Thank you for your continued patience. We're at 2 more chapters left to finish the story! I do hope you like it. Let me know what you thought, what we can do better, what touched you, what made you feel. -squid

Bella

I stared bitterly out of the window that frosted over despite the heat blasting in the van. The fleeting trees passed us in blurs as if they were just slides on a projector, moving rapidly before my eyes.

It's snowing here, as if even the elements want us to turn away...

It's as if the trees around us are calling, 'turn around, it's not too late!'

I sighed quietly to myself. I shook my head in disapproval, knowing I was making up narratives, exhuming every excuse I could to avoid returning to the Volturi.

I gazed blankly at the evanescent trees that carved out a winding uphill path in the forest. It was barely wide enough to fit a mini van which apparently was the cause of the constant stream of curse words muttered under Emmett's breath, who was behind the steering wheel. Jasper's subdued voice could be heard trying to console Emmett's "road rage", but I found myself tuning it out, zeroing in on the overwhelming fear festering within me, instead. The perturbation within me grew as our proximity to the Laboratories inched closer. Evidently this feeling was compelling enough to serve as a compass for all of us.

There wasn't a day that could compare to the all-consuming fear that exploded through my bloodstream as I ran away from Volt. To voluntarily return to the place I spent years plotting to escape felt more than just frightening. It felt morally wrong, to the core.

It's almost as if it were all for nothing. All the planning, running, hiding—

I swallowed hard when I grasped the motive for my dejection. It choked me from the inside out.

It's as if it was all for nothing.

I shook my head to myself, ashamed of my own stupidity.

What are you saying?

Did you harbor some kind of unrealistic expectation that this would work?

It couldn't have lasted forever, Bella.

What were you hoping for, exactly?

To live with Edward, happily ever after?

The silence in my head confirmed the impasse, the end of my mental debate.

I knew my answer in response to that; what I wanted.

You idiot.

I forced my mind back to the frosted pine trees, my only solace.

I can't bear thinking about it now.

Yet I did anyway. I'd become so human in my habits, I'd learned to over-think, to over rationalize every minute moment and detail of my life.

If only you didn't kill Demetri..

Maybe they wouldn't have left the threatening note in my locker...

Maybe none of this would have happened.

I bitterly squeezed the thick card stock that summoned me back to Volt. I looked down on the small watermarked card stock in disdain, through black eyes full of hate.

The wax seal was blood red, no coincidence, and proudly displayed the all-too-familiar crest that was pressed into the paper. I traced the cryptically decorated V. It was fluted, gilded with a crest in the center and embellished with an ornate ruby on top.

It sent shivers down my spine as I recalled the years of lectures on this detail. The reoccurring red themes represented martyrdom, supposedly, although it certainly wasn't Volt committing the sacrifices. A hawk and a bare tree quartered each other on a shield in the middle of the V. The bird that flew westward represented Volt's main goal: the flight to cross the opposite side of humanity, condemning us to the hell of the other side. The bare trees supposedly symbolized Volt's eternity.

Aro's voice rang clearly through my mind as if I were back in the learning auditorium, reviewing the overused presentation; it was the brainwashing of Volt's "legacy" they made us rewatch each year. There was no renunciation, no questions asked, out of fear. We did as we were told and resigned ourselves to do whatever it took to survive, including this. In the video presentation, they portrayed themselves as heroes in their PR, and depicted the half breeds to be the necessary saviors alongside them. It was delineated precisely as a "team effort", when we were martyrs for their experiments. No more, no less.

I remembered vividly at the memory of Aro, on the auditorium's podium that day, smiling at the crest displayed behind him. He stated proudly,

"The tree of eternal life. It symbolizes Volt will grow forever as its roots will never be cut down."

I shivered at the memory, and at the truth of knowing I still believed that Volt could not be cut down.

Yet that's why we're here.

Edward, Emmett and Jasper had devised a plan to "take volt down." They intended to kidnap me out of Volt after I met with them. Hence the inconspicuous disguises, the extra gasoline in the car, and the tranquilizing syringes that Edward had stolen from Carlisle's office. It was a valiant effort, and I wanted to believe that I would be safe with them.

But no matter what I told myself, I knew deep in my heart that there was no escaping Volt. They were simply not a force to be reckoned with; Edward was beginning to see the extent of it today, but ultimately, he had no idea. I'd begged him, them, pleaded to Alice and Rose to convince them for a clean and peaceful trade with Volt. I would willingly return to them, as asked, if it meant I could spare them from any harm that they would inevitably go through to take me back. I asserted my reasoning, that this was for their sakes, but they wouldn't hear a word of it. I even explained the various precautions Volt took to avoid strangers that could potentially shut down the laboratory, including having a laboratory that was high up in the mountains and secluded within a valley. Even through all of that, Edward was determined to save me.

I'm not ignorant.

I knew I'd be end up a sacrifice in the end, one way or another.

And you agreed anyways. I thought bitterly.

From the backseat of the van, time ceased to exist in the flurry of my mental storm. I watched the very vehicle we traveled in inch closer and closer to Volt. The reality of what I was giving up was beginning to set in. It sent my stomach tumbling and I kept my mouth closed in fear of vomiting. I turned to Edward, my only light in the irrevocable darkness that loomed ahead. I wanted so desperately to grab his hand and run away.

Maybe if we go to another country, change our names...

We could still turn around.

I found myself unconsciously reaching out to touch him.

I stopped myself just midway from grabbing his hand, at seeing his graceful form sagged against the seatbelt.

He's sound asleep.

His eyes were closed in angelic slumber, his face was endearingly bowed down to the floor mats. His long hands were loosely laced and folded politely in his lap as if he fell asleep praying.

Even in his sleep he's the picture of elegance, ethereal and beautiful.

Soft but deep breaths indicated he was in sweet oblivion, fast asleep.

I envied his human ability to sleep so much. I wished with anguish that I could incapacitate myself into peaceful ignorant bliss right now.

The puffs of breath that escaped his nostrils were the only distraction I could feel in my sympathetic nervous system. My salivary glands worked overtime within a half foot radius of him, and for the first time, it was a welcome distraction. With each gentle exhale, I forced myself to breathe in his sweet perfume that couldn't lessen my anxiety but distracted my senses in other ways. The crisp apple scent that usually ravaged my throat and tortured me now served as my personal brand of heroin. A sweet addiction that was a blissful escape, and took me away from the reality I was facing.

Anything to take me away from here.

For whatever reason, my willful wishes worked. Blissful memories began clouding the fear in my mind, masking the alarm that buzzed around in my body settle like beekeepers with smoke. Perhaps my body was trying desperately to compartmentalize the bloodstained memories of Volt and instead, take me some place safer.

What is the word for this strangely human experience... to disassociate?

My surroundings became invisible and I chose not to read further into it and stepped blindly into the memory that surfaced, instead. In this brief flashback, I was warm. Birds chirped faintly in the distance and the breeze was a gentle, all-pervasive caress. Lush shades of green surrounded us, wrapped us beneath a blue sky.

Edward's eyes glinted peridot in the light of the sun in the meadow. The colors of trees surrounding us only emphasized the glimmer of excitement in his eyes. His arms wrapped beneath my chest and pulled me against his warm body from behind. It was as if this embrace were the finishing touch, tying a bow to present a precious gift. Edward inhaled into my hair then exhaled contently. His breath was warm and gentle against my skin and I could feel a smile in his cheek that pressed against me.

The quilted blanket felt soft beneath my fingers and bare feet, and I traced the stitching with my fingertips. The sky was an overwhelming blend of floral fire as the sun slowly began to set behind the silhouettes of pine trees. We watched, leaning against each other, utterly mesmerized. The breeze may have stirred Edward's scent around me distractingly, but I was happy.

The box of memories shifted to an equally pleasant but completely different memory. One of the sounds of our bodies meeting against each other, soft pants raised in pitch and hung in the air like icicles that never ceased to melt. Edward's lash rimmed eyes met mine with a look so seductive it sent shivers down my spine in anticipation. His hips picked up speed and it was clear his intent was to bring my writhing body up to a climax. I surrendered helplessly to the strong body that both waged war against me and worshiped me, controlled me and commanded my body. My eyes rolled back, abruptly tearing our eye contact apart. Edward's fingers interlaced mine tightly, holding me to the bed, and his free hand cupped my cheek endearingly.

"I love you, Bella." The tremor in his voice told me these weren't words he uttered to anyone else. Only me. For the first time I felt his equal.

I reached nirvana under Edward's body as I reached the peak and stayed there against my will. Edward joined me shortly after, and we shared blissful silence.

I blinked and the moments were over. I longed to stay lost in all of the human memories I could conjure, but I knew in my being that I couldn't stay there forever.

No matter what I want to believe, I can't keep pretending.

At the end of the day, I was a killer wasn't I?

Any memories associated with "Bella" was as invalid as the fictitious name I'd chosen for myself. At the end of the day, I was serial number 1906, just a weapon to be returned back to Volt.

As disposable as any other half breed there.

I looked to my friends in the car, Rose and Alice holding hands anxiously and Emmett and Jasper angrily muttering directions back and forth.

I wonder if they would miss me.

I turned to Edward, the lavender eyelids, the angular features I knew so well.

Would you continue to live a pleasant life without me?

Would you at least remember me?

Edward

I must've dozed off, in the backseat of the van. The constant tension of the never-ending school day had finally taken its toll on my yielding body. My heavy eyelids closed for just a moment and my head rolled to my chest. I slumped over and sank into comfortable oblivion in the backseat.

I'm just going to rest my eyelids, for just a minute...

I must've been unconscious for long enough to dream.

In my soporose, I found myself back at the very place I wanted to avoid most-back in the test lab.

God. Please, no.

It's bad enough we've chosen to face Volt, please don't let me have nightmares about it too...

We were in the small test lab with the metal table, steel walls and sterile floors. The air smelled of chemicals and stale, temperature-controlled air.

Let a guy rest, goddammit.

Bella sat on the table this time. Her long milky legs were crossed over one another beneath a white hospital slip, I couldn't help but notice a slit where her thigh was exposed. Bella's eyes glinted maroon beneath her arched eyebrows. Her supple lips were painted dark red in this dream. Despite my every instinct knowing I shouldn't be, I was attracted to a fault. I was hopelessly mesmerized by her beauty, in spite of knowing the outcome, each of these dreams would end in my inevitable death.

"We meet again," she said, with a sultry chuckle that contained no emotion.

Do not be phased by her.

"Why do you keep bringing me back here?" I demanded. She shook her head with a light smirk.

"Don't you want to know the truth? Of why you're sinking? Why you?" I shook my head furiously.

What truth?

Her eyes darkened beneath the fluorescent lighting and I saw her tongue dart out to lick her lower lip. I realized with a shock that upon closer inspection, her lips were actually coated with thick blood. I gulped hard.

Had she just fed?

I forced myself to sound strong, unwavering.

"What do you want from me?" Bella raised a brow at my threatening tone, not budging. "What truth are you talking about?" I egged on. She rolled her eyes as if I'd missed something obvious in her vague, creepy messages.

"There is a reason you're here Edward. Didn't you miss me?" I blinked and Bella suddenly appeared in front me. She dragged a claw across my chest, letting her nails skim my bare chest. It stained my shirt and skin with a dark red smear and I shivered, knowing this was someone else's blood. She looked up, dark lashes rimmed her narrowed eyes, as seductive as they were threatening.

"Didn't you want to stay and sink with me?" I hesitated, running a hand through my hair, tempted to pull it out at this rate. I opened my mouth to answer and the moment I did, the ceiling swung open to a endless sea of blood. It came down with such a force that I no longer was standing, it knocked me off my feet. I was drowning under a ocean of blood that was hot on my skin and metallic in my open mouth. I choked on it, unable to breathe. I was tumbling under the noxious liquid unable to tell the difference from the ceiling to the floor. I felt ice-cold hands grip my shoulders, and I gasped on the blood as she pushed me to the floor with alarming force.

Just as I wondered if my lungs would explode, I opened my eyes and gasped in a breath.

Thank god.

I was still in the van.

Everything is fine.

Rose and Alice were in the middle seats, their necks craned to see me as I struggled to catch my breath. Bella was in the single seat across from me. Her eyes, too, were trained on me.

"Edward." She murmured. I tried everything I could to slow my breath. "Did you have a bad dream?"

I didn't answer; I knew my voice would quake and reveal just how afraid I was.

Everything is going to be fine. Don't let a dream phase you.

I tried to reason with myself, that the ominous feeling was simply internal, just in my head. But the surroundings around us didn't make sense either.

The single winding road through the forest seemed endless and brought road rage to Emmett driving, and confusion to Jasper in the shotgun as he navigated the Google maps that couldn't seem to tell us where we were, the signal cut in and out. At one point, it seemed as if we drove in circles.

Bella said she could sense where they were, Jasper and Emmett agreed Bella should be in charge. I was left feeling helpless and apprehensive once more.

The lush pine trees that lined the sides of dirt roads effectively shielded us from any light the moon may have given off, wherever it was, so we were in complete darkness.

It was as if we'd crossed some sort of imaginary boundary when strange things began happening.

The bright green pine trees surrounding us suddenly looked dead, without so much as a gradient. The bark on the pines went from earthy colored to ash, then to a stark bone white. Only minutes in, the pine trees were completely bare and sagged as though they held weight on their shoulders. They looked as if they'd been dead a long time. I combed my fingers through my disheveled hair, sucking in a breath, anything to calm my nerves.

Trees don't just die like that.

What could that be a result of, poison? Acid rain?

The others had noticed it too, it was clear in the wide set of Alice's eyes and the way she leaned forward to grip Jasper's hand from behind his headrest. Rose's cornflower eyes tensed in the corners and her jaw set. The only person seemingly unaffected by the surroundings was Bella, silently watching outside of her window.

"Bella? What's going on?" I worked hard to ensure my voice sounded steady for her sake but the urgency was probably a dead give away. Bella's pale features continued to stay void of any expression, her voice reflected all the remorse she withheld instead.

"We're close." She murmured. "Even the trees can smell death. They die too." She murmured sadly to the window, looking beyond the blur of ashen trees. I reached over to touch her hand.

She gave no reaction that I could see.

With a few more curse words muttered from Emmett, sharp turns of the steering wheel, the van finally stopped.

"Well, this is as close as we're getting." Emmett muttered with a sigh, scrubbing his brow with a large fist. He turned off the engine and the silence was deafening. One by one we unbuckled our seatbelts and turned our necks to the windshield to see where the barren landscape finally took us. A barbed wire fence lined the perimeter of the sloping forest. At the bottom of the valley, another barb wire fence guarded a massive building.

We stared wordlessly in awe and in fear of this monstrous building that loomed over us, even with us being on the top of the hill.

So this was it.

Volturi Labratories.

I didnt know quite what To expect when I thought of a laboratory that created vampire hybrids. It wasn't Transylvania but it certainly wasn't this towering building, either.

The huge concrete building looked unusual as there were no windows, just a slab of concrete that towered over us. There were no signs indicating what this building stood for, save for a eerie logo, a single gold 'V' with a four plated crest between the letter. I squinted my eyes to see a lone black stone that glinted off of the top of it.

The street lamps that surrounded the building casted an almost reddish glow to it, even from this distance. The entire atmosphere looked ominous. Bella sat stiffly in her seat, as if fear had set a rod in her neck and spine.

"Are you alright, Bella?" I asked softly.

Bella

"I... don't know." I mumbled, looking down at my trembling hands on my knees.

Flashbacks ran through my mind, of the many senselessly painful experiments, of living animals, even people being thrown into my test lab, and waking up to the destruction I'd caused as I submerged from the state I was in. I watched feeling half-alive as corpses were being dragged from out of my laboratory. They looked more like lumps of flesh and broken bones than people sometimes. I'd hear the staff's whispers about me to each other in response to my killing.

'Jesus, what a slaughterhouse.'

'Is that 1906's test subjects again? Isn't it obvious with the way they're ripped to shreds?'

'She's a monster.'

Was that all I was?

A monster?

Edward

Bella's eyes went dark, her irises were dead compared to the lively amber color I'd grown to love so much.

She opened the van door in silence and stepped outside, but it was clear she wasn't taking in any of the surroundings. I immediately jumped out of the van too, feeling a harsh wind sting my cheeks. Bella walked gracefully through the snow as if she were in a trance.

She's reliving her past.

I caught up to her in the snow, grabbing her hand. She stared blankly at me, hardly registering the exchange.

"Hey," I murmured. "I'm here. Talk to me." She shook her head childishly, at the suggestion of talking. My heart melted at the endearing gesture, which contrasted so harshly with her cold and beautiful exterior. I pulled her behind a lone half-living pine tree, out of sight from the van. I steadied her body against the bark of the tree.

"Bella," The sound of my voice made her lips tremble and my chest pinched in on itself.

"It's just you and me," I whispered, trying to sound reassuring while combing a hand through her night colored hair. "You can talk to me." The moonlight casted long shadows across her face and she suddenly looked somber.

Bella

I knew why they wanted me back.

I was a killer, and likely their best one. I learned this later, as the familiar faces I'd see in the hallways began to cease. New batches of half breads came out as routinely as cell phone generations did and the ones that "phased out" had either run and been captured, were killed by a stronger half breed or was too worthless for Volt to keep alive. It was more reason to suspect that they wouldn't have kept me for so long unless I had something to offer them.

I have something to offer them.

I may be a monster to them, but that was what kept me alive all these years.

And now, it's enough to keep my friends alive, too.

And Edward.

I knew what this was, what it meant to me now. A trade. As long as I complied with the Volturi, they would leave Forks alone, and my friends to safety.

I used the newfound epiphany as courage. As the strength I needed.

I looked at Edward as he grabbed my hand, the pleasing look in his eyes and the set in his eyebrows that told me he was concerned about me. I looked back down at his hand, trying to memorize the very shape of his long fingers and every crease in them.

Maybe I couldn't be with Edward forever.

But maybe I can still save him.

It was all so clear now. The time I'd spent with Edward was real and belonged to me, it was as real as the hand that was holding mine. The memories of the life I'd experienced was the one thing Volt couldn't take from me. Perhaps we wouldn't share a future, but to have found.. purpose in life? I would've rather found that than to have been ignorant to it forever.

I felt a smile creep onto my face even through the tears that blurred my vision.

Even if I was imprisoned forever

Within Volt's steel walls

I could still live

In my memories with Edward.

It wasn't all for nothing.

I found a purpose.

I couldn't explain the feeling that overwhelmed me. I wanted desperately to express the lack of regret I felt, the permanence of my affection for him, how I wanted k nothing more than to share time with him.

That I wouldn't find this again.

What do humans call this?

Edward

Bella went from a hypnotized state, to studying my hand, to smiling sadly within a matter of a minute and I was confused.

What is going on?

"I'm so glad I met you." She whispered shakily. Supple lips curved up into a smile despite the trembling.

I froze. For the first time, I had no words.

Why are you speaking in past-tense?

"Bella, no-" my voice choked and I swallowed hard, trying to hold it together. "Bella this isn't goodbye. We'll get you out." She shook her head sadly down at the ground, before looking up, with a melancholy smile.

"We will, Bella." I persisted. She touched my face with the tips of her fingers, stoked my cheek. It sent electricity through me and I sighed.

For a moment everything was okay. I closed my eyes, taking in the comfort of her touch, the rare silence in the cold air that finally ceased howling.

"I love you, Edward." She said softly.

The clarity in her words startled me, and I opened my eyes. I studied her face like an idiot.

Did I somehow foolishly mishear?

That'd be embarrassing.

In the moonlight, her expression was a mix of melancholy, happiness, fear, contentment. It confirmed I didn't make a mistake. She'd said it.

I was speechless. I stood there. Like an idiot.

"It was worth it." She whispered, as if it served as an explanation. Silver tears streamed down her face despite her angellic smile.

Was any martyr in the history of folklore and mankind so selfless and beautiful?

I struggled to find my words, my mouth must've been agape.

I can't imagine a life without Bella.

I refuse to live a life without her.

"We're getting you out, Bella." I vowed through a tight throat. I closed the distance between us and bent down to kiss her hard, cupping her face from the wind that howled around us.

Bella.

The name for this feeling...

"I love you Edward." I couldn't believe the words left my mouth. They tasted warm in my mouth and I knew I had no regrets. The wind seemed to stop for a moment, as if they earned to listen to my confession, too.

His green eyes widened as if he'd been hallucinating, and he didn't utter a single word. He parted his lips as if to say something but shook his head instead.

He brought a radiating warm hand to my cheek and tilted my face up to his, kissing me deeply.

I almost forgot why we stood in the brittle wind and lost myself in the warmth that his body exuded despite the frigid air, our poisonous surroundings. I felt safe, wanted, and reached the epiphany I needed to hear all this time, since the very beginning.

Despite the paranoia, looking behind my shoulder, it was still better than staying Volt's caged bird.

Even if Volt were to take me out for leaving, it was worth it.

Having discovered a life with Edward was worth all of that.

This life was worth dying for.

And in opposition, I finally found something to live for, too.

I did my best to convey that to Edward without speaking, letting my lips press against his, my tongue speak my lack of regrets.

I knew I didn't have any.

Edward

Her kiss was dizzying.

As always, the trail of electricity that spikes between us ran like Christmas lights between us. I could feel it being absorbed by my body through every point of contact, my fingers, even the tips of our noses where we touched shot golden lightning and I sighed.

I relished the smell of her hair and the taste of her supple lips, knowing it could be the last time I'd smell her freesia scent. I knotted my fingers into her silky locks, pulling her impossibly closer to my face.

Bella pulled away only to surface for air, panting small clouds that hung in the frigid air.

"Be safe." I whispered.

"You too." She murmured back to me.

I couldn't help but push my lips against hers once more before we pulled away.

The electric sensation went away as abruptly as it came the moment our fingers left each other and I hoped to every god I could think of for Bella's safety. Before Bella entered the gap in the barbed electric fence, she looked back at me once. We both nodded and only then she gracefully ducked and stepped through the fence. She disappeared into the darkness.

Emmett Jasper and I agreed to follow Bella from a distance, making no sound as we took three different routes to ensure our safety.

I held the map that Bella drew out from memory for each of us of the laboratory in my hands. The north entrance was a small clearing with a metal door.

I waited nervously behind the trees, double, triple checking my location in relation to the landmarks Bella had pointed out. Bella would be here to meet them in five minutes. According to the plan, Emmett and Jasper would follow from the other side, taking out the guards first.

Then we would take their badges, their suits and gain access into the Laboratory. From there we would break into security locate where they took Bella, reconvene and then burn the place to the ground.

Time passed by achingly slow, torturing me with his laziness.

I stayed hidden behind the shadow of the trees, keeping my back flat against the trunk as I looked in all directions for any sign of Emmett, Jasper, or Bella. The door was still closed, with no sign that anyone was approaching it. I checked my watch for the millionth time in five minutes.

Come on guys, Bella would come in any minute now...

Fearing the worst, I tightened my grip on the sleeve of tranquilizers strapped to the inside of my arm.

Did I somehow go to the wrong entrance?

Were they intercepted before coming here?

If they were, do they know where I am, too?

The sound of leaves crackled from under my feet.

But I didn't move a muscle.

Shit.

My eyes widened in realization when I looked down and saw another pair of boots behind mine.

"It said come alone, didn't it?" A quiet voice from behind sounded in my ear, I stiffened. The nameless voice was one I didn't recognize, and the stiff prod from a metallic object was pressed into my back was all the reminder I needed to stay as still as I could.

It was a trap.

I knew better than to turn around to face this nameless instigator, so I spoke to him instead, carefully.

"I couldn't leave her alone and defenseless." I whispered back to the voice. I cursed myself for the senseless honesty. He uttered one sarcastic chuckle at my reply.

"A shame. We wanted 1906, but you'll do. Stay still, don't move a muscle." I became inhumanely still, and heard the zap of electricity before I felt it course through me. A blast of pain rippled through me, paralyzing the muscles on my left side.

My legs gave out from under me and a hard object hit the back of my head hard enough that I blacked out before I hit the ground. I vaguely remember opening my eyes once after my arms and legs were tied behind me. I struggled to see anything other than the perpetrator's silhouette and the forest canopy spinning. I hung my head as I was being dragged, barely hanging on the brink of consciousness. The last thing I heard was the doors to the north entrance closing behind us and the dings of an elevator. I sent a silent prayer out to Bella before my eyes closed and I slipped into utter darkness.

Bella, wherever you are, I hope you're okay.