Bella

Edward fell asleep as I was talking to him. The painkillers must've been strong, he was showing me dinner options on his phone and nodded off as I began swiping through the pictures on his phone. He snored once before settling into slumber. I cracked a smile at that, clicked his phone off and set his phone down beside him.

I watched him as he slept. With his eyes closed and his facial features relaxed, he looked like a perfect impression of Antinous from my history lesson, a young boy gracefully resting.

With all of the day's events still flashing through my mind, was reminded once again of his fragility as a human as I stared at his bandaged hand, his bandaged ribs under his hospital gown.

You nearly killed him Bella.

I felt extremely obliged to him. Whether he was concerned or not, I knew I needed to stop pretending to be what I wasn't. I couldn't have a friendship with him, let alone any future with him.

As much as I admired his transparency and frankness through even the most difficult situations, I knew whatever relationship we had was temporary. I found myself biting down on my lip at that thought.

I figured my distress was because I knew I'd have to avoid Edward all over again. I watched as his eyes began to move in his sleep behind his lavender eyelids.

I wonder what he is dreaming of.

"No, not the sea monkeys," I heard him mumble.

He's a sleep talker? I stifled my snicker with a hand, I didn't want to wake him. On the other hand, I wanted to see where this was going. He hummed in his unconsciousness and seemed to settle into a deeper sleep. After a great length of silence, I was left disappointed. I stood up from my seat slowly to ensure silence, and was walking soundlessly to the door.

I need to go steal those X-rays...

"Bella," I heard Edward say distinctly.

I must've woken him up. I turned around, about to ask what he needed from me. I was surprised to see he was still sound asleep.

Did he say my name in his sleep?

His eyebrows pulled together in a distraught look, and he mumbled,

"Bella, don't go." His eyelids flickered in his sleep as he watched a dream unfold behind them.

What were you dreaming about, Edward? I couldn't help but wonder if he was thinking of me.

I took this opportunity to leave him, and to change back into my clothing which was left in a bag by the door for me. I looked at the shirt with the ripped buttons in disdain. I'll have to go steal a new uniform before school begins tomorrow. I thought with dismay.

Edward was discharged within an hour, and shortly after, he drove to a small diner on the outskirts of forks. He held the door open for me even as he winced and we were welcomed into a dimly lit diner.

The stained glass windows offered a vintage and rather private feel that I could appreciate. I found myself staring mindlessly at the random patterns in the colorful window panes. Out of my peripheral vision, Edward was staring at my face; he looked perturbed. I arched a brow at him. His eyes flickered, searching mine.

"Do you wear contacts Bella?"

"No, my vision is great." He didn't ask again.

The waitress, a busty girl, asked in an annoyingly chirpy voice if she could take our order. Assessment was easy. 5'2, 140 lbs. I was relieved to know she posed no threat to me. I noticed that her button down was unbuttoned far more than necessary for comfort, and she was leaning against the table toward Edward with her arms pushing her breasts together.

Was this some sort of mating ritual I wasn't taught at VOLT? Do all people do this?

I looked down at the uniform button up I'd borrowed from Edward. He told me to keep it, I was relieved by that. Though it was oversized, it'd still work as a replacement for my ripped shirt.

I'd rolled up the sleeves because they were too long on my body, but I'd buttoned every button except the very top one. It was quite uncomfortable otherwise. But was I doing it wrong?

What are the protocols to this kind of thing?

"Bella?" His soft breath sent the fire aflame in my throat. Edward must've noticed my apprehension. He looked at me charmingly, his eyes crinkled on the edges. "Get whatever you want." he murmured reassuringly, his voice was the same honey tone he had used before. I cleared my throat, I looked down at the menu and pointed to the first thing I saw.

"Could I, uhh, have the mushroom ravioli, please?" Edward ordered steak, without even looking up at the waitress.

He was smiling at me as she left.

"She was checking you out, you know?" I tilted my head towards the waitress, prompting him at a chance for a mundane lifestyle, with a normal girl who was incredibly interested in him.

"I doubt it," he said dismissing the matter with a wave of his hand. "I have what I want in front of me." His eyes looked hazel in the candle light as they pierced into mine. I felt my cheeks blaze red hot.

Did he actually mean that?

His soft chuckle broke the silence. "Never thought our first date would go like this huh? Me asking you to dinner in exchange for your life." Despite my trepidation for the matter that had gone still unaddressed, I offered him a dry laugh. My smile faded as I took a deep breath in.

"Edward..." I looked at him dead in the eyes. He seemed to have caught the change in my tone. "Edward, what you did earlier... you said you knew I was anemic." His face gave away nothing, and he prompted an eyebrow up for me to continue.

Be nice, Bella... let him down gently.

"Edward. I know you're not stupid." I said softly, I couldn't seem to find my voice within the fear that coursed through me.

Fear that he might push me away?

"What are you trying to say, Bella?" He asked me conscientiously. I sighed.

Here it goes.

"I need you to be truthful and tell me everything you know about me." I stated flatly. He looked upset at my request.

"Why now Bella? Any time I'd try to ask about you before—" a surge of anger coursed through me.

"Yes, I shot you down." I gritted between my teeth, suddenly feeling flames engulf me. I forced the tremors to stop quaking within me as I managed to spit out, "That was before you tried to give your life for me. I need to know who you did it for, and I need to know why. Tell me what you know, now."

It's over.

We can't keep pretending we were brought together by something prolific, a mutual interest we have in common or otherwise.

We were brought together because you were in the wrong place at the wrong time.

We have no place in each other's lives.

Tell me the information you owe me, and we'll go on our separate ways.

Edward

Despite the fact she was making no physical contact with me, I knew this was a threat, an interrogation. If I ran, she would catch me. If I lied she would somehow be able to sense it.

I also sensed she was intentionally pushing away. But for what reason?

What on earth did these VOLT people do to her that made her guarded to such a high degree, paranoid in every single way?

I scrubbed my hands with my face, not knowing where to begin, yet desperately needing to tell her the truth.

Bella

"Bella... I did it for you. I mean that. You were malnourished and I was just trying to help. It's that simple—I'm not selling information, or-or working for someone else, if that's what you think." He sounded upset. He visibly composed himself before he repeated softly. "I did it for you."

Liar. He has to be.

"Malnourished?" I tsked under my breath. A smile that didn't quite touch my eyes curved up. What was it going to take to convince him I knew? "Any human wouldn't even think to save someone starved from food with blood--it wouldn't even cross their mind. I'll only ask one more time. How did you know?"

Edward.

She caught me in my white lie. She knew I knew. My hands suddenly felt too clammy for comfort and I decided to fold them under the table.

"I have a theory," I said weakly. She waved a hand for me to continue.

"I've considered radioactive spiders and kryptonite?" I told her softly, hoping to lighten the mood.

"That's all superhero stuff, right?" She asked, not quite as angry as before. "What if I'm not the hero? What if I'm... the bad guy?" Shit. How was I to respond to this. The dreams of her covered in blood flashed through my head, her drowning me in the metallic crimson sea.

No... I know you're better than that Bella, that's not you, not your nature.

You're not the bad guy. You're not the monster you think you are.

"Say it." She said, more evenly than I thought she would. Her usual fire had tempered down to a soft ember, but even in the dim lighting of the restaurant, her dark eyes were still so vibrant, still glinting so beautifully in the candle light. "Say it out loud."

"I know you're not human. Not entirely anyways." I breathed with barely any air left in me. I couldn't bring myself to say the word.

Vampire.

I could hardly believe what I was thinking. I half expected her to begin laughing in my face, telling me I was being pranked. Instead, Bella's face was like stone, her now burgundy colored eyes narrowed a bit as she looked down to her interlaced hands. She neither confirmed or denied, but her silence was all I needed to know.

My heart raced like a hummingbird that was entrapped in my chest at my instinct for what was foreboding.

Calm yourself Edward. Everything about her is made to entice you, and she can probably hear your erratic heart rate, too...

"You recovered at rapid speeds with blood..." I continued, almost in a trance. Everything about Bella flashed before my eyes. Her long and graceful hands. The way her body sprung back to life after I gave her my wrist. "Your body is as cold as ice. Your weakness is silver. Your eyes changed colors since you drank from me. You appear in places you're not supposed be. I don't understand how this is, but I know what I've seen." I insisted. Bella nodded, mostly to herself it seemed.

"Very well." Her eyes were lost somewhere faraway. Finally, she blinked, and folded her hands on the table and turned her cold gaze to me once more.

"Are you afraid?" Without breaking eye contact with her, I cautiously, slowly, reached my bandaged hand across the table, to touch her clasped hand. There was a shock like none other, an electricity that couldn't be explained when I touched her soft skin. And when I saw her eyes widen, I knew she felt it the same, too.

"No." I finally said. "I've never been afraid of you. You can trust me to keep your secret." She pulled her hand away from mine, sharply.

"Why?" She growled, without missing a beat.

"Because I think we were meant to find each other." I said, hoping I didn't sound stupid.

The tension was broken when our ridiculously cheerful waitress announced our food. She must've sensed the tension. She didn't attempt any of her earlier antics, she set down the food and scampered away instead.

Does everyone but me seem to have a sense of instinctive terror near Bella? Have I just not noticed? If it is a real concept, why am I immune to it? On the contrary, why do I feel like I need her?

I looked up from my deliberation to see Bella's eyes widen, zeroed in on the steaming food before her.

Poor girl. She'd been so starved for so long.

"What are you waiting for? Eat." I said softly, gesturing for her to go ahead. She took a fork in her hand and immediately started shoveling the ravioli into her mouth. I was amused watching her eat, she reminded me of a winter squirrel burrowing food at the rate she shoveled food into her elfin face.

"Slow down," I chuckled. "The food will be here even after you swallow." She cracked a smirk at that and I saw her make an effort to chew a few times before swallowing.

"You eat too." She mumbled through a full mouth. I nodded and shoveled a piece of steak into my mouth with mashed potato. I, too, found myself sighing in content. I didn't realize how abstracted I had been until after I'd finished my meal. We finished our meals quickly, in a comfortable silence. I deliberated for what felt like eons before I spoke again.

"Now that I've answered your question, you have to answer one for me." I said as casually as I could, tracing the lip of my glass idly, despite the calculated dialogue I was following in my head. "What happened on our first day that made you hate me?"

"I can't tell you that." She said quietly.

"You most certainly can." I retorted, in a teasing tone.

"I'll pass," she said quietly. I decided to drop the subject.

"Why did you agree to go out with me tonight?" I finally braved myself to ask.

"The truth?" I leaned in, my eyes were like saucers, I was so eager to hear what she had to say. Her face fell, and I knew her answer before she murmured it. "I came out here to tell you we can't keep doing this." She finally admitted. My heart sank to the pit of my stomach, I felt as if I'd been punched.

So she really wasn't interested in me. After all the faith I had that we were meant to be together, and all the signs that I thought emphasized our compatibility...

The waitress came by in her signature bad timing and offered us a dessert menu. Not wanting the evening to end, I ordered us a chocolate gateaux cake with ice cream on top, to share.

"I'm happy to treat you. Let me do that." I said to a apprehensive Bella, picturing my mother saying the same thing to me when I was a child.

She's probably uncomfortable accepting anything from you since she's made it clear she doesn't want anything to do with you.

"Thank you." She murmured, and I could've sworn in the darkness her cheeks had flushed. Or perhaps it was merely a trick of the light. She said the strangest thing, possibly the most human thing I'd ever heard her ask.

"Just for my personal record, is... is this what a date is supposed to feel like?" I chuckled a little at her uncertainty. It didn't match the exterior, the front that she put up for people, and I suspected that her true personality was more like this timid, shy girl before me.

"Well, what do you mean?" She looked away, nervously.

"Uh, I've never been treated so... kindly."

"How did men treat you before this date?" I blurted out with genuine curiosity.

I know I'm not good enough for you, but it doesn't change the fact that I still want to be in your life and get to know you.

Have you ever been on a date? Been in love? Surely someone must've fallen for you, before...

This was obviously the wrong thing to say, and the frigid front appeared before me again, leaving no trace of the timid, curious girl that was now just a shadow; a simple trick of the light.

"Forget I said anything." She said with a shake of her head. There was an awkward pause, as I weighed my options as to what to say. I opted to answering her question.

"I've never been on a date myself. So I honestly couldn't tell you what it'd be like, but I suppose this is what it would've been. Dinner, a candle, angry girl, a night so uneventful that I slit my wrist out of boredom." I shrugged dramatically with a smirk.

Bella actually began laughing, covering her mouth with her long hands as the laughter racked her body. It made me smile. I'd never seen her so... human. Even her posture had finally relaxed into something that looked comfortable yet still, somehow, elegant.

She looks so amazing in my button down...

"Glad my cool wrist hickey could make you laugh," I added with a grin, waving the bandaged hand once for show. She clutched her stomach as she laughed now and I couldn't help but laugh alongside her. It was so easy to be beside her.

The circumstances that brought us together were wild, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

The cake had arrived without my notice, and had been sitting there for long enough for the vanilla ice cream to soften.

"The ice cream is beginning to melt. We may as well enjoy it." She smiled shyly and to my insistence on the importance of ratios, took a heaping spoonful of dark chocolate, cake and ice cream. I watched her reaction in anticipation as she closed her lips around the spoon.

She smiled delicately, looking down as she chewed carefully and swallowed. "That's.. the best thing I've had to eat in my life." She whispered with a smile. I couldn't help but laugh--it was so easy to be with her.

No matter what, Bella, you'll always have me. Whether that's friendship or otherwise.

I'd stalled for as long as I could with offering the waitress my card, long after she'd handed me the bill. I prolonged the evening for as long as humanly possible, but it eventually came to its inevitable end, and I held the door open for Bella as we stepped out into the night air.

No stars were visible in the pitch black sky, and the yellow light of the street lamps made the world look almost monochrome. We stood under one of them, in silence, not know quite what to say.

"Thanks for the dinner." Bella finally said. "It was... nice." Nice was an understatement.

"No problem. Thanks for coming." There was an awkward silence.

I don't want the evening to end yet. I can't help but wonder if you don't, either...

"Where are you going after this?" I murmured softly; I took a cautious step closer to her. Her eyes widened but she didn't step away.

"The same place I usually sleep." She toed her scuffed shoes, looking down at them with a melancholy expression. The street lamps casted long shadows across her face; her answer sounded unusually sad. Perhaps she didn't want to go, either?

"Is there a bed for you there?" She shook her head ans looked towards the ground again.

"No. But I'll manage." She said with an almost ironic smirk. Is she couch surfing? I hope it's with good people and that you're somewhere safe.

"Bella, please, I can't leave you alone like this knowing you're not safe." I nearly pleaded.

"I'll never be safe from VOLT." She said automatically, looking up at me with bottomless eyes. It seemed as if those words were an instinct, they left her mouth almost robotically.

Bella

I'll never be safe. Not from VOLT.

Edward stared at me and I realized I'd said that out loud. Since when did you become so comfortable with Edward that you tell him the truth?

"Can I at least drop you off?" I shook my head.

"It's fine." A two mile walk.

"Here," he said as he slowly took off his letterman jacket with an F patch on the right side. The left side had E. Cullen embroidered onto it. He winced as he removed his jacket, especially on the right side. "Take this with you. It'll be cold tonight." He held out his blue varsity jacket for me to slide my arms through. I pushed my arms through the oversized sleeves and he buttoned me in.

He must've flushed; I could feel a sudden burst of heat coming from his face. Edward was so close, the simple act of his hands moving near my torso made my mouth water.

"Thank you." I said solemnly. I hoped he knew what he was offering me. This jacket will keep me from freezing tonight. I'll go to sleep somewhat warm and with a full stomach tonight, thanks to you. "I... really appreciate it."

"Does this mean... we could see each other again?" Edward asked as he buttoned the last button. He looked up at me, finally. His eyes looked hazel in the yellow light of the lamp on the dark street. I didn't realize the distance between us had closed again, and we were so close. I found myself gazing at his face, the innocent hopefulness that I did not wish to crush.

"At school, sure." I said as casually as I could. "But... I think it's best we don't see each other. Not like this."

He smiled politely, but the sadness in his eyes were clear.

"Understood. Well, have a good night Bella." He closed the space between us with a platonic embrace, but even the short lived gesture left my spine feeling as if electricity went through it. My eyes widened and my breath caught in my throat.

I'm sorry Edward.

"Have a good night, Edward." I said instead, and offered him a pathetic excuse for a smile as I turned away, before I blurted out the words I knew I couldn't say.

An emotion strangled me as I began walking away from him, knowing his forlorn eyes were following me as I made my way down the street. I wished I could turn around, change my mind. My heart felt as if it were being wrenched in my chest.

I wish I didn't have to leave you. But it's for the best. You deserve a normal life, with a regular human girl.

I can't keep pretending to play this charade. I will never be human, never good enough for you.

Edward

I was lying in bed, wide awake. At first I wondered if it was from the residual sugar high from the cake we'd consumed earlier. It was only hours later that I realized I was still reliving every moment of my date with Bella. The way she had laughed, and had actually... not frowned. There was no doubt to me that she was in fact, beautiful. Maybe the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen.

I wonder where she is now... what she's doing...

What are you doing?! The inner voice in my head screamed at me.

Did you lose it completely? This girl just rejected you. On top of that, you're fantasizing about a vampire. You didn't even know those things existed until a few hours ago! Plus she's not the conventional Bram Stoker Dracula you thought they'd be.

She's attractive, eats human food, is awake in the day, and for whatever reason is attending your high school! She doesn't even like you. But she did seem attracted, at least, for whatever that is worth--" I inserted my AirPods and blasted noisy inner Edward away with loud bass and rap lyrics spitting. I must've fallen asleep.

I saw Bella in my dreams again.

Except this time she wasn't drowning in blood. She was in the same metallic room, the box made of steel. She was asleep on her metal table, dressed in a white sheath as usual. This time, there was a sensual look about her. Her thigh was exposed in a slit in her nightgown, exposing milky flesh.

Her figure was somehow elegant asleep. I walked over to her in this dream. I touched her hair ever so softly. Her charcoal-colored hair felt like feathers in my fingers. Then with no warning, her eyes snappped open, crimson eyes bored into my soul. She opened her mouth, exposing long, inhuman fangs that she hated at me.

I gasped and scrambled to sit up in bed, hissing at the explosive pain as I did. Fucking ribs. I was tangled in my sheets and an uncomfortable need made its urgency clear from under my tented sheets. I groaned softly to myself.

Even in a fucking nightmare she still manages to get me hard as a rock.

I laid back down onto my pillows and wrapped my hand around the stiff rod in my pants, closed my eyes and begn to stroke myself. Slowly, the sheepishness of the act faded as I lost myself in the feeling, and I struggled against the groan in my throat to not make any noise in a house with my parents and sister asleep.

I fantasized about what her hand might feel like against my cock, instead of mine, what she might feel like pressed against my body. I imagined her body, under her uniform.

Once my fantasies had conjured her in the white sheath, with rosy nipples just barely visible through the fabric, I was done for. I bucked up into my hand and came fountains worth, spurting many times before I recovered and was able to open my eyes and straighten my toes. I reached for the tissues on my bedside stand and wiped the viscous liquid from my stomach in disgust.

God, you are such a loser.