Bella

I awoke to my eyes focusing on the familiar dirt floor I always slept on. The dim light cracked through the boarded windows, and was barely bright enough for me to know the sun was rising.

I was disoriented, waking up from a deeper sleep than I usually had. I yawned and stretched leisurely, feeling well in the oversized periwinkle jacket. For the first time, my teeth were not chattering from the cold in the night, my jaw was spared from the dull ache that I felt in my muscles after clenching my way through the pain of frost each evening.

I touched the embroidered lettering on the right side of my jacket. I closed my eyes as the felt fabric tickled my fingertips.

E. Cullen.

He'd offered his letterman jacket without a second thought, but he didn't have a clue how significant the gesture was to me.

Of course, he also didn't know I slept on the floors of abandoned buildings, either.

how ironic that Edward's warmth was what kept me alive, considering that each day I sat next to him I rejected both the internal and external warmth that seemed to surround him, swarm him.

the fear of destroying him was the only thing preventing me from ripping him to shreds and flaying him alive.

I stood and made my way in the dawn light out the rusted door. I was surprised to see it had snowed overnight. I idly wondered what would've happen to me if I didn't have his coat. I probably wouldn't have slept for very long for one, out of fear for freezing.

If I did die, Would my other half live on, a monster with no one to tame it? Or would the monster within me die with my body, with no vessel?

I began my trek to school, trying to find dry patches of footing so my shoes wouldn't get wet.

These were the only ones I had.

Edward had become something of a hero when I returned to school the next day. In biology, I'd snuck into class early wearing the letterman jacket I'd hoped to return by the end of the day, maybe to one of his friends.

Surely he wouldn't come to school today.

I flinched as I remembered the audible crack that sounded as Demetri's blow resonated through Edward's fragile human bones. I shuddered at the thought.

I was appreciative of keeping the jacket for now, actually. I counted on the fact that it would cloak the instant gain of both muscle mass and adipose tissue that happened overnight, so to speak.

Thank god no one notices you, because you look like a different person now.

As the bell rang and students began drifting in, I noted Jessica Stanley had a strange gleam about her. Even from my sole week here I'd known that look. She was dying to gossip. Before anyone had even asked, Jessica Stanley announced loudly,

"My mom saw Edward Cullen at the hospital." The girls of the class seemingly flocked over to the sound of his name. Nearly every girl in the class had crowded in a ring around Jessica's desk, perhaps the only ones that didn't were Rosalie Hale, Mary Alice Brandon.

They must've already heard the "news" through Emmett and Jasper. I noted Angela Webber was also at her desk, reviewing notes. I rather liked her conservative manners. Jessica only eyed them snide-fully once before she began her announcement.

"My mom said Edward was in a fight last night; he was in bad shape." There were many exclamations.

"Do you know if he won?" Some chattered excitedly.

"What happened? Did she tell you?"

"He was fighting to protect a girl."

"Who?"

"She said she saw her at the reception desk. Dark haired girl with dark eyes. She said she had a dark vibe, like she was going to murder someone if she didn't get her way."

I scoffed at the description. Was that the receptionist's first impression of me? Or were all humans instinctively wary of me? Could even their subconscious sense there was something wrong with me?

"Well that doesn't help us at all, plenty of people have dark hair."Someone said with an eye roll. I felt my throat become dry, and I smelled a cloying sweetness in the air. I knew exactly who was entering the door before someone had announced,

"Oh my god, here he comes!"

He came to school today?

The girls sat back as Edward entered the room. He walked slowly through the doorway and I noted he didn't seem to have any books on him today.

He was hurt so badly he can't carry anything. Because of you.

My throat stung as he made it way closer to me, but the pain was not as pronounced as it did the first day I'd met him. It made me wonder if the potency of it was fading on me, slowly.

Am I slowly becoming immune to his scent? Does this have anything to do with the fact that I had consumed his bloodyesterday?

I barely heard the murmurs as he walked towards my desk, I focused on taking my last deep breath.

"He's so hot."

"My god how is he single."

"Is he gay?"

When he locked eyes with me, he grinned crookedly. I offered a small curve of my lips, just a soft smirk back at him. Every single girl's eyes in the class landed on me as they put two and two together.

"Her?"

"Eating disorder girl is Edward's mystery girl?"

"Is that his captain jacket she's wearing?"

"I'm so disappointed."

Please don't sit beside me. You know we can't have a relationship--friendship or otherwise.

As if he could hear my exact thoughts and wished to defy them, he sat beside me gingerly, wincing as he settled in his seat. He seemed indifferent to the attention, as if he didn't notice it at all.

"How are you today, Bella?" He asked pleasantly. I could feel the icy stares of all the females in the classroom and I felt so uncomfortable by the attention.

It's like you're in a metal box again, except this time, teenage girls want to see how you react to external factors. Don't let them see. Dont give them the satisfaction.

"I'm fine." I replied as quietly as I could, feeling my face blow up in flames. "How are you?"

"Hanging in there," He said wryly. He seemed to be aware of the crowd and how uncomfortable they made me. He turned his whole body to face Jessica Stanley. Jessica may have had the class' attention for a moment, but much like Mike said with disdain, Edward was the ringleader of the school.

"Stanley." He addressed her plainly and by last name, and a little louder than he needed to. She looked excited to hold his attention.

"I apologize, I won't be able to teach you today. I've got plans." He turned back to me swiftly, winking in my direction.

He did that for my sake. To turn attention away from me, and onto him.

I could practically feel her fury towards Edward, her disappointment towards the "mystery girl" being me and the sting of rejection from Edward swirl into a tornado within her. For the first time, she was at a loss for words. Her crowd stared at her in bewilderment.

"Whoa."

"Jess, he really ditched you for her."

"I thought you told me he was into you?"

At the last comment, we both looked at each other and stifled giggles. He immediately sat up straight and winced. Evidently, it still pained Edward to laugh in his condition.

"Fuck..." he wheezed, holding his ribs. "Eeeeeeew we're That was worth it."

I took in a cautious breath. I felt the flames that slowly licked at my throat as I breathed in, but it escaped me just as quickly in a fit of laughter. It was the first time I felt free to laugh. I cau

ght Edward staring at me for a moment.

"What?" I'd asked.

"You should smile more. It suits you." He said plainly, before the teacher had called for our attention.

"Here, you can use my textbook today." I hushed in response. I felt my cheeks flame in an embarrassing blush. I caught him grinning at me as he thanked me. His scent lingered in the air, and I could taste it between my parted lips, without much temptation. It made me wonder if I could maintain some sort of friendship with him.

Don't fool yourself Bella.

You'll always be a danger to him.

Edward

Seeing Bella in my jacket this morning made me grin from ear to ear. I knew it was silly, it wasn't as if a jacket with my name on it was any sort of marking of territory, and it certainly didn't prove anything about our rapport, but it made me feel as though there was hope for an amity to come.

My luck today had been outstanding. Bella had allowed me to sit beside her in two classes! And even permitted to team up with me on a social studies assignment about civil rights. She seemed intrigued, even.

Bella's behavior confused me. Her paranoia seemed to subside only if she was within my radius. She had a wall up for others that she seemed to lower with me. Her desire to have nothing to do with me also contradicted the fact that she had accepted a date with me yesterday. Even the way she looked at me made me wonder if she was attracted to me, or at least, not repulsed.

Her eyes seemed to become lighter since yesterday, they were a warm brown today. Did they change based on her moods? If so, what did brown mean?

I was catapulted back to reality when my phone's screen showed a new message delivered from BROS BEFORE HOES. I opened it.

"YOOOOO. EDWARD." Emmett had messaged me.

"I'm in algrebra rn, the girls here are freaking out that you have a girlfriend now?" I smiled as I texted him back, from under my table.

"Haha I would say it's too early for that but shit rumors already spreading?"

"It's Forks man. Population of 3,000. So? Is it official?"

"Well I wouldn't say that." I typed back. "Nothing else has happened since we got dinner yesterday. Plus she kinda rejected me anyway."

"Wtf. What happened?" I could practically hear Jasper's voice in my head.

"We had a good time." I replied, almost incredulously. Her severity offset my good natured humor; our personalities complimented each other. I thought. "She just didn't want anything more than a friendship." I typed delicately, and hit send.

"FUCK THAT SHIT. DO NOT GO INTO THE FRIENDZONE." -E

"KEEP TRYING! She's saying one thing, but her actions contradict, there's still hope!" -J

"Mr. Cullen!" The calculus teacher snapped at me. I put my phone down on my desk, face down in surrender.

"Sorry Mr. Wentsworth!" I called softly. The bell rang for class to be over before he could continue to chide me. I sat up carefully, holding my ribs. Bella would be at her locker now.

I had better places to be anyway.

Bella

I smelled the sweetest apples in the air, and I knew he was near me. I closed my locker, and sure enough, there he stood.

"Hey, Bella." His ever-askew grin was distracting, I forced myself not to stare too much at it in case I'd need my attention elsewhere in this very public space.

Volt is still out there.

"I was wondering if you wanted to come over my house after school today?" He asked casually. I blinked hard.

"For...?"

"The social studies project, of course." He said automatically. I felt so ashamed I wondered if he meant something more amicable. "That and it'd be nice to have dinner again, don't you think?" He said pleasantly. I stood there dumbfounded.

Did he not hear me reject him yesterday?

Volt had found me once, they could easily find me again...

"Your parents...?" I asked, hoping that their concern would be a plausible excuse to not be present.

"Wouldn't mind," he filled in gracefully. "I'm happy to let them know, though they won't be home until evening time." I bit my lip.

Don't agree. You're only putting him in danger!

"Just until evening time then?" I heard myself say and I wanted to slap myself in utter shame.

"Great." He grinned. "Meet me by the silver Volvo after school."

What did you just get yourself into?

More importantly, what did you just get Edward into?

I struggled with my inner dialogue that desperately wanted to protect Edward from myself.

It's not too late. Just meet him and tell him no, that you changed your mind. Regular people cancel all the time. Better yet, tell him you want nothing to do with him, he knows too much as it is!

My other, selfish side argued otherwise.

If VOLT couldn't find you, wouldn't you be entitled to any sort of life you want?

The thought intrigued me, and I let my mind explode the topic more.

What sort of life would I live, if I didn't live in fear, and for survival?

The revelation struck me, like a match did a light. It felt as though the universe halted its rotation for a moment, just so my thoughts could unravel into a grand epiphany.

I may not be human. I may never be human, but that is out of my control. For as long as I can live free from VOLT, who's to say how I was to live?

What guidelines did I have to follow without the institution I no longer had to answer to?

For the first time, I felt a glimmer of hope. It made me readjust my perpetually guarded crouch to stand just a little taller.

Perhaps there is a way I could be free from Volt, forever. I touched my upper arm.

Are you willing to do what it takes?