Taking Back the Crown

by JCMorrigan

Mozenrath. Archibald Snatcher. Roman Torchwick. Mad Madam Mim. Yzma. The Huntsman. Wuya. Ayam Aghoul. Their mission: take over the multiverse, or look fabulous trying. Rated M for swearing, steamy implications and VERY bloody battles. Contains slash and het shipping.

97. High Score

It was Todd Tolansky's major stipulation of his agreement with Kairi that they did not talk en route to the arcade, and this was just fine by Kairi.

However, she did not find herself surprised one bit when within three blocks of the fountain court, he had begun telling her incredibly embellished stories of his "heroics" on his homeworld.

By the time they reached their destination, Todd was wrapping up a particularly thrilling story – or so he liked to think, anyhow. "I carried that guy bride-style right up onto the road right when the whole subway train exploded behind us," he explained. "Big boom, bright lights an' everythin'. Or so I'm told, since, y'know, cool guys don' look at explosions. The others, they starin' at me like 'Izzat Toad? For serious? Man, he is the best out of all of us, no kiddin'!'. I can FEEL how jealous Pietro is right then. He stinks a jealousy like…well, like I stink regular. Anyways, I put the guy down, an' he's all, 'Oh, you saved my life! How can I ever repay you?'. An' I'm like, 'No, no, ain't nothin', just doin' my duty as your friendly neighborhood Toad!'. But he's all 'Please, I insist! Take my wallet an' everythin' in it! Least I could do for you savin' my life so I can go back home to my wife an' ten kids!'. So I'm just, well, okay, if you say so, an' I pocket it, 'cause how can I turn that down? Whole city looked at me different after that."

Kairi knew that was absolutely not how it had gone. All the same, she liked listening. It was a good diversion from her prior turmoil, and lying braggart or not, Todd was a fount of positive energy. She simply gave him a polite nod.

"Anyways, we're here," Todd stated, gesturing up to a sign outside an otherwise unassuming-looking building labeled as "Litwak's." "Soon as we get in that door, you're on your own, princess."

"Thank you," Kairi told him sweetly.

"Ugh." Todd rolled his eyes. "Anyone asks, I did this outta the goodness in my heart, but it is NOT like I wanted to play tour guide to ya."

"Well, I can remember the way now," Kairi assured him. "We don't ever have to talk to each other again if we don't want to." She beamed.

"Good," Todd snorted.

They entered to find a room simply blazing with joyous energy. The building interior itself was darkened enough that the lights coming from all of the screens and buttons in the arcade shone in a rainbow. Kairi was fascinated, looking around at all the machines she had never experienced before. Some of the local teenagers were playing a racing game that, from the looks of it, was dessert-themed, with candy-colored cars running on tracks that looked like baked goods. Other twentysomethings were gathered around a friend who was racking up a high score on a machine where the screen depicted a pixelated man with a golden hammer repairing a building faster than a muscle-bound villain could wreck it. Many a machine was free, and Kairi wasn't sure what she wanted to try first.

"There ya go," Todd told her. "Home free. Now you run along while I see if there's anyone to challenge to DDR. Or, y'know, not-DDR. Whatever they call it here."

He hopped away, and Kairi couldn't help but follow his trajectory visually, watching him pull up beside a machine emblazoned with the words "Step in Time Syncopation." It was obviously set up for two players, its single screen wide enough to broadcast to two flooring areas with arrow-shaped tiles built in. Upon realizing he was the only person present with any interest in Step in Time Syncopation, Todd visibly drooped, letting out a sigh.

Against her better judgment, Kairi approached him once more. "No one to play with?"

"What was your first clue?" Todd sighed.

Kairi then realized it was rather odd that she'd come across him alone in the first place. "Where's the rest of the Brotherhood? Shouldn't you be playing against one of them?"
"They went out to pick up supplies," Todd related. "Said I couldn't come along because apparently – " He made finger quotes around the appropriate words. "I 'blow the shoplifting operation' an' 'attract attention' an' 'make a scene every time' an' they ain't 'havin' a repeat of the synthesis shop incident.'"

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that last part about shoplifting," Kairi told him. "I'm sorry they – "

"Hey." Todd pointed at her accusingly. "Don't you dare pity me, got that?"

"Oops!" Kairi replied. "That was my bad. It's not like you deserve it anyway."

"I know that was s'posed to be some sorta insult, but I'mma take it."

"You COULD play against me," Kairi suggested, looking the machine over. "I've never done this before, but if you really need someone to compete with…"

"You ain't never played?" Todd said in astonishment. "Listen, princess, you ain't in my league. You ain't even close to my league. Only person who is is Pietro, an' that's 'cause he stinkin' cheats with that speed power a his."

"Is that you telling me to go away?" Kairi asked, actually finding herself in a bit of a smirking mood.

Todd sighed. "It would be, 'cept I'm desperate. Okay. Let's do this. First things first, no shoes."

He removed his sneakers and tossed them to an empty patch of floor, revealing his soiled, smelly socks with a hole over one toe, the fabric once white but now nearing brown. Kairi untied her own shoes gracefully before setting them next to Todd's, showing off her own ankle-high socks with delicate pink rhinestones forming a flower pattern atop each foot. What struck her as odd, however, was the contrast between her shoes and Todd's. Though it should have seemed obvious whose would be the worse for wear, his were actually still only mildly scuffed, fresh from the dressphere he'd recently acquired. Kairi's sneakers, on the other hand, were beaten up and stained from her travels and battles, a small tear even beginning to show in the fabric. Maybe the first step to solving her problems was getting some sturdier footwear.

Todd stepped up onto one of the floor pads with its arrows, and Kairi took the other. "How does this work?" she asked.

"Do I really gotta?" Todd groaned.

"If you want somebody to play with," Kairi teased, "you have to explain the game."

"Okay, fine," Todd told her. "So it's like this. The screen's gonna light up with half for you an' half for me. You focus on your half. The arrows on the screen match up to the arrows on the floor. The arrow hits, you stomp on the right one. You gotta do it on the beat or you lose. Also, this one's a little more hardcore than the DDR I got used to. Back home, what, a minute thirty seconds? Here, they make ya do the full song. Got it?"

"I think so!" Kairi said perkily.

"Good," Todd told her, "'cause I ain't explainin' it again."

He removed from his pocket a small wooden charm carved to look like a munny crystal, attached to a rubber band. "An' here's where I get us infinite free plays," he said proudly as he regarded the slug.

"Um…" Kairi broke in, fishing around in her pocket. "Why don't I spot this match so we can do this legally?"

Todd leaned back to let her pass by him and put a crystal in the slot. He wasn't about to say no to someone offering up their munny for his entertainment.

Kairi returned to her pad as the screen lit up. Todd began to use the arrows on his pad to cycle through the song list that appeared, a snippet playing as he hovered over each title. He rejected them quickly, one by one: "No – no – no – nope – not that one – too slow – too fast – hate this song – high-scored that one – hate that song – nope – never again – PERFECT."

He gave Kairi a leer. "Hope you're ready to get your butt kicked, princess."

"We'll see about that," Kairi replied cheekily.

In truth, she wasn't even looking to win. Just to play. She could have picked a better companion than Todd Tolansky if it had been up to her, but then again, with an enemy, she knew she wasn't obligated to divulge her feelings. Any of her friends would likely be trying to coax her emotions out right now, and she knew that was going to be the only solution in the long run, but she wanted to avoid that for just a while longer. Besides, sassing Todd was fun in its own way.

The screen changed to reveal the outlines of the four arrows that matched the foot pads on each half, a white line dividing each player's view. The background of this particular song's visual was a stark black. As neon-colored arrows began to fly onto the screen, a loud rock song filled with electronic thrums boomed from the speakers. The arrows began to fall into place, and both dancers moved to match.

Todd had used his slug to practice this song a fair bit, and while it was fast-paced with a veritable barrage of arrows, he kept up the pace with few misses. Kairi used this match to simply get a feel for the game; it was difficult at first, and she occasionally mixed up the right arrow with the left, but she kept her score afloat just high enough to keep the game from ending prematurely. She could see why this was fun to Todd, and was quite enjoying it herself once she got into the swing. The fast movement required of her feet got her adrenaline rushing, and the song that provided the game's drive was powerfully catchy, if not her usual taste.

As the pace got more frenzied, Kairi noted her long auburn hair swinging into her face when she made a drastic move on the pad, occasionally obscuring her view of the screen and causing her to miss valuable points. That would have to be fixed.

The song hit its final wubs, then faded out on one last note that required Kairi and Todd each to stamp on one arrow and hold it down. Once the music faded into silence, the screen rolled over to show their scores. In comparison to Todd's, Kairi's score was pitiful. Yet her appetite had been whetted, and she had a feeling she could do a little better in another round.

"Told ya you weren't in my league," Todd bragged.

"I can see that," Kairi played along, reaching into her skirt pocket again to this time bring out a hair tie; she always kept a few on her in case of emergency. Pulling her hair back into a neat ponytail, she suggested, "Wanna teach me a lesson again?"

"What's the point in teachin' ya what you already know?"

"You have literally no one else to compete against."

Todd shrugged. "Okay. If you're havin' fun with me handin' your butt to ya, that's your business."

Kairi spotted him another munny crystal, and he went through the song list again: "Nope – nope – hate it – nope – high-scored it – sick of it – can never get that one outta my head – nope – nope – "

"Wait!" Kairi cried as she heard one of the snippets. "Go back!"

"Huh?" Todd cycled back a couple titles to let the song demo play longer.

"I LOVE this song!" Kairi cried. "Can we do it?"

"No," Todd told her flat-out.

"Why not?"
"'Cause you love it, that's why."

"Oh, I see," Kairi said smugly. "You think you'll lose if we play to a song I like."

"Wha – that is not what I said!"

"No," Kairi teased, "but it's what you're thinking."

"Fine," Todd said as he selected the song. "I'll give you home song advantage an' still whip ya."

A poppy dance anthem sounded out over a background styled to look like pink flames. Arrows swarmed onto the screen, and once again, the players were off.

This time, Kairi felt more in her element. Her old favorite song ("old" insofar as knowing it from the radio since she'd first started spending more time in Radiant Garden) gave her a pleasant sense of both nostalgia and encouragement as she focused on arrows, now more used to the concept of what she was supposed to be doing. Her hair was tamed where it belonged, as well, and she could focus on the screen. The majority of her arrows were landed this time around.

When the song faded out, the scoring screen showed a different story from last time. Todd Tolansky, master of rhythm games, had lost to Kairi by a good margin.

"Wha – HOW?" Todd cried in indignation. "You never even played this before! You lie to me about that?"

"Nnnnnope," Kairi told him as she smiled smugly.

Todd sniffed. "You just got lucky, then."

"Maybe I did," Kairi countered. "Or maybe I'm just a natural. Though now that I think about it…maybe your hair's getting in your way, too. It's pretty long."

Before Todd knew what was happening, Kairi had moved swiftly, and he felt a snap at the back of his head where she'd planted a hair tie, pulling back his dishwater-blond hair.

"When's the last time you washed your hair?" Kairi asked in disgust, rubbing her fingers together where a thin film of grease had come away.

"On the thirty-first of nunyabusiness," Todd told her.

A high-pitched squeal from behind both of them got their attention. They turned in synchronized curiosity to see Rikku floating there, beaming broadly.

"Oh my gosh!" Rikku cried. "You two are bae goals!"

"Bae…?" Kairi repeated.

"I don' like how that sounds," Todd groaned.

"You know!" Rikku clarified. "You're a cute couple! I've been watching you since you started playing Syncopation, and I want my relationship with my future boyfriend to be like that!"

"We're a…" Kairi began.

"Cute…couple?" Todd finished.

They both physically recoiled at the thought.

Rikku's face fell. "You mean you two aren't together?"

"No!" Todd insisted. "We ain't even friends!"

"We're just two rivals trying to beat each other at a dancing game," Kairi said with a shrug.

"But you even have the matching ponytails!" Rikku pouted.

Todd took that as his cue to rip out his hair tie, pulling it back like the band of a slingshot and snapping it toward Kairi. Kairi quickly dodged the projectile before sticking her tongue out at Todd to drive in how he'd missed.

"Can I still watch your next match?" Rikku asked.

"…We do gotta settle this with a tiebreaker," Todd realized.

"I was thinking the same thing," Kairi admitted. "One more round!"

"Don't think you're gonna get lucky this time, princess," Todd spat.

"If your hair gets in your face, and you lose," Kairi told him, "you can't say I didn't try to help you."

One more munny crystal was deposited. The song selected was among the most difficult: a fast-paced, high-pitched number set against a background of pastel blue and pink cotton-candy clouds. The screen filled with arrows; both competitors narrowed their focus and dove in on the first beat.

During Todd and Kairi's earlier competition, a few other notable locals had entered Litwak's and failed to notice the dancing pair completely. Lance, Pietro, Fred, and Wanda had completed their errands and had decided to use the rest of the day to help Wanda reclaim her lost childhood (which was an excuse for most of them to play video games).

"I keep telling you this isn't my thing," Wanda said as her digital car of choice overtook Pietro's custom model in Sugar Rush.

"You've totally played games before!" Pietro reminded her.

"I like story-driven games," Wanda told him. "Not trying to drive a fake car faster than you!"

"Well, you're winning at it," Lance pointed out.

"Wha – that is so not fair!" Pietro whined, making evasive maneuvers around the track hazards.

"You wanted to play this game," Wanda reminded him. "You don't get to be mad if you lose."

"She's gotcha there!" Fred laughed. "Man, I just wish Todd was here for this."

"We gotta find some way to get phones or somethin'," Lance agreed. "That way, we could actually find each other in this stupid town."

Wanda's cookie car crossed the finish line as Pietro's jaw dropped. "Happy?" she asked.

"Wh – NO!" Pietro sputtered. "We're going again!"

"I'm taking a break from this," Wanda said as she stepped away from the machine. "You can beat your boyfriend at this one now."

"I'll take that up," Lance laughed.

"What's goin' on over there?" Fred wondered out loud, drawing everyone's attention to a crowd that was gathering in one corner of the building.

Pietro forwent the chance to race against Lance out of curiosity. "I'm checkin' it out," he declared. "Probably some idiot cheating and exploiting some huge glitch."

He sped over to get a quick glance, but was held in place by what he realized he was looking at. "YOU GUYS!" He waved at his three companions. "GET OVER HERE!"

Lance, Fred, and Wanda hustled after him to see what all the fuss was about.

Meanwhile, Ruby, Jaune, Nora, and Ren had also ended up at Litwak's as part of their Team RNJR bonding day. Nora had fallen on an old standby the moment she'd noticed the Whack-a-Heartless machine (though she'd grown up on a version called "Whack-a-Grimm"), and she liked to think she was honing her combat skills as she smacked each of the tiny Shadows into the holes from which they'd come.

"OH YEAH!" she cried aggressively. "THOUGHT YOU COULD MESS WITH NORA, HUH? WELL, YOU MESSED WITH THE WRONG HUNTRESS! DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIIIIIEEEEE!"

"Has she always been this enthusiastic?" Jaune asked Ren.

"Yyyyyyup," Ren answered, nonplussed.

"Wha – I'm never gonna beat her score at that rate!" Ruby whined.

"It's not a competition," Ren said calmly.

"YEAH IT IS!" Nora contradicted. "AND I'M WINNING IT!"

She sent off her final Heartless, tallying an unreasonably high score. "Beat THAT!" she said as she pointed toward each of her companions in turn.

By then, the crowd had gathered around the corner, and Jaune's attention was caught. "What're they looking at?" he wondered out loud.

"Should we go check it out?" Ren added.

"Yeah!" Ruby insisted, leading the charge. She reached the crowd before her friends, and when she realized the reason for the scene, she began to bounce up and down, waving them over excitedly: "GUYSGUYSGUYSGUYS GET OVER HERE!"

Ruby, Jaune, Ren, Nora, Pietro, Lance, Fred, and Wanda all arrived in the midst of the crowd to see, at the epicenter, Kairi and Todd dueling it out on Step in Time Syncopation, their feet moving blindingly fast over the dance pads as the bubbly song bounced out. Their scores were neck and neck, one edging out the other every so often only to be overtaken later.

Overcome with pride, Jaune pointed and cried out, "THAT'S MY GIRLFRIEND!"

Kairi turned her head momentarily to confirm that it was indeed Jaune who had spoken up, and she flashed him a smile before fumbling her step and turning back to the screen.

Fred, feeling an identical surge of admiration, pointed at Todd; "AND THAT'S MY BOYFRIEND!"

Todd looked to give him the briefest of finger-guns before realizing that he was losing his own points by not paying attention.

When both Kairi and Todd had taken their attention off their significant others, Rikku, noticing that Kairi's score had taken a dramatic lead, waved over to Jaune; "HEY! BOYFRIEND! WHAT'S HER NAME?"

Jaune knew exactly why Rikku had asked. "KAIRI!" Jaune cried out.

Together, they started up a chant of "KAI-RI! KAI-RI! KAI-RI!" to the beat, everyone in the crowd participating barring the Brotherhood.

When Todd's score finally matched and overtook Kairi's, the cheer died down. Pietro immediately pointed at Todd, screaming, "HISNAMEISTOADCHEERFORHIM!"

Now the crowd, minus Team RNJR, was chanting, "TOAD! TOAD! TOAD!"

"KAIRI'S GONNA KICK YOUR SALAMANDER'S BUTT INTO NEXT WEEK!" Ruby yelled across at Pietro.

"THIS IS THE ONE THING TOAD IS STUPID GOOD AT!" Pietro yelled back. "YOUR BARBIE DOLL CAN'T WIN!"

"AT LEAST! SHE! SHOWERS!" Ruby screamed.

"SHE THINKS PINK GOES WITH RED HAIR!" Pietro countered. "NOT EVEN TOAD IS THAT STUPID!"

The song made a big finish. Todd and Kairi each held down their respective arrows. As the audio died, the screen rolled over to the scoring. Breathing heavily, Kairi and Todd looked over the results.

Kairi had won by ten points.

Team RNJR erupted into loud whooping (sans Ren, of course), and as Kairi ran out into the crowd, she and Jaune were of one mind. Jaune put out his arms, Kairi practically crashed into them, and he picked her up and spun her around, both laughing.

"You did GREAT!" Jaune cried.

"Thank youuuuu!" Kairi squealed.

Todd gaped at Kairi, looking from her to the scoring screen in disbelief. "But – " he sputtered. "I – she – "

He felt a heavy hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry about it, man," Fred told him. "You had an off day. There's no WAY she's as good at this game as you."

Todd patted Fred's hand with his own. "That's what I'm tellin' myself to live this down, man."

Kairi had returned to walk toward Todd, a bright smile on her face. If she was smug about this victory, she wasn't letting it show. "Hey, Toad," she greeted. "Or is it Todd?"

Fred removed his hand so Todd could walk toward her. "'S Toad to you," he grunted.

Kairi nodded. "Okay, then, Toad." She put out her right hand. "Good game."

Todd stared at the hand in disbelief.

"I mean it," Kairi told him. "I had a lot of fun today."

"DON'T SHAKE HANDS WITH THE ENEMY!" Ruby screamed from behind, but she went ignored.

Todd regarded Kairi's hand for a moment more before placing his own right hand in it, grasping it firmly, shaking it once, and letting go quickly, as though the physical contact could contaminate him; Kairi felt the natural stickiness of his finger-pads rip away from her own skin and was unfazed. "Yeah, same," he muttered.

"Maybe we can do this again so you can win your title back?" Kairi challenged.

Todd very nearly snorted something about how Kairi would just love that, but he had to pass…and yet, he realized that wasn't what he wanted to say at all. "Well, gotta defend my title." He shrugged casually. "Next time, though, I'mma finish practicin' every last one a these songs. Even the girly stuff you like. You ain't gonna stand a CHANCE."

"I look forward to it," Kairi said with a smirk.

Todd realized he did, too, but he wasn't about to admit that. He took his place among the Brotherhood, taking a motion from Fred as a cue to hop up onto his boyfriend's shoulders.

Kairi gathered her shoes and left Litwak's with Jaune, Nora, Ren, and Ruby, the latter of whom walked out backwards, pointing at the Brotherhood the whole way and crying, "In your FACE! In your FACE!"

The crowd dispersed, having nothing more to see. Todd then asked, "So, anybody tried to get the Maximoffs to face off at Sugar Rush yet?"

Twilight was spreading across the skies of Radiant Garden, casting long shadows. Jaune and Kairi's hands automatically found each other and locked together, their arms swinging a bit as they strolled. "I like your hair tied back like that," Jaune told Kairi.

"Thank you," Kairi replied. "It gets in the way a lot less like this. I'm actually starting to wonder if maybe I should just get it cut short. That way, I wouldn't even have to bother tying it back."

"YES!" Ruby shrieked. "YOU SHOULD DO IT!"

"Short hair is the BEST!" Nora added. "You gotta join the club!"

"One day, you're gonna meet my sister Yang," Ruby went on, "and she's gonna try to tell you that long hair is better than short hair. Yang…is…a…LIAR!"

Kairi giggled. "Well, I only did start growing it out after my first adventure with Sora and Riku. Maybe it's time to go back."

Ruby and Nora strode out front of the group, pumping their fists to the sky in unison as they chanted, "SHORT HAIR! SHORT HAIR! SHORT HAIR!"

"That would look really cute on you, too," Jaune contributed. "Though…you know. Every hairstyle would look cute on you. You're just cute."

"So are you." Kairi leaned over and up to peck him on the cheek.

"So," Jaune asked, "how'd you end up in a dance game tournament against one of the Brotherhood?"

"It just kinda happened by chance, I guess," Kairi replied. "Though I was looking for a good distraction."

"A distraction?" Jaune replied. "From what?"

"Well…" Kairi realized that after having her spirits lifted, she was in a much better place to talk about what was bothering her without the risk of bursting into tears. "I haven't exactly been keeping up in lessons with Master Yen Sid. Everyone else is getting so far ahead of me. I tried to practice some of the spells today, but…it didn't work out. I just kind of felt…useless. Today helped get my mind off that a little."

"Useless?" Jaune repeated, astonished. "Kairi, you could never be USELESS. Even if you can't fight as well as everyone else, you're always such a good friend, and you look out for people. You were even nice to TOAD."

"I wouldn't have been!" Ruby chimed in.

"You have this way of cheering people up," Jaune went on. "You're just a good person, and you always use that when you can to make a difference. You're not useless. People would be crazy to call you that!"

Kairi smiled. "Thank you. I really mean it. It's just…" She sighed. "I want to be good at fighting with the Keyblade. I NEED to be good at that. I need to be able to stand up and protect my friends when the Keyblade War finally happens. I can't just stay back again and wait for things to turn out okay. But if I rush into a situation where I can't hold my own…I might die."

Jaune's grip on Kairi's hand instinctively tightened at the thought.

"Oh - !" Kairi realized. "Jaune, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean – "

"No, it's fine," Jaune told her. "It's scary to think about, but it's gotta be way scarier for you to think about dying than me to think about losing you. If you need to talk about it, then I'm here to listen."

"Me too!" Ruby piped up.

"And me!" Nora added.

"I'm not really the best at motivational speeches," Ren chimed in, "but I can at least listen."

"Why didn't you tell us earlier?" Jaune asked.

"Because I just couldn't admit it," Kairi stated. "I didn't want to be a burden on anyone, and I didn't want everyone to think I was losing it. Even though I kind of am."

"Well, some people just need more practice to get things right," Jaune told her. "I was that way, remember? I didn't even qualify for Beacon."

"And now Jaune's practically a Huntsman!" Nora cheered.

"If you really wanna be a Keyblade Master," Jaune told Kairi, "then it'll happen. Even if it takes you longer. But I already know you're strong. You can get this."

"I hope you're right," Kairi replied.

Jaune thought about how he only learned as many skills as he had because he'd had Pyrrha helping him behind the scenes. "You really do give your all to your friends," he stated. "Maybe it's time your friends started giving back. I obviously don't know much about magic, and there's a pretty good chance I don't actually know anything you didn't already learn, but…if you wanna go over anything about fighting stance, I can help you practice."

"Keyblades are kinda like scythes, right?" Ruby chimed in. "Maybe I could show you some of the moves Uncle Qrow taught me."

"You can always use me for lightning target practice!" Nora volunteered. "But ONLY the lightning spell, got it?"

"You just wanna see how strong you get off thunder magic, don't you?" Ren accused gently.

"I'm just saying we'd both win!" Nora replied.

"We could make a day out of it!" Ruby squealed. "Or a club! Team RNJR plus Kairi! …Wait. Is there a color you can make if you put a K in there…" She sank into indistinct muttering.

"You in, Ren?" Nora asked.

"I might not be much help," Ren admitted, "but I can join in."

"You're in charge of moral support!" Nora assigned.

"KRRimsoN?" Ruby muttered. "No, wait, that doesn't have a J…"

"Well, you know I'm in," Jaune stated.

Now Kairi could almost have cried again, but for a completely different reason. "Thank you all," she said sincerely, voice quivering. "Thank you so much."

"No prob!" Nora replied. "Any day of the week!"

"We're here for you," Jaune said reassuringly, squeezing Kairi's hand again but in a more gentle manner.

"I mean, you could stretch it out into JacK-o-LanteRN," Ruby muttered, "if you used 'Lie' instead of 'Ren,' but that's kind of a big leap, and actually, I think Roman's emblem is a jack o'lantern, so we can't do that…"

"What kind of stuff were you falling behind on anyway?" Nora asked.

"It's kind of big new magic," Kairi informed her. "I was actually trying to – "

It hit her suddenly. The Magic Carousel required timing to cast as the rings of light reached their zenith. The same kind of timing as needed to properly play Step in Time Syncopation. The rings came out at an even tempo, too, so it probably wouldn't be hard to pick a song that matched their pace and use the rememberance of the sound as a cue.

"I'll be right back!" Kairi suddenly cried as she dropped Jaune's hand and raced around a corner. "I just have to try something!"

Jaune, Ruby, Nora, and Ren watched after her for a moment. Then, Ren said, "I'm guessing this is the part where I try to say we should respect Kairi's privacy, and then we all end up going to spy on her anyway."

Kairi skidded into an open square, which was deserted at this hour of the day, overcast with the shadows that followed the setting sun. She called Destiny's Embrace to hand, clearly picturing the carousel in her mind.

She called up the Attraction Flow in a single flourish, its twinkling lights standing out against the spreading dusk. She vaulted up onto the nearest passing horse, taking a look at the rings of light below.

Just like the neon arrows.

As each ring reached the outer rim of the carousel, Destiny's Embrace slashed, sustaining the spell. After three swipes, Kairi actually did think of a song she liked that had the exact same beat as the rippling of the rings, which made it all the easier to cast them. Not to mention that she hadn't realized earlier how much her long hair had been flying into her field of vision; now that it wasn't, the difference was clear. The rings did speed up, then, once she'd gotten it down, but she was prepared for that. She took the carousel all the way to its limit, and at its end, it spun ever faster before fading away in a shower of sparkles and depositing Kairi gently on her feet.

"YES!" she cried, leaping into the air.

She made to walk back to Team RNJR only to find them just around the corner. Putting her hands behind her back and rocking on her feet, she teased, "What're you doing?"

"Nothing?" Jaune attempted.

"Not spying on you!" Ruby blurted as Ren shook his head with a sigh.

"Are you KIDDING?" Nora cried. "WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THAT GIANT GLOWING MERRY-GO-ROUND YOU JUST SUMMONED OUT OF NOWHERE!"

Kairi couldn't help but smile, not actually minding that they'd seen one bit.

"It was pretty amazing, actually," Jaune admitted. "Was that what you couldn't get down earlier? It looks like you figured it out now!"

"I think I did!" Kairi boasted. She looked back over her shoulder at the now-empty square. "I'm not there yet," she admitted freely. "But I'll get there one day soon."

...

Maleficent, Hades, Doom, and Loki stood around the fire pit in the round of Maleficent's throne room, discussing their respective missions.

Of course, when the Unstoppable had been thrown into the black hole, Hades had immediately encased the entire ship in his own magic, protecting it from the crushing pressure outside. There had been a lot of noise as they'd fallen through the abyss, but at the end, they had all been alive, and been able to spirit back to the Forbidden Mountain. Hans had his physical form restored, rather miffed that he hadn't been able to watch Mozenrath die.

"It seems the fool now has half of what he requires to build his empire," Maleficent stated. "It should ultimately be of little consequence to our plan…and yet it is concerning that he has made it so far."

"Well, put your concerns to rest," Loki told her, "for the other half of his plan still lies locked up in Asgard. I had hoped to bring you a pretty little present in the form of one of them, but their stupidity has apparently grown in the manner that it has because some form of luck smiles upon them. Though let us concentrate on what we have won rather than what we have lost. For instance, I have won a wager, and I fully intend to have a new helm forged from that coin."

"If you mean to mock me by parading about in your new helm and declaring it a symbol of my foolishness," Doom growled, "Doom will not let it stand."

"Will you?" Loki teased. "Or will you grin and bear it because you're fond of me?"

"I do not grin" was Doom's telling response.

"Furthermore, I have brought one more into the fold, as promised," Loki went on. "I think you'll like Amora. She's rather like what your nuisance princess might have become if she'd followed your path rather than those empty-headed faeries'. Right down to the name, I might add."

"I daresay seduction would not have been the first art I would train any apprentice in," Maleficent stated.

"Ah, yes, that is correct," Loki realized. "And you have discussed that little matter with your new paramour?"
"What, Malef being our ace who's ace?" Hades chimed in. "We got all the details worked out on that one."

"I rather pity you," Loki told Hades.

"You serious?" Hades replied. "This woman is WORTH IT."

"And besides," Maleficent stated coolly, "Hades is free to take whatever carnal outlets he pleases, so long as his heart belongs to me."

"Well, I suppose if it suits you," Loki replied in a tone dripping with sarcasm.

"Loki," Doom cautioned. "Do not test them."

"They know I speak in jest, Victor," Loki explained. "I do not actually find the situation pitiable. If anything, I'm pleased this operation may now take the form of a double date." This with a smirk. "See how much we've gained? You two, each other, and us, Amora and the security of the Tesseract."

"Yet that was not your end of the bargain," Maleficent reminded Loki.

"It wasn't?" Loki replied teasingly. "Was there something else I was supposed to retrieve? It's quite slipped my mind…"

"Loki," Doom warned.

"Do lighten up, Victor," Loki told him. "We all know it's only a game."

"A game I would not lose you to," Doom grunted. "After all, I seem to have put far more trust in you than you have ever proven yourself able to handle."

"Have I not made it clear that trusting me is a terrible idea?" Loki reminded everyone in the room. "All the same, you can trust me with this much."

He extended a hand: a fist that had remained closed since he had left Asgard. When he opened it, the Eternal Flame flickered to life within it.

"Your staff, please," Loki bade Maleficent.

She clutched the remains of her staff, holding the shaft out toward Loki's palm. He tilted his hand, and the Eternal Flame rushed toward the implement as though made of liquid, pooling into a sphere and forging into a solid, glassy surface. The Dragon's Eye was now replaced, the new orb tinted green or orange depending on the angle of the light.

"Your power is now restored to its former glory," Loki announced.

Maleficent spread out her arms, letting emerald flames engulf her frame. Magic flowed freely throughout her form once more. "All is as it should be," she remarked. "And as my first act…"

All four turned to look up at Maleficent's throne, carved in the shape of a winged demon. The upper level was where they had told their onlooker to wait, but he had tired of standing, instead slumping down onto the throne.

"OY!" Hades yelled at him. "Who said you could sit on that? No one, that's who!"

Hans Westergaard quickly rose to his feet, knowing he couldn't press his luck with Hades.

"Do join us down below," Maleficent urged him. "It is time you receive your reward."

Hans descended the stairs until he was on the lower level. "About time," he grunted. "This is seriously overdue."

"You wanna watch the attitude in front of the people in charge?" Hades warned him.

"Let him be," Maleficent said calmly, almost amused. "After all, his forward constitution is what drew us to him as an agent, is it not? And it has paid off most delightfully. For delivering to us one of our most slippery enemies, you shall receive this in return."

Maleficent put her hand out toward Hans, and he suddenly felt a weight return to where it should have been, but was missing for so long. His right arm was complete, though despite feeling exactly like an arm of flesh, he could see that the part of the limb that was replaced was solid gold. He raised his arm, turning his hand over at the wrist, flexing the fingers. It moved exactly like a human hand should. However, when he prodded it with his left hand, he could feel the cold solidness of the metal.

"Yeah, I'd say this is a good reward," he remarked.

"That is not all," Maleficent told him. "Where Mozenrath sacrificed his right hand for power, you gained yours for it."

"In layman's terms, please?" Hans said, deadpan.

"You are now able to use that hand to cast several forms of basic magic," Maleficent informed him. "With practice will come proficiency."

Taken aback, Hans immediately knew he had to test it out. He turned away, aiming his new golden hand at the bare wall. A burst of flame rocketed forth from it, scorching the stones. "I could get used to this," he remarked. He tested out a few more staples: Thunder, Aero, Gravity. When he at last concluded the demonstration by creating a small iceberg that rose up from the floor, he chuckled; "How's THAT for irony?"

Loki sidled right up next to Maleficent, whispering so Hans couldn't hear: "All this with the stipulation that you may take control of that hand at any moment should he turn traitor?"

"Of course," Maleficent replied, equally quietly. "Do you take me for a fool?"
"It is one of the oldest tricks in the book," Loki admitted.

When Hans turned back to the quartet, Loki leaned away from Maleficent, and Hans was none the wiser. "You're welcome," Hans said. "I mean, this is a thank-you, right? Both for Mozenrath AND hooking you two up."

"Oy," Hades sighed. "Listen up, lover boy, because I'm only gonna tell you this once, capisce?" His head flames were tinted orange at the edges now, starting to trail down the sides of his face to spread across his shoulders. "DON'T YOU EVER MEDDLE IN MY LOVE LIFE AGAIN."

"You sure?" Hans asked. "See, things might not have gone as planned with Maleficent, but if you have any side flings in mind based on your arrangement – "

"YOU STAY OUT OF MY SEX LIFE, TOO!" Hades snarled.

"Fine," Hans said, uppity. "Your loss. After all, seduction is my business, and I take romance very, very seriously."

It was at that moment that Demyx happened to be passing the throne room, and, spotting Hans returned from his mission through the door, leaned into the chamber, pointing at Hans with both index fingers and spontaneously yelling, "DO YOU LIKE WAFFLES?"

Without missing a beat or even drawing attention to his new magical hand, Hans whirled about, pointing back at Demyx with both of his own index fingers and singing out, "YEAH, WE LIKE WAFFLES!"

"DO YOU LIKE PANCAKES?"

"YEAH, WE LIKE PANCAKES!"

Demyx and Hans strolled out of the chamber together, singing the exasperatingly catchy song Demyx had discovered through meme videos all the way down the hall.

"…I still don't GET those two," Hades admitted.

"They are beyond my ken," Doom agreed. "Though perhaps that is the sum of it. Two such irrational people deserve each other."

"Back to the matter at hand," Loki steered, "what is the next step for our band of overtakers?" He had deliberately planted the word where it would be noticed; he knew better than to simply name Maleficent's forces for her.

"There is the matter of – " Maleficent halted herself. "What was that you said? 'Overtakers'? …Why, I rather like that. To the point, however, there is the matter of the Radiant Garden Restoration Committee and their army of deluded would-be heroes being able to predict our every move with their hourglass."

"Spyin' on everyone else is our gig," Hades emphasized. "Exclusively."

Loki and Doom exchanged a glance before Loki stated, "I may have a solution to that."

It was funny that the subject of scrying with Grimhilde's mirror, as Hades had implied, was invoked, for someone was using that very mirror to spy on the throne room just then, listening in on the conversation between Loki, Doom, Hades, and Maleficent. And while he was interested in the plotting the quartet was making as to the direction of what was now definitely the Overtakers, the man who had commissioned Grimhilde's help for this endeavor was far more interested in a smaller matter that was part and parcel of the discussion.

"So Lover Boy got the girl after all," Facilier said with a grin as he watched the scrying glass.

"Does your heart yet ache for him, knowing he has chosen another?" Grimhilde asked smugly.

"Now who went an' implied anythin' like that?" Facilier asked, his grin quickly souring. "He's just a friend, that's all."

"You have hardly been subtle," Grimhilde told him.

He knew he couldn't win this one. "Well, that was never the point," he stated. "The point was makin' sure my tarot turned out after all. Wouldn' wanna go 'round advertisin' that I could interpret when it was comin' up false alarms. Not among this crowd, anyway."

"You wanted to see him happy," Grimhilde accused. "How disgustingly sentimental."

"You ain't much of a social butterfly, are ya?"

"I spare only what emotion is needed."

"An' I guess ya just got none left after Miss de Vil gets the lion's share," Facilier teased. "I done seen all I needed. Ain't no use knowin' what I shouldn't about the upper echelon."

Grimhilde dismissed the mirror's vision. "Perhaps there is hope yet," she suggested. "Hades may decide to take you to his bed, given the arrangement. You would not own his heart, but you could still gain a proximity."

"That's on him now," Facilier stated. He had to admit the prospect had merit, but he wasn't yet sure how he felt about it. Could he stand to get that close, physically, and not hunger for more?

"You could quite easily foretell whether or not he would propose it," Grimhilde reminded Facilier.

"That's the thing about the future," Facilier replied as he straightened his hat. "Somethin' I try not to let on to the average customer. Readin' tarot can get ya a near guarantee, but in the end, when it comes to the future…" He flashed Grimhilde a brilliant, knowing smile. "Ain't nothin' set in stone. An' I'd keep that in mind regardin' more than just the castle matchmakin'."

With that, he took his leave.

...

The village of Kuroyuri had been ravaged by bandits, Grimm, and time. It was nothing more than a dark husk of what had once been a thriving community. Now its broken walls housed emptiness, not a living soul to be seen aside from the occasional scrap-foraging Grimm.

So of course, when the Corridor emptied Xayide, Vexen, Roman, Snatcher, Neo, Harley, Peter, Garfield, and Aghoul (who was now borne on a magical stretcher Xayide had conjured, body parts more or less lined up if still detached) in Kuroyuri, the latter took the time to look around and remark, "Now, this is my kind of town."

"Gives me the creeps, actually," Harley admitted, crossing her arms and hugging her forearms with her hands.

"We'll be fine so long as we stick together," Roman stated. "Pretty sure I know the area. This is bandit territory. And bandit territory is basically the same thing as a Grimm smorgasbord. Thing is, I can't think of any Grimm that could be worse than what we just got away from."

"What matters is that this area is quiet," Xayide observed. "We are the only ones to be found for miles, it seems. The perfect opportunity to converse without being overheard."

"Yeah," Harley said tentatively, knowing what she had to say and not feeling particularly confident about saying it.

It helped that Roman set her up. "Harley Quinn!" he crowed, approaching the young woman from behind. As she turned around to face him, he continued, "I will admit I had my doubts, but you really proved yourself in the clutch. You're a talented burglar, you had my back in a scrap, and you just kinda fit in with the general WHAM ARMY vibe. I think we both know that I did some things that I regret, but can we put that behind us? Because you passed the test with flying colors, and I have to admit I'm gettin' kind of attached to ya, Harls. So. Wanna make it official?" He put out his right hand. "Will you join the ranks of the WHAM ARMY?"

Harley looked at Roman's hand, then slowly up to his face.

"No," she stated.

"GREAT!" Roman cried. "See, I was thinkin' you'd make a great addition to improv night and – " He suddenly realized she hadn't said what he'd expected her to say. "Wait, what do you mean NO?"

"I mean no, Romy," Harley insisted. "I ain't joinin' your club."

"But - !" Roman sputtered. "We had the – and there was the whole – oh." He sighed. "I get it. Still can't forgive me, can ya? Well, can't really blame you on that one. I fucked up. Plain and simple."

"It ain't that," Harley insisted. "It's somethin' else." She averted her gaze. "It's about…breakin' eggs."

"You're turning me down because you don't want to KILL PEOPLE?" Roman said incredulously, finally realizing the problem.

"Look, it ain't like my hands are clean!" Harley burst out suddenly, once more looking Roman in the eye. "I've done some bad things, all right? I even bashed a guy's head in once 'cause he was gonna carve Peter up inta sliced deli meat! Sometimes, people gotta die, an' that's the facts! But they don't always! We coulda knocked those guards out cold! An' their girls didn' do anythin' wrong! They weren't even in our way! I just…it made me sick, get it? Sick!"' "Um, newsflash," Roman told her. "That's always been how it works! Gar and Mister Twister are on the murder train! They were right there when we took down Amaterasu in cold blood!"

"An' that's okay," Harley stated. "I know this is gonna sound all hypocritical, but I'm fine with them doin' what they do, so long as they don' force me inta it. After all…I loved Mr. J, y'know? An' he was the worst of the worst. Both of him. But he'd always try to get me to do the kinda stuff you want…an' Gar an' Peter might have bloody hands, but they know I got a line! An' they respect that!"

"Don't worry, Harley," Peter said reassuringly. "Your reticence to kill the innocent doesn't make you any less of a villain."

"Actually, I'm fairly certain it does," Snatcher grunted. "It's a rather big marker on the scale used to measure evil."

"It doesn't make you any less of a villain in our hearts," Peter corrected, placing both hands over his chest.

"Now that just plain doesn't make any sense!" Aghoul barked.

"That pool a blood was like bein' with Mr. J all over again," Harley said softly. "I know I ain't a good person. I meant what I said to ya. Bein' one of the bad guys…it's just right for me now. It's what makes me happy. But not like that. I'm in it for the stealin', the cheatin', the lyin' – "

"Surviving," Roman filled in quietly.

"Not killin' the ones who didn't do nothin'," Harley concluded. "The WHAM ARMY gotta do that to get anywhere. I ain't stupid. I know that. It took seein' you blow that guy up ta make it hit home, though. The rest of it's been real fun, an' I'm sure glad I got ta know ya. All of ya. Even Vexie. I know ya got a heart down there, even if it is cold."

"Don't call me that," Vexen huffed.

"But I gotta stick to my guns," Harley insisted. "Even if that means goin' my own way."

Roman stared at Harley in disbelief for a moment. He really had grown to like her. He'd had high hopes for a friendship to blossom among the WHAM ARMY ranks. Yet he had to accept that it was not to be. There was no use in getting angry, nor in arguing. Not this time. He'd proposed this mission with the intent of treating her like an equal, and that was how he was determined to see it through.

"Well, okay, then," he sighed. "Guess that wraps that up. Kinda anticlimactic, if you ask me, and, hey, a bit disappointing, but that's life, you know? The real world's cold, after all. Don't know how I keep forgetting that."

"Maybe it's 'cause ya found the people who warm it up for ya," Harley suggested with a sympathetic smile.

Roman smiled at that, seeing the truth in it. "So you go your way," he said, "and I go mine. But I think we both know what question that leaves on the table."

They both turned to look at Garfield and Peter, who stood sheepishly by.

"You know what we gotta do, right?" Garfield asked.

"I believe we're on the same page," Peter replied.

The pair strode up to Roman and Harley, each confident in his decision.

Peter turned to Harley, telling her, "I truly am going to miss you."

Garfield clapped Roman on the shoulder, telling him, "I'm gonna miss ya, pal."

Then both flinched, turning to each other and exclaiming, "Wait, what?"

"Um, we're going with Harley," Garfield insisted. "I'm not leaving her all on her own again. She's been our friend way longer than they have."

"I can't really abandon Roman and our friends among the WHAM ARMY in good conscience," Peter argued. "After all, we do owe Roman our lives – and it does seem that we are cut from the same, more murderous cloth."

"Well, we can't split up," Garfield insisted. "That's not an option."

"I agree wholeheartedly," Peter replied.

"You guys should just go with Romy an' the WHAM ARMY," Harley said solemnly. "It just wasn't s'posed to work out with me. You gotta destiny over there. I gotta figure my own way out."

Roman groaned. "You know, normally, here would be the part where I'd just take that offer and run with it, but now that you're actually under my skin, I can't." A sigh. "Guys, just go with Harls. You've been running her gig since before mine. It's not like I have a friend shortage."

"Oh, come now," Snatcher broke in as he strode up to the quartet, "must we make this so unbearably dramatic? The solution's painfully obvious from where I've been standing."

"What's that?" Harley asked.

"A divide of time," Snatcher suggested. "Mr. Merkel and Mr. Lynns are by no means under obligation to make a choice between factions. We can certainly spare the method of transport to let them come and go at will. They'll carry out some dirty deeds with us; they'll carry out some…cleaner deeds with you."

"Are you suggesting a timeshare?" Peter asked, his smile lighting up all the brighter.

"Like joint custody," Garfield chimed in.

"I like that!" Harley chirped. "That way, I get ta hang out with ya, but I don' gotta feel bad about takin' ya away from the WHAM ARMY! I know ya really wanna go back."

"Hey, it works!" Roman agreed. "Look, I'm just gonna come out and say it. I miss you jerks, and if getting to shoot the shit with ya means I gotta let you go play anti-villain with Harley every other week, then that is A-okay by me."

"This really does solve all of our problems," Peter commented. "And so it shall be! Heists to carry out with each of you!"

"I like it," Garfield said with a nod. "It works."

"An' you two should take your turn with the WHAM ARMY next," Harley insisted.

"You sure about that?" Garfield asked.

"Yeah!" Harley chirped. "You guys just spent all this time with me goin' around Remnant an' shakin' up Mistral. You gotta spend some time with Romy now! Actually, if you could get me one a those scrolls, I got an even better idea! You can go back to the base there for as long as they need ya, but if I get a hot tip on a fun heist, I'll shoot ya a message, an' you guys can come meet me for the fun!"

"And you'll be all right all on your own?" Peter inquired.

"I'll be fine," Harley answered with a wave of her hand. "Truth be told…I actually don' mind havin' time to myself. I get to do what I want, when I want! An' you guys wouldn' wanna spend as much time shoppin' for skirts as I do."

"I wouldn't be so quick to assume that," Peter teased.

Harley looked up at Snatcher. "Thanks for suggestin' this, Mr. Snatcher. You really are a sweetheart."

"Once again, that assessment is COMPLETELY wrong," Snatcher countered. "After all, I'm with the band of ruthless murderers, or have you forgotten?"

"Didn't I tell you about the time he almost trash-compacted an entire race of trolls in one go?" Roman said proudly.

"Yeah, I'm gonna take a hard pass," Harley said teasingly.

"As for the scroll…" Garfield passed his over to Harley. "I'll just get another one back at base. I'll shoot you my new number once I've got it. For now, you can just text Peter if you need to. For fun or emergencies."

Harley swiped through Garfield's contact list. "He ain't in here…"

"Yes, he is. Under 'D' for 'Dollicious.'"

"FOUND HIM!"

To seal the deal, Harley suddenly received a text from "Dollicious" consisting of only a ":-D" emoticon. She looked to Peter to see him making the exact same face.

"Well, I guess this is goodbye," Harley stated. "This looks like as good a place to drop me off as any – "
"Whoa, no, no, no, no, no!" Roman interrupted. "I am not making THAT mistake again! This is a fucking death trap! We're dropping you off in actual civilization, and we're leaving you with a couple stolen purses to get by for a few days."

"How far is the nearest village?" Xayide asked.

Roman and Neo gave her twin shrugs. "I KIND of know this part of Anima," Roman admitted. "But I do know enough that the capital should be that way." He pointed confidently.

Neo took hold of his arm and repositioned it to a different angle.

"Or it's that way," Roman corrected. "Yeah, definitely that way. WHAM ARMY, move out. Seriously, I wanna make tracks before some kind of wacky arm-flailing Grimm shows up and reduces us to a pile of ash and bitter irony."

The contingent began the final stretch of their mission, setting out on foot for the general direction of Mistral.

"And by the way," Roman said, "any discussion topic is on the table except for the fallout we're going to get when we turn up to Righty with no fucking shiny cube. I'm really trying to avoid thinking about that."

Neo made a series of gestures that ended in her pointing at Vexen.

"Indeed," Xayide chimed in. "Let us talk about how Vexen pretends to be uncaring, yet turned back to rescue us in our hour of desperate need."

"TO AVOID THE VERY SAME FALLOUT!" Vexen insisted.

"A likely story," Aghoul snorted from the stretcher that floated alongside the group.

"You love us," Roman stated. "It's flattering, actually. To the point where I'm not even mad that you suggested throwing Archie to the bad guys to buy us enough time to escape."

Snatcher did a double take. "You suggested WHAT, AGAIN?"

"Now, Archie himself might have a different take on the matter," Roman said smugly.

"IT WAS YOU OR THE SAFETY OF THE ENTIRE TEAM!" Vexen argued. "LEAVING YOU BEHIND WOULD HAVE ALLOWED THE REST OF US TO ESCAPE AND COLLECT YOU AFTER THE FACT!"

"AND YET YOU OBVIOUSLY FOUND A WAY TO AVOID DOING THAT WITH LITTLE TROUBLE, DIDN'T YOU?" Snatcher shot back.

"IT WAS NOWHERE NEAR OBVIOUS!" Vexen barked. "ROMAN TORCHWICK, YOU SET ME UP FOR THIS CHASTISING, AND I AM NOT GOING TO LET YOU GET AWAY UNSCATHED!"

Harley, Garfield, and Peter were now all chuckling at Vexen's outburst. If anything, this team's last official trip together would be entertaining.

...

"WHENEVER I'M EVEN RELATIVELY CLOSE TO GETTING WHAT I WANT!" Mozenrath continued to rant, having been on this subject for too long already. "THAT'S WHEN THEY SHOW UP! EVERY SINGLE TIME! I CAN NEVER JUST MAKE A CLEAN GETAWAY, CAN I? NO, THOSE DO-GOODERS HAVE TO RAIN ON MY – "

Draco shoved Mozenrath aside rudely and roughly, flicking his wand toward the map and crying "ACCIO!"

The metallic sphere shot across the Etherium into Draco's waiting hand, where he shoved it at Mozenrath. "THERE!" he growled. "PROBLEM! SOLVED!"

And it would have been. However, while Mozenrath had been ranting, simultaneously, Wuya had asked Discord, "What are we up against? I need to know the threat level."

So Discord had taken out his comically large telescope once more, aiming it at the Gummi ship and looking through the window. "Let's see…"

As Mozenrath received the map from Draco, he realized then would be the perfect time to make a getaway via Corridor. And he very nearly did just that. But that was when Discord simply answered the question Wuya had asked:

"Looks like three locals, Sora, Donald Duck, Goofus George Dippy Dawg Goof, Kazuichi Soda, Aladdin, and Jasmine."

Mozenrath froze.

"What're ya waitin' for?" Hannibal asked. "Get us on outta here!"

"…No," Mozenrath said deliberately, his mouth breaking into a sinister smile.

"NO?" Hannibal repeated.

The Huntsman sighed. "It has just become personal."

"He heard the A-word and the J-word," Wuya groaned. "Mozenrath, can't you let it go for ONCE? We HAVE the map. You were only JUST ranting about how you never get the opportunity to make a clean getaway, and – George, you put that Lasso Boa Boa back where you found it right now."

"The battle is inevitable," the Huntsman reminded her as he brandished his signature Shen Gong Wu. "I wish to be prepared."

"This is an even better opportunity," Mozenrath pointed out. "Aladdin and Jasmine, speeding right into my open arms. They think they can win again, as per usual. But this time, I'm the one with the phenomenally cosmically powerful entity on MY side!"

Discord chuckled as he folded up the telescope into the thickness of a single lens, which he then pocketed right into his skin. "Ooh, I LIKE the way you think! Do you want me to end them all at once, or should we play a little game of cat-and-mouse?"

"Let's toy with them for a bit," Mozenrath suggested. "Let them THINK they have the upper hand."

"Now, that's just asking for trouble," Wuya sighed.

"And when it comes to Aladdin and Jasmine," Mozenrath stated, "I want the final blow."

"Done and done," Discord stated.

"Get Snipe from down below," Mozenrath demanded. "Drag Hämsterviel out of the engine room. This is your captain speaking, and I want all hands on deck. This is going to be fun."

"I just want it on the record that I pointed out that we COULD have just gotten away with the map and no trouble," Wuya huffed.

"Fine," Mozenrath told her. "It's going on the record. And later, we can go over how much you underestimated me."

"At a feast of roast Duck, I presume?" the Huntsman suggested.

That got a hearty laugh out of Mozenrath. "I love it when you talk murder to me!"

"Though Wuya's gonna be eatin' crow at that there feast," Hannibal chimed in.

"YOU'RE ON THEIR SIDE NOW?" Wuya groaned (and Draco backed her up with a significant eyeroll). "Of course you are. Just go get Snipe!"

Snipe arrived: all nine of him. Hämsterviel bounded out of the engine room as well, blaster in hand. All were assembled onstage just in time for the show, as the other players were arriving.

First, Sora and Jim sped out of the Gummi ship doors toward the light ship on skimmer and surfer. As they arrived, Mozenrath lay the bait. He transferred the map to his bare left hand, holding it aloft. "Looking for this?" he taunted.

He, the Huntsman, and Wuya all realized at the same time, the moment the sentence left his lips, that he'd been hanging out with Yzma too long. (Or maybe just long enough.)

"HEY!" Sora yelled. "YOU GIVE THAT BACK!"

"Why?" Mozenrath asked in mock simpering. "It's just a useless hunk of metal. What could possibly be so bad about me hanging onto it?"

"GIVE. IT. BACK," Jim seethed.

Mozenrath lowered his hand, guarding the map close to his chest. "I'm not going to give this up because of a little teenage angst," he taunted.

"You just said it was useless!" Sora reminded him.

"Perhaps." Mozenrath rolled the sphere around on his palm. "But now that you want it, I want to keep it just so you can't have it."

"You're up to something!" Sora accused.

"I see you're not a COMPLETE idiot," Mozenrath shot back. "But if you want the map so bad…then come and get it."

That was when the Gummi ship pulled up alongside the Vicious. The rest emptied out onto the deck, and pandemonium broke loose.

"C'MON, ME!" Snipe yelled to rally his troops of self. "LET'S BASH 'EM IN! STARTING WITH…" He settled on his target. "THAT STUPID DOG!"

All nine Snipes held up identical crystal maces.

"Wuh-oh!" Goofy cried, holding his shield up to protect himself.

He braced into the position Yen Sid had taught him, adding a little magic to the mix. The nine Snipes all hit him at once, and Goofy held firm, repelling them with his guardian shield. Goofy then pushed back, shoving the crowd of Snipes away from himself.

Sora sailed directly toward Mozenrath only to be hit with a strong force of magic that sent him sprawling across the Vicious' deck. His skimmer dissolved only to reappear in his hand as a blade. When Sora got to his feet, he looked around in a panic, crying, "WHAT WAS THAT?"

"That was real magic," Draco told him threateningly, advancing with wand drawn. "Something you wouldn't know about."

"I know real magic!" Sora countered. "Watch this!" He aimed his Keyblade at Draco; "BLIZZARD – "

"PROTEGO!"

The ice ricocheted off the Shield Charm and went wild.

"WHAT?" Sora cried.

Draco didn't slow a beat; "EXPELLIARMUS!"

The Keyblade momentarily disappeared from Sora's hand, only to shimmer back into place at Sora's will.

Now it was Draco's turn to cry out, "WHAT?"

"Looks like Keyblades are what YOU don't know about!" Sora boasted. "GRAVITY!"

Draco was thrown down to the deck by an immense force bearing down on him; a dark hemisphere spread out over his body to mark the effect of the spell. Straining against its effects, Draco turned his wand on himself; "Wingardium…leviosa!"

The levitation charm fought against the Gravity spell, holding Draco upright and an inch off the deck. His smirk turned downright malicious as he thought all the way back to his first proper duel with Harry Potter. "Tarantallegra," he declared.

Sora soon found himself caught up in a rapid dance to no music. "Wh – hey!" he cried, finding himself unable to do anything but groove to the absent rhythm, feet tapping relentlessly on the boards. "I CAN'T STOP DANCING! HELP!"

"That ought to hold you a while," Draco sneered. "Though why stop there? Now I've got you where I want you – CRUCIO."

The Cruciatus Curse was not as traumatizing for Sora as it might have been for some. He'd had his share of hard knocks before: being burned, impaled, bruised, cut and scarred. All the same, this was pure, undiluted pain unlike anything he'd received before, even from the worst of Saïx's berserker onslaughts. Sora cried out from the agony, and Draco laughed heartily at the disjoint between the distress on Sora's face and the bounciness of his dance.

Meanwhile, the Huntsman had decided to stop Jim from even getting close to the deck, taking aim and blasting at him with the huntstaff rapid-fire. Jim twisted the surfer about to evade every blow, looking for an opportunity to get down onto the deck and take on Mozenrath, but the Huntsman left him no openings. Jim clenched his teeth as he dodged again and again. If he wanted his map – Flint's map – no, Silver's map – he would have to take this guy out first. The only way to do that was to run a little risk.

Jim aimed the surfer directly at the Huntsman –

And was unprepared for the Huntsman to switch weapons. The Lasso Boa Boa wrapped around the surfer, and the Huntsman swung, bringing the surfer and Jim around with it so Jim's trajectory was thrown off. The Huntsman then reeled Jim closer with the crack of the lasso in his left hand while gearing up the huntstaff in his right for a final blow –

The sudden streak of a single plasma blast grazed past the hand holding the lasso, and the Huntsman let go in surprise; Jim shot straight up, taking the precious Shen Gong Wu with him. The Huntsman turned to glare at the source of the shot that had throw him.

"AND FOR POSTERITY," Doppler yelled, holding his blaster aloft, "I WAS, IN FACT, AIMING FOR THAT!" He then flinched and hurried back onboard the Gummi ship, hiding behind the door frame.

The Huntsman made to follow, but Jim zipped down in front of him. The map was one thing, but keeping Doppler from being slaughtered was the higher priority. "Hey, Skullface," Jim taunted. "You gonna leave a job half-finished?"

In a rage, the Huntsman resumed his barrage of fire at Jim once more, all the more fervent now that he wanted his Lasso Boa Boa back. Jim kept him shooting in circles, always one inch ahead.

Wuya stood with her back to a charging Donald, waiting for him to get close before, without even turning to look at him, she snapped her fingers, and a great fireball of green plummeted down on him from above. As she turned to admire her handiwork, she winced to see spikes of ice erupting from around Donald, neutralizing the flames.

"Don't make me go Zettaflare on you!" Donald threatened.

That gave Wuya a laugh. "Because YOU can cast a Zettaflare."

"DON'T TEST ME!"

"Please," Wuya snorted. "You'd just knock yourself out." She braced herself, bringing her arms around into a battle stance. "Like I'm about to knock myself out having fun knocking you out."

They stared at each other for a moment before Wuya admitted, "I could've worded that better."

Magic began flying fast between the two of them, back and forth at an incredible rate.

Hämsterviel bounded across the deck only to find Kazuichi skidding into place before him. "Aw, man, not again!" Kazuichi groaned. "Not the fuckin' gerbil with a gun!"

"HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO GET IT INTO YOUR THICK BUBBLE-GUM HEAD THAT I AM HAMSTER-LIKE?" Hämsterviel cried, aiming his blaster. "At least now we shall see if BOTH of your legs are artificial prostheticery!"

Kazuichi slapped his armor plate just in time, and Hämsterviel's shot bounced off his armored leg. "HA!" Kazuichi pointed proudly at the diminutive doctor. "Now it's YOUR turn to be the…whatever big word for 'idiot' you were gonna call me next!" He turned his blasters on Hämsterviel.

"Whoa!" Hämsterviel turned literal tail and scampered away.

"God dammit," Kazuichi grumbled, "I forgot hamsters are fast!" Remembering the last time he'd learned this the hard way – that being when one of Gundham's Dark Devas had bitten him, then quickly made a getaway to deny his crime – he threw in a "Stupid Gundham!" for good measure before giving chase after Hämsterviel.

Amelia faced down Hannibal, who gave her a wicked grin. "Y'know what I haven't tried in a long time?" he asked. His form shifting, he said in a now much more formal and feminine voice, "Battling someone as their duplicate."

Amelia flinched to see herself, an exact mirror reflection, staring her down. "You've got the voice wrong," she stated coolly, regaining her bearings.

"My apologies," Hannibal replied, now mimicking Amelia's tone as well. "I'd never heard you speak before. I simply made my best guess. Turns out I was right about the accent at least."

Hannibal rushed Amelia, fist swinging, and Amelia sidestepped, spinning to deliver him a kick that he promptly dodged beneath. He grasped her ankle to yank her off-balance; on the way down, she wrapped her arms about him to put him in a headlock. As they toppled to the floor together, the Monarch Wings fluttered out of Hannibal's new uniform's pant pocket.

Amelia reached out to snatch it up on instinct. "Whatever weapon this is," she spat, "I'll take it as due compensation for you accosting me." The wings went into Amelia's pocket immediately.

"That's not even going to be of any use to you!" Hannibal groaned, still mimicking Amelia's speech patterns. "I'll be wanting it BACK, thank you very much!"

He pinned her down, hands on her throat. Then they'd rolled, and she was now the one holding him to the deck, eyes wild as she squeezed his throat just hard enough to subdue.

Aladdin and Jasmine rushed to see Discord standing beside Mozenrath, both of them smirking proudly. "We just keep running into each other, don't we?" Mozenrath taunted. "To tell you the truth, I was almost starting to miss you."

"The feeling's NOT mutual," Jasmine said as she withdrew her newly acquired whip, giving it a crack.

"Haven't you learned anything from last time?" Mozenrath asked, reaching to grab the whip –

Which had actually been aimed lower than he'd thought, wrapping around his ankle and tripping him to spill ingloriously to the deck. So she had learned something after all. Mozenrath kept his grip on the map, refusing to let it roll away from him at such a pivotal moment.

"Apparently, I once used to be the Scourge of the Seven Deserts while wielding one of these," Jasmine related. "I wonder if I could have beaten you then. I KNOW I can beat you now."

"Highly unlikely," Mozenrath grunted. "I'd like you two to meet my new friend: Discord."

Aladdin did a double take as he took in the sight of Discord. "YOU!"

Discord's heart caught in his throat. Literally. It hadn't occurred to him that the last time he'd seen Aladdin, it had been enlisting his help to actively sabotage Mozenrath. He swallowed his heart back down to where it belonged, knowing he needed to shut Aladdin up and fast.

Aladdin pointed at Discord; "YOU'RE THE ONE WHO – "

Discord surged forward, planting the index finger of his claw on Aladdin's forehead.

The change was instantaneous. Aladdin lost some of his natural color, gaining dark bags beneath his eyes. To compensate, his vest darkened to black, and his pants became a deep, blood red.

Jasmine had seen this man once before, and only once: when Chaos had summoned him as a morally bereft duplicate of the real Aladdin. Gasping in horror, Jasmine cried out, "ALADDIN! NO!"

Aladdin turned to face her, his mouth breaking out into a smile that spoke of viciousness. "What's the matter, princess?" he taunted. "Afraid of me?"

He drew his sword, then rushed Jasmine, blade slicing.

With a cry, Jasmine evaded, cracking her whip to keep Aladdin at bay.

"What…did you just do?" Mozenrath asked in awe, slowly getting to his feet.

"Just a little trick I like to bring out at parties," Discord said flippantly, now convinced the danger of his secret being revealed was past. "Whatever the victim WAS, they are now the OPPOSITE."

"The noble, courageous, and clever Aladdin reduced to a malicious, sadistic butcher," Mozenrath observed, almost moved to laugh again. "You know, this makes up for the laser tag stunt and then some."

"ALADDIN, PLEASE DON'T DO THIS!" Jasmine cried in vain as she sidestepped another one of Aladdin's sword-strokes. "SNAP OUT OF IT! I DON'T WANT TO HURT YOU!"

"Well, too bad," Aladdin replied smugly, "because I wanna hurt YOU!"

"Oh, lovers." Mozenrath clasped his hands beside his head. "So tragic to see them pitted against one another. I thought I would want to kill both of them…but really, watching one of them take the other out is going to be so much more satisfying!"

"And whichever one is left," Discord proposed, "you'll get the honors of doing in yourself. Spoilers: it's going to be Aladdin."

Mozenrath's laugh echoed across the deck of the Vicious, and Discord's wild cackle soon harmonized with it.

Across the deck, Sora saw these events transpire, and he too cried out, "NO!"

All nine Snipes had circled up around Goofy by then, and Goofy responded the most logical way he knew how: a tornado-style attack, spinning round and round with shield held outward so its edge would slice at the Snipes. He managed to slam into each of them in turn at just the right angle so the nine identical maces were flung up out of their hands, one by one.

When Goofy collided with Snipe Prime, however, he managed to hit the man's hands in just the right way that the mace was not the only thing that went flying. The Ring of the Nine Dragons was forced off Snipe's finger, and it hit the planks behind him with an audible plink.

Immediately, eight of the Snipes vanished.

"NOOOO!" Snipe bemoaned, grasping the hand that had lost the ring with the other. "MY RING OF THE NINE DRAGONS!"

"You were usin' that ring to duplicate yourself, weren't ya?" Goofy realized.

They looked to each other. Then they looked to the fallen ring.

Then both pounced.

Snipe and Goofy's arms stretched out across the deck at the same time, and as Snipe seized half of the ring between his thumb and forefinger, Goofy grasped the other half in the same fashion. Snipe quickly stood up, ring in hand; Goofy refused to relinquish his grip, and so was lifted right up off the deck, dangling. Snipe shook the ring hard to get Goofy to let go, but all he succeeded in doing was drawing a long and comical yell of "WHAAAAoooohAAAAhoooHAAAAAOOW!" from the knight.

"Hey, wait a minute!" Snipe realized. "This is a Shen Gong Wu!" He smacked his forehead with his free hand. "I'm not an idiot! I know what to do!" After all, had Wuya not explained this to him when she'd gotten back from acquiring these objects in the first place? "I CHALLENGE YOU TO A XIAOLIN SHOWDOWN!"

The bright light that radiated outward from the ring caught the attention of everyone on the deck, drawing their gazes to the ring. Hannibal and Amelia froze mid-brawl. Hämsterviel halted in his tracks, and Kazuichi stopped chasing him. Sora's jinxes had worn off, and he panted slightly as he observed. Draco's eye was drawn as well. The Huntsman flinched; Jim looked on from above. Donald's jaw dropped with a "Wak!". Discord and Mozenrath looked on in horror, both certain that somehow, Snipe had just been their undoing. Even Aladdin and Jasmine were held up from their duel.

"SNIPE!" Wuya hissed. "WHAT DID YOU DO?"

"The SMART thing for once!" Snipe boasted. "I'm gonna get my ring back!"

"By winnin' a…Xiaolin Showdown?" Goofy asked.

"Yeah!" Snipe replied. "That means WE get to pick a contest, and if we beat you at it, then I get my ring back!"

"SNIPE!" Wuya yelled in horror. "DON'T TELL HIM HOW IT WORKS!"

"What?" Snipe shrugged, taking Goofy slightly up and down with him. "It's not like I told him they can use Shen Gong Wu to wager to get OUR Shen Gong Wu."

Wuya facepalmed. Mozenrath facepalmed. Discord facepalmed. One by one, Hämsterviel, Draco, and Hannibal followed suit.

"Shen Gong Wu, is it?" Amelia asked, withdrawing the Monarch Wings from her pocket. "Would THIS happen to be a Shen Gong Wu?"

"Or how about this?" Jim asked slyly, holding up the Lasso Boa Boa.

"NO!" cried everyone but Snipe.

"YEAH!" cried Snipe.

"Then we'll make that wager!" Goofy declared, still holding onto the Ring of the Nine Dragons.

"YEAH!" Sora cried, swinging his fist – which hurt his arm after so much Cruciatus, but Sora always had been able to soak up hurt like a sponge, physical included. "We'll bet Jim's snake thing – "

"The Lasso Boa Boa?" Hannibal corrected dryly.

"We'll bet that," Sora said, "against…"

Don't say the Moby Morpher, Hannibal thought desperately. Don't say the Moby Morpher –

"ALADDIN!" Sora finished.

"Huh?" Snipe was confused, which was really nothing new.

"If you win the contest," Sora laid out, "you get your Lasso Boa Boa back! But if WE win, then you let us have Aladdin back!"

Mozenrath pondered that wording, then decided, "Done."

"And for the butterfly wings…" Sora deliberated.

"Flint's map," Jim broke in. "If we win, you give us Flint's map. If you win, you keep it, and you get your wings."

"Can they even make such an outrageous wager?" Hämsterviel asked. "After all, the mesmerized man-at-arms and the metallic map are NOT Shen Gong Wu! It is illegal! …Is it?"

Wuya had only just now realized the Monarch Wings had traded hands. "This is normally the part where Dojo would pull the official Showdown rulebook out of some orifice and bring up some obscure by-law that makes this legal," she sighed, "but I just want my Monarch Wings back, so I say it goes."

"Somebody gotta name the game," Hannibal pointed out.

"Something that a well-trained legion of sorcerers, mages, and monsters would excel at," Mozenrath suggested, "but the common people would find challenging."

"QUIDDITCH!"

The unfamiliar word was cried loudly, now putting all eyes on Draco Malfoy. "The name of the game is 'Quidditch,'" he said confidently, eyes sparkling.

Once the contest had been called, the world shifted.

The Vicious disappeared completely, as did the Gummi ship and all of the debris that had once comprised Treasure Planet. Stars and nebulae were still visible in the distance, but they seemed to be at an altogether different arrangement than they had been previously. There was only empty space above, below, and to all sides, barring a few landmarks. A ring of bright blue light marked out the borders of an elliptical arena in the midst of this space, exactly five hundred feet long and one hundred and eighty feet wide. Bleachers lined either side of this arena, curving around to fit its shape. At each of the far ends, three hoops on posts hovered in mid-Etherium.

At the center of this setup, Mozenrath, Discord, the chaos-turned Aladdin, Wuya, the Huntsman, Hannibal, Hämsterviel, Snipe, and Draco were lined up. All were now situated atop broomsticks that kept them afloat in the abyss. Hannibal, once more bean-shaped, morphed himself a set of under-tendrils in order to better hang onto his mount. Though normally, those lacking magic could not steer a broomstick, the rules of the Showdown allowed Aladdin and Snipe to keep their crafts afloat.

Facing them down were Jasmine, Kazuichi, Donald, Goofy, Amelia, and Doppler, all on their own brooms. At one end of the line was Sora, riding not a broom but his red Keyblade skimmer. At the other was Jim, perched upon the solar surfer he had worked on with Kazuichi.

"I already don't like this," Kazuichi sighed.

Between the two rows of competitors, four spherical objects appeared: a large red leather ball reminiscent of a British football; two smaller balls, made of solid iron and painted pitch black; and, inexplicably, Flint's map.

"DON'T TELL THEM HOW TO PLAY THE GAME!" Mozenrath yelled desperately at Snipe.

"OKAY, OKAY!" Snipe snapped back. "I WON'T! GEEZ!"

It then dawned on the WHAM ARMY competitors that none of them actually knew how to play this game.

"I suppose it's up to me to explain," Draco sighed, "and THEY'LL have to hear it too. A Quidditch team has seven players. That red ball's the Quaffle. Three Chasers on the team have to get it through the other team's goal. It's ten points for every goal scored with the Quaffle."

"Chaser?" Sora repeated. "That sounds kinda fun, actually. I wanna do that!"

"I'll take up the role as well," Amelia volunteered.

"Me too," Jasmine agreed.

"That sounds like my position," Wuya stated.

"Might as well," Hannibal stated.

"Then so shall I," the Huntsman said.

"Awww, but I wanted to be a Chaser!" Snipe groaned.

"I'd be a better Chaser than any of THEM," Aladdin huffed.

"Now, hold on, you two," Draco said slyly, "because there's a special role for you. Those two iron balls are the Bludgers. Two Beaters have to knock them into the Chasers and pummel them senseless. Or, on this field, drop them right off their brooms into the abyss."

"Huh?" Snipe replied.

"HIT THE BLACK BALL AS HARD AS YOU CAN TO HURT PEOPLE," Draco said loudly and slowly.

Snipe began to laugh. "Now, THAT I wanna do!"

"Hurt people?" Aladdin smirked. "That sounds like my kind of game."

"I'm almost going to regret having to kill you," Mozenrath sighed.

"I'm gonna Bludger the stuffing out of 'em!" Donald declared.

"Anyone else wanna be the second Beater?" Sora asked.

Nobody spoke up. The prospect sounded too violent to be truly appealing.

"We'll come back to that," Sora decided.

"Then there's the Keeper," Draco went on. "The Keeper guards the goals and stops the Quaffle from getting in at any cost."

"I'LL DO IT!" Discord yelled immediately, obviously having been waiting for that position to be announced.

"Now, that sounds a lot like usin' m'shield!" Goofy realized. "I'll do that!"

"Go, Goofy!" Sora cried.

"If I may," Doppler broke in, "I've worked out the math, and that leaves me, Jim, and Kazuichi as the last remaining. One of us will have to sit out, and given Mr. Soda's history with flying on fast-moving objects…"

"Yeah, I'm gonna pass," Kazuichi groaned.

In an instant, he was transported to the bleachers. "Nice!" he cried, settling back on the surprisingly comfortable seats.

"What's the seventh position?" Sora asked, knowing it would decide where to assign Jim and where to assign Doppler.

Draco smirked. Here, he could keep a little secret. "The last position's Seeker," he explained. "It's a worthless position, really. The Seeker flies around the field and acts the referee. You've got to watch everything that everyone else does and decide if it's fair or foul. I'll be playing Seeker, to spare any of you the boredom of doing it."

"If the Seeker is a worthless position," Doppler piped up, "then I may as well. After all, I'm no good at athletics, really – "

"No," Jim stated as he stared Draco down. "I'LL play Seeker. Dr. Doppler, you can be the other Beater."

"You seem very certain of this, Jim," Doppler stated.

Jim didn't want to call Draco's bluff just yet, but he could tell that the young man was lying in some fashion. He wasn't as good at hiding it as Silver had been at covering up lies. Jim realized that the expression on Draco's face was the exact one he used to make to Sarah when trying to tell her that he hadn't done anything illegal on a particular day when, in fact, he had, and he hadn't yet been caught. Furthermore, there was the issue of Flint's map. It was hovering beside the other balls as though it were part of the game, and yet Draco hadn't acknowledged it. It had to be related to the Seeker position somehow. "Positive," Jim asserted.

Draco knew Jim was catching on, and so fired Jim a venomous glare. The young man had far too much Potter in him for his own good, Draco thought. It was there in his attitude and his general bearing. The fact that Jim replied with a knowing smile only confirmed the connection.

"So…when is the game over?" Sora asked.

"You'll know when it's over," Draco stated, still not taking his eyes off Jim.

Hämsterviel and Mozenrath were instantly transported to the bleachers, and Mozenrath had to admit this was preferable to the alternative; he knew, deep down, that he wasn't athletically gifted, and was in no mood to show that off. Hämsterviel was too small to actually be able to handle any of the balls involved, and so that was a benefit. The two of them decided to take the moment to kick back, let their allies pull the weight, and simply relax –

"Hey, fuck you."

Except Kazuichi was still there, several feet away on the same row of seats.

"My friends are gonna kick your friends' asses," Kazuichi asserted. "I'm on the side of hope now, and we're the hope!"

"Did I ask for commentary?" Mozenrath groaned. "I'm in a generous mood, so I'll offer you a deal. You stop talking to me and anyone I'm associated with, and I won't make your skull implode."

Kazuichi flushed and faced forward, silent as the grave.

"Much better," Mozenrath sighed.

Above the bleachers on the opposite side, two giant numbers "0" lit up in striking gold, standing against the darkness of the Etherium. Discord and Goofy made their way to hover before their respective goal posts. Doppler and Aladdin received nondescript clubs while Snipe and Donald received their mace and staff respectively. Flint's map disappeared in a shimmer. The Quaffle rose up into the air of its own accord, and then as it fell, the two Bludgers rocketed out to either side of the field, beginning their ricochet. The Quaffle fell, and the game began.

Now is as good of a time as any to delve into the fineries of How to Play Quidditch! Most of the rules, of course, have already been explained by WHAM ARMY Seeker Draco Malfoy, but all the same, Quidditch is a game of nuance and skill! It takes a team that works like a well-oiled machine in order to play properly! Moreover, Quidditch is a game of rules. The best players adhere to the strictest of protocol, right down to avoiding illegal use of elbows!

Chasers must be agile and speedy. Beaters must be strong. Keepers must be stoic and focused!

"Keeper?" Goofy chuckled. "That's me!"

And most of all, the Seeker must be vigilant, for their role is the most important of them all!

Sora looked over his shoulder to see Goofy waving at no one and talking to no one. "Is he okay?" he asked Donald.

"Aw, he always gets like this whenever he learns a new sport!" Donald dismissed.

That was exactly the distraction Wuya needed to seize the Quaffle and take off with it.

Chasers in particular must work off each other to form a solid play. No one Chaser can be expected to carry the entire team. A good trio of Chasers will work in unison to create strategic plays.

"WUYA!" Hannibal cried from a spot near the goal posts, waving a tendril. "I'M OPEN!"

"NO!" Wuya yelled. "This is MY shot!"

A Chaser's sole goal is, of course, to carry the Quaffle to the specified goal post. Violence is for the Beaters, after all!

As Amelia pulled in front of Wuya to attempt to intercept the Quaffle, or at least force her to pass, the Huntsman body-slammed her aside, clearing Wuya's path.

Of course, though Quidditch is a game designed for wizards, witches, and mages of all genders, magic is prohibited in use during play for anything other than to levitate the broomstick.

Wuya drew the Quaffle back as she neared the goal post, filling it up with her own special brand of energy. When she launched it, it rocketed like a comet, smacking right into Goofy and plowing him clean through the goal hoop with an "EHHH-HOO-HOO-HOOOEEEEEE!"

The right-hand "0" became a brilliant golden "10."

No, not even a magic wand is permitted for Quidditch play, let alone any other personal implement.

When Goofy finally returned from the mile and a half he'd been smacked by Wuya's shot, he declared, "Well, if she's gonna cheat by usin' magic, then I'm gonna use my shield!" He then summoned the round shield up, holding it at the ready before throwing the Quaffle back out into play.

The Beater must be an objective player. Although their position requires them to use violence, it must be done with the goal of hindering the opposing team. Acting upon a personal grudge will sour the Beater's performance.

Jasmine raced the Quaffle over to the WHAM ARMY goal, where Discord was picking beneath his paw's nails with the points of his claw. A Bludger suddenly collided with her, hard. Then the second one followed. Jasmine went spinning, rolling over and over in midair, the Quaffle dropped. Luckily, Amelia had been shadowing her, and rushed below her to seize the red ball.

As Jasmine steadied herself, she looked up to the source of the Bludgers to see the chaos-filled Aladdin laughing at her. "This is why they shouldn't let PRINCESSES play sports!" he guffawed.

"I am getting very tired of Chaos Aladdin," Jasmine grumbled to herself before speeding after the Quaffle.

A skillful shot taken with the Quaffle will require the perfect pitch of the Chaser's hand; only off the flick of the wrist can the ball properly sail toward its goal.

Amelia passed the Quaffle around the Huntsman back to Jasmine, who then went high and dropped it toward Sora. Sora, lined up before the goal posts, leapt off his skimmer, did a backflip in mid-Etherium, kicked the Quaffle hard, and sent it rocketing toward the hoop.

"Thanks for teaching me that one, Tidus!" he muttered.

Using magic to impede a legal goal, of course, is strictly forbidden.

Discord didn't move an inch as the Quaffle sailed right past him toward the hoop. However, at the last second, a rubbery spider web suddenly stretched over the hoop, catching the ball and throwing it back out onto the field, thereby nullifying the goal.

"Oh, did I do that?" Discord asked teasingly.

"No fair!" Sora yelled as the Huntsman swept up the Quaffle. "How are we supposed to score if you use magic to stop the Quaffle?"

"You're not!" Discord cried mirthfully. "That's the point!"

Always remember that your teammates are not your competitors. This goes for if you are a Chaser or a Beater.

The Huntsman launched the Quaffle toward Hannibal, but Wuya intercepted the pass.

"YOU ARE ON OUR TEAM!" the Huntsman barked.

"No," Wuya told him, "all of YOU are on MY team!"

A Bludger whacked into her head, causing her to lose grip on the Quaffle, which Hannibal immediately seized.

"SNIPE!" Wuya yelled, glowering at the source of the rogue Bludger.

"You were the only person in range to hit!" Snipe moaned.

"Then maybe you SHOULDN'T HIT ANYONE!" Wuya chastised.

The Quaffle was pitched, but it bounced right off Goofy's shield. "I think I like playin' Keeper!" he remarked joyfully. "COME ON, SORA! YOU CAN DO IT!"

Sora had picked up the Quaffle and was racing back toward the opposing goal.

Playing the position of Beater requires a disposition that maintains balance. After all, the Beater cannot be too meek or unwilling to cause a slight amount of harm, else they may as well not be playing the position.

A Bludger zoomed right past Doppler, and he let it go. When Wuya ended up with the Quaffle again, Amelia called out, "YOU COULD HAVE STOPPED HER WITH THAT BLUDGER, LOVE!"

"I CAN'T!" Doppler protested. "I'M A DOCTOR, NOT A PERPETUATOR OF VIOLENCE!"

At the same time, a Beater cannot be too easily given over to rage.

Though Goofy was a strong Keeper, he was not infallible, and the WHAM ARMY managed to rack up fifty points before Sora's team could even score a single goal – mostly because Discord kept finding new ways to block the goal hoops, up to and including having them spontaneously deflate. Now, however, Discord was bored of messing with the hoops, and wanted to play with something else. The Bludgers were already a source of chaos on the field, so he figured it would be ten times as fun to make ten times as many Bludgers.

Sora, Amelia, and Jasmine now found themselves darting in between twenty of the iron balls.

"Whaaaat?" Donald said in dismay. "That's cheating! Why, I oughta – "

That was when one of the Bludgers beaned him in the back of the neck very painfully.

Yes, a Beater must maintain composure under absolutely –

"WAHAHAHAHAAAAAAK!" Donald raged as he zoomed from edge to edge of the field, a comet trail of fire shooting back from his broom as he whacked each Bludger at least once within a five-minute span. Wuya, the Huntsman, and Hannibal were now pelted by the very implements Discord had intended to help them.

…absolutely every circumstance.

"Hmm," Discord mused. "See, that's the amount of chaos I was going for with the Bludgers, but I was hoping that at least sixty percent of it would be harmful to the OPPOSITE team. Now, what can I do that would be both fun AND helpful?" He snapped his fingers. "I KNOW! Why have THREE goal posts when you can have THIRTY?"

Goofy's end of the field was suddenly lined with twenty-seven more goal hoops than he'd started with. "Wuh-oh!" he cried. "That ain't gonna be easy to guard!"

"And if the rule is one Quaffle per three hoops…" Discord went on.

Nine more Quaffles dropped from the sky, and Wuya, the Huntsman, and Hannibal pounced while Snipe and Aladdin kept Sora, Amelia, and Jasmine at bay with the hail of Bludgers. Doppler still couldn't bring himself to even hit a single Bludger, afraid of causing a friendly fire. Donald was still going on raw adrenaline and rage, but Wuya was getting smart to his game, redirecting the Bludgers with her magic.

A Keeper must be ready for anything! This is, after all, a wizarding game! The Keeper must remain unflappable at all times!

Goofy screamed at the top of his lungs as he raced back and forth to protect all thirty goal posts. He was not entirely successful.

Finally, there is the position of the Seeker: the most important position in the game of Quidditch. The job of the Seeker is to capture the Golden Snitch: a tiny ball that is released into the game at a random interval and takes a quick course around the field. Once the Seeker captures the Snitch, the game ends, but furthermore, one hundred and fifty points are added to the score of the Seeker's team!

"Wait a minute!" Goofy cried, pausing his redirection of the onslaught. "That ain't what the one guy said at all! Somebody better tell Jim!"

Why, Jim has already figured it out!

"Oh," Goofy remarked. "Well, that's okay, then!"

Jim had been watching Draco for the entirety of the game, using the others' brawling as a cover to keep him out of sight. Draco wasn't watching the players at all, but coursing the arena as though he were looking for something. Jim spotted it at the same time Draco did: Flint's map, standing in for the Golden Snitch, zooming across the field of play. Draco immediately took after it.

That must be the real purpose of the Seeker, Jim realized. To catch that ball. Well, he had wanted to get his hands on Silver's map from the start.

He steered the surfer after the careening map.

Draco soon knew that Jim knew what he knew, and realizing that he had competition, Draco took it into his hands to eliminate it. He twisted back over his shoulder to look at Jim, who was gaining ground. Out came his wand, and with a flick, Draco cast yet another Unforgivable Curse: "Imperio!"

Jim's surfer went dead in the air as its rider stopped steering it.

Draco resumed his focus on the map, now believing he had all the time in the world to capture it.

"Oh, holy shit," Kazuichi muttered as he twisted the brim of his hat, watching the tally point for the WHAM ARMY rise up as his own team's remained at 0.

100. 110. 120…

"Holy shit, holy shit, holy shiiiiiit…" Kazuichi whimpered.

"And Wuya thought I had something to be worried about," Mozenrath said smugly as he kicked one leg up to rest over the other, reclining back.

Inside Jim's head, a voice that spoke in concept rather than audio resounded through him, telling him, "Stay put. Stay where you are. Leave the Snitch alone. Leave everything in this game alone."

The problem was that there wasn't a worse person Draco could have chosen to cast the Imperius Curse on.

Ever since Leland Hawkins had walked out on his wife and son for parts unknown, Jim had developed a distaste for anyone who attempted to act with any sort of authority for him, in no small part because his father had once been a primary authority in his life and had let him down so horribly. Therefore, ever since that day, whenever he'd been commanded to do something, he would either ask why or refuse to do it.

His teachers couldn't get him to fall in line. The police couldn't get him to fall in line. His own mother couldn't get him to fall in line. Rules, regulations, and laws were all but meaningless to him.

The voice generated by the Imperius Curse was designed to sound as if it were coming from within Jim's own mind. But Jim, during his rebellious phase, had even hated himself enough to double back on anything he thought he should do.

So when the curse told Jim to stay put and leave well enough alone, he fought back, and he fought back hard, because as much as it felt like what he should do in that moment, he knew it wasn't really what he wanted to do.

By the time he got his bearings back, Jim realized he was far behind Draco, and Draco was only a few feet away from capturing the map. Jim kicked the surfer back into gear, but it wasn't going to be enough to overtake Draco.

He was worried for a split second before remembering that in fact, he could surpass Draco by miles if he wanted to.

Draco closed in on the map, reaching out to seize it.

Jim's heel slammed the hyperdrive pedal.

The surfer shot forward in a blink, zipping Jim past Draco. The map vanished. When Draco got his bearings, he realized where it was: in the hands of Jim Hawkins, who floated before him with a smug grin.

"NO!" Draco cried.

Immediately, fireworks erupted across the entire field, and it took everyone a moment to realize Discord wasn't doing it (as well as Discord having to literally yell "I'M NOT DOING THAT!"). All eyes turned up to where the score for Sora's team had jumped immediately to 150, the number enlarging before everyone's eyes.

The WHAM ARMY score, at the time, was 140.

The spectators all realized that the game was over. Kazuichi leapt up out of his seat, leaping and hollering at the top of his lungs.

"SHUT UP!" Mozenrath and Hämsterviel yelled at him in unison.

In a rush of sparkling light, all were returned to the deck of the Vicious. The WHAM ARMY was lined up standing on one side and gaping angrily while the heroes who had opposed them faced them, their backs to their parked Gummi ship. Jim still held Flint's map as well as the Lasso Boa Boa, Amelia examined the Monarch Wings in her hands, and Aladdin stood by Sora's side, bound by golden chains and squirming against them.

Upon realizing Aladdin was still under the effects of the chaos, Jasmine demanded, "Change him back."

That was what broke the spell of sore losing on Mozenrath. Where everyone expected him to break down, he broke out into a smile, knowing he had one last trick to play before his foes got out of dodge.

"No," he stated. "I don't think I will."

"WHAT?" Jasmine snapped.

"You said!" Sora argued.

"I said if you won," Mozenrath clarified, "you could take Aladdin WITH you. I never said we'd turn him back to his aggravating normal self."

"WHY YOUUUUU…" Donald growled.

"We'd best depart," Amelia suggested. "Sticking around here will only make us easier targets for them, now the match has been won."

"I'm sure we can find a way to save Aladdin later!" Goofy remarked.

Donald and Amelia took the initiative to seize Aladdin, escorting him back onto the ship as he yelled, "LET ME GO, YOU TWO-DENARII SON-OF-A-JACKAL WANNABE HEROES!" Jasmine, Sora, Goofy, Doppler, and Jim hurriedly followed suit before the WHAM ARMY could get any more ideas.

The Gummi ship rocketed away.

"WE COULD HAVE JUST GONE HOME!" Wuya screamed. "WE HAD THE MAP AND WE COULD HAVE GONE HOME! BUT YOU HAD TO TRY AND MURDER THE ONE ARCHNEMESIS YOU CAN NEVER MANAGE TO KILL, DIDN'T YOU?"

"Hämsterviel," Mozenrath said coldly, "all power to the engines. Huntsman, follow that ship."

The Huntsman trusted that Mozenrath had a plan, nodding and returning to the helm.

"You're…not pitching a temper tantrum," Wuya realized. "Why aren't you pitching a temper tantrum? Why am I the one pitching a temper tantrum?"

"Because the game isn't over," Mozenrath told her. "It would have been if we played by the rules. But we just don't do that, now, do we?"

The Vicious took off full speed after the Gummi ship, pursuing it through the path carved out in Treasure Planet's debris. Since those aboard the Gummi ship had felt they'd completed their mission, they jumped offworld entirely, entering interspace in an attempt to quickly circumvent Mozenrath and re-enter the world atmosphere nearer Montressor.

Mozenrath flicked his hand at the deck below. The entire Vicious shimmered a translucent blue before making the exact same leap.

Those aboard neither ship thought to look back behind them as they departed. Why would they? There was no reason for them to. Still, it might have saved the crew of one of those vessels some trouble if they had.

The Vicious careened after the Gummi ship through the bright colors of interspace, keeping pace, then catching up. Mozenrath wondered briefly if anyone aboard had yet noticed that the WHAM ARMY had followed.

"Discord," he commanded, "go ahead and take the gloves off. No games. No tricks. Just get rid of them."

"I thought YOU wanted the final blow on Aladdin," Discord told him.

Mozenrath sighed, then pouted. "Sacrifices have to be made."

"Actually, I think we can both win here." Discord waved toward the Gummi ship, and suddenly, an enormous blue target was lit up on it, pulsating. "That is a mine," he stated. "It has enough force to blow that ship to smithereens! All it needs is one tiny magical catalyst."

Mozenrath's mood brightened immediately. "I knew there was a reason to keep you around."

He held his hand out toward the Gummi ship, letting a single bolt of energy loose.

It struck the target's bullseye, and the Gummi ship was forcibly ripped apart before anyone had time to even process. Its many-colored bricks floated through interspace, some of them lightly colliding with the Vicious' hull.

"He's actually done it," the Huntsman breathed.

"Serves that smug one right," Draco muttered, thinking of Jim.

Mozenrath, recalling a spell Draco had used only a short time ago, turned his hand over, palm upward. "Accio."

Flint's map floated gently out of the wreckage, landing in Mozenrath's hand. He curled his fingers around it, remarking, "Now, that's what I call an underdog victory."

"I hate to break it to you," Wuya said from behind him, "but I don't see a single corpse."

"Meaning they got incinerated in the blast," Mozenrath said sharply, if only to convince himself.

"You know they're not dead either," Wuya grunted.

"WUYA!" Mozenrath yelled, rounding on her. "WHY CAN'T YOU LET ME REVEL FOR ONE MINUTE? MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, ALL OF OUR ENEMIES ACTUALLY ARE DEAD THIS TIME! AT LEAST LET ME BELIEVE THAT UNTIL THE NEXT TIME ONE OF THEM SHOWS UP!"

"I'm just being a realist here," Wuya said dryly. She then held out her own hand; "Accio."

Nothing happened.

"My wings," she stated, not at all surprised. "Wherever they've gone, they took my Monarch Wings."

"And my Ring of the Nine Dragoooooons!" Snipe groaned

"I think we should focus on what's important here," Hannibal broke in. "That bein' that I still got my Moby Morpher."

"EXCUSE YOU!" Wuya snapped.

Mozenrath left them all down below to have it out verbally while he ascended to the helm to stand by the Huntsman. "Take us home," he demanded.

"At once," the Huntsman replied. "And might I say I think you have every reason to revel?"

Mozenrath smiled at him. The Huntsman's face tilted toward Mozenrath in return, and though the balaclava and helmet obscured his expression, Mozenrath knew what it was all the same.

The Vicious shot through interspace, making a course for the Cyclonian warship.

When the pair of ships had left the wreckage of Treasure Planet, what nobody had noticed was a third craft entering the debris field. Both the captain and the crew's right-hand had observed the departing ships, unsure at first what to make of it.

It was a secondary concern, they decided. They had come for the map of Nathaniel Flint, and that was what they would focus on.

Yet as the ship traveled here and there among the debris field, it soon became clear that the map was nowhere to be found. And when, thinking on the sight of the two departing ships, the captain and right-hand realized where the map must be, they were nothing short of livid.