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Edward
The sun was setting and we grudgingly left the meadow. We held hands over the console as I drove us back home. In the rear view mirror, I could see the setting sun leave the sky in flames behind us. I looked over at Bella. She, too, was watching the sky with a wistful expression. I was amused to see that her lips were still a little swollen, and was a soft rose color against her pale skin.
Beautiful.
I can't believe she let me kiss her like that.
I was over the moon, even after the sky darkened, after I'd parked the car and still giddy as I pulled out her chair at the table to have dinner with my family. My mom had set the table with crab cakes, coleslaw and lemonade ready for us. I remembered thanking her though my mind was elsewhere. Bella exclaimed as usual and dug in happily, always fascinated by the many traditional dishes my mother made.
I can't even focus on food.
My family exchanged small talk that I subconsciously tuned out. I found myself instead staring at Bella, at the shape of her lips as she closed it around the straw of her lemonade. I reminisced the soft kisses we shared in the meadow, the sharp breaths of air she gasped in when I touched her neck. I was entranced by how her lips tasted on mine and the way the sun had warmed her hair to a liquid ebony in my hands.
My god, you are obsessed.
This infatuation was worse than the weeks I was plagued by the dreams. Now my dreams had become a reality, and Bella was my walking dream come to life. Then, I had every hope that we were somehow destined to be together. But I didn't imagine it to be anything like this.
I still haven't told her about my dreams... she'll think I'm so creepy, at the very least.
What was the saying?
'Don't ask, don't tell?'
'Ignorance is bliss?'
They all applied here, in some sense I supposed.
"...Can you guys hold down the fort for us?" I barely caught the ending of the question, I was still engrossed in my own thoughts.
"Edward?" I sat up straight. My mother's eyes were trained on me and I blinked back into a conscious state. "Your father, Rosie and I are going to a conference in Portland. We'll be leaving tomorrow morning and then be back the next day." She added. It was Carlisle's turn to speak.
"You guys will be fine for a day, right, son?" My father had concern lined in his forehead. I looked to Bella before I answered, she looked nonchalant and I nodded my consent.
"Yes. Of course, sir. We can do that." Both my mom and dad scowled at the honorific but thanked me nonetheless. My mom began cutting into the pie she made for dessert as she made her ordinary small talk.
"So what were you two up to, today?" Despite the conventional question, we both darted glances at each other.
"Nothing." Bella said nervously at the same time that I blurted out, "We went to a park." Both of my parents gave each other sideways glance. Carlisle wiped his mouth with a napkin, but I could see it was only to hide a cheeky smile.
"As long as you had a good time." He said with a wink towards me. I slumped into my seat, as if I could melt out of it and disappear straight through the floor.
Please just let me die before my parents can embarrass me any more in front of Bella.
That evening after dinner, I waited for Bella to finish showering. I laid back in bed, plucking random notes on my guitar until they began to drift into a familiar melody. It took me a moment to recognize it, but this was the song I wrote when I surfaced from the depths of the dark dreams.
I never did tell Bella I wrote her a song...
Would she find it endearing? Or just creepy?
Probably the latter.
Bella stepped out of the bathroom on cue, as if she knew I was thinking about her. I grinned at her, in her well-timed entrance and freshly-showered glory. I noticed her hair looked an oily black when it was wet, like caviar. The harsh disparity of inky black against her creamy skin created a soft almost glowing effect. She stood there for a moment, just returning the smile.
I set the guitar down with a hand and pulled back the covers on the left side of the bed. It had become natural for us to share this space, even if we were on opposite sides. It usually left me a little too nervous to sleep--at least for the first half hour.
Bella approached the bed with some reluctance this time, I saw it immediately in the wavering set of her eyes. They gauged the distance between herself, the bed, me, and the bed as she hung back.
You can't hide from me, Bella.
"What is it?" I asked her gently. I extended a hand, beckoning her closer. "Something the matter?"
Something you wish to share?
"Is it--" It seemed a struggle for her to find the words she looked for. She blew a frustrated breath out as she climbed into the bed. She rolled onto an elbow to face me. I mimed her motion, propping myself up on an elbow to offer her my full attention. Bella's expression was both childlike in its frustration yet stern, as she stared at me.
Her heart print pajamas are so cute on her. They didn't match how dangerous her personality was, how addicting her touch is... "Is it... bad that I enjoy sleeping beside you?" She asked with wide eyes. I shook my head vigorously.
No, Bella. I feel the same way.
"Not at all. It's a fact that humans sleep better when they're not alone." She nodded excitedly, and I hesitated before I told her the next part.
"I also think it's natural to do so, when two people care about each other." Her cheeks turned a faint pink and she bit her lip, at the mentioning of that.
"Is that what this is?" She murmured softly, she shyly traced my fingers on the bed with hers. "We're two people that... care about each other?" She looked up at me for my response and the air felt charged with electricity. I found myself lost in the amber fossils of her eyes.
Is she asking what the nature of our relations are?
What are we, anyway, since we morphed from friendship into this organic sort of roommate situation? I don't even know.
"We can be whatever you want us to be. 'Boyfriend and girlfriend' might be a more traditional term, but if that makes you feel more comfortable, I don't see any harm in calling ourselves that." I said with a blasé shrug, but I could feel the charge on my fingers where she touched me.
"And... when one is in this status, it's okay to do things like kiss, and share a blanket?" Her cold fingers intertwined gracefully with mine and I nearly lost my mind. Dark eyes shyly peeked up at me from her eyelashes, as she searched my expression.
I felt the blood leave my head as I contemplated the innocence in her question. It made me wonder just how much Volt had taught Bella about procreation.
Is she teasing me about sex, or does she genuinely not know what it is?
I decided to play it lightly, on the safe side until I knew for certain.
"As long as both parties are comfortable with it, I don't see why not." I tried to sound informal, and unpremeditated, but I could feel my heart pounding out of my chest despite the nonchalant shrug. Bella bit down on her lower lip, her eyes darted away.
Why did she seem at unease, more so than usual?
"Does that mean it's okay... I mean, would you mind if I slept closer to you tonight?" My mouth felt like cotton.
Wow. Where did she work up the courage to ask that?
"Yeah. Of course, come here," I said, my voice suddenly became huskily. I extended my arm for her to join me on the other side of the bed. She settled on curling into my side, resting her head on my shoulder. I wrapped an arm around her, marveling at how soft she was in the right places and how well she fit into my body.
The intensity of the tingling never ceased to fade. It made my heart pound, and I caught myself staring down at the glimpse of cleavage between the folds of her pajama blouse for a moment too long.
You sick pervert. I forced myself to look away. I felt her sigh once against my shoulder before she settled in, letting her head rest fully on me.
"Are you comfortable?" I asked, for the first time feeling more skittish than Bella. She nodded her head against my shoulder sleepily, sighing once in contentment against my shoulder. Her breath was cold as it danced against my neck, and it carried a scent that was as perfumed as it was cold.
"Goodnight, Edward." She sighed against my shoulders.
"Goodnight," I told her chastely, despite the erection that was beginning to get uncomfortable in my pants.
Think unhappy thoughts. Any thoughts.
Be a nun. Priest. Saint.
Whatever the word is.
I woke with a cloud of mahogany hair around my face on the pillows. The scent I was breathed in from it was familiar, and all too faultless. The perfection of the scent was a direct indicator of who it was, even in my disoriented state.
Bella?
At once, I was hyper-conscious of the fact that my arms were cradling Bella, housing her in my embrace throughout the night. The room was still dark, my eyes couldn't make out much more than shadows; I settled on relying on my senses to tell me where exactly I began and Bella ended.
Bella's face was pressed against my shoulder, her cold breath wafted on my neck, carrying goosebumps along the fragile skin there.
I was all too conscious of the smooth legs that tangled with mine under the thick blanket. Though my arm was numb under her head from the lack of proper circulation, I couldn't complain.
I would wake up to this face, every single day, if I could...
I breathed in the sweet scent of her hair once more before I pressed a kiss to the top of her head. I wondered if she'd wake, but she didn't stir.
She looks so peaceful.
I noticed with pride that she slept much more soundly these days.
She had finally broken her habit of waking up at dawn.
Sleep was no longer something she feared. In fact, she seemed to take joy in resting leisurely now, instead of waiting for her body to shut down on her from sheer exhaustion. I was pleased to see a hint of a smile on her sleeping face, it nodded to my affirmations.
I was nearly convinced that Bella was nearly recovered from her darker days. The paranoia that seemed to eat her before slipped away each day, and this new, sweet (albeit timid) Bella seemed to fill her shoes.
"'Would you mind if I slept closer to you tonight?'" Her sweet voice paired with the innocent request resonated in my head and it made me want to squeeze her tighter.
How adorable.
My eyes gauged the physical distance between us in the darkness. There was none.
Even the closed distance was a huge step in trust. Especially considering how highly strung her interactions with people had been only weeks prior.
I heard the soft sounds of my parents voices floating under my door. I looked to the clock. It was only six am.
That's right. The conference in Portland is today...
I sighed regrettably. Despite every molecule in me that wished to be warm in bed with Bella against me, I knew I had to offer a hand to my parents this morning.
I gingerly slid my arm out from under Bella's head, and replaced it with a pillow. She sighed once against the pillow and didn't stir. I carefully pulled the covers over her pale shoulders.
Get some more rest, Bella.
I opened the door to the hall and was careful to close it silently behind me. I padded my way down stairs to find my mom already dressed in a blazer and dress pants, a coffee mug in hand.
"Good morning," She smiled at me with precisely applied red lipstick. She looked so put together, I wondered passively if she needed my help at all.
She set aside her own mug to pour a coffee for me.
"' Morning," I mumbled, trying to straighten my sleep-mussed hair. I gratefully accepted the mug of coffee and after blowing over the top of it, took a sip.
I noted the coffee was fragrant, mom had put caramel and cream in it, the way I liked it. I sipped leisurely with my eyes closed, just enjoying the smell of the coffee. When I opened my eyes, Esme was studying my facial expression behind my mug.
Why does she look so pensive?
"Edward, young man, I know it's only be 24 hours but are you sure--"
Ugh not this again. No wonder she was ready early, she wanted to ensure there was time for lecturing.
"We'll be fine, mom." I cut her off to save her from rambling, in hopes I could finish my mug of coffee in peace.
Too early for this.
Her eyes flitted about, as if she were looking for things to worry about, tasks to delegate.
"If you could take out the trash after school," I waved her off with a hand and a thumbs up.
"Consider it done."
She's more nervous than usual, I wonder what's gotten into her..
Esme's wide eyes now landed on the kitchen sink, and she pointed towards it.
"Make sure you wash the dishes after yourselves,"
"Okay, I do anyway." I said pointedly. I could see her at a mental crossroads, she'd already said everything, yet there was one thing left to say. My mom's voice dropped down to a whisper, and I knew what she was going to say next.
"And please promise me again you'll take care of Bella, she's still recovering, not to be taken advantage of--" I set my coffee mug in the sink, annoyed this time.
"Geez, I got it, mom!" I exclaimed. Her expression softened.
"Okay, son. I'm just checking on you." Carlisle had entered the kitchen with good timing, the saving grace.
"Morning son. Do you think you could give me a hand with the bags?" I'd never been so grateful to extend my help.
Shortly after, I helped them pack what little needed to be loaded into the car for a day's trip. My mother's hands kept fluttering over both Rosie's car seat, adjusting her blankets this way and that. I set the last of the bags in the backseat at a hastened pace, looking up at the window that belonged to my room.
Is Bella awake?
"Are you sure you'll be okay?" Esme asked for the millionth time.
"Yes, mom. I'll be fine." I said with as much patience as I could muster. I offered a tight-lipped smile before flickering my eyes back up to my windows again.
"Give us a call if you need anything." Carlisle said with a sympathetic smile. I returned the gesture with a tight, rueful smile from me.
"We'll be back soon Edward." Mom's eyebrows knitted together and Carlisle gave me a friendly wave before he slowly reversed out of the drive way. I waited until they left, before I jogged back into the house. My eyes caught on the kitchen clock.
Shit. It's already 7am? We're going to be late!
I ran up the stairs, preparing my mental plan to change into my uniform as fast as possible, sling on my bag and leave.
Hopefully Bella is ready by now, and we can leave soon.
When I opened the door to my room, I discovered Bella was still in bed, fast asleep where I'd left her. Her deep breaths indicated she wasn't waking up anytime soon, either. My urgency immediately disappeared, and I closed the door behind me softly, and sat on the edge of the bed beside her.
I can't wake her up, not asleep like this..
I whipped out my phone and sent a text to BROS BEFORE HOES.
Gonna play hooky today with Bella. Let coach know I won't be on the field today? Thanks.
As per usual, my phone lit up with a new message almost instantaneously.
What's the occasion? -Jazz
WTF Edward. Can't keep bailing on us. -Em
I was quick to type my simple response.
Bella needs rest.
Of course, both Em and Jazz were even quicker to type back.
What did you guys last night that requires extra rest Eddie? -Em
Of course I get shit for this too... I typed my response at a lightning speed.
Stfu, Emmett. It's not like that.
A new message popped up within seconds.
Sorry. Forgot you were dating the Virgin Mary. Please have a wonderful "rest" or whatever ye faithful would like to call it. -Em
Hah finished breakfast in time to see this banter. I'm dying.
I saw that even Jazz had sent a tombstone emoji and I groaned under my breath and clicked my phone closed.
I didn't think finding someone I cared about meant being subjected to the constant fuckery from my friends on a daily basis.
Bella finally stirred hours later, my lips twitched up into a smile of amusement as I watched her outstretched hand trace the bed sheets, searching. When she didn't find any trace of me, she opened her eyes, to find me sitting on the bed, watching her. Her sleepy eyes widened at once.
"Edward?" She rasped. I smoothed the stray hair around her face that had become rough with sleep, tucking the tendril behind her ear. "Go back to sleep, Bella." I crooned. She frowned, clearly disoriented.
"What time is it?" I didn't have to look at my phone.
"9:57." The widening of her eyes proved my theory of disorientation correct.
"Oh my--Edward, we're late!" She comically sprung to life, sitting up in bed and smoothing down her hair with two hands. I put a hand on her shoulder, trying to calm her motions.
"You needed rest." I reminded her gently. "I know you don't sleep well most nights, with all of your nightmares." Her eyes darted away as they always did. She knew I was right.
"B-but what about school?" She stuttered. I shrugged casually.
"We'll be okay if we ditch for one day." I teased.
"Ditch?" She cocked her head at the new vocabulary.
What a horrible influence you are on a girl who previously did not know attendance was not enforced as a law.
"Meaning, the world won't stop turning if we miss school for a day." I told her. An innocent smile magically appeared on her face.
"We're free to do whatever we want?" Her symmetrical smile widened as I could see her considering the range of possibilities.
"Well, maybe not whatever." I conceded, jerking a thumb at the window. Her eyes met the window, and sure enough, her face fell just a bit at the rain that hit the window with alarming force. Bella had been asleep for it, but a flash flood warning had been issued hours ago.
Almost just as quickly, a new idea must've surfaced in her head. It was clear in the widening of her eyes and the excitement anew in her face.
I'm beginning to read the subtleties of her expressions with ease, now.
"Indoor day, then?" She asked rather optimistically.
"Sounds good." I grinned at her crookedly.
Bella took a moment to change, she chose my white button down and a pair of basket ball shorts over everything Esme had offered her, and my heart soared. I noticed she'd brushed her hair, it was a deep walnut color.
Beautiful. I thought again, wondering with a small shake of my head if she had any idea what an effect she had on me.
I led her downstairs and to the living room. I handed her the remote to the TV, and ushered her to sit down. I turned the lamp beside her, the large windows did nothing for light with the sky being ash gray.
And that's Seattle for you.
I began to make my way to the kitchen, when Bella jumped up and offered to help. I waved her away with a grin.
"Find something to watch for us, instead. I like cooking breakfast, anyway," I told her, mostly mesmerized by her eyes. It wasn't a total lie.
Only if it's for you.
I entered the kitchen and took a deep breath to clear my head, the effect she had on me was amazing. I opened the refrigerator, glad to see eggs, cheese and croissants were available to my use.
Breakfast sandwich it is.
I scrambled eggs, toasted bread in the oven, and had bacon cooking in another pan. As I scrambled the eggs, I realized I hadn't asked Bella her preference on breakfast. I was suddenly concerned.
Does she like chives? How does she like her eggs?
How does one do this boyfriend gig?
Of course I have no idea what to do.. the one time it would've been useful to listen to Emmett and Jasper's relationship advice.
This is what I get.
I settled on keeping it simple, with bacon, egg, and cheese on a toasted croissant.
"Here you go." I set the plate in front of her on the coffee table with a false sense of confidence on my end. Bella looked amazed, as if I'd done more than make a two ingredient sandwich.
"You can cook, too?" She sounded in awe.
"I think the word 'cooking' implies more skill." I said with a wince. "Want coffee?" Her wide eyes told me she'd never had coffee before.
"Isn't coffee... a stimulant?" Bella asked in a soft voice.
Oh, is that what Volt taught her?
"Yeah, I suppose. Caffeine is a stimulant. But it's by no means deadly or anything." I laughed as I walked back into the kitchen to grab her a mug. I poured her a coffee and added cream and a little caramel. I hope she'd like it the same way I enjoyed it. She took a sip and widened her eyes when the drink touched her tongue. She was surprised at the taste.
"Good?" I asked her hesitantly. To my relief, she nodded as she continued sipping and I chuckled, both at my unnecessary and frankly, irrational concern and Bella's wonder-filled reaction.
There is still so much she is learning about the world... So contagious, to see her as excited as she was.
Bella had settled on watching one of the few movies she knew. We ended up watching home alone while chewing on our breakfast sandwiches. Sure, Christmas season had already passed, but it was fun to watch Bella's expressions; she was clearly touched by the innocence of the child.
If only she knew this was how I saw her.
The movie was coming to an end, when thunder cracked down on a tree outside.
I felt her shake before her gasp sounded. Bella was airborne for a moment, jumping at the sound of thunder.
"Just thunder," I said softly, as reassuringly as I could. I put a hand on her shoulder in a semblance of comfort. My thumb accidentally brushed against her collarbone that peeked out from her oversized shirt.
Even that barest touch sent the electricity that flowed through us in a wild rush. The sensation made me suck in my breath in and sent my heart racing. Bella seemed to stop breathing entirely.
"I know." She finally seemed to find her voice. "I can't help it." She had whispered, but it didn't seem as if she was speaking of the thunder or it's effect on her as she gazed at me. She looked as if she were in a trance.
The sound of rain pattering loudly against the windows was the only indicator that the movie had ended. The fact that we were alone in a huge house only amplified that silence. I swallowed, hard, finding it hard for me to retreat my gaze, to look anywhere but the amber pools of her irises.
I want you, so bad.
Bella
I couldn't think coherently when Edward touched me, even if it was a touch as innocent as his hand on my shoulder, trying to calm me from my irrational fear of thunder.
When his thumb brushed against my collarbone, I felt as I were... burning.
What a strange analogy to use considering you've been licked by real flames before, marred by them.
Edward's flame is deadly, in a sense. Not in the conventional way, but in the way that he consumes me. His warmth is ubiquitous, with no way out. He takes away my oxygen in order to smolder.
And that, I certainly did... Embarrassingly so.
I realized our faces were so close now that I could see the blood pooling in his lips, feel the warmth of it radiating onto my face. My eyes darted between the depths of his eyes and his lips that were parted now. I noted the slightest dilation in his pupils and his posture that was tilted towards me.
Is he attracted to me, too?
I realized the only way I'd find out is if I tested the waters.
The worst he can do is tell you he's not interested.
I leaned forward with caution, giving him a chance to retreat if he desired to. When he didn't, I carefully touched my lips to his for a half second, barely brushing our lips together. I pulled away, when I felt my heartbeat speed up so irrationally I wasn't certain if I could control myself.
Edward's eyes were wide. He looked frozen in time, and I was certain I mirrored him. The electric thrill that I received every time we touched lingered on my lips, dancing on them. I found myself pressing the tips of my fingers to them absently, wanting more.
"Wow," Edward had finally whispered. He looked... in awe.
Does he feel the same sensations I feel?
"Do you feel it, too?" I breathed, hoping he would understand the context of my words.My heartbeat pulsed ridiculously loudly in my ears. I noted that I could feel the slight vibrations of his pulse around me, the pulsations of his heart matched mine in speed.
An indicator that what we are experiencing is mutual?
I hoped it was, at least.
"I always have." He answered, without hesitation. "I was starting to wonder if it was in my head." He admitted sheepishly.
"It's not in your head." I breathed, with a single shake of my head.
The air still feels charged around us.
Instead of responding, Edward temperately cupped a hand around my neck and closed the distance between us, again.
His gentle lips were brought to mine and had kissed me with much more courage than I had mustered. His lips touched mine, once, twice, three times. I lost count as I relaxed in his touch. He seemed to do the opposite, the more we touched, he was eager, fevered even. When his tongue flicked my bottom lip, asking for entrance, I froze.
Could I trust myself? I ritualistically swallowed back the venom that flowed in excess near Edward, and parted my lips for him with great uncertainty. I wasn't sure of what to expect.
His tongue was gentle as it found its way into my mouth. When it languidly caressed mine, the sensation forced my mind into silence. I suddenly became an active participant of the moment, instead of a passive observer.
Edward's hands roamed from up my neck, his long fingers combed through my scalp and finally settled on twisting into my hair as he deepened the kiss. His breath was warm on my face, I felt again, all-consumed.
Everywhere he touches me, trails of heat seems to linger behind. I finally understand the urgency that Edward was feeling, a heat building in the pit of my stomach...
I felt venom instinctively flow into my mouth, perhaps in response to this feeling. Edward must've tasted it. He turned his head as if to savor it, and I pulled away abruptly. I gasped in breaths, both out of fear of myself and fear of the effect he seemed to have on me. Edward, too, seemed out of breath.
"You taste amazing, Bella." He panted. I smiled meekly at what was supposed to be a compliment.
"Thanks." I murmured.
It's not as if I was engineered to draw you in.
Even the taste of my personal poison you draws you in. No, worse than that.
It attracts you...
I thought hard to recall Volt's experiments revolving out venom. It usually worked like a depressant; intoxicating the other person fully and entirely. It created an addiction, a frenzy. It was a feature made to soothe the human before I'd obliterate them when I was on the other side. Similar to the way a spider paralyzes its prey.
"The things you do to me, Bella." Edward murmured, still out of breath. I nodded while catching my breath, as if to tell him he had the same effect on me.
I don't have the heart to tell him I'm afraid to hurt him.
"I can't get enough of you." He murmured, as if making a confession.
His simple words were an epiphany to me. He made me feel powerful, as if I was more than a monster.
As if I... deserved it.
The surge of confidence that coursed through me offered an antidote to my doubts. I threw myself at Edward without any inhibition, kissing him vehemently, letting my instincts guide me.
Is this what passion feels like?
Edward moaned once against my mouth, but not out of pain. It was a low sound, almost a growl.
I smiled at the thought of that, Edward being in less control than me, being the "animal" between the two of us.
"What are you laughing at, vampire?" He smirked, he already knew I had been thinking of something irrational.
"You, sounding like the monster for a change," I teased. His grin was askew and I knew he was feeling mischievous. His shoulders tensed under my hands, and I anticipated his movement.
"You like that, Vampy?" He teased. His expression darkened as his lips turned up in an askew smile. "I'll show you a monster." His large hands grabbed me by the backs of my thighs, and he pulled my legs over his hips so I was straddling him. He feigned a roar and I began to laugh but was quieted as he gently sucked on my neck, letting his teeth sink into my neck ever so slightly. He soothed the spot with a swipe of his tongue.
I felt heat like no other pool in the mark he left. And though he hadn't hurt me, my body reacted as if it did. I made a sound I didn't recognize, as if I was hurt, a soft whine in the back of my throat.
Edward reacted savagely to my response, and continued to ravage my neck, placing open mouthed kisses all over them. I gasped at each one and found myself closing my eyes, surrendering to his administrations.
Edward's shoulders tensed under my hands again and I felt his abdomen flex against mine. His hands wrapped around my legs, cupping me by my thighs. He pulled me up against him with ease as he stood. I exclaimed in surprise, but his mouth muffled the sound as his lips voraciously took over mine.
He held me against his body with ease, supporting my weight with a surplus of strength. I was vaguely aware that he started moving, but only because I felt him rocking.
He carried me up the stairs as if I weighed no more than a child, never letting my lips leave his. It felt like I was floating, and I was overwhelmed by the warmth of his mouth on mine. I heard a door open, and the next thing I knew, he was walking me over the short distance to his bed, and setting me down on top of the covers.
Why did he bring me up here? Does he feel more comfortable here, in his bedroom?
He suspended himself over me, propping himself up over me by the elbows. His hands roamed my sides as his lips gently suckled mine. I gasped at the sensations that he caused, not quite ticklish yet a feeling of desperation in the same way. He pulled away for a moment, as if to let me breathe.
"Beautiful." He murmured.
His skin looked flushed, even his lips seemed to have more blood flow.
So attractive... delicious. I swallowed back my venom, forced myself to inhale the warmth that was his scent.
Never easy but not too bad, either.
I hesitantly let my hand trail down his back. I wasn't too surprised to note the musculature under his shirt. His breath was taken away for a moment when I touched him, it made me feel powerful. I took it as a sign to continue.
My hands moved over his shoulders, down his side.
"You have no idea how good that feels." He moaned. I let my fingernails skim over his sides, just tickling him and he groaned, tightening his grip on my hair ever so slightly.
I haven't a clue as to what I'm doing, but I hope I'm doing it right.
An impulsive thought tumbled into my head. Of wanting him closer to me, even if he was already hovering over me. I pulled him closer with both hands, and he complied, allowing moreof his weight to rest on top of me.
I noted a hard protrusion I felt against my leg from the pocket in his sweats.
"Something in your pockets?" I asked, mostly out of curiosity. I must've said the wrong thing. His body became abruptly rigid in my hands and he drew away from me as if I had burned him.
"Oh uh, no, I'm sorry." He sounded ashamed, his cheeks even blushed red. He was off of me in a second and was already against the edge of the bed, about to fall off. His hands were up and open, as if to show me he didn't have anything to hide. An innocent man. I was left confused, disgruntled even.
What did I say?
"Did I hurt you? I don't really care about whatever you have in your pockets." I said, but I could hear the pitch in my voice raise a note.
Where on earth did this frustration come from?
Something I said must've enlightened Edward. His jaw dropped, and the shock in his expression revealed I the one who was missing something.
Was my question too bold? Did I do something wrong?
"The 'thing' in question, Bella, is an erection."
Why is he using air quotations with his fingers?
When the confusion on my face remained unchanged, his eyes widened. "Did VOLT not explain to you how conception works?" I shook my head.
"I don't think they expected any of us to have the opportunity or need to find out," I murmured. "I know the extent of it is man and woman come together to procreate."
"Oh, uh, yeah." Edward chuckled nervously. "They definitely skipped some details," he said wryly. "In any case, men and women have different reproductive systems. When men are aroused, blood engorges the male appendage and females will have a similar effect on their respective systems."
Oh. The thing in his pocket wasn't an object.
It was his...
"The male appendage penetrates the female one. It's called 'sex'. Coitus. Intercourse. Bumping uglies. There are a lot of words to describe it."
When his words were met with silence, he nervously added it felt better than it sounded. He tugged on his wild hair anxiously waiting for me to respond.
"So," I began conversationally. "you're well-versed in this 'sex'?" I asked. He blushed.
"Ah, no. I wish I could say I was." He sounded suddenly regretful.
Me, too.
An awkward silence ensued as I contemplated my options.
"Could you... show me? What sex is?" I asked quietly. He flushed red in the face again, but complied. To my surprise, he began by taking off his shirt. He pulled the back of his shirt over his head and removed it in one motion, dropping it to the floor. It left his upper body exposed; and I gulped.
His musculature was indeed impressive, especially for someone our age. He looked fully developed, not in just an athletic sense, but as a man. His broad shoulders were well rounded, he even had a sprinkling of copper hair on his chest.
He smiled a little at my awkward gawking, and began to unbuckle his belt, before pulling down his pants to reveal black boxer briefs. He stepped out of his jeans.
I let my eyes slowly wander down his body, appreciating every inch. The same musculature found in his upper body was present in the prominent muscles of his lower body. His strength was evident in his strong thighs and calf muscles.
My eyes widened when I saw his appendage, tenting his boxer briefs. I gulped at the size.
Isn't that unusually large?
Edward raised an eyebrow at the level of my eyes.
"Do you want me to take them off?" He asked coolly.
Even though Edward seems collected, I'm nervous.
But I'm just as curious.
What little I'd known of male anatomy came from the biology lessons or pictures in art history that I'd seen. I'd never seen one that wasn't on a statue; and I'd most definitely never seen it in its erect state.
I hesitantly hooked my thumbs into the waistband, and looked up for his permission. He nodded at me, and i pulled them down. His erection was freed from the boxers and bobbed as it settled into place, jutting away from his body and pointing towards me.
The bulbous tip had a drop of clear liquid that had formed on it. Edward saw my eyes trained on it.
"Precum." He said as if the new word would explain something I already knew.
"What does it... indicate?" I asked, touching it carefully with the tip of my fingers. It was slippery, and made a trail between my fingertip for a moment. He hissed at the contact.
"Basically, my attraction for you."
I still couldn't shake my surprise by how large it was both in length and circumference.
"Would you say you're an average representation?" He shrugged modestly.
"Sure. Probably a little above that, but yeah." I gulped. This was supposed to fit inside me?
Sensing my nerves, he squeezed my shoulders gently and reassured me with a kiss to the forehead.
"Don't be scared. Your body was made to expand to accommodate the extra, uh, length." I nodded my understanding, though the idea still overwhelmed me.
"So is it customary for me to get undressed, too?" He shrugged.
"Only if it makes you comfortable."
I nodded and with fumbling fingers, tried to unbutton my blouse. Edward stopped me, forming cuffs around my wrists with his long fingers.
"Let me," He offered sweetly, gesturing for me to sit. I flushed as he stooped down, kneeling in front of me.
He kissed the hollow of my neck tenderly and continued to kiss down until he reached the V of my buttoned blouse. His eyelashes peeked up at me before he continued. I nodded at him, and he slowly unbuttoned my blouse, while kissing my sternum, the top of my bra. After he delicately unbuttoned the last button, he pushed the unbuttoned shirt off of my shoulders. His eyes widened when he saw me clad in a bra.
Edward.
I could hardly contain myself seeing Bella without a shirt.
Holy fucking shit. She looks like a statue.
So perfect, she's Inhuman.
Oh wait.
"Your body is incredible." I told her through a dry throat, and I meant it. Her waist was so small I could nearly wrap my hands around it. Her bust, in comparison looked large.
Pink nipples peaked out from the top of her bra. My mouth watered. I instantly moved my mouth to one, and my hand to the other, it elicited a sharp gasp from Bella.
I looked up for her reaction, her eyes were closed, the grey skies outside casted the faintest shadows from her dark lashes. She'd thrown her head back into the pillow, her hair cascaded out and away from her. Though her lips her parted, she wasn't frowning.
Once I was assured her gasp was not out of pain, I kept going, flicking her sensitive nipple with my tongue and barely brushing my thumb over her other one. The soft mewling sounds that left Bella's mouth spurred me on further.
My free hand trailed down, under her shorts. I felt the center of her panties, damp.
A soft moan came from Bella's throat, with a thrill, I realized she must've liked it.
"More," I heard her whimper. "Please."
Say no more, beautiful.
With the consent I received, I pushed her panties aside with vigor and let my fingers stroke the warm flesh between her legs. My jaw dropped at the excess of slippery moisture and Bella elicited another soft sound. I stayed that way for a moment, overwhelmed by my heightened arousal.
How could anything be this wet?
I must've been quiet for too long. Bella propped herself up on her elbows, looking up at me with her brow furrowed. The traditional look of her concern.
"Is something wrong?" She asked worriedly.
"No, the opposite, you're perfect. You're very hard to resist." I admitted, letting a hand trace the curve in her calf, as if to exemplify her perfection.
"I want you, Edward. Please." To hear her say it, beg for it, made my heart race. I swallowed, hard, and managed to rasp out,
"Lean back." She looked confused, but obeyed, letting her upper body settle back against the pillows. "Now close your eyes." I murmured.
You'd be too shy if they were open.
She did and I lowered myself down her body, kissing trails down her perfect abdomen, to the waistband of her shorts. I teased her, licking along the band before pulling her shorts and underwear off in one go.
I heard a small gasp from Bella, and the sound only spurred me on to keep going. I reached a small triangle of curls, and just beneath it was the most perfect pair of lips I'd ever seen. They glistened with moisture, and my mouth watered.
How is she perfect in every facet of her body?
I buried my nose in her curls and tasted her wetness for the first time. I was met by the sweetest taste, a hint of floral musk. Groaning, I had to go back in for more of the heady scent and taste. I felt so overwhelmed, I kissed the top of her clit before smoothing my tongue up against it.
I felt her gasp above me and I wrapped my hands around her thighs, parting her open to me ever so slightly and rubbing my thumb against her legs. I was hoping the motion would help her relax. I continued on, flicking my tongue against her folds.
Her sex tasted as good as her mouth did; oddly sweet and somehow earthy. It drew me in, I felt drunk on it. She moaned softly but I could tell she was holding back. I remembered the explicit instructions I'd overheard Emmett giving once in the locker rooms. "Find the clit, and draw the alphabet on her with your tongue!"
I began to do just that. I tried to focus on her clitoris, I knew women were most sensitive there.
By the time I'd traced 'L', Bella began to buck her hips up against my face. I pushed them down against the bed, wanting her to take what I was giving her in its entirety. I continued to lick until I heard her small moans raise in pitch, I looked up to a glorious sight: she was gripping the sheets with fists and her back was arcing off of the bed.
She must be close.
I cautiously slipped a finger into her and began pumping, focusing on keeping the pressure on her clit with my mouth and to keep her hip down with my other hand. She thrashed for only a few moments before she completely unraveled, coming down hard on my finger. I was so satisfied with myself I couldn't help but smile against her soft skin, waiting for her to come back down. I'd never seen her look more human than I did in her post orgasm glow, her cheeks flushed and her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath. I slipped my finger out of her.
I found my discarded shirt against the bed and took a moment to wipe the lower half of my face clean as I waited for Bella to recover.
I found myself smiling by how much I'd affected her. Bella's eyes finally opened, and she was at a loss. "Wh-how did you... what did you do?" She was gasping in her breaths still and I chuckled. "I think you had an orgasm." I said slyly.
I figure the word "cum" doesn't mean very much to her. Not yet that is, if I can help it.
Her breathing was finally slowing. Bella looked down, as she spoke in a soft voice.
"Can I... do the same to you?" My jaw dropped and my mind blanked at the question.
No. Be a gentleman Edward!
She's a virgin!
The devil on my shoulder spoke:
So are you, dumbass.
"I uh, didn't do it because I expected anything back. I wanted to try to please you. There's no obligation to reciprocate." I added nervously, I found myself waving my hand excessively.
But I'd be lying to God, If I said I didn't hope that she would.
The silence in the room was so loud, I could practically hear the clock ticking from my desk.
"I don't know 'how' to please you. But.. could you show me?" She asked shyly.
Oh my god, it's happening now!!
No, stop it! She didn't ask for IT!
I hoped I didn't look like a fish out of water with my mouth gaping as I scrambled to find the right words.
How do you show someone with no sexual experience how to…
"Yeah, sure, there's a few different options, but generally I just wrap my hand around it, and I jerk it." I felt like an idiot explaining that to her. It was only after I'd said it aloud did I realize I'd admitted to her that I masturbate. I never wanted to slap myself in the head so badly.
Bella cocked her head with an eyebrow raised.
Was that not the answer she was looking for?
"Are there other ways?" She asked.
"Sure, you could put your mouth on it, if you really wanted to." All of the blood in my body went straight down to my shaft and I was almost light headed, saying this to her. Especially after what we'd already done.
Why are you corrupting her?
"Which one is the option that'll make us both feel good?"
"Sex." I confirmed slowly. I needed to be sure she understood I wasn't pressuring her. "However, my intention isn't to-" She cut me of with a daring expression that I didn't dare question.
"Show me." She must've realized how bold she sounded, when I raised an amused eyebrow at her. She immediately looked bashful. "I mean, how is it, this 'sex' enjoyed?"
"Well," A soft chuckle elicited from my throat at her unexpected boldness. "From what I hear from the guys, there's a lot of different uh, positions one could try." Her eyes widened nervously and although I understood, a small part of me hoped I didn't scare her away.
Bella
He saw my reluctance instantly and was quick to soothe me, in ways I didn't know I was receptive to. His hands grabbed mine and he quickly found tension between my knuckles. He kneaded them tenderly between his hands.
"Please don't be afraid. I promise we don't have to do anything you're not comfortable doing."
I hesitated for only a moment.
"No, I still want this." I confirmed with a nod of my head. He nodded back at me.
"Uh, very well. Oh-" He seemed to remember something. "Give me a second." He reached for something from his wallet--a square packet and tore it open. He carefully unrolled it over his length, and I looked at him, in confusion. "Protection." I nodded, reminding myself to ask him later what he meant. He must've noticed the distant look in my eyes.
"Are you nervous?" He asked carefully. I shrugged, I hoped it looked nonchalant. "I am too," he admitted sheepishly. He took my hand and placed it over his fluttering heart. Although the gesture was unnecessary with my hearing, he was right, it was beating very quickly, even for him. The stuttering vibrations that radiates through my fingers made his humanity that much more real to me. With the palm of my hand wedged between his hand and chest, I was so warm, I felt a sigh escape me. I thought back to why Edward's heart would be beating like this. It was an indication of one unmistakeable thing.
Nerves.
"Why are you nervous?" I breathed. Edward smiled shyly.
"I want you to enjoy this, too." He said to me. He rolled over onto his side, he reminded me of a marble statue with his hand haphazardly placed in the organized disarray of his hair. He kissed me unhurriedly, his hands stroked my back and sides. Despite my nerves, the warmth of his hands made me visibly relax in his arms. I even found myself exhaling against my own will. I idly wondered if Edward was trying to coax me into relaxing before losing all thoughts when his lips moved away from my mouth and pressed against the hollow beneath my ear.
The sensation of his lips gently sucking on the sensitive skin there sent me in a frenzy. I wanted him, more of him, even if it was too much. All of him. I twisted my fingers into his bronze locks, and pulled his face even closer to mine.
Edward responded enthusiastically to my sudden change in pace, and seemed to mirror me perfectly. His hands that were wrapped around my waist slowly slid down between us. The anticipation was high even if I didn't know what I was waiting for.
I felt my breath escape me when his bewilderingly warm fingertips began to explore the most sensitive spot between my legs again.
His hands were gentle and barely skimmed the surface of the flesh there.
I squealed against his lips when his fingertips touched a spot that I didn't know existed.
I had no idea that sensation alone even existed.
Edward's lips turned up against mine in what was a smile of satisfaction. He brushed the same spot again, and again. I squirmed.
I felt primal in a way that wasn't me changing--I wanted him, with a urgency I didn't recognize in myself. I was grappling his hips in desperation, needing more.
Edward dropped his gaze to me. "Are you sure?" I nodded reverently both embarrassed by my eagerness yet mystified for what this feeling was.
Edward cautiously positioned himself over me, suspending by himself over my body.
"Are you sure?" He asked again, this time with a reverence.
I nodded once and he placed himself against my most sensitive area. I wondered with anxiousness yet again how his member would fit inside me, if it would at all.
With a deep breath in, Edward slowly pushed the tip of himself into me.
I realized Edward was right about the technicalities of fitting. The sensation of stretching was immediate and I tensed against the pressure.
Even the tip inside seemed to affect Edward greatly, his jaw dropped ever so slightly. His body was so rigid in its efforts not to move that he was trembling. Nonetheless, he turned his attention to me.
"Relax Bella," he crooned, placing a warm hand on my cheek. I forced myself to breathe in once. "It's easier for you if you do." I nodded, knowing his knowledge on this surpassed mine greatly, I breathed out as evenly as I could manage.
He replaced his hand with mine, intertwining my fingers with his beside my head. Only after he was reassured that I had relaxed, he slowly slid his manhood in, inch by inch. I continued to breathe evenly in and out as I fixed my eyes on the ceiling.
His length was over halfway there, when I felt stinging. I winced, and Edward squeezed my hand as I sucked in a breath through my teeth.
"Im sorry, Bella," he murmured, his lips graced my cheek a few times as he murmured in my ear. With a few breaths and encouraging words, his full length was inside me and our hips were flush against each other.
A fullness I'd never felt before suddenly overwhelmed me.
His head rolled forward against mine as he groaned under his breath.
"Fuck, you feel amazing," he whispered. I'd rarely heard him use expletives and it offered an odd sort of excitement for me.
The feeling of stretching was a slight discomfort but I desperately wanted to please him.
What next, though?
"Show me what to do," I murmured. He smiled.
"I can do most of the work. But it'll be more comfortable if you do what feels natural to you." He suggested. Despite the kindness in his tone, I was again torn by my lack of experience, my lack of human instinct.
"I don't do 'natural'." I reminded him, bitterly.
"Here," he put a large hand around my hip, before withdrawing himself out and only when he pushed back in, his hand angled my hips up just slightly when our hips met again.
The friction the motion created was amazing. The pleasure was both was too much and not enough simultaneously.
I found myself squeezing my eyes shut and making a wanton sound. I clapped a hand to my mouth and my eyes immediately darted to the open door.
Edward laughed aloud. "No one is home, Bella. Enjoy yourself all you like. Don't be embarrassed and don't hold back." I nodded and when our eyes met again I let myself relax in the familiar hazel woods that were his irises. The rain outside seemed to illuminate his eyes. "Relax," he murmured once more, either to myself or to himself I wasn't certain. I forced myself to inhale and exhale, releasing tension I didn't know I was holding in my nether regions.
Edward must've been waiting for that; he thrusted back into me only after I had relaxed.
I met him halfway this time, his pubic bone hit a sensitive area and I hissed. Somehow, we figured out a steady pattern like that, and the sounds of our hips meeting made a rhythm that drowned out the sound of rain outside. With each time Edward pushed himself in, I lifted my hips up against him to meet him thrust for each thrust. I couldn't control the sounds tumbling out of my mouth, like a dam being released down a waterfall. I was so embarrassed, I placed a hand over my mouth to silence myself. Edward's long fingers linked around my wrist to pull my hand away.
"I like hearing you. Don't stop." His voice was rough in my ear, i flushed but nodded and kept going. Edward continued pumping into me, and I found myself making the same moans I'd been making earlier.
"That's it Bella," he coaxed into my ear. I groaned in response, unable to find words, and my hands scrambled to pull him closer to me. The warmth his body engulfed me, yet I couldn't get enough.
Between thrusts Edward's hands roamed my body, he suckled the sensitive skin on my neck and even began kissing my nipples. I groaned. For the first time in my life, my body was so warm that I was perspiring. I was amazed at the reaction, realizing that Edward brought out more than I thought he did with every kiss, touch, thrust. He didn't bring out my sensuality alone. He brought out my humanity.
I felt like I was beneath the sky for the first time, just admiring the way Edward engulfed me with an irrevocable vastness.
His hair too was damp with sweat, his brow was furrowed. The flush in his lips, his cheeks made him look more youthful than usual. His strong rhomboids tensed beneath my grappling fingers as he held me tighter against him. The physical beating of his heart drummed against me and I looked down in curiosity.
My face flushed when I saw Edward's manhood inside of me, instead.
I began to notice the familiar building of heat that Edward had given me earlier, begin in the pit of my stomach. My jaw dropped as my motions to meet him became rougher, uneven.
"Edward," I moaned, but my voice wasn't one I recognized. I was begging for something, anything to relieve me of this acute need. As if he could read my mind, Edward's hand reached between us and he began to play with me again in the sensitive spot above my nether regions. I whined, burying my face in his neck, on the precipice of the world exploding…
How can anything feel this good.
"I'm close, too, Bella. Come with me." He panted, his fingers on me sped up, spurring me on.
Although I couldn't comprehend the meaning of his words, I was so overwhelmed by the many sensory elements around me, his hands on me, that I took his words as encouragement.
My heart pounded, my lower regions growing more and more sensitive and seeing Edward in this animalistic state pushed me over the edge. When his hands worked faster against my sensitive spot and he pushed into me with a greater force, I was pushed over the edge. I was blinded by all of the sensations working in tandem as one and my toes curled, pointing into the sheets.
"Ah!" I exclaimed with my eyes screwed shut. I felt as if the world had exploded, I was barely aware that I had yelled his name out as I shook.
Only after I opened my eyes, Edward had reached it too. His eyebrows furrowed as if he were upset but his face was in pure bliss. He bit down on his lip and he groaned as he bucked his hips into me twice more.
"Fuck. I can't hold back." He pulled himself out of me, and I gasped at the sudden emptiness. Edward pulled off the plastic covering him with haste. I watched with amazement as he wrapped long fingers around his length and jerked it desperately. His face contorted and his length spurted out a milky fluid that splashed my breasts with an unexpected heat.
"Oh!" I exclaimed. What is this?
I touched the substance that landed on my breasts with my finger tips; it was clearly warmed by Edward's body. Sticky.
I was mystified and brought the tip of my finger into the fluid, to bring it to my nose. It smelled chlorinated. I tasted it only with the tip of my tongue to discover it tasted as it smelled. I looked up, accidentally meeting Edward's eyes as I did. His eyes widened in surprise and he groaned when he saw his fluid on my fingers and my mouth still parted.
I watched in amazement as yet another spurt of fluid reflexively spattered my chest. His fist continued forcefully pumping but the rest either dripped down his member or they clung to him. Again, I was intrigued by the strange viscosity of the liquid heat.
When his fist finally slowed, he trembled a little in uneven intervals as he panted in breaths.
I noted that despite the hair on his forehead that curled from damp sweat, and his face flushed from exerting himself, he looked… satiated. I wasn't certain what the word for it was. Angelic?
When he recovered, his eyes opened to mine, almost shyly, peeking through long eyelashes first.
"Did you, uh," He looked uncertain of his wording and cleared his throat, changed the direction of his sentence. "Was that good for you?" He asked softly. He stroked my hair adoringly from above me. I nodded, unsure of how to tell him that "good" was an overwhelming understatement.
"That was amazing." I confessed, shaking my head, still trying to slow my breath. "I've never… felt anything like that."
"Me, either." He agreed with a crooked grin. His eyes dropped to my fluid spattered chest and he looked embarrassed for a moment, held up a finger. "Hold still, please." I nodded, suddenly feeling exhausted. He left the bed and I closed my eyes for just a moment.
I must've dozed off, I startled awake when something warm and damp draped across my chest.
I opened my eyes to Edward smiling sympathetically. He was wiping his substance off of me.
"Sorry to have tired you out." He sounded sincere but I heard a teasing smile in his voice, too. I chuckled feebly in response, not knowing what to say. The rain must've absolved, we were now in silence.
I was again, nervous when I saw that Edward's figure was still very much naked and standing over me.
The small towel in his hand was warm and damp on my skin, it caressed me as he wiped his liquid clean off of me.
I watched with wonder, noting the many questions about this fluid I'd ask later. For now, I'll assume this is a normal function. Remembering Edward's earlier question, I tried to return the courtesy nonchalantly.
"Was that good for you?" I asked uncertainty. It seemed as though it was but I wasn't quite certain what the question entailed.
He grinned. "In case you couldn't tell, I'm doing great. Spectacular, even." He sighed dramatically as he laid against the bed beside me.
"Man, we wasted so much time worrying about other things. We could've done this so many times." He complained dramatically. I laughed at that.
I didn't realize Edward had given thought about this.
In my defense, I also didn't know that this practice was an option.
He continued, in a joking tone and a mischievous wave of his long eyebrows.
"If it was that good on the first try, think about how it'd feel the second time, the third time, the--" I cut him off with my mouth on his. He was silenced and didn't complain as we tangled together again.