Taking Back the Crown

by JCMorrigan

Mozenrath. Archibald Snatcher. Roman Torchwick. Mad Madam Mim. Yzma. The Huntsman. Wuya. Ayam Aghoul. Their mission: take over the multiverse, or look fabulous trying. Rated M for swearing, steamy implications and VERY bloody battles. Contains slash and het shipping.

139. High Tide

In the most remote part of the Seven Deserts, far from where any sane human being would think to travel, there was a building carved of sandstone among the golden sand, shaped like a cluster of domes. It had arched windows and doors carved into its walls, but wooden shutters for all to keep out the sandstorms – ensuring any sand that blew by would only smooth out the walls of the domes further.

Inside the cool of the largest dome, Mozenrath sat at a table across from another person, one who he hadn't seen fit to contact in a long time. And for good reason. His host had placed before them two cups of tea, steaming hot, and Mozenrath wasn't altogether certain he could trust his. Because his host probably didn't brew tea that was consumable by humans, and also because his host probably wanted him poisoned.

"I know in the past we've had our…differences," Mozenrath said with a casual wave of his hand and a winning smile. "You've betrayed me, I've betrayed you, you decided to grow a conscience and ruin the job I paid you well for, you trapped me in a magic-resistant bolas that shocked me into unconsciousness and potentially awakened something in me I really didn't want to deal with, you did a lot of things. Me? Well, despite my reputation, I don't think I treated you that unfairly. I propose we let bygones be bygones."

The man seated across from him took a deep draught of the steaming tea. He was covered in grayish-green scales, with a reptilian face structure to match. He was clothed in a thick tunic lined with fur, and in a few other layers of fabric beyond that, a cape billowing behind. As he set his teacup down, he gave Mozenrath a cold glare.

"You hurt a friend of mine," the Mukhtar said. "One who owed me a debt."

"And need I remind you that at the time I first hired you, he was NOT your friend and you did NOT owe him anything? That happened after you took the job."

The Mukhtar swirled his teacup. "I suppose."

"And knowing your fixation on codes of honor, that has to be significant to you." Mozenrath leaned an elbow onto the table, resting his chin in his hand and firing the Mukhtar a devious grin. "I told you upfront what I wanted; no lies. I followed through on my end of the bargain. And what did you do to me in return?"

The Mukhtar sighed. "That is true. But you understand my conflict of interest."

"Which is why I'm offering you a new gig. No more conflicts of interests. That Genie, I'd rather capture on my own anyway, and I already know you wouldn't stand in my way if I won that fight fair and square. But I'm actually looking at some different opponents. Ones I don't think you'll find so easy to befriend. And, on that token, I've made quite a few friends myself. Maybe, if all goes well, you can find some like minds among them. After all…in the end, what are you if not a hunter? Don't tell me you've renounced genie hunting after our little incident."

The Mukhtar's eyes drifted down to the cup. And though Mozenrath wasn't usually good at reading others, that gesture said it all.

"Oh-ho-ho, you HAVE, haven't you!" Mozenrath jeered. "And now that you've run out of genies you can take with a clear conscience…you have no idea where to go next, do you?"

"To hunt is in my blood," the Mukhtar admitted. "But the genies of the Seven Deserts…they can no longer be taken."

"To my next question. Are you still a killer?"

"If the target is right and the price is paid."

"And what constitutes a 'wrong' target?"
"Personal interest," the Mukhtar admitted. "There is no lone attribute that determines it."

"So you're not gonna hold back just because someone's a pure little cinnamon roll who never did anything wrong in their life!"

"I have ceased to hunt genies because of my friend," the Mukhtar confirmed. "There is no other reason."

"Well, what if I told you there's one genie out there that you, me, and him would all be glad to see in manacles? No conflict of interest there."

The Mukhtar looked back to Mozenrath. "There is one I can name. Are you saying he yet exists?"

"He just doesn't check in on this world that often, that's all," Mozenrath stated. "But I can assure you, Jafar is still very much at large." The smirk returned. "And you can't tell me you don't want the clout from making that capture. Or even the kill."

"And what is your aim?"

"My friends and I are in the business of conquest, and we're about to make a territory venture," Mozenrath explained. "A very, very big one. But there are a few roadblocks in our way, starting with the fact that several of my own went hunting down Jafar on account of the 'ounce of prevention' doctrine, and, well, it's not that I don't believe in them, but wouldn't it make his defeat that much more humiliating if a professional dropped in to rub salt in the wound?"

"I see," the Mukhtar said. "You wish to protect your own friends."

"I never said th – "

"An admirable goal. I suppose even you could not completely reject companionship. If this is the truth…then the price is halved."

"I'm not falling for that." Mozenrath slammed a purse onto the table. "Here's the standard amount plus a generous tip. Which means you have the weight of this much in denarii on your conscience if you decide to turn traitor."

The Mukhtar picked up the pouch. Weighed it in his hand. "This is more than sufficient. What must I do?"

"You're going to another world," Mozenrath explained. "Think of it as a clean slate. A new opportunity. A place where you can indulge your natural instincts without having to worry about betraying anyone you crossed paths with here."

"Tell me of this world," the Mukhtar bade Mozenrath. "Everything you know. I require strategy."

Mozenrath gave a short, triumphant laugh. "Glad to hear it. This world is called 'Remnant,' and as a matter of fact, it's largely populated by hunters much like yourself. I think you're going to fit in just fine."

...

A jet-black raven winged her way through the campus of Haven Academy, tilting and drifting on the wind. The window of the headmaster's office seemed almost to rise to meet her rather than the other way around; she perched on the sill, then shifted form as she slid neatly inside, two heeled boots stamping onto the floorboards, a mane of dark hair cascading and waving.

To Raven Branwen's surprise, Leo Lionheart was waiting for her, hands behind his back and an odd grin on his face. "Leo," she greeted with a curt nod. "I think this is the least startled you've ever been by my appearance."

"Oh, uh – " Hannibal realized his mistake, and made up for it with an overblown flinch. "Aah! You sure did scare me."

Raven tilted her head, then chose to ignore that. "I want to make sure our plan is quite clear," she said as she began to stride forward.

Hannibal moved to block her off with his body. "Ain't no need to draw this out," he said. Then remembered Leo had far less Southern twang than that in his voice. "Surely we can work out the details in brief."

Really, he didn't want her to walk past the backdrop illusion of an empty office that Neo had put up right behind him, because once you got past that layer, the rest of them were waiting there, watching with bated breath. They could have hidden somewhere less obvious, true, but no one wanted to miss out on this rendez-vous.

Neo cringed at the sight of Raven, and Roman put a comforting hand on her shoulder. In the meantime, Zorg whispered, "Is she wearin' what I think…?"

"It appears to be detached trouser legs beneath a short skirt." Snatcher shook his head.

"Tacky," Miltia sighed.

Raven began to pace back and forth in front of the window. "The moon will be at its apex tomorrow," she explained. "At that point in time, I will use the portal I have bonded to you in order to open the pathway to the academy. Before you send any signal, ensure that our foes have gathered. I want to have the element of surprise toward them, not the other way around."

"About that." Hannibal realized the potential flaw in this plan. After all, her portal was bound to Leo Lionheart. Not Hannibal Roy Bean wearing his face. "I think there's a way we can kill two birds with one stone, so to speak. If you open the portal to your brother, you can be sure you get there the same time as him."

"We have no guarantee he'll put in an appearance," Raven replied.

"Actually, I've been meetin' with him regular to make sure he'll show up," Hannibal admitted.

Raven's head whipped toward him, her eyes glinting with an energy beyond Aura. "You WHAT? And you didn't think to tell me?"

"I thought it was a foregone conclusion," Hannibal said. Better than letting her know he didn't have the full details of her agreement with the real Leo. "He's got all the kiddos with him, too. How many forces are you bringin'? It's gonna need to be a lot."

Raven turned away from him, watching out the window. "They aren't MY forces," she grumbled. "They're Salem's. She sent nine. I'll be bringing one. The one that was requested."

"Nine seems a little too – "

Raven rounded on him; "They have powers you can't even begin to imagine. Whenever they visit my camp, my people have to wait on them hand and foot, or else – " She gritted her teeth. Sucked in a breath. Forced herself to calm down. "No one can hope to stand against them. I don't care how many forces Qrow has brought. He will fall, and so will every underdone Huntsman he's enlisted."

"I don't suppose it changes anything that one of these is your daughter."

Raven gave a gasp; "Yang?"

"No. The other one. Little Red."

Raven's brow furrowed. "That one isn't my daughter," she seethed. "Though it isn't like it matters. There's only one person I need to get through this fight alive. The Spring Maiden."

She turned on a heel. "Don't get in their way," she warned. "Or on their bad side. And I'm not supposed to tell you this part, but I wouldn't use any of the main roads on campus, either. Once the White Fang have finished laying all of the explosives…there won't be anything left but rubble."

She shrank down again, taking avian form upon the sill, then launched herself into the air, soaring away from Haven.

Once it was clear Raven was far gone, Neo dropped the illusion. "Well, she's as much a bitch as ever," Roman huffed.

"How's a bandit queen s'posed to fight in that tiny li'l mini?" Zorg asked.

"Wow, she doesn't even mind that her stepdaughter is gonna get slaughtered!" Kokichi laughed. "That's so cool!"

"It…really isn't." Drakken bristled. "Even I would draw the line at my own mother!"

"See, stacked up next to her, I almost look like the good guy here." Roman flicked the brim of his hat. "Would I send Neo to her death to get ahead? No. Would I send Melanie here?"
"I'm Miltia," Miltia corrected.

"You fuckin' said you were Melanie," Roman reminded her.

"No I didn't," Miltia lied. "Anyway, would you send me to die?"

"No," Roman said. "Because we're a big evil family, even if you do annoy the shit out of me. And I think as a big evil family, it's only fair we show Raven the real meaning of family values."

"And fashion," Zorg broke in.

"Let it go," Drakken huffed.

Snatcher slid his arm through Roman's, hooking it at the elbow. "Hardly anyone better than you to teach that lesson. But as for me, I am looking ahead to her associates. Invading the home of a lesser-to-do ne'er-do-well and trampling on her at every opportunity? Pressing her into service and treating her like a peasant? Why, if it weren't so apparent she brought this upon herself by being vapid and weak, I'd almost find sympathy for her. Call this pre-emptive revenge…I shall strike them down before they've a chance to humiliate me so."

"And you are SO the best person for that," Roman said before they shared a quick peck.

"Well, what do you think?" Mim asked the Huntsman. "What are WE the best for?"

"Causing destruction," the Huntsman told her. "Methodical killing on my part and wanton carnage on yours."

"I was hoping you'd say that!" Mim chirped, going up on one foot to clasp her hands. "Ooh, this is going to be so exciting! We're going to be able to take them all out in one blow!"

"Not if our robot parts don't arrive on time," Drakken reminded them. "And where is Vexen? Doesn't Mozenrath know we have a surprise ambush we need him for?"

On cue, a knock at the door. "Don't come in," Hannibal called out. "Just tell me the news."

"Sir," a meek assistant's voice came from behind the door. "There's a delivery. Though it came through the BACK yard. I'm…not sure I trust it?"

"I'll just have to examine it carefully," Hannibal said. "You stay outta the way. Wouldn't want you gettin' hurt."

"Yes, sir!" The sound of footsteps indicated the departure of the messenger.

"Aren't you supposed to be playing the part of the coward?" Snatcher reminded Hannibal.

"Ain't like that's gonna matter after tomorrow anyhow," Hannibal replied. "Curtain's fallin' down either way."

"I think it's a GOOD idea to blow our cover a day early!" Kokichi laughed.

"Which means it's a horrible, horrible idea!" Mim folded her arms.

"Uuuurgh…our delivery's here!" Drakken barged ahead. "Let's go pick it up before it can get stolen by that sort of person who waits outside people's doorsteps on Christmas to take their presents!"

"You seem like that very type," the Huntsman observed.

"THAT'S HOW I KNOW HOW THEY WORK!" Drakken yelled.

The mechanical parts had arrived in the form of several packages. Atop the largest was fixed a note: "Got what you wanted, losers. ~M"

"That's Mel for ya," Miltia remarked. "So, like, how are we gonna get these inside?"

"Leave it to me!" Mim urged.

What she ended up doing was transfiguring into a wagon, but not an autonomously mobile one, which meant the Huntsman, Roman, and Zorg had to lash ropes to her and drag her and their cargo laboriously down the hall, which was exactly her plan. Once she'd enjoyed the free ride and they reached the basement they'd cleared to use as a workspace, Mim resumed humanoid form. The packages were opened, revealing several pieces that made Zorg and Drakken's eyes light up, and after the pair of engineers had rolled out a set of blueprints, the entire team set to work.

Save Kokichi, who just played cards against himself in the corner and talked to himself as though he were a separate opponent, because he couldn't be bothered to help.

"You could help, you know!" Drakken told him. "Didn't you pilot one of these things once? For a whole trial?"

"That was Kaito reading my script, dumbass," Kokichi replied. "…Or was it?"

"I suggest we don't attempt to engage him," the Huntsman sighed. "Only that we focus on not letting him escape."

"Thankfully, you are in the presence of the man who constructed the mechanism that threatened an entire town into giving him a leadership position," Snatcher said as he picked up a wrench. Then attempted to spin it in his hand. And bopped himself in the face with it; he quickly dropped it and kicked it aside.

"Now, if I remember that story right," Zorg stated, "you didn't do any of the buildin'. Only the orderin'-around of the buildin'."

"Which makes me all the more qualified to act as supervisor and deal out orders," Snatcher decided.

"How didn't you see that coming?" Mim snapped.

"Mr. Zorg!" Snatcher snapped. "Dr. Drakken! You two work on the…on the central integral engine. Madam Mim, I am entrusting you with…that device that attaches to the left. Mr. Liu, deal with the more dangerous attachments. Miss Neopolitan and Miss Malachite, see to aesthetic qualities. Mr. Bean, you can handle the, er, mainframe. And Roman? Don't overwork yourself."

"Ohhhh my gods," Miltia groaned.

Roman shrugged; "I'll take it. You heard the man, Neo. Get to work on those aesthetics."

Neo punched his upper arm in response.

An hour into the project, a Corridor of Darkness opened up in the lab, and Vexen strode in, asking quite haughtily, "What HAVE I missed?"

He was received with an assortment of greetings – "AYYY!" "'Ello there!" "VEXEN!" "Like, who the hell is that?"

Vexen's gaze honed in on the last of that set. "Who is this?" he asked.

"Miltia," Roman replied.

"Actually, I'm Melanie," Miltia teased.

"And who is MELANIE?" Vexen asked.

"Long story," Roman replied. "Luckily, we're gonna be at this for a few hours. Settle in."

"Wh – WHAT is going on here?" Vexen sputtered.

"We're building a giant robot," Drakken replied.

"I can SEE th – " Vexen shut his eyes, furrowing his brow. "I'm not going to get anywhere further with this line of questioning, am I? I suppose I shall have to hear it from the beginning."

"Before we start." Roman pulled out his scroll, laying it on the floor. "If we're gonna be here that long, I am realizing we are going to need the proper tunes. Can't get anything done without tunes."

"I like the way you think!" Drakken told him.

"Suggestions?" Roman asked. "I've got access to streaming from all worlds here. Sky's the limit."

When Vexen cleared his throat as though he were about to make a suggestion, everyone looked to him in surprise. After all, he was the last person anyone had expected to care about music (Miltia had known him for less than five minutes and could already see that much).

"Mr. Vexen," Snatcher prompted. "Was there a particular serenade you wished to hear?"

"…Call it a curiosity," Vexen said. "I merely wish to see if a certain song I've been informed of is some sort of enchantment that will cause all who hear it to go deaf or some other nasty nonsense."

"Sounds like fun!" Mim chirped. "What song?"

"It's called…'Supernova Girl,'" Vexen muttered. "By an artist who goes by the name of 'Proto Zoa.'"

"Got it!" Roman tapped at his screen. "Now, let's see here…"

The song began with a sound like an airplane lifting off before a harmonic chorus, a confident "Zoom zoom zoom!" After it was repeated, the singer began the song proper, a pop ballad with heavy synthesis on the vocals: "Stargazing mega-fast! You hit me like a cosmic blast! Caught up in a planetary whirl…"

"Oh, I like this," Roman remarked. "Kitschy, but catchy."

"And not the genre I'd expected from you," the Huntsman said with suspicion.

"It was a recommendation," Vexen muttered. (While trying his best to think the song was trite, but Drakken had already desensitized him with the O Boyz, and honestly, it wasn't as cutesy as Sayu's work, so Vexen could more than live with it.)

"From whom?" Snatcher asked.

"You wouldn't believe it if I told you," Vexen replied. "Moreover, you wouldn't WANT to know the answer."

"Well, don't just stand there!" Zorg encouraged. "Get on in here so we can get this show on the road!"

"You can settle in working on the bells and whistles," Snatcher told him.

"And YOU can do something besides stand there and GIVE ORDERS YOU DON'T KNOW THE MEANING OF!" Vexen snapped.

So Snatcher ended up begrudgingly doing actual technical work on the project. This was the time everyone used to catch Vexen up on all that had occurred in his absence. The song ran down in that time, but Miltia demanded it be replayed, and Roman put it on repeat, which Vexen couldn't really rationalize his gratitude toward. (Such trite imagery. Only a basic knowledge of cosmic entities. But…more than could be expected of others in the genre. And it had a beat.)

At one particular part of the tale, Vexen hemmed and hawed. He looked to Neo; "Transgender, is it?"

Neo nodded slowly, unsure where this was going.

"And I presume you haven't had the opportunity to have the particular surgeries," Vexen commented.

Neo's socket wrench hit the floor with a ping, and she rose, fury in her eyes.

"Let me finish," Vexen told her, rising to his own height. "I am merely stating that to perform such an operation would be mere child's play to one who has created replicas of humanity from the ground up, and that I would relish the chance to demonstrate it."

Neo tilted her head, unsure if she should be offended or if Vexen was trying to get at something.

Roman piped up: "That's Vexen-speak for 'I'm offering you free gender reassignment surgery if you want it, but I don't know how to do anything for anyone else without making it about how smart I am.'"

Neo gasped, clapping both hands to her mouth.

"To put it bluntly," Vexen huffed.

Neo rushed forward and practically tackled Vexen in a tight embrace.

"AND THIS IS VEXEN-SPEAK FOR 'DON'T TOUCH ME!'" Vexen yelled, swatting his hands in the air (yet noticeably not physically pushing her away).

Neo eventually let him go so they could get to work once more. "Supernova Girl" had repeated several times by that point, and on the next chorus, one could hear Snatcher, Zorg, Drakken, Mim, Miltia, and the ever-out-of-tune Roman joining in with "THERE'S A PLANETARY INTERSTELLAR HYDROSTATIC! THERE'S NO GRAVITY BETWEEN US! OUR LOVE IS AUTOMATIC!"

(So Deymos had done something right. One measly thing.)

Now it came time to affix gun barrels to the limbs of the metal behemoth. "Wowwwww!" Kokichi cried. "That looks suuuuuper deadly!"

"Damn right it is," Zorg told him. "I'm increasin' the trigger speed on this baby from even the ZF1. Gonna be able to slaughter a crowd of a thousand in less than a minute."

"Useful if we should come across anyone who enjoys duplicating themselves in their element and putting a time limit on it," Vexen muttered.

"Um…what the fuck?" Miltia asked him.

Vexen didn't answer.

"Awww, but that's gonna take all the fun out of iiiiit," Kokichi whined. "Why would we even bother fighting them if there's not gonna be a FIGHT part and they just die? We're the villains of the story! We gotta have our chance to rub it in, do the monologues!"

"Monologues are a good way to get fucking shot," Roman told him.

"Furthermore, our goal is to rid ourselves of the nuisances," Snatcher growled. "So long as they stand in our way – Overtakers and so-called heroes alike – we can't get anything done and we SHAN'T get anything done!"

"Also, it'll be so much fun to watch the blood repaint the lobby red!" Mim cackled. "Unless the big red one's blood is a different color! Oh, that would be so wonderful, to have one shade that doesn't match!"

"Yeah, you're right!" Kokichi laughed. "I can't wait for the massacre!"

But he felt a pit growing in his stomach.

"I've said it once, I'll say it again, a million times," Zorg sighed. "A warrior ain't no use to me. Now, a KILLER. That's what I respect."

"I couldn't agree more," the Huntsman said with a nod.

"I really, REALLY have to take a shit," Kokichi announced.

"Ewww," Miltia groaned.

"Bathroom's over there, cockmouth." Roman gestured to a door. "No escape routes, so get that out of your head."

"Awww, you got me!" Kokichi chuckled. "But I still gotta take that shit!"

He scooted into the basement bathroom. One stall, one toilet. No windows, no extra exits. But that didn't matter. He hadn't come here to escape.

He curled up in the corner, hugging his knees and doing his best to breathe slowly as the others' words of slaughter and blood and carnage replayed in his mind.

...

Qrow was the only one who didn't know it was the night before the clash, and no one could tell him. All he knew was that Leo Lionheart had extended him an invitation to come to Haven to form a plan of action regarding the Spring Maiden, and to go armed was merely a precaution.

But the others went about that night with a sense of sobriety. Kairi took last-minute lessons with Ozpin out on the balcony, honing her technique. The others milled about, either chatting with one another or awkwardly avoiding even hinting at what was to come.

Most had ended up in bed. Ruby trotted out onto the balcony to see how Kairi and Ozpin were doing; as Keyblade and staff clashed, Ruby noted that Kazuichi was also present, kneeling in the corner with his Gummi armor spread out around him in pieces.

"Hey!" Ruby put up a hand. "So…uh…feeling better about tomorrow?"

"Yeah!" Kairi came to a halt, turning to face Ruby. "I really think I'm – "

Ozpin seized her arm from behind, pinning it up behind her back. "You can't let your guard down like that in an actual battle," he sighed.

"Nice try." Kairi remembered what she'd taught him and jerked her wrist in the direction of his thumb, where his grip on her was weakest. That broke his hold. (He'd been surprised to find that no one had ever taught her that, and even more surprised to learn how many times she could've used it.)

"That's great!" Ruby smiled. "It looks like we have this…pretty much in the bag."

"Glad one of us is confident," Kazuichi said from the corner.

"Several of us are quite confident," Ozpin corrected.

"But…I get the feeling you aren't." Kairi tilted her head at Ruby. "You look nervous."

"You know, just…" Ruby shrugged. "Maybe it's just that we usually don't have this much advance warning. A lot of the time, when we head into a fight, we don't have any time to worry about it. But this time…there's so much riding on it, and this isn't going to be any small incident."

"So why don't we just ditch?" Kazuichi suggested. "They can't fight us if we're not there!" He tapped his head with his wrench.

"But that's not the point!" Ruby argued. "If we don't show up, then they have a chance at getting at the Relic hidden in Haven, and then…" She flung an arm out to the side. "Every world out there is counting on us not letting that happen!"

"Nothing is ever certain," Ozpin agreed. "All we can do is try our best. And I am confident that everyone here is equipped to do so."

"You're right." Ruby looked to the ground, shuffling her feet. "I guess the rest is just the nervousness that happens no matter what."

But there was another piece to it, and she finally mustered up the courage to bring it up. "There's – "

The door slid open behind her. She turned to see Jaune backlit by the home's interior. "Uh…done…with your lesson?" Jaune asked.

"Yep!" Kairi nodded. "My schedule's free."

"You wanna come out here and talk with us?" Ruby asked. "We're just going over…well, you know."

"I, uh…" Jaune scratched the back of his head. "I'd love to, Ruby, but…with everything coming up…"

"It's…maybe…" Kairi added, blushing. "I mean…we were hoping to have some time alone to talk things over."

"Is that…not what we're doing?" Ruby asked.

"Geeeez!" Kazuichi practically howled. "Ruby, it's the last day before one of them could maybe potentially die!" He grinned. "They wanna get it on before that can happen!"

That sent Jaune and Kairi into incoherent babbling that seemed to simultaneously confirm and deny what Kazuichi had said.

"Ohhh," Ruby realized. "You mean ALONE-alone time. Got it. Well, don't let me stop you."

Kairi walked into the house, and she and Jaune had arms around each other's waists as they proceeded into Kairi's designated bedroom to say and do indeterminate things that were private.

Ruby felt Oscar's hand on her shoulder from behind. "I have every bit of faith in you, Ruby," Ozpin said through Oscar's mouth. "It's more than just your level of skill. It's who you are. I hope you can believe in yourself to the same degree that I believe in you. There is a reason, after all, that you were admitted to Beacon so early and allowed to be team leader."

"Yeah," Ruby recalled. "My silver eyes."

"Perhaps at first." Ozpin let go of her shoulder. "But then it became obvious there was more to it than that. Goodnight, Ruby."

He left the balcony as well. Ruby shuffled on over to sit down beside Kazuichi; "So whatcha workin' on?"

"Just some upgrades," Kazuichi replied, not taking his eyes off his work. "Y'know how everything around here's also a gun? Well, I already had the gun thing covered. But you know what I didn't have? Armor that was ALSO A SWORD!"

"Cool." Ruby paused. Fidgeted. "Are…are you and Weiss gonna want to be alone too, or – "

"We're not there yet," Kazuichi told her. "It's complicated. That's why we decided to do something different."

"What?"

"We both promised to survive this fight so we wouldn't ever have to worry we missed a last chance for anything."

"That's smart," Ruby said with a soft smile. "So…um…on the subject of dating and liking people and the night before the big day…"

"Ruby." Kazuichi groaned as he set down the wrench, looking up at her with unimpressed, half-lidded eyes. "Are you gonna try to ask me for love advice again? Because I can't make it any clearer that I'm not the guy for that."

"Well, Kairi just went inside with Jaune, and I'm not gonna tell this to Ozpin!" Ruby blurted. "Everyone else is asleep! Who do I have to turn to?"

"Fiiiiiine." Kazuichi picked up two pieces of the armor and tested how the new configurations would fit together. "But I'm not making any promises."

"I'm…worried about tomorrow," Ruby admitted. "And…and all that."

As it happened, shortly before the conversation had turned to such a point, Booster had returned to the domicile from an outing in town. In one hand, he clutched a rose with a false stem: a chocolate rose, wrapped in gleaming red foil. "Okay," he told himself. "You can do this. No big deal. If she doesn't like you, that's just fine. But if she does…well, she probably won't…just don't blow this."

And he proceeded toward the balcony, catching a snippet of her voice on the wind: "I'm…worried about tomorrow. And…and all that."

He nearly slid the door open, but froze, overcome with nerves that made his knees tremble. "Come on!" he admonished himself. "This shouldn't be that scary!"

He could hear Kazuichi talking to Ruby outside; "This is about Booster, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

Booster froze. What?

"You like him, right?"

"Kazuichi, I CAN'T like him. And I think you can see why."

Booster's heart dropped a mile.

"Yeah, I can," Kazuichi replied. "Pretty obvious."

"And I can't – if we end up getting in trouble together, fighting next to him is just gonna screw it all up! I don't wanna say it's his fault, but there's no way we can win, not with him. I'm just – it's – you get it, right?"

Booster, in all his life of being big, couldn't remember having felt so small. So she didn't believe in him. She thought it was obvious to see why she couldn't like him. And he didn't have to ask what that meant.

He stepped back to take his leave.

But then remembered.

XR had specifically told him that if he happened to overhear someone talking rudely about him, he'd better get the full context. And maybe, just maybe, there was hope that it didn't mean she found him so disgusting and incompetent.

In came Kazuichi's voice: "Yeah, I think. Though I'd've thought the fact that he was a space ranger would cancel out the other stuff."

"That makes it worse and you know it."

"The other thing is, I thought you DID like him at one point, so why are you all hung up on how he looks and everything now? I thought you'd be sticking up for him being able to kick ass."

A long pause. Then Ruby said, "You…think I was talking about how he looks? And that he can't kick butt?"

"Uh…yeah? Isn't that the big obvious reason you can't like him and you're afraid this fight won't turn out – "

Booster heard the sound of a light punch. "IDIOT!" Ruby yelled shrilly. "I LOVE how he looks and that's exactly the problem! I'm not worried about HIM screwing up our fight! I'm worried about ME! I can't remember the last time I had a crush this bad, and our victory hinges on if I can focus! I can't focus if I'm too worried about him getting hurt! Do you know how Jo-Adians' brains work? They're IN THEIR BUTTS! Which means if he gets shot in the butt, he might DIE, and then what? I can't deal with that! Or what if he's so super awesome I just get distracted and then Roman shoots my head off?"

"Geez, I get the picture," Kazuichi muttered, obviously reeling from where he'd been struck. "But what's the big reason you can't like him, then?"

"Because if we get back home and it turns out Aerrow was the one I liked better all along…that wouldn't be fair. And I couldn't do that to him. It has to stay under wraps until I'm sure I can make a decision. Or better yet, if I could just see them both as friends, that would get rid of this whole problem. I can't…like him when there's a chance I'm just a time bomb waiting to go off and break his heart."

The chocolate rose slipped from Booster's hands. He quickly gathered it back up; its wrapping had prevented contamination.

XR's advice had been solid. He was about to end the day thinking Ruby found him repulsive…when the truth was, she was juggling feelings for him and someone else, and she wanted to make a decision. Thinking that Ruby was pre-emptively blaming him for a loss in their battle…but already blaming herself.

And she worried about him? She was able to get lost in watching him fight?

He was about ready to burst through that door and confess his own crush then and there.

He was gearing up to leave as though he'd heard nothing, and dispose of the rose.

He was trying so hard not to hate Aerrow in that moment.

If he confessed, that would make her life harder. If he walked away, then they'd never get anywhere, which didn't sound like the best course for either of them. If –

A sudden gasp beside him caught Booster's attention. He'd missed the rest of the conversation entirely, including the part where Ruby and Kazuichi had decided to get up and turn in for the night. Now Ruby was staring at Booster wide-eyed, hands over her mouth.

"How much did you hear?" she squeaked.

He could tell her. He could see if they could begin something.

He could…risk guilting her into said something.

"I didn't hear anything," he lied. "I just showed up. I, uh…" He extended the hand holding the rose. "I just…wanted to give you this for being such a good friend. That's all."

She knew, on some level, that he had heard absolutely all of it. But with all her spinning emotions in her chest, now just wasn't the right time to acknowledge any of it. Not until she could untangle the threads.

"Well, now I feel bad I didn't get you anything." She took the rose. "I owe you one, okay? Because you're a great friend to me, too."

"Hey, how come I don't get candy?" Kazuichi asked. "I'm your fr – "

She elbowed him hard in the gut. Which was practically an admission that she and Booster both knew there was more going on here. But her heartstrings were too tangled, and he was loath to repeat the mistake of Petra all over again.

"We should get some sleep," Ruby suggested. "Tomorrow's the big day."

"Yeah," Booster agreed. "It is."

And without anything further exchanged save for a smile, they departed into separate rooms, Kazuichi stumbling toward his own quarters afterward.

...

To find the number of isophase buoys and buoys called "nuns," as well as the number of the tagged buoy, had only taken a simple kayak trip around the bay. The last number to collect was that of the cairns in the tunnels.

Ven and Papyrus had hoped that Jenna might have lightened up a bit since they last parted, but she was as sour as before, giving them a glance as they entered and no other words. Papyrus said "HELLO!" anyway and went ignored as Jenna focused on wiping down the counter.

"Let's just…give her some more time," Ven suggested.

They opened up the booth that led to the tunnels and set to searching. Only to run into one very large problem.

There were no cairns anywhere. Not even when they traversed the length of the tunnel, scouring it. There was a pile of rocks that looked to be the result of an avalanche, and one peculiar one that was shaped mildly like an anvil, but that didn't really count as a cairn.

"I don't get it," Ven said in dismay. "Why are we supposed to count something that isn't here?"

"WELL, IT COULD BE THAT THE ANSWER IS ZERO," Papyrus realized. "THAT WOULD BE A DIGIT, AFTER ALL. AND A VERY SNEAKY WAY TO GET IT ACROSS."

"But why cairns? Why pick that to be what there's nothing of?"

"WHY NOT CAIRNS?"

Before Ven realized he had no comeback for that, his foot hit something that skittered across the floor of the caverns. He held out his GummiPhone to hit it with a brighter light.

"A ROCK!" Papyrus cried, pointing at it. "NOW, THAT BRINGS BACK MEMORIES OF BEING AT HOME WITH SANS. I WONDER IF HE'S MANAGED TO FEED THAT ROCK WHILE I'VE BEEN AWAY…"

"Hey!" Ven realized. "There's more rocks!" He knelt, gathering them up. "These look like exactly the kind of rock I pictured when you said to make a stack with. They're all flat."

Papyrus gasped; "THE CAIRNS! WE'RE SO SILLY! OH MY GOD! THEY WERE JUST KNOCKED OVER!"

Ven laughed. "The answer was right in front of us the whole time! All we have to do is go back through and find the knocked-over piles of rocks!"

"THEN LET'S GET TO WORK!"

Ven took a couple paces forward – and then froze.

"Papyrus?"

"YES?"

"Hilda…asked us to look for cairns. Not rock piles."

"WE'VE ESTABLISHED THAT."

"And…these are all knocked over."

"VEN…?"

"Papyrus." Ven slowly turned, a look of horror on his face. "Who…who knocked them over?"

If Papyrus could've gone any paler, he would've. "THAT…IS A VERY GOOD QUESTION. ESPECIALLY SINCE, NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT – AND PLEASE REMAIN CALM – THE ONLY REASON TO DO THAT IS IF THEY KNEW WHAT HILDA SENT US AFTER."

"Are we…being followed that closely?" Ven shuddered. "If someone got our phone number…could they hear our conversations by doing something with it, like casting a spell?"

"DON'T BE SILLY," Papyrus scoffed. "THE CAIRNS CAME BY EMAIL…WHICH IS INFAMOUSLY EASIER TO HACK…AND WE OPENED IT IN A PUBLIC BUILDING. OH DEAR."

"It wouldn't have been hard for somebody in the library to realize what we were looking up if they'd seen that email. Or…" Ven shuddered. "I don't wanna think this, but…what if it is Hilda who's tricking us? She's the one who's most easily able to – "

"NOW BEFORE WE GO ANY FURTHER DOWN THAT ROAD," Papyrus said, "HAVE WE CONSIDERED THAT YOU AND I WERE THE ONES WHO KNOCKED OVER THE CAIRNS WHEN WE EXPLORED DOWN HERE?"

"It would've made noise, and felt like something we'd remember. And we KNOW the burglars have been using this passage."

"BUT MAYBE THEY KNOCKED THE CAIRNS DOWN BY ACCIDENT!"

"I hope that's it," Ven sighed. "That's not even a comforting thought…but it's better than the thought that we could be watched even right now."

"WELL, WHATEVER THE CASE, WHOEVER IT WAS DIDN'T DO A VERY GOOD JOB OF GETTING RID OF THE ROCKS ENTIRELY. SO IT WAS PROBABLY AN ACCIDENT. WE CAN FIND THE PILES AND COUNT."

After coming up with a tally, Ven and Papyrus exited the tunnels, back into the café, with the booth sliding back into place behind them.

"We should tell Jenna," Ven said resolutely.

He didn't even need to explain why. Papyrus just nodded and said "I AGREE."

They exited to the main room, which was deserted save for Jenna herself, now mopping the floor. She took one look and redirected her mop so her back was to Ven and Papyrus.

"Jenna," Ven said as he approached.

"Not now," Jenna huffed.

"I know you're keeping some sort of secret," Ven went on. "And maybe it's not our place to know. But the thing is, if you're tied to those tunnels…you could be in real danger."

"Oh, gee, and you think I didn't think of that when I got robbed?"

"JENNA, IT'S MORE COMPLICATED THAN THAT!" Papyrus urged. "WE, AH…WE'VE BEEN DOING A VERY SPECIFIC INVESTIGATION. AND WE HAVE A VERY GOOD REASON TO BELIEVE THAT SOMEONE WHO'S BEEN USING THOSE TUNNELS KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT WE'RE LOOKING INTO. WHICH MEANS YOU COULD BE A TARGET BY ASSOCIATION."

Jenna froze. Bristled. "You realize what this looks like. I knew you were down there. I knew about the tunnels. Who's to say I wasn't the one who left whatever evidence you found? That I'm not the one behind everything?"

"Because…you're our friend," Ven told her. "And sometimes, friends don't end up being trustworthy. But what I've learned is that even after you get lied to over and over, that doesn't mean you should stop putting your trust in people. Maybe you will betray us, but I really, really feel like you're a good person, and that won't happen. I just want you to be safe from whatever's coming."

"IF ANYTHING," Papyrus added.

Slowly, Jenna turned to face them. "What exactly did you find down there?"

"WELL, YOU SEE…" Papyrus thought it over. He trusted Jenna, too – but Hilda might not, and they couldn't afford to have her withdraw her support. "YOU HAVE YOUR SECRETS ABOUT THE TUNNEL, AND WE HAVE OURS."

"That's fair," Jenna said with a nod.

"Just so you know," Ven told her. "We'll leave you alone now, but be careful, okay?"

"I ALMOST DON'T FEEL RIGHT JUST LEAVING HER," Papyrus said.

"You trust me, right?" Jenna retorted. "Then trust that I can take care of myself."

"THEN I GUESS WE'LL GO," Papyrus relented.

The pair turned to leave. But then Jenna said, "Wait."

Both sets of eyes turned back to her.

"If I told you mine," Jenna said, "that doesn't mean you have to tell me yours. I can already tell the two of you couldn't hurt a fly. You couldn't scare anybody, no matter how realistic your costumes can get. But if you really, really just want me to be okay…well…" A sigh. "I feel kinda rotten. Here I was thinking I was about to get accused. But you two deserve to know the truth, and I should stop acting so cold if you're going to be all friendly like that."

"WAIT!" Papyrus threw up his mitted hands. "WE'RE WORRIED SOMEONE'S TRACKING US! IF YOU TELL US SOMETHING SECRET, THEY MIGHT HEAR!"

"If anyone's able to watch us THAT closely, then they already know this part," Jenna said with a smile. A smile that soon faded. "Do you know the rumors about shanghaiing in this town?"

"About…what?" Ven asked.

"ISN'T THAT A CITY SOMEWHERE?" Papyrus added.

"Yes and no," Jenna clarified. "It's also a term for when sailors would want to pick up free labor, so they'd kidnap people, usually by getting them drunk first, and force them onto the crews of their ships. They say Snake Horse Harbor used to be a hotspot for it. That if you let your guard down at the Royal Flush Inn, you might fall asleep in your booth and wake up on a boat."

"The Royal Flush Inn," Ven realized. "That was this place!"

"You're sharp." Jenna smiled. "Thing is, I've always been the one to say it never happened. Old urban legends, stories told to scare kids around campfires. Well…there's a reason I've never liked those stories. Because all of them are true. And I know because my grandfather, who ran this place when it was the Royal Flush, arranged all of the shanghaiings in this town."

The look of shock on Ven and Papyrus' faces was sudden, intense, and almost comical.

"That tunnel you found was how he had captains smuggle people through," Jenna went on. "Of course, that all ended with my parents, and I just try to pretend there isn't a monument to the family scandal beneath the diner. That usually works out when there's not a convoluted conspiracy involving an orca, a trashed boat, and the town dingbat. And if the secret got out, well, maybe I could handle it, but I just can't do that to my parents' reputation. They deserve that chapter of history to just stay closed."

"Whoa," Ven breathed.

"NOW I SEE WHY THAT WAS SO SENSITIVE," Papyrus realized. "BUT FOR YOU TO TRUST US WITH THAT MUST MEAN WE ARE GOOD FRIENDS INDEED!"

"Heh." Jenna was smiling more broadly. "Like I said. You two are the purest people I've ever met. I never even told Katie that, you know, and we – well, we used to be close. Anyway, I've said my piece. If there's a lead down there that tells you…whatever's going on around here, then you have my blessing. Just don't go blabbing what I told you."

"Jenna?" Ven pressed. "Do you…feel bad about what your grandfather did?"

She shrugged. "Sometimes. After all, I can't leave the place, bloody history or no. Not in the right financial position…and if I'm being honest, there's a sentimental value here, too. Sometimes I wonder if it's just in the blood. The Deblins are only a stitch away from going crazy. Maybe I'll be next."

"I kinda thought so," Ven told her. "I just wanted to let you know that you're your own person, no matter what. Even if your existence is tied to another person, that doesn't define who you are. What your grandfather did was bad, but it doesn't mean your parents are, or that you are. I think you have a chance to do a lot of good. And honestly? You've already turned this place into somewhere people really feel safe."

Jenna's smile turned somber. "Thanks, kid. I didn't know how much I needed to hear that. Anyway, if this says one thing about my family, it's that we're tough. I think I can handle whatever comes my way."

"COULD WE GIVE YOU OUR NUMBER?" Papyrus asked. "THAT WAY, YOU COULD CALL IF YOU NEEDED US. AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT KEEPING IT SECRET. THE BAD GUYS, WHOEVER THEY ARE, ALREADY KNOW IT, SO THAT SHIP SAILED. SO TO SPEAK."

"Are you two sure YOU'RE okay?" Jenna raised a brow.

"DEFINITELY!" Papyrus replied.

They traded contact information, and finally, Papyrus and Ven left the building.

"SAY…VEN?" Papyrus asked, halting before they could mount their bikes. "WHAT YOU TOLD JENNA ABOUT BEING HER OWN PERSON. DO YOU BELIEVE IT?"

"I have to," Ven replied. "For so long, I was only a fragment of Sora, a memory of who I used to be. And before that, I had my Darkness ripped right out of me, and I saw what that part of me went on to become. I could've been something awful. But Vanitas is Vanitas, and Sora is Sora, and I'm me."

"BUT I'M THINKING MORE LIKE…IN TERMS OF FAMILY AND GRANDFATHERS. IF YOU HAD A GRANDFATHER WHO DID A BAD THING – "

"What, you mean Xehanort?"

"WELL, SORT OF. WOULD THAT CHANGE WHO YOU ARE?"

"I think…" Ven thought it over. "It'd make me sad. And it'd make me feel hurt, like I wished things had been different back in those days. But in the end, I know I can be stronger than that. I know now that I'll want to exist as me. I get to decide what I am. Xehanort doesn't have that say anymore."

"WAS THERE…A TIME WHEN YOU TRUSTED HIM, THOUGH?"

"Of course there was," Ven said softly. "But sometimes, like I said…trust runs out. And it hurts. He took me in when I had no family, and he seemed like just what I needed at first. Now I know he wasn't. That's something I have to live with. But I think…I've moved on from it. So I know it's not the end of the world that he wasn't what I was hoping for."

"I'M GLAD," Papyrus said. "I JUST…WANT YOU TO KEEP THAT IN MIND."

"Why?"

"BECAUSE I JUST WORRY ABOUT YOU, THAT'S WHY. NOW LET'S GET GOING."

...

There were many new introductions to be made aboard the Van Eltia. Perhaps the most important was Velvet approaching Eizen and Rokurou, stunned to be reconciling with her long-lost friends after all this time.

She nearly chickened out. But Harley dragged her on over; "Ohhhh, Eizen! I met this gal at Port Zekson! I just get the feelin' you two'd be friends! An' you, Rokurou!"

Then Harley vanished, leaving Velvet standing awkwardly with the two men. "Uh…" Velvet choked.

Harley returned, dragging Magilou in her wake. "You too!" she insisted, pushing the blonde toward them.

"HEY!" Magilou protested. "The great and powerful Magilou wasn't made to be MANHANDLED!"

"I just think you four would have chemistry!" Harley spread out her arms. "That's all! You kids have fun now!" Then she made tracks.

"Was…she trying to set us up as a double date just now?" Rokurou wondered out loud.

"If she was, then she's got the wrong two pairs in mind," Magilou said snidely. "Now, you boys as a couple, and then me and Velvet, on the other hand…"

"It's not like that," Eizen said quickly with a glance toward Rokurou – in such a tone that indicated it was slowly but surely inching toward being like that.

"It's not like that here either," Velvet grunted, glowering at Magilou – who only shrugged. "Though I think what Harley had in mind was that I was interested in hearing about the travels of the pirate malak and the wandering swordsman. I should think a traveling witch entertainer would be a good complement for the group. I myself am a world explorer, along with my brother."

"That's fair," Rokurou supposed.

"You can tell as many stories as you want," Magilou dared. "But none will outstrip the fabulous tales of my magical exploits!"

"I'll take you up on that challenge," Eizen replied.

"I had a specific question first." Velvet had been rehearsing this moment. She extended her concealed blade from her sleeve; "Eizen. Harley says you have a wealth of knowledge about the things you've seen on your travels. And Rokurou, you wield shortswords of your own. This sword is a family heirloom, given to me by my brother-in-law. But I don't know anything else about it. Could either of you happen to tell me what kind of history this metalwork might have?"

The way Eizen and Rokurou's faces lit up was dramatic. Exactly as Velvet knew.

"Actually, that particular style can be traced to a few centuries ago," Eizen said proudly. "Though that is a more modern replica."

"I may not know where it came from," Rokurou added, "but I can sure tell you how you should be taking care of a blade like that, because there's no one-size-fits-all for swordsmanship."

As it became ever clearer that Velvet had mired the group in a double infodump, Magilou just groaned, "Velvet whyyyyyy?"

Across the deck, Locus and Emerald had found some common ground to chat about.

"She used to drive the point home by hitting me," Emerald sighed. "Her words would've been enough…but no, she had to be SURE I knew my place."

"Not something you should've taken sitting down," Locus grumbled. "Though then again, Felix might've known better than to attack me, given how much smaller he was, but he could find other ways to cut. I gave up a lot of my principles because he wore me down, and I thought that was how our partnership was supposed to work."

"Glad you got him off your back," Emerald said with a nod.

"And you yours," Locus replied softly. Something in Emerald's soft yet slightly mischievous smile, the sparkle of her crimson eyes, was making him feel comfortable, a little less hesitant to open up. Though his legal name was still going to be secret for the near future.

As he was thinking this, Emerald turned to look at where Magilou had hijacked the conversation and was forcing Velvet, Rokurou, and Eizen to listen to her ramble on about exploring some labyrinthine cavern. (It really sounded like she'd just gotten herself lost on a cave road and attempted to make it sound like an on-purpose adventure.) "You know what's funny, though?" Emerald said, almost wistfully. "Velvet…kinda looks like Cinder. It's not exact, but there's a lot of similarity there. And not just in her hair color or the fact that she wears so much red, but…it's in how she moves and talks, too. And doesn't smile often."

"Perhaps she could be a second chance for you," Locus suggested. And it might have saved him a bit of trouble if he'd connected the dots earlier as to exactly what Cinder meant to Emerald.

"Maybe," Emerald replied. "I'd…have to get up the nerve to go bug her about it first, and I'd actually have something to say, but it's not off the table."

"You had no problem bothering me," Locus reminded her gruffly.

"Yeah, well, you were standing over here being a loner," Emerald teased. "Couldn't just let that happen."

There was a high-pitched shriek as Jinnai raced past, Bud and Lou snapping at his heels. He seized the mast and began to scale it, hoping to get out of reach of the pair of predators. "IFURITA!" he yelled, clinging to the pole for dear life. "GET OVER HERE AND HELP YOUR OVERLORD!"

Ifurita didn't hear him, as she was too busy asking Electro, "Could I also become a more powerful elemental if I touched exposed wires?"
"I wouldn't recommend it," Electro told her.

"I…wow," Sylvie added. "I don't even know what to say to that."

"Hmm." Ifurita thought it over. "What about putting some kind of weapon such as a trident into an electrical fount to imbue it?"

"You just seriously asked if it was a good idea to stick a fork in an electrical outlet," Sylvie deadpanned.

"I also…would not recommend," Electro said in awe.

Ifurita beamed; "That is good to know!"

"IFURIIIIITAAAAAA!" Jinnai shrieked. Then, trying a new tactic: "HARLEY! HARLEY, CALL YOUR MAD DOGS OFF RIGHT NOW!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoooooa!" It was Yang who arrived on the scene first, using one hand to grip the scruff of each hyena's neck. "That's a friend, not a snack. Back off, guys."

Bud growled.

"HEY," Yang snapped. "None of that. Now you get over here and leave 'Lord God Jinnai' alone already."

She dragged them away as they keened, and not a moment too soon, for Jinnai had lost his grip and flailed his arms on his way tumbling down to the deck.

Yang brought the hyenas over to Harley. "So what's the deal with these guys?" she asked with a smile. "I mean, I have a dog back home, so I get the pet owner life, but this is a little more hardcore than a dog."

"I always liked hyenas," Harley replied. "My first real big revenge mission involved siccin' 'em on TV personalities who'd usurped my old show. Then after I got all involved in this multi-world stuff, the new Mr. J. helped me round up these fellas for a heist…and I got real attached."

Sensing that Harley was feeling affectionate, Lou snuggled up against her leg, and so she sat down and let him lick her face. "See? They love me!" she chirped. "An' then…well…"

"You had to run, and he took them with him," Yang filled in.

"But I had the idea to get 'em back down on my list!" Harley said excitedly. "On my Heathen List! I didn't know how I was gonna do it…but Cyclonis just cut through all the hard work for me! Oh, man, Malef's gotta be so mad she pulled that off right under her nose!"

As Bud came sniffing up to Yang, Yang extended her metal arm first, because that could take a bite or two. "Hey, buddy. Wait. Are you the buddy literally named Bud or – "

"Yep!" Harley beamed.

Yang ruffled Bud's mane. "Good hyena. You wouldn't eat your new stepmom, would you?"

"They only eat people I don't like," Harley replied. "You're safe!"

Bud sniffed at Yang's metal arm before making a soft, experimental gnaw on it to test if it was flesh or not.

"BAD BUD!" Harley scolded as Yang laughed it off. "LET GO!"

Laphicet had found it necessary to stop hovering so that the Van Eltia wouldn't sail out from under him. He stared off into the horizon, contemplating the world that was both so big to a small boy and so small to a god.

The sound of a trembling "Uhhh…hi" beside him caught his attention; he turned to regard Molly.

"Hello," Laphicet said tentatively.

"I'm Molly," Molly introduced. "What's your name?"

"Laphicet."

"Nice to meet you, Laphicet. This is really awkward, but I'm just really glad there's another girl my age on board now, so I was hoping maybe we could at least form a pseudo-friendship in which you pretend to tolerate me so I can talk to someone in my own demographic?"

"To be clear," Laphicet replied, "I'm a boy to – "

"OHMYGOSH OHMYGOSH OHMYGOSH I'M SO SORRY!" Molly shrieked. "I SHOULDN'T HAVE ASSUMED! I – "

Laphicet put up a hand to silence her. "Let me finish," he said, matter-of-fact. "What I was saying is that I'm not a boy today."

"…Today?"

"I am thinking of testing out whether it is more accurate to call myself a girl some days," Laphicet explained. "Today is not one of those days. But the more pressing concern is that I am only somewhat your age. Half of me is made up of an immortal god."

"Oh," Molly realized. "Well, I'd still like to maybe talk to you if that's okay?"

Laphicet nodded, and he found himself smiling. "I was sick for most of my childhood," he admitted, "and so the part of me that is a mortal child…never got to really live like one. Perhaps you can tell me how it was supposed to go. And I promise I will do more than just tolerate it."

The Once-ler sat on the deck, cross-legged, strumming an acoustic guitar. "And so I was thinking like…" He began to play fast, aggressive chords. "On this brilliant, brand-new day, run on through! Go ahead on your way!" He cut himself off with a nervous laugh. "Yeah, like that."

In his captive audience of three who were also sitting on the deck, Flint remarked, "Eh, seems a little too hard-rock to be a theme song for a pirate ship. Try to make it more piratey."

"I think it would work better as a swing number," Spinel suggested. "Right now, it just bores me."

"I think it might benefit from having a fully-choreographed dance number," Flamethrower added.

"Okay," the Once-ler replied. "Those are all…ideas. That I'm taking into account. And may OR MAY NOT use."

Mel and Abigail had found some new friends in Dr. Lopez and the Spot, who had decided to dial back his otherworldly pigmentation and show off his more human appearance as Jonathan Ohn. He was also showing off a great big smile; "That's a BRILLIANT idea! Why, no one would ever see their birthday coming again! You could convince them you'd all forgotten about it, which is the most important part!"

"I know!" Mel threw out his arms. "But of course, KREI had to decide to repackage my party technology as weapons because that'd make more MONEY."

"Isn't that always how it goes?" Ohn sighed.

Meanwhile, Abigail had dreamed up a new robot design to show Dr. Lopez. "It looks very speedy," Dr. Lopez commented. "But if I were making it, I'd want to play with portal technology to see if I could make its travel instantaneous."

"Hey, if you want portals, they're all yours," Abigail replied. "I kinda wore the whole portal thing out after the cryosleep."

Meanwhile, upon noticing he was in the presence of more than one mage, Bienfu figured it was time for him to attempt to two-time his position as Magilou's sidekick.

Cedric screamed, reeled, and stumbled when he was surprised by Bienfu popping up in front of him and yelling, "WELL, HI THERE!"

From where he'd fallen on the deck, Cedric pointed a shaking wand at Bienfu. "Now, you stay away! Don't come any closer!"

"Awww, I'm not here to hurt you, Mr. See-dric!" Bienfu replied. "I'm here to make an offer – "

"CEDRIC." The sorcerer got to his feet. "It's CEDRIC. Why must EVERYONE pronounce it that way when they first meet me? It's not an uncommon name by any means!"

"Sorry, Mr. Cedric," Bienfu corrected. "Anyway, I couldn't help but notice that you're a really powerful sorcerer who appreciates the color purple. You know, purple like me! It just so happens that as a greater malak, I can cast all sorts of useful spells and increase your productivity a hundredfold! Whaddaya say to makin' me your new familiar?"

Cedric fired him a sour look. "Aren't you already that to Magilou?"

"Wh – nooooooo!" Bienfu lied. "She means nothing to me! She's just my vessel, that's all! I am totally on the market!"

"Well, it won't do you any good at any rate," Cedric huffed. "I've already got a familiar, you see. Oh, Wooooor-myyyyy!"

Upon being called, Wormwood let out a sigh and fluttered over to the sorcerer's shoulder.

"Wormwood and I are the best of friends!" Cedric explained. "Why, if he could talk, he'd have no shortage of great things to say about me!"

To which Wormwood, in the language of animals, sighed, "Oh, would that he'd stop flattering himself."

Normin, however, can understand humans and animals alike; Bienfu was capable of conversing with many a bird for underhanded purposes. His jaw dropped; "Hey! I think your friend just insulted you!"

"Don't be absurd," Cedric huffed. "Wormwood is loyal to a fault!"

"I'll say," Wormwood huffed. "The fault being that I saddled myself with this imbecile."

"Heyyyyyy!" Bienfu whined. "Wormwood just called you an imbecile!"

"He just cawed," Cedric replied. "And I'd appreciate it if you stopped making up lies to try and win me over as making you my familiar!"

Wormwood chuckled; "Oh, do keep trying. He won't believe you, you know. He thinks the world of me."

"But you don't even waaaaaant hiiiiiim!" Bienfu whined. "Why can't I have him?"

"I'm not falling for that!" Cedric said haughtily. "He didn't say a single word you could understand, let alone anything critical of me!"

"Well, for one thing, he does treat me like a king," Wormwood stated. "I'm not about to pass up that luxury. And that was the primary reason up until now, at which point I'm inclined to stay his familiar for the purpose of spiting you."

"You're a meanie!" Bienfu accused.

"You only just now noticed?" Wormwood taunted.

"That will be QUITE enough of that!" Cedric swatted Bienfu aside. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to prove to Garfield that my magical fire is far more powerful than his little chemistry experiment!"

Bienfu grumbled to himself as he sat down on the planks and let Cedric walk away. Then he realized. "HEY! YOU'LL SET THE SHIP ON FIRE THAT WAY!"

"NO FIRE ALLOWED ON THE SHIP!" Benwick yelled from across the deck.

Car Crash, who'd been lighting matches just for fun and claiming it was "because he wanted to see something burn," immediately shrieked and pitched the matches overboard.

Then Aifread's voice rang out: "Ten miles off Yseult! All ashore who're going ashore!"

Instantly, Giovanni had rushed to clap Yang and Harley on the shoulders; "Time to round up some new recruits!"

Velvet strode over to them; "I'm guessing you'll want a guide. I do know this whole world like something out of my own mind, after all."

"Hey, somebody's gotta keep Giovanni company while Harley and I take our power nap with a side of frisky," Yang pointed out.

Yseult was a tropical town. Aifread made it clear they'd be docked here a bit longer than normal, mostly because the crew wanted a chance to relax here in the sunny south with its sandy beaches. The collective Heathens also wanted a chance to roam around the town whose streets were made of wooden docks suspended above the sand, featuring cabin-like homes and an open-air market.

Velvet and Giovanni set about picking through potential soup ingredients in that market while Harley and Yang made their way for the inn. The sound of the nearby ocean was calming, as was the sight of the bright blue sky extending over sand and sea and town.

"Weird to think not too long ago, we were in freezing snow land," Yang remarked.

"I like it here!" Harley said with a smile. "Nice'n'warm…makes a girl want an iced drink."

"Well, put that on our to-do list."

With every inn stay where it was only logical for them to share a bed, they'd been going a little further. Not all the way around the diamond yet, but bases had been touched. It was nice, getting to caress and be caressed a little before settling down to lose consciousness. And maybe a little frustrating, because it would get both of them wanting a little more, but it just wasn't the time yet. Needless to say both of them had lewdness in their minds when they checked into the breezy inn.

"A room with one bed, please!" Yang lay down the necessary gald on the check-in desk.

Then she felt a tap on her shoulder, and Harley's whisper: "Yang. Over there."

"Hm?" Yang turned to behold a truly bizarre sight.

The woman across the room wasn't human, first of all. It was easier to liken her to some sort of anthropomorphic animal, between her thick coat of golden fur and her floppy ears, but there wasn't really an indication as to what species she might be. The fur below her waist was styled to look like a skirt with a slight fringe; above the waist, she bore a sleeveless black zip-up vest, a pair of black gloves, a black beret, and a pair of shining black sunglasses.

But what was really bizarre, as far as Harley and Yang were concerned, wasn't her species or appearance. It was the fact that she was attempting to hide behind a very thin potted plant that was nowhere near big enough to conceal her, and from the looks of it, she was convinced it was working. From her vantage point, she scanned the lobby suspiciously.

"One of ours?" Yang muttered.

"I'm thinkin'," Harley affirmed. "Obviously, she don't want us to see her, though."

"So we play it cool."

They headed to one of the plush couches beside the plant, acting as though they didn't see the very obvious golden-furred woman acting sneaky, and sat down, each crossing one leg over the other in synchrony.

They didn't even need to be there for a half minute before they heard the "Pssssst!"

Yang and Harley glanced aside, to the plant, where the woman was beckoning them closer.

"Yeah?" Yang replied.

"You guys haven't seen any…" The woman paused dramatically. "CRIMINALS around, have you?"

Yang and Harley exchanged a surprised look.

"Uuuuuhhh…"

"Depends on who you ask…"

"Ohhhh," the mysterious woman realized. "I get how it is. We all know the real criminal is right here."

"Who's askin'?" Harley said with suspicion.

"The criminal," the mysterious woman replied.

"…What?" Yang tilted her head.

"It's meeeee," the woman whispered loudly. "I'm a criminal. I didn't think anyone else knew! But I guess now that I'm on the wrong side of the law, people can smell it on me. But I swear I'm only going against the law to stop the WORSE criminals!"

"What'd you do?" Harley asked.

"Well, see," the woman explained, "I was supposed to steal back a pre-stolen endangered Chickeraffe and return it to the zoo. But after the perp went under character development and decided to send it back to its home island, I kiiiiinda soooooorta let him get away with it so it could go back to its natural habitat. Then my mentor retired, and I took his place, and then, within two days, they found out I let the Chickeraffe get double-stolen instead of re-stolen aaaaaaand then they took my badge. Turns out that not following the orders given to you by the law is illegal. Who knew!"

"You some kinda cop?" Harley asked.

"Animal control officer," the woman replied. "…Ex-animal control officer."

"That doesn't make sense," Yang said. "If she was on the list, she shouldn't be this…uh…lawful."

"You got a name?" Harley asked.

"Gluntz," the woman replied. "O'Gluntzenburg for long. Gluntz for short."

"I kinda remember," Harley recalled. There had been only one thing known about her from Mozenrath's file, and it was vague, at that. "You're some kinda…bad guy?"
"BADGUYS, actually. An officer for the BADGUYS."

"And the bad guys are…animal control," Yang said in disbelief.

"Yup!" Gluntz said proudly. "Bureau of Animal Defense, Glurfsburg Upper Yipville Section!"

Upon realizing how the error had come about, Harley suppressed a chuckle; "Wow. I'm real glad we got to her before Mozzy could figure out just HOW bad he got the facts."

"Oooooh," Gluntz realized. "You heard it the other way again, didn't you? Yeeahhh, we really gotta get that name fixed." She winced. "Okay, there's no 'we' anymore. I'm…not one of the BADGUYS. Just one of the bad guys."

"You just said you were gonna stop the real bad guys now," Harley urged. "You, uh…you wouldn't happen to be a goody-two-shoes type, would ya?"

Gluntz shrugged; "I thought I was. Then I had to illegally let a Chickeraffe get back to its habitat, and not gonna lie, that was kinda cool and pretty much worth it. But no…I'm here on another animal-related mission. This time as VIGILANTE JUSTICE. You guys know about pengyons?"

"Peng…yons?" Yang repeated. "Is that like penguins?"

"I knew a guy called that once!" Harley said, quite chipper. "Real fun guy, even if he was obnoxious sometimes. Got a Green Lantern ring once and we all had a good time."

"A pengyon is a bird that's also a fish," Gluntz explained. "Kinda like how a Chickeraffe is a bird that's also a mammal."

"I…I'm lost," Harley admitted.

"I think it's like how Crescent Rose is a scythe that's also a gun," Yang mused.

"We'll just go with that," Harley sighed.

"Pengyons live all over the continent of Southgand," Gluntz explained. "Now, in the legal trade, they make great pets and also great dinners. And it's so hard because they're so cute but they also taste so great when roasted – AAAAANYWAY if that were as far as it went, that'd be all fine, but the more time I spend here in Yseult, the more I learn that there's actually an ILLEGAL pengyon trade that harvests them unethically and ships them in inhumane conditions for a quick buck! Basically pengyon poachers. Well, I'm not about to let a single solitary other pengyon get stuffed into a too-small cage with no enrichment so it can get shipped off to the slaughterhouse and forcibly removed from its young! Nuh-uh, no way! It's time for animal control officer Gluntz to go rogue! I've figured out when their next two shipping dates are gonna be, and if I catch them in my stakeouts, then I'm gonna bust those cages open and free the pengyons!"

"That's actually a good-guy thing I can get behind," Harley admitted. "I don't do heroism unless there's some fun an' violence in it, after all!"

"Harley." Yang nodded her head toward Gluntz. "Cop."

"Animal cop," Harley corrected.

Gluntz thought it over. "You're not an animal, so there's really nothing I can do about your life of crime…yeah, you're good. Unless it turns out you're one of the poachers in some kind of twist that alters the entire perception of how we view the events that are taking place right now and ultimately makes people feel betrayed for getting attached to a certain status quo."

"So, just a hypothetical," Harley posed. "Since your old job fell through an' all. Since you're doin' crime now but for good reasons…how would you like hangin' out with a whole syndicate that did crime, but only the kind that don't actually hurt the good guys? Now, the bad guys – an' I mean the bad guys, not the BADGUYS – they get hurt real bad. That ain't a question. Like your poachers."

"Ooooh, the poachers!" Gluntz clenched her fists. "They make me so mad! I wish – oh, I wish – I can't even say what I wish without ruining my reputation, but you can go ahead and fill in the blanks!"

"So back to the crime thing," Yang told her. "You hang out with some jewel thieves, shoplifters, museum robbers, occasional town conquerors, and people who beat the shit out of worse people. And in return, you get a cut of the profits…and help saving all the animals you can find who need it, since we can cut through the legal red tape."

"In other words, would you ever wanna become a bad guy?" Harley asked. "…Lowercase."

"Hmmm." Gluntz thought it over. "See, I was always really, really proud of the fact that I was a good person. But to be honest…I've kinda been in this existentialist phase ever since I lost my job. I did the right thing, and it just turned out bad for me and almost really bad for the Chickeraffe. Part of me just wants to test out doing some REALLY illegal things for a bit and see if that makes me feel validated or just worse."

"So tag along with us," Yang told her. "You'll need to in order to get back home anyway. Take the trip back to see how you feel."

"Home?" Gluntz repeated. "Oh, you mean you guys figured out how to wake up from the dream!"

"You…know this is a dream?" Yang flinched.

"Duhhhhh," Gluntz told her. "Kinda obvious, isn't it? Also, I'm still not sure what exactly that weird teenager did to me, but I get the feeling it wasn't good."

"Well, all considered, I guess it coulda been worse." Harley shrugged. "We're trapped in here…but all together, right?"
"Yeah!" Gluntz agreed. "I mean, maybe we're not exactly friends yet, but I really hope we turn out to be friends."

"How much time do we have before the shipment rolls out?" Yang asked.

"They said they'd move at sundown," Gluntz explained. "In Yseult tonight, and tomorrow in a place called Haria. So I guess we've got some time to kill."

"Yang and I gotta…uh…rest up before we stay up the night," Harley said. "How about ya come knock on our door once it gets near time, an' then we can go round up a couple more of our pals?"

"Sounds good to me!" Gluntz gave a chipper smile. "I can use this time to collect more intel! I'll rendez-vous with you at sundown!"

And with that, she took the long way around the room, darting from fixture to fixture and knocking over a stack of barrels in the process before zipping out the door and slamming it very, very loudly.

"…It's like a Banzai Blaster got made into a cop," Harley remarked.

"Eeeeeeyup," Yang agreed.

...

The glass coffin that had once held Kairi comatose in the Great Hall of the castle of Radiant Garden, back when it was Hollow Bastion, now held another girl in stasis down in the laboratory. The computer terminal flashed with fleeting data as a cable fed that data into the coffin, where the girl was taking shape. Her body and her face had been easy for Jumba to design, once he'd gotten the schematics out of Sora's memories. Apparently, she had a habit of switching faces, but Jumba had built the one most isolated in those memories as "hers" – a soft, young, feminine face, a little reminiscent of Kairi's and framed with short dark hair. She was slender, athletic, short – clothed in simple white linen to cover what needed to be covered while her limbs were exposed for any last-minute tweaks needed. The data that Naminé had extracted from Sora was flowing into her via the coffin and the cable, imbuing her with her own memories – ones that belonged only to her.

A second cable protruded from the terminal into a nearby chamber in which a memory pod had been constructed for Sora. An artichoke-shaped affair. Colored light crackled down this cable into the terminal.

"HA-HAAAAAA!" Jumba cackled madly. "Evil genius plan is taking shape! Experiment i is in final stages! Now is only to be needing her memories placed in body!"

"Huh." Jim Hawkins leaned over the capsule, poking the glass with a finger.

"Please not to be tapping on glass," Jumba said strictly.

"So is she technically alive or no?" Jim asked.

"In technicality, yes," Jumba answered. "Were Experiment i to be brought out of stasis, would have ability to move, think, and speak like Earth human. But! Is veeeeeery important to note that Experiment i would NOT yet have correct memories if so! Must be waiting for process to complete!"

Naminé stood near the computer, nodding as she watched the terminal fill up. "I've managed to isolate all of Xion out of Sora's heart," she explained. "It has to encode, then be transmitted. That will take time. But all we really have to do is wait now that we have the setup. By this time tomorrow…she'll be back."

"And then Sora can wake up," Riku sighed.

"We all know you're impatient for that part," Jim teased, knocking Riku with an elbow.

"Two times now he's fallen asleep so hard, he needed me to wake him back up," Riku teased back.

"But yes, bioengineering stage is more or less complete," Jumba stated. "That is why is time for a little break."

"OH, JUM-BAAAAA!" Pleakley came rushing in right on cue, with Doppler and Amelia in tow, clutching their children. "We're gonna be late for our reservation!" He smoothed out the new wig he'd chosen today – pink, since that was a hair color that seemed to be common on this world.

"You say as if missing out on food from this planet is big loss," Jumba huffed.

"Don't be like that," Amelia said sharply. "I've had military rations far, far worse than any of the fare here."

"Well, I'm actually looking forward to this," Doppler said. "Trying out the cuisine of this strange new world!"

"I wonder how Radiant Garden pizza stacks up to Earth pizza?" Pleakley mused.

"We could conduct a study," Doppler suggested. "Even a survey!"

"I wonder what kind of ingredients they put on pizza here that you'd never see on Earth!" Pleakley sighed.

"It's simply, truly – "

"It's just so – "

"FASCINATING!" Doppler and Pleakley chorused, bright-eyed.

Amelia fired Jumba a smirk. "And you see why we love them."

"Yes, I do," Jumba agreed.

"Oh, Jim!" Doppler piped up. "Remember our agreement?"

"Yeah, yeah," Jim replied. "I'll watch the kids. You can expect at least three out of four of them returned in one piece."

"That's not FUNNY, Jim," Doppler growled as he handed over two of the babies to Jim. The children burbled softly.

"Here!" Riku stepped forward to take the other two from Amelia. "I'll help out, so long as we can still keep an eye on Sora. And Xion."

"C'mon, Riku, you don't believe I can handle four kids on my own?" Jim teased. "Look at them; they're angels."

All four of the children were, indeed, asleep in the arms of Jim and Riku.

"Then we'd best go before, er, they prove you wrong on that front," Doppler muttered.

"A wise course of action." Amelia nodded. "Remember to feed them strictly on time."

"I got it!" Jim groaned. "Just go on your stupid double date already!"

"I'll be able to help, too." Naminé finally tore her eyes away from the computer. "Between the three of us, we should be able to manage."

"Now let's go!" Pleakley urged. "I wanna see if I can order pineapple on pizza on THIS planet!"

"For final time," Jumba sighed, "pineapple is NOT pizza topping!"

Jumba, Pleakley, Amelia, and Doppler left the room; three teenagers and four babies remained.

As they were getting settled, the sound of rapidly approaching footsteps caught their ears. Aerrow ground to a halt in the lab; "Naminé! I came to pick you up for our lunch meeting with Maki and the others."

"Oh!" Naminé put a hand to her mouth. "Is it that time already? I've been so focused on the memory transfer that I forgot." Her stomach growled; she doubled slightly. "I am pretty hungry." She looked to Riku and Jim. "Will you two be all right watching the kids on your own? I promised I'd meet Shuichi and the others at Nine Wood Hill for lunch – and Sora and Xion are doing fine; they just need to stay in their pods while the transfer completes, and that shouldn't need me."

"Go get some food," Jim told her.

"I'm a Keyblade Master, remember?" Riku said with a wink. "Pretty sure I've done things that are way tougher than watching over four kids and two unconscious people."

"I'll be back soon!" Naminé promised as she jogged out alongside Aerrow.

That was when the infant Anne stirred, let out a wail, and woke up the other three, inspiring them all to join into the four-part harmony of crying.

"Whoa!" Jim flinched. "Maybe we need to get you guys some food – or to lay down for a nap – uhhh, I'm not sure?"

As it turned out, watching over four babies and two unconscious people was going to be harder than it sounded on paper.

But it was about to get more difficult than it should have been, thanks to outside interference.

...

"Hmm, I seem to be lost…maybe you should come and find us, just in case."

That was the sentence that rang in Harley's ears as the knock on her inn room door awoke her and Yang, who were at that moment sufficiently tangled around each other.

"Mmh…" Yang rose, stretching and rubbing at her eyes. "Got a lead?"

"Just one this time," Harley related. "In some kinda big blue palace. Velvet oughta know. Speakin' of – "

The knocking at the door was coming in odd rhythms. Harley slid out of bed to cross the room and put her hand on the handle.

When she began to jiggle it, Gluntz's voice sounded from the other side: "Whoa now! Just because you recognized the secret knock doesn't mean I can open the door without you giving me the password!"

"We never set one," Harley sighed.

"Also, isn't that usually for letting people INTO a room instead of OUT?" Yang pointed out.

The door creaked open from Gluntz's side. "Ooh, you know how it WORKS in this business," Gluntz said, unnecessarily impressed.

They needed only a few minutes to locate Giovanni and Velvet in the circular plaza at the city center, and far less time than that to convince the two of them to join in on a stakeout for poachers. The quintet went below the docks that held up the city, meandering between support poles and leaving footprints in the sand.

"So what was your name, again?" Giovanni asked.

"Name's Gluntz!" Gluntz replied.

"EWWWW, NO." Giovanni made a gagging sound. "That's the worst name I've ever heard! No offense."

"None taken," Gluntz said cheerily. "It's short for O'Gluntzenburg, if that's better."

"THAT – " Giovanni sputtered. "That is SO MUCH WORSE – okay, that's it. You get a villain name here and now. Hear me out. We call you 'Bad Guy,' except to make the allusion work, it's in all caps and one word. 'BADGUY.' And every time I use it, you'll just have to imagine that I'm saying it in all caps."

"I can work with that!" Gluntz chirped. "This is sooooo awesome! I'm the BADGUY now! I'm excited! Are you guys excited? EEEEEEE WE'RE GONNA BEAT UP SOME POACHERS!"

"You're certainly energetic," Velvet sniffed.

"It's an O'Gluntzenberg family trait," Gluntz bragged. "Anyway!" She clapped her hands together hard. "HERE'S where we're gonna set up the sting!"

It seemed to be just another area under the docks, with nowhere obvious to hide. "Gluntzy," Harley sighed, "I wasn't gonna be the one to break it to ya, but your hidin' places – "

"No, no, up there!" Gluntz pointed to the rafters that connected the support pillars to the underside of the raised docks. "We can sit in the rafters and wait for the lowercase bad guys to walk under us!"

"That's actually not a bad plan," Velvet admitted.

"And THEN," Gluntz continued, "we can do a pool-table drop on them!"

"A…pool-table drop?" Yang asked.

"You know!" Gluntz urged. "Like the joke?"

This fell on deaf ears.

"You…don't know the joke?" Gluntz realized. "Ohmygosh, I get to tell you guys the joke. So what's green, has four legs, and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A POOL TABLE!" She cracked up at her own joke.

And Harley let out a screaming guffaw, because that was her brand of humor. "I get it now! Pool table drop! Like we're the pool table fallin' outta the tree!"

"Uuuugggghhhhh…" Giovanni rolled his eyes. "Well, at least the maneuver checks out. Even if that was a total dad joke."

"Let's just get into position," Velvet suggested, extending her hand and morphing it into the consuming red claw. She then dug the claw-tips into the wood of the nearest pole, using the mutated hand to help scale it.

Giovanni built up a great deal of steam, declaring, "And here's how an EXPERT bad guy does it!" He blasted off into the air on his steam jets. So hard and fast that he clocked his head on the underside of the dock and fell right back down to the sand.

"And here's how an ACTUAL expert does it!" Yang pointed Ember Celica downward, blasting off to propel herself up; she caught a rafter and swung to a place where she could sit, not too far from where Velvet was settling in. "Heheh. Undefeated The Floor is Lava champion at work!"

"Oh yeah?" Giovanni performed the blast again, this time correctly so that he sat in his own pocket of the rafters.

"Uh, guys?" Gluntz asked. "How are Harley and I supposed to get up there?"

"You were the one who wanted to use the stakeout spot," Velvet grunted. "And you didn't have a plan for how to actually use it?"

"C'mooooon, guys!" Harley whined. "I'll pout! An' I'll hold my breath! An' if ya still don't help me up, I might hafta find some TNT and make a REAL scene!"

"Eh." Yang swung around, holding onto the rafter with her knees as she stretched upside-down to grasp Harley's hand. "I don't really want any property damage on my head." She winked, then swung Harley up to the rafters.

Velvet's claw was able to reach down and scoop up Gluntz, placing her in another rafter, and from there, the waiting game began.

"Sooooo," Gluntz said by way of making conversation, "morally speaking, I'm still not sure I wanna make the jump all the way to evil yet. Since you're all more experienced in evil, anyone wanna try to sell me on it?"

"Hey, I'm not evil," Yang stated. "I'm a good person with a disregard for the law and a love of punching people shitless."

"I'm not sure labels work on all of us," Velvet grunted.

"Well, the 'evil' label sure works on me," Giovanni stated proudly, "and you sure came to the right person to tell you the top ten reasons YOU should become evil too!"

Harley clapped; "Let's hear it!"

"So number one is the aesthetic, obviously," Giovanni said.

Gluntz nodded. "Uh-huh. I do like the villain aesthetic."

"Number two is the fact that you get to do whatever you want!" Giovanni encouraged. "Like break things that don't belong to you because you like the noise! Number three is your unique position to STICK IT TO THE MAAAAAN. Number four: when you're evil, you get partners in crime! The closest partners you can ever have in your life! Number five: there's a sliiiiight chance you'll get a cool archnemesis with romantically-charged tension in all your interactions. Number six: did I mention the aesthetic? Number seven: no more having to be polite to people when they're rude to you! You're evil now, so you can just punch them! Number eight: it beats a real job. Number nine: occasionally there are cool swords. And number ten: while I've never actually broken out into a villain song, it's definitely an option once you're evil."

Gluntz nodded, looking quite giddy; "That sounds AWES – "

"QUIET!" Velvet hissed. "I think that's our target."

Several men in hooded cloaks were moving briskly beneath the dark docks, carrying quite large crates. Some of those crates were shuddering and squawking.

"Pengyons!" Gluntz gasped.

"Keep those birds quiet!" one of the men scolded. "They'll blow our cover!"

The five vigilantes exchanged looks. Gluntz made a series of gestures that was obviously meant to communicate something. As no one understood, Giovanni just shrugged.

So Gluntz did something more universally recognized. She put up three fingers. Then down to two. Then one.

Then leapt down from the rafters, shrieking, "POOL TABLE!"

As she made a three-point landing before the poachers, they recoiled, startled. Several pengyon cages were dropped.

"The hell are you?" one of the men asked.

"I'm your worst nightmare," Gluntz replied. "Gluntz gone ROGUE."

"EEEEEEYAH!" Harley landed next to her, followed by Yang and Velvet. "So ya thought you could steal some innocent animals an' sell 'em half-price after keepin' 'em cooped up, huh? Well, we'll show ya what happens to poachers around these parts!"

Yang pounded one fist into the other palm; "This is gonna be fun."

"Shit!" one of the men hissed. "We're busted!"

The rest of the pengyon cages were thrown aside roughly; the birds inside rustled in protest at the jolt. Then the men drew a series of daggers.

"Been there, done that, got the T-shirt," Yang scoffed. "But I bet you want us to put our money where our mouth is!"

"We're not gonna let a bunch of little girls stop us from making this sale!" a poacher growled.

"That's it!" Gluntz, who hadn't been wearing her sunglasses at the time, put them on for the sole purpose of ripping them off dramatically and casting them into the sand. "You're goin' DOWN! AaaaaaAAAAAAA – "

She and Harley surged into the crowd, a flurry of fists. Yang and Velvet skidded ahead, planting themselves in the thick of the enemy horde.

Velvet and Yang stood back-to-back, easily dispatching any man who dared approach with a single blow – and yet they kept trying.

"I've noticed you're primarily an arm-based martial artist," Velvet remarked.

"And I can see that when you're not using the big monster hand, you're more of a legs person," Yang replied. "So why the sword on your arm?"

"You show me how to equip a blade on my leg in a way that's actually maneuverable and I'll equip it as a secondary."

Harley suplexed a poacher and Gluntz kicked him in the head to knock him out. Then Gluntz turned, grabbed another by the arm, and swung him directly into the oncoming strike of the bat Harley had dreamed up all-new for this fight in the heat of the moment.

Watching all the chaos, one of those who'd been knocked aside by Yang came to his senses, taking a more roundabout approach. He stuck to the fringe, sneaking around and looking for an opening. His dagger went behind his back. There! Harley's back was turned, and if he moved quickly, he could bury the knife in her back!

He lunged.

And recoiled immediately when a boiling-hot orb of liquid was dropped upon him from above. With the hot soup leaking into his eyes, he stumbled around, screaming bloody murder.

Night had fallen almost completely. That meant the rafters were cast in perfect shadow. Which in turn meant that no one actually saw the source of the voice that cawed out, "AND NOW: DEMON RAIN OF INFERNAL HELLFIRE!" before the orbs of searing tomato soup came pouring down.

"IT'S A DAEMON!" someone yelled.

"IT'S A MALAK!" someone else yelled.

"WHATEVER IT IS, IT'S TOO STRONG FOR US!" a third cried.

So they turned tail and ran – leaving the cages behind.

"Hang on, fellas!" Harley rushed toward the nearest cage, manifesting a pair of bolt cutters that she used to snap open the door and free the occupant. Out waddled what looked like a penguin, save for the blue scales and dorsal fin on its back, the webbing of its flippers, and the sunset-colored ruff of feathers down its front.

"Now, THAT'S somethin' a Gotham rogue should make a villain persona around," Harley remarked. "Or anyone else…YO, GLUNTZ! PENGYON AESTHETIC'S UP FOR GRABS!"

"Before you do it," Giovanni cautioned, "consider you're already kinda rocking the corrupt-cop look. With that beret? Not surprised people kept mistaking you for evil."

"I gotta think it over!" Gluntz replied. "First, pengyons!"

Giovanni dropped down from the rafters in order to help liberate the critters, who waddled down the shore to the water line. Harley, Yang, Velvet, Giovanni, and Gluntz followed them, splashing their ankles into the waves that lapped the shore. Once they were out from beneath the docks, they could more clearly see that there was still one strip of twilight orange still visible beneath the cloak of night.

Inspired by the night air, the gorgeous view, and the recent victory, Gluntz leapt up into the air and shrieked, "FREE THE PENGYONS!"

Harley, Yang, and Giovanni immediately took her up on it, leaping about and screaming "FREE THE PENGYONS! FREE THE PENGYONS!" as the pengyons themselves dove into the water.

Then Harley gave a pleading look to Velvet, who insisted, "I'm not chanting."

She was then called upon to give direction to Haria, a smaller village on the continent. The group assembled outside the gates of Yseult, looking down a long stretch of beach beneath the night sky, one that led to the little town that would be the poachers' next rendez-vous point.

Thrusting one index finger to the sky, Giovanni yelled "LET'S GO, LESBIANS!" before taking off charging, and with a few giggles and one eye-roll, Harley, Yang, Gluntz, and Velvet sprinted after him.

...

As it turned out, the Doppler children were not easy to keep calm at all.

Anne refused to be put down, even for a minute, without squalling loudly, so Jim had to have her on one hip as he moved around to police the other three. That wasn't very convenient when Abigail soiled herself and needed a fresh diaper, so Jim was trying to decide if he could sacrifice his hearing and sanity in exchange for the use of two hands.

Riku couldn't help, of course, because Marie was an escape artist, and every time he'd located her and stopped her from doing something horrendous like disconnecting Xion's memory pod, she would then end up near the computer, ready to smack keys at random.

Isaac was the only one they didn't need to watch like a hawk, because the boy was content to just page through a collection of assembled picture books and ooh at the art without making too much noise or trying to go anywhere. Therefore, they didn't watch him at all, since the other three were holding their attention, and Jim and Riku were sure they could trust Isaac.

They could. Isaac had no intention of moving anywhere of his own volition.

What they hadn't counted on was an invisible intruder entering the laboratory-turned-playroom. Undetected, the intruder scanned the room, looking from Xion's capsule to each of the two boys – with a double-take at Riku.

After a short strategizing period, the intruder picked up Isaac, and, outside the notice of Jim or Riku, ferreted him out of the room completely.

"Ehhhh?" Isaac cooed.

"Shhh!" his captor hissed. "You'll blow my cover!"

He scurried up several floors, ending up in the art room, which was quite a distance away from the laboratory. Then he set Isaac on the floor and let down his guise for a moment to breathe. Isaac clapped and pointed at the man who'd taken him on this ride.

"Pointing is rude," Deymos scoffed. "Who are your parents, anyway? Can't be those two. They were acting WAY too much like idiots to have been raising kids. Aaaaanyway, you're gonna do me a solid and be a distraction, okay?"

Isaac tilted his head in confusion.

"Look," Deymos told him. "First of all, I wasn't expecting them to have portal-proofed the place, but I managed to get in anyway because I'm that good. Nobody in this entire castle has noticed there's a person here who doesn't belong, and the last obstacle is those two, because I can't do what I need to do unless those two get out of my way! Sooooo, since they're babysitting, I moved you so they'll have no choice but to follow you and NOT see what I'm doing! …Why am I talking to a baby?"

Isaac shrugged and made a coo that sounded strangely like "Iunno."

"Eh." Deymos waved it off. "Chalk it up to lack of decent human interaction. Water Tribe's a bunch of stiffs. Like I said, you're my distraction. So what you gotta to do to help me out is…uhh…"

He scanned the room. Then spotted something that could keep the child entertained. "Aha!" He lowered a canvas off an easel onto the floor, then spread out a bunch of tubes of paint, throwing several brushes haphazardly on top of the whole pile. "There. Art!"

Isaac picked up a brush quizzically.

"Now you have fun until the morons find you," Deymos told him. "But try not to eat the paint. The point is to stress them out, not to die on them."

Isaac was squirting blue paint onto the canvas in an enormous pile.

"On second thought," Deymos realized, "do what you want. I don't actually need you or them after this, so if you do die, that's not my problem. Anyway, I'm out."

He cast another watery shield of invisibility around himself, then set about hustling back down to the lab. On the way, he passed Riku and Jim, who bolted past him sweating and panicking as they balanced the three girls:

"He can't have gotten far – "

"I can't believe we LOST one of the BABIES – "

"It's gonna be okay; we'll FIND him – "

That left Xion's capsule unsupervised. Sora's, too, but Xion was what Deymos was here for. Once safely in the lab, Deymos locked the doors behind him, then gave a glance to Xion's current situation. The coffin, the cable.

"Dunno what this is." He approached the cable first. "But it can't be that important. After all, worst it could do is kill you, and if anybody could reanimate your corpse, it's the guy you're a present for."

He forcibly unplugged the cable, which lost its prismatic shimmer. Xion was no longer being fed any more memories of her own life, as held safely by Sora. What she had gotten from him went into lockdown in her subconscious due to the shock of the sudden disconnect.

Deymos pried her capsule open, then pulled from his clothing a bundle of white fabric that he fluffed into a body bag. "Upsy-daisy, Xion!"

He soon had her unmoving body stuffed into the bag and the bag hoisted over his shoulder. A veneer of water went over the both of them to make them invisible to the eye, and off Deymos went, staggering only slightly under the weight of the replica.

So it turned out there was something being rebuilt in the basement of Radiant Garden, and presuming Vexen was telling the truth, it was really his property. Now, Vexen could've been lying, but it was such a ridiculous thing to lie about that Deymos finally accepted it needed to be true. Who could've concocted such a ridiculous story if it were only fiction?

Once Vexen had Xion back in his possession, he'd have no choice but to welcome Deymos as well, with open arms, and from there, it would be smooth sailing.

...

The tranquil village of Haria was tucked away on a cove bordered from three directions by craggy cliffs and from one by the ocean's rolling tide. Due to this natural protection, Haria was often shielded from tropical storms and the like. However, that didn't mean it was invincible. It was a troll daemon that had arrived, a glowing gemstone affixed to its collar, to break several of the houses and crush the market stalls.

There was a woman from the Abbey who had been tailing it. She arrived shortly after it did, and through much tribulation, slayed it with her spear. She shed some tears over the stone – apparently it had been a source of grief for her in the past. But that was a chapter she determined closed. What mattered now was patching up Haria.

The villagers hadn't asked for her help, but since she asked what she could do and politely took instruction rather than ordering around a troop of voluntourists, the Harians welcomed her assistance. After a couple of days of grueling work, everything the troll had wrecked was once more rebuilt.

To celebrate, a feast was set up at sundown, when the sky was tinted orange radiating from the west. Several wooden tables were brought outside and bound into one for all to sit at, and all the finest foods of Southgand, including the fruits that the rest of the world thought exotic, were laid upon it. In addition to the dying sunlight, illumination came from cozy torches propped in the sand.

It was upon this sight that Harley, Yang, Giovanni, Velvet, and Gluntz came. "See?" Gluntz offered. "If this were real life, no WAY would that journey have taken us a day."

"Looks like they're having fun," Yang said. Then her stomach growled, and she flinched; "Also having a lot more to eat than we had over the past dream-day."

"You know what?" Giovanni suggested. "I think we should crash this party…ILLEGALLY."

"Wh…how would it be illegal?" Velvet asked.

"Because we weren't invited and we're not paying for the food," Giovanni told her.

"That's not illegal," Velvet scoffed. "It's just rude. Which I'm not opposed to, but you can't go around calling things crimes that aren't."

"Can we discuss it over dinner?" Harley asked. "I'm starvin'! Whaddaya say we stroll in like we own the place and work our way into the crowd?"

They did exactly that, taking five empty seats at the far end of the table without anyone noticing they didn't belong. From there, it was a matter of asking down the chain to be passed the various dishes that made up the buffet.

Velvet, suddenly, gasped.

"What's wrong?" Harley asked.

Velvet's eyes were wide, shining. "It's…" Her gaze was fixed on the woman from the Abbey, the one who'd slain the troll. "It's Eleanor…"

She was a slim woman, her short hair bound into red-orange pigtails atop her head. Her clothing looked to be from the Abbey far more than it did a native Southgand garment, with its ruffled white skirt and blue jacket.

"You should go say hi!" Harley encouraged. "Worked with Magilou, right?"

"I…it's not the right time." Velvet cringed. "After all, we did show up uninvited, and knowing Eleanor, she'll dismiss us on those grounds alone."

"Oh, so I'm s'posed ta sit here an' let you NOT go get your other girlfriend?" Harley scoffed. "No way, José!"

Giovanni asked a question, through a mouthful of food, that was either "Can we finish eating first?" or "Am we fishing worst?".

"Whatever he just said, I agree with him," Gluntz declared. A fruit bowl was set beside her, and she cried, "Oh, HEY! This looks DELICIOUS! I love bananas!" She reached in, taking a yellow fruit and munching on its softness. "Mmmm!"

"You know, that's not just a banana," the person next to her said, somehow registering she was from out of town without realizing she was a party-crasher. "It's a bananut! The one you're eating is fresh, but when you dry them out, they get hard and crunchy, and they last even longer!"

"You got any of the crunchy kind?" Gluntz asked.

"Right here!" the person said, passing her what it would look like if you petrified a banana, but instead of turning it to stone, you turned it to solid peanut.

After finishing the fresh bananut, Gluntz bit into the dried bananut. It was sufficiently crunchy. "Oh my GOSH that is good!" She peered back into the bowl, spotting what looked like citrus wedges. She might've thought them orange slices, but they were a bit too big, and also slightly luminous in the approaching night. "Ooooh, what're theeese?"

As she stuffed one in her mouth, her guide explained, "That's a porange. It's known abroad as the 'candle fruit' for the way it glows."

"Ooh, sweet but sour!" Gluntz cried as she swallowed the porange slice. "I like it! Oh, and what's THIS?" She reached in for a roughly polygonal cut of orange fruit, putting in her mouth before the answer could come.

Her guide smiled. "Oh, that's cantaloupe!"

Gluntz immediately coughed the half-chewed cantaloupe mush back onto the table with a loud "PFEGH!", followed by some supplemental hacking. The disturbance was loud enough that everyone's eyes turned to her.

"Did you need to draw attention like that?" Velvet hissed.

"I can't help it!" Gluntz protested with a shrug. "I have a special gag reflex for the garbage fruit!"

Now some of the cannier observers began to catch on:

"Who are they?"

"They don't look like they're from Southgand…"

"HEY! WHO INVITED YOU?"

The woman who Velvet had identified as Eleanor stood up sharply, pushing her chair back as she did so. "I'll handle these intruders," she said coldly.

"Uh-oh," Harley whispered. "We're in trouble with your girlfriend!"

"What did I tell you?" Velvet hissed back.

Eleanor pointed decisively; "You! Intruders! Step away from the table for interrogation!"

"What if I wanna resist, huh?" Giovanni asked.

Eleanor responded by picking up her spear and giving it a twirl before landing it in the sand, point-down.

"THAT'S A REAL-ASS GODDAMN SPEAR!" Giovanni cried. "Okay, OKAY, I'll talk!"

The wayward five diners trudged down the beach, out of earshot, where Eleanor caught up with them and gave them a poisonous scowl. "I already feel like I'm taking enough advantage of the hospitality of Haria, even though they insist it's okay to be here!" she snapped. "And then you five just come waltzing in and sit yourself down and start eating their food! Who do you think you are? Why would you DO that? This is a special occasion to Haria, and you're not supposed to just be leeching off the village!"

"Counterpoint," Yang brought up. "We were very, very hungry."

"Then ask!" Eleanor barked. "Or pay your way!"

"Question," Giovanni posed. "How rich or poor is this city?"

"Haria is self-sufficient," Eleanor explained, "but sometimes struggles, especially with the urban pressures of the continents to the north."

"Okay, yeah, I can see now how that was kinda shitty of us to do," Giovanni realized.

"But you gotta understand!" Gluntz urged. "We're on a super important secret mission!"

"Yeah!" Harley affirmed with a nod.

"Secret mission?" The doubt in Eleanor's voice was palpable. "What kind of SECRET MISSION involved you taking our food?"

"That part was kinda an ad-lib," Harley admitted.

"But the thing about the secret mission is that it's kinda…secret," Gluntz said as she rocked on her heels.

"No," Velvet said calmly. "It's fine. We can tell her." She looked Eleanor straight in the eye.

Eleanor recoiled; "Do I…do we know each other from somewhere?"

Velvet shook her head. "No. I can just tell what kind of type you are. We're ruffians; I won't lie about that. But we're also here because of a ring of pengyon poachers who have been harvesting the birds unethically. We don't care about the law, but we do care about pengyon abuse."

Eleanor gasped in horror. "Poachers? Of the pengyons?"

"We set up a sting in Yseult and brought down half the operation," Velvet explained. "The other half takes place tonight, here in Haria. We were hoping to execute a second sting."

"And FREE THE PENGYONS!" Harley cried, throwing up a fist in the air.

"FREE THE PENGYONS!" Yang, Giovanni, and Gluntz chorused, copying her movement.

"That does sound important," Eleanor admitted. "Maybe I – hey, wait a minute! How do I know you're even telling the truth?"

"Because the lowercase bad guys are getting away right now." Giovanni pointed to the table behind Eleanor.

"Lowercase…bad guys…?" Eleanor was perplexed.

"Turn around!" Velvet grunted.

Eleanor spun to see several villagers breaking away from the table and sneaking into the shadows beneath the docks. "I'll follow them," she decided, "and you can even come along, but if this turns out to be a big lie, then you're all in enormous trouble!"

Beneath the docks, the Harian poachers met up with a second contingent, who'd slipped in from outside the town border. They brought with them the wagon filled with shaking cages, far too small for the pengyons inside.

"They busted us in Yseult," the leader of the second group, who had his face obscured by a hooded cloak, related. "With any luck, they never figured out about this place."

"Haria is small enough to get missed by city folk," the Harian lead poacher replied. "This shipment will be safe at least."

A high-pitched gasp caught their attention. They turned to see Eleanor Hume pointing at them, horror splashed across her face, as Velvet, Harley, Yang, Giovanni, and Gluntz backed her up.

"You…you ARE poaching pengyons!" she cried. "Do you have any idea what you're doing?"

The hooded man growled, "Word on the street is you enjoy a nice cut of pengyon. What's wrong with what we're doing?"

"Overhunting the pengyons can risk destroying the entire ecosystem!" Eleanor reminded them. "Not to mention the poor conditions for the birds! I can guarantee to you that every pengyon fillet I've ever eaten has been ethically raised!"

The hooded man chuckled. "Wanna put your money where your mouth is on that, girlie?"

Eleanor raised her spear. "Release the pengyons you have in that wagon and turn yourself in to the authorities," she demanded.

"Or what?" the Harian lead poacher mocked.

The spear swung. "Or I'll have to mean BUSINESS!"

"Do we have to wait for them to say no?" Giovanni asked. "They're totally not gonna say no anyway, and that was SUCH a badass line to charge on – "

"You know what?" Eleanor realized. "You're right! Let's end this here and now!"

The second battle for the pengyons began. Eleanor's spear twirled, its shaft and butt knocking over anyone in reach. Giovanni and Yang executed a Double Critical that blew away half the crowd; Harley danced across the sand, pulling in partners only to spin them around to knock each other over. Velvet's claw pitched three men across the beach at once. Gluntz managed to trip one man, and as he hit the sand, she cheered, "OH YEAH! WE BAD!"

Soon there was only the hooded man left; he withdrew a short axe with a squarish blade, holding it in both hands as he rushed Eleanor full-tilt.

But Eleanor was ready for him, extending her spear out with a cry of "SPIRAL…HAIL!"

A rush of arte energy blew him back; he collided with the rock of a nearby crag and fell unconscious.

"You know what to do now!" Harley pointed to the wagon.

Bats and Ember Celica and bolt cutters went to work, and soon there was another flock of pengyons waddling their way down to the water. Once again, Harley, Yang, Giovanni, and Gluntz frolicked in the shallows, screaming, "FREE THE PENGYONS! FREE THE PENGYONS!"

Giovanni gave a crooked smile to Velvet, who remained stoic as ice. He nudged her with an elbow twice; "Eh? Ehhhhh?"

Velvet let out a sigh, then, in the most flat delivery possible, muttered, "Free the pengyons."

"I'm so proud of you," Giovanni sniffed.

A sharp cry brought their attention back to where Eleanor stood amongst many of the downed poachers. She'd peeled back the hood of the man who'd rushed her in the end, and this was what had caused the scream.

Velvet was first to race to the scene; the others trailed behind. "Are you all right?" she asked huskily.

"This poacher!" Eleanor gasped. "It's…it's Praetor Solomon! He works for the Abbey, too!"

"Hey, I thought that weapon he had looked similar to yours!" Yang crowed. "You know, in the make of the shaft and – " Her face fell. "It's not the time, is it?"

"So that's how he knew I liked pengyon," Eleanor realized. "But…why? Why would a man of the Abbey be doing illegal pengyon trade?"

"I dunno," Giovanni said sarcastically. "It's not like they live in big giant houses with gaudy stained-glass windows they gotta pay for somehow or anything."

Eleanor slowly turned to gape at the others; "When he said I should put my money where my mouth is…does that mean the Abbey has been lying to me about the sourcing of the food we eat, too? Has it been poached so it gets to our table faster?"

"I wouldn't put it past them," Velvet admitted. "They're a corrupt institution. I know they may have taught you that they were doing good, but that's just how they reel in the idealists. In reality, the Abbey is like everyone else: selfish and willing to stoop to dirty tactics. They just piss me off more than everyone else because they not only lie about it but pretend to have a perpetual moral high ground."

"What you're saying…it's blasphemy," Eleanor said softly. "So why does it feel like…like you've told me something I've suspected all along?"

Because Velvet had dreamed it into her, of course. The same way the dream always repeated the cycle of Eleanor finally being able to slay the troll that, in the waking world, had destroyed her hometown and family. "Because you might actually be the one person in the Abbey whose brain and heart are both working," Velvet said.

"I…I don't know what to think anymore," Eleanor admitted. "If the people who gave me the rules I live by are so corrupt…but a bunch of ruffians who take things that don't belong to them ended up doing good for the innocents they were hurting…"

Gluntz approached, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Then maaaaaybe it's time to not be such a good guy anymore. Who knows? If you try being the bad guy, you might end up liking it! C'monnnn, break some rules! Have some fun! Come with us and we'll show you how!"

"But who…are you?" Eleanor asked. "Thieves? Assassins?"

"Just a buncha Heathens bein' selfish but also honest about it," Harley told her.

"I…" Eleanor dragged a toe in the sand. "It's so strange. I should say no and walk away from both you and them. But I just have this…this feeling that I need to at least see what you're about."

"Then come with us," Velvet urged. "We're going to Palamides to find more allies. There's someone there we apparently have to find. Maybe you'll find what you're looking for, too."

After a long pause, Eleanor looked up and steeled herself. "All right. I'll go with you. But I can't guarantee this means any sort of commitment! After all, you are a bunch of rule-breakers!"

"Oh, man," Giovanni whispered to Yang. "Wait until she gets to the part about us actually stealing stuff."

"That's the spirit!" Gluntz said, swinging her fist energetically. "Anything you wanna wrap up before we head out?"

"Actually, yes," Eleanor realized. "There is one thing."

She strode down to the waves, planting her feet where the water would just begin to lap at them. She raised one fist to the sky, staring out at the horizon with fierce intensity.

With all her heart, she bellowed, "FREE THE PENGYONS!"

...

At first, she knew nothing. But now she was waking up, and she was realizing that she knew a sum total of one thing and one alone.

That being: she was inside of a duffel bag being slung over someone's shoulder like a piece of meat.

Though there was no inkling of the context behind it, she could tell that this was nothing benevolent. That she was being stolen somehow, taken from wherever it was she should be and ferried to somewhere she shouldn't be.

Somewhere she had to escape at all costs.

Her body reacted naturally. She jerked, twisted, was able to break her captor's grip. She landed on one of his feet, causing him to yelp, "OW!"

Another instinct came to her as her breathing quickened. She needed out of this enclosure. So she called upon something deep inside, an old habit she couldn't explain, and into her hand came an enormous tool she didn't recognize, a gigantic key with bladed teeth.

She knew how to use it masterfully, despite not knowing at all what it was. In three strokes, she'd shredded the bag, scrambling to her bare feet in what looked like a back alley so she could glare venomously at the kidnapper with the mullet.

"H-hey now!" Deymos put up his hands in a gesture of surrender. "I'm just taking you back to your real dad, okay? Don't be mad!"

Something about him made her feel sick. Uncertain. No, certain of one thing, and that was how much good he was not up to. She slashed the blade through the air, challenging him.

"Okay, you know what?" Deymos relented. "Last time I tried to take on one of those things – " He nodded to the enormous key. "Mano-y-mano, I ended up Heartless chow! No thank you!"

He turned on a heel and sped away, a great black hole ripping itself in the universe for him to escape into.

She didn't pursue him. She didn't want to be anywhere near him. She already hated him with every fiber of her being and she didn't know why.

She had to get back to where she'd come from. But where even was that? Where did she belong?

Who was she?

The amnesiac girl, who didn't know she was Xion, wandered the alleys barefoot for what seemed like hours, only to get more and more turned around in the expanding districts of the city. Not a familiar face in sight. Not a single locale that rang a bell. She was in an alien landscape, and the overwhelming rush of sights and sounds was taking its toll.

Xion hurtled into another alley, a more quiet and secluded one, and curled up there sitting against the wall, knees pulled up and wrapped in her own embrace. There, she began to cry. For the loss of what she didn't even know she'd lost.

She knew nowhere.

No one.

Nothing.

Not even herself.

But from afar, she was being watched with a sympathetic eye by someone who knew that now more than ever, this girl with the bare feet and the black hair needed a friend.

...

In days of old, the Belladonna manor was a rallying place for the White Fang, when the organization was devoted to equality and rights. But at the present moment, because it had been set on fire during a particularly nasty clash between the Belladonna heir herself and a White Fang extremist, it wasn't exactly livable. Ghira, Kali, and Blake Belladonna, as well as Blake's guest Sun Wukong, had moved to an inn, where the lobby was crowded with members of the new, more rational White Fang that meant to head off the extremists' attack at Haven.

There was plenty of tea and chatting to go around. The following morning, they would all board the airship that would take them up to Mistral, then plot their strategy to outfox Adam. Most were nervous, but they masked their anxiety with good spirits. Sun in particular was a master of this craft, gesturing with both hands and lifting his teacup with his tail as he told stories from the mainland.

Blake, however, soon pulled away from the crowd, heading up to her family's rented room. A small sliding door led to a modest balcony, and it was out here that she spent her last night before the counter-assault, breathing the cool air beneath a cloak of darkness.

Always happiest in shadows.

Then a rustling from nearby, one that sounded just too unnatural, caught her attention. She flinched, drawing her Gambol Shroud as she turned to the direction of the noise. "Who's there?"

Even though she was looking right into the thick of the leaves of a tree, she knew better than to trust the unlikely scenario. Most people who were willing to do her harm were very good climbers.

A voice flowed out of the leaves: a low, raspy hiss. "I have not come to hurt you."

"Are you a friend," Blake asked, on edge, "or an enemy?"

"Neither," the hiss replied. "I cannot afford to become friends with the likes of you. But I am an ally. Allow me to board with your resistance, and I will help you destroy Adam Taurus."

Two eyes suddenly gleamed from within the tree, shining unnaturally.

Blake straightened up; "If that's what you want, then you're going to have to go through my dad. Not me. And if there's any foul play here, you will get stopped."

"Understood."

A quick, sudden rustle. The hurtling forward of a body in the tree's branches. Then the speaker hopped out, heavy boots landing on the balcony beside Blake.

She gasped. Recoiled. Faunus didn't look like this, not ever. "Who…who are you?"

"A hunter." The Mukhtar glowered at her. "And for the purposes of this mission, Adam Taurus is my prey."