Edward and I got home late from Jasper's. We shared a continuing fit of laughter as the effects of alcohol winded down, the entire distance we walked from Jasper's home to his.
"You didn't know white claw was an alcohol!" Edward kept snickering. I punched his arm, hard enough to show him I was annoyed, but not hard enough to hurt him.
"How was I supposed to know, I lived in a metal box,"
For the first time, I was able to laugh in hindsight at my past situation. I laughed so hard I nearly tripped on the steps up to Edward's house. Edward caught me by the elbow and propped me up. Our eyes met as we again burst out into an uncontrollable fit of laughter.
Edward was chuckling as he punched in the code to his door.
"I can't with you. You're so funny, Bella." He opened the door and swept his arm to invite me in. "Oh, sorry. Forgot the Vampire rules. Did you need a verbal invitation, before you can enter?" I punched him again.
"Shut up, Edward."
I noticed there were drops of water on the ground, and I looked up to the sky. Storm clouds were rolling in, covering the twilight sky with a mass of grey clouds.
"It's going to rain." I said to no one in particular.
"Hurry up and come on in, then." Edward responded with a grin.
We stumbled up the stairs and when I tripped on one, Edward was roaring with laughter.
"Clumsy!" He exclaimed.
"Shh!" I shushed him with a hiss. "Your family is asleep!" He shook his head, waving a hand at me.
"Heavy sleepers. Don't worry."
We made it into his room and he pulled open a drawer. I saw it was full of black T-shirts. He pulled one out, along with a pair of shorts and handed them to me. "You can change into these." I thanked him and ducked into the bathroom to change.
I stared at myself in the mirror, the red glow I'd caught in my reflection earlier was fading from my face. The liquid courage I'd consumed only lasted for so long; now I was back to reality.
You can't keep assuming Edward is safe with you.
Even if you are safe from Volt, he is not safe from you, not by any means.
You can lead a normal life. But eventually you will have to leave him.
I felt sullen as I returned to the bedroom. Edward had changed into a t-shirt and his sweatpants as well, and was pulling down the cover of his bed down for me. He gestured for me to climb in, but I wavered in my decision.
How do I tell him that I can't get attached to him?
That I trust him, but I still cannot fully trust myself with him?
When I stopped short of the bed, Edward noticed the hesitance on my face.
"What are you waiting for?" He asked.
"Do you want to trade? I can take the couch tonight. Your ribs are still recovering." I reminded him. He shook his head.
"I'll be fine, Bella. Fast healer, remember?" I bit my lip.
I owe you so much. I avoided his eyes, hoping he wouldn't see the guilt encapsulated in them.
"I know that face. What are you thinking?" He asked me. When I didn't respond, he added, "And why do you look so guilty?"
How does he read me so easily?
"You offer me all you have. And I have nothing to offer you in return." I murmured, with a shrug.
Even though I am coming to terms that I can have a normal life, I can't help but believe you deserve more.By more, I mean a life without me in it.
Edward
I couldn't believe the words coming out of her mouth, and I instantly felt sobered by them. Amber eyes looked shyly to the floor. She had no idea how beautiful she was, how precious she was to me.
Did this girl truly believe she had nothing to offer the world?
She gave me the only thing she had, that was kept closely guarded to her heart. She gave me her trust.
What could be more valuable than that?
In turn, she gives a vivacity to my otherwise ordinary small town life. She made me see there were things I'd never understand, and it made me want to try.
To say she was significant in my life was an understatement.
Bella
"I don't think I do enough for you. Especially given that material possessions never mattered to me." He said with a shrug. "You're all I dream of." He said with a nervous smile. I sensed that his words were genuine, but the tone carried an innuendo I didn't understand.
"What brought this up?" He asked with a raise of a brow. I shrugged, shaking my head as I reluctantly climbed into the bed.
"It's nothing." He looked doubtful, but dropped it anyway.
"Get some sleep." He tucked the covers over me, as he did the previous evening.
"Goodnight, Bella." His tone was light, and I wondered what he was really thinking.
"Goodnight."
Edward
Bella was in my dream for the first time in a few days. I suspected this would be an ominous dream, though she appeared innocently sitting on my bed, in my bedroom.
"Run." She'd whispered to me.
"What? Why?" I managed to ask.
"This is your last chance. Before I end up destroying you, and every last thing you care about most." I saw her face relax, from her usual expression, to one that I'd never seen before.
She looked removed from herself, somehow inhuman.
"What do you mean?" I saw Bella physically change before my eyes. There were veins beneath her eyes that ran a dark purple against her skin, making winding paths up to her eyes from her cheeks. She closed her brown eyes, and when she opened them, any traces of amber were gone. Her irises and even the whites of her eyes were a pitch black, an endless pit. She gazed at me with no reflection in her eyes.
"Bella, no," I choked out.
Are you still there? Or did the other side take over?
"You make me stronger." She whispered, but her speech was becoming distorted from her teeth elongating, each one was an inch long, and pointed. They looked sharp, and too big for her delicate lips.
"No, Bella, you don't have to do this--"
"But I do. I was bred for it. I'm the deadliest weapon." She leapt at me with an incredible strength, sending me flying off of my feet and back against the floor.
I awoke with a start, cursing under my breath when my tender ribcage resisted the sudden motion.
I held my ribs with a hand and caught my breath, focusing on willing my heartrate to slow.
"Let me go," I heard a soft mumble from Bella. I turned to her.
Did she have vivid nightmares too?
Poor thing. Her fists were clenched over the covers, and she struggled with locked elbows, as if she were restrained.
"Bella?"
Bella
When the shroud of sleep covered me, I was taken to the last place I wanted to be. I was laying on my back on the metal table at VOLT.
I knew it. I knew I wasn't safe.
"No," I gasped, the scenery, or lackthereof was all too familiar. The room smelled of some sort of pungent chemical I couldn't name. My wrists were shackled to the table, and the usual wires were connected to me on the insides of my arms through needles. I heard the loudspeaker in the room, and Aro's voice filled the air like a poisonous gas that drifted in.
"Bella? Is that what they call you now? Are you having fun playing human, 1906?" His laugh echoed the steel room in a ghostly way and I desperately wanted to disappear from the noxious room.
"I'm no different than anyone else," I defended myself. "I deserve a chance. Let me go." I growled through my teeth. I tested the shackles at my wrists and ankles, but they were made of silver, and it wouldn't allow me to muster the strength to push against it. My wrists and ankles felt boneless. My head was becoming light from the smell that was permeating my nostrils.
What is that smell?
"You thought you could outrun us, 1906." His voice was sickly sweet. I struggled to focus on what he was saying with the strong smell in the air. He continued, with his elegant requiem. "We'll destroy everything you care about. You will be sorry."
I remembered the name of the smell, too late.
Gasoline.
The steel room suddenly set itself ablaze and I screamed as the heat exploded all around me. I felt the flames lick my skin and smelled the burning of my hair.
Wake up, wake up!!
I had managed to shake myself awake, and I gasped in air, panting when it wasn't deep enough.
"Bella?" Edward's voice came from beside me. He was at my bedside, already awake. "You okay?" He handed me a glass of water, which I gratefully accepted with two hands, spilling a little as they shook.
"Yeah." I gasped after I downed the glass. "Just a bad dream." I murmured, mostly for my benefit than his.
It was just a freak dream.
Volt can't find you. The tracker is out.
There was a pattering sound outside, and I could see rain drops beating against the windows, hear it against the leaves on the trees outside. It brought me back to my surroundings.
You're in Edward's room. You're safe.
For now, anyways.
I shivered, though the room was warm. Edward's touch on my shoulder brought me back to reality.
"You were struggling in your sleep." He murmured.
"Was I?" I asked weakly. A loud boom sounded outside and I jumped at the sound, instinctively bringing my arms up towards my face in a defensive stance.
Did they finally catch up to me?
Are they bombing us?
Edward offered me a soft smile of sympathy.
"Scared of thunder?"
Thunder. Thats a natural phenomenon, right?
"Is that what that sound is?" I whispered breathlessly. He nodded, leaning against the edge of my bed.
"Yeah. Don't worry. It's just electrical energy from the clouds that flows to the ground. Mother Nature. Nothing we can control." He said with a reassuring smile. I nodded, but couldn't shake the feeling of fear.
The fear that volt had finally caught up to me, that somehow they knew...
They could hurt Edward, couldn't they...?
"It's still early." Edward commented. "You should go back to sleep." Another crash of thunder resounded and I jumped. I looked at him sheepishly, at my reaction, mentally slapping myself out of shame.
"You're right. Thanks." I murmured. Edward gave me another smile and stood gingerly, and turned back to his couch. My resounding thoughts rolled in as fast as the storm clouds had, tumbling through my mind like a dark tumbleweed. It consumed every part of my mind that it rolled through.
What if they do get you?
Edward's face yesterday flashed into my mind, as he tucked me into the covers. His lips curved up into an angelic smile. What did he say?
'There's nothing wrong with depending on another person, Bella.'
Another bolt of thunder shook the air around us, and my body rattled along with it.
I was at a cross roads with myself.
I didn't want to harm Edward. Yet I... craved his courtesy towards me.
Can I lean on you for comfort?
I recognized that the genuine fear within me was one that I couldn't shake alone. I sat up in bed, before I could change my mind.
"Edward?" He had just settled into his spot on the couch, and raised his eyes up towards me. He saw the trepidation in my eyes.
"What is it?" He was at my side before I'd even asked.
I bit my lip, unsure of how I was going to word my spontaneous and irrational request.
Would he think I'm childish for even asking? The rain sounded deafeningly loud against the window.
"Do you think?..." He raised an eyebrow. "Do you think you could sleep here, tonight?" I gestured towards the empty side of the bed. He looked taken by surprise, but agreed with a nod.
"Yeah. I can do that." He replied nonchalantly. "I'll take the other side of the bed." Edward walked around to the other side of the bed, and pulled up the covers. He slid into them easily and put an arm behind his head
He was a couple feet away from me, yet, when he pulled up the covers over his body, it was as if it formed a heat wave that flowed under the blanket we shared.
So warm.
He stared at the ceiling for a little while, seemingly lost in his thoughts. I stared at his side profile, at the wild tufts of hair that randomly stuck up, at his straight nose and sharp jawline. He rolled over when he felt my gaze and propped himself up on an elbow.
"Do you get nightmares, too?" He asked softly. I detected an empathy in his tone, a commonality.
Your dreams plague you, too?
His eyes looked like smooth grey river-stones in the moonlight that streamed in against his face.
"Yeah. Sometimes." I admitted. His eyes were lost for a moment, as if he was replaying a dream of his. He shook his head only slightly, and raised his eyes back up to mine.
"What do you dream about?" He asked quietly.
"Usually about running away from VOLT." I answered automatically, and Edward's head piqued up in interest, surprised that I could finally offer him the truth voluntarily without him prying it out of me. "Sometimes, I have dreams about them finding me." I confessed with a shiver.
Thunder struck outside with ill timing and it made me wonder if even the sky knew where I was hiding. I flinched again at the resounding rumble.
Edward must've felt it, he reached under the sheets to take my hand. It was luxuriously warm against my cold one and I felt my breath escape me for a moment. He squeezed it tight.
"They can't find you." He whispered reassuringly. "We took the tracker out, remember."
"Yes. I do. It's just--"
"Old habits die hard." He finished for me. The silence around us was multiplied by the sudden absence of thunder.
"Yeah. Exactly." I murmured breathlessly. I turned to face him, and studied his expression.
His eyes were ever compassionate. The kindness was clear in his face.
Surely he could see the darkness in me.
His eyes flickered back and forth between mine as he gauged my reaction. His hand left mine for a moment, only to relocate itself to my cheek. I closed my eyes at the touch, reveling in both his physical heat and his benevolence.
"I feel like I've known you in another life," I heard him confess in a whisper. I opened my eyes to find his fervently gazing into mine.
A pang of sadness struck me, as I wrestled with my internal struggles.
I wish I'd known you in a past life. Away from Volt, away from the monster they'd created me to be.
"I wish I did know you in another life." I murmured sadly, looking away.
I wish I could've been born into someone kinder, smooth. Without scratches or sharp edges. Someone who'd be well suited to you.
A strand of hair fell into my face, and I hope it shielded his view of my eyes, where he always seemed to read me first.
He pushed a tendril of hair away from my face. His touch was as usual, electrifying.
We stared at each other, like that.
"I'm falling so hard for you, Bella." He admitted. "I'm smitten." The intensity in his eyes were effervescent as his eyes flickered between mine. He seemed to hold his breath as he waited for my response.
Yet I didn't know what to say.
Edward
Fuck. I'd said it.
I finally admitted I liked Bella. In front of her.
Well, it's not as if you hadn't dropped hints on the daily since the first time you met, this shouldn't be a surprise to her.
I saw her eyes widen, perhaps in surprise. She bit down on her lip and I could hardly hear over my heartbeat racing in my ears.
"Thank you." She finally said indifferently.
Thank you? Wtf.
What is that supposed to mean?
Is this the reaction to expect after you profess your affection to someone?
She continued with a hesitance, a reservation was present in her voice. "I think you should chase someone else though."
"Why do you always say this?" I returned readily.
"I'm not good enough for you." She said, looking away from me. A flare of something came over me, was it frustration from her rejection? Anger from her self esteem that did her no justice?
I've never felt so compelled to show someone exactly how I feel...
"That's not true, and I know that's an excuse."
Whoa. Where'd that come from?
"Admit it. Are you afraid of me chasing you? Or are you afraid to admit that you want to pursue me?" She didn't reply. She looked as if the wind had been knocked out of her.
"What do you want?" I reiterated, more composedly.
When she didn't answer, her eyes on the floor, I immediately regretted my impulsive behavior.
Fuck. You didn't have to be cocky.
"I'm sorry. That was forward. I didn't mean to press you." I said, softer this time.
"No, you're right." She conceded. A crackle of thunder resounded, making her timid voice sound infinitely softer. "I am afraid for how much I care about you." Ai thought I caught a hint of color that tinged her cheeks when she added, "You're the only person I think about other than myself."
She thinks about me? Cares about me?
"I just... I don't think you understand how dangerous I can be." She murmured softly.
"You're overthinking." I fortified the barriers she held up against her as if they were low hurdles. I could see it in her eyes, the set of her eyebrows that had softened, ever so slightly.
She was beginning to believe me, too.
She was good for me.
Even if she didn't know it yet.