Taking Back the Crown

by JCMorrigan

Mozenrath. Archibald Snatcher. Roman Torchwick. Mad Madam Mim. Yzma. The Huntsman. Wuya. Ayam Aghoul. Their mission: take over the multiverse, or look fabulous trying. Rated M for swearing, steamy implications and VERY bloody battles. Contains slash and het shipping.

107. Warped

A/N: Bringing Kim Possible into it! Whatever episode order you use, my canon divergence point is just before So the Drama would've happened.

...

"Let's see…" Sora consulted an aged, creased parchment in his hands. "According to Polari's map, we should be in…huh. That's weird. It isn't here."

Riku watched Sora struggle to recalculate the axes of the map for a moment before playfully plucking it from his hands, flipping it right-side-up, and dangling it before him. "Try it now," he said with a smirk.

"Oh!" Sora's face lit up with a beam. "Now I see it! We're in Rolling Coaster Galaxy!"

Riku took a glance around. They stood on the first of a series of rounded platforms suspended in a seemingly endless blue sky. From here was a most unusual pathway: a thin set of railings that led to a road made of rainbow-colored glass. This road twisted and turned all ways, seeming to serve no practical purpose.

"Sure does look like a rollercoaster, all right," Riku remarked. "I just wonder how we're – "

"HEY, RIKU! LOOK AT THIS!"

Sora had discovered, elsewhere on the initial platforms, a cluster of golden spheres, each as tall as Sora himself. And, Sora being Sora, he had gotten up on top of one of them, wobbling a bit until his balance steadied. Once settled, Sora began to roll the ball around the platform using his feet.

Riku couldn't help but chuckle, using his GummiPhone to snap a picture of his enthusiastic boyfriend.

"Whaaaat," Sora taunted, "you're just gonna stand there and take pictures?"

"What do you want me to do?" Riku retorted. "Get up there and roll around with you?" He actually was tempted, but he needed a little reassurance from someone who was used to being more ridiculous before he let his hair down that much.

"Well, duh!" Sora replied. "That's how this works! Don't you get it?"

"Um…no?"
"That's what the tracks are for!" Sora cried excitedly. "Rolling these things over them! We could have a race!"

"Huh." Riku had to admit that sometimes, Sora really could see things in a way that others couldn't. And they called him stupid for it. "Why would someone build all of this, all the way out here?"

"Well, Rosalina said a lot of the galaxies in this area used to be Lumas," Sora recalled, "and they pick what they want to be when they grow up. I bet this Luma just wanted to be a place where people could have a good time!"

The glass of the road below seemed to shimmer more brightly, as though in affirmation.

"Well, I wouldn't wanna let that Luma down," Riku laughed as he hoisted himself up onto another golden sphere.

They rolled up to the first set of tracks. "Only room for one," Riku noticed. "It widens out further down. Whoever gets the advantage here REALLY gets the advantage."

"Let's go on three," Sora suggested, and Riku nodded. "One…"

Then Sora was off two words too early, rolling down the narrow tracks.

"HEY, NO FAIR!" Riku cried, nearly falling off his sphere from laughing. "CHEATER!"

He chased Sora down the tracks, and once they'd both spilled out onto the glassy road, Riku kicked his feet all the harder to speed up his sphere. He overtook Sora, firing him a coy grin as Sora's jaw dropped in dismay.

Back and forth they went across the whole course, sometimes Riku outpacing Sora, sometimes Sora catching up and usurping the lead. More sets of narrow tracks forced one or the other to take an advantage. Jumps, ramps, and even hidden bombs offered a myriad of obstacles.

But far and away, it was Riku who took the victory, landing on the last platform at the end of the track, where his sphere rolled into a designated receptacle and shattered into stardust. Sora's sphere hit it several minutes afterward.

"You might've won this time," Sora told him, "but I'll catch up to you next time!"

Riku chuckled again. "Y'know, I almost wish we'd still kept score from the Islands, when we used to – "

"It's one hundred and thirty-four to sixty-five."

Riku's jaw dropped. "You COUNTED?"

"And you're the one hundred and thirty-four!" Sora said indignantly. "That's not even counting the times Ansem fought me with your body!"
"I HOPE you wouldn't count those times."

Sora put his hands on his hips, leaning toward Riku. "So?" he asked. "Having fun yet?"

"Yeah," Riku admitted. "I'm glad we did this."

"Well, the fun's just getting started!" Sora promised. "You wanna race again, or find something else to do?"

"I kinda wanna move on. See what else is out there."

"That's fair. Just one thing I wanna do first."

"What's that?" Riku asked.

Sora had taken out his GummiPhone. "Get oooooone more picture. Me with the winner of the race!"

After a selfie captured their bright smiles, Sora and Riku summoned their skimmers. "Hey, Sora," Riku said suddenly. "Race you to the next galaxy."

"Wha – "

Riku had already taken off, leaving Sora in the stardust.

It was now Sora's turn to yell "CHEATER!" before taking off after him.

...

An orderly led Stork, Ruby, Rapunzel, Lea, Roxas, Rainbow Dash, and Lyrae to the courtyard outside the hospital of Terra Valhalla, where a large tree bearing strange golden fruit provided a cover of shade. Rough-hewn stone benches surrounded a grassy arena, and it was over this lawn that two young men fenced with wooden swords.

"As you can see," the orderly said bemusedly, "he's been recovering just fine."

Stork thought he felt his heart stop when he took in the sight of Finn. The boy was leaping and darting around with his usual fervor, and it was almost as though things were back to normal. Almost. There was the fact that Finn's hair was much shorter, just beginning to grow back. And there were his burn scars, which weren't as grievous as those Stork had seen on Zuko but he knew would still last Finn the rest of his life, a constant reminder of how he'd almost been lost.

Ruby put up her arm to wave. "Finn!" she called out. "Capercailie!"

The blonds ceased their duel, smiling over at Ruby. "Why, hello!" Prince Capercailie cried out.

"STORK!" Finn barreled toward the newcomers.

"Wait – " Stork realized what Finn was going for. "NonononoNONONONONO – "

Finn, undeterred, tackled Stork in a tight embrace, knocking them both to the ground.

"Ow," Stork sighed.

As Finn leapt up and Stork pried himself off the grass, Finn babbled, "You're here! What happened to you out there? What'd you do? Where'd you go? Did you have any cool adventures? Is that a flying horse? Did you – "

"ONE!" Stork flung out both arms. "At. A. TIME!"

"Sorry," Finn said somewhat sheepishly, dragging a toe behind the opposite heel. "So…what happened? No. Wait. That's NOT my first question. Because you're totally back, dude, and that can only mean one thing, right? ARE YOU GETTING THE BAND BACK TOGETHER?"

"If by 'the band,' you mean 'the Storm Hawks,' then yes," Stork told him. "Provided we all survived. Which I doubt."

"They're out there," Ruby insisted. "We just have to know where to look to find them."

When Finn looked at Ruby, it was as if with all new eyes. "Hey," he said in a low voice, brushing back what was left of his hair. "Didn't get to really spend any…one-on-one time with you last time. So. What's a pretty girl like you doin' on a Terra like this?"

"No," Ruby growled. "Not. Interested."

Stork leaned over to whisper in her ear, "You do realize you basically adopted the exact same thing as your pervy pink-haired older brother."

"Yeah, well, he doesn't hit on ME," Ruby hissed back.

"I get the picture," Finn told her. "Just friends, right?"

"Now, that, I can work with." Ruby nodded.

After Lea and Rainbow Dash cleared their throats loudly, Stork realized, "Oh, yeahhhhh…Finn, these are some other new friends. This is Rapunzel, that's Lea, that's Roxas, the 'flying horse' is actually a pegasus pony and her name is Rainbow Dash, and the Luma is Lyrae."

"This world is SO! AWESOME!" Rainbow Dash squealed. "Do you SERIOUSLY fly around from kingdom to kingdom on cool bikes? And the Sky Knights? It's all real?"

"You betcha," Finn told her. "And I'm one of the best of the best. I'm sure Stork's told you all about the Storm Hawks. Top squadron in the whole Atmos."

"Well, can we be honorary Storm Hawks for a little while?" Roxas asked.

"Sure th – " Finn got a very good look at Roxas then, and his jaw dropped. "Dude! Did you SERIOUSLY go and replace me with a different spiky blond-haired cool guy?"

Stork rolled his eyes as Roxas said, "I get the feeling you'd be kinda hard to replace."

"So what's with the swordplay?" Lea asked.

"Aw, man!" Finn cried. "Cap's been visiting me all the time since you left! He's so awesome!"

"I just…thought it was my duty," Capercailie admitted. "At first, anyway. After a while, spending time with Finn got more…legitimately fun. After hearing that Finn was only proficient with a crossbow, however, I became concerned for his welfare upon his recuperation. Here in Terra Valhalla, only the strong make it anywhere. If Finn is going to be strong, he will need to master more weapons than just the crossbow. I was starting him out learning the art of the sword. With wooden practice implements, of course. Nothing crystal-based yet at his level."

"Not as awesome as the crossbow," Finn stated, "but I'm gettin' pretty good. Anybody wanna fight me so I can prove it?"

"I'll do it!" Roxas stepped forward. He had to admit he was already fond of Finn. The boy reminded him of Hayner – well, of the digital Hayner, the one he thought he'd known. How striking it was that someone Roxas had considered a lifelong friend was actually more distant from him than Finn was just now.

There was no time for such depressing thoughts. Right then, Roxas realized, he needed a practice weapon. There was no way he was going up against a wooden sword using his Keyblade. The thought of asking Capercailie for his sword didn't occur; instead, he cast his gaze around, focusing in on a rather large tree branch that had dropped from the foliage above.

"It's a pretty tree," Ruby remarked as Roxas dove for the branch.

"It's an Yggdrasil Tree," Capercailie explained. "They're said to be connected to the very life force of Atmos."

Roxas hefted up the Yggdrasil branch, which was actually about as long and heavy as his Keyblade usually was. Perfect.

"Uh, dude?" Finn pointed out. "That's a stick."

What Roxas should have said was "I know." However, hearing those words in that order stirred something inside of him, something nostalgic. Why? Was it something digital Hayner had said, or Pence or Olette? Roxas had the sudden hollow feeling that something very important was missing.

"Uh, hello?" Finn waved his hand in front of Roxas' face. "Atmos to Roxas!"

Roxas snapped out of it. The hollow feeling was gone, quickly as it had come. How silly, anyway, to have been entranced by someone pointing out he was wielding an improbable weapon. "Yeah, it's a stick," he affirmed. "The stick I'm gonna kick your butt with!"

"Bring it on!"

The two boys engaged in a playful duel. Roxas had to hold back a lot in order to match Finn's skill level, but said nothing of it, letting Finn think he naturally had the upper hand. Both of them were having fun, anyway.

"So has anyone thought about where we should go to look for everyone else?" Rapunzel asked.

"It's an entire world full of Terras, traps, and methods of untimely and painful demise," Stork pointed out. "Even if they ARE alive, we can't find them without some kind of hint!"

"I mean, I could try to fly around at top speed," Rainbow Dash mused. "I've never tried to cover the ground of an entire world before, but there's a first time for everything, right?"

"We won't need that." Ruby shook her head. "We need to go back to the crash site. To where we found Stork. They found Finn there, and I think I remember that Piper woke up on the same Terra. If we look around, we might find Junko, Radarr, or a clue to where somebody went. After that, we know Aerrow is on the other side of Atmos. Merlin already found him there. So we need to cross over. How can we do that?"

"Ohhhh, that's gonna be hard," Stork muttered. "The only way we crossed over here was using the Oracle Stone, and Piper has that with her on the Condor. …Then again, there was that whole incident with Domiwick on Terra Aquanos that suggested there might – MIGHT – be a series of underwater tunnels that link the two halves. But you'd need to pretty much be aquatic to get through there."

"Or I can speed you through real fast!" Lyrae volunteered. "It'll be a breeze! I don't even need to breathe underwater, so I can scout it out first!"

"That means we can cross between the two sides as many times as we need to," Ruby figured. "We'll worry about Piper last. We can probably just signal the Condor from any Terra and find her that way."

"You gonna be okay luggin' that bag all the way there?" Lea asked Rapunzel.

The princess had been put in charge of carrying the Gummi blocks that would convert the Condor to something interspace-worthy. "Please," Rapunzel dismissed. "This is nothing! I have to walk around with seventy feet of hair on my head all day, and do you even know how heavy a cast-iron frying pan is? I have endurance!"

Stork looked to her and smiled; she returned the gesture casually. Honestly, Stork thought, he would be in so many more shambles if she weren't here. This may have been Ruby's idea, but Rapunzel's very presence comforted Stork in a way Ruby couldn't match. He knew, no matter what, that her light would be there to guide him.

"All right," Stork resolved. "I guess we're doing this."

"Hey, Roxas!" Lea called out. "Sharpshooter! Let's wrap it up and move out!"

...

"…anyway, the gas goes into the cylinders I mentioned," Kazuichi was explaining, "and when the piston – that's the turny-thingy – rotates around to the top, then it's like a flint on a stone, and it sparks, which makes the piston turn down. But this makes a lot of toxic gas, and that can't stay all built up in there, or it'll kinda, y'know, explode. That's why they put a valve in the engine so the gas can leak out and the piston can keep going without blowing up the whole cylinder. They usually make that stuff go out the back of the car. They call that 'exhaust.' I guess 'cause it's kinda like…when you're tired, and you just gotta blow off steam?"

Jasmine had to admit that Kazuichi's rambling on how car engines worked in his world was actually pretty interesting, the way he explained it. She had joined him to take Pacce for a day out, shopping and taking lunch in town. Pacce was incredibly fascinated by the explanation of the engine.

"Wow!" the little boy cried. "That's so cool! Except…I've seen people around here have to use coal a lotta times. Not that gas stuff. How does that work?"

"Oh, you're talkin' about a steam engine!" Kazuichi realized. "A little old-fashioned, but I guess that's Radiant Garden for ya. Yeah, I know how that works, too. You actually gotta burn the coal outside the engine first, and then that makes steam, and then you use pipes'n'stuff to make the steam go into the engine. Pretty complicated. But back home, a lotta people like it for, like, fashion and makin' stuff look cool and pretendin' they're in old times. It's an…an…"

"Aesthetic?" Jasmine supplied.

"Yeah, aesthetic!" Kazuichi affirmed. "Huh. So that's what that word means. I'm usin' that. So anyway, with the gas thing, you gotta balance gas and air inside the cylinder, or else you won't get the right kinda spark. So if you don't add any gas, or the air intake gets blocked, then – "

He was cut off as the three rounded the corner to get a good look at the façade of the Café Resplendence.

It was the facility they'd set out for in the first place to enjoy a quiet lunch. They were greeted by a wrecked shell of the café, cordoned off by a generous radius of tape. It seemed that several large holes had been punched in the walls, making the small building structurally unsound.

"What the fffffff – " Kazuichi suddenly remembered his promise not to curse in front of Pacce. " -fffrickeldy-frack happened here?"

Jasmine took the initiative, striding closer to the building and peering in through where the glass doors, now torn away and shattered, had once been fixed. Inside, she could see upset tables, chairs in disarray, and, oddly enough, blobs of crusty green mucus that patterned the formerly pastel walls.

The proprietor swept up a pile of broken glass from shattered dishware, gathering the shards into a dustpan. "Excuse me?" Jasmine said to get his attention. "What happened?"

"Oh," the proprietor sighed. "There was a bit of an incident."

"It was the guy!" Pacce cried in fear.

"No," Kazuichi said in horror, face screwing up. "No, no, NOOOOO! NOT AGAIN!"

"Oh, no!" the proprietor said hastily. "Not the – " He knew well what had happened up in the castle. "Not him. It was actually…well…"

...

Two hours earlier, Reno had strolled into the café to meet Rude and Elena for lunch. Gazes flicked to him, then averted; the suits of the Turks were well-recognized, and avoided for good reason.

"You're late," Rude grumbled.

"Fashionably," Reno corrected as he twirled his electric baton. "So. What's the buzz?" He pulled out a seat, spun it backward, sat in it with his arms draped over the back.

"The world can't shut up about the one-man invasion," Rude explained. "Though he wasn't a man, if you ask me. Not a human one."

"We thought about exploiting it," Elena sighed. "Everyone has. It's too obvious. Tseng shut it down. Security's still tight and gonna get tighter up there. And there's nothing we can sell them for some fake peace of mind."

"Beyond that, nothing new," Rude concluded.

"Nothing?" Reno sighed. "It's like every time this town gets turned upside-down, we get chump change if anything. The blackout? We're stuck on guard duty, and our cut of the spoils gets cut SHORT once we learn that McDuck got off scot-free. I mean, the guy's just ASKING to be robbed. Total fat-cat type. …Fat duck?"

"City turns into a literal living nightmare," Elena sighed. "Twelve hours of chaos, tops. We barely get into the good stuff before we get drenched in ink and sent packing."

"Weasels've been makin' off pretty good," Rude added. "Takin' most of our prospects. Wouldn't be surprised if they figured out how to monetize the home intruder before we do."

"Come onnnn," Reno groaned. "The Weasels are just thugs. Quantity over quality. The Turks are the elite, the top dogs! I don't care if it's Maleficent, if it's the 'Whack Army,' whatever the hell. This city is ours, and nothing, and I do mean nothing, can dull our shine. There's a goldmine out there. We just gotta find it."

That was when a rather loud sound echoed throughout the café. Reno, sealing his fate, whipped around to look at the scene. Rude and Elena peered around him.

As soon as Reno intook what had happened, he burst out in loud, inappropriate laughter. As it turned out, a very heavyset patron, who'd been at the café on a date with his much smaller and wirier boyfriend, had the misfortune of his chair collapsing out beneath him, spilling him to the ground.

Reno had never really evolved beyond thinking fat was funny. Therefore, he made no effort to even conceal how hilarious he found this, and Rude and Elena slowly caught the chuckles from him.

When someone has undergone such an embarrassing moment in public, especially related to their size, it is incredibly impolite, even cruel, to laugh at them. When that person happens to be Fred Dukes, however, it becomes a death sentence.

Within moments, Fred was back on his feet and looming over the Turk table, face going red with anger and embarrassment mixed together. "YOU THINK SOMETHIN'S FUNNY?" he roared, smacking a fist into the opposite palm.

"Yeah," Reno chuckled. "You. Ever thought about, I dunno, not eating a whole box of donuts for breakfast every morning?"

"DON'T…LAUGH…AT…ME!" Fred bellowed, and everyone in the café who had an ounce of sense recoiled a bit, already sensing what was to come. Even Rude and Elena were slightly nervous.

Reno, however, believed he was invincible. He lazily stood up, drawing out his baton. "You wanna do somethin' about it, punk? You don't seem to know what this suit means. It means I can laugh at you whenever the hell I want."

Fred began to draw back his fist –

And immediately froze it.

Because Todd Tolansky, who'd decided to leap onto the ceiling and use it to scuttle into the fray, had jumped down right between Fred and Reno, facing the latter with as fierce of an expression as he could muster (which really wasn't much).

"YOU GOT A PROBLEM, PAL?" Todd yelled at Reno, going up on tiptoe to attempt to match the Turk's height. "YOU WANNA LAUGH AT MY PUMPKIN? WELL, YOU'RE GONNA HAFTA DEAL WITH THE TOAD FIRST!"

This really didn't do anything to make Reno stop laughing. Furthermore, the redhead lit up his baton, jamming it right into Todd's neck as it crackled with electricity. Todd was brought to the ground, screaming hoarsely and clutching his throat.

Fred didn't hesitate a moment longer.

Before Reno even knew what was happening, Fred had pinned him up against the wall; somehow, in the process, his entire table had been tossed aside like it weighed nothing, Rude and Elena scattering to either side. As Reno slammed into the wall, the simultaneous pain and the sound of the impact informed him that both the wall behind him and one of his ribs had cracked.

Then, the unexpected happened. For the patrons of this café, unlike Fred and Todd, had feared the Turks. To them, it was the status quo that the Turks went where they want and did what they wanted up until the point that some brave hero stepped in to protect the commoner, which was hardly ever if at all. Now, however, that exact scenario seemed to be happening. Somebody – a teenage boy, at that – was giving the Turks a taste of their own medicine.

So when Reno was pinned, the onlookers cheered.

Todd bounced back up with a croaking "I'm…okay…" that Fred was sure not to miss. Elena quickly rounded on him; he was quick to hack up a slimeball that temporarily blinded her, making her cry out in disgust.

Rude charged Fred from behind in an attempt to rescue Reno, but Fred was more than ready for that. With one hand keeping Reno pinned to the wall by his throat, his other hand whipped back, his whole body pivoting so he could deal Rude a blow –

...

"I think we can fill in the rest of the details from there," Jasmine broke in. "Looks like we'll have to find somewhere else to have lunch today. I'll put in a word back at the castle to prioritize this café."

"You don't need to," the proprietor sighed. "It's just a restaurant, after all. I'm sure you have plenty more actual houses to build."

"That's kind of you," Jasmine told him, "but people need more than just places to live and carry out routine. I'll see what we can do."

"I appreciate it," the proprietor told her thankfully.

"I think I remember another restaurant down the way that Aerith recommended once," Jasmine said softly, not wanting the man to overhear exactly which of his competitors he was losing business to in his hour of desperation. "Let's go."

As she and Pacce turned to leave, Kazuichi hung back a moment. "Hey, uh…" he asked the sweeping man. "Just outta pure curiosity, who won?"

"The kids sent the Turks packing," the proprietor answered, "and everyone was happy until they realized most of their wallets were missing. By the time someone figured it out, the little one had already taken off. …Hopping."

"Yeah, kinda figured," Kazuichi remarked, inwardly congratulating Todd and Fred on the victory. "Anyway, uh…good luck with that."

He caught up with Jasmine and Pacce, asking, "So where's this other place?"

"A few blocks away," Jasmine explained. "I know the general direction. We'll find it."

"Good," Pacce remarked, "'cause I'm soooooo starving!"

"Hey…" Kazuichi said suddenly, stopping in his tracks. "You two smell that?"

Jasmine sniffed the air. Sure enough, there was an aroma, but more like a perfume than anything – sickeningly sweet, with a sharp undertone. "It isn't food," she remarked.

"It's so…pretty," Kazuichi said with a dazed look in his eye. "I wanna find out where it's coming from."

Jasmine flinched, wondering what enchantment had taken over him. "Kazuichi – "

"I think it's that way!" He'd already taken off running down a side street.

"Kazuichi, WAIT!" Jasmine cried; she and Pacce sprinted after him.

He'd halted in front of a small, shabby building that had been sandwiched between two other shops in a rather strange way – almost as if it were taking up space that simply hadn't been there before; the neighboring shops had once adjoined, but now did not, without sacrificing any floor space or moving any distance apart. The narrow boutique was made of black wood that seemed almost rotted; a single grimy window on top punctuated the elaborately carved wooden door below. That door bore a fresco of bones and skulls, none of which were arranged in the actual order of a human skeleton. Looking more closely at the building, one could see that it had more ornamental skulls, skulls that looked eerily like real bone, festooning each corner and border. The gable of black shingles was crooked, looking like it had been bent in a very strong wind – or constructed by someone who simply didn't care about symmetry in any form.

"Here," Kazuichi said in a quavering voice as Jasmine and Pacce caught up. "It's coming from here."

"I don't like this," Jasmine told him. "It looks…" Her eyes traveled over the gable, the skulls. "Wrong."

"Since when do YOU judge anything by how it looks?" Kazuichi asked her. "It's fine. The owner's probably just a major goth or something. Anyway, how could something that smells so good come from somewhere bad?"

The scent was one he'd never encountered before, but it brought up all sorts of good memories upon inhalation. It smelled not like how Sonia did, but how he'd always thought Sonia, ideally, would. It smelled like how his mom used to. It smelled like Rapunzel's coconut cookies. It smelled like sea breeze. It even smelled a little bit like the oil odor that hung around the garage back home, where he would disassemble and reassemble his prize motorcycle that he couldn't even ride.

It was as if the scent had been tailored specifically to entice him.

In fact, it had been.

Half-enchanted, yet still remaining in control of his free will, Kazuichi made his choice. He pushed open the wooden door, listening to the "clang" of the ugliest-sounding rusty bell he'd ever heard, and stepped inside the dark shop's darker interior.

Jasmine was stuck with a conundrum. She had no good feelings about this place. However, she knew she had to go in after her friend no matter what, to try and save him from whatever had lured him. The problem was Pacce. She didn't want him to come inside, should this turn out to be dangerous. Neither did she want to leave him unsupervised.

In the end, she decided it was better to keep him where she could see him. "Stay close to me, Pacce," she said firmly. "Don't touch anything, and don't go anywhere unless I tell you to."

"Yes, ma'am," Pacce said meekly.

Jasmine pushed through the door, Pacce at her side. The rusty bell clanged discordantly.

The shop was lit from above by a single lamp, and its bulb seemed to be on the verge of burning out, dimmed as it could get. Every now and again, a small winged insect or two would pass in front of it, then disappear into the shadows again. The walls were lined with shelving, row upon row, only just straight enough to hold up the array of bottles that lay upon them. And what an array: liquids of every color, what would have been a stunning rainbow if the light were bright enough to see them. Reds, purples, blues, greens, and more. They were kept in glass bottles of every shape and size, round, square, and polyhedral; from the smallest stoppered vial of lavender liquid that couldn't have been more than a quarter-cup's worth to a two-gallon jug of fizzing green on the bottom shelf.

At the opposite end of the shop from the doorway was a dusty sales counter carved of the same wood as the rest of the shop, dangerous-looking splinters protruding from its top. A curtain covered a doorway to some back storeroom. Behind the counter, a silhouette rose up tall. It was easy to see that it was a woman's figure, and at first, Kazuichi's mind was taking its usual pathways, noting how hourglass-shaped she was, but then, he found she wasn't quite so attractive to him as she theoretically should have been – her bust was a bit too large to be believable, her waist a bit too narrow. Stupid, Kazuichi thought, to think a person who was obviously standing in front of him was unrealistic-looking. From what little he could see in the dim light, her skin was pale as skin comes, and her long, flowing hair was a soft color – pink like his own? Lavender?

Of course it was lavender. It was Mad Madam Mim, donning one of her favorite false shapes. Though Kazuichi didn't suspect a thing, either because of her disguise or the bad lighting (which she hadn't even considered would lend itself to her act when she'd decided to make the shop as pleasingly dark as possible). From the looks of it, Jasmine suspected something, but wasn't able to accurately guess what was wrong. The boy Pacce started out looking nervous, but seemed more charmed by the shop's interior than anything.

Children are idiots, Mim thought.

"Welcome, welcome!" she said in the most syrupy version of her voice she could conjure. "How dreadf – DELIGHTFUL to see a handsome young man like yourself in my shop." She sniffed at Jasmine. "I suppose your friend looks all right, too." Then her gaze maneuvered down to Pacce. "And there's…a child." Really, that was all she could think to say.

Kazuichi's head was starting to clear from the mild hypnosis caused by the perfume Mim had sent out to lure him in. "Hey," he said with teeth gritted. "Jasmine's my pal, okay?"

"Oh, of course," Mim said sweetly. "My apologies if I hurt your feelings."

Jasmine folded her arms, glaring at Mim. "My feelings aren't exactly hurt."

"Don't trust me, do you?" Mim pouted. "Must it always be woman against woman? You know that's only a gimmick the men set up to get us to catfight. Please, don't hate me because I'm beautiful."

Somehow, Jasmine wasn't sure Mim had feminist motivations in mind.

She missed the slight movement of the curtain that separated the back room from the sales floor. There, hidden out of sight, Aghoul and Rémington watched through either side of the cloth.

"Jasmine?" Aghoul hissed just quietly enough that he wasn't heard. "Well, this is an unexpected surprise. I'm half tempted to get her to drink the stuff instead…"

"Mim will kill you," Rémington reminded him.

"And you think that's incentive for me not to do it?"

"No, but I'd rather have a turn at her murder attempts without you getting in the way."

"You're just jealous because I'm Mim's favorite," Aghoul accused, reaching over to give Rémington a light shove.

"I wouldn't say favorite," Rémington replied. "After all, she fell for me when she already had you." This was accompanied by a little harder of a shove.

"Please," Aghoul scoffed. "You're such a pretty little thing. And we both know how Mim feels about pretty." Now he outright pushed Rémington back a couple steps.

"You don't even know how to put up a fight," Rémington seethed back. "At least I give her entertainment. You just roll over like a dog." He pushed Aghoul right down to the ground.

"Why, you…" Aghoul got up and dusted himself off. "I've half a mind to just drown you in the cauldron. Two birds with one stone."

"Please don't," Rémington told him with a sly wink. "After all, I'm the only man in Mim's life who actually gives her a heartbeat."

Aghoul outright tackled him, and the pair rolled across the floor, kicking, biting, scratching. It was almost a shame Mim wasn't there to see the sight, as it would've been exactly her flavor of entertainment. Spitfire, who was trying to lounge on one of the few patches of floor that didn't creak, yowled and darted out of the way of the wrestling men.

When they hit the base of the cauldron that filled the center of the room – an even darker affair than out front, with no windows and only lit by an arrangement of skulls with candles inside – a small splash of the frothing potion within spilled over onto Rémington's face, and the thief froze. Aghoul followed suit once he noticed it.

"Don't…move," Aghoul said in horror. They'd made that potion for a particular reason, and if it got into Rémington's bloodstream while he was making eye contact with Aghoul, neither of them wanted to deal with the fallout.

"Get…it…off," Rémington whispered in a panic.

Aghoul got up as quietly as he could, fetching a dingy rag that had earlier been used to wipe the spiderwebs out of the corner. Rémington could take that hit if it meant catching the potion before it traveled into the corner of his eye.

"Hurry up!" he hissed.

Aghoul dabbed the potion away, flinging the rag aside. "I'd say that was a rather close shave," he remarked. "I'd rather not have you mooning over me for the next century."

"Believe me, I don't want to moon."

Then, a sole spark of curiosity passed from one gaze to the other, as if they weren't as absolutely certain about that statement as they'd thought. Then they cringed in unison to shake it off.

"How is it?" Rémington asked Aghoul. "I have no idea how these things work, after all."

"It just needs a few more minutes," Aghoul told him; though the fire was out beneath the cauldron (else them running into it would've been an even worse affair), it still needed to steep at room temperature. "Luckily, Mim can stall them out front."

"I wouldn't be too sure," Rémington muttered. "Your pesky princess might make them leave early."

Aghoul cringed. That was on-brand for Jasmine, all right. "Good point."

Out front, Jasmine had heard the "thud" of two men collapsing to the floorboards in the back room, followed by Spitfire's complaint. "Is…everything okay back there?" she asked.

"Yes," Mim said hurriedly. "It's just the spiders."

"I heard a cat!" Pacce chirped.

"He takes care of the spiders," Mim explained.

"That sounded waaaaaaay too big to be a spider," Kazuichi pointed out.

"Any spider YOU know of," Mim said with a grin that sent a chill down Kazuichi's spine. However, she couldn't send him packing out of fear just yet. "Now, tell me, handsome young man. Does your heart ache?"

"Uh…yeah?" Kazuichi replied.

"I thought as much," Mim mused. "After all, only those with heartache find their way to this humble shop. …And I guess their baggage comes along, too." This, with a glare at Jasmine and Pacce. "Now, tell me. What troubles you?"

"Well, uh, a lot of it's private," Kazuichi admitted, reaching up to pinch the brim of his hat. "I kinda have a complicated past, involving a lot of…bad things I did…and people who let me down…and – "

"Just skip to the part about the woman!" Mim barked.

"Huh?" Kazuichi flinched in surprise. "How'd you know about Miss Sonia?"

"It's written in your eyes," Mim told him. "Your beautiful, beautiful eyes."

"Kazuichi," Jasmine hissed, "I really think we should go."

"Not yet!" Kazuichi insisted. "I wanna see where this is going! I mean, you don't have any proof this is bad, right?"
Jasmine didn't. And she'd known quite a few people, from Arbutus to Midna, who'd seemed like they could be bad news only to turn out to have depths she hadn't anticipated. All she had was an instinct, but was that enough?

Pacce tugged on Jasmine's hand, pointing to the bottles. "They're pretty colors," he observed.

"That they are," Mim affirmed, "and each and every one a special potion designed to cure a different ail."

Lies. Complete and utter lies. Each and every one was water with some dye and other ingredients to create fizzing and bubbling effects. Even the eyeballs suspended in the jar on the second shelf from the top on the East wall were, regrettably, plastic. The shop had been a quick show to put together, and it wasn't meant to last long, after all.

"Which brings me back to the point," Mim told Kazuichi. "There's a woman in your life, and she isn't treating you right."

"That's not – " Jasmine began to break in.

"YEAH!" Kazuichi said over her. "I saved her from this demon guy and everything, and now she…well…I mean, I guess I can't really blame her. I did wait, like, forever to even ask her out. And she's liked this other guy for a while. Maybe I shouldn't – no, I'm still mad! She should've at least…I dunno, turned me down more respectfully! Somehow! …Okay, maybe I dunno how. Maybe I – "

"Maybe you gave her your very heart and soul," Mim said in a pouting tone, "and she responded by giving you nothing at all. After all you did for her! After all the ways you REVERED her! Aren't you deserving of even the slightest of her love?"

"Yeah…" Kazuichi mused, thinking it over. "Just…SOMETHING."

"You felt your heart ache for her for so very long!" Mim pretended to mourn maudlinly. "And all for nothing, with no recompense!"

"That's a good point…" Kazuichi muttered.

"How will you ever get that lost time back?" Mim asked.

"I dunno," Kazuichi realized, suddenly very antsy.

"You poor, poor dear," Mim told him. "Thankfully, I have a solution for you."

She edged over to the curtain, slipped her outstretched hand behind it. "Here, in my hand, is what will heal your broken heart."

Aghoul and Rémington shot a glance at the potion. Eye of newt and wing of bat and a long black whisker from a big orange cat (well, the recipe had called for black, but Spitfire was all that was available on short notice). Still steeping. Still in need of a minute more at least. It was supposed to look a deep cerulean color, and it was still shades of green, from what the men could tell from the skull-lamps.

"RIGHT HERE IN MY HAND." Mim's fingers curled and uncurled.

Aghoul scribbled something on a spare parchment and thrust it into Mim's hand.

She drew back not the potion she'd expected but the scrap that Aghoul had given her. Baffled, she held it in front of her eyes, reading what he'd scrawled in capital letters:

"ASK ABOUT TRAINS"
"Trains?" Mim flinched. "What do I need to know about trains?"

Kazuichi's eyes positively sparkled. "YOU WANNA KNOW STUFF ABOUT TRAINS?"

"Oh, no," Jasmine muttered.

"Um…yes," Mim told Kazuichi, rolling with it. "Anything and everything about trains."

"Where to START?" Kazuichi cried. "Okay. So there are three main kinds of train: steam, diesel, and electric. The trains around here mostly look like they're steam, so I'll focus on that. Though, actually, there are combo engines that mix the types, but that's not really it's own thing, y'know? Now, a steam locomotive runs on a steam engine – do you know what those are? I already explained them to Pacce earlier, but – okay, you look like you do. That's easier. So you gotta put the coal or whatever fuel you're using, but it's usually coal, into the actual locomotive part of the train, and also a ton of water. 'Cause ya gotta keep feeding it constantly, y'know? Except I've never actually seen a fuel guy running the locomotives around here, so maybe they're electric? Wow, I'm dumb. The engines here gotta run on MAGIC. I dunno anything about MAGIC trains."

"Let's just focus on the steam ones," Mim said to keep him talking.

And keep talking he did. Kazuichi waxed about steam trains for far longer than anyone should ever have to listen to facts about steam trains, as far as Mim was concerned.

"Kazuichi," Jasmine broke in as she observed Mim's eyes beginning to glaze over, "we still haven't gotten lunch yet. I'm sure Pacce is hungry."

"Yeah, I'm starving!" Pacce piped up. "I just didn't wanna interrupt 'cause I was learnin' about trains."

"Oh," Kazuichi realized. "Sorry. Anyway, miss, we gotta get going. Thanks for…uh…" Had she even done anything for him? "Thanks?"

"WAIT!" Mim cried.

The bottle clinked against the door frame, and Mim knew Rémington was hurriedly thrusting the finished product at her. She grasped it, bringing the shining blue liquid out before her. "THIS is what I wanted to show you!" she said hurriedly. "This is my Attraction Elixir. Guaranteed to form a permanent connection between a lonely heart and the subject of its affections."

"You mean…like a love potion?" Kazuichi realized.

"Not LIKE a love potion." Mim grinned wickedly. "It IS a love potion."

Jasmine bristled. "We're not interested."

"Hang on!" Kazuichi said with interest. "So you're saying if Miss Sonia drinks that, she'll fall in love with me?"

"Oh, no, no, no," Mim corrected. "That isn't how it works at all. It's you who drinks it, and you'll become irresistible to the apple of your eye. However, on the subject of eyes, you HAVE to be making eye contact with her when you drink it! That's the ONLY way she'll fall for you! Otherwise, whoever you look at will fall for you instead! And you don't want some icy know-it-all with no sense of humor tagging along with you and interrupting your violin concertos! Who WOULD want that?"

"Ew," Kazuichi agreed. "Wait. Why the violin – "

"Take it," Mim urged, holding the bottle out over the counter. "All the heartache, all the years lost pining…this little brew will make it all end happily ever after."

"All right, how much are you charging?" Kazuichi sighed. "This is some kind of scam, isn't it?"
"Why, of course not!" Mim told him. "As a gesture of good faith, I'm going to let you have this as a free sample. Once you see how effective it is, you'll be back. THAT'S the catch. Once you buy from this shop, you never spend your munny anywhere else!"

"That's capitalism for ya." Kazuichi gingerly took the bottle into his hands. "Seriously? It's free?"

"What, do you WANT to pay – "

"NO!" Kazuichi shifted the bottle back, out of Mim's reach. "I'll take it! …But seriously, we gotta get going to lunch now. I think my stomach's gonna eat itself inside out. Thanks for the free sample, though!"

He was the first to leave, giving Mim a cheerful wave on the way out.

"Bye, lady!" Pacce cried, following suit.

Mim's upper lip curled.

Jasmine stared her down. There was just something about this woman's eyes she didn't like. But in the end, her better nature won out. There was no evidence.

All the same, there were several reasons she was bound and determined to keep Kazuichi from ingesting that potion.

As she left, clanging the rusty bell one last time, Mim let out a sigh, shrinking in height and making up for it in width. "I hate looking that pretty for that long," she grumbled.

"Just leave that job to me, then," Rémington teased as he stalked out from the back, Spitfire in his arms. "I'll be pretty enough for all of us. That way, you don't have to."

"You know she's going to talk him out of it," Aghoul huffed as he stormed into the sales floor. "She always does."

"Oh, I thought about that," Mim said wickedly. "And that's where phase two comes in. We'll need to get this place packed up, by the way."

"Yes," Aghoul muttered. "We have SEVERAL enchantments to undo, and Vexen's going to notice how much of his glassware we…'borrowed.'"

"HEY!" Rémington cried as Mim headed out the door. "YOU JUST SAID – "
"PHASE TWO!" Mim cackled, bolting.

"She always meant for the two of us to clean up the entire shop, didn't she?" Rémington sighed.

"Of course she did," Aghoul groaned.

Jasmine, Kazuichi, and Pacce ended up getting a table at a larger restaurant, one with golden-colored walls and open windows. As Pacce looked over his menu, Kazuichi babbled on: "Can you believe it? For serious? I never even thought about how magic could DO things like fix up relationships that didn't go right, and here I have it all ready to go!"

"It wouldn't be 'fixing a relationship that didn't go right,'" Jasmine insisted, brow furrowed. "Kazuichi, you can't use that potion."

"But the woman said!" Kazuichi argued. "This is supposed to be my happily ever after!"

"Is it Sonia's?"
"Yeah!" Kazuichi said reflexively. Then: "…I mean, it would be, right? There's nothing…wrong with me, is there?"

"It isn't about right or wrong," Jasmine told him. "It's about whether you're the one Sonia wants to be with. I know it seems like you'd just be…making things go the way you thought they should. But Sonia doesn't love you. And if you make her love you, you're basically controlling her mind. You're forcing her to make a decision she would never choose to! If she doesn't choose you, then is she even the Sonia you would want? Because it sounds a lot like you'd be deciding how she acts. Not her."

Kazuichi shifted in his seat. "I guess I…didn't think about that. I was all caught up in how I felt, and…that'd be fffffrickeldy-fracked up, wouldn't it?"

"Yes," Jasmine told him. "It would. You can't MAKE someone love you. It either happens or it doesn't."

Kazuichi placed the bottle on the table, looking into its bright blue depths. "You're right," he sighed. "It's a tempting fantasy, but…this is one thing that SHOULDN'T be real."

"Besides," Jasmine asserted, "you don't even know if that potion is safe. It was handed to you for free by someone you don't know. What if it's poison?"

"Who would wanna poison me without knowing who I am?" Kazuichi asked.

"I think you know what kind of villains are out there," Jasmine told him. "Kazuichi…you're my friend. I want to protect you from the things that could hurt you. But I also can't just hold my tongue if you're about to hurt someone else. I need to be honest with you, and I think that if you use that potion to make Sonia attracted to you, it'll be nothing more than a lie. And if it gets physical, then that would mean – "

"WHOA," Kazuichi realized. "Okay, okay, hadn't thought about that part."

"Don't hurt her like that," Jasmine warned.

"I won't," Kazuichi sighed. "Man, it's a good thing I have pals like you, Jas. …You okay if I call you that?"

Jasmine smiled. "It's better than 'Miss Jasmine.'"

"Cool, Jas. Thanks for helpin' me work it out."

"Um…I have to go to the bathroom," Pacce brought up, squirming in his seat.

"I'll take you," Jasmine volunteered, getting up from her seat. "Let's go!"

She walked away with Pacce, disappearing among the sea of tables. Kazuichi grasped the round bottle of potion in his fingertips, sloshing it around. He allowed himself one last fantasy of winning Sonia's heart before he got up to toss the bottle out and give up on her forever.

That would have been where it ended, were it not for, quite literally, a fly on the wall – one with a stocky pink body and purple wings.

Mim had expected something like this would happen. That was why being able to shift shape came in incredibly handy. She'd witnessed the whole conversation, hoping for just enough luck that Jasmine would abandon the table at some point. It all lined up exactly as she'd hoped; she didn't even have to come up with an excuse to get the boy out of the way or keep him silent.

With a buzz, Mim landed on the floor, then exploded upward from her insectoid shape into an exact replica of Jasmine, voice and all. She sauntered toward Kazuichi at his lonely table with a swing of her hips.

Kazuichi had risen, bottle in hand. "Jas? What's up? Where's Pacce?"

"He's a big boy," Mim told him. "He can use the bathroom by himself. Sit down. There's something I wanna tell you."

"O…kay?" Kazuichi took his seat once more, the bottle lightly clinking against the tabletop.

"I thought about it some more," Mim told him, "and I changed my mind. It actually might not be so bad if you use the potion on Sonia."

"Um…why not?" Kazuichi asked her. "Where's this coming from? This is weird…"

"Well, Aladdin didn't exactly tell me the truth when he seduced me, did he?" Mim said with a wink. "I realized that when it comes to love, we all need to chase our dreams. When you fall for someone, it's meant to be. Sometimes, it just needs a little push to fall into place, is all."

"That doesn't sound like what you said a minute ago," Kazuichi pointed out.

"I know I said things that convinced you," Mim told him. "Is it so hard to believe you said some things that convinced me? There really isn't anything wrong with you that Sonia would hate so much. It won't be a lie. It'll be getting everything into place. She'll be happy that you helped her make up her mind anyway."

"Make up…her mind?" Kazuichi repeated.

"Oh!" Mim gasped. "I wasn't supposed to tell you that! Well, the cat's out of the bag now. Sonia was having a little trouble deciding between you and…you-know-who. That's why she turned you down. She just wasn't sure."

"Then why did YOU say she didn't love me?" Kazuichi asked.

"Because she asked me to keep it a secret," Mim replied. "Princesses have each other's backs, after all. I would've gone to any lengths to protect it, even lie about it. But I slipped up just now. If you use that potion, you'll be able to help her heart settle."

Kazuichi regarded the bottle with doubt.

Mim reached out, placing a hand on the hand of Kazuichi's that grasped the bottle. "Trust me," she said. "I really, really think you should go for it. Would I give you bad advice? You know you want to, deep down."

Kazuichi looked up to meet Mim's gaze – ah, how beautiful those eyes were. Then he gave her a firm nod. "Okay," he said. "I trust you." Then he broke into a smile. "Then it's gonna happen! Miss Sonia and I are finally gonna be together!"

"If you want more of my advice," Mim went on, "wait for her to come to you. I'm guessing she'll probably want to talk to you more very soon. That's when you can make your move."

"You think?" His eyes were sparkling again, like they did when trains were brought up.

"I know." Mim chuckled. "Oh, and let's keep this our little secret, okay? We wouldn't want this to slip out by accident. Let's not even bring it up between us until after you and Sonia get your happily ever after. Hide that bottle, too. Let's not spoil the surprise."

"Got it! …But I thought you thought it was dangerous?"

"Let me see that." Mim picked up the bottle, pulling it away from Kazuichi and pretending to inspect it. "Actually, I know this potion! I've seen the exact same one made back home in Agrabah. It's safe. Don't worry."

"AW, YEAH!" Kazuichi cried.

"Now, wouldn't you know, I have to use the bathroom myself," Mim said coyly. She got up, sauntering away from the table with a far more seductive walk than Jasmine would use if not trying to distract a horrid villain (or during certain very, very private marital moments).

Kazuichi slipped the bottle into one of his pockets, where it just managed to fit without attracting attention. He still thought that what Jasmine had said earlier had a point…but he did still really, truly wish to make something work out with Sonia, something more than the friendship she had offered.

If Jasmine herself had doubled back, it couldn't be that bad of an idea, could it?

The real Jasmine returned to the table with Pacce. Kazuichi didn't think much of the timing. They ordered pitas, and Kazuichi ended up with a side of French fries that got dipped directly into a chocolate milkshake as Pacce asked him more about trains.

...

Atop a tall, steep mountain on a remote island, a fortress was situated. It looked every inch the base of a wicked supervillain, which was fortunate, since that is exactly the sort of person who lived there.

Inside, gadgetry gleamed with neon and laser, stirring up new energy sources here and there. The walls were mostly red, matching the uniforms of the army of minions who patrolled the base on guard for intruding threats, which they did as breaks between their coffee and donuts rather than the other way around.

Today, however, the conference room had been dusted off. Quite literally, as it hadn't been used to draft a scheme since the current owner of the base had moved in. He'd never really seen a need for a room that would seat more than two. However, after so many failures had left him empty-handed in the evil department, he had settled on a new direction: gathering as many like minds as he could find in the same room and creating a think tank of pure evil.

Which wasn't really that palatable of an idea at first, given that he'd worked with most of these people before and hadn't been able to stand a lot of them, but somehow, he kept coming back to the thought, and it definitely wasn't because he desperately wished he had a pack of evil friends to laugh with.

A projector screen had been set up at the far end of the conference room. The four who had been assembled for the purposes of this strategy meeting were seated around the shining crimson table, looking various degrees between eager and apathetic at the blank screen. The fifth present, the ringleader of this entire operation, stood before them, pointer in hand.

He was of average height and build, though, really, his long navy-blue coat made it look like his shoulders were just a bit broader than the reality. His black hair was swept back into the smallest of ponytails, threatening to go completely untamed if not restrained. His smile was wide with malicious glee, and his eyes sparkled with the prospect of ill-gotten gains. One of those eyes had a small scar situated just below it. Most strikingly of all, his very skin was a soft yet distinct shade of sky blue.

This was Dr. Drakken, and he presided over the very first meeting of what he had determined was the Drakken Crime Syndicate.

"Fellow villains," he began in an even tone. "We are gathered here today because – "

He did a double take, counting the people at the table. "…Weren't there supposed to be seven of you?" he asked in confusion. "What happened to the old guy and his son?"

"Ye didn' hear?" The response came from a short, stocky man bearing a short yet thick brown beard and clothed in a tartan kilt. As was customary, this man, Duff Killigan, was not far from his weapon of choice; a set of golf clubs was positioned in a bag that was propped against his area of the table. "The Seniors decided to go an' give up evil. Daft decision, if ye ask me."

"WHY WOULD ANYBODY GO AND DO A THING LIKE THAAAAAT?" Drakken whined in dismay.

"Apparently," a posh voice scoffed across the table from Duff, "Senior felt it was simply time to retire, and that he'd worn out all the good schemes." The speaker, one Monty "Monkey Fist" Fisk, was clothed in jet-black kung fu attire, loose to allow for a wide range of movement – as one would need if they, as Monty did, had gotten their joints modified to more simian flexibility for the purpose of ancient monkey-related martial arts. "As for the boy, he's managed to get himself laughed out of three different reality shows based around 'talent.' If nothing else, he's earning his keep as the most infamously terrible singer in the world."

"I've watched all the memes based on his auditions!" a bespectacled and heavyset woman with short, dark hair chirped; her attire was pink, fastened at the zipper with a beanbag otter that featured iridescent wings. "Not that it's funny to laugh at others who can't sing, but some of those edits are just so ceeeee-ute!"

This was Amy "DNAmy" Hall, perhaps the person Drakken had been most reluctant to invite to the summit. After all, their last alliance had possibly been the most uncomfortable partnership Drakken had ever been in. (At the end, anyway.) However, he had to admit she had the brains and the skill to complement the rest of his rogues. "Disgusting," he sneered, wrinkling his nose. "To think anyone would turn down the occupation of villainy in favor of – REST AND RELAXATION! Doesn't anyone know the value of hard work and manipulative scheming anymore? Oh, well, no matter. What happened to the other boy I invited? Don't tell me HE'S reformed, too."

"Oh, he's got a few more minutes left on his mutation," Amy related. "I'd peg it at about fifteen, tops."

"Well, go tell him to hurry it up," Drakken sneered. "I'm trying to have a meeting of the minds!"

"Yeeeeaaaaah," the last person at the table snarked, "see, you're implying that there's actually more than one functioning brain at this table." This woman, slender and athletic, was Drakken's longstanding partner in crime, Shego. Her thick raven hair flowed down to her waist; her light-green-tinted skin was offset by a bodysuit of black and green.

"I know I'm the one that functions," Monty droned. "How would you classify the rest?"

"Oh, monkey man got jokes," Shego snapped back.

"You can't rush mutation!" Amy insisted in response to Drakken's query. "He simply REFUSED to show up unless he was picture-perfect, and I can hardly blame him! He's just going to look so ADORABLE when he's all done! I'm just so proud of him! Getting used to such drastic mutations and using them for such twisted schemes at such a tender age – "

"I'm not waiting fifteen minutes for him," Drakken groaned. "One of you take notes or something so we can catch him up later."

"Not it," Shego and Monty chorused.

"Already on it!" Amy was jotting down introductory points in a bright pink heart-shaped notepad, a feathery pink pen serving as her writing utensil.

"Fellow villains," Drakken began again, starting to pace back and forth before the table. "Those of us who actually have respect for the craft are assembled here today – "

"If ye wanted ta get the best o' the best," Duff asked, "then why no' invite yer cousin?"

"I'm not inviting MOTOR ED to the DRAKKEN CRIME SYNDICATE," Drakken seethed. "He doesn't have the REFINEMENT."

"And you do?" Shego snorted.

"Oh, what about that delightful man who does villainy on a budget?" Amy suggested. "Francis!"

"I'M NOT INVITING FRUGAL LUCRE!" Drakken raged. "I have invited ONLY THE BEST VILLAINS – "

"Then where's Professor Dementor?" Shego teased.

"THIN ICE, Shego," Drakken told her. "You're walking on it."

"Mmkay. Yeah, that doesn't scare me."

"I HAVE INVITED ONLY THE BEST VILLAINS WHO RESPECT THE ART OF SUPERVILLAINY," Drakken continued, "TO UNITE FOR THE GRAND PURPOSE OF – okay, is anyone else going to interrupt me?" He slumped. "I'd prefer you get it over with now."

"I was just thinkin' ye said ye'd be providin' free food," Duff piped up. "An' I've yet ta see a decent haggis."

"I promised PIZZA AND DONUTS, not HAGGIS," Drakken reminded him. "And the delivery is running several hours late for some reason. That pizza better be free after all this hassle! Anyway, is everyone done interrupting?"

A pause.

"Speak now, or forever hold your peace."

"I actually despise pizza," Monty said quickly. Then he nodded. "That will be all."

"Now, then!" Drakken continued. "We are assembled here today for a common goal: to succeed where in the past, we have failed! Our combined efforts together will result in an evil upheaval the likes of which has never been seen before on this planet! …'Evil upheaval.' Hmm. Not an intentional rhyme, but I'm keeping that to use for later."

"Gotcha covered!" Amy chirped. "Evil…" She jotted the words down on her notepad. "Upheaval!"

"Furthermore," Drakken went on, "this may very well be our only chance to finally DESTROY KIM POSSIBLE AND HER SIMPERING SIDEKICK!"

"NOW you have my interest," Monty said with a grin.

"To begin," Drakken opened, "I was originally going to present to you a rather well-thought-out scheme involving taking over Bueno Nacho at the management level, hijacking several advanced robotic toys to reprogram for evil, and diverting Kim Possible's attention with a syntho-drone designed to act as the perfect boyfriend. However, I was informed by…sources…that the robot thing is kind of something I've done a few times before…or a few hundred…and that there are unfortunate implications to assuming Kim Possible's greatest weakness will be boys. No matter what all of the hip teen mags on the shelves tell me."

"Yeah," Shego asserted, "say one more time that a woman's biggest weakness is falling for some hottie and I'm gonna rip your head off for real this time. Also, if I never hear the words 'hip teen mags' come out of your mouth again, it'll be too soon."

"So, instead," Drakken suggested, "after another painstaking twelve hours of research, I present to you our new plan!"

His free hand grasped a remote from within his pocket, clicking a button. "BEHOLD!"

Nothing happened.

Frustrated, Drakken punched the button several times in a row. "Nngh…stupid…thing…you should all be beholding by now…"

At last, the projector clicked on. "AHA! BEHOLD!" Drakken slammed the pointer into the image on the wall. "The Time Monkey! An ancient artifact that – "

"We already went AFTER the Time Monkey," Monty sighed.

"…We did?" Drakken asked. "I have no memory of this."

"Even you can't be that moronic," Monty groaned. "We launched an entire expedition to find the artifact."

"Only ta find out tha' it didn' even exist ta begin with," Duff piped in.

"Er…no," Monty argued. "We definitely found the Time Monkey."

"No, we didn'!" Duff growled. "Are ya sayin' me memory's faulty?"

"Yes. I am. Because I DISTINCTLY remember discovering the Time Monkey, body and head!"

"I really don't think we ever did this," Drakken pointed out. "Unless you two went ahead and did it without me. Why would you do something like this without me?"

"YOU WERE THERE!" Monty and Duff both barked.

"Guys!" Shego snapped. "For those of you who believe the Time Monkey existed, what exactly did you DO with it once you found it?"

"Why, we…we…" Monty faltered. "You know, now I can't remember. All I know is that we found it."

"Obviously, we tried to do something with time travel," Shego sighed, "we messed it up, and now the entire plan was ERASED FROM HISTORY."

"Awww, and whatever I came up with that involved time travel was probably such a good plan, too," Drakken mourned.

"I highly doubt it," Duff grunted.

"I guess we'll never know NOW, will we?" Monty grumbled.

"Time…Monkey…erased…from…history," Amy muttered as she jotted down her notes.

"Well, fear not," Drakken stated. "As usual, my intellect has filled in to save the day."

"In what universe is that USUAL?" Shego asked.

"Ignoring that," Drakken told her. He punched the button on the remote.

The item on the screen was now a metal cylinder. "The pandimensional vortex inducer!" Drakken cried.

"UUUGGGHHH," Shego groaned. "WE ALREADY TRIED TO STEAL THAT TWICE! IT DIDN'T WORK!"

"Yes, well, obviously there's a REASON we keep coming back to it, isn't there?" Drakken argued. "It's objectively the best evil device in this world there is to obtain and twist to our nefarious purposes!"

"Objectively so?" Monty sighed. "You couldn't be more wrong if you shot in the dark. The actual most useful object to us in this world is the Lotus Blade. Perhaps we should make an expedition to retrieve that sword. After all, Yamanouchi's elite cannot stand up to our combined might, can they?"

"Yer bonkers in the brain, as usual!" Duff insulted. "The best thing we could use ta do evil is the Centurion Project!"

"The what?" Drakken asked.

"Ye know!" Duff reminded him. "The thing we 'ad that big brawl over on 'alloween night! 'Twas the ultimate armor, an' Kim Possible ended up usin' it against us! Do ye seriously not remember?"

"Oh, yeeaahhhh," Shego realized. "That was a thing."

"It is starting to ring a bell," Drakken mused.

"IT SHOT LASERS AN' BEAMS!" Duff yelled. "HOW DID YE ALL COLLECTIVELY FORGET THE THING EXISTED FER OVER A YEAR?"

"We've done a lot of plans!" Drakken defended. "They start to blend together after a while! I only remember the actually UNIQUE technology I've been after! Which is why I know what we should be going for is the pandimensional vortex inducer!"

"Technology," Monty scoffed. "The Lotus Blade is above such base devices. Magic is the true power in this world."

"I'm not lettin' the Centurion Project go," Duff insisted. "Yer passin' up the ultimate armor!"

"Guys. GUYS." Shego put up her hands to get their attention. "Why don't we just cut to the chase? The point of all this is to end up with a lot of money, right? So let's just run a new search engine for 'extremely valuable' and 'heavily guarded' and see what comes up. We find whatever is going for the highest bid on the black market, we GET it, we SELL it, END OF PLAN."

"But that cuts out all the fun parts!" Drakken argued. "Where's the scheming? The doomsday device?"

"The taunting of our archrivals?" Monty added. "The besting of our foes on the battlefield?"

"I didn' build my entire identity aroun' golf just ta do easy little schemes that didn' involve me usin' GOLF," Duff argued.

"While you boys make some thirty-step runaround plan that requires you to build a super robot mech suit, become the new chosen one of the enchanted sword, and play around on the putting green," Shego argued, "I'll be the one getting us ACTUAL RESULTS."

"Ngh…" Drakken gritted his teeth. He hated that it had come to this, but there was one really great mediator on the team, and it was time for her to put that skill to use. "Amy…what do YOU think we should do?"

"I just want us all to get along!" Amy cried. "They're all such good plans! …Well, except for the Lotus Blade."

"Keep your bias out of this, woman," Monty seethed.

"YOU CAN GO JUMP IN THE LAKE!" Amy yelled at him.

Drakken pointed back and forth between the two of them. "Ummm…what's this?"

"Yer really outta the loop, aren't ye?" Duff sighed. "They been bitter exes for a while now."

"Exes?" Drakken repeated. "When did THAT happen?"

"When SHE," Monty explained, "devolved from a rational ally into an overly emotional simpering STALKER."

"YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!" Amy accused. "AND IT WAS WORSE TO ME THAN ANYTHING I EVER DID TO YOU! I WAS READY TO MUTATE INTO A WHOLE NEW BODY JUST TO BE WITH YOU!"

"AND AS I'VE TOLD YOU, I'M NOT READY TO AGREE TO THAT LEVEL OF COMMITMENT! I MERELY SUGGESTED WE NEEDED SPACE!"

"SPACE? THAT'S JUST MAN-CODE FOR WANTING TO BREAK UP WITH ME!"

"Greeeeeaaaaat," Shego sighed. "Now we have to deal with THIS every time we wanna get the band together."

"Shego was right!" Amy huffed, folding her arms. "Women like Kim don't need men! No plan would ever work that involved assuming she would just get obsessed over some…some JERK LIKE MONTY!"

"Amy," Drakken reminded her, "obsessing over men has literally been the core of most of your schemes. Me…Monty…that substitute teacher with the deep voice…"

"The point is, whatever HE wants is the only plan I won't do!" Amy insisted.

"All right, we need a tiebreaker," Drakken sighed. "How long left on the kid?"

"Not long," Amy related, considerably lacking in pep. "He should be in any minute now."

"Well, we need to settle on a plan!" Drakken groaned. "How is it that assembling the greatest supervillainous minds of this world hasn't already resulted in the entire world bowing to us?"

An unfamiliar voice sounded from the conference room doorway: "Perhaps that's because you're thinking too small. People of your caliber should be able to achieve a little more than just the world, I would think. Also, if you need someone to decide on a plan for you, I'm more than happy to cast the final vote."

"Eh?" Drakken looked to the door in confusion, as did Shego, Monty, Duff, and Amy.

Mozenrath strode into the room casually, the Huntsman and Hämsterviel in tow. "Before you ask," Mozenrath said with a sly smile, "yes, I ran into the guards. No, they didn't give me any trouble whatsoever."

"Also," Hämsterviel said as he held up a chocolate donut, "we ran into your refreshment courier en route to your sanctum of sinfulness. I hope you do not mind we took the liberty of liberating said libations." He began to nibble on the donut in a most rodentlike way.

"Though whichever one of you put the anchovies on their half of the pizza," Mozenrath sighed, "I'm already disappointed."

"Who are YOU supposed to be?" Drakken cried in alarm.

"I dunno," Shego said with interest, "but I already like his style."

"WhaaaAAAAT?" Hämsterviel cried. "How can you have forgotten me so soon, you STUPID SCIENTIST!"

"Wait a minute." Drakken ducked to look beneath the table. "You! Hämsterviel!"

"VIEL!" Hämsterviel cried. "It is pronounced – "

"I said it right," Drakken told him flatly.

"He said it right," Mozenrath and the Huntsman chorused in monotone.

"…Oh," Hämsterviel realized. "Well, then." He went back to his donut.

"I just didn't see you there, since you're so…ahem…fun-sized," Drakken muttered as he stood to full height. "All right, what do you want now, and who are these new minions? They look like they just got here from a costume party."

"Like any of you can talk," Mozenrath grunted.

"I think ye can go back ta Party City where ye belong, laddie," Duff snorted.

"Is that any way to treat a guest?" Mozenrath replied. "Let alone someone who made short work of your entire battalion."

"In my defense," Drakken sneered, "it was never an impressive battalion."

"Ooh, self-burn," Shego hissed.

"Now, if I may point out what interests me." Monty crawled up onto the table, scuttling on all fours until he was face-to-face with the Huntsman. "Which would be you, as a matter of fact."

"Fisk," the Huntsman practically growled.

"You KNOW EACH – " Mozenrath shook his head. "Of course. Two of the most prevalent villains on this world. Of course you know each other."

"I provided him with three highly valuable jade idols of considerable magical power," the Huntsman related. "He, in turn, paid their worth. However, when it came to the fourth and final idol, he decided to instead enlist a teenage mercenary who would work for free."

"You understand good business, do you not?" Monty challenged smugly. "I paid what we agreed upon. You were never under contract for all four jade monkeys."

"It was implied."

"Ah, ah, ah! You should've gotten it in writing."

Now the Huntsman didn't regret never telling Monty the truth about Yono, and he regretted that they'd obviously intercepted him before he could've gone the Way of the Yono.

"Now, now," Mozenrath broke in, "water under the bridge. I say we burn that bridge and move forward. After all, this is a room filled with the greatest evil minds this world has known, isn't it? And we all want the same thing, don't we?"

"Erm…world domination?" Drakken suggested.

"Unlimited power?" Monty added.

"Free reign ta golf?" Duff asked.

"Life-sized, sentient mutant Cuddle Buddies that snuggle with you whenever you need snuggles?" Amy guessed.

"An actually competent boss?" Shego sighed.

"All of the above, and more," Mozenrath told them. "I represent what you might call…an enterprise. We call ourselves the 'WHAM ARMY.'"

"What kinda name is 'WHAM ARMY'?" Duff chuckled. "Didja come up with that after a golf ball knocked ye in the noggin?"

"It kinda sounds like an acronym," Drakken mused.

"Got it in one!" Mozenrath confirmed. "The acronym, I mean. Not the golf ball. I've assembled a team of villains from every corner of existence to chase down dominance over our very own empire. And with power and a place to use that power, you end up reaping the little rewards. Like golf or ethically unsound mutations. Whatever the dream, consider it come true. But teamwork is what makes the dream work, and I need your team in order to realize my dream."

"Really." Drakken sighed. "You just waltz in here, knock out my ENTIRE guard, and expect me to believe you want to make FRIENDS?"

"Would you have let me in if I knocked?" Mozenrath asked.

"If you'd come with pizza and donuts, yes," Drakken said, deadpan. "Seeing as that's what we ordered. It's a classic villain gambit."

"I…can't actually argue with that," Mozenrath realized. "But where's the flair in such an ordinary con job? I'm to understand that everyone in this room is a cut above your ordinary street thug. You aren't just villains. You're SUPERvillains."

"And you're offering us a contract to work for the man who used to be on MY payroll," Monty snorted.

"I think you'll find challenging my role will hardly end well for you," the Huntsman growled.

"I dunno," Shego said. "I get good vibes off these guys. So. What're your names?"

"I am Lord Mozenrath," Mozenrath stated, "and my ever-loyal companion is the Huntsman."

"Mozenrath?" Drakken repeated. "Sounds a little pretentious, don't you think? How'd you come up with that one, anyway?"

"IT'S MY ACTUAL NAME," Mozenrath growled.

"See, that's your first mistake," Drakken told him. "You never go with your actual name. You have to pick something memorable, something that'll strike fear into your enemies' hearts. Like 'Dr. Drakken.' Or 'Shego.'"

"Or 'Duff Killigan'?" Duff broke in.

Drakken fired him a glare. "We've talked about this, Killigan."

"I'M NO' CHANGIN' MY NAME TA 'DIABOLIGOLF.'"

"Back on topic," Drakken steered, "what makes you think I'm going to work with Dr. Hämsterviel again? You think I'm really going to put up with someone who does nothing but insult me all day?"

"Uhhh, Dr. D?" Shego put up her hand. "Case in point right here."

"…Fair," Drakken relented.

"Have we not all traded friendly banter before?" Mozenrath posed. "We're villains. We know how this works. And believe me, you'll find SOMEONE back at base who will think you're the best friend they've ever had."

"Hmmm." Amy tapped her pen against her chin. "I don't know. Trusting someone we just met might not be the best career move. How do we know this circle of friends is gonna work out?"

"Not to AGREE with Amy," Monty spat, "but what proof do you have that you ARE cut from our cloth?"

Another new voice intruded, though five present already recognized it; "Oh, trust me. He's one of us. More specifically, he's just…like…me."

Mozenrath turned to see who had spoken –

And flinched, unable to hide his visceral disgust.

The youth might've been human, once, Mozenrath determined. But right at that moment, all he shared with the human race was the build – slender, agile, two arms, two legs, a head. Beyond that, he was all fish – or maybe ninety percent fish, ten percent frog. Pure red eyes offset vibrant green skin. Webbed hands ended in sharp claws. Continuously secreting dark muck obscured the boy's body, making Mozenrath unsure whether he was actually wearing any clothes or not.

"I don't see how I can be ANYTHING like you," Mozenrath growled. "All offense meant."

"And yet none taken," the boy went on. "Do you know why?"

"No, nor do I care, but you're obviously about to tell me."
The fish-boy took two squishing steps forward, tapping one claw into Mozenrath's chest – smiling as the sorcerer instinctively recoiled. "Because I can see it all in your face," the fish-boy informed him. "And I hear it in the way you talk. You're the kind of person who's been capable of great things, but you got knocked over by some loser squeeb and had to spend the rest of your life making up for it. You're the kind of person who takes what he has and makes the most out of it. You're the kind of person who spent most of his life in some dark, abandoned corner of the world coming up with all the things you were gonna do to the people you hated once you got your big break, and then you followed through on it!"

The analysis actually made Mozenrath reconsider his revulsion. His entire musculature relaxed, slightly. "That's…surprisingly astute. I'm guessing that's your story."

"Yeah," the fish-boy confirmed, removing his claw from Mozenrath. "And as you can see, it ended with me sacrificing my very humanity for ultimate power! Now, I am superhuman!"

"I do know a thing or two about sacrificing for power," Mozenrath admitted, a smirk creeping up his face. He liked the way the fish-boy talked: confident, cold, smug. "Now, I have profiles on Drakken, Shego, Monkey Fist, Killigan, and DNAmy, but I don't seem to recognize you from the files of this world's most wanted."

"That's because I haven't had a chance to show anybody what I can REALLY do yet," the fish-boy told him. "But with DNAmy's genetic mutation keeping me green for good, that's all gonna change!"

"And is there a name to go with that mutation?"

"As a matter of fact," the fish-boy said with a smirk, "I am known as Gill. Formerly Gil."

"…Am I supposed to – "

"I ADDED AN L!" Gill cried. "IT GOES! WITH! MY MUTATION!"

"Still not as fortuitous as 'Monty Fisk' so conveniently translating into 'Monkey Fist,'" Monty muttered. "Just saying."

"Well, Gill with two Ls," Mozenrath greeted, "you can call me Mozenrath."

"Though I believe," the Huntsman broke in with a glare, "what I have called you is the Lake Wannaweep Monster."

"Wait a minute!" Gill cried. "That uniform! I know you! Or at least, I know who you work with."

"The Lake Wannaweep Monster was a menace that terrorized the forest," the Huntsman growled. "A small radius of destruction, but a poignant one. I sent my remedial troop of Huntsboys to destroy the creature, hoping it would improve their skill. Not a single one returned."

"Oh, they were remedial, all right," Gill teased. "Most of them didn't even know how to swim. What, are you mad 'cause I drowned your squeebs?"

"Truth be told, mildly annoyed at most about that particular incident," the Huntsman replied. "They were, after all, horribly incompetent. If you hadn't culled them, the dragons would've. The principle of the matter, however, is another beast entirely."

Mozenrath quickly positioned himself between the Huntsman and Gill, looking to the former with a gentle plea. "Now, now, let's not let old grudges ruin new opportunities. There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but this one's a catch."

The Huntsman recoiled. That couldn't mean what he thought it meant, could it?

Mozenrath spun back to face Gill. "He'll get over it," the sorcerer dismissed. "What matters is that I'm rather attached to you. And upon closer examination, you actually aren't THAT repulsive."

Now the Huntsman was furious with Gill's existence for a completely different reason.

"Are you serious?" Gill replied. "I guess I need to work on my repulsion factor, then. I want to make people sick on sight."

"A fish after my own heart."

The Huntsman was watching his boyfriend flirt with a cryptid and he was not happy about it in the slightest. "May we please return to the matter at HAND?" he snarled.

"Of course." Mozenrath strode to the front of the room, cape billowing. Once he stood beside Drakken at the table's head, he explained, "I know the idea of trusting your partnership to an alliance you barely know is probably suspicious at best. And believe me, once we tell you the whole story, you're going to be even more – "

"You're from another planet," Drakken sighed, "or some other dimension."

Mozenrath practically choked. "HOW DID YOU – "

"You came with Hämsterviel. The ALIEN."

"…Okay, that is true," Mozenrath realized. "But the picture is bigger than even you realize – "

"Parallel universe theory dictates infinite possibilities," Drakken said casually. "You're about to tell us that you're from some kind of…magic desert or living fairy tale."

"WILL YOU STOP DELIVERING THE HOOK OF MY REVELATIONS?" Mozenrath roared.

"Actually," the Huntsman commented, "Dr. Drakken's keen observational mind will serve us quite well in the long run."

"THANK YOU!" Drakken cried, gesturing to the Huntsman with both hands. "DID YOU SEE THAT? THAT'S CALLED A 'COMPLIMENT'! YOU ALL NEED TO LEARN HOW TO DO IT! Except Amy. She does it too much."

"Aww, you're too sweet," Amy cooed.

"Case in point," Drakken seethed.

"I do see a potential benefit to this alliance," Monty pointed out. "After all, the Huntsman does spectacular work, even if none of it gratis."

"And the little hamster is just so cuuuuuuute!" Amy squealed.

"I am not CUTE!" Hämsterviel argued. "I AM – wait. You really do think I am cute?"

"I've known Mozenrath for about five minutes now," Shego pointed out, "and I don't hate him. That's saying something."

"I guess this makes as much sense as anythin' else ever does," Duff relented.

"All the same," Mozenrath went on, "to get us all on the same page, I'd like to propose a little heist in four acts. Think of it as a team bonding activity."

He held out his right hand, an illusion image glimmering into view atop its palm. "Behold the pandimensional vortex inducer," he stated. "To make a very long story short, I need to be able to tear several large holes in the fabric of space. Help me get the vortex inducer, and you'll be able to reap all associated benefits of said ruptures. That's part one. Part two…"

The image changed to a floating katana, rotating slowly over his hand. "The Lotus Blade, currently guarded by Yamanouchi Academy of ninjas. Known for its ability to shapeshift into any weapon and slice through almost any material. With that sword in our hands, we'll be almost unstoppable. Note the 'almost.' It's not a one-hundred-percent guarantee. If you want THAT, well, then you'd have to talk about part three…"

Now the image was of a small silver bracelet. "The Centurion Project," Mozenrath went on. "An unassuming trinket to the naked eye, but Dr. Hämsterviel has assured me that it's literally the greatest trick you can have up your sleeve. It uses a stress-activated system to transform into an indestructible suit of armor with multiple weaponry functions."

He closed his fist, dismissing the image in a puff of blue smoke. "As for part four," he concluded, "once we're properly armed and ready with the Lotus Blade and the Centurion Project, we then proceed to simply round up anything and everything of value on this world, particularly the items that are heavily guarded, and pawn them off to the Huntsman's clients in the magical black market, where both magical and nonmagical items are appreciated." He looked out over the conference room. "Any questions?"

"No," Drakken said tentatively, "not a question, per se…it's just that…"

Mozenrath turned to him and raised a brow. "It's just that what?"

"It's just that those are the exact things we were talking about stealing before you came in," Drakken informed him. "We just couldn't decide which one."

Mozenrath was frozen into unresponsiveness.

"Truth is stranger than fiction," Monty confirmed.

"…Well then." Mozenrath regained his composure. "We'll just have to split up our objectives. Instead of collecting just ONE, we'll divide into three teams of three in order to collect the vortex inducer, the Lotus Blade, and the Centurion Project. After that, we rendez-vous at the holding location of the first valuable we intend to sell off and make an offer the owner can't refuse."

"That way, EVERYONE gets to be happy!" Amy cried. Then, upon realization: "Even MONTY. Oh, rats."

"LET IT GO, WOMAN!" Monty yelled.

"It only goes to show that great minds think alike," Drakken stated. "We will mobilize at once! And, er, don't put DNAmy and Monkey Fist on the same team. Or DNAmy and me, for that matter."

"All in favor of the plan?" Mozenrath asked.

"Eh, why not?" Shego replied.

"Like I said," Duff asserted, "as much sense as anythin'."

"I'm in," Gill stated.

"Oh, you KNOW I'm there, handsome!" Amy chirped.

"Don't call me that," Mozenrath told her.

"You can be assured you have my assent," the Huntsman stated.

"It is so crazy, it just may work!" Hämsterviel agreed.

"Then it is unanimous!" Monty stood to full height on the table. "Our crime syndicate shall raze the very world, harvesting its most powerful aspects for ourselves! We shall unite with forces from beyond our plane! WE SHALL BE – "

A chime sounded from the phone in his pocket. "Forgive me," he said, interrupting himself to sit in a lotus position on the tabletop. "It is time to center."

He closed his eyes, oblivious to the world.

After a long pause, Mozenrath asked, "Is he…?"

"Going to be meditating for about ten minutes?" Drakken sighed. "Yes."

He'd produced a small paperback booklet, sitting down at the table. "I can tear out a sudoku puzzle for you if you want," he offered, setting to work filling in numbers on grids.

The others had all settled in to wait out Monty's meditation. Shego was flipping through a book of her own, calling out to Mozenrath, "Hey, newbie! What's your star sign? I'm gonna figure out your Animology."

Duff was engrossed in a game on his mobile phone. "I'm about ta show these wee birdies the real meanin' of 'angry,'" he muttered after scoring low.

Amy was lost in a romance novel, sighing at the steamy chapter. Gill craned over her shoulder to see what she was reading, and Amy instinctively smacked the book into his face. "Young MAN! You're not old enough to be reading this kind of book!"

"I'm eighteen," Gill argued, "you're NOT my mom, and I KNOW how – " He paused, screwing up his face at what he'd just read. "Is…that even physically possible?"

Mozenrath looked around at everyone, then to the Huntsman and Hämsterviel. "It's…"

"Absolute chaos," Hämsterviel sniffed. "Do not say I never warn-ed you."

"It's just like the WHAM ARMY back home," the Huntsman filled in, and this was what Mozenrath was looking for.

The sorcerer slumped into a chair, leaning over the table and grumbling, "I'll take one of those sudokus."

...

Terra Glockenchime's great tower had been destroyed no less than twice in recent times: first by the iron fist of Cyclonia, then by the WHAM ARMY's rampant destruction. However, upon Merlin's last visit, he had taken it upon himself to restore the tower: a task that had taken up a lot of energy for one go, but one he found important nonetheless.

At the zenith of the clock tower was situated a grand device: a sphere surrounded by three brass rings that spun at differing angles from one another. At a definite rhythm, this device emitted a strong shockwave, on and on, unending. This marked every second passed in Atmos. This device, the Timepulse, was the guiding sonar for every navigational instrument in the air.

Within the tower, the keeper mopped his brow, reclining on a chair made of brass that matched the shine of the gears that protruded from the walls. Stuart had been with the tower through thick and thin, even when it was rubble on the Terra. Short and slight, he hardly seemed the type to be able to maintain upkeep, but it was his pride and joy to do so.

The chamber where he relaxed was situated behind the clock face, whose semitransparency offered him a blurry view of the Atmosian vista. Stuart smiled, feeling the soft thrum from the Timepulse above and looking out over the calm landscape.

"Ah, yes," he said in a heavy Glockenchime accent (which, on many worlds, would be construed as a German one). "At last, mein tower shall never fall to evil hands again."

A hauntingly familiar voice struck a chill through his spine: "Are you sure about that?"

Stuart leapt up from the chair, spinning to face the newcomers who had strode into his chamber. "MASTER CYCLONIS?"

Yet it was not Cyclonis he saw. He beheld a blonde woman, absolutely gorgeous to his eye, who clacked and clattered her way into the room, taking up the entirety of his vision.

Cyclonis gritted her teeth. Amora's choice of wardrobe was bad enough. She'd insisted on getting a complete overhaul for this mission. This had ended in a bodice of green that clung tightly to her form, no sleeves whatsoever, accentuating her chest area. Over top of her shoulders, however, was draped a shawl of sorts made of loose-knit gold chain mail studded with emeralds. Below this was a flowing white skirt that stopped just above her knee, larger emeralds sewn into all of its pleats. Bottle-green leggings flowed into heels an inch higher than usual. Finally, Amora's hooded green cape was twice as long and twice as wide as it needed to be. Yes, it was bad enough she'd decided to wear all of that. It was even worse that she'd managed to position herself at the front of the group, meaning that Cyclonis, Warp, the Dark Ace, and Zhao were all obscured by the fluttering cape.

"You're not Cyclonis," Stuart observed.

"This one's an intellectual," Amora said with a grin. "Maybe even deserving of a kiss."

"UGH!" Cyclonis won her fight for dominance with Amora's cape, clambering out front. "IT IS ME! AND YOU SHOULD FEAR WHAT'S ABOUT TO COME NEXT!"

"Nothing personal," Warp said as he seized one of Stuart's arms.

"It's all just in the name of evil," the Dark Ace agreed as he took the other.

Stuart was launched right through the clock face, shattering it. Halfway through his descent to the Wasteland below, he pulled open his parachute; and a good thing he'd waited, else Warp might've spotted it and gotten a mind to shoot a hole in it to finish the job.

"Destroy the Timepulse!" Cyclonis commanded.

"Don't have to command me twice," Warp told her.

He soared up through the hole in the clock, his cybernetic arm's fingers retracting to reveal a cannon barrel. One well-placed shot shattered the Timepulse into raining shrapnel. The thrum stopped cold.

As Warp returned to the tower, Cyclonis explained, "Now that both this Timepulse and the backup have been destroyed, every airship in Atmos is going to put out a distress signal. Only one squadron will be brave enough to venture here in order to find out just what went wrong…and only one girl will remember how to read the sky-signs to get here without using her onboard navigation. All we have to do is wait, and the Key will come right to us."

"So it's a waiting game, is it?" the Dark Ace commented. He turned to Warp; "Darkmatter. What do you say we test our respective strengths in a duel to pass the time?"

"You couldn't be more obviously flirting," Warp replied. "Not that I mind. I know I'm hot stuff. And truth be told, it's even better knowing you're never gonna get this and there's a chance you'll just go bananas over it. Anyway, I'm down to duel. But whaddaya say we make it a threesome?" He looked to Zhao. "You in, hot stuff?"

"You're the one flirting now," Zhao grumbled.

"It's fun," Warp replied. "The offer stands."

Zhao smirked. "It will be no Agni Kai…but I look forward to seeing which of us prevails."

Within moments, the Dark Ace was using his sword to deflect blasts from Warp's cannon, Warp followed this up by deftly dodging mid-air a fire blast punched at him by Zhao, and Zhao bent over backward to let the Dark Ace's blazing sword pass over him without leaving a scratch.

"This IS a good way to pass the time," Amora said while licking her lips, watching the three men brawl. "Now, if only there were a way to get the three of their shirts off."

"NO!" Cyclonis yapped, already fed up with Amora's lasciviousness.

Outside the tower, a Corridor opened, and Vexen walked through with Ravess, Zevon, Lady Caine, Yzma, and Wuya in his wake. "The compass points past this tower," he observed.

"Strange," Ravess noted. "The Timepulse is broken."

"Not very strange," Wuya reminded her, "considering we razed this entire world for all it was worth. Ahhhh, good times."

"If that were the case," Vexen said with suspicion, "then why would the tower still be standing and only the Timepulse be broken?"

"You don't think what I THINK you're thinking, do you?" Yzma gasped.

"And what do you think I am thinking?" Vexen asked.

"…I was hoping you would say it, and it would look like I'd thought of it before you did," Yzma admitted.

"We may have been beaten here by a competitor," Vexen announced. "Someone else who seeks the Corona gem, and suspects the shattering of the Timepulse will somehow lead them to it."

He looked to Ravess meaningfully. She nodded, mouthing the word "Piper." They both knew.

"And if our rivals believe this act has such merit," Vexen went on, "it stands to reason they know something we don't. Perhaps this is worth investigation. Now, as to arranging a quiet mission to assess our situation – "

"What's to assess?" Lady Caine asked. "I have two huge swords, you have a giant shield, Ravess has eagle-eye aim, Wuya is a one-woman army, Yzma has some new toy she had Herb make that we still have yet to see in action, and Zevon has…potions, I guess. Let's just get in there, knock whoever it is senseless, and pick up the gem."

"These may be MALEFICENT'S forces we are dealing with!" Vexen barked. "Our track record facing them in direct combat is ABYSMAL! We need to approach this with INTELLECT!"

"Well, I'm gonna approach this with a huge sword," Lady Caine decided, withdrawing her crystal-powered blade from her enchanted purse and approaching the tower.

"NOT ANOTHER STEP!" Vexen warned. "IF LOKI IS CAMPED OUT WITHIN THAT TOWER – "

"Then I'll make him pay for what he did to my friends during the Tesseract debacle," Wuya decided, striding after Lady Caine.

"I will FREEZE YOU BOTH SOLID!" Vexen warned.

"And I will shatter the ice from the inside out," Wuya called back casually.

Vexen gritted his teeth, knowing she could and would. "Yzma. Zevon. While they engage in their suicide mission – "

"Oh, you think I'm letting her walk into her doom WITHOUT ME? AGAIN?" Yzma stormed off after Wuya. "NO CHANCE WHATSOEVER!"

"Zevon," Vexen begged, "please. Do not go with your mother!"

"Hmm…" Zevon thought it over. "Do I remain loyalital to my singulolitary family member by blood, who has gracefuliously taken me as her prodigeny with open arms, or do I take the advision of a teammate known only for his insensitultivity?"

Without waiting for an answer, he set off after Yzma.

Vexen heaved a sigh that drooped his whole body forward. "Why is it the same scenario every time? How have they NEVER learned to think before rushing in, despite my best counseling?"

"We don't have to follow them," Ravess reminded him.

"No," Vexen agreed. "We absolutely don't."

They waited in silence.

"And yet we both know we're going to anyway," Ravess groaned.

"If only not to be blamed for our absence when they inevitably fail," Vexen huffed. "Though there is also the possibility to consider that we may come away with the Key after all."

"Why not at least take aim?"

As confidently as they could, they set out together.

"So tell me about this boyfriend of yours," the Dark Ace prompted as he deflected another volley of plasma.

"First of all," Warp explained as he scattered ammo over the Dark Ace and Zhao – both of whom evaded gracefully, which was to his liking – "Nobody's allowed to call him a dork but me. That said, he's a total dork. I like that, though. Makes me smile."

"Ah, so that's the reason you haven't strayed," the Dark Ace suggested. "Your type is less…socially competent."

"Never said you could call him that," Warp replied, miffed. "I'm about to send several blasts directly toward your left shoulder now."

The Dark Ace moved to block them, confused as they ricocheted away. "Your idea of revenge is warning me – "

Zhao took advantage of the opening immediately, as Warp knew he would. A flaming fist blazed past the Dark Ace's right side, catching the swordsman's shirt aflame.

The Dark Ace dropped his sword in order to pat the small flames out. "Touché," he grumbled.

"Look at it this way," Zhao told him. "You finally got to look foolish in front of Darkmatter."

"Thin ice, Zhao," Warp warned, still smirking as he touched down on the ground. "But let that be your lesson. I may be bad to the bone, but I know strength in numbers when I see it. And I know when it's worth more to invest my loyalty than my unibucks."

"A concept I understand you have difficulty with," Zhao accused with a smirk.

The Dark Ace, by all accounts, should have had some quip about how loyalty was overrated. Instead, however, his instinct told him to curl his lip at the other two. A nerve had been touched, and he wanted desperately to show them why his nerves were best left alone, for the sake of everyone's safety.

"You dorks done?" Lady Caine asked as she strode into the room, sword at the ready.

"WHAT?" Cyclonis growled.

"Seriously, you missed the BEST opportunity," Warp said as he shook his head and clicked his tongue. "Sixty seconds earlier, we were actually using the word 'dork.' THAT'S when you come in and call US the dorks! This is Villainy 101. Geeeeez."

Wuya and Yzma then entered by way of synchronized handspring to land back-to-back on the chamber floor, arms outstretched. "HA!" they cried as one.

"WHAM ARMY," Cyclonis seethed.

"Oh, so THOSE are the famous idiots with the dumb acronym," Warp realized. "This should be some fun. Kicking around lesser villains is always a good warm-up for before we have to deal with the good guys."

"I'd be careful who I called the 'lesser villain,'" Wuya warned. "I haven't seen you around these parts before, but I know your type. All science, no sorcery. I could tear you apart in a millisecond."

"That's what I'M here for," Amora intruded, stepping out in front of Warp. "To put upstart witches in their place."

"Shall I just record anything said hereafter on my scroll so we can play it back to laugh at the irony post-victory?" Yzma suggested.

"Not a bad idea," Wuya told her.

Zevon skidded in, pointing an accusatory finger at Amora. "YOU!"

"Me," Amora replied.

"YOU'RE HERE TO INTERCEPTICAL WHAT'S MINE!" Zevon cried.

"What's YOURS?" Amora laughed haughtily. "How amusing, that you think you have any claim to it whatsoever. You wouldn't even know what to do with it."

"You don't know what we wouldn't know how to not do!" Zevon replied. "Wait, was that right?"

"Close enough," Ravess said as she sauntered into the scene.

"RAVESS!" Cyclonis cried, recoiling (out of surprise, not out of any perceived threat).

"I know, I know," Ravess teased. "What are WE doing here?"

"The answer is simple." Now Vexen made his appearance known. "We want the stone you seek. And, regrettably, we are willing to fight tooth and nail to beat you to it."

"Well, then." Cyclonis withdrew her staff, giving it a casual twirl. "You know you're going to have to go through us. Or attempt to, at least. I'm interested to see how long it takes us to burn you to the ground."

Amora let her cape loose, the fabric slithering to the ground to increase her mobility. "Before, I fought your sort with words," she related. "You're about to find out why that's the lesser of two challenges for you."

Warp's cannon clicked. "This is gonna be good."

"I'm inclined to agree," the Dark Ace said with a nod.

"And when we're done," Zhao suggested, "let's be sure to send Mozenrath back a little souvenir to remind him of what he attempts to challenge. He gave his right hand. Why not offer him one of theirs in its place?"

"YOU'LL GET MY HAND OVER MY DEAD BODY!" Zevon cried, pointing at Zhao dramatically.

"That's the POINT," the Dark Ace said with a roll of his eyes.

"Let's just get to the fighting part," Lady Caine suggested. "Your banter is REALLY second-rate compared to WHAM ARMY banter, you know."

"So be it," Cyclonis decided, softly yet firmly.

She, Amora, Warp, the Dark Ace, and Zhao all began to surge forward.

Lady Caine twirled her sword, the rainbow smoke enveloping her and all of the advancing foes. In no time, they were blind. Now it was time for her to get to work.

The problem, of course, was that, having never tested her blade's function in team-based combat, she'd miscalculated her smokescreen radius and ended up effectively blinding all of her teammates as well.

"LADY! CAINE!" Yzma barked through a fit of coughing that harmonized with that from Wuya, Zevon, Vexen, and Ravess. "KEEP YOUR GAY SWORD UNDER CONTROL!"

"Well, sor-ry," Lady Caine sneered. "Guess I have to take care of this one myself."

She rushed toward where she heard sound, blade swinging. It clashed against the metal of the Dark Ace's blade, which became suddenly visible in the rainbow cloud.

"So the girl attempts to test her might against me," the Dark Ace jeered.

"Says the man who routinely gets his butt kicked by a teenage boy," Lady Caine told him. "You have zero room to talk."

Their swords clanged together again and again in the smog.

Wuya kicked her way blindly through the smokescreen until her foot collided with an enemy body. At least, she hoped it was an enemy body. "Please tell me that was either one of the enemy or Vexen," she hissed.

"I HEARD THAT!" Vexen's voice sounded from a completely different direction.

"Ah," said the person she had kicked. "The inferior witch."

The space around the two lit up in a burst of green; Wuya was looking directly into the eyes of Amora. "What is a mere witch in the face of an enchantress?" the blonde challenged.

She then threw out her hand, a burst of green searing toward Wuya.

Wuya countered, energy of a matching green shade colliding with Amora's, stopping it from proceeding as the two blasts fizzled at a midway point.

"See, I always thought 'enchantress' sounded like someone who did cheap parlor tricks," Wuya commented. "Now, a witch, that's a jack of all magical trades."

The two bursts exploded into sparks. Wuya came flying at Amora, fists engulfed in green firebursts. Amora evaded deftly, her own hands glowing for retaliation. Every now and again, one of the women would nearly land a blow, but the other would parry, and the magic that resulted in their hands colliding sent a sonic boom across the entire chamber.

Ravess had positioned herself outside the smokescreen, her eyes searching for silhouettes. An archer's eyes paid attention to detail. They knew the difference between friend and foe. So when she made out the outline of a bulky man who in no way resembled any of her allies, she took aim and fired.

His form spun. A limb struck out. Then, following the trajectory of the arrow backward, Zhao stalked out of the smokescreen, advancing upon Ravess. He raised his fist to show off the arrow enclosed in it: the arrow he'd caught midflight before it could pierce him. With a clench, he snapped the shaft in half.

"Setting an archer to provide cover fire was a tactically intelligent move," Zhao told her. "However, without cover or high ground, you stand no chance against a hand-to-hand fighter."

"Oh, DON'T I?" Ravess challenged.

She lowered her bow, putting her agility to the test as Zhao attacked with fist and flame alike. Her quick footwork and high jumps kept her an inch out of reach at all times.

Cyclonis fired her staff into the smoke with wild abandon, caring not whether she hit friend or foe. A sudden cry let her know of a near miss. "THAT'S IT, YOUNG LADY!" Yzma's voice sounded out. "You're in NO position to insult your elders!"

"Awww, am I in time-out?" Cyclonis said with a false pout. "I have to say I wasn't expecting to be scolded by a warrior past her prime."

"Past her prime?" Yzma cried. "PAST HER PRIME? Well, if you weren't expecting THAT, then I bet you REALLY weren't expecting THIS!"

Yzma withdrew her atlatl. However, this time, its curved segment folded into its handle, not about to throw a dart this time. A silver disc positioned itself atop the rod, expanding outward with the help of a handy little spell that kept its heavy mass stored in a small pocket dimension until needed. "HA!" Yzma cried as she held her new melee weapon aloft.

"…Am I supposed to be looking at something?" Cyclonis asked the general direction of Yzma's voice.

"Wh – YES!" Yzma cried. "It's a HAMMER! I HAD HERB AND JACK CONVERT MY ATLATL INTO A GIANT HAMMER! Now it works for more than just ranged combat! You know! I'll SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER! It's my THING, it's – ooohhhhhhh, this reveal REALLY wasn't supposed to go like this."

"I'd say this is your hint to leave villainy to the young," Cyclonis taunted, positioning her staff at the space where Yzma's voice had sounded.

Before she could fire it, the massive hammer came swinging out of the smoke, slamming into her center and rocketing her back across the clock chamber.

Warp knew to fire when the temperature dropped. His blasts bounced off Vexen's shield, momentarily illuminating it against the smoke that was just starting to clear. "I can feel an ice attack coming from an AU away," he told him. "Frostonium or magic?"

"Magic, in fact," Vexen replied, his features becoming sharper through the smoke as he advanced. "Magic I'm certain you've no idea how to counter. It is as Wuya said. You are all science and no sorcery."

The smoke was clearing all around, giving each a glimpse into the others' fights. Ravess had attempted to use the smokescreen as cover, but Zhao pursued, lighting his way with his own firebending. As he gave chase, a stray flame passed Vexen just a bit too close.

And Vexen flinched noticeably.

Realization washed over Warp. "I know which one you are," he said in a hushed tone. Then, louder: "What's the matter? Afraid to turn up the heat?"

"Certainly not," Vexen said through gritted teeth, concealing a slight tremble.

"Good," Warp told him. "Then let's see what you make of this."

He raised his arm cannon, firing another blast. It bounced off the shield harmlessly.

"Pitiful," Vexen scoffed.

"What, you don't like my crystallic-fusion blaster?" Warp asked. "Is it too blunt for you? Were you hoping I'd try something a little smarter? A little more underhanded?"

"What are you getting at?" Vexen asked.

"Oh, nothing," Warp told him, aiming the cannon once more.

Vexen pushed forward, ready to deflect the next blast.

When he was just close enough, Warp completed his feint. His cannon arm was lowered quick as a wink, and in its place was the arm of flesh and blood, fingers poised.

Decisively, he snapped his fingers.

Vexen instantly lost control.

Frost sprayed; all were touched. Luckily, none pierced through the heart; only dusted with the cold enough to make them falter slightly. The only one spared was Warp; Vexen's outburst had missed him completely in its haste. Vexen now shook visibly, barely able to keep his shield in his grip as he stared at Warp wide-eyed.

"That's better," Warp said smugly. "Hey, Zhao! Finish him off."

As Vexen's brain sparked with the thought that he was, indeed, about to be incinerated, he found he couldn't move a muscle. He could only accept his fate in a state of total panic.

He was bowled to the floor by a physical collision just before a stream of fire surged over where he'd been, instead heating up Warp's metal armor.

"HEY, HEY, HEY!" Warp scolded Zhao. "WATCH WHERE YOU'RE FLAMETHROWING!"

"Perhaps don't STAND THERE out of your need to TAUNT," Zhao growled.

Ravess' own heart was accelerated; she lay atop Vexen's sprawled body in a perpendicular fashion, having been the one to knock him down and save his life. Quickly, she scrambled to her feet, looking down at him in a panic.

Unknowing of what to say, what came out was a condescending "WELL?"

It was all too much. The fire, the snap, the utter foolishness of trying to defeat these foes who were out of Vexen's league, and atop it all, his need to be rescued, his literal fall to the ground where all had seen him freeze up and tremble like a child. Fear and humiliation mixed together into a potent brew.

Without a further word, he cast the Corridor beneath him and sank into the floor. As he righted himself ninety degrees to stand upright in the Realm of Darkness, he closed the portal behind him, leaving Terra Glockenchime behind. After some thought, he opened up a second portal, entering another part of Atmos.

If it had been Ravess who had exited, Vexen would have kept on fighting without her. She knew this. He would probably complain later that he wished she'd have come right after him, but he would have expected her to fight on, to prioritize herself. All he wanted was the right to complain about it. He wanted no part of her pity if it meant sabotaging what victory could be salvaged.

She'd just have to lie to him, then.

Ravess turned tail and bolted for the door. She knew exactly where he would go.

She wasn't blind to the fact that her enemies would take advantage of her flight. She dropped to the floor and somersaulted as a plasma blast and a jet of flame surged over her. When she came to a stop, she twisted back, raised her bow, let off a single arrow that was tipped with something quite different than a crystal.

A net exploded from the arrowhead, enveloping Zhao and Warp. Ravess didn't expect it to hold them. She only needed a brief moment of diversion. As the men struggled against the cords, she completed her escape. She was already gone by the time Zhao thought to burn his way out.

Cyclonis righted herself, standing tall and crying out, "ENOUGH!" She aimed her staff at the Dark Ace, who was still engaged with Lady Caine, and fired a beam of bright red.

It pierced the Dark Ace from behind.

"Wha – " Yzma shook her head. "Wasn't that one your friend?"

"Wait for it," Cyclonis told her with a smile.

The Dark Ace levitated into the air, an orange-gold aura exuding from him. "Ah, yes," he commented as the Binding took over him. "The one thing I don't despise about Master Cyclonis."

Bright phoenix-like wings erupted from his back. He thrust out his hands, and flaming energy poured out over the battlefield.

It wasn't as hot as it looked. However, it was strong enough to act as a tide of pressure. Wuya was knocked head over heels. Yzma toppled back. Lady Caine was thrown against the wall.

"RETREAT!" Yzma screeched, now realizing she and her allies were more than outmatched. "RETREEEEAAAAT!"

"DON'T WORRY, MOTHER!" Zevon rushed forward, making his first move of the battle. "Watch THIS!"

He lobbed a flask; "KA-POW!"

It shattered against Cyclonis. The glass maneuvered around her, shards avoiding piercing her due to her aura. The potion, however, drenched her, and as it set in, she found her Binding interrupted as her body spun round and round erratically out of her control.

"How's THAT for Cycloninian?" Zevon jeered.

The Dark Ace was not simply dropped to the floor. He fell right on top of where Zhao and Warp had just escaped their net and cast it aside to stand beside Amora. Therefore, he knocked all three down beneath him.

As the Overtakers complained and assigned blame, Yzma, Wuya, Zevon, and Lady Caine grouped up. "GAY SWORD TIME!" Lady Caine cried, spinning her blade in a circle.

This time, the smokescreen covered the quartet while still allowing them vision forward, thickening in their tracks. It acted as a cover to allow them to escape down the hallway, Yzma and Wuya once again executing a series of handsprings and other gymnastics while Lady Caine and Zevon followed on foot.

"Wherever Ravess and Vexen gallivanted off to," Yzma growled between flips, "it had better be GOOD!"

Cyclonis' spin finally came to a halt. The Dark Ace had peeled himself off his allies. "Shall we follow them?" Amora asked, the disinterest in her tone indicating she didn't really want to. Judging by the way the three men just stood around her, they agreed.

That was fine by Cyclonis. "Let's not waste time on the fledglings," she commanded. "After all…"

She looked out the clock face. "We have a Condor to catch."

The great metal hull was coming into view; the home ship of the Storm Hawks approached, and all present knew Piper and the Key were both aboard.

"Allow me," Amora suggested, stepping forth with clicks and clacks.

She extended her hands, catching the Condor in an immense tractor beam of green that pulled it in.

Aboard the ship, Piper knew exactly when she'd been caught. "A trap!" she hissed to herself. No matter how she jerked the steering wheel or fiddled with the controls, she couldn't slow the Condor's approach to the Glockenchime tower.

"No, no, no, no…"

She knew, above all, that whoever had her in their clutches couldn't be allowed to take possession of the Key. That was far more important than her own safety. Clutching the deep purple stone, she hurried to her chamber, where she kept several instruments used for tampering with and augmenting crystals.

What she thought of was in no way the best solution. But it was the first one she could think of, and it was better than nothing. She snagged from the shelf another crystal, one that hummed with impatience.

Both crystals were jammed into an oven-like device intended for crystal fusion. Piper gave it far less time than she knew it would take. The Key wasn't designed to be fused; it was made of strong stuff. When she retrieved the conglomerate, it still appeared to be two separate crystals, joined to each other by a single connection point.

However, the Warp Crystal she'd attached to the Key did its job. No sooner had she withdrawn the fusion than it disappeared. Where it went, she didn't know. All she had specified was that it go somewhere she was not.

After that, all she could do was return to the cockpit and wait to face whatever was ready to greet her at Terra Glockenchime.