Bella
After a large helping of vanilla cake, I sat back in my chair, fully satiated. I couldn't remember being this full in a long time. I offered to wash the dishes, a meager exchange for the days worth of food I'd eaten off their table, but Esme waved me away.
"It's Carlisle's turn anyway," she said cheerfully, which earned her a playful scowl from him. He agreed with her though.
"You are our guest, Bella. Please. Make yourself at home." He concurred warmly.
Guest?
I wasn't sure if I'd ever been called that before.
Does that mean I'm welcome here and not simply a burden?
Esme subtly pulled me aside to offer me a pair of pajamas. I accepted, simply amazed I wouldn't have to sleep creasing my uniform like I did each night. We went up the stairs, and we passed a few rooms, until we reached the last door on the left. Esme entered the room with the confident gait of familiarity whereas I was reluctant to step inside the door way.
I hesitated awkwardly outside of the doorway until Esme hastily told me to come in. I followed her into a large bedroom with soft pink and white tones. I was led into a closet the size of its own bedroom, and she pawed through a drawer. When she handed me a new set of pajamas, I was bewildered by the gesture and stood shell-shocked, not knowing what to say.
"I hope you don't mind, they're just cotton pajamas. I haven't worn it, the tags are still on if they suit you, you're welcome to keep them."
Are all wealthy people generous? Or does the generosity not correlate to their wealth?
I was stunned as I stared at the white pajamas, adorned with red hearts. My very first gift. I barely remembered to blink as Esme prattled on about how tall I was compared to her and that the sleeves wouldn't be a perfect fit.
"Thank you Esme." I managed quietly, ashamed I didn't know how to better thank her. She grinned almost childishly, oblivious to my ongoing internal struggles.
"It's my pleasure! Like I said, Edward never had guests over, even while growing up. It'd be nice to get to know his friends outside of just Jasper and Emmett." She gave a cheeky wink towards me before handing me a towel that was so thick and soft it could've easily served as a pillow.
Esme directed me with her elegant hands gesturing towards the bathroom I was to use before bidding me goodnight.
"Thank you again, Esme," I said again behind her figure already trotting down the stairs to join Carlisle.
I approached the first door to the right, like she had instructed, not knowing quite what to expect. I opened the door carefully and was hit by the full force of a mouth watering scent before I knew instantly who the room belonged to.
Edward's bedroom?
The spacious room was bright, open. It didn't contain much to show off his personality. A wide window at the far end of the room had a keyboard placed against it. A guitar was set down against a bed big enough for two.
On the left of his bed was a bookshelf; lined with an array of titles; ranging from fiction, medical journals, and music.
The senselessly large room sat in the center of the room; at its foot was a leather couch. There was an open door across from the couch which I assumed was the restroom. I cautiously stepped inside and turned on the lights.
Holy shit.
His bathroom is bigger than my room was at VOLT.
I suddenly felt too dirty for the white marble bathroom and made it a point to strip out of my dirty clothes immediately. I placed my dirty uniform on the side of the large vanity. I was disgusted to see there was a spot of dried blood on the corner of my skirt that I didn't know about, from the attack with volt.
God, I need a shower.
I made my way to the impeccable white shower, feeling overwhelmed by how soiled I felt in this spotless bathroom, especially surrounded by mirrors.
In my peripheral vision, I caught a glimpse of a womanly figure and I halted my steps.
Wow. My reflection in the mirror made me double take. I wondered for a moment if my reflection belonged to a different person. I gawked, even turned to the side in disbelief.
Ever since I'd fed off of Edward, I looked... healthy. Edward's blood not only healed me; it seemed to make me stronger. My body that originally had thin shoulders, and a skeletal frame, now looked womanly. My previously nonexistent breasts and buttocks sat high and rounded on my otherwise slender figure. My usual moon colored skin was tinged a rosy undertone. The cheeks even had color now.
I look human.
Even my expression was one I didn't recognize on myself. With my blushing cheeks and lips curved into a soft smile, I didn't look like 1906.
I actually look... happy.
Like someone who could have a future.
I sighed and shook my head.
Stop being silly.
I stepped into the glass walled shower and turned on the water. I flinched reflexively as I always did with my arms crossed over my chest, expecting icy water first. I was pleasantly surprised by an immediate cascade of hot water from above me, like rain.
I found myself shivering under the warmth, goosebumps spread across my arms from the euphoric sensation.
This feels amazing! It's an insult to call the showers in the locker room a proper shower after this... I rolled my head back and let the sprays work the knots in my shoulders that ached from sleeping on the unforgiving ground for so long.
I had to remember to cleanse myself after standing in the hot water for much too long. I eyed out Edward's shampoo, it smelled of "aqua reef" I applied it to my hair. As I lathered it into my hair, the familiarity of the scent comforted me and I sighed in euphoric satisfaction. I stopped myself when I realized why it was familiar.
I must've smelled it off of Edward.
I didn't want to admit it, but the scent was helping me relax...
I pushed the irrational thought aside.
You're just excited to be clean at a leisurely pace. After you get out you need to have your guard up. Don't let a shower dismantle you.
It was nice, admittedly to take a leisurely shower. My locker room showers were always severely shortened out of fear of being caught.
After spending far too much time under the spray, I reluctantly turned the water off, and reached out for a towel to dry myself. it The towel was so soft, I hoped to remember the luxurious feeling against my cheek even after I returned to my colder, more uncomfortable life.
I noted the array of products Edward had on his countertop. A lavender moisturizer, hair wax, a razor, shaving cream. He didn't seem to be terribly materialistic.
Hope you don't mind that I steal your lotion, Edward.
It was a luxury to have skin that wasn't dried out from harsh soap.
My body smelled like lavender as I dressed in my pajamas, toweling my hair dry. I opened the door to let the fogged mirrors clear. I began to fill the sink with water, to wash my uniform.
Edward and his family's kindness allowed me to stay out of the rain tonight, but who knows when the next opportunity will come by?
I dunked my clothes in the water when I heard two knocks at the door and smelled the apple scent that permeated the air and made my throat itch.
"Bella? You doing okay? Can I come in?"
"Yeah," I called out. Edward waltzed into the restroom holding some sort of body lotion. I felt the slight burst of heat radiating from his body as he noted me in the pajamas with hearts.
"I brought you lotion from my mom's bathroom. I don't use particularly nice things, so if you wanted to--" his eyes landed on my wet uniform in the sink. "Uh, what are you doing, there?"
Isn't it obvious?
"I'm washing my uniform. You don't mind do you?" I asked. I could tell he was trying to hide a smile as he set the lotion down on the counter and took my clothes out of the sink with a single hand, in a swift motion.
"Hey!!" I exclaimed. He exited the bathroom and stepped into the hallway, pulling open a shutter door I didn't pay attention to. There was a large cylindrical machine that he dropped my clothes into. He tossed something small and colorful in there and closed the lid.
My mouth was agape.
"This is how you wash your clothes?" I asked incredulously.
What on earth is that?
He laughed light heartedly.
"You've never seen a washing machine, I take it?" I shook my head, amazed by the invention. There were many buttons on it, with a multitude of settings.
Does he know how to use all of these settings?
"There's a whole machine for that..." I murmured in awe, mostly to myself.
"The best part?" Edward pointed to the machine beneath it that looked identical. "It dries your stuff too." he gave me a wink.
It's an amalgamated washing and drying device?
I didn't understand the humor he saw in this, but I turned to thank him, anyway. Again, I wished I had more vocabulary for these gestures that seemed too large in my eyes.
"You could've just told me if you wanted to do laundry, you know." He teased. I scornfully glared at him but felt my face warm in embarrassment anyway.
He tilted his head, toward his room, signaling my attention to follow him.
"Come on,"
When I went into the room, I noticed Edward was changing his sheets.
He probably wants to sleep. I can take a hint.
I took the spare towel from the bathroom and brought it downstairs with me before Edward could tell me to sleep elsewhere. I found myself wandering the silent halls with a multitude of strategies in mind.
Where is the safest place to sleep?
Carlisle's office had windows too large, they faced the front of the home. The living room, too, had obscenely large windows with great visibility.
I found myself at the library, with the small love seat.The seat was just large enough to sleep in if I bent my legs. It was covered with an inviting corduroy fabric, and I pulled the towel over myself, happy to be sleeping on something so soft, and closed my eyes.
I was drifting off, and watched nonsensical dreams flash before my eyes when I heard my name being called. I was pulled from the brink of sleep and opened my eyes.
"Bella?" Edward stood in the doorway. "Were you trying to find a good book to read, before you sleep?" I shook my head, yawning.
"No. I figured this would be a private place to sleep in." I lied easily. I couldn't tell him I wanted to sleep here because it contained the least windows in the house. He stared at me, bug-eyed.
"What? You were really trying to sleep on the love seat? I nodded, confused as to what he was asking.
"I was going to give you my bed," He said sheepishly. "I was only changing the sheets for you. I figured you haven't been in very comfortable places sleeping." I felt my body tense at the knowledge.
How did he know?
"Just a wild guess." He added defensively. "In my defense you were trying to do laundry in my sink." He said with a grin, I felt my anger spike to its full potential.
"How was I supposed to know otherwise?" Edward raised a brow at my sudden flame. He gave me a minute to visibly calm down.
"If you ever tell me where you're from, maybe I would know to tell you these things." He said matter-of-factly. I looked away.
"It's not that easy." I murmured. He must've sensed i didn't want to talk about it, and didn't force me. He simply changed the subject.
"Come on, let's get you to a real bed."
Moments later I sat on the edge of a plush bed, yet I felt too dirty, still, to sleep in it.
Edward must've noticed my refusal to lie down. He knitted his eyebrows together.
"What's the matter?"
"I... I don't know. It feels wrong." I confessed.
"Is it too neat for you? I can easily mess it up, if that's what you prefer." He said with a grin.
"No, I just..." He looked sympathetic when my words failed me.
"This is a new experience for you?" He filled in, gently. I nodded.
"Yeah." A mischievous look crossed his face, and his crooked smile made a reappearance.
"I know what'll make you more comfortable. Stay here." He said, moving towards the hallway, and with a joking tone, he added over his shoulder, "and get comfortable!" I reluctantly pulled back the covers against my will and adjusted some of the pillows. If not mentally, at least I was physically relaxed.
Edward reappeared with a tray, two bowls of what looked like ice cream with spoons in them.
"It's not a proper sick day unless you have ice cream in bed." He pulled out a tablet out of the table at the side of his bed, and turned to me. He unlocked it and pulled up an array of colorful, drawn art with titles across them.
"Cartoons?" He asked. I shook my head slowly, not certain what that even was.
"I don't understand." Edward smiled as he set the tray down on the table beside us.
"Whenever I was sick, my mom would let me have ice cream in bed and watch cartoons." He said with a grin.
"I'm not ill." I stated defensively. Does he think I'm ill in the head after doing laundry an unconventional way?
"I know, but we both have some sizeable injuries between the two of us." He said with a grimace, pointing to his ribcage and my stitched up arm. "My diagnosis is that we are going to need extra ice cream, to heal properly."
I cracked a small smile at his senseless logic, and accepted the bowl of ice cream he put in my hand. I eyed it out at its strange color, it was tinted a sea green.
"Is this... moldy?" I asked, poking at the green with a spoon. There appeared to be little brown specks scattered throughout the ice cream too. I eyed them skeptically. Are these insects?
He was fighting back another smile, hoping to not embarrass me.
"Mint chocolate chip. Its an acquired taste, but my favorite." He added. I gave it a reluctant taste, expecting to taste mildew. Instead it was sweet, and reminded me of toothpaste but it wasn't unpleasant. I rather... enjoyed it.
"Good?" He asked me. I nodded, feeling myself smile against my will. He scrolled through the options on his tablet, picked a title, and turned it on. The colorful characters in the imaginary world were funny, I found myself snickering at the fun banter and exaggerated ideas as I ate my ice cream absentmindedly.
Halfway through the show, I caught Edward looking over at me from the corner of my eyes. I caught a smile on his face when he saw me intently watching.
"Did you grow up watching cartoons?" He asked, pointing to the unfamiliar square yellow Zach character on the screen. I shook my head and put the empty bowl of ice cream aside.
"We only watched videos for social education on the outside world. Not that they had plans to release our batch. I think these would've been considered irrelevant for our learning." He made a humming acknowledgment.
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but you seem to have a cynical view on life most days. It seems only when you encounter something that is new to you, there's a juxtaposition on your outlook. Suddenly you're fascinated, optimistic."
I was stunned by his bold, yet terribly accurate remark.
Where did that come from?
Edward was more observant than I'd pegged him to be. He knew he had my attention. He paused the cartoons, and moved the tablet and his bowl onto the table beside us. His eyes intently gazed into mine, as he carried on, softly.
"What made you this way, Bella? So hardened to others, yet so timid inside?" His eyes turned into a green pool, inviting me in, welcoming my secrets. I wanted to look away.
More than that, I want to answer his questions so badly.
"I... don't think you're ready to hear that," I murmured dubiously, turning away. His hand lightly touched my cheek, returning my attention inevitably back towards him in the same way he'd done in the car when I fainted in biology. My heart nearly palpitated at the sensation, and I felt my breath leave me.
"But I am." He crooned softly, his eyebrows knitting together. I irrevocably surrendered to the green sea that ebbed encouragingly in his irises.
"Fine." I breathed. "What do you want to know?"
"Where exactly you came from. The environment that made you who you are."
As if a dam had been broken, the precise wording made me instantaneously want to pour the entirety of my life to Edward. I felt overwhelmed.
I don't know where to start.
But I do want to tell him, finally confide in someone.
I decided to start from the beginning, in a small voice.
"I was bred to be experimented with." I murmured quietly. "When the war was active, vampires were unleashed as a weapon many years ago." It sounded like a tall tale, a legend. I couldn't believe I was telling a human this, but Edward nodded diligently, and reassured me he was listening. "They were a failed experiment. They ended up killing more innocent masses than the armies of opposing forces. And that's where we come in."
"So you're a vamp-" I corrected him instantly.
"We're called 'half breeds.' Vampires were uncivilized, unable to control themselves. Half breads are the cross between a mortal human and an immortal being... The control on the other side still isn't perfect for us, but it is... attainable." A look of understanding seemed to cross his face.
"And 1906, on that bracelet, that was--" the mere sound of the number sent shivers down my spine.
"My serial number. We didn't have names there." I added quietly.
His fingertips brushed the puckered skin on the inside of my arms, leaving a path of heat that dragged beautifully over the unsightly scars.
"And these marks?"
"Were from the machines I was connected to, as they experimented with us, to test our weaknesses and strengths."
"I see." He murmured quietly. His eyes were lost for a moment. "I take it your treatment there was not at all humane." A hint of bitterness I'd ever heard before lingered in his tone.
"The same people that gave me life made me want to end it each day." I admitted.
"What stopped you?" He murmured.
"I... I wanted to prove them wrong." I admitted for the first time out loud. "That I wasn't just a monster. That I deserved more."
But are you, Bella? Do you really believe that?
My eyes welled with tears of frustration, contempt for my situation and I looked away, hoping the light from the screen with the cartoons wouldn't give it away.
I didn't ask to be born like this.
"You are not a monster." He whispered quietly. He cautiously wrapped his arms around me, for the first time, not letting go. "You're no more a monster than I am." I felt his lips by my ear, and felt his mouth turn up in a small smile before he said it.
"You're only human," he whispered. My hands which were at my side finally returned the gesture, and I allowed my hands to return the embrace.
"That's all I wish to be." I mumbled against his chest.
"That's all you are to me." He promised. We stayed like that, for a moment, melded together. The warmth of his body was amazing, as if I was feeling the sun on my skin for the first time. His thudding heart was a constant reminder of his fragility, yet it made me wonder if we could be compatible, even being close like this.
I wish we could be.
"You haven't seen the things I've done to people." I murmured, reflexively trying to prove him wrong, to push him away. He didn't seem to be affected in any way.
"You did this out of survival, right?" I instantly was reminded of the faces of the guards who tried to stop me as I escaped Volt.
The memories played blood red in my mind. The fear radiating off of the guards like a clear aura was something I could instinctively smell, and it only made me want to hurt them more. I could feel the snapping of the guards neck under my single hand, as I threw him into the other guard, sending them both flying to their perils as they flew through what was the glass entrance of the building. The sirens pierced my ears and glass crunched beneath my feet as I stepped on their bodies to run for my life. I never looked back. Never wondered if they were okay, alive, even...
He seemed to see that I was reliving something from the past. He shook his head.
"None of that." He murmured. "That's over. It's just you and me now." His heart was drumming steadily in the air, as his shaking hand brushed a tendril of hair away from my face. The proximity between us had again disappeared. Our faces were so close, I could count every lash, every hair on his eyebrows.
"Is this okay?" He breathed. He touched my face gently, caressing my cheek with his thumb.
"Fine," I whispered, although I had no idea what he was asking permission for. His eyes scanned back and forth between mine, as if he were trying to gauge my reaction while in an argument with himself. I was arguing with myself too.
My heart is fluttering and I feel tense. Am I changing? No... This isn't the same sensation... I'm sure of that.
His face tilted ever so slightly towards mine, and when I saw his eyes close, mine did instinctively, too.
Both of his hands cupped my face gently, as if he were cradling a precious chalice for a king, and he gently pressed his lips to mine. His lips were soft, warm, and I wasn't certain if my heart was beating faster or stopped in my chest entirely.
Perhaps the moment lasted for hours, or only seconds. I was aware of everything yet nothing at the same time. The pounding of his heart faded in my ears, and the warmth of his lips burned my cool ones. I basked in his warmth, bathed in it.
When he pulled away, it felt too soon. We stared at each other in bewilderment, slowly trying to catch our breath.
Neither of us said anything, but the act had made one thing clear. We could no longer deny the pull that we had towards each other. His gesture had made it clear that our friendship had irrevocably grown much more intimate. There was no denying it.s
"We should... probably get to sleep. I managed to murmur. He nodded feverishly, his cheeks and ears were a bright red and offset the green in his eyes like a traffic light, telling me "go".
"Yeah. That's a good idea. I uh, took your laundry out before I came in. It should be ready for school tomorrow."
"Oh. You didn't have to—" He stopped me at once.
"I wanted to." He said softly.
"Thanks." I mumbled, unsure that we should share pleasant talk.
As if this life changing experience wasn't enough as it is...
Once I settled into my pillows, Edward pulled the thick duvet over my body, tucking it neatly under my chin. I raised an eyebrow but couldn't help a small smirk.
"What is this? Am I supposed to be a child now?"
"Just let someone else take care of you, Bella. You might be surprised. It's pleasant when you are able to depend on another person." I was about to scoff but realized there could be some truth in his words.
I no longer need to worry about Volt, now.
Thanks to Edward, the tracker was out, and I'd never need to depend on them ever again.
I wasn't nothing without them, like they said. On the contrary, they were nothing to me.
Just a shadow in my past.
He went to his closet and returned with extra blankets.
"In case you get cold." He said; laying the quilts down by the foot of my bed.
"Are you sleeping, too?" I asked with a yawn.
He nodded. "Mhmm. I'm taking a shower first though. Let me turn this off for you," He gestured to the bed side lamp.
"It's fine, I got it."
We both reached for the lamp at the same time and our hands touched.
The electric sensation returned and both of us stared at each other, unsure of what to do with the sensation.
He swallowed thickly, his Adam's apple bobbed once.
"Well, goodnight Bella."
"Goodnight."
Wait. There was something I wanted to ask you.
I opened my mouth to ask, but the door to the restroom had closed.
I noticed Edward took long showers, I was growing sleepier as the time passed but I was determined to wait for him. I was dozing off as he came out,
He didn't notice I was awake.
I took a moment to gaze at him from my single open eye. I noticed that his hair was a little longer than I thought it would be when it was wet. His grey sweatpants and band T-shirt made him look presentable yet comfortable.
The sleeve of his shirt just barely covered the tattoo in his arm... He settled into his couch across from me, pulling a blanket over his body. His soft exhale of pain did not go amiss.
A few minutes passed and his breathing slowed, just for a moment. I pressed my lips together, unsure if I should bother him, in case he was sleeping. But the question that persisted in my mind pressed on, and I forced a whisper.
"Edward? Are you asleep?" I asked timidly.
"No, what's up?" He asked sleepily.
"Have you ever... done that before?" He suddenly sounded awake, and could practically hear his hand brushing through his thick bronze locks.
"What, kiss?"
"Ummm... yeah." I tried to respond as coolly as I could.
I didn't want him to know how affected I was.
"Sure, I've kissed someone before," he said casually, and I felt my heart drop.
Why do I feel like this?
"Oh," I murmured, and hoped I didn't sound too disappointed. "I see." A single dry chuckle escaped from me. Edward continued, but the tone in his voice was different, softer.
"I can tell you it's never felt like that before, though." He murmured, and I could hear the smile in his voice, as if he was imagining the moment in his mind. He must've snapped out of it.
"Anyways. Goodnight, Bella."
"Goodnight," I mumbled into my pillow, doing what I could to muffle the smile that spread wide across my face.
I couldn't stop thinking of the tenderness in his voice:
"It's never felt like that before."