left is despair!"

"Who…I am," Sonia repeated before stepping forth from the window, straightening up.

"OOOOH!" Junko bounced up and down, her voice high-pitched as though she'd inhaled helium. "Are you gonna join me? Are you? Are you are you are you? We're gonna do so much GREAT stuff together, Sonia! And we can be bestest friendsies forever and ever!"

Sonia focused her gaze directly on Junko's gray eyes, then said, definitively, "No."

"You're wrong," Riku told Ansem. "I won't go astray again. And you actually just proved it."

"You DARE defy me?" Ansem growled, floating closer to Riku. The Guardian Heartless on his back threw a punch directly at Riku's face, but the fist pulled up short, unable to reach Riku.

That was when Riku knew he was in control of the nightmare after all. "It's like you said," he explained. "You're my Darkness. I've always pictured it as you. That's why I looked like you when I gave myself up to the Darkness to beat Roxas. I'm not talking to Ansem right now. I'm talking to me. I'm talking to the Darkness in my own heart."

"Very perceptive," Ansem said smoothly. "And yet I do not see how it changes your fate. Even if I cannot harm you, you will destroy yourself."

"It's just that I know this is a nightmare," Riku told him. "It makes too much sense. That means you must be my worst fear. And if the worst thing I have to fear is myself…that's really not so scary after all. It means I can take on the worlds and anything in them more easily than I can face myself…and if I want to face myself, all I have to do is look inside. I've beaten my own Darkness before. I can do it again."

"There is no dawn for you!" Ansem insisted. "Only the road to twilight and nightfall; an eternal Darkness!"

"And what then?" Riku countered. "More nightmares? How many times do I have to tell you?"

His Keyblade leapt into hand.

"I'm what nightmares fear!"

He leapt, surging toward Ansem, blade outward.

"I will NOT join you!" Sonia asserted. "You are wrong about me?"

"Like, how?" Junko asked, twirling a lock of hair on a finger as she leaned on a hip. "You're, like, totally the perfect candidate for serial killing. I bet it's, like, genetic or some shit." She slipped a piece of gum into her mouth, chewed thrice, blew an enormous pink bubble and popped it. "I'm really the only person who, like, GETS you."

"You keep telling me that evil and despair are what I am!" Sonia accused, pointing directly at Junko. "You act as if it is something I will do because of instinct or nature!"

"Um, like, yeah?" Junko replied as she smacked the gum louder.

"But it is NOT my nature!" Sonia cried. "Nor is it something that comes of my taste in films or study! Despair may fill me when I wish otherwise, but the evil you wish me to commit is MY CHOICE! You once convinced me to choose evil for many reasons, including what you have told me here! However, it was I who erred by making such a choice!" She stomped forward. "From this moment on, I choose never to commit such atrocities again! No matter what, acting in the name of hope and love is MY CHOICE!"

Junko spat out the gum, drooping again. "Does this mean our friendship is…over?" she said mournfully.

"You are no friend of mine!" Sonia declared. "In fact…" She stormed right up to Junko, only an inch away. "YOU MAY FUCK OFF!"

Junko was now visibly taken aback. "WHAT the fuck did you just say to me?" she replied as she flinched.

"I said you may fuck off," Sonia repeated. "But what I meant was that BY ROYAL DECREE, I, PRINCESS SONIA NEVERMIND OF THE NOVOSELIC KINGDOM, ORDER YOU TO FUCK OFF!"

"YOU'RE giving ME orders?" Junko growled ferally.

Sonia had said her piece, and concluded her argument by storming toward the doorway that led out of the classroom.

"DON'T WALK OUT ON ME!" Junko roared after her. "YOU'RE FUCKING NOTHING OUT THERE! I MADE YOU! YOU'RE JUST GONNA END UP IN DESPAIR ANYWAY, BECAUSE NOTHING OUT THERE IS GONNA – "

Sonia slammed the door hard behind her as she left.

Back outside the door, Twilight, Luna, Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash watched Riku and Sonia in the void, standing back-to-back, apparently paralyzed by whatever they were looking at in the dark, terror wrought upon their faces.

"What's wrong with them?" Fluttershy gasped.

"It's more like King Sombra's door than I thought!" Twilight cried. "That door had an enchantment on it to show anypony who tried to enter it their worst fear. I think they might be looking at what they're afraid of!"

"Wouldn't be surprised if Sombra knew 'bout this door somehow an' built his own around it!" Applejack surmised.

"This is a place of dreams and nightmares alike," Luna affirmed. "It is not surprising to hear that nightmares await those who enter this door."

"We gotta go in after 'em!" Rainbow Dash cried, moving as if to speed away.

She was stopped by a magical tug on her tail. "Do NOT," Rarity warned. "You'll only end up in the mess yourself! We've got to find a way to rescue them without becoming trapped ourselves! I don't WANT to face my worst nightmares! You think I can handle being faced down with all of Ponyville turning on me and insulting me and my work, even if it is only a dream? And that's only what I THINK my worst fear is! WHAT IF IT'S EVEN WORSE?"

"Twilight," Luna said hurriedly. "Can you repeat the Darkness you conjured earlier?"

"Yes," Twilight replied. "At least…I think. I hope."

"You must try your very best," Luna told her. "If you and I combine forces, we can overload the keystone crystal and deactivate the enchantment on the door. On my mark."

"Count me in," Twilight said with a nod.

"One," Luna said. "Two…three!"

Twilight's horn crackled and sputtered again before pouring out another stream of Darkness. Similarly, a second current flowed from Luna's horn, graceful and unbroken. The keystone absorbed both of these powers, filling up with blackness from the bottom up.

Then it cracked, just a surface blemish.

Inside the void, Riku surged forward, Keyblade drawn, as if fighting a foe. Sonia made an about-face and made a gesture as though she were slamming a door. Both stopped and flinched upon realizing that they weren't where they thought they were.

"Sonia?" Riku said in confusion.

"Riku!" Sonia replied.

"YOU'RE OKAY!" Rainbow Dash zoomed on in, taking this as her cue that the spell was broken. Luna and Twilight let their guard down as well, ceasing their outpouring of Darkness.

"Yeah," Riku confirmed to her. "We are."

"I shoulda known," Rainbow Dash said with confidence she obviously hadn't had before. "You two do kick a lot of flank. I bet there's NOTHIN' that could scare you."

"I would not say nothing," Sonia told her, "but there are things that it turns out need not be feared as much as I had believed."

"Some fears, we always live with," Riku added, "but we can find ways to control them."

The others had all entered by that point, brilliant colors contrasting against the pure darkness. "I am beginning to remember now," Luna said. "It was here, behind these doors, that I spent most of my exile. I absorbed nightmare after nightmare, facing my fears and turning them into my weapons to use against all of Equestria."

"Wow, Celestia sure made an oopsie sending you here to get rid of your nightmare powers!" Pinkie Pie commented.

"No," Luna muttered. "She knew that here, I would be safely suspended in dreams of all sorts. She couldn't have known that I would be exposed to such nightmares…because…they were given to me. Something interfered."

"Something?" Twilight asked. "Or somePONY?"

A light yet sharp masculine laugh filled the void. All nine present turned instantly to view its source.

"Is it all coming back to you now?" the voice asked mockingly. "I thought I'd heard the clippity-clop of a unicorn."

"WHO ARE YOU?" Riku called out.

Three pairs of eyes blazed brightly against the blackness: one humanoid, one catlike, and one in-between.

"I could have told you your fear trap would prove useless," a deeper masculine voice chided. "These are warriors. They respond to weaponry, not mind games."

The third voice was instantly recognizable to Riku: "Heroes. They always have to go and ruin the fun with things like bravery and self-confidence."

"MIRAGE!" Riku barked.

A low chuckle. "The game's up, boys," Mirage declared. "Let's show our friends what they're dealing with."

Pits of fire erupted around the void, and no longer was it a void but a cavern with walls of deep gray stone, stalactites dangling sharply from the ceiling. The three figures who had observed stood in full view, the wall behind them still blanketed in shadow that the flames' flickers could not reach.

"WHO ARE THOSE GUYS?" Rainbow Dash cried.

"Ain't friends; I know that much," Applejack growled.

Fluttershy squeaked and took a step back; Rarity immediately moved to step in front of her, shielding her.

"Jaune told me you rounded up followers," Riku spat at Mirage. He nodded toward the Galra general at her side. "Sendak?"

Sendak's mouth split into a smug grin. "Good," he stated. "Already, they know and revere my name."

"Who's your third friend?" Riku asked cockily. "Is he here because you bribed him, because you threatened him, or because he wants to stab you in the back?"

"The third, if anything," Luna said as she stepped forth. "But I have reason to believe their partnership is genuine. After all, Mirage is evil incarnate. I remember him now. That is Pitch Black, the Boogeyman and master of nightmares. And what does evil like better than fear?"

"I'm offended you forgot all about our friendship," Pitch told Luna mockingly. "Though then again, that is exactly as I planned it. Once the nightmares I equipped you with were purged from you, so went your memories of me. Pity. I was more of a sibling to you than Celestia ever was. I taught you how to rise to your true potential. I gave you all the nightmares you wanted."

"So it is YOU who transformed her into Nightmare Moon!" Sonia accused with the point of a finger.

Pitch chuckled. "You of all people should know better, Sonia. She was already Nightmare Moon when she came to me. I offered her the chance to become more powerful…and she CHOSE to accept."

"Mistakes made out of youth and pride," Luna countered.

"What has happened to your voice?" Pitch asked her. "No Royal Canterlot dialect? Goodness, they've brought you down more than a peg."

"This doesn't even make any sense!" Twilight broke in. "Why are you even here? What did you want with Luna?"

"The moon is a curious thing," Pitch stated. "A powerful force that governs the celestial flow. All moons are connected, but each unique. Many undergoing an upset, at the moment, given the recent loss of the Moon King. Yet the moon endures always. She collaborates with the ocean, who has had much to say recently about your heroic exploits. How frustrating, that the very primal force of the sea is now biased toward your cause. It was only fitting that I repay you somewhat for that claim. This was the very least I could do."

The flames roared higher, into columns that stretched to the ceiling. Now the wall behind Pitch, Mirage, and Sendak was fully illuminated, and all could see the two girls held there by chains, heads lolling in unconsciousness.

"MAL!" Riku cried, rushing forth. "LIANNA!"

A strong force slammed into him and pushed him back, toppling him.

"Patience," Pitch said calmly. "After all, they still are only dreams. This moon is unique from all others in a particularly enticing way. It is imbued with the quality to bring dreams to life. It is here that I set up shop to work on a particular creation of mine, fashioning it after the inhabitants below. What Mozenrath does with Black Sand magic is only child's play compared to what a true master of fear can wreak. I perfected my nightmares here, in the limbo where I can be seen and heard by all, regardless of if they believe in me – after all, Riku, anywhere else, you'd look straight through me even if Luna told you I was standing right here. You never did believe in such childish things as the Boogeyman. I tried time and time again to reach out to you. After all, you seemed the perfect candidate. But you were bound and determined not to believe in any of us – not Boogeyman nor Sandman nor Easter Bunny nor Tooth Fairy nor Santa Claus nor Jack Frost."

"Actually," Riku remarked as he got to his feet, "I did believe in the Boogeyman. I just thought he was made of canvas and liked to gamble."

"You're thinking of a lesser boogeyman," Pitch explained to him. "Hardly time to get into the hierarchy. The point is, this world's moon was the perfect place for me to hone my nightmares, and once I was brought to Mirage's side, I gladly let her and Sendak occupy the space. One might even call this…the nightmare moon."

Luna bared her teeth at the word choice.

"You've blabbered on enough, Pitch," Mirage sighed. "I want to see these fools COWER."

"I want them reduced to ash," Sendak added.

"How about we compromise?" Mirage suggested. "First we make them cower, THEN we reduce them to ash."

"And what of my part?" Pitch asked.

"You already got to fill them with fear," Mirage reminded him. "It's OUR turn now."

The fire cats flickered into appearance one by one, approaching the group of heroes as streaks of brilliant red.

"They feed on fear!" Riku barked as the others shrank back. "If you're not afraid, they shrink and disappear!"

Pinkie Pie perked up. "You mean it? That's AWESOME! We know what to do about THAT! Right, girls?"

"I'm not sure I can," Fluttershy whimpered.

"You've done it before," Applejack reminded her. "You can do it again."

"Oh, COME ON!" Rainbow Dash groaned. "Do we HAVE to? SERIOUSLY? Can't we just solve this with a good fight?"

"We have to use the way we know will work," Twilight asserted.

"I suppose," Rarity sighed, "undignified as it is."

"What are you talking about?" Luna asked. "You have a way to defeat these creatures?"

"Allow me!" Pinkie Pie chirped as she bounded out in front of Riku, taking center stage before the frontline of advancing cats.

A bright spotlight shone down on her from above, and she began to trill: "When I was a little filly, and the sun was going down! The darkness and the shadows, they would always make me frown!"

"What is she DOING?" Riku couldn't help but blurt.

"Just cut to the chorus!" Rainbow Dash cried. "We're running out of time!"

"You can't RUSH IT!" Pinkie insisted. She took a deep breath before letting out at a blinding speed: "I'dhideundermypillowfromwhatIthoughtIsawbutGrannyPiesaidthatwasn'tthewaytodealwithfearsataaaaaaaallllllshesaidPinkieyougottastanduptalllearntofaceyourfearsyou'llseethatheycan'thurtyoujustlaughtomakethemdisappear!"

Then, settling back into a reasonable tempo, she sang out strongly, "SOOOOOOOOO…giggle at the ghostly!"

Twilight leapt up next to her to join her in singing: "Guffaw at the grossly!"

Applejack slid in to contribute, "Crack up with the creepy!"

Rainbow Dash touched down beside them; "Whoop it up with the weepy!"

Rarity strode up. "Chortle at the kooky!"

Fluttershy finally joined; "Snortle at the spooky!"

Already the cats were backing down, their faces contorting into masks of displeasure as they reduced in size.

Riku gave Sonia and Luna a look of utter disbelief that the other two returned.

The six bounced around in impromptu choreography, repeating the chorus to the song: "Giggle at the ghostly! Guffaw at the grossly! Crack up with the creepy! Whoop it up with the weepy! Chortle at the kooky! Snortle at the spooky!"

One by one, the fire cats evaporated into wisps of smoke.

"NO!" Mirage cried in dismay.

"Perhaps you should leave this matter to one who INSTILLS fear rather than RELYING on it," Pitch suggested in a heavily sarcastic tone.

"Anything to STOP THEIR SINGING!" Sendak raged.

Pitch clapped his hands politely, and suddenly, where the fire cats had stood, there was now a row of sinister-looking horses composed entirely of enchanted black sand, pawing the ground and snorting menacingly. They advanced despite the song, causing all six singers to cut off their chorus.

"My Nightmares will reduce you to mewling shells of your former selves," Pitch said smugly. "And then, when you can no longer fight back, Mirage and Sendak may finally get their way and eliminate you."

"What do we do NOW?" Rainbow Dash cried in horror.

"I DON'T KNOW!" Twilight yelled.

"BOW DOWN!" Sonia cried, stepping forth and staring Pitch in the eye. "For you have given us the key to your very undoing!"

"And what is that, princess?" Pitch asked.

"Your nightmares take shape in this realm!" Sonia reminded him. "Therefore, so must our dreams!"

"Huh?" Pinkie Pie thought about it for a moment. "So it's just like the dreams Luna makes, where we can do anything?"

"Anything!" Sonia confirmed. "You brought down that spotlight for your song! That was when I realized it!"

"So if I wanted my party cannon," Pinkie Pie surmised, "I'd get – "

A small wheeled cannon suddenly appeared before her.

"MY PARTY CANNON!" Pinkie cried, placing her hooves on it.

A sudden burst of confetti erupted from it, obliterating the Nightmare in front of her.

"All right, everypony," Twilight stated with a smirk. "Things just got interesting."

Pitch, Mirage, and Sendak exchanged glances. Pitch responded by calling as many nightmares as he could, the black equines filling all available space in the cavern.

Riku knew what he had to do. He positioned himself at the back of the crowd, calling up a list in his mind. It would work most effectively if he could remember and call upon every single one.

"This looks like a job for Daring Do!" Rainbow Dash cried before suddenly becoming outfitted in the beige clothing and pith helmet of her literary (and real-life) idol. "YOU'RE GOIN' DOWN HARDER THAN AHUIZOTL IN BOOK ONE!" She launched into a flurry of battle, limbs swinging and punching holes through the Nightmares' sandy bodies. "And that was the most humiliating defeat in the entire series! YET TO BE TOPPED!"

Fluttershy, surprisingly, was the next to join the fray, her wings transitioning from feathered to batlike as her coat dulled slightly and fangs sprouted from her mouth. The Flutterbat took her place fighting alongside Rainbow Dash, her speed and agility increased. Nightmares exploded into sandy clouds.

"You wanna hero?" Applejack broke in. "How 'bout the Mysterious Mare-Do-Well for size?" She was suddenly clothed in an outfit of deep purples and blues, topped with a wide-brimmed violet hat, that covered every inch of her. She leapt into the chaos as well, now able to fight far more effectively in the hero's guise.

"Hmm…" Rarity thought it over. "Perhaps a little Inspiration Manifestation is just what this situation needs."

At her beck and call, a golden, bejeweled chariot plowed onto the battlefield, taking out several Nightmares in the process. As the chariot continued to barrel around, elaborate mansion-shaped birdhouses dropped from above, crushing Nightmares. Crystal stalagmites sprouted from the ground, and golden bridles harnessed the Nightmares to them, making them easier targets for Rarity's elaborate creations.

"I know!" Pinkie Pie cried. "I solemnly swear not to be scared at the prospect of being doubly mared!"

Invoking the last lines of the incantation associated with the mirror pool had the effect of conjuring an exact double of Pinkie Pie, who regarded her with a bright smile. "You want me to help you fight the Nightmares?" she asked.

"Hmm…" Pinkie thought it over. "Why just us? Why not make it a PARTY?"

Suddenly there was an army of Pinkie Pies thirty strong.

"NOW should we fight the Nightmares?" they asked as one.

"Ohhh, we can do better than that!" the original Pinkie chided.

Only when every Pinkie on the field was outfitted with her own personal party cannon did Pinkie declare, "NOW we can go fight Nightmares!"

The tide turned drastically, with Nightmares falling to the blasts of confetti from the multitude of festive firearms.

Twilight turned to ask Riku something, but, seeing that he was deep in concentration, knew better than to bother him. "I hope you don't mind that I borrowed this concept from you," she muttered.

She thought of the key she had earned to unlock the box containing the Rainbow Powers, materializing the golden object with its star-shaped handle and pointed teeth. She then enlarged it to the size of a Keyblade. Thinking of the other five keys her friends had produced, Twilight surrounded herself with six Keyblades – the star, a butterfly, a set of balloons, an apple, a cloud emitting a lightning bolt, a jagged cluster of crystals, all cast in gold. They whirled around Twilight as she barreled toward the cloud of Nightmares, cutting through them like knives through butter and spilling their sand across the floor.

Luna could not think of a dream to manifest off the cuff, and so contented herself with firing blasts of magic at the Nightmares one by one, eliminating them slowly but surely off the field.

Sendak strode forward onto the field, growing impatient with the battle taking place. He wanted blood, and he wanted it immediately. He raised his metal arm, charging it up to fire at the nearest target: Twilight Sparkle.

Twilight noticed it a moment too late; the great metal fist was already sailing toward her.

And Sonia Nevermind was leaping over her, chainsaw roaring in her hands. As Sonia landed, she slashed her unorthodox weapon directly at Sendak's disembodied cybernetic fist. The metal sparked as the two objects clashed; then Sonia's blade severed Sendak's metal arm completely in half, its pieces clattering uselessly to the ground.

Twilight rejoiced – until she realized that despite the myriad of efforts to stem the flow of Nightmares, they still kept manifesting. "We're being outnumbered!" she cried.

Riku had finally finished recalling them all: their shapes, their colors, their names. He looked up at the fight unfolding before him, taking in Twilight's words.

"Not for long!" he yelled.

Then, in his mind, he called out.

Every Dream Eater he had ever forged came bounding out onto the field in a neon rainbow, Highwind leading the charge.

A Hebby Repp and a Tama Sheep tucked and rolled simultaneously, slamming into Pitch Black and toppling him. Mirage seized the horns of a Cera Terror, holding back the saurian spirit only for her to realize it was only the distraction for a Kooma Panda to sneak up behind her and whack her on the back of the head. Sendak, upon being battered simultaneously with the club of a Sir Kyroo and the frying pan of a Chef Kyroo, roared, "TWO FROGS?"

The rest set to work on beating down the Nightmares. Sandy horses were blown to grains of black by the rolling of a Drill Sye, the zaps of an Electricorn, the bouncing of a Meow Wow, the dance of a Necho Cat. Now the Nightmares were disappearing more quickly than Pitch could summon them, and Pitch was too busy fending off the Dream Eaters to be bothered anyhow.

Once Mirage, Pitch, and Sendak were all brought to their knees from the battering, the Dream Eaters backed off, knowing Riku didn't want to hurt them beyond what could be healed. Luna took this opportunity to approach them, slowly and deliberately, as her companions finally ceased their toil behind her.

As Luna strode toward the trio, she grew taller in stature, her mane dissolving to a glittering blue mist. It was the visage of Nightmare Moon that looked down upon all of them and told them quite plainly, "LEAVE THIS PLACE."

Mirage turned up toward Luna and gave her a threatening hiss, but followed this up by slashing a portal into the air and crawling into it, Pitch and Sendak hot on her trail. The wound in reality stitched itself up immediately.

Luna shrank back down to her usual height and appearance, shaking off a shudder from taking Nightmare Moon's face once more – it had seemed like a good idea at the time, but she wasn't eager to keep that look around.

The Pinkie Pie doubles disappeared, each bursting into an explosion of glitter. Applejack and Rainbow Dash's costumes dissolved, and Fluttershy returned herself to a non-bat state. Rarity's conjurations shimmered away. Sonia's chainsaw was dropped and disintegrated.

Riku smiled as he approached Twilight, admiring the six Keyblades that floated around her. "That's more than even I can wield," he teased.

"I'm starting to see why everypony in your world wants one," Twilight admitted. "Even if I don't know enough to design the particulars beyond the general shape and function. But I figured if it were a dream, I could have whatever I wanted. Once we're out of here, I'll leave the Keybearing to the actual Master."

With that, all six Keyblades shimmered out of existence.

"But your friends really pulled through and saved the day," Twilight continued.

"I missed them," Riku said as he looked out over the floor that once was a battlefield. Sonia was stroking the mane of a Yoggy Ram and grinning, and Fluttershy was laughing as several Dream Eaters nuzzled her from all sides, sensing her innate connection to all animal companions.

Riku's gaze flicked upward to where Mal and Lianna were bound. Now he rushed toward them, not certain exactly how to get them down.

The Dream Eaters were already on it, the Cera Terror and Kooma Panda forming the foundation of a pyramid of spirit stacked upon spirit until Highwind had undone Mal's bindings and a Peepsta Hoo had undone Lianna's. The two were escorted down to the ground by a Pegaslick, a Ghostabocky, a Tatsu Steed, and a Tatsu Blaze, borne on the backs of the flying creatures.

As they were lowered to the ground, they began to wake. "Wh…what…?" Mal began.

"Mal?" Lianna asked as both girls got to their feet. "Is it truly you?"

Riku had reached them then, skidding to a halt before them. They both turned to look at him.

And without a further word, all three engaged in a tight embrace.

"I finally found you," Riku sighed.

"Always knew you could," Mal replied.

"And we are very glad you did," Lianna added.

As they backed off, Mal remarked, "Now things are starting to feel like they make a lot more sense. In terms of time and space, anyway. Where even are we?"

"Where dreams go, of course," Lianna said haughtily. "Though admittedly, I'm not sure exactly what form that takes."

Luna stepped forth to inform them, "It is a rather complex tale, and one we can talk over in more detail once we leave this place. But first, we must transform you from dreams into real, living beings."

"Are you sure it'll work this time?" Pinkie Pie asked.

Twilight looked worriedly to the ground. "This is our last shot," she admitted. "If the Rainbow Powers don't work here…they won't work anywhere."

"But we gotta try," Applejack asserted. "'S better than just leavin' 'em here."

"I'd rather be left here than erased from existence, mind you," Lianna interjected.

"Which is why they're not gonna erase us from existence!" Mal said quickly.

Twilight gave a sigh. "Okay, girls. One more try."

The Dream Eaters backed off, and Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Applejack surrounded Twilight. Together, they summoned up the Rainbow Power, their manes taking on the extra colors that signified the presence of the magic. The rainbow burst forth from them, curling around Mal and Lianna like a ribbon. It absorbed into them both, leaving them glowing with a faint multicolored aura.

"Now what?" Mal asked.

A squeak got the attention of all. Highwind had fluttered toward the doors that led back out to the moon's surface. He attempted to cross through, but was immediately dissolved into nothingness upon the attempt.

"That's it," Riku realized. "If it worked, you'll be able to leave through the door."

He, Mal, and Lianna approached the door together, hesitating before the frame.

Sonia held her breath. Here was where she would learn if hope truly triumphed over despair, or if there was no point in thinking the best at all.

"If we do not make it across – " Lianna began.

"We're gonna make it across," Mal told her, "so shut up."

"Ready?" Riku urged. "Let's go."

As one, they put their left feet forward, stepping over the line onto the moon's stone.

All three emerged as complete beings on the other side, shone upon by the starlight.

Sonia exhaled, her heart lightening.

Luna was next to exit. "Come," she urged. "We have much to discuss back at Equestria."

She conjured the Corridor that would lead them back to Canterlot, striding through.

"Race you!" Mal cried before taking off after her.

"Hey!" Riku laughed. "That's my bit!" He hurried to catch up.

"Must you?" Lianna sighed, though with a smile of adoration as she hastened after.

Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Applejack were eager to follow. Fluttershy insisted upon saying goodbye to the host of Dream Eaters first, telling them, "You're all very wonderful and friendly." Then she finally turned away to find Twilight stalling just outside the door.

"Twilight?" she asked. "Is something wrong?"

Twilight flinched, having been lost in thought. "No," she said. "I was just thinking about some things. You know how I am, always overthinking."

"Okay," Fluttershy said with doubt. "But you know if you need to talk about anything – "

"I know, Fluttershy," Twilight said gently. "Now let's go home."

The doors to the cavern of dreams and nightmares shut as Twilight and Fluttershy entered the Corridor that brought them back down to earth. Inside, all of Riku's Dream Eaters softly faded, knowing they were to lie in wait until the night they next were needed.

...

It was exactly as the rude informant had promised. The hallways leading to the forbidden vault beneath Asgard's castle did, in fact, get darker and narrower. The architect had clearly been aware of what this path was leading up to. The entire wing gave off an air of foreboding, suggesting that Roman, Harley, Xayide, and Aghoul absolutely should not be there.

Which Roman took as an open invitation to walk those halls as much as he pleased.

Harley followed close behind, with the two mages bringing up the rear. All the while, she hadn't yet said a word to Roman, nor he to her. So much for bonding, she thought. She had tried several times to initiate conversation, but the memory of his face as he'd screamed at her to "FUCK OFF" and struck her off Xerxes' back kept surfacing, and she wondered why she had thought she could make reparations with this man at all.

Because he had apologized, she reminded herself, and in such a way that suggested he was more astute about her situation than she'd given him credit for. And so far, he hardly seemed like the same person at all. Here, he was jovial, friendly, a crime boss who looked out for his own. Yet she still hadn't found it in her to make conversation, and she couldn't even imagine what was going through his head about her. Did he still hate her? Did he blame her for Garfield and Peter turning on him?

A pair of clammy hands on her shoulders diverted her attention. "So," Aghoul asked her, his rotten-smelling breath indicating that his mouth was right up next to her ear, "what is a lovely young thing like you doing in a crime syndicate like – "

"NO!" Roman yelled, whirling about, and now Harley could see it again in his eyes: the rage that had taken over him when he'd struck her. However, this time, it was aimed at a completely different target. "Shut up and get OFF HER!" he barked at Aghoul. "I have had enough of your FUCKING BULLSHIT today!"

"What did I do?" Aghoul huffed as he removed his hands from Harley obediently.

"Aghoul…" Xayide bade him calmly. "Do walk with me a moment."

With a roll of his eyes, Aghoul fell back a few paces to fall in step with Xayide once more. She began to whisper to him, and Roman and Harley took that as their cue to leave that pair alone as they continued walking.

Xayide's whisper consisted of "I would not make advances toward a woman under Roman's protection so soon after the incident."

"That's what this is about?" Aghoul hissed back. "Why's he mad at me? I'm not the one who made a pass at his boyfriend!"

"Give him time," Xayide advised. "He will disassociate you from the incident after he has had time to process it all. As of now, the memory is too fresh. Though it may do you well to remember that your advances are not as well-received as you believe."

"What are you talking about? I'm the WHAM ARMY's lovable flirt!"

"From a purely diplomatic standpoint, it may do you well to keep that…belief under wraps in certain circumstances. Mainly among close allies."

"So you're saying the Asgardian women are open game," Aghoul derived.

"…I suppose I am," Xayide sighed. That wasn't the takeaway she'd intended, but if it got Aghoul to back off Harley and the rest of the female WHAM ARMY contingent, even for a little while, she would accept it.

Meanwhile, up front, Roman said tentatively, "What our resident perverted asshole was trying to ask you was how someone like you ends up a hardened criminal anyway."

Harley was surprised by the softness in his tone. He really was trying after all. She stepped a few paces forward to walk in line with him. "Well, ya see," she explained, "I was doin' pretty well for myself as a TV psychologist. I had my own show where I'd help people with their romance problems."

"Romance problems," Roman repeated. "Can't relate. Anyway, go on."

"I got fired over a little misunderstandin'," Harley went on. "It wasn't my fault! That's what ya get for workin' in the TV business. A buncha producers tryin' to change your vision around and make ya fit the mold! Don't ever get inta showbiz, Romy. 'S more trouble than it's worth."

Roman nodded. "Duly noted."

"Anyhow," Harley went on, "that's when Mr. J showed up at my door. Literally. He turned me around an' introduced me to thievin' an' vandalism an' all that stuff. An' at first, it just seemed like a great escape. A way to get away from my problems, y'know? An' I thought maybe…if psychology wasn't gettin' me nowhere…then crime was what I was really s'posed to do. Then I went an' met Peter an' Gar, an' we started doin' heists together, an' it was just a blast! It stopped bein' JUST about the escape then. Takin' what I wanted? Gettin' revenge? It was just so much fun! That was the stuff that really made me smile! It was like a whole new world got opened up for me! I couldn' go back now if I wanted to. You think I wanna be normal again an' follow the rules an' color in the lines? No stinkin' way!" She sighed. "I just wish Mr. J had been…less HIM, y'know? That woulda been the dream. Partners in crime workin' together, robbin' the city blind, bein' in mad love…but he always was a rotten egg. I wasn't too blind ta see it. I was just lookin' the other way on purpose. Then the OTHER Mr. J came along, an'…well…thought I traded up, but it was really so much worse." A longer sigh.

"Sucks," Roman commented. "'Cause lemme tell you, having a partner in crime really IS the dream. I don't know if I'd call it 'love' per se, buuuuuuut it has a lot of really, REALLY good benefits."

"It ain't love?" Harley questioned. "But you and Mr. Snatcher seem so perfect. You're always in tune, an' comin' to each other's rescue like knights in shinin' armor…what about that ain't love?"

"It's just NOT, okay?" Roman grunted. "Where I come from, love brings you down. Love keeps you from reaching your full potential. What matters is power, money, and being feared. And forgetting that makes you an instant punching bag."

"Where ya come from? Like the WHAM ARMY, or your bad boss from before?"

"Before."

"But you ain't worked for that one in a while, right? So why're ya still thinkin' like that?"

Roman sighed. "Because old habits are hard to break, and it gets even harder when you're pretty sure they were right about that one thing, if nothing else."

"So," Harley surmised, "if it came down to the wire, you'd leave Mr. Snatcher behind – "

"Oh, FUCK no!"

"But you just said – "

"Extreme loyalty, routine fucking, and shared cons do not a couple in love make," Roman clarified. "I just haven't been watered down by the emotion. I'm still a badass, got that?"

"Right!" Harley laughed. "What was I thinkin'?"
What she was thinking was that Roman perhaps didn't know how to admit what he truly felt. She'd heard almost this same story multiple times from callers to her show, though they were usually far less vulgar, knowing they would be cut from air time otherwise.

"What you said, though," Roman told her. "About starting out crime to get away from your problems and staying there because it's just plain fun. If that isn't the story of my life."

"What problems were you runnin' away from?" Harley asked. "If ya wanna talk about it, that is."

"As a matter of fact, I don't," Roman said rather coldly. Then, his tone lightening, "Listen. Me and Neo started out in a bad place. At the lowest of lows. We did what we had to do to survive. And somewhere along the line, we realized it was exactly what we wanted to do all along. No more rules, no more restrictions, no more dictating what our identity should be.
Aaaaand then the Bitch Queen came along and fucked it all up."

"Why'd ya join her, if she was gonna hold ya down?" Harley asked.

"Because I couldn't BEAT her," Roman related.

Harley nodded somberly. "Mr. J…he was the same. I loved him…or I thought I did…but all the same, he wanted me to know that if I ever, ever tried leavin' him…I couldn' take him in a fight. And now that the other Mr. J is out for me…I know he ain't gonna give up 'till he finds me an' makes me pay."

"Just send him my way," Roman said without thinking. "This time, I WILL blow the hole in his chest."

"Really?" Harley asked, eyes sparkling. "You'd do that? For me?"

It dawned on Roman what he'd just promised, and he realized he didn't particularly want to take it back. "I mean, why not? It's a win-win. You get your stalker off your back and I get to have some fun."

"Yeah, but last time you took him on in a fair fight – "

"I was having an off day!" Roman protested.

"An' the time before that?" Harley teased.

"A person can have more than one off day!" Roman groaned.

"Silly me," Harley laughed. "Of course that's what happened!" Suddenly she recalled one little detail from Roman's vague story. "So you an' Neo…ya been together from the start?"

"Yeah," Roman confirmed. "All the family I have. All the family I need."

"I think it's sweet the way ya obviously looked after her."

"You think I was the one looking after her?"

That got Roman and Harley to chuckle in unison.

"You ain't so bad, Romy," Harley admitted.

"Same to you, Harls," Roman replied.

Harley clasped her hands together and gasped. "A new nickname?"

"Nicknames change with the times. And it was time for a change."

"Not to interrupt your lovely conversation," Aghoul broke in, "but I think we've found our stairway to Heaven."

An archway revealed a stone spiral staircase beyond: one that originated on that floor and only led below.

"Heaven ain't usually DOWN," Harley commented.

"Well, for US, it is," Aghoul said with a shrug. "It's all a matter of perspective, after all!" This with a hoarse chuckle.

"Boat Lights," Roman ordered. "Can you do some quick recon? Let us know what we're dealin' with down there?"

"Why me?" Xayide asked haughtily.

"Iunno, I figure you can turn invisible or some shit that won't get us noticed," Roman told her.

"As a matter of fact, that is one of the few things I cannot do," Xayide informed him. "The power of invisibility, I had to bestow upon Bastian Balthazar Bux with an enchanted belt that – "

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Roman interrupted. "Cut to the chase. Can you give us a lowdown without getting busted or not?"

"I can approach noiselessly," Xayide told him, "and keep out of sight."

"Then approach noiselessly and keep out of sight! Geez, was that so hard?"
Xayide brushed past Aghoul, Roman, and Harley without a further word.

"So what's your story?" Harley asked Aghoul as they waited.

"Now, THIS is an impressive tale," Aghoul replied. "It all begins on a majestic ship known as the Black Viper…"

Xayide muffled the sound of her footfalls with magic, becoming dead silence incarnate as she moved down the stairway. The descent was lengthy, but she moved slowly, not knowing exactly what she would encounter.

The voices reached her before anything else: " – brought you a little care package."

"What's this? Salted pork? My favorite! And tell me this is the mead from the cellar!"

"Afraid not – that keg was drained to near-empty. Must've been for Lithasblot. It's a lighter beer. But I baked the apple tart myself."

Xayide used the curvature of the wall to her advantage, staying out of sight while conjuring another mirror configuration to offer her a view of the scene. Where the stairs ended, the vault was preceded by a small antechamber. The vault itself was locked behind double doors; they looked to be carved of pure copper, but Xayide suspected a more precious metal than even that. Orichalcum, likely. Two male guards flanked these doors, as with the trophy room above, but these carried heavier arms: thick swords and an array of daggers. A pair of young women chatted with them, laughing; obviously their girlfriends, judging by the way one of them stole a kiss from her corresponding guard.

" – and then they sent the Genie in disguised as her!" Aghoul huffed. "Can you believe it? After all I did for her! Tell me, would YOU reject a man who built you such a lovely tomb?"

Harley grimaced. "Well, if I'm bein' honest, you could maybe use a few…pointers."

"POINTERS?" Aghoul was taken aback. "I'm millennia old! What POINTERS could I need?"

"It's just that gals like Jasmine need somethin' real special to win 'em over," Harley responded. "'Specially if she already had a guy on the line. Hey, how 'bout next time you got a gal, you call me up?"

"I won Mim on my own, thank you very much," Aghoul huffed, "and any others, I will charm with my own natural talent!"

Xayide returned to the upper floor, restoring the sounds of her feet on the tile and drawing attention with her sudden steps. "Whatcha got?" Roman asked expectantly.

"Two guards," Xayide related, "being visited by their paramours. They carry heavy arms, but we should be able to overpower them. The doors behind them will be fortified and locked, but I am confident one of the guards carries the key."

"The old one-two, then," Roman suggested. "We take 'em out and move in."

Harley nodded. "Sounds good ta me!"

"These paramours," Aghoul commented. "Men or women, and how pretty?"

"They're not on the market!" Roman groaned. "They're on the FIRING LINE!"

"Have it your way," Aghoul huffed. "But when I'm in charge of a mission, I'll actually leave room to have some FUN. And you'll have to have fun, like it or not!"

"We gotta go in armed," Roman stated. "Boat Lights, if you would? No, waitwaitwait!" He held up his hands, palms out. "We're going all-out here. How about you put us back to the classic look?"

Xayide smirked. "As you wish."

Roman was granted his bowler hat, white jacket, and black slacks as well as the Melodic Cudgel. Aghoul's lavender thaub was restored. Harley was outfitted in red and black, jester's hat jingling as her face was done up in white makeup and a black mask. Xayide simply removed a few pins and let her hair down.

Aghoul called his scythe to hand, and Roman looked to Harley quizzically. "You got a weapon of choice, or - ?"
"Well, sometimes I like to use a baseball bat when fists just won't do," Harley stated.

Instantly, she was holding a quality baseball bat, heavy in her hands. "That'll work!" she chirped.

"All right, team," Roman said as he cocked his hat. "Let's roll."

The guards and their girlfriends were taken off guard by all four of them barreling down the stairway and hollering, weapons drawn (except for the case of Xayide). On instinct, the guards drew their heavy swords; the young women backed away in fear.

"Get to safety!" one of the guards demanded, and the two women slipped past the WHAM contingent to hurry up the steps.

"AGHOUL!" Roman yelled. "NO WITNESSES!"

Aghoul gave a nod before taking off after them; "WAIT FOR ME, LADIES!"

Roman brought the metal of the Cudgel up to parry a blow from the sword of one of the guards, locking himself in a duel. Harley, watching the action, pressed herself up against the wall, sliding alongside the side of the antechamber to get in position behind the guard. Her plan was to whack him on the back of the head with her bat while he was occupied.

He noticed her. His free hand went swiftly for his belt, and while still keeping Roman at bay, he flicked a dagger in Harley's direction.

It would have buried itself in her breast had Roman not quickly changed course, swiping at the dagger's handle midflight and yelling "NOPE!" before realizing, "Huh. Can't believe I caught that one, actually."

"ROMY!" Harley shrieked.

"Wuh-oh!" Roman danced backward to avoid the swing of the sword that was still bent on cleaving him. "Chill out, buddy!"

Now Harley had her opening; she rushed up behind the guard, swinging hard, her bat connecting with the back of his head –

And splintering in half.

"…Didn't think that'd happen," Harley admitted.

"You don't go down easy, do you?" Roman grunted as the guard turned around to face the now half-armed Harley. "Hey. Hey, I'm TALKING to you."

Harley waved sheepishly at the guard. She ducked aside just before his sword bit into the wall behind her.

Sliding in alongside Roman, she quickly said, "Thanks for gettin' my back."

"Thanks for getting mine," Roman replied.

The Cudgel and the half-bat went up together to parry the next blow.

"Hey, Harls," Roman said quickly, "hold this."

"O…kay?" Harley knew what he was referring to; she took ahold of the Cudgel's handle, continuing the duel for him. The metal held up much better to the sword than the bat would have.

Roman went low, the purloined dagger slicing a neat gash into the guard's stomach. The guard gasped, but growled, "You think such a wound to stop me?"

"Nnnnnno," Roman told him, "which is why I'm taking some preventative measures."

Before the guard was fully aware of what was taking place, Roman had retrieved a bright red crystal, Burn Uncut, from his pocket, stuffing it into the wound he'd just created. He then took his weapon back over from Harley with a "Thank you!" before jumping back, turning the Cudgel around, and firing.

Once the ammo collided with the crystal, the explosion shook the antechamber. Harley gasped as the guard's torso flew clean off his lower half, the floor painted red with blood. The upper half of his body slapped wetly onto the tile as his legs toppled over.

"Hm," Xayide said smugly from the other side of the antechamber. "I was wondering if you'd ever get around to finishing the fight. I've had mine down since we arrived."

Harley now turned to see the guard Xayide had been fighting impaled with at least twelve pikes, and her stomach turned, threatening to empty out.

The matter was made all the worse by Aghoul trotting down the stairs with the decapitated heads of the two women in his hands, swinging by their hair. "As promised, no witnesses!" he bragged.

"Perfect," Roman told him. "Now to figure out who's got the key."

"W-wait," Harley stammered, her legs shaking. "When ya said 'Take 'em out' – "

"Yeah?" Roman replied, baffled.

"Y…ya meant…"

"Take them OUT," Roman clarified. "Put them down. Cash in their chips." He shrugged, not sure what it would take to make her get the point. "Kill them?"

"I thought we was just gonna knock 'em out cold," Harley admitted.

"A risky endeavor," Xayide told her. "We would risk them waking."

"But the gals!" Harley protested. "They didn't do nothin'!"

"Except threaten to put this whole castle on high alert that there were thieves and murderers loose in it!" Aghoul argued. Then, throwing the heads aside, "Also, decapitation is good entertainment no matter who it's done to."

"Not that I'm…y'know, complainin'…" Harley went on nervously, "but I just wanna know…how often does this happen? Killin' everyone, I mean. Outta curiosity."

Roman was already squatting in the pool of blood, rifling through the pockets of the corpse he'd blown in half. "Harls, Harls, Harls," he responded. "You can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs." He paused. "Actually, put a pin in that. There is a very specific person I need to use that one on. Don't let me forget."

"Mmkay," Harley replied, having been handed a lot to reconsider. "Let's just get in there an' take that cube thing."

"Found it!" Roman straightened up, clutching a keyring with only one ornate key on it, forged of the same metal as the doors. "All right. We are almost home free."

That was when the sound of several more footsteps came barreling down the stairway. Roman, Xayide, and Aghoul braced up for another fight. Harley flinched, not sure if she had it in her to watch another slaughter.

However, all were thrown off their guard when Snatcher, Neo, Garfield, Peter, and Vexen scurried into the antechamber, the former of them crying out, "Torchwick! STOP!"