Taking Back the Crown

by JCMorrigan

Mozenrath. Archibald Snatcher. Roman Torchwick. Mad Madam Mim. Yzma. The Huntsman. Wuya. Ayam Aghoul. Their mission: take over the multiverse, or look fabulous trying. Rated M for swearing, steamy implications and VERY bloody battles. Contains slash and het shipping.

141. Commedia Dell'Arte

The coordinates found in the tunnels led Ven and Papyrus' canoe to a specific patch of water in the bay. This time, there was nothing obvious floating for them to find, but the crude carving down in the tunnels indicated they were obviously supposed to use the remote from the last parcel once they'd reached these coordinates. Ven did the honors of pressing the button, and a buoyant float came bursting up from below, yet another box attached to it.

It was a very pretty box, purple with pink accents, its lid featuring a stylized carving of a fish and each edge marked with five-pointed stars. Sadly, it wasn't a puzzle box this time. Inside, Ven and Papyrus found a beautiful old-fashioned pair of bronze binoculars, emblems of multi-sailed galleons marked on each half.

"What do you think these are for?" Ven asked.

"SEEING THINGS UP CLOSE," Papyrus replied. "THAT IS USUALLY WHAT BINOCULARS ARE FOR."

Ven's phone rang; excitedly, he answered on speakerphone, gasping, "Hilda?"

Hilda sighed on the other end of the line. "Uh-oh. I'm getting predictable. This really will be our last conversation."

"Wha – " Ven gasped. "But why? We were becoming friends!"

"I know that's what you wanted so badly," Hilda told him, "but some things just weren't meant to be. After all, the entire reason I left the island was to get away from having to deal with people and friendships and social obligations."

"BUT THAT SOUNDS SO LONELY!" Papyrus lamented.

"Perhaps for you," Hilda corrected. "I was having the time of my life, all alone, until things started happening back on that island. And once you set things right, I'll be able to go back to that time again."

"I…I GUESS I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT," Papyrus admitted. "SOME PEOPLE DO BETTER ALONE."

"We can respect that," Ven sighed. "It's just…"

"You thought you knew me well after only a few exchanges of vague clues?" Hilda finished for him. "I do hate to disappoint you, but there are such obvious better choices of friend than me. I think you've found at least one on that island already. But that's a puzzle for you to solve on your own time. Right now, you're in the home stretch of the more important business at hand!"

"Wait," Ven said sternly. "If this is gonna be the last time we talk…then you need to tell us why this is important to you. We can't just keep doing what you say unless we know what it's all for. I know you want us to be able to earn it for ourselves, but at the same time, we can't just…follow orders blindly."

"You remain a smart one, I'll tell you that." Hilda sounded quite amused. "Very well. To make a long story short, while my husband was still alive, he and I explored every inch of that town. Everything in, around, and under Snake Horse Harbor. What we discovered – and we discovered everything – we wrote down in a notebook. Now, after his demise, I had to put on the act that I'd lost my marbles so I wouldn't get followed, so of course I left behind all of my things and started from scratch. Problem is, I should've taken that notebook with me. Someone's quite obviously found it and is using it to cause trouble."

"THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW ALL THESE SECRET PLACES!" Papyrus realized. "LIKE THE BEACH AND THE TUNNEL!"

"And you're talking about the burglaries, right?" Ven added. "If the tunnel was in the notebook, then that means the people who are robbing the town are using your notes to figure out how! And maybe this even has something to do with Katie's boat!"

"OH – OH DEAR." Papyrus had put the pieces together. "SO YOU FEEL LIKE EVERYTHING BAD THAT'S BEEN HAPPENING IS YOUR FAULT."

"Precisely," Hilda said. "So for your final step – "

"It's not your fault, you know," Ven interrupted. "You couldn't have known someone so awful would find your notes, or what they would do."

"AND IF YOU FOUND EVERYTHING IN THOSE NOTES JUST BY LOOKING," Papyrus added, "THEN ANYONE COULD'VE FOUND IT OUT THE SAME WAY, TOO. IF YOU'D TAKEN THAT NOTEBOOK, THIS MIGHT'VE ALL HAPPENED ANYWAY."

"Please don't blame yourself, Hilda," Ven urged. "We're so close. We can clean up this mess. And a lot of that is because you helped us. But the real person at fault for making everything go wrong is whoever stole your notes. We'll make it right, and we'll get that notebook somewhere it can't be used again. Please, please don't worry."

"A lovely sentiment, boys," Hilda said, "but I'm afraid even after you fix everything up, which I know you will, what's done is done. All the more reason to stay out of the public eye once the hubbub dies down. You can't undo my mistake, and that's just my own cross to bear. I'm a big girl, of course, and I can handle a little guilt."

"All you did was make a mistake, though!" Ven urged. "You were trying to do what was best for you, and – and I just don't think it'd be fair if no one forgave you!"

"EXACTLY!" Papyrus said. "I HAVE FRIENDS WHO HAVE DONE OR COULD DO THINGS SO MUCH WORSE THAN JUST LEAVE A SENSITIVE NOTEBOOK OUT IN THE OPEN. I CAN SAY QUITE CONFIDENTLY THAT YOU, HILDA, ARE A VERY GOOD PERSON, AND ALSO, THERE WILL ALWAYS BE MORE CHANCES FOR YOU TO DO EVEN BETTER!"

A long silence. Then Hilda said, "You boys really are something else. I suppose I'll have to take your words to heart and stop kicking myself, then. But there's still work to be done. Forgiveness won't stop the ransacking of the entire town. Now, are you ready for your final puzzle? No more interruptions."

"We'll be quiet," Ven promised.

"Then take what I've just given you and use it to have a look at the bottle I gave to Andy. A really good look. When the time comes, you'll know what to do with what you see. In fact, I'm certain you've already seen the place to use it. Is that clear?"

"YES," Papyrus told her. "VERY."

"I'm glad it was you who put together all my messages in the bottles, I'll tell you that," Hilda said, once more amused. "I had a feeling whoever could decode my puzzles would be trustworthy. And as always, it turns out my gut instincts were right on. Now, get going before it's too late. You'll keep what I told you to yourselves, right?"

"Of course!" Ven said.

"Then this, as they say in the business, is a wrap," Hilda stated. "And…ah, well, you might as well know. I still want to be left alone, you know. But I suppose in our own strange little way…maybe we have been friends. I'll always think of you fondly, as I'm sure the rest of the town will when you put a stop to this madness."

"And you'll always be in our heart!" Ven replied.

Hilda chuckled. "It seems you're a sharp detective, but if that falls through as a career choice, it sounds like you could make a living as a poet. Thank you, boys."

And the line went dead.

The canoe sat still in the water for a while, rocking gently as tiny waves lapped against it. Then Ven said, "I should really take my own advice."

"WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?"

"I kept on blaming myself," Ven admitted. "For Vanitas, for the x-blade, for everything that happened. For Terra and Aqua and how they ended up. I still think there was a lot I could've done differently, and a lot that I was…just plain stupid to do. But I really was trying my best…or I thought I was. And what matters is that it was ten years ago. The worlds moved on. Punishing myself won't solve anything. All it will do is make me feel…like it's what I 'should' be doing. To suffer in exchange for the suffering I caused. To not exist anymore…that wouldn't help anybody. It's just an idea of atonement that really doesn't even work. I can still help stop Xehanort now. I can help all my new friends. Aqua is in a safe place, and we'll find Terra. But the first thing I have to do…is forgive myself."

"VEN," Papyrus replied softly. "I WAS HOPING YOU'D FIGURE THAT OUT." He reached around Ven from behind, wrapping his bony fingers through Ven's fingers of flesh. "AND I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT I'VE ALREADY FORGIVEN YOU. WELL, I NEVER THOUGHT YOU DID ANYTHING WRONG, REALLY."

Ven squeezed his hand in return. "Thank you. For everything."

"NOW, SHOULD WE GO SEE WHAT HILDA LEFT AT THE END OF HER LAST PUZZLE?"

"Yeah. We should."

They returned to Whale World, and as Andy worked on some promotional posters, Ven and Papyrus discreetly passed the binoculars back and forth, looking at the ship in the bottle. As it turned out, these particular binoculars weren't for seeing up close. Their glass cast a red filter through which the two could see the images printed on the sails of the little ship: a curlicue, a stylized cross, a five-pointed star.

Neither of them needed to be told where they'd seen those images before.

They returned to the plaque of the sea serpent below the lighthouse, the one in the caves. From there, they set to work determining which image went with which dial. It was a very clever puzzle, Papyrus noted, because between the outer plate and the two dials, no set had all three needed symbols, and so it was a process of elimination to figure out how to combine them all, pressing one button on the plaque and setting the two dials to the remaining images.

Once they'd input that code of sorts, the sound of sliding rock caught their attention. At the far side of the caves, an entire wall had moved, revealing a secret archway to another cavern.

"Whoa!" Ven cried, beaming. "There's gotta be something really important in there!"

"THEN LET'S GET BACK OUT TO THE BOAT!" Papyrus crowed.

...

Xion woke up screaming.

Her dreams had taken her to strange places. A room where everything felt disoriented. A dark place where fear lurked in the shadows. A sealed chamber, too hot, underground. A height too high, where she herself was too big.

And yet as she sat up in her bed in the Pandaemonium palace, the imagery of the dream slipped out of her mind, sand through a sieve. There had been another person there, but she couldn't recall anything about them anymore. Or maybe they'd never been there. Then there were the heavy metal implements in her hands –

Her hands –

She saw them and she screamed again.

They were covered by gray gauntlets she definitely hadn't worn to bed. They didn't feel like items of clothing, either. It felt like she had nothing on, even though as she looked up and down herself, she was armored all the way. Raising her hands to her face, she felt a click as the fingers tapped a visor that obscured everything but her eyes.

It looked like armor. But the way it was grafted to her skin, the way it refused to remove itself no matter how she fumbled with it, made it seem more like a carapace.

"Ninhursag?"

She looked up to the doorway of her spacious bedroom with its walls of orange and purple that glittered in torchlight. There, in her door, were Nergal, Sis, and Junior, all looking quite concerned indeed.

"Are those pajamas new?" Sis asked.

"I…I don't know what's happening!" Xion cried. Her voice came out distorted: multiplied, reverberated. "I had a dream, and then I woke up like this, and it doesn't come off and I think it's my skin!"

"Oh, well, it's a very lovely skin!" Nergal told her. "Is that what you were worried about?"

"NO!" Xion was breathing more and more frenetically. "This isn't normal! I'm not HUMAN! I'm…I'm some kind of monster!"

"Oh…oh, dear." Nergal rushed to her, sitting down on the bed beside her. "Ninhursag…there's nothing to be ashamed of about being a monster."

"Yeah," Junior insisted, trotting up to the bedside as well. "I'm a monster. I have to hide it a lot in public because the sight of my true form drives most people to terror and madness, but I like who I am. If you can't hide, well, this town seems friendlier than our last one anyway. If it makes you feel better, I could show off a little bit more of what I really look like. Here."

The human body he previously bore collapsed in on itself into an amorphous blob, then reforged itself as something that looked even less human than Nergal: a bipedal, winged, jet-black demon with eyes on stalks protruding from all over.

"Oh," Xion said as she beheld him. "Is that what you really look like? Because…I don't think it's terrifying at all."

"Well, this is a couple degrees off to protect your sanity," Junior admitted.

"I'd…like to see your true form someday," Xion told him. "Maybe since I'm a monster too, I can handle it." She buried her visor in her new gauntlet-claws. "But you have to hide it! Just like you said! I…I don't know if I can! If this was always inside of me or if I can ever change back! Everyone will hate me!"

(Someone already had hated her, for what she was. She was certain of it.)

"Oh, no, honey…" Now Sis was seated beside Nergal on the bed. "Sweetie, people who judge you based on looks are a bunch of jerks. I think you look beautiful. And the people out there who love you and you're meant to love, they'll think you look pretty too."

"But I…I can't make friends if I'm…" Tears ran down the shell of the mask. "I don't even know how to say it. All I know is that I'm sure that once, the fact that I was a monster…ruined everything."

"And isn't that just how it is?" Nergal told her. "Everything gets ruined all the time! It's a part of life. The people who truly love you will be there for you even after everything is ruined, and you'll be so much happier once you learn how to ruin things with grace. After all…" He put his hand over his heart. "I, too, ruin everything with my very existence."

"He does," Sis confirmed. "But that's what I love about him."

"I don't care if you ruin things," Junior spoke up. "You're a good sister, and you're one of the first people I've gotten to talk to in a long time who didn't make fun of me."

Maybe she was overreacting. To the three of them, the fact that she was an armored creature who dreamed of destruction didn't really seem to mean anything at all. Who had it meant something to? She didn't know. And maybe that was all that mattered.

"I'm sorry," she sighed. "I didn't think. That nightmare shook me up."

She paused. Put out a metal hand, palm flat on the wall beside her bed. "Do you feel that?"

"Your pain?" Nergal asked. "Of course!"

"No," Xion corrected. "It's like a heartbeat. All around us. I felt it earlier, when you showed me this place, but I don't think I knew what it was, and now it's stronger."

"Great," Sis sighed. "Tomorrow morning, I gotta go get this place insured for damage caused by giant heartbeats."

"I don't feel it," Junior told her. "Maybe that's a special power you have."

"Special," Xion repeated. "I wouldn't mind that."

"See?" Nergal encouraged. "There's nothing wrong with being a horrific and disgusting harbinger of doom. It only makes you unique, and you should never have to be anything but you."

She smiled. And as she did, she felt a tingling; glittery sparkles rose through the air before her eyes.

"Your face!" Junior gasped. "It's a human face again!"

She reached up. Traced one of her cheeks with a claw. The rest of her was still armored, but her face was back the way it had been. "Oh!" she gasped. "Maybe it was the nightmare, and calming down is what makes things go back to normal?"

"Would you like to take your mind off that awful dream?" Nergal asked. "We could play Command Capture. The thirty-round special."

Xion nodded with a soft smile. "Okay."

As the family of four arranged around the card table downstairs and the game set into motion, Xion's carapace slowly disappeared, leaving her in the pajamas she'd gone to bed with in the first place. Then she fell asleep right there at the table, and Nergal was about to just slide a pillow under her head until Sis convinced him to carry Xion up to her bedroom proper and tuck her in.

"Goodnight, Ninhursag," he said as he left her room, watching her sleep peacefully.

Then he and Sis sat up in their shared bed for a little while, he in a striped nightgown and she in pink lace.

"You're worried about her," Sis realized.

"Of course I am," Nergal sighed. "She's so concerned with being a monster, not realizing that coming into monsterhood is the most wonderful part of being a teenager! She's so afraid that others won't see her for who she really is…and where we came from, that was certainly a concern. Oh, Sis, have I told you lately how lucky I am to have found you, for you to see who I am beneath my pathetic exterior?"

"About twice a day, honey."

They nuzzled, and Nergal went back to musing; "If only we could show her that there are people waiting out there to be her true friends, regardless of – no, BECAUSE of the horrible creature she can become with no warning! But who? Who could possibly be such a disgusting band of losers that could empathize?"

The answer was so obvious that it struck him immediately. He snapped his fingers; "THAT'S IT!"

...

The first thing Entrapta and Hordak had to do aboard the Van Eltia was insist, yet again, that they were not dating and had no interest in it.

Then, as usual, the newcomers were able to disperse over the deck and throughout the ship on the ride to the next port: Taliesin, the last port of significance in that part of the world before you started having to think about the Far Continent.

(And given how risky a voyage to the Far Continent was, Harley really hoped no one had gotten thrown there. She would go if there was someone, but from what she could remember of the list, there couldn't have been that many people left anyway.)

Approaching Eastgand, the continent upon which Taliesin was situated, the crew of the Van Eltia had settled into comfortable discussion. Entrapta was fixated on Spinel, never having seen anything like her before.

"So your entire body is just a hardened light projection that's centered on your gem?" Entrapta squealed, eyes twinkling. "That's wonderful! Think of how we could use that technology to heal organic life if we could replicate it! We could engineer entire prosthetics that move and feel like the real thing but are contained in a piece of jewelry!"

"EXCUSE you!" Spinel barked. "I am NOT a piece of technology! And I'm certainly nothing for humans to just…replicate!"

"Oh," Entrapta realized. "That did sound a little…bad, didn't it? I'm sorry. I'm not great with people."

Spinel's gaze softened. "It's…all right. I'm not that great with people either, to tell you the truth."

"Well, for what it's worth," Entrapta said, "I think you're amazing. From a scientific standpoint and from a general one."

Spinel turned away. "It's not so amazing as you think. I used to project a different form entirely. It was…brighter. Happier. Friendlier! But then I got…hurt. And now all I can be is this horrible, hateful thing."

"Oh, Spinel, I don't think you're horrible at all! Don't you see how beautiful you are?"

Spinel whipped around on a heel. "You – s-stop lying! I am NOT BEAUTIFUL!"

"I'm not lying," Entrapta said with pure sincerity.

Spinel relaxed. "It's not as if there's any point to saying that now. When you all return to the real world, I'm shattered, so I won't exist anymore."

"But you exist here," Entrapta told her. "So that must mean you still do technically exist inside the remains of your gem! I'm sorry for using technological terms again, but I'm pretty sure that once we leave, if you'd let me work with your shards, I could engineer you back into a whole again so that you could project your light form. I'm already thinking of compounds I could use to solder your pieces back together, and I think I have some ideas that'll work!"

"You…you do?" Spinel gaped. "You would do all that just to put me back together? But…" Her eyes watered. "But why?"

"Because I think we could be really good friends," Entrapta replied.

Spinel broke down crying completely as she collapsed onto Entrapta, wrapping her arms around her double in a very tight hug. Entrapta reached around to pat her on the back; "Oh, there, there."

Meanwhile, Hordak had joined up with the clique comprised of Locus and Emerald. "So you're saying you want to put that Fright Zone behind you?" Locus asked.

"Yes," Hordak stated. "But not…everything, of course."

"None of us want to let go of everything," Emerald reminded him. "I'm a thief, he's a mercenary, and you're a warrior. That's who we are. We're just gonna be better about it in the future."

"Indeed," Hordak said with a nod. "The Fright Zone was, in essence, only something I adopted to impress Horde Prime."

"Been there," Emerald sighed. "You're better off without him. Trust me."

"Find your own deeds and misdeeds," Locus agreed. "There's no one to judge you anymore. Your friend obviously accepts you no matter what you are, so you might as well take this opportunity to find out what, exactly, it is you are. Which is something I'm still finding out."

Emerald briefly put up a hand. "Me too."

"How do you…find out your purpose, after having been blinded for so long?" Hordak asked.

"We'll let you know when we get there," Emerald told him. "For now, if you wanna complain, we're all ears."

"I am interested to know about the planets on your side of the multiverse," Locus added. "The galaxies I worked with never spoke of any Horde Prime. We just had Charon Industries. Similar, but obviously not the same."

"This is my first time even knowing any other worlds could be lived on," Emerald admitted. "Though Horde Prime and Salem sound like peas in a pod. So yeah. Start complaining whenever."

Hordak's red eyes focused downward onto the planks of the deck. Then he began: "There were days I wished I weren't defective. He always treated me as lesser. But now I see that at the very least, being defective made him see me as an independent entity, and that makes me all the angrier, for were I whole, that is what I should have been from the very start."

There was a similar conversation taking place across the deck regarding the other clone of Horde Prime. Yet, as Charon Industries was similar to yet different from Horde Prime, this conversation was a completely different beast.

"Your master sounds awful!" Ifurita gasped.

"Yes," Wrong Hordak affirmed. "Truly he was." He sniffled, his eyes watering.

"Maybe Lord Jinnai can be your new master!" Ifurita suggested. "He will never assimilate you into a hivemind. The one time I had my own free will altered by a doomsday device, he went to great lengths to give me back my independent thought! …Though then again, that might've been because I was also piloting the doomsday device to destroy the entire world and itself."

"Oh, how awful!" Wrong Hordak gasped. "I shall certainly take it under consideration. After all, the idea of being my own person is still so…strange to me! What am I supposed to do if no one gives me orders? Who am I supposed to be if there is no Prime to copy?"

"Well," Ifurita mused, "a lot of times, when I don't have any orders to follow, I like to bake and eat sweets. Have you tried that?"

"I have worked in the kitchen before," Wrong Hordak admitted. "I should figure out more things I can cook. Then, I can build myself a new identity devoted solely to the preparation of food!"

"You're doing better already!" Ifurita chirped.

Velvet, Magilou, Eizen, and Rokurou had returned to their usual discussion; Harley shoved Eleanor at them while squealing "DELIVERY!" before darting off.

"Uh…" Rokurou shrugged. "Okay."

"Um." Eleanor put up a shy hand. "Hello? I'm…I'm not sure why Harley brought me over here with all of you. Not that I'm complaining, but – "

"Harley seems to have some kind of agenda to make us a particular group of friends," Eizen said, shaking his head. "It seems to be working so far, so I won't complain."

"You can join in while we talk about petty grievances!" Magilou suggested. "Everyone loves doing that, after all."

"You mean gossip?" Eleanor realized. "I…I don't know. Gossip was frowned upon in the Abbey…"

"Maybe because people would figure out the praetors were dealing in illegal animal trade if it happened," Velvet reminded her.

Eleanor stomped a foot; "You're right! The Abbey wasn't honest with me, so I should question the things they said! Okay! I'm ready to gossip!"

"For one thing," Magilou sighed, "I'm not looking forward to going back to Taliesin. Not since I attempted my last comedy show there. They had the nerve to say I wasn't funny."

"How DARE they!" Eleanor growled. Then: "Uh…she is funny, right?"

"Oh, I'll say she's hilarious," Velvet said with a mischievous smirk.

"I know I've laughed at her more than once," Rokurou added.

"Oh, har-dee-har-har!" Magilou groaned, realizing the implication. "Like you're all the picture of normal. A finicky pirate, a woman who dresses like she just pulled off a prison break, a PRAETOR who decided to ride along on a pirate ship, and a swordsman who never shuts up about his damn swords!"

"Speaking of," Rokurou said, "you a swordswoman, Eleanor?"

"Spear, actually," Eleanor told him. "I tried to work with swords in the beginning of my training, but the feel just wasn't right."

"I getcha," Rokurou said with a nod. "You gotta go with the weapon that feels natural in your hand. Now, for a Rangetsu, there isn't much choice to begin with, but you're not a Rangetsu, so you can do what you want."

Significant time had passed since the docking at Yseult, and now, Laphicet, who felt particularly detached from the idea of being male in that particular moment, was giving female pronouns a spin. She and Molly had gone back to talking about things that normal twelve-year-old girls who didn't have to become the incarnation of a god of morality would do in their daily lives, only to be interrupted by a third party.

"Sometimes they make you do really pointless assignments," Molly sighed. "I know once I get two years older, they're going to make me memorize the layout of the entire world and then draw it."

"Isn't it more important to know what parts of the world you want to explore?" Laphicet asked. "I could've drawn you a map of my world when I was ten…but that was because I wanted to see it, and I was trapped inside, weathering my Twelve Year Sickness. There would be no point to doing it if you didn't want to."

"That's the thing about school. They make you do things all the time that they say you'll need later in life, but really, what matters is how well you do it right then so they can give you a letter that says whether you're good or bad at what you do, and if you're bad, then you just get punished."

"I'm almost beginning to be grateful I didn't attend a school," Laphicet sighed.

Molly brightened; "But it's a great place to make friends! It's where I met Trixie and Phoenica. When we get out of here, we'll go back to find them, and I can introduce you. They'll both love you!"

"They'll both love you!" Molly's voice sounded from over her shoulder. "They'll both love you!"

With a scream, she flinched, turning to see Imp perched on the mast nearby. He opened his mouth, playing back that exact scream.

"So you copy the sounds you hear," Laphicet noted.

"So you copy the sounds you hear," Imp said back in a perfect imitation of Laphicet's voice.

"Hmm." Laphicet thought it over. "Molly, it seems as though there is a connection between your special power and this being. He can only copy the sounds around him, while you mute the sounds around you at will. There is something here that could be useful. We just have to figure out what it is."

"All I can think of is that I would probably take away anything he wanted to copy," Molly sighed. "Not very helpful."

"HEY!" Bienfu came flying from seemingly nowhere, tackling Imp and pinning him to the ground. "You're coming with me!" He got up, dragging Imp along by the hand.

"Be careful with him," Laphicet snapped.

"Ohhh, Mr. Cedriiiiiiic!" Bienfu skidded before Cedric and Wormwood with Imp in tow. "Have I got a surprise for you! But first, I wanna ask Wormwood what he thinks about this whole situation."

"Oh, what idiocy have you come up with now?" Wormwood sighed. "I swear, perhaps you SHOULD team up with Cedric. Like minds and all."

"Hey, buddy!" Bienfu nudged Imp with an elbow. "Do that repeat thing!"

Imp opened his mouth, and the caws of a crow came out. It was at this time that Bienfu realized Imp's ability to copy sounds didn't necessarily mean he could translate them.

Cedric folded his arms; "Is this yet another harebrained scheme to get me to turn against Wormwood?"

"It's not HAREBRAINED!" Bienfu insisted. "It's real! Wormwood is rude and also a jerk!"

"Wormwood is rude and also a jerk!" Imp repeated.

With a long, drawn-out sigh, Bienfu relented, "I give up. I'm gonna go do something else."

"I'm gonna go do something else," Imp repeated before breaking away to find another person to imitate.

"Oh my gosh, ROBOOOOOOT!" Abigail and Dr. Lopez crowded around Emily, examining her every inch and babbling about the intricacies of her design.

Mel and Ohn looked on with star-struck smiles. "They're adorable," Ohn said.

"They are," Mel agreed.

Gluntz and the Once-ler had figured out a few things about one another from context. "You're from the fairy-tale land of Green Eggs and Ham!" the Once-ler realized. "I'd thought that was just a kids' story! Soooo, tell me: is Meepville real?"

"You betcha!" Gluntz affirmed. "But that's NOTHING! YOU'RE from the mythological Truffula Forest!"

"Heheh…yeah," the Once-ler replied. "That is…definitely a thing that still exists. OW!"

"Oops." Yang shook her cybernetic arm as she brushed past; its elbow had caught him in the ribs. "Sorry. My LIE DETECTOR just went off."

Gluntz gave the Once-ler a venomous glare; "What did you doooooo?"

"Nothing!" the Once-ler attempted. "I did nothing wrong."

"NO MORE LIES!" Gluntz zoomed up close to him – as close as she could get despite being so much shorter – and put up an index finger in his face. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO THE BAR-BA-LOOTS?"

"In my defense," the Once-ler said, "the Bar-ba-loots ARE safe now. I don't know where they are, but wherever that is, it's a place with more forest than the place they came from."

"AND WHAT ABOUT THE SWOMEE SWANS, BUSTER?"

From atop the mast, Benwick called down, "Aifread! Eizen! We have a ship approaching off starboard!"

"An opportunity?" Aifread called back.

"There's something I don't like about it!" Benwick said. "I'm not sure how to describe it!"

"That's no reason to avoid a ship," Eizen sighed. "Then again, knowing my curse…"

There was a great boom. And then the cannonball careened over the deck, nearly taking Spike and Darkstar over the edge of the railing with it.

"HOLY CROW!" Spike shrieked. "THAT COULDA TAKEN OUR STAMINA DOWN BY EIGHTY PERCENT!"

"That coulda KILLED you guys!" Sandman cried.

"What would another pirate ship want to get outta shootin' at us?" Harley asked.

Eizen just gave her a sardonic look.

"Right," Harley said, realizing that the Van Eltia was widely recognized as one of the most dangerous and lucrative vessels on the sea here. "Stupid question."

Several more bangs, and Aifread jerked the wheel to avoid getting the Van Eltia blown to bits by the rapid cannon fire. "It's fully crewed," he grunted, "and they ain't happy with us!"

"We're not going to make Taliesin with the way it's positioned," Velvet realized.

"Evasive maneuver!" Eizen was dashing across the deck. "Make a course for Lionel Island! We'll regroup once we've docked!"

The ship changed course drastically as bundles of cannonballs plunked into the water in its wake. At first, the other ship gave chase, veering around to quickly catch the wind and follow. When the Van Eltia made clear it was escaping, however, the other ship turned out of the wind to slow its course. Then, finally, the mysterious ship disappeared on the horizon, putting the Van Eltia out of range of its fire.

Eizen gritted his teeth. "Whoever was steering that ship was a veteran of the sea. I don't like surrendering to a rival ship…which means we're going to have to come back and teach them why they shouldn't fire on the Van Eltia."

"But we regroup first," Yang insisted.

"Of course," Eizen grumbled. "Wouldn't want the Reaper's Curse to get in the way."

Harley stared off the back of the Van Eltia, at the watery horizon they were leaving behind. Of course it was natural for pirate ships to fire at one another. That was what pirates did. They were the combative sort.

But she had a feeling this particular ship was more dangerous than even Aifread and Eizen could realize. After all, why else would a pirate ship fly black sails?

...

The portal that Octopus and Megavolt created on the nearest floating rock to the rift in Daibazaal was a silver arch blinking with all colors of light. It had a pad protruding from its side that featured several buttons for operation. Atop the arch, three crystals protruded at odd angles, adding a little magic to the technology.

"All right," Mozenrath said once it was erected. "We need to decide who stays and who goes."

"Well, I was the decisive factor in the victory against Lotor," Morvok huffed. "I think I've earned the right to rest on my laurels."

"Things in the category 'Not Surprised to Hear the Coward Say' for five hundred," Shego snorted.

"You're one to bloody talk!" Draco snapped.

"Okay, so just for that, I'm going through the portal," Shego sniffed. "I practice STRATEGIC LAZINESS, not cowardice. And right now? I kinda feel like getting on my feet and causing some trouble."

"Discord, you stay here," Mozenrath commanded. "I'm going through the portal, of course, so we need a powerhouse to guard the Vicious in my absence. You slightly edge out Tala as the most effective we have."

Discord spun a quick 360, coming back to his original position in a security guard uniform. He saluted; "No one's going to sabotage us on MY watch."

"I'd rather deal with his nonsense in familiar territory than whatever nonsense is in that other reality," Draco sniffed. "At least I know what to expect with him."

"Do you, though?" Discord placed a top hat adorned with several fake flowers on Draco's head. "Do you really?"

"I wish to see how my creation works," Octopus said as he surveyed the portal arch. "I am well aware I have succeeded, but I would like to know that success inside and out."

"Yeah, well, somebody's gotta handle maintenance on this end," Megavolt remarked. "You go, I stay."

"I'm making another call," Mozenrath decided. "Tala comes with us. I'm not underpowering the scouting party."

"I am not opposed to this," Tala said with a coy smirk.

"Then four for four," Zeron Alpha said. "I stay out here."

"Yeah, that's five out here and four in there," Shego told him. "Might wanna recount."

Zeron Alpha grinned. "I wasn't counting Morvok. I was only tallying USEFUL members."

"OKAY, I RESENT THAT!" Morvok yelled. "I blow up Lotor for you and THIS is how you repay me?"

"I apologize, then," Zeron Alpha said. "The number is still four. Half a useful member in you, and half in Megavolt."

"See, I thought Sparky was the one you were excluding on purpose the first time," Mozenrath said.

"WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT THAT NICKNAME?" Megavolt yelled. He then turned to Morvok, deflated. "We get no respect around here, I TELL you."

"They're just jealous of us," Morvok told him. Then he leaned in and whispered, "You do have a backup hoverbot waiting for me, right?"

"Oh, yeah, yeah," Megavolt whispered back with a nod.

"Then it's decided," Mozenrath stated. "Otto, why don't you do the honors?"

Octopus pressed the green button that caused all of the lights on the arch to illuminate in sequence, forming a rainbow. The arch then filled with a pulsing blue light that seemed to be sucked inward by some sort of black-hole effect.

"Hopefully, this won't take long," Mozenrath said as he strode toward it. "Given the uneven flow of time across realities, I'd estimate that the biggest margin of error between that one and ours is only about…oh…maybe a billion years. So I'd put that as the maximum to wait for us to come back before anyone gets worried."

He greatly enjoyed vanishing into the portal as everyone else behind him yelled "WHAT?".

Mozenrath arrived on the mirror image of the floating rock, in a second destroyed Daibazaal. Then Octopus, Tala, and Shego stepped out beside him.

Already, the difference between this reality and the previous one was stark. The big visual cue was the fleet of dark spaceships that patrolled across the sky. Once they were out of sight, yet another fleet came from a different direction.

As always, Mozenrath had withheld some information about this destination so he could dramatically reveal it on the spot later. "You may notice the constant military surveillance," he stated. "This particular reality is marked by a very special oddity. Here, there actually is one evildoer who managed to singlehandedly seize control of the entire multiverse. And I can't say I'm not immensely jealous."

"He must be very, very powerful, in that case," Tala surmised.

"You know the Darkness that the Heartless are made out of?" Mozenrath posed. "He's not just made of it. He's a SOURCE. Living Darkness, with a consciousness, a mind, and unlimited power. Even the most powerful Heartless known to humanity would be an afternoon snack for him."

"He seems quite a challenge to take on," Octopus noted. "I presume we are here to topple him?"

"That's a secondary agenda," Mozenrath said. "What we're really here to do is pick up one of his discarded minions. Someone I've had on my list for a while thanks to a tip-off from Hecate…but who I could never really go after because in our reality, the despot was wiped from existence, and everything that ever resulted as a butterfly effect of him collapsed. Including all means for that particular minion to appear in the realm of the living. Shame." He shook his head. "Guess we'll just have to take the copy out of this realm."

"So what, we've gotta find his home planet, then?" Shego asked.

"I know where it is," Mozenrath stated, putting up a hand to cast a Corridor that pulsed in the dark. "This Corridor will take us directly there, no pit stops."

"Who is this guy, anyway?" Shego pressed. "Why would a primal force of Darkness get all interested in just taking over the worlds? Isn't that usually the type that wants to destroy everything and get all growly about it?"
"This one's just full of surprises," Mozenrath replied.

"But you do know the name of our foe," Tala said. "The one whose underling we are attempting to obtain."

"That I do." Mozenrath folded his arms to smirk at the other three. "See, here in this reality, the future is Aku."

...

Another uneventful day at Nergal's Pizza led to Xion and Junior mostly chatting in the kitchen about the different magical ingredients that could go into pizza sauce. So far, there hadn't been a customer all day.

There also had been no sign of Xion's carapace returning. It mustn't have been triggered by stress alone, because for the majority of the day, she was quite stressed about it.

The Brotherhood of Mutants showed up in the late afternoon for a lunch that was almost bordering on dinner in terms of timing. Late sleepers, all of them but Wanda, and Wanda had just given in to their thrown-off schedule. As usual, they ordered two enormous pizzas with too many toppings. Nergal used their new "friend discount" to reduce the cost of each pizza to a penny.

"That's really not good for business, Dad," Junior warned.

"It's really not like we need the money anyway," Nergal reminded him, and Junior couldn't argue.

Xion brought out the pizzas, then immediately retreated back to the safety of the kitchen. Nergal, meanwhile, strode up to the table confidently, looking over the quintet of teens as they grabbed for slices.

"I do say that I hope it isn't too forward of me to ask a favor," Nergal said with a toothy grin.

Within a few minutes, Todd very loudly declared, "WOW, OUR TABLE SURE DID RUN OUT OF THOSE RED FLAKEY THINGS FAST! SURE WISH SOMEBODY WOULD BRING OUT MORE!"

Xion rushed in with a fresh red-pepper shaker. "Here you go!" She placed it down on their table.

"Hey, Ninny!" Lance gestured to where he and Pietro had scooted over to make a space in the booth for one more person. "Why don't you sit down for a bit? Take a load off!"

Xion fidgeted. "I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"Well, you're gonna have to," Pietro sulked, "because Lance here went overboard with his mutant powers shaking things up, and now the entire seat is uneven. You gotta see it for yourself; I'm lookin' at the ugly contingent diagonal!"

"Um." Xion looked between the five.

"Well?" Nergal urged. "Go on. See if the furniture is up to code."

Xion gingerly sat down in the empty space. As she leaned back, her shoulders made contact with the back of the booth.

Nergal's trap was activated. A black slime he'd left there oozed out, gluing itself to Xion. When she realized she was being stuck in place, she gave a yelp, trying to stand back up – only for the slime to remain firm, pasting her to the booth without any chance of her leaving.

"Oh, don't worry," Nergal told her. "It will dissolve when I tell it to. But for now, this is for your own good."

"Why?" Xion asked as she struggled.

"'Cause the Nerg-man said you figured out you had a mutation last night," Fred said. "Said you were real broken up about it."

"Oh, gee, I WONDER what it's like to be regarded as a monster by society and be treated like a social outcast because of it!" Pietro rolled his eyes "It's not like any of us has any idea!"

"We're here for you," Wanda said quite seriously. "Believe me, I know all about mutant powers no one would ever want."

"So, spill!" Todd urged. "What's the mutation?"

Xion glowered. "This could've been done without sticking me to the chair."

"Oh, but you were in such a tizzy that you might've run away," Nergal protested. "The only way I could ENSURE you made friends is to make sure you weren't able to leave the situation!"

"Your dad's weird," Lance said, "but he cares, right? We wouldn't even bother if he weren't so cool about giving us cheap pizza." He winked.

Somehow Xion knew that the pizza had very little to do with it. He'd become one of the few allies the Brotherhood had in this city, so they owed him one. And because they respected him, they actually put in the effort to square it away.

"Mutation now please," Pietro urged.

"I don't really know how to explain it," Xion admitted. "I woke up in the middle of the night after a nightmare. I think it was some of my old memories coming back, but I can't make sense out of them. When I woke up, I was covered in armor, like a second skin."

"Wait." Wanda put up a hand. "Old memories? You…lost yours?"

"I'm an amnesiac," Xion explained. "I don't remember anything from before Nergal found me and started me working here."

"That's awful," Wanda said. "Believe me…not knowing what about your past is truth or lies is one of the most horrible feelings you can have."

Xion cocked her head; "Did something like that happen to you?"

Wanda nodded. "My memories of the awful truth were replaced with a fake past where I remembered my father being the loving person he never was. I'm still trying to figure out what was real. The point is…it really hurts."

Xion nodded. "But…at least I have Nergal and Sis and Junior. That's something."

"You have no idea," Todd replied. "Wish I still had a family. As it stands, I'm that one orphan nobody wants ever."

"Why not?" Xion asked.

"Beats me," Todd said as he began to dig around in one nostril with a little finger. "I'm a charmer!"

"Tell us more about your monster armor!" Fred urged. "Does it make you super strong? I bet you're not stronger than me!"

"I didn't really…test it out," Xion admitted. "If it comes back, maybe I should. I can figure out if there's anything good about it."

"I'm unbreakable!" Fred told her. "It's the best!"

"There's something else," Xion related. "I have some kind of sense that allows me to feel a…heartbeat. In the entire planet. It's faint now, but when I had the armor, it was stronger."

"Weiiiiird!" Lance laughed. "That's like some ghost-hunter stuff!"

"You sure you didn't just feel Lance shaking the foundations of the kingdom because he was trying to get that last Rocket Soda out of the vending machine?" Pietro teased.

"No, it was definitely more of a heartbeat," Xion replied, dead serious. "It really scared me. I think that form might've been a way I hurt someone in the past."

"Oh, man," Pietro replied. "Everybody at this table who hurt somebody they didn't actually mean to because of your mutation, put up a hand."

Five hands went up.

"Now," Pietro said with a grin, "OTHER hand for everyone who used your mutation to give somebody what they deserved!"

Now ten hands.

"I'm afraid," Xion went on. "Someone, somewhere, didn't like what I was. Junior said he has to hide his own form from other people. What happens if I get that shell again in public? People will hate me."

A chorus of harmonic "Been there" resounded.

"That's when you just tune out the haters," Todd suggested. "Seriously."

"And you punch their face in if they laugh at you!" Fred urged.

"Non-mutants just don't get it." Lance shook his head. "We're the ones with the cool superpowers, and they think THEY'RE better than us? No way! If you're one of us, that means YOU'RE better than THEM!"

"I could've said it better myself," Pietro teased. "Just didn't want to. Anyway, Ninny, the people who hate mutants are usually bores and stiffs and authority types. Not the people you want for friends."

"What if I can't control it?" Xion asked. "I have no idea how it works or why it happened."

"I had trouble controlling my own powers," Wanda reminded her. "There are ways. I could even teach you some of the things that worked for me. Maybe your powers are similar enough to mine that it'd work."

"Really?" Xion beamed. "I think that's all of the worries I had. I don't actually have anything to really be afraid of, do I?"

"No!"

"'Course not!"

"Yes, but dwelling on it won't help."

"Nopenopenope."

"Nahhhhh."

Xion felt much lighter already. Then she gasped; "I'm so sorry! I've been so caught up in all this that I haven't been asking you about yourselves."

"Dude," Lance told her. "Manners are overrated."

"You're one of the Brotherhood now," Pietro told her. "Temporarily and on a part-time basis, anyway. When we wanna talk, we just TALK."

"And when we wanna eat pizza," Fred said as he gathered two slices at once, "we just eat it!" He gave Xion a meaningful glance.

"Oh!" She reached out to take a slice of her own.

"Boy, you really are pure." Todd shook his head. "We gotta teach you how to do things the Brotherhood way. You'll be happier; trust me!"

She was already very happy. "I want to know more about your friendship," she said. "How did you all meet?"

They all began to speak at once:

"Oh, man, that is a STORY – "

"HA! That's a throwback!"

"Youwannaknowaboutmyhistorywiththeselosers?"

"Hey, that's a good story!"

"I never asked for this. I'm just here now."

Eventually, they settled into a coherent way of relating the tale of how the Brotherhood had come to be, one by one. Todd being scouted by the leader of another (more polite) sanctuary for mutants and ultimately bailing. Lance being singled out to join him by a chessmaster. Pietro transferring into their school. Fred's life as a sideshow act before he'd been rounded up. Wanda not having clear memories of it, but knowing from Pietro's recollections that she'd been retrieved from an asylum and thrown into the mix to make them stronger as a team.

As they continued to reminisce, Xion realized that their story had ups and downs. There were points at which they all hated each other, and others at which they all loved each other, and others at which there was both love and hate on the table. Sometimes they betrayed one another, and sometimes they lied, and sometimes they hurt each other. Yet at the end of the day, here they all were, putting their bond as a group above their disagreements of the past.

Maybe if somebody had once hated her for being a monster, that could be fixed. That person could accept her, and she could learn how to operate around that person, whoever it was (or maybe there was more than one), without hurting them.

At any rate, it definitely sounded as though the connecting factor that had brought them to one another was their array of mutations. If they hadn't been "monsters," they wouldn't have become a group. She realized, once it became apparent that Lance and Pietro were together but also Todd and Fred, that they'd even found love thanks to their oddities.

Being a monster wasn't such a bad thing through that lens.

...

Lionel Island had a small outpost on its grassy shores. Vendors quite obviously well-acquainted with the Van Eltia operated out of tents. Everyone onboard got a brief shore leave, able to browse the merchants' wares or rest on the grass, while Eizen, Aifread, and Benwick attempted to strategize for the mystery ship.

"It's aggressive," Eizen noted. "We'll need to defend as well as attack."

"But strike hard and fast," Aifread said with a nod.

"You know what I'm about to suggest." Benwick's eyes twinkled. "What about building a Dream Eater or two?"

Eizen sighed. "You can't solve every problem by building a new Dream Eater."

"But sometimes, it doesn't hurt," Aifread added. "Tell us what you're thinking."

"I don't know which one, yet," Benwick mused. "It depends on what pieces they have here on the outpost. And what kind of strategy we're going for."

"What're you talking about?" Atakk tottered up to the group, holding onto his golden helmet to keep it from slipping off his head.

"Dream Eaters," Eizen explained. "Special creatures that can be forged from magic materials, like alchemy. They can lend us skills."

"And then be recycled into the environment as easily as they were created," Aifread added.

"OR REHOMED," Benwick asserted.

"What kind of creature would be able to stop that big, scary ship?" Atakk asked.

"That's what we've got to determine," Aifread stated. "Different Dream Eaters have different strengths and weaknesses, and in combination, they have even more abilities. We need to figure out the types that will give us the advantage. Not only that, but assess the abilities of the crew already on board to see what we can do without a Dream Eater."

"Ifurita, Cedric, Magilou, and Laphicet all seem to have powerful Artes," Eizen remarked. "We could potentially mobilize them into a defense force."

While this conversation went on closer to the waters, the usual squad of Harley, Yang, Giovanni, and Velvet found themselves drifting.

"I mean, it's a big island, right?" Harley posed. "Stands to reason one of our pals is here."

"It's worth exploring," Velvet affirmed. "I know my way around the Baird Marsh, down to the shortcuts. We can make short work of looking it over."

"Then what are we waiting for?" Giovanni urged.

"I'd rather poke around the Baird marsh than stay here and die of Baird-om," Yang teased.

This sent Harley into a gigglefit.

"This way." Velvet strode down a path that led through a cleft rock; the other three followed.

Baird Marsh was an expanse of raised grassy mesas that formed stable footing in otherwise swampy waters. Velvet inhaled a deep breath and sighed it out; just as she remembered seeing it in the waking world, she'd arrived at dusk, when the clouds were tinted gold and the sky shaded lavender.

"Let's go," she urged, hopping from one plateau to another.

"Whoooaaaa." Giovanni pointed out a virulent-green crystal situated above the grass. "Can you imagine how much cred we'd get if we took that thing and pretended we stole it from a high-profile rich dude?"

"Does it count if we lie, though?" Yang asked.

"We're the bad guys!" Giovanni reminded her. "It counts DOUBLE if we lie!"

"I wouldn't touch it," Velvet warned. "Those crystals are situated here to control energy barriers that block off certain paths. Take one away and you might seal a road permanently."

"Why would anyone design somethin' like that for some swamp?" Harley asked.

"You know, I never asked," Velvet realized. "I assumed at the time that it was an Abbey technology, used to safeguard what they were hiding on this island. But it's pretty sophisticated, even for them. I almost wonder if it was a system used by the people who populated this island before Innominat and the Empyreans reshaped the world, its previous incarnation before the world I knew. Maybe the Abbey just unearthed the old crystals and put them to work." She shook her head, smiling softly. "I'm starting to sound like Eizen."

"Actually," Harley pointed out, "what I'm hearin' is that we shoulda let Entrapta in on this. We'll just hafta tell her when we get back."

The barriers themselves cropped up every now and again: enormous translucent walls of shifting light, solid as stone, shining red or yellow or green or blue. Eventually, the group came to the point where they found a barrier with someone behind it.

At first, they walked right past her, not noticing. It was only when they heard the distinct tapping and the call of "Hey! Hello? Can you guys help me?" that they realized they weren't alone in the marsh.

She'd gotten herself trapped behind a wall of blue magic. A tall, thickset woman bearing a white mohawk of hair, she was dressed in red armor. At first, it seemed like she was just wearing stylized gauntlets, but the way she was clicking the arachnid claws indicated that they were no decorative pieces but rather her actual hands. Equally as biological was the red scorpion tail that protruded from her lower back, flicking behind her and curling nervously. She raised a claw to tap on the barrier again, her face quite sheepish.

"It's just that crystal over there," she explained, using her tail to point behind the quartet. "Just give that thing a tap and it should switch the barrier out. Sorry to be a bother."

"How did you end up sealed behind a barrier on the other side of where the activation crystal is?" Velvet asked, dumbfounded.

"Oh, man, that is a STORY," the woman laughed nervously. "That…took some hidden talent even I didn't know I had." She cleared her throat. "Look, I'm REALLY sorry to waste your time, but I just need to get back to my friend, so if you could let me out – "

"No waste at all!" Harley skipped over to the blue crystal, laying a hand on it. At the touch of her heat, it shifted to red, and Harley could even see a faint symbol inscribed on its center shifting as well. The sigil of the water Empyrean becoming that of the fire Empyrean.

The blue barrier dissolved. A red one put itself up elsewhere on the plateau. "Thanks!" the woman said, wiping her brow with a claw, as she stepped forth. "Thought for a second I was in some real trouble there."

"Cool claws!" Giovanni told her. "And does that tail actually have venom, or is it just for show?"

"It's not deadly!" the woman said quickly. "Don't worry! It just disorients. Accidents can and do happen, but they aren't fatal."

"So I get the feelin' you might be somebody we're lookin' for," Harley said. "In fact, I was sure I remembered a scorpion lady on our list…one who had a real appropriate name for it, too…"

"Well, my name is Scorpia," the woman said cheerfully.

Harley snapped her fingers; "THAT was it! We're here to rescue you from the dream, Scorpia!"

"Lemme guess," Yang said with a wave of her hand. "Goth girl threw you into a vortex, and now you're here?"
"Yeah." Scorpia put a claw behind her head. "Pretty much. You guys too?"

"Yep yep!" Harley nodded.

"It is a REALLY good thing I ran into you, then," Scorpia sighed. "Strength in numbers and everything. Now all I have to do is find my friend and her pet and we'll be good to go!"

"Did your friend fall into the same vortex as you?" Velvet asked. "Are you sure she arrived on this island?"

"Oh, I know she's here," Scorpia said, her expression falling. "She, uh…she kinda stormed off all mad so she could be alone. I hope it wasn't anything I said. I also REALLY hope she's okay. The thing is, she just went through a REALLY bad breakup back home, and she was already kinda sulky about it by the time the vortex lady showed up." Scorpia thought it over. "Vortexia?"

"Cyclonis," Harley corrected.

Scorpia nodded; "That makes sense. Cyclone, vortex, they're related. Anyway, she was already in a bad mood, and then we got thrown into this world, and I guess that was the last straw. She just gave up on safety in numbers and…stormed off. Which admittedly isn't out of character. She's a person with a lot of emotions, which is kinda her charm. I just…really wish I could help her work through those emotions, you know? She's important to me. Really, really important to me. I wish I could just…fix it all. Make her ex like her again." She slumped. "Buuuut I can't. I can lift heavy things and lead a battalion into war, but I can't do ANYTHING about this. So my friend just…has to suffer, and I'm not okay with that."

Harley raised a brow. "This 'friend.' Kinda sounds like you want her to be a little more than a friend."

"I – " Scorpia blushed brightly. "Look, how I feel about her is complicated, and it's not relevant here, okay? I wanted her to be able to get with the girl she liked. I STILL wish there was a way to get them back together, because that's what would make her happy. It's just that…she's one of the most special people I've ever met. She's strong, and confident, and expressive, and fun-loving, and a risk-taker…she just deserves to be happy. So I need to find her and…do what I can to help with that."

"You are TOTALLY crushing," Yang laughed.

"It's altruistic of you to say you'd rather her be with the one she loves," Velvet added. "But be careful with that altruism. If you repress your own feelings because of it, you'll all end up hurt."

"And it sounds like the other girlfriend is out of the picture, right?" Giovanni offered. "Not that I'm saying you should take advantage of the breakup, but I'm just saying it's not off the table anymore."

"Look, can we not focus on how I feel about her?" Scorpia urged. "I need to FIND her. And then we can all get off this island together."

"Good call," Yang said with a nod. "If you want, you can tell us more about her on the way. Purely platonically speaking." She winked.

On the hike to the center of Baird Marsh, Scorpia did exactly that, telling story after story about her friend's misadventures – from nearly destroying the world to saving it. From her lies and manipulations to her sacrifices and noble deeds. Truly, the person they were looking for was a complex character.

They spotted her from afar; she was sitting in a small copse of white flowers, turned away from them. They could see already her slight frame, the tan-orange of her skin, the short-cropped chestnut hair, the tail that wrapped forlornly around her as she hugged her own knees.

Scorpia drew breath to call out, but Harley put up a hand to stop her. "Not yet," she whispered. "I kinda wanna see if I can get through to her first. I am a psychologist, after all. An' if she sees you an' just runs again…"

"Gotcha," Scorpia said with a nod.

The others let Harley proceed alone. Now Harley noticed the other entity in the wildflower patch: a deep-burgundy catlike creature, with the proportions of a jaguar, fluid blue energy flowing off its neck and hindquarters to form mane and tail. Their eyes were luminous blue to match. They paced around the young woman, trying to nudge her with their nose, giving her face a lick. This must have been the "pet," though its actions looked to have a much more human decisiveness to them than Scorpia had indicated.

The creature flinched at the sight of Harley, but then backed away slowly, perceiving a friend. Harley simply softly sat down in the flowers beside the other young woman, looking out over the marsh waters studded with rocky crags and the dusky clouds overhead.

"Hey," Harley greeted.

"Hey." The other's voice was low, raspy. Dejected.

"Pretty out here, ain't it?" Harley prompted.

"I guess," the other sighed.

Harley peered around to see her eyes – one blue, one yellow, both with slitted pupils. "You're havin' a day, ain't ya?"

"That's putting it mildly."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Not with a complete stranger."

"Well, I ain't a COMPLETE stranger," Harley clarified. "I ran into your pal Scorpia on the way here. She's real worried about ya. But I get why ya wouldn't wanna deal with her right now. She ain't objective, and I am that."

The other grunted.

"She said your name was Catra," Harley went on. "You sure look like a Catra to me."

"Spot on," Catra grunted.

"Now, just comin' in from the outside," Harley stated, "I dunno much about you or your friendships or your situation, but seein' that you an' Scorpia got chucked into a dream-world, an' she's your only friend here – "

"I have Melog."

To that, the jaguar nudged Harley in the shoulder.

"Sorry, Melog," Harley apologized. "But when ya got two friends, and ya only take the one with ya an' run off to some real unfamiliar-lookin' place…that don't seem like real common sense to me."

Catra let go of her knees so she could stretch her legs outward, placing her hands behind her on the ground for support. "I'm gonna be honest. I just wanted some kind of way out anyway. And this showed up. Scorpia…I know I'm gonna have to deal with, but I just wanted to not talk about things back home for a while. See if I could forget about it."

"But didja?"

"…No," Catra grunted. "I can't."

"So runnin' away from your pal didn't solve the problem."

"I GET it!" Catra's sudden anger made Harley flinch. "I shouldn't have abandoned Scorpia. I'm a failure and a bad friend and that's all I'll ever BE! You think I don't KNOW that by now?"
She held up a hand toward Harley, curling the fingers. Harley could see black claws jutting from each digit.

"Well, I got news for ya," Harley told her. "If you were such a 'bad friend,' then Scorpia wouldn't'a cared, an' Melog wouldn't be here tryin'a cheer you up. There's two people think ya did somethin' right."

Catra relaxed, putting her hand back down. "Well, they shouldn't. That's their mistake. Getting mixed up with me."

"Catra," Harley asked softly. "Did your girl make you feel like you were nothin', or not worth it?"
Catra turned away to look back at the horizon. "No. She made it clear that I could be better if I really wanted to."

"You think it was somethin' you did?"

"I think it's something I am."

"Well, since the problem ain't goin' away if ya run, why not talk about it?"

Catra heaved a sigh. "She was supposed to be my happily ever after. I was in love with her from when we were little kids. It was part of why I thought I hated her so much when we…well, we ended up on different paths in life. And we fought each other. A lot. I always got a sick satisfaction out of it, and I thought I just wanted to make her pay for abandoning me. But in the end…I just wanted any excuse to be close. Even if that excuse was…finally getting rid of her. I wised up, in the end. I realized this whole time, she'd been on the right path, and I'd been on the wrong one. It took a hard betrayal from another friend to show me that everything I blamed her for was something I brought on myself. So I stood with her. And we saved the world. And it turned out she loved me, too. That was supposed to be how it ended. We were going to grow up together in Bright Moon, attend Princess Proms, do all that gushy stuff."

"So what happened?"

"Just…" Catra sighed yet again. "I thought she understood what kind of friend I was. Back when we grew up together in the Fright Zone, she got it. I liked dumb pranks. I liked sneaking out. I liked having fun instead of focusing too hard on my work. That never used to be a problem with her. I mean, she complained, but it wasn't a PROBLEM-problem. Only now, she's…she's all serious. More than she ever was. She wants to focus on her responsibilities with the other princesses. To keep Etheria turning the way it should be. She's into politics now, and First Ones tech, and history. Anytime I'd try to get her to loosen up and have some fun, I'd get yelled at. I guess I didn't pick the best outlets. I'd try to get her to ditch diplomatic events to hang out with me. To try out a little danger for the heck of it. Because that's what I am. And she's…she's just not. So she told me it wasn't working out. I know it hurt her too. She was crying. And she said she wanted to stay friends, but…"

Catra suddenly tore a clawed hand through the flowers, scattering their white petals. "How COULD she? After EVERYTHING we went through together? After EVERYTHING I tried to change about myself to be good for her! And it wasn't enough? I was there for her for YEARS! She was supposed to be there for me! I admitted I was wrong to stay behind when she left our home, but now that all this is happening, I'm angry all over again that she just LEFT! It's like she doesn't even try! And she says I'm not the one who's trying!"

"Huh," Harley broke in. "Mind if I guess at what's goin' on here?"

Catra glared at her. "Go ahead," she urged.

"It don't sound like she's all that bad," Harley noted. "She's got a lot on her plate, an' some people are goody-goodies like that. It don't sound like you're all that bad, either. You were just tryin'a get her to loosen up! Who wouldn't want that? Well, obviously, her…but what it really sounds like is just that you two ain't a match. Nobody's the bad guy. You two just don't go. You gotta have somebody more fun! Less about the rules! And she sounds like she needs somebody…uh…well, boring."

"I HATE that!" Catra yelled. "If I did everything right, how don't I have what I want?"

"That's the question we've all been askin' ourselves. Part of the reason so many of us turn to bein' the bad guy. If it don't matter how good we are, why not just be bad?" She shifted position, giving Catra a smile. "If she didn't exist, what would you want outta life?"

"I dunno." Catra shrugged. "I grew up being taught how to fight for an army. That wasn't fun. Beyond that…I don't even know what I want."

"Well, I keep hearin' about fun. I think that's somethin'. You wanna have a good time! And from the sounds of it, boy, could you sure use one."

"You know what drove us apart at first?" Catra asked softly. "I wanted to go outside the Fright Zone on a joyride. I had to wear her down to get her to agree to it. Then that's where she found the stupid sword that changed everything, and…" She didn't finish.

"Okay!" Harley chirped. "So that's a starting point! You gotta have somebody who'll agree right away to – " She then stopped herself. "No. Forget that. You just gotta figure out how to get that joyride, with or without somebody else. You want that rush, that adventure! An' that's more important than any girl. No matter how much of a feisty blonde."

"How'd you know she was blonde?"

"I just guessed. Me an' my gal, we're proof that a lotta people are weak for blondes."

That actually got a slight chuckle out of Catra, but only very slight. "So. Does your girlfriend actually like fun?"

"You betcha."

"Lucky."

"I know."

Melog planted himself in front of the two, giving them an insistent look.

"I dunno Scorpia that well," Harley said, "but I know she likes ya a whole lot. Ugly parts an' all. She couldn't shut up about ya the whole way here. She's a real true friend to ya."

"Way more than she should be, after what I did to her."

"Then there ya go! But she's real worried about ya. Ya gotta get off this island, Catra, an' ya gotta figure out how ta move on. I think the first step to that is teamin' back up with a pal who likes who you really are."

"But what if I hurt her?" Catra asked.

"Then ya say you're sorry," Harley replied. She rose up, extending a hand down. "Ready to get goin'?"

Catra scowled, then got up without taking the assistance. "Yeah. I guess."

She, Harley, and Melog walked softly back across the grass to where Scorpia, Giovanni, Yang, and Velvet waited.

"You work it out?" Velvet asked. "Because to be honest, you're holding up the entire expedition."

"Hey!" Harley snapped. "Catra's havin' a rough time right now, an' I don't think tellin' her what she did wrong is gonna make things any better! One a' you gotta say somethin' about what she's doin' RIGHT!"

"This is embarrassing!" Catra hissed.

"You have a kickass aesthetic," Giovanni told her. "Also, apparently you almost got your planet swallowed by a portal once. That is SO high-level villainy."

"Heheh…yeah." Catra flushed. "Not exactly something I wanna do again."

"Catra," Scorpia urged. "I know I came on too strong when you were breaking down, but I'm sorry, and if there's anything I can do to help – "

"No." Catra glanced down at the grass. "I'm sorry. I ran away. I shouldn't've done that. You were just trying to help, and honestly…you're the real friend I need around here."

A nudge at her hand reminded her; "You too, Melog."

"So, uh, what even is this place?" Scorpia asked.

"Long story," Harley replied. "Good thing we got a long way back to figure it out!"

Giovanni gestured back the way they'd come; "Lead the way, Hurting Hand!"

Velvet unmistakably grinned as she began the trek with the others in tow.

When they arrived on the coast, they were greeted by an excited Entrapta running toward them; "YOU GUYS! Where'd you go? We've been working on our strategy for that ship, and you four are the EXACT vanguard we need to – "

She cut herself off with a gasp, gaping at the newcomers.

"Look what we found!" Yang declared, not yet knowing the significance. Thinking Entrapta was only entranced by the fact that new people had joined.

Catra froze, her hairs jolting on end.

"…Catra?" Entrapta said softly. "Scorpia?"

"Hey!" Scorpia put up a claw and waved it. "Good to see you, Entrapta! Also, Melog's here. Don't forget about them!"

Entrapta's eyes glittered yet again. "Oh, BOY, am I glad to see you two too! I was just thinking about how you would be great for our sort-of-evil team, actually. In fact – "

"Wait!" Catra cried. "You're GLAD to see us? After EVERYTHING?"

"Well, yeah," Entrapta told her. "I mean, we got it all worked out after the defeat of Prime, right? Though, come to think of it, I'm not sure you got things personally worked out with Hordak, which might be the source of the disconnect."

Before anyone could stop her, she whirled and called out, "HEY! HORDAK!"

"NO!" Catra screamed.

Hordak walked briskly toward the assembled group. "What is it – "

He stopped with a gasp as he beheld Catra.

"H…heyyyy, Hordak," Catra said nervously. "So, we, uh…apparently need to talk about a few things."

Hordak's eyes narrowed. "I should say we do."

"Look, I'm SORRY, okay?" Catra babbled. "I'm sorry I tricked you, and I'm sorry I made you think Entrapta betrayed and hated you. The one thing I would never, EVER want is for somebody to ruin the few friendships I have, and I was out of line! I'm sorry I used you, and I'm sorry I basically tried to run the Fright Zone, and I – "

"Catra," Hordak said sternly.

"I KNOW you can't forgive me!" She was crying now. "But everything I did to you was wrong, and I can admit that now! You probably just want me to stay out of your life, and that's fine by me!"

He reached out. She flinched. Then Hordak gently settled his hand atop her head.

"I should be the one apologizing to you," he stated. "Everything you did to me…I deserved. And I know all too well what it's like to be treated as the outsider, the weakling. To want to rise to the top and prove your superior wrong. I regret many things I have done, but perhaps most of all not recognizing what I saw of myself in you. I would gladly stand aside from your life so you may recover from all I put you through."

"AaaAAAAA!" Entrapta squealed. "THIS IS SUCH A TOUCHING MOMENT!"

"You're serious?" Catra asked. "You can't be serious."

"I am," Hordak informed her. "Prime made me aware of…many things regarding my priorities."

"Maybe we could all just…start over," Scorpia suggested. "I mean, we're kind of a bunch of sorta-villains who like to have fun by breaking the rules, and we're all looking for a place to fit in now, so maybe we should just…figure it out together?"

Hordak raised a brow, removing his hand from Catra. "I had thought Catra's place was in Bright Moon."

"Not anymore," Catra grumbled. "Turns out Adora and I don't work. And probably never did."

"Oh." Hordak's tone was suddenly sympathetic. "I…regret that was the outcome."

"Though I'm not really surprised, honestly," Entrapta commented.

"What?" Catra growled at her.

"That's a good thing!" Entrapta urged. "You can go get somebody who can keep up with you now! Somebody who won't be checking the funds of your kingdom to make sure you're not allocating any taxes toward highly unethical experiments!"

Catra gave Entrapta a sour look. "That's a you problem. Not a me problem."

"But you get what I mean, right?" Entrapta urged.

"Yeah," Catra relented. "I do. And you're right. Maybe you can even give me some tips…seeing as how you bagged Hordak."

"OH, for the LAST TIME!" Entrapta threw her hands in the air. "We're NOT DATING!"

Hordak shook his head to confirm. "We are friends. That is all."

"And everyone needs a friend!" Scorpia assured. "So…whaddaya say? Super Pal Trio, except now it's Super Pal Quintet with Melog and Hordak?"

"And Wrong Hordak, and Imp and Emily," Entrapta broke in. "So…Super Pal Octet."

"Awww, I've missed this!" Scorpia tapped her claws together.

"Giovanni?" Yang noticed. "Are you – "

"NO I'M NOT!" Giovanni yelled, already knowing what she was going to ask, given the intense tear stream flowing from his eyes. "BUT YOU HAVE TO ADMIT THIS IS BEAUTIFUL!"

"It is," Yang said with a smile. Then with a pang in her heart, because as much as she was growing to love the Heathens, she was still far, far away from her own team. She'd been thinking, on these many voyages, who might get along with who. Certainly, Weiss and Jinnai could debate who was more entitled. Ruby and Giovanni were a no-brainer. And Blake…

Insofar as she even wanted to consider Blake, her best guess was Eizen. Bookworms and all.

"Now come ON!" Entrapta yelled. "We gotta finish off this strategy meeting!"

Giovanni wiped away his tears, making a quick change to ebullience; "Did somebody say I was needed for…A VANGUARD?"

"That is EXACTLY what I said!" Entrapta confirmed. "Now let's GO GO GO!"

She turned and bolted back to where the Heathens and the crew of the Van Eltia had assembled in conference, waiting for their scouts to return so they could detail the plan.

...

Long ago, in a distant land, Aku, the shapeshifting master of Darkness, unleashed an unspeakable evil. But a samurai warrior wielding a magic sword stepped forth to oppose him. Before the final blow was struck, Aku tore open a portal in time and flung him into the future, where Aku's evil was law. Then, the samurai sought to return to the past and undo the future that is Aku.

Fifty years had passed, but the samurai did not age. Time had lost its effect on him, yet the suffering continued. Aku's grasp choked the past, present, and future. Hope was lost. The samurai's only mantra: "Gotta get back, back to the past."

But he never did, in this reality.

In the reality spoken of up to this point, he would have. As the demon's daughter gave her all to destroy him, driven by an infection that rewired her very mind to receive only Aku's commands, he confessed to her his love, and by that deed was able to break through, allow her to become a person with a mind of her own once more. Together, they returned to the past and slayed Aku, and thus were Aku, his daughter, and his entire history cut from the very fabric of reality.

Here, however, declarations of true love were not enough to break through. The demon's daughter held the samurai down to the floor, choking the life from him, watching him slowly lose color as he gasped.

"Ashi…" he sputtered. "If…this is the end, then I…I only wish you could become yourself again – "

She cut him off with a final choke. His neck splintered.

Aku's place in history was forever secured.

However, despite the necessity of Aku's existence to Mozenrath's current plan, and the fact that he was currently roaming Aku's homeworld, he had no desire to get anywhere near the tower of Aku. (Not yet, anyway.) Instead, he led Tala, Shego, and Dr. Octopus through a thickly vegetated forest, filled with plants of all sorts of vibrant colors and odd shapes.

They'd come here on a tip from a nearby bar. The bartender had claimed to be a samurai himself, though judging by all the trendy neon-colored clothing he wore, it was nothing more than a boast. All Mozenrath had needed to do was ask about a particular entity, and he was pointed this direction straightaway.

"Explain to me," Tala bade him. "The demon we chase is a friend of the goddess of magic and the spider queen. Why do you not bring them on this excursion?"

"Because I want to see the looks on their faces when I show them that I brought back their friend," Mozenrath explained, "and they utterly failed to, even with all of their resources."

"Sooooo…a surprise gift, then," Shego figured.

"It is NOT a surprise gift," Mozenrath grumbled. "The point is, when I turn up with their old colleague tied up all pretty with a bow, they'll be nothing short of enraged that I succeeded where they failed."

"Yeah, no, this is a surprise gift," Shego said. "They'll just be happy because they thought it was impossible. How…how do you not see this is a gift?"

"BECAUSE IT ISN'T ONE!" Mozenrath yelled.

"Hmm." Octopus smirked. "Perhaps this denial is intentional. He knows quite well that he is doing something selfless, but all deities forbid that he have such a white mark on his black reputation."

"Ohhhh, you're right!" Shego realized. "This is totally a cover! You KNOW you're doing something nice, and you're trying to play dumb so you don't have to admit to anyone that you're doing something nice on purpose!"

"I AM NOT DOING ANYTHING NICE!" Mozenrath yelled. "I'M EXPANDING OUR RANKS WITH A PEERLESS WARRIOR AND, IN DOING SO, THROWING MY SUCCESS IN THE FACES OF HIS ALTERNATE-UNIVERSE COLLEAGUES!"

"Oh, yeah, I see it now." Shego grinned. "Whenever Dr. D. broke into the yelling, that's when you knew it was just a denial."

"In future, you will remember that I can see the truth where it hides," Octopus reminded her. "Nothing escapes my eye."

"But can you say the same thing about your arms?" Shego taunted. "Look, I never needed to be the brains of the operation. I'm the muscle. How much muscle do YOU have?"

Octopus scowled. "My arms can make up the difference for any physical…shortcomings."

"Perhaps what Shego is saying is that this is why you two complement one another," Tala brought up. "Otto's brain makes up for Shego, and Shego's prowess in battle makes up for Otto. In essence, you are two halves of one whole."

"Do you have to make EVERYTHING sound lewd?" Shego snapped.

Tala grinned playfully. "I said what I observed and stated it neutrally. If you gained anything salacious from it…that is your problem and not mine."

"You know exactly what you are doing," Octopus grumbled. "Stop it now."

"What ARE you doing, Tala?" Mozenrath groaned.

"She's implying we're a THING!" Shego snapped.

"Noooooo," Tala corrected. "If I am implying anything, it is that you should be a 'thing.' Not that you already are."

"Permission to jettison Tala from this mission?" Octopus grumbled.

"Request seconded," Shego said.

"Denied," Mozenrath sighed. "And my vote is worth quintuple."

"That's – " Shego sputtered. "That's more votes than we have team members! This isn't a democracy; you just pick what we want to do and we have to follow it!"

"That's…how this has always worked," Mozenrath told her. "I'm not sure where you lost the memo."

Tala suddenly threw out her hands to either side; "SHHHHH!"

All fell silent, senses of hearing craning to hear what it was that Tala had picked up. After a long stint of nothingness, Shego said, "There's nothing th – "

Tala whipped around suddenly, shooting a burst of magic into the forest and felling several trees.

"Was that truly necessary?" Octopus grunted.

Mozenrath just gaped, and at first, Shego and Octopus thought he was stunned by Tala's random act of violence. Then they both noticed the slim, dark figure floating in midair where she'd cleared out the foliage.

Thin as a rail, wrapped in dark fabric, with a red collar sprouting up around his head. That head boasted skin of absolute black, eyes of piercing blue, and an aura that served in place of hair, a blue fount of energy that bubbled up. It might put one in mind of Hades' flames, but this seemed more fluid, as though water had decided to act like fire.

"Ahhhhh!" the figure said in a lilting falsetto. "A good first impression, indeed!"

Tala relaxed; "I believe I have found the one we are looking for."

"Good." Mozenrath stomped to the forefront of the group. He folded his arms, looking up at the entity that floated before him. "You must be Demongo the Soul Collector."

The entity, Demongo, gave an ear-to-ear smile (despite his lack of obvious ears) that showed even more electric blue on the inside of his mouth. "My reputation precedes me! Although I am afraid the same does not hold for you. Perhaps because your deeds in and of themselves are lacking in comparison."

"Oh, I have no doubt the me of this reality is some sniveling weakling," Mozenrath snorted. "But I'm not from around here, and I don't even mean I'm off-world. Don't count me out until you know the REAL me, the one and only."

"And who is that 'real you'?" Demongo asked, tilting his head.

"I am Mozenrath." He bowed, making it as grandiose as ever. "Leader of an inter-world syndicate of conquerors bent on bringing the worlds of my reality to heel and showing them the beauty of the Dark Side. And hopefully picking up as much magic as I can conceivably store along the way. I have with me the sorceress Tala, renowned scientist Dr. Octopus, and supervillain bodyguard Shego. We've come to recruit you to our cause."

"And why should I join you?" Demongo asked.

"To put it shortly," Mozenrath said, "you've been slighted. And that's putting it mildly. After one mishap fifty years ago – in which you were clearly sent into a situation unprepared – your very soul was crushed and needed to rebuild itself from the ground up. Now, there's no love lost between you and your former boss, Aku, but still you have to live in his reality. That has to sting. I'm offering you, first and foremost, a reality with no Aku in it. Second, a means of taking what he currently has. See, because Aku was destroyed in the ancient history of my reality, that means there's no you anymore. My reality is missing one Demongo, and you are missing a reality without Aku. I'd say the pieces fit."

"So what you are saying," Demongo reiterated, "is that I have every right to be dismayed with Aku's treatment of me, and I am quite obviously suffering for it? And that we should join forces?"

Shego leaned over to Mozenrath, hissing in his ear, "This is a trap…"

"I know what I'm doing," he hissed right back. He cleared his throat, speaking at full volume once more; "Have I not correctly assessed the situation?"

"Oh, no, you are of course very correct!" Demongo said slyly. "After all, a reality with no Aku is my greatest desire. I wish him to suffer every kan of pain he caused to me, but tenfold. Of course…if he already does not exist, then he cannot do so, can he?"

"Are you suggesting an alliance to bring down Aku?" Octopus asked.

"Still a trap!" Shego hissed to him.

"Why, I do believe that our forces combined are exactly what is needed to end his reign!" Demongo declared.

Mozenrath thought it over, nodding. "We dethrone the most powerful entity in the multiverse…the spoils go to us…we now own one entire alternate reality in addition to our empire AND have the clout of bringing down the root of all Darkness…I don't see where this could go wrong!"

"I do," Tala stated. "To bring down Aku would not ensure our victory. A quite large power vacuum would be created, and likely a host of feudal lords champing at the bit to claim the territory that has been liberated. Suppressed civilizations will take their cue to rise. To take his throne would require a battle through a line of succession over fifty years in the making…over hundreds, it seems."

"True, true," Mozenrath realized. "So I'd consider it a 'fixer-upper.' We return here every so often to see what we can reap."

"Like it won't get so confusing jumping between the same worlds in two different realities." Shego rolled her eyes. "Also, I'm still waiting on that fine print."

"I don't see why you have to," Mozenrath told her. He turned back to Demongo; "I think what you're suggesting is more than viable."

"Ah!" Demongo's smile grew almost impossibly wide. "I am glad you see it that way! Then you shall not struggle as I reap your souls!"

Mozenrath flinched; "As you WHAT?"

"Surely you do not believe I would simply defer to the leadership of an upstart?" Demongo chuckled. "It is your power I desire! I shall capture it and use it to destroy Aku, infusing your bodies with my will!"

"WHAT DID I TELL YOU?" Shego shouted.

Mozenrath balled a fist that seared blue; "OVER MY DEAD BODY!"

Demongo's smile widened yet again. "That is sort of the point."

He flung out his wiry arms, causing the black cape he wore to flutter back and revealing its red silk interior. His scrawny body was clothed in a vest made up of human skulls grafted together. With one hand, he reached into the mass of skulls, plucking a single specimen. He twirled a full 360 twice before hurling the skull down at the WHAM ARMY contingent.

When it impacted the ground, it exploded. Where there had once been a skull, there was now a human figure in full-body armor, including a mask that obscured her head. A sword sheathed in blue steel was immediately drawn from her belt, and fast as lightning, she charged Mozenrath.

He barely had enough time to react. His magic shot went wild; one of her armored boots kicked into him, and now she had him down on the ground, sword to his chin.

Demongo knew he couldn't let any of Mozenrath's allies come to his aid. Two of them, the ones who weren't called "sorceress," he could dispose of easily. A pair of skulls went flying through the air, exploding on the ground.

The sorceress would require something a little more potent, however. Already she'd managed to slam an immense wave of energy into the armored woman, sending her tumbling head-over-heels-over blade.

Demongo waved his hands in a circular motion around one another, summoning from an inventory dimension a much larger skull, dome-shaped, obviously inhuman. Then he let it fly so that it hit the ground right between Mozenrath and Tala, the soul within erupting into its physical form.

Shego had thought to advance, but the skull that had landed in front of her had yielded what looked like a Southern belle in the most traditional of gowns, bustle and all, a hat tipped down over her face and barely staying atop a raven coif. The entire ensemble was bright green. The soul-warrior of Demongo smirked at Shego, advancing gracefully on her high heels.

"That is so not your color," Shego scoffed.

The Southern belle responded by withdrawing a parasol from her back, flinging it out forward, and ejecting a middling-size blade from its tip so that she now had a spear. With extreme precision, she lashed out at Shego.

"WHOA!" Shego backflipped to avoid the blade; when the Southern belle kept rushing her at Demongo's whim, Shego danced around the weapon, her hands alight with green. "What is your PROBLEM, lady?"
"Do not ask her!" Demongo chuckled. "She is an extension of me! I am the one who fights you…and my problem is that I am horribly offended you do not think that shade works on one of my warriors!"

The umbrella opened, revealing even more dagger-blades on each of the ribs, and as the Southern belle spun it toward Shego, Shego was once more put on the defensive.

Octopus' opponent seemed to be much less impressive, at first. A scrawny man with ginger hair, clothed in a bright white zoot suit and a matching fedora, carrying only a silver briefcase in his hand.

"What mockery is this?" Octopus sighed, rolling his eyes.

The man, who in life had been a thief by trade, raised the briefcase. From its side protruded a barrel and a red laser sight. Octopus was able to raise himself out of the line of fire just before the thief's weapon could pierce several holes in him.

Octopus' arms telescoped, steering him behind the thief. One claw drew back, ready to strike like a cobra. When it plunged forward, it hit the titanium hardness of the briefcase, expertly slung like a shield. The thief swung the briefcase expertly, forcing Octopus to evade again and again until he could once again try to get the advantage from behind.

Only for the thief to eject a grappling hook from one sleeve, pull himself to the top of a nearby tree, and fire from that much higher vantage point.

Mozenrath and Tala were separated by an immense creature, round and blue and soft-looking. It was teddy-bear-shaped, with a few sprigs of what looked like plant life protruding from its head. Vacant eyes. A silly smile.

Mozenrath broke into a guffaw; "THIS is what the legendary soul collector sends to battle the Lord of the Black Sands and the sorceress of CADMUS?"

At that taunt, the creature's eyes narrowed. Its entire body began to morph and change into something much more lean and mean, much larger, with fur standing on end. That fur was darkening to a deep red.

Before Mozenrath could see the results of the transformation in full, he was broadsided by the armored woman. She slashed at him, and he hastily backed away, throwing spell after spell. It seemed only to be an exercise for her; she slid around his blows, her sharp blade threatening to bite him again and again. Thinking back to Isa, Mozenrath began to play dirty, teleporting around the immediate area to try and get an advantage. But the armored woman was fast, and no sooner did he arrive at a given location than he saw her sword shining in the sunlight as it sliced toward him.

The creature finished transforming, now double the size it had been. Tala stared down a behemoth with wicked red claws and saliva-dripping fangs, jaws pried open in bloodthirsty hunger.

"Feed, my creature!" Demongo cried, and the beast lunged.

Tala shoved an immense wave of energy back at it. It fought through, resisting her spell entirely until one of its massive claws swiped her across the field.

As Shego committed backflip after backflip to avoid the fire from the dual flintlock pistols the Southern belle had now withdrawn, she yelled out, "I'M GETTING REAL SICK OF THIS!"

"My thoughts exactly!" Octopus chased the thief through the upper branches as though he were trying to catch a spider monkey (a metaphor best completed if the spider monkey also has a laser gun). "Our opponents seem nearly tailored to our weaknesses. Perhaps this requires a more lateral approach."

"What, like we switch guys?" Shego called up to him. "Because I'm down for that!"

"We trade on three!" Octopus yelled down.

Tala and Mozenrath both heard, waiting for his cue.

"Two!"

Shego's suit was mildly torn by the Southern belle's sword.

Tala was pinned beneath the creature's claw for just long enough that she nearly was bitten in half; she blasted her way out with an immense last-ditch casting.

Mozenrath was punched so hard by the armored woman that he flew back and smacked into a thick tree trunk.

Octopus used an arm to bat away a small, blinking bomb; it skittered off into the forest and detonated in a nearby clearing. With that taken care of, he yelled "ONE!" and promptly dropped out of the trees.

He landed on the Southern belle, pinning her down as two arms ripped away her guns. Another drew back in the cobra motion yet again, and this time, his prey couldn't get away. She was stabbed right through the chest by his metal claw.

With that opening created, Shego soared right into the mouth of the creature, giving a loud, guttural yell as she punched right through its teeth like glass – and then slammed her fist up through the roof of its mouth, into its brain.

Tala, unburdened, whipped an about-face to magically grab the sword of the armored woman, ripping it away from its wielder and turning it around to stab right into the smallest crack of the armor – piercing the armored woman right through the stomach.

Mozenrath teleported into the tree of the thief, grabbing him by the back of the neck and roughly throwing him down to the ground below. Once the thief landed, he aimed his briefcase-gun at Mozenrath, firing a red-hot laser; Mozenrath met it and overpowered it with a burst of blue magic, forcing the entire energy of the blast back down to the one who'd fired it. The thief, hit with the full power of the gun, exploded.

Once all four of the souls that Demongo had summoned were well and truly mortally wounded, they transformed back into skulls in a puff of smoke. Demongo waved a hand to summon them back to him, putting them all away for later use – the souls within could be deployed again after taking time to recuperate.

"Well, well." He smirked quite smugly. "I see I was perhaps mistaken. You may in fact be of more use to me as your own selves than as my puppets. After all, you were able to defeat me in battle! And that is no small feat!" He bowed playfully in midair. "You have earned my respect!"

"WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE OURS!" Mozenrath seethed as he returned to terra firma.

"Moze," Shego snapped. "Let it go. We got the guy. That's what we wanted."

"Are you saying you're going to LET THIS INDIGNITY SLIDE?" Mozenrath practically roared. "Need I remind you WHO CONTROLS MAJORITY VOTE?"

And before another word could be spoken, Demongo was suddenly in front of Mozenrath, clutching his chin in a clawed hand – the nails digging into the skin. "I suppose we could be enemies," Demongo suggested. "But then where would that leave you? After all…I have many, MANY more warriors where those came from."

"Ah," Octopus realized. "Yet again, a façade. The entire attack was a farce to see if we could prove ourselves. If you truly wished us dead…we all would be."

"Saying it right here, right now," Shego stated. "He starts a fight again, I'm NOT sticking around to finish it this time. And no 'majority vote' gets to decide if I stay or go."

"I would agree," Tala huffed. "Mozenrath, if you wish to fight the demon we came all this way to recruit, then by all means, do so. But you will have to take him on alone."

Mozenrath roughly shoved Demongo away. "So you win," he growled venomously. "But I will REMEMBER this offense."

"Good," Demongo said slyly. "I wouldn't hope for anything else. After all, what I seek is the malicious and vicious! Those who are quick to forgive are always too soft, in the end."

"I don't suppose you have a plan for bringing down Aku," Octopus grumbled.

"Not a full strategy," Demongo admitted. "Yet there is a single warrior I have wished to add to my ranks and cannot due to his nature. Perhaps if you help me acquire this warrior, we could gain a distinct advantage indeed."

"You have been chasing this warrior quite a while," Tala realized.

"Since his demise," Demongo confirmed. "I had long heard of his prowess. Then came the day he, too, failed Aku, and was destroyed. A force such as his, in MY hands, would prove fatal to many! Alas, he does not truly have a soul, or at least not one in a form I can extract. He is a creature of steel and circuitry."

"An android," Octopus realized. "A clever trick…developing an operative who the scorned could not use against the master."

"But it sounds like he's got a beef now too," Shego observed.

"Precisely," Demongo confirmed. "Perhaps if he could be restored, then he could be persuaded onto our side for that reason alone. And if not…his kind can always be rewired to be more cooperative. I have all of his fragments, down to the chips and files that made up his mind, and yet the art of assembling machinery remains out of my grasp."

"That is where I come in," Octopus said proudly. "Show me what you have. I can reassemble this wayward assassin very shortly."

"I'll time you," Shego teased. "See if you can beat Dr. D.'s record for fastest time rebuilding a totaled robot."

"I look forward to seeing the margin by which I defeat him," Octopus said smugly.

Mozenrath was skeptical. "How exactly can one robot be the difference between victory and defeat? I've seen plenty of machines, and they all pale in the face of magic."

"That is exactly how Aku designed this assassin to excel!" Demongo's face lit up. "By giving him a body of metal and a mind of precise programming, yet with the ability to wield magic! He channels through his art the ability to alter his surroundings. As a mage, he could rival either of the sorcerers before me!"

"Hold up." Shego raised a hand. "This robot sounds perfect. And here's what I know about perfect robots: they decide to follow whoever they see as the perfect leader. How do we know we're not setting ourselves up for betrayal central by building something that thinks it's better than us?"

"Aku realized the same conundrum," Demongo said. "He altered a prototype chip found in a destroyed model…was it X49?...that would provide emotional reactions to the AI. The assassin reacted with pleasure to praise and glory, and with dismay to mistreatment. It was a brilliant incentive to keep him working for Aku's approval and the associated emotional reward without worry that he would find any other task equally stimulating. It is that exact emotional core that will be Aku's downfall, as he has betrayed his own assassin in such a way that only complete reprogramming could forge any new loyalty to him."

"You know the details of this android quite…intimately," Tala said with a grin.

"Oh, NOT AGAIN!" Shego groaned.

Demongo ignored it. "Of course I knew him intimately. He usurped what was once MY position as Aku's number one assassin. I hated him with every fiber of my being as I watched him reap the rewards that once were mine! But now, he knows the lows I have suffered, and I shall be the one to command him to a semblance of glory! Provided, of course, that he recognizes my seniority."

"So we rebuild the robot," Mozenrath said. "Condition him to accept us as his new masters. Talk him into loyalty because apparently, he has a heart. And then use his magitech fusion abilities to blow away Aku."

"That is the long and short of it, yes," Demongo confirmed.

"Then take us to where you have the data stored," Octopus commanded. "And no funny business."

"Of course not." Demongo gave one more little bow, then floated off in the direction of the bar that had given the directions to his territory. "We shall see how Aku likes the taste of mercilessness."

Octopus, Tala, Shego, and Mozenrath all shrugged before setting off after him.

...

"Captain!" Benwick yelled from atop the crow's nest. "Ship sighted on the horizon! Ten degrees off east!"

"YOU ALL KNOW YOUR POSITIONS!" Aifread yelled. "NOW GET TO THEM!"

It began with Emerald, Molly, and Laphicet hurrying to the bow. "Operation Blind, Deaf, and Dumb is go," Emerald stated with a nod to the children.

Molly cast out her Epithet as far as it would go. Emerald, seeing the faint shimmer in the air as Dumbness encircled the ship, added to it her alteration of the dreamscape, turning the ship translucent from a view through the combined powers. Laphicet called upon Innominat's power of suppression to infuse the barrier further, and now the Van Eltia was completely invisible and inaudible.

"Dreadfully sorry," Ohn said to Abigail.

"I'll be fine." Abigail nodded, though she was nestled in Mel's embrace and clutching one of his hands tightly. "Just do your thing."

Ohn then turned to the bow himself, reassuming the mask of the Spot and casting an enormous portal, wide enough to swallow the Van Eltia. Which it subsequently did.

The ship was emptied out beside the black-sailed vessel. Even though it was cloaked from eyes and ears, it still arrived with a giant black portal and a disturbance of the water beneath it. An experimental blast fired from the black-sailed ship.

Ifurita caught the cannonball in a tractor beam from her staff, pirouetting to let the ammunition sail off the other side without harming anyone or anything. Then readied in case more cannon fire came her way. Cedric and Magilou flanked her, ready to assist.

When they'd docked at Lionel Wharf, while the vanguard spent a fair amount of time wandering Baird Marsh looking for Catra, Aifread's crew had collected the dream pieces necessary for an Eaglider and a Peepsta Hoo: two pastel-colored birds that perched on Harley's shoulders. Bud and Lou growled at them until Harley yelled, "Don't be jealous!"

Giovanni, Yang, and Velvet stood beside her, at the ready. Velvet's hand erupted to its berserk state; "Let's go."

With a "YAH!", Harley threw one hand into the air. The Eaglider and Peepsta Hoo took to the skies, flying a quick circle around the four of the vanguard.

Harley still wasn't sure how Dream Eaters even worked. She'd been told that different Dream Eaters could link their powers to create some sort of super attack involving the dreamers they were assigned to take care of. Still, that didn't prepare her for the two birds managing to somehow teleport the quartet atop a meteorite hovering above the ship, a meteorite that proceeded to crash down onto the neighboring vessel's deck to deposit Harley, Yang, Giovanni, Velvet, and their birds.

The four leapt into action, ready to face the crew. "You messed with the WRONG ship!" Velvet growled angrily.

But upon beholding the sight that awaited them, Yang remarked, "I'm…starting to think that was the other way around."

Because there was no crew. Every single cannon, every single sail, every single item on the ship that needed to be handled by a human was attached to a spiderweb of pulleys and ropes. Ropes that trailed back up toward the helm. In effect, the helmsperson was able to control every aspect of the ship without a single teammate, simply by pulling the right ropes.

"Okay, that's genius," Giovanni stated. "I'm not even gonna pretend it's not."

"But who – " Harley looked up to the helm where the ropes converged.

Only to be met with the sound of boots thumping on the planks, the sight of a door slamming closed as the only person aboard the ship dashed belowdecks.

"AFTER THEM!" Velvet growled, leading the chase.

Down they went, into a dimly lit interior. It was quite a roomy ship, and also quite a gloomy ship. Not at all like the Van Eltia's sophisticated polish. If not for the windows, one might've been able to think it was night by being down below.

"Olly olly oxen free!" Harley called as the quartet roamed the halls.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are!" Yang added.

Their quarry waited until they'd passed him. Then, taking careful aim, stepped quickly out from his hiding place and fired a single shot.

The bullet struck Giovanni in the back, diminishing his stamina but otherwise leaving no mark. He shrieked an "OW! WHAT THE FUCK!" before turning to see who'd fired on him. Velvet, Yang, and Harley immediately followed suit.

The man who regarded them with a look of utter confusion appeared at first to be a poor man dressed in rags, but looking past the dinginess and bagginess of his clothing, one realized that there was an intricacy to the way it was layered, to the braids of his hair that fell around a crimson bandanna, to the ornamentation beaded into that hair, to the precision of the black makeup around his eyes that made him look all the more like a startled deer in this particular situation.

After a mutual awkward silence, the man cleared his throat and gave a mild shrug; "You know, generally, when I kill a man, he's got the courtesy to actually die, as it is supposed to proceed."

"Yeah, well, I don't die from guns," Giovanni told him. "Ergo you didn't kill me, ergo I don't have to die, ergo UNO REVERSE CARD!" He quickly drew a Blaster-issue gun and pointed it at the man. "Not so tough now, are you?"
"Well, no less than I was before, as you can see," the man stated. "Which really puts you at no disadvantage, as I seem to be in as much trouble whether or not you're armed, so you mightn't as well be armed."

"Now hang on," Harley said, putting up her hands. "I think maybe we got into a misunderstandin' here. Why were ya firin' at our ship?"

"It is customary to fire upon an enemy ship, is it not?" the man countered.

"We weren't an enemy," Yang stated.

"On the contrary," the man replied. "As a foreigner in a strange land with no crew to call my own, I am well aware that barring extenuating circumstances, no man – or woman, as it were – is a friend. And what is not friend must be treated as an enemy if one does not want to be killed, savvy?"
Velvet gave a grunt. "We think you might be someone we came here to find in the first place. One of a group of people who was transported to this world through a portal."

"You musta figured out this place was a dream real fast," Harley realized. "You dreamed up this whole ship, an' ya knew how every part of it would work with those ropes!"

"You expected any less of Captain Jack Sparrow?" the man replied.

"That's your name?" Yang asked.

"I suppose it depends," Sparrow told her. "After all, you've only my word to go on. How about we see how the situation proceeds before we commit to sharing such intimate things as names?"

"You're…real paranoid," Harley realized. "What happened to ya in your home world? Everybody out to get ya?"

"More or less," Sparrow affirmed. "And that was in friendly territory."

"Aw, gee, could ya ever use some therapy," Harley sighed. "Well, today's your lucky day!"

"How is being taken by the enemy at all fortunate?" Sparrow asked.

"We're not your enemy," Velvet sighed. "We're here to form an alliance."

"A claim I've only YOUR word to prove," Sparrow told her.

"Why would we want to go after someone we've NEVER MET OR EVEN HEARD OF?" Velvet growled.

"You seem not to understand how most wars are fought, if that's how you see it," Sparrow told her.

Velvet shut her eyes. "The worst part is thinking back to Artorius and knowing how RIGHT you are."

"Okay, everybody just calm down," Yang sighed. "We can talk about this more once we get back to the ship – "

Sparrow recoiled, holding his pistol out. "I'm not going anywhere with you."

"WE'RE! NOT! YOUR ENEMY!" Velvet growled.

For one of the quartet, however, it clicked. "Let me handle this one," Giovanni said as he stepped forward.

His entire demeanor changed on a dime; "SO! You've seen through my clever ruse! As a villain extraordinaire, I, Giovanni Potage, have bested you at your own game! Now you have no choice left but to become our prisoner or DIE!"

"GIOVANNI!" Velvet barked.

Sparrow considered this. Then: "Say I had a third option in mind."

"Go ahead," Giovanni told him. "I'm listening. But I make no promises. Especially if you're gonna ask me to go easy on you."

"As it were, I may be open to some negotiation," Sparrow told him. "Surely wanton murder of pirate captains was not your only aim on these waters."

"Why, of course not," Giovanni said boastfully. "We're out to commit every crime in the book. Except, y'know, the fucked-up ones. We are aiming to be the richest, most powerful crew in the whole world, until we can break out of this dream and get back to the REAL world, in which case we'll be the richest and most powerful bad guys THERE!"

"It's not exactly a simple operation, that," Sparrow said. "I don't suppose there is an area in which you could use a hand in exchange for a…lighter sentence?"
"I suppooooooose we could work something out," Giovanni said dramatically. "Whaddaya think? Should we start you out on, like, deck-swabbing and other chore-type stuff, and then if you don't go traitor mode on us, you graduate to managing the more EVIL facets of the operation?"

Sparrow finally lowered the gun. "And my returns?"

"Well, I won't make you sleep in a locked cell with only stale bread and salt water," Giovanni told him. "More like one of the spare hammocks and you get to share in the real food. Also, you can come on shore leave in Taliesin if you promise not to run away. Knowing, of course, that if you run away, WE WILL FIND YOU, NO MATTER WHERE YOU MAY HIDE! And also we'll cut you in for a sizeable percentage if you bring us back anything valuable at that port."

He turned and winked to Harley. She winked back. Because if Sparrow were simply told "Don't run," well, that wouldn't work. The threat went a little way. But giving him an incentive to actually come back and turn in the spoils of victory? That secured his place.

"An arrangement I am more than willing to test," Sparrow told him. "Perhaps we could even be associates by the end of it, should our goals and methods align."

Thinking all the while that he was ready to turn traitor at the first sign of something truly cruel – and if these folks dealt in human trafficking as the ships of old he'd known, he'd be sure to take that precious "cargo" along with him in the escape.

Harley, of course, suspecting this was on his mind, and knowing the Heathen brand of evil was exactly what he'd find gratifying and unobjectionable.

"Then we're agreed!" Giovanni said. "Now GET ON OUR SHIP BEFORE I'M FORCED TO GET ANGRY!"

"At once, captain…" Sparrow faltered.

"Giovanni," Giovanni answered. "Giovanni Potage. Though I'm really more like a first-mate type. Your REAL captain is right here." He gestured to Harley. "Harley Quinn."

"Ah," Sparrow said with a nod. "The stew and the jester. I suppose there are worse names."

"Stop stalling and MOVE IT!" Giovanni yelled.

As Giovanni and Harley escorted Captain Sparrow abovedeck, Velvet gaped. Yang clapped her on the shoulder, telling her, "Just take the win."

...

" – could SWEAR he didn't even have the thing! He was swordless! Sans sword! Manufactured in a sword-free bakery! Betcha that thing's a fake; it doesn't even look…"

The famed and feared android assassin, Scaramouche the Merciless, stopped talking to Aku the minute he realized he wasn't actually talking to Aku anymore. Instead, he seemed to be sitting on a table in the basement of some bar with an assortment of strangers looking at him.

"Whoa." He raised a hand to press against his metal skull. "Some trip. What happened? One minute me and the boss-man are double-teamin' Mr. Big Hero on the Block, next it turns out he's got the sword, then I – "

Oh, that was right. He'd attempted to explain himself and was immediately destroyed.

"That no-good son of a doggie dame!" He swung a fist. "I go on an entire road trip with nobody and no BODY in order to give him the good news, and this is how he repays me?"

"Yessss…" Demongo said with a grin. "Aku does seem to repay his subordinates in a most…cruel and unusual manner, does he not?"
Octopus surveyed the android he'd put back together. A tall, lithe creation, with silvery skin, dressed in a billowing purple coat, crimson high-heeled boots, and a wide-brimmed kasa. Several weapons had also been recovered with his fragments – an array of shortswords and a flute that Demongo insisted was important. "Do tell me that the AI was originally supposed to be that…verbose," Octopus said with a twitch of the eye.

"Oh, he was," Demongo chuckled. "Everything seems to be working perfectly."

"He just HAD to be a motormouth," Shego grumbled.

"With all due respect, babe," Scaramouche told her, "my mouth runs on motors. Comes with the territory. So which one of you performed the Second Coming of Scaramouche?"

"That would be me," Octopus stated smugly. "And with the state your structure and programming were in…that was no small feat."

"Much obliged, babe," Scaramouche replied.

"Of course, he was not the only one who had a hand in your resurrection." Tala strode over to the robot, circling him like a vulture. "Your magical capabilities required a significant amount of Dark energy to power. Something I could easily provide. There is much of me running through your circuits at this very moment." She reached out, running a hand from Scaramouche's face down to his chest. "And such a beautiful specimen."

"WHOA!" Scaramouche swatted her hand aside, leaping to his feet and striking a defensive pose. "Back off, babe. I don't do the ladies."

"What a disappointment for me." Tala smirked anyway. "But what good news for so many men."

"Look, let's just get to the point." Mozenrath stepped out front and center. "You're Scaramouche the Merciless. Once Aku's most powerful and feared assassin. Now his latest victim and the scum on his boots."

"He doesn't wear boots, darling," Scaramouche corrected. "Got some kinda floaty mass of roots down there for feet. Real creepy. Good talking point at parties, though."

Mozenrath flinched. "I am giving you…as much patience as I can spare right now. The POINT is, you're a killer by trade and a magitech fusion unlike anything we've ever seen."

Tala and Octopus both spoke up simultaneously:

"Well, I would not say it was a completely foreign concept – "

"He was similar enough to past endeavors – "

"GUYS!" Shego snapped. "We get it. You're both geniuses and this was a piece of cake."

Tala and Octopus took it, smirking proudly.

"Not to mention that while you do have an emotional center that could be seen as a 'heart,' it is jet black," Mozenrath went on. "And correct me if I'm wrong, but after your last job went south…you don't exactly harbor much loyalty to Aku anymore, do you?"

"Loyalty?" Scaramouche flinched dramatically. "LOYALTY? The loyalty card just got put through the paper shredder along with the last scrap of Aku's integrity! Let's see how Aku likes me going from Aku's number one assassin to the number one assassin OF AKU!"

"Perfect." Mozenrath nodded. "And just so we're understood…if we help you bring him down, you owe us."

"How about you gimme the terms and I'll see if I' like 'em?" Scaramouche asked.

"In another reality, I lead a syndicate known as the WHAM ARMY," Mozenrath explained.

"What, is that some kinda acronym?" Scaramouche asked.

"It's an acro – " Mozenrath began as a reflex. Then winced. "Actually, yes. Indicating the names of the founders. The only founder present here is me, Mozenrath, the most important of the entire contingent. We're on a quest for conquest. Our aim is complete and total multiveral domination not unlike what Aku currently possesses. And, should we stir up a little trouble on the way that happens to match the particular interests of each of our members, well, that's more than a bonus. As it stands, you can never have too many assassins. And with us? Failure doesn't mean death."

"Otherwise, everybody in the entire group would already be murdered three times over by now," Shego taunted.

"WILL YOU NOT UNDERMINE ME?" Mozenrath yelled at her.

"Awww, but it's so fuuuuun!" Shego retorted.

"Well, that does sound like the bees' knees, Mozey-toesy!" Scaramouche replied. "Of course, we'll have to call it a trial period. You go back on your word about anything in the contract, mostly the treatment of the adroit android as a respected employee, and I might just hafta pull a mass-murder-and-run. Deal?"

After a pause, Mozenrath told him, "Don't ever call me 'Mozey-toesy' again and you have a deal. Also, if you absolutely HAVE to use a stupid nickname, 'Righty' is the standard procedure."

"Righty-o, Righty," Scaramouche said. "So, what's the plan?"

"AHA!" Demongo crowed, lifting himself into the air to become the focal point of the conversation. "Now that you have signed onto our mission, it is I, DEMONGO, who you must defer to! Please, please – I know it must come as a shock to you to see that I am still in play after all these years. I have been biding my time by devising my ultimate revenge! The purpose for which I assembled your broken scraps so you could return to your fraudulent existence as my lesser replacement! I do sincerely hope you have enjoyed your time reaping the benefits once intended for ME, because now you must defer to MY orders! I am the one who directs you! I finally claim the honor I deserve!"

After a long pause, Scaramouche stated, "Babe, I got no freakin' idea who you even are."

Demongo responded with several choking sputter sounds. Then he found his voice: "I am DEMONGO! Aku's FORMER top assassin before he created you to REPLACE me! I am an ancient and feared spirit who commands the souls of the dead in an innumerable army!"

"How do I know you're not just padding your résumé?" Scaramouche asked. "Any old joe can claim to be a former top assassin of Aku."

"I WAS THE TOP ASSASSIN OF AKU!" Demongo shrieked. "YOU ONLY EXIST BECAUSE AKU DISRESPECTED ME! AS I AM TO MAKE CERTAIN YOU WILL NOT DO! FOR I - "

Scaramouche waved a hand with a casual "Beep-ba-do-dahhhh."

A roll of duct tape lying among the tools Octopus had used for the rebuilding tore a strip from itself, and that strip zoomed through the air to slap over Demongo's mouth, muffling him. The demon tore at the tape in rage.

"Thiiiiiiiis is gonna get old fast," Shego grumbled.

"How interesting that they should already take such a…fascinating hate with one another," Tala remarked.

"STOP," Shego told her.

"I did not imply anything," Tala said with an innocent, playful shrug. "Once again, whatever you may have heard is your problem."

"I suggest we focus on the situation at hand," Octopus said. "We – "

"YOU don't call the shots," Mozenrath reminded him. "I do. And I say we need to focus on the situation at hand. The two of you can go out back and kill each other out of spite later. Right now, we need to be putting together our strategy to bring down Aku."

"All right, all riiiiiight," Scaramouche relented. "Righty, Mr. Mongo, what's the word?"

Demongo had finally ripped away all the tape and thrown it aside. "A simple plan," he stated. "We are to give Aku a taste of his own bitter medicine. And in order to do that…we shall need your mellifluous voice."

Tala opened her mouth to say something about that particular description, but Shego and Octopus both yelled "NO!" at her before anything else could be potentially implied.

...

"Weiss!" Blake called over as the Remnant Cinnamon contingent raced out into the night, following the immense mecha that Watts had hijacked. "I know it's been a while, but why are you pink?"

Weiss let out a snort. "Laundry mishap." Then turned her gaze away from Blake, mouth set in a deep frown as she kept running.

Blake could already tell something about that incident was making her morose. "It had something to do with him, didn't it?"

"Which is why he's going to live," Weiss said through gritted teeth.

The group pulled to a halt when a human figure melted out of the shadows, appearing before them in full color. Ruby drew back Crescent Rose, only for Blake to clap a hand on her shoulder; "Wait! She's a friend." Blake then looked to the other young woman; "What's the situation, Ilia?"

"I have the Fang working to remove the disarmed bombs from the rest of the campus now," Ilia panted. "I cut the wires, but I didn't have enough time to discard the Dust chambers. If that thing hits a patch of the ones I disarmed, there's still enough Burn in there to bring the whole Academy down."

Ruby gave a sharp nod. "Then we'll stop it before it can."

"Good luck," Ilia said before she melted out of visibility once more, her dark suit blending into the night as she dashed away.

"Yeah, I'm not a giant-robot-smasher kind of guy," Kokichi remarked offhandedly. "I'm gonna stick with the people who AREN'T gonna die in a hail of hellfire. OHHHHH, CHAMELEON LADY!"

"That's right!" Booster yelled as Kokichi took off after Ilia. "Get to safety!"

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M DOING, DUMBASS!" Kokichi yelled back. "THIS IS MY ACT OF COWARDICE THAT SCREWS YOU OVER! GEEZ!"

"We need a plan!" Ruby cried as the group picked up the pace once more. The immense mech was in her sights; all cannons were firing now, blasting different Dust attacks across Haven and leaving scorch marks and frozen patches in its wake.

"Ruby!" Jaune protested. "That thing is way out of our league! We can't even scratch it!"

"Maybe not if we worked separately," Ruby confirmed.

Booster gasped; "But if we teamed up for all of our attacks – "

"Then we can break it," Ruby stated.

"I'll trust you," Jaune told her. "But something needs to draw its fire away. We can't stop it if we all get shot before we ever reach it."

"Leave that to me and Qrow," Ozpin said through Oscar.

"Me?" Qrow recoiled. "Oz, are you serious? Harbinger's broken and so am I."

"You still have the ability I gifted you, do you not?" Ozpin said as he braced his cane, charging himself up with a green glow. "All we need to be is the diversion. No weapon required."

"Oz, my Semblance – "

"Couldn't affect a machine anyhow. Only a living soul. You don't need to worry about bringing bad luck to it. Just bringing good luck to yourself."

Qrow gave a sigh. "Fine. Apparently you've been at this game for a few hundred years, so…"

In a rush, he shifted, and was temporarily gone, his black feathers blending in until a flash of moonlight illuminated the crow that soared across the campus as they closed the final distance to the machine. Ozpin paused and crouched, then kicked off into hyperspeed, his magic of days old allowing him to move Oscar's body at superhuman rates.

(Oscar would probably collapse after this, and not be happy with him at all in the morning. After this victory, both Ozpin and his host would need to sit out to recuperate.)

"OKAY!" Ruby yelled shrilly. "Team attacks! I'm coming up with these on the fly, so they better work!"

And she began to detail what she wanted her new, much larger team to do.

When two heat signatures blazed across the robot's tracking system, Watts considered it from where he was tucked away in the classroom on the upper level. When he realized one of them was of a bird, and exactly what that implied, he set the cannons to follow them, hoping to blast them out of the air.

"Most likely a diversion," he muttered to himself. "But he knows as well as I do that if the children don't stop the machine, then he will, all by himself, regardless of the child he's piloting. So let's see how strong the WHAM ARMY builds their machines."

Besides, he knew that all he needed to do was get ahead of the White Fang and find the bombs that they hadn't reached yet.

The rest had finally gotten into range, approaching the robot from behind. "LET'S GO!" Ruby yelled. "CHECKMATE! SPEED BOOST!"

Weiss conjured a path of glyphs that allowed her and Blake to skate out front of the mech while Ruby grabbed onto Booster's hand and shot herself and him straight up into the air in a beam of red, flower petals trailing in their wake.

"Just like old times, right?" Blake teased as she danced out in front of the robot.

"You know, I did miss this." Weiss pirouetted before plunging Myrtenaster into the ground. A rotating glyph built itself beneath Blake's feet, imbuing into Blake's Aura.

The robot sensed Blake. One cannon turned toward her.

Blake released Weiss' charge, lashing out in a deadly barrage with Gambol Shroud, a cyclone of slashing weaponry. The next thing anyone knew, the cannon had fallen right off the robot, clashing to the ground in pieces.

Meanwhile, when Ruby and Booster reached optimal height, they regained solid form. Booster activated his jet pack while Ruby trailed a propulsion blast of red Aura, spinning the two of them round and round in the air, faster and faster as Ruby lent more speed to their dance. Then, at the pivotal moment, she let Booster go, and he shut off his thrusters.

He plummeted from the skies like a meteor, his entire body slamming into the joint of the second cannon with such force that it snapped off completely, skidding over a yard and into a nearby wall.

Booster landed, bounced, rolled. Ruby touched down in front of him, reaching out; "You okay?"

"Yeah. I've had worse falls."

"Oh, well done," Watts remarked from inside the classroom. "But unfortunately for you, this is WHAM ARMY construction. They've gone for quantity over quality. Not how I'd've built it…but it does leave me several backup options."

Two cavities opened on the robot, front and back. Out came immense Dust-imbued circular saw blades, glowing red on their serrations, mounted on flexible metal arms. In the absence of ammunition, the robot began to tear through every tree and structure that the blades could reach, pivoting them at the perfect angles to slice through all nearby targets.

(Burn, in the blades. If it hit the bombs, Watts' job was done.)

"KNOCKSMASH!" Ruby yelled.

Goofy and Jaune positioned themselves at the side of the robot, standing adjacently to one another. They gave each other a nod. Jaune sheathed Crocea Mors' blade within the shield; the sheath contracted around it, creating a thicker blade. Then Goofy served his shield up in front of Jaune, who batted it.

The shield flew into the first saw-blade arm joint with a resounding CLANG. In an instant, it had returned to its owner, and Goofy served it again, with Jaune sending it for another round. Over and over the shield battered the arm until it disconnected from the bot, the blade driving itself into the dirt with the excess momentum.

The robot pivoted to aim its remaining saw blade at Jaune and Goofy. "We better make this quick!" Goofy insisted.

With a yell, both he and Jaune flung their weapons at the robot. Of course, that was when Goofy's hand became temporarily lodged in the grip at the shield's back, meaning that when he threw it, he was launched along with it, crying out an "EHH-HOO-HOO-HOOOEEEEE!". But the combination of Crocea Mors and Goofy himself taking opposing curves to slam into the arm of the next saw blade snapped it off immediately, the blade plunging into the ground a mere few feet away from Jaune.

Goofy bounced several times before coming to a halt. When he finally did, reeling from dizziness, he raised his shield and yelled "I'M OKAY!"

"And so Plan B has failed," Watts remarked. "What a surprise. There is, of course, still hope for Plan C."

Two more cavities opened, higher up on the robot. Out came a pair of immense hammers. Ruby was already plotting for how to overcome a bludgeoning attack when both hammers slammed immediately down – not at any of the robot's foes, but at the ground. When they impacted, a massive shockwave shook the whole campus and knocked everyone off their feet.

"HE MIGHT NOT EVEN NEED TO GET TO THE BOMBS IF HE KEEPS SHAKING THE PLACE TO PIECES!" Nora yelled.

Ruby wasn't fazed. She knew what could beat these. "FLARE FORCE!"

"EEYAH!" Donald crowed, hoisting his staff. Ren rushed to stand behind him; with a wave of the staff, Donald had levitated both of them up into the air, above where the shockwaves could get them. Another great wave kept their allies down, but Donald, seeing red, growled, "A wise guy, eh? GET 'IM, REN!"

Ren took aim with Stormflower, and Donald funneled his magic into the twin pistols. What came out was not Ren's aura, but instead a barrage of magical firework rockets that expanded as they were shot, colliding hard with the hammers. After taking so much abuse, the first hammer simply fell apart. Donald then steered himself and Ren around to the other side to work on the other hammer.

"WE GOTTA END THIS!" Ruby yelled.

"CAN WE PLEASE?" Nora called back.

Ruby said the two words she was hoping to hear: "ALL CREATION!"

The second hammer shattered. And in its wake stood Nora and Yuffie. Nora held Magnhild aloft, its chambers exposed to reveal all six grenades; in her mouth was another bright-yellow Materia. Yuffie had just finished attaching fire Materia to six shuriken.

Nora drew back Magnhild with a yell, electricity coursing through her system. Yuffie let the shuriken fly, and when Magnhild propelled forward with extreme force, the grenades within hit the shuriken from behind, shooting them further forward.

All the explosive energy of Nora's grenades combined with Yuffie's shuriken slammed into the robot at once. There was a great blast, like a bomb had been set off then and there; all was enveloped in red and orange. Contained, of course, to a small radius that would only leave a bit of a mark on the lawn in the morning. Then the dust finally cleared, and the remaining fragments of what had at one point been a murderous robot collapsed sadly into the dirt.

"YEAH!" Ruby yelled, leaping up with a fist in the air. "WE DID IT!"

Qrow skidded to a halt on human feet; "Well, whaddaya know."

He and Ozpin watched as the others crowded around Ruby, jumping and shrieking victoriously.

"I'm not surprised, you know," Ozpin boasted. "After all, I taught them everything they…they…"

He swooned, hitting the dirt, unconscious.

"Great," Qrow sighed. He piped up; "HEY! We gotta get outta here!"

"But the relic!" Ruby protested.

"Relic schmelic," Qrow called back. "We stopped 'em from blowing the place sky-high, and the Fang'll finish that job with the rest of the bombs. Once they get the relic, they'll take their little villains' war on the road, and we escape with minimal casualties. But right now, Oz is in no place to keep going, and we gotta catch up with Kairi to make sure we haven't lost the other one."

Jaune checked his GummiPhone; "She just texted. She's got us a safehouse in town. Let's go."

Everyone made to run after Qrow, off campus and into the city. Everyone but Ruby, who stared after them all in disbelief.

"But…we're not done," she said meekly. "If they get the relic…"

"Ruby." Booster settled his hand on her shoulder from beside her. "It's not the way I wanted it to end either. But I think it's the only way it can end. If we don't leave now…then we might not all get back to Kairi in one piece. And Kazuichi needs us."

"We're supposed to be the heroes," Ruby said softly.

"And you are!" Booster encouraged. "But sometimes…the heroes can't do everything."

He sounded as crestfallen as Ruby felt. So she put her arm up to link around his; "Okay. I cave."

And they set off after the group, calling out, "WAIT FOR US!"

Watts sneered. "As I suspected. Here I was hoping to be pleasantly surprised…but I suppose you can't expect too much from the likes of Roman Torchwick. Ah, well."

He straightened up, adjusted his vest, and took his leave at his own pace.

...

The elevator to the Vault of the Spring Maiden came to a halt behind a cage of green bars that parted to reveal an immense, dark cavern. An intricately tiled floor bearing three great glass circles bridged the way to the towering Vault door: a masterwork of layers folding over one another, like flower petals. Framing this door was a wild, bushy grove of trees, with tiny lights like fireflies glowing in the shadows of the leaves.

Once the Spring Maiden set foot on this floor, the first of the glass circles illuminated, sky-blue, with a white crest almost reminiscent of a fleur-de-lis. A light traversed a channel in the stone of the bridge, feeding into the next circle, then lighting up the third.

Raven was sure that her companions, the ones who walked alongside her – Jafar, Hook, Gothel, Lauriam, Mercury, Tyrian, Cinder – believed it was Vernal causing the reaction in the tiles. Especially since she was helmeted to prevent her eyes from so much as sparking. Still, she couldn't shake a sense of deep-seated dread that made her heart flutter in a most unpleasant way.

A cursory glance showed her that Vernal was also not in the best of moods, judging by the way her face was set in a deep scowl. Raven and Vernal seemed to be the only two people in this party who weren't experiencing any sort of levity.

"Hrm…I hate it," Tyrian remarked.

"I rather like it," Lauriam countered. "It takes advantage of the beauty of nature to illuminate that which is carved by hand."

"Eh." Gothel shrugged. "I never was big on floating lights."

"I always knew you couldn't recognize true beauty," Lauriam told her, shaking his head and clicking his tongue. "But I didn't realize the depths of it until I saw exactly which of our opponents was the apple of your eye. I thought that after all our years together, if you thought you could sway a man toward women, well, then he must have been a prize. Come to find out…you truly have no taste whatsoever." An amused smirk punctuated it. "Am I next to see you attempting to raise a blobfish as one would a kitten?"
"One: it was more about the power play than anything else," Gothel hissed. "Two: I didn't know it was set in STONE. Many people aren't exclusive to one gender or another! Three: did you even hear him speak? You heard what his voice sounds like, right? And NO leeway for that?"

"None whatsoever," Lauriam said mischievously.

"You're the worst," Gothel spat.

"SILENCE!" Jafar spat. "Enough of your familial squabbling! We are on the cusp of a great victory…of ultimate knowledge, of divine power!"

"And how does this work, again?" Hook asked. "Only the Spring Maiden can open the door. Has she got some sort of code to pass?"

"It's magic," Cinder corrected hoarsely. "Once the Maiden touches the door…it will open. Then I will…retrieve the relic. Only me, and…no one else."

"Now wait just a moment!" Tyrian broke in. "Why should YOU get the approval of our goddess? I have been both devoted and devout! Surely such an offering should come from me, her most fervent worshipper!"

"NO," Cinder growled. "She already…has faith…in you. I…will be the one…to give it to her!"

"Oh, please," Tyrian scoffed. "You can't even form a sentence, and you're missing half your body. You think she's going to be impressed just because you handed over a bauble? Or that I couldn't rip it from your weak little hands the moment you picked it up?"

Cinder's own eyes flamed; "You…be…SILENT!"

"I'm certain I only JUST put a ban on FAMILIAL SQUABBLING!" Jafar snapped. They were on the third glass panel now, just before the door. "Maiden! Step forth and open the way to the Vault so that we may retrieve the power we came here for!"

Vernal looked to Raven. Raven gave a slight nod. Vernal stepped forth, making her way to the front of the group. Reaching out for the door. Taking her sweet time about it.

She and Raven had agreed beforehand on what should happen if it came to this. Vernal was to keep up the charade until the very end. They both knew that the Overtakers wanted the Maiden power, and so many of them were loose cannons, ready to jump the gun. They wouldn't wait. They would slaughter Vernal in hopes of transferring the power to themselves…and that would buy Raven precious time.

Behind Vernal, there was a discreet movement. A white glove was pulled onto a waiting hand.

It wasn't without regret that Vernal finally stretched her fingers the final inch, brushing the gold of the door. She had always thought that when it came to this, she would be ready to give her life for Raven. But now, even though she had fed herself this lie over and over again, she wanted so desperately to turn and run, to escape, to live yet another day. To have another chance, even if it was constantly on the run.

Disloyalty, however, was worse than death. So Vernal did not run. Her hand lay flat against the door, and she and Raven both waited for the strike.

When the overlarge scythe-blade sank into Raven's back from behind, so hard and fast that its tip emerged from her chest in a bloody shower, she and Vernal both realized something had gone wrong.

Raven sputtered, choked. "How…why…?"

Lauriam, standing close behind her and holding the scythe that had pierced her thoroughly, leaned in to whisper to her, "You aren't clever. Your reputation was hardly earned. A simpleton could see through your charade from the start."

Gothel approached the quivering Raven from around front, reaching out a hand to pull away her mask and reveal the Spring Maiden magic leaking from her eyes like tears. The hand was sheathed in a white glove, now. "I think we all know what happened here," she said. "You destroyed the first Maiden, took her powers for your own, and then set up the other girl as a patsy to die for you. Why, you're an even worse mother than me!" A sardonic laugh. "And that is a STATEMENT."

Vernal realized that her death would not undo what had already been committed. There was no reason for her to play along anymore. She had no guarantee she would survive, but at least now, she could try. She gave a leap, snagging the branch of one of the trees that bordered the Vault, hauling herself up into it and hiding among the leaf cover.

"YOU!" Hook yelled, drawing his pistol. "GET DOWN FROM THERE!"

Bang, bang, bang. No corpse dropped.

"Worry about it…later," Cinder cautioned him. "She knows she's…outmatched. No need to rush…what is…inevitable."

Raven spent her final moments paralyzed with terror as Gothel caressed her cheek. She was going to die, right there, looking into the eyes of the enemy and solidifying her in her last thoughts. Gothel would become the next Spring Maiden.

No! She wouldn't! Raven would choose someone else, so long as she was conscious enough to do so! She fixated her thoughts on one particular target. Someone who'd proven herself worthy. Her own flesh and blood, who she knew, without a doubt, had survived the vortex.

However, Gothel wasn't interested in gambling. When Raven felt a prickling on her face, she realized the reason for the white glove. It wasn't just a fashion choice. It was a weapon. A beetle Grimm had worked its way out of the fabric, clawing over Raven's face, biting through her skin and sucking so hard that Raven could feel the rapid dissipation of her own Aura.

So Yang wouldn't be the Spring Maiden after all.

As Gothel glowed with bright red, gaining an Aura of her very own, she began to sing: "Wither and decay…end this destiny…break these earthly chains, and set this spirit free…"

Her own eyes flashed with the luminous flames of the Spring Maiden's power.

With a final gasp, Raven shuddered to a halt, slumping. Gothel stepped back, letting the corpse fall off Lauriam's scythe.

The Spring Maiden celebrated the gaining of her new aura with one final repetition: "…This spirit free."

Lauriam nodded. "It becomes you."

"Everything does, dear," Gothel replied. "And now…I don't need another girl's spring power to give me what I've always deserved."

Cinder had wanted it. Salem and Maleficent had said no, that the Maiden power needed to be distributed. Cinder knew the real reason why Salem had agreed, and it burned within her. Her injuries, her raspy voice. She'd failed at the Forbidden World. Now, the power once promised to her was being given to others.

(At least the girl Cyclonis had been cut off from the group before they could make her Winter Maiden. That would've been a humiliation Cinder never could've endured.)

"Can we just get this over with?" Mercury groaned.

"All right, all right." Gothel swaggered forth to the Vault door.

Hook kept scanning the trees, waiting for Vernal to resurface. As time passed with no sign of the girl, he muttered, "Perhaps she is dead…". All the same, his trigger finger tightened.

At Gothel's lightest touch, the gold leaf of the door shone with a white-hot pattern of vines and leaves, then retracted in layers, folding aside to reveal the chamber beyond. Which didn't look in the slightest like a chamber.

The other side almost seemed an entirely different world, one with a door set to bridge the two planes of existence. As far as the eye could see, golden desert sand stretched into white sky. A few paces from the doorway itself, a pillar of sandstone was raised, and atop it floated an ornate lantern of blue and gold: the Relic of Knowledge.

"I daresay this is a nostalgic sight," Jafar remarked as he surveyed the desert sands.

"Still can't believe you made your home in a place like that," Hook sniffed. "All sand and no sea. I'd go mad."

Cinder sauntered forth, stepping through the door so that her heeled shoes sank in the sand. She reached out for the lantern, only for it to be swiped away from her, dangled in front of her by Tyrian, who'd made several quick leaps to outpace her.

"GIVE…IT…TO ME!" Cinder swiped at him, but he dodged her again and again, the lantern always swinging a few inches from her reach.

"Hmm…no, I don't think I will," Tyrian jeered, leaping back out the Vault door. "Oh, Gothel, could you be a dear and seal our Cinder inside?"

"No," Gothel said flatly.

Cinder stormed out of the Vault, grabbing once more for the relic as the door shut behind her. "TYRIAN…YOU…"

Tyrian yet again danced away from her, the lantern hanging from the tip of his metal tail. "I had thought you above such groveling for clout!" he taunted. "Does it matter who brings back the relic? We are a team, after all! It may as well be me."

"The arachnid is correct, in a respect," Jafar said. "This victory was never intended to be YOURS, Cinder. It was intended to be OURS."

In a flash of red, the lantern shot away from Tyrian; Jafar caught it deftly in his hand, the magic he'd summoned to call it to him fading away. "Which is why I, as our leader, shall be the one to claim the prize and the glory!"

"YOU – " Tyrian sputtered. "ABSOLUTE – UNDERHANDED – CONNIVING – BASTARD!"

"I almost regret not having brought finger food for the show," Lauriam said to Gothel slyly.

"SERIOUSLY, it doesn't matter who holds the shiny thing!" Mercury protested. "We HAVE it, and that's all that matters!"

A boisterous new voice: "I agree! I'd enjoy the last few minutes you have to hang onto that thing, though, 'cause the good times just aren't gonna last."

All eyes turned to where the green bars had parted to let another contingent through. Roman was in the lead, with Snatcher flanking closely. Behind him, Mim and the Huntsman. Behind them, Neo, Vexen, Hannibal, Zorg, and Miltia.

And all the way back on the second elevator platform, Drakken began to think that maybe it wasn't such a great idea to be in a dark subterreanean chamber with a bunch of seasoned warriors while the only gadgets he'd brought were somewhere upstairs, so he just stayed back behind the cage.

"You," Cinder seethed. "You…don't even…know…its value!"

"And yet we are well aware it HAS value," Snatcher countered. "Which is why it should rest in our hands. We mightn't know what power it'll grant us, but it is definitely some sort of power, magical, political, or otherwise."

"I say we let them try," Lauriam chuckled. "After all…they certainly can't fare any better than Raven. At least she came highly recommended."

"Two Maidens, boys." Gothel lit up her eyes with her new power. "How do you like those odds?"

"Ooh, a challenge!" Mim chirped with a skip in her step.

"I shall be honored to rise to that challenge," the Huntsman stated.

"YOUR unworthy hands shall never touch the relic that belongs to US," Jafar seethed. "Yet if you insist on such bravado…then SO BE IT!"

In a fountain-cloud of red, Jafar exploded upward, expanding into a new form as a massive genie with crimson skin, muscles upon muscles, and several times the size he'd had before. Tall enough to reach the ceiling, he tore into it, heaving a great stalactite of rock directly down at the WHAM ARMY.

The Huntsman was the first to react, leaping to catch the top of the rock as it descended, springboarding off it to get closer to Jafar and the relic. Jafar, in response, gritted his teeth and tore out several more chunks of ceiling to use as projectiles.

Those who remained on the bridge charged one another, and chaos broke out.

Vernal finally saw her opportunity. They were all so busy fighting one another that no one was scanning for her anymore. She dropped from the trees, keeping to the sidelines.

"You know what?" Drakken laughed nervously from the elevator. "I'm starting to realize that maybe I don't actually want to be here. Funny story! This is just a bit out of my league!"

Mim pointed back without even looking at him. There appeared in midair a button for him to use to send her elevator platform back up.

"THANK YOU!" Drakken yelled. Then he began to furiously punch the button.

Vernal skidded in as the platform began to rise, leaping aboard. Drakken, startled, gave a yelp.

"I'm not here to hurt you," Vernal said. "Take me out of here, and I'll let you go."

"Er…okay, I wasn't exactly expecting this…" Drakken replied as they rose. "See, your friends aren't exactly the negotiating type…"

"They aren't my friends," Vernal said sternly. "And they never were."

"I guess that's, ah…that's fair…"

Awkwardly, they rode up and out of the Vault, leaving the battlefield behind.

The Huntsman kept on leaping up the falling rocks to get a closer shot at Jafar's genie form. Enraged, Jafar changed the trajectory of the rocks; instead of falling straight down, they whirled above the battlefield in a deadly dance, occasionally colliding with one another in a shower of shards. The Huntsman leapt off his rock before one such collision could occur, the huntstaff twirling in his hands.

"But of course it was the one skilled in combatting magic," Jafar sneered, balling up a large orb of pure flame, like a miniaturized sun, in his hands. "The only way it could get any worse is if it were a Mukhtar!"

He let the orb fly. The huntstaff cut right through it in a crackle of green, allowing the Huntsman an opening to launch a sphinx-hair net. And another, and another, and another, because Jafar as a genie was far larger than what his standard net could wrap around.

As the interwoven hairs hit Jafar, there was a definite sizzling sound upon his skin. He peeled each off, throwing it aside with a sneer of disgust. Grid patterns quickly faded off his skin, gold against the red. The hand not cradling the lantern drew back a new projectile: an orb of crackling electricity, two halos of energy running around it.

The Huntsman took aim. Fired. Hit a rock behind Jafar's head, missing the genie entirely but causing such a cacophony of noise, pressure, and shattering shards that Jafar lurched. The shot went wild, careening across the cavern. And the relic dropped from his hand, down, down toward the bridge below.

A metallic appendage reached out from atop another rock; the lantern's hook snagged on the tip of Tyrian's tail. "Where it belongs," Tyrian said smugly.

He then sidestepped as a rush of flame came pouring past him. Zorg hopped from an adjacent chunk of rock onto the one where Tyrian stood, stumbling a bit. (It had taken him more than a fair bit of effort to get all the way up there, but he'd known which way the lantern was going to end up heading.)

"What an impressive toy!" Tyrian cackled in regards to the ZF1. "Why, it's completely designed for the inexperienced novice to put up something resembling a fight."

"Zorg technology is designed to make life more convenient for the killer, no matter their shape, size, or skill level," Zorg reminded him. "This weapon right here was designed so that its wielder don't need a single LICK of skill. Which is, ultimately, the point of innovation, and frankly where every single one of your fancy-schmancy also-a-guns falls short. But enough talk." He switched settings on the ZF1 with an audible click. "Let's have the practical demo speak for itself."

A red dot pinpointed one of Tyrian's wrist-mounted weapons. There was a click, and the dot focused on the one on the opposite wrist.

"Just choose one and FIRE!" Tyrian yelled. "Oops, TOO LATE!" He leapt into the air, pirouetting like a cyclone, his wristblades spewing ammunition.

With a satisfied grin, Zorg activated the Instant Replay function on his own weapon. Every single shot he fired homed right in on one or the other of Tyrian's blades, blasting all of Tyrian's fire out of the air before it could reach him. He then made a sidestep at the last possible moment to evade the whirling blades.

Tyrian normally would've just repositioned and kept slashing, but the chamber of his right wristblade jammed, a ZF1 bullet lodged right into it, and he knew something was wrong. "WHY YOU – "

"Fun fact about Instant Replay." The gun clicked again. "Works on the missile setting too."

Several small rockets detached from the ZF1, careening for Tyrian.

He backflipped up out of the way, onto an adjacent rock that was rising while Zorg's was falling.

Zorg hefted the ZF1 into the air; the entire gun landed beside Tyrian on the rocky plateau. "What?" Tyrian seethed. "THAT'S THE STUPIDEST MOVE I'VE EVER – "

"Another fun fact about Instant Replay." Zorg withdrew a much smaller pistol. "I've got it installed on the everyday carry models, too."

Click. Bang. And the single bullet arced into the air, swerving to hit the target Zorg had set beforehand: the red button on the ZF1.

Tyrian's rock exploded. Tyrian himself plummeted, to land on the bridge very bruised and very angry but still alive. The lantern was once again falling from the sky, spinning round and round in its descent.

From one metal hook to another, it snagged on Hook's prosthetic; the pirate had caught another rock in order to take the lantern on an ascent back to Jafar. No sooner did he have it secure than he became aware of a second person dropping onto the same platform as him: Neo, with sword drawn and arrogance in her eyes.

"You'd best not attempt, lass," Hook told her. "Unless you want to be penetrated by my weapon…and really, I wouldn't blame you."

She flicked the sword, its edge facing Hook, as she advanced. Hook drew his own blade and rushed her. She was able to match him stroke for stroke, the two blades parrying each other at all angles – and what was worrying was actually how well he was able to keep up with her.

So she played a little dirty. Several quite imaginary swords appeared in the air around her, all pointing at Hook.

Hook gasped. Stumbled. Gave her an opening to press her real blade to his throat as all the false swords shot toward him and passed right through him as though they were nothing.

"A dirty trick," Hook choked. "A woman after me own heart, it seems."

Neo rolled her eyes.

"Of course," Hook went on, "women like you, they're never in it for me. They just want the riches I can provide them."

He flung the lantern over the side, and Neo gasped.

"I believe that proves my point," Hook said as Neo relinquished him in order to chase after the lantern, only to lose her footing and end up dangling off another rock by one hand.

"HA!" Mercury leapt from his own rocky plateau to catch the lantern two-handed. "We all know I'm the real amputee star around here."

"Mercury Black." Miltia swaggered across the plateau to stare him down. "Ugh. You're just a two-bit assassin wannabe who got grandfathered into the big leagues. You're not special."

"You have no idea what I've accomplished," Mercury seethed.

"Let's just, like, dance already," Miltia scoffed.

She dropped into a breakdancer's crouch, a leg kicking outward. He sprang upward to evade it, sending a kick at her head; she leaned back to avoid it. For a while, they fought each other kick-to-kick, a twisted dance of flying legs and quick evasions, until Miltia took note that every so often, Mercury was firing an Aura bullet.

"So that's your game," she muttered.

It wasn't long before his silver blasts hurricaned around the two of them, ready to descend on Miltia. At last, Mercury had completed his deadly web, and the ammo started to close in.

She seized his upper body. Dipped him low, giving him a smirk on the way down. Then spun, hurling him into the path of his own barrage before making her escape with a snort.

As Mercury pondered why he kept ending up pummeled by his own weaponry, he tossed the relic so as not to shatter it in the onslaught. A curling green tendril hooked it, reeling it in to Lauriam, who grinned as he took it into his own hands.

A frozen fountain of ice erupted beside the plateau he was riding, and Vexen dismounted, pointing at him with a "YOU!"

"You," Lauriam said with a nod. "Vexen. Or is it 'Even' now?"

"Vexen," Vexen affirmed. "And it should never have been any different."

"You seek to face me?" Lauriam scoffed. "I know you too well, Vexen. Even with no apparent heart, you were a fool who was easily startled. The moment I show prowess, you will remember your past failure and run."

Vexen gave a smug chuckle. "Oh, Marluxia – "

"Lauriam."

"Is it, truly?" Vexen countered. "I'd hate to think that you refused to acknowledge your own true hollow nature, that you would throw away your accomplishments – unimpressive as they are – from the Organization in order to regain a previous pedestal. But no matter what your name is, you fail to realize the mistake you made in dispatching Axel to kill me. You see, that particular incident has left its scars. But only when it comes to Axel. You were too cowardly to do the deed yourself! Therefore, I have no fear of YOU and what YOU can do." Frozen Pride came to hand, signaled by a broadening smirk. "You know well what winter does to foliage, don't you, Lauriam?"

Lauriam scowled. "You know…I hate to admit when you are right. But my true purpose began when I implanted the Rapunzel flower into my own heart and lost it to the Dark. I was free of Manea's chains, free of Zhan Tiri – but these names mean nothing to you. So much you can never truly know, not even with all your meticulous scrutiny. Now, I have been reunited with that of my past before the Organization that matters – and yet you have enlightened me that the person I truly was only shone as I attempted to undermine Xemnas. So I will humor you. You, your friends, my associates, EVERYONE shall now refer to me as MARLUXIA!"

There was a massive, blinding glow of pure pink. When it cleared, Marluxia was no longer standing on the same plateau as Vexen. Instead, he was seated atop a great white vehicle, shaped like a figurehead of Manea herself, with wickedly-sharp scythe-blades three times the length of Graceful Dahlia protruding from it and slicing through the air menacingly. Aboard his new mount, he held the lantern aloft.

"Come and take it, Vexen," he dared. "I'm looking forward to actually witnessing your death this time."

A massive half-dome of ice went up around Vexen, shielding him from the clashing scythe-blades as he thought it through. "Obviously he thinks all the more magical brawn can outwit brain," Vexen muttered. "He's got to have slipped somewhere, if he thinks that contraption can do the work for him. But where is the weak point?"

His shield was cracking due to Marluxia's relentless battering. A few more strokes and the ice would shatter, as ice always does.

"Ah, yes…that's it." Vexen smiled to himself.

The shield was punched through, a cascade of icy shards. Vexen conjured himself a line of Blizzaga to ride across the rocky surface of the levitating platform that Marluxia was tailing, intentionally heading away from Marluxia's vehicle as he fed his magic into those pink blades. Marluxia kept pursuing, chasing Vexen from plateau to plateau, and failing to notice that his onboard blades were gaining a quite thick coating of frost.

"Oh, Marluxia!" Vexen stopped and stood stock-still. "If you want to give your all into finally removing me from the picture, then DO so!"

Marluxia pivoted the vehicle. Raised both blades high above Vexen. Brought them down quick, like a cobra's fangs.

Vexen put up his shield. Small, simple Frozen Pride. The two blades converged upon him, and Frozen Pride was the only barrier. Blades of that size coming down at that force normally wouldn't have let Frozen Pride stand in the way.

However, Vexen's ice had thoroughly infused the metal of the scythe-blades, weakening them exponentially. When both points came down upon Frozen Pride, the blades simply shattered.

In their wake, as Marluxia reeled, Vexen went on the offensive, conjuring a host of spiky, icy wheels to attack Marluxia. While Marluxia was diverted by throwing pink cyclones that spewed sakura petals at Vexen's projectiles, Vexen focused in on Marluxia, thinking to one of his more difficult magical abilities. Always, this had been a gamble to cast.

This time, however, he had a little more inspiration.

It used to be the Nobody emblem that appeared in the sigil. Now, the circle that ringed Marluxia bore the silhouette of Frozen Pride. Here, if Vexen concentrated, he could usually rip out spare Darkness for a temporary amount of time, create the most basic of replicas to be immediately discarded.

This time, in what was most certainly his own flash of brilliance, he didn't focus on the Darkness. He focused on his own ice. What resulted was a lot faster and more durable than the Anti-Marluxia that he would usually have been able to produce. A Marluxia made of ice stood tall behind the original, drawing back its own scythe –

The real Marluxia was on his feet, discarding the lantern over the edge so he could meet that blade with Graceful Dahlia's own. The ice form had the disadvantage of being much weaker, and its scythe was sliced right in two – but the lantern was out of Marluxia's hands and falling, which constituted a temporary victory.

Up came Gothel on the rise, an orb of blue Aura with chunks of raw magical energy floating within radiating around her. She caught the lantern, then soared upward, giving a dramatic twirl in the air.

"Oh, I could get used to this," she sighed.

"Well, you better NOT!" This came from Mim, who'd summoned up an aura of her own. Purple, with solid magenta bits of energy floating.

"Oh, please!" Gothel replied. "You have, what, a few centuries under your belt? You have no IDEA what you're up against."

"The bigger they come, the bigger the mess they make when I RIP THEM APART!" Mim shrieked.

Their auras collided with one another in an intense clash. Gothel threw an artful array of blue projectiles at Mim; Mim countered with randomly-dispersed blasts of violet that exploded in midair.

"Oh, Mumsie!" Mim jeered. "Forgetting about someone? Maybe someone you lost track of earlier, who might want revenge?"

"What, you mean Vernal?" Gothel scoffed. "She wouldn't work for you, and she's nowhere near able to match my level. I'm almost sure she's dead anyhow."

"WRONG!" Vernal dove from seemingly nowhere, slashing out with both wristblades. And with Mim holding all Gothel's attention magically, Gothel was hit with the full force of both weapons, sent flying into another rock face. The lantern was thrown high into the air.

"NO!" Gothel grabbed for it futilely as she regained her bearings. "But HOW? You were – "

It occurred to her that if she'd been actually slashed up by Vernal's unique weapons, she would be bleeding a lot more. Not just bruised.

"…not the real one," Gothel grunted.

Vernal gave a salute in the very act of transforming back into Hannibal Roy Bean.

"Let's finish this, Beanie," Mim suggested.

"I'd love nothin' more," Hannibal replied.

The lantern then dropped, and there was no Overtaker left to catch it on the veritable asteroid belt floating at the top of the cavern. Like a shooting star, it twinkled on its way back down to the bridge, nearly about to make a hard collision.

A clawed arm, the black of Grimm, whipped into the air, fingers tightening around the lantern's hook. Cinder, standing upon the bridge, reeled the lantern in, cradling it in her Grimm arm.

"I suppose…you want this." She flashed a twinkling golden eye, a coy smile at Roman Torchwick and Archibald Snatcher, who faced her down with weapons at the ready.

"And I suppose persuasion is off the table," Snatcher replied.

Cinder responded by hooking the lantern to one of the clasps on the right side of her skirt, then raising her arms high, clasping them above her head. A sword formed in them. Then that sword rapidly accumulated a lot more sword.

The final blade that Cinder conjured was several times her own height, glowing with burning ember. She swung it as easily as if it were a butter knife, swiping at Roman and Snatcher.

They went on the defensive, splitting up to evade. Roman ducked the blade while Snatcher avoided it entirely; they fired several rounds of ammunition in response. Cinder's blade moved swiftly to intercept every single shot, almost faster than the eye could see before it went back on the hunt for adversaries, leaving a fiery comet-trail in the wake of each stroke.

"I won't…let you take this…from me," Cinder growled. "I am…finally about to become…everything I ever wanted. I clawed my way…up from the bottom…when those who called themselves…guardians…stole my life from me. And now…this is what I finally need…to ascend!"

"I don't give one single, solitary SHIT!" Roman yelled back, taking shot after shot. "Are you seriously trying to tell me about YOUR tragic past? How this is going to fix YOUR life? No! NO! You don't get to fuckin' do that! Because in the process of trying to rebuild your life, YOU RUINED MINE! If ANYONE of the two of us needs a second chance, IT'S ME!"

"You have…no idea…what I've been through," Cinder growled.

"And I don't care!" Roman yelled back. "All I know is what I've been through, ESPECIALLY at your hands, and I'm DONE being on the losing side while pretending to have the winners as my patrons! I fought for you, I lived for you, and I fucking died for you! Now that I've got my second lease, I am NEVER being anyone's whipping boy again!"

"You…deserved…NOTHING," Cinder seethed. "You were only ever…posturing and playacting!"

"Now you hold it right there, Miss Fall!" It was Snatcher's turn to weigh in. "He worked himself to the bone while YOU sat back and devoured the spoils of his efforts, and you've got the AUDACITY to play the victim? I've died for my own cause only to find it hollow, and now on the other side, I've realized I'm through with the likes of YOU. Those who don't lift a finger but rather order about those willing to break their backs for a scrap of recognition – or, in Roman's case, a guarantee of survival!"

"Don't talk about…me…like you KNOW ME!" Cinder's eye widened, the flames around it flaring. "I was the one…breaking my own back! Until Salem…freed me! And now…I finally know…what it's like…to have ANYTHING of my own!"

"Ah, I see now!" Snatcher retorted. "Perhaps I've misread the entire situation. But Miss Fall, surely you don't expect me to have any sympathy for you making the exact mistakes I've made. After all, you see what your follies have done to my own. If your heart is set upon slaving for your White Hat for a decade or more until you finally die penniless, then by all means, proceed!"

"IT ISN'T…LIKE…THAT!" Cinder's eye-flame flared even brighter.

"Then tell me," Snatcher urged. "How has your benefactor responded to your recent rash of failures?"

"Yeah, how's that going?" Roman added. "Because I don't remember Salem being the most sympathetic of people, even to her own inner circle. But I guess like mother, like daughter. Well, you know. Like de facto mother, like wannabe daughter who lives in a delusion. And maybe, just MAYBE I'd feel sorry for you if you hadn't spent so many years PASSING HER ABUSE DOWN THE LINE TO ME AND NEO!"

"I'd've no sympathy for you either way, Miss Fall," Snatcher added. "Yet as it stands, you've caused irreparable damage to someone QUITE close to me, and we simply can't have that. Perhaps it's time for this Fall to be overtaken by its winter."

"Ooooh, good one!" Roman yelled.

Cinder felt her scroll vibrate from within her clothing. Transferring her sword into her Grimm arm (and sacrificing a little bit of dexterity for it), she retrieved it to see who was calling. Watts. Of course. "Not now, Arthur…" She swiped her thumb to hang up.

Before she could return the scroll to her gown, Watts overrode the phone function and answered himself on her device anyway, his face filling her screen. "You know I don't like being ignored, Cinder."

"I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING!" Cinder growled.

"I can see that!" Watts replied. "All the same, you'll need to know that the machine failed. As to be expected from WHAM ARMY construction. The do-gooders seem to have given up, though. I'll be meeting you at the rendez-vous point in – is that Roman Torchwick I see?"

Cinder spun to slice out at Roman, who'd skidded behind her, hoping to take her by surprise. "FUCK YOU TOO, SIR SHITTY STACHE!" Roman yelled.

"Oh, dear," Watts said with a chuckle. "Language. Who's that other fellow? I recall him from earlier tangles…"

"THAT would be Roman's new…BOYFRIEND," Cinder seethed with distaste.

"Really? Hold me out so I can talk to Roman directly."

Rolling her single eye, Cinder turned the scroll toward Roman, as well as her blade. As Roman ducked and dodged, Watts chided, "REALLY, Roman? You're so far out of his league it isn't even funny. And here I thought James had terrible taste."

"Shut the FUCK up!" Roman yelled. "You can come back and talk shit to me once you have the thing Archie and I have that YOU DON'T!"

"True love?" Watts said mockingly.

"No," Roman corrected. "An ass. Take as much pride in being a beanpole as you want; NO ONE is going to want to fuck a cutting board."

"He's right, you know!" Snatcher piped up. "Got a good look myself. You're quite lacking in the posterior." Then he flinched. "Not to say I was ogling or had a wandering eye – "

"No, no, don't even worry about it," Roman said back. "All the gay guys check Watts out. He's kind of a force of nature."

"Well, you do know you're MUCH more alluring," Snatcher called across.

"And you know he's full of shit," Roman added. "I am SO not out of your league."

"Why am I LISTENING TO THIS?" Cinder growled.

"Your voice seems better," Watts remarked.

"Now YOU know how it feels to be in the middle of a serious fight while your opponents are talking mush!" Roman crowed.

Cinder hurled her scroll over the side of the bridge in frustration, which didn't make Watts too happy at all, and seized her massive weapon's hilt with both hands. "I…have had…ENOUGH OF THIS!"

With a scream, she swung the sword around the battlefield more rapidly than before, round and round like a hurricane of fire.

Snatcher's reflexes were good enough; he knew to hit the dirt, flattening himself on the floor. Roman, however, wasn't so lucky.

Cinder's blade cleaved through him at the waist, separating torso from lower body in a spurt of crimson that spattered a five-foot radius. His halves thudded down to the bridge lifelessly.

"HA!" Cinder lowered her sword at last, her face speaking of near-insanity in her triumph.

"NO!" Snatcher was on his feet and dashing across the bridge, skidding to his knees hard enough to skin them, gathering Roman's upper half into his arms. "No, no, no…it can't be…you can't…"

"Awww, don't be such a baby," Cinder mocked. "After all, your sorcerer can just resurrect him, can't he?"

Snatcher desperately pressed the fragment of Roman closer to his own body. "No…it wasn't supposed to turn out like this…"

"What, no rage?" Cinder stalked closer to him, heels clicking on the bridge. In a hand behind her back, a serrated dagger forming. "No cry for vengeance? No vow that you'll pursuse me to the ends of the earth until I suffer the same fate as he did? You're pathetic."

"You…you didn't know," Snatcher sputtered, his tone soft. "You'd no idea what it was like…to love someone as him, the way I did…"

"Tell me." Cinder stopped just behind him, wondering when would be the best and most ironic time to make the final strike.

"We were in synchrony," Snatcher said, not even turning to regard the threat. "His light burned in my eyes…we were practically of one mind…you wouldn't find it conceivable, how much we shared…you'd never know, you couldn't fathom what it's like…not to love someone so terribly that you could always see through them. So transparently."

The dagger came out from behind Cinder's back, raising high.

"For instance, when they pretended they were in good cheer, they were broken on the inside. Or when they pretended to be deceased and you knew when to play along…or…or…"

Cinder nearly stabbed. Then the significance hit her. "Wait, WHAT – "

A pair of boots slammed into her shoulders. As Neo landed, knocking Cinder forward, she not only swiped the knife from Cinder's hand but also dispelled the illusion, revealing a perfectly alive and healthy Roman in time for him to rush past Cinder crossways, the Cudgel's hook reaching out.

As Cinder toppled, Neo stomping on her back and drawing her own sword, Roman triumphantly held the Cudgel aloft, the Relic of Knowledge hooked upon it.

"NO!" Cinder roared.

"See, I was afraid you wouldn't pick up on that one," Roman remarked.

"Well, we HAD discussed that exact charade as an option," Snatcher replied. "Do believe me, had you REALLY been felled, Miss Fall would've seen all that rage she spoke of and then some."

Neo drove her sword down, hoping to make it quick. Cinder, however, had other ideas; Neo was blasted away, toward the edge of the bridge near the Vault door, in a great fiery shockwave as the Fall Maiden rose into the air, surrounding herself with a sphere of radiant flame.

"NEO!"

"MISS NEOPOLITAN!"

Roman got to Neo just before she could be flung over the edge of the bridge, leaning out and threatening his own balance in order to seize Neo's wrist and pull her back onto terra firma. Her momentum nearly carried him over as well, but Snatcher latched onto his waist to haul them both back, the three spilling onto the bridge's tiles along with their hard-won relic.

"We are NOT doing that again," Roman scolded her. "Not after Beacon."

They were on their feet, Snatcher now protectively clutching the relic to his chest. Seeing that their side had seized victory, Mim, the Huntsman, Zorg, Hannibal, Miltia, and Vexen dropped down onto the bridge beside them.

"Get us out of here," the Huntsman urged. "We have what we came for."

"Right!" Mim conjured a Corridor. "Au revoir, Overtakers!" She bounded inside with a cackle.

One by one, the others followed: the Huntsman, Zorg, Hannibal, Miltia, Vexen, Neo. As a prelude to his and Snatcher's grand exeunt, Roman held up a middle finger at the entire Overtaker company.

"Perhaps should've thought about escaping once you'd had it in hand, then!" Snatcher taunted. "As it stands, it's not been a pleasure, and hopefully our paths shan't cross again!"

They spun on their heels.

And before their very eyes, the Corridor that waited for them shriveled up, a crackle of red-orange lightning forcing its borders to contract until there suddenly was no portal anymore.

"As we know, a Corridor can often lead to DEAD ENDS!" Jafar yelled before giving a high-pitched cackle.

Thanks to his magic, the supernaturally-generated exit was gone, and there didn't seem to be a new one opening from the other side anytime soon. Leaving them in the Vault chamber. Roman Torchwick. Archibald Snatcher. And the Relic of Knowledge.

"This is…not good," Roman squeaked.

"Less than ideal, I'd agree," Snatcher replied.

They both turned to see what they were up against.

It seemed the elevator was the obvious means of egress, given that Drakken and Vernal had only taken Mim's makeshift platform back up, leaving the original. Roman and Snatcher were positioned at the furthest possible point from the elevator, on the threshold of the door of the Vault proper.

Standing between the two of them and the only exit were as follows: Cinder, the Fall Maiden, surrounded by a sphere of flame; Gothel, the Spring Maiden, now surrounded by a sphere of golden ribbons of light with projections of flowers sprouting; Marluxia, having summoned up an immense tulpa of Manea bearing an enormous replica of Graceful Dahlia; Mercury Black, bracing for battle; Captain Hook, sword pointed menacingly; Tyrian Callows, smiling so widely it looked like his face might split; and looming above them all, the genie Jafar, summoning up still more bolts of flame and cosmic energy in his massive hands.

Even though Roman and Snatcher had been absent for the excursion with Deymos in which heart resonance was explained, they were all of a sudden sparked with it, knowing exactly what to do. This was by no means a safe field to traverse, nor would it be easy.

But not impossible.

Snatcher turned to Roman, extending a hand to him; "Shall we, Roman?"

Roman gracefully lay a gloved hand in Snatcher's. "Take it away, sweetheart."

And they began to dance with each other, gallivanting into the fray.

Together, they spun around the rain of hellfire that Cinder pummeled into the ground, their nimble feet evading each tiny comet of flame. On an instinct, Roman leaned back, his shoulders nearly touching the ground as Snatcher kept him anchored, and a massive comet of flame narrowly missed incinerating him on the spot. Snatcher pulled him back up and spun him before they proceeded.

Huge fountains of gold, like burning firecrackers, erupted from the floor at Gothel's behest, spurting deadly sparks. The couple aimed for the arch created by the space between two of the sparking fountains; now Roman was the one to playfully dip Snatcher low to the ground, returning both of them to full height once they'd passed through the minefield.

Marluxia's tulpa raised her weapon high, then slammed it on the ground, creating a pink shockwave of magic that threatened to tip everyone over. Snatcher and Roman leapt over it with matching dramatic kicks, landing on the floor once it had dissipated, twirling for effect.

Mercury, Hook, and Tyrian all raced toward them at once. Hand in hand, Roman and Snatcher whirled and ducked and sidestepped every kick, every stroke of the sword, every swipe of a wristblade, as though their opponents were their dance partners as well as each other. The relic shining in the light of the orange, gold, and pink explosions going off in their wake.

A red top hat and a black bowler hat nearly flew off, in the chaos. A nimble hand from each hat's owner caught their brims in synchrony, placing them back where they belonged.

Finally, there was only Jafar. He launched his projectiles; Snatcher and Roman managed to execute a twirl that took them through the only safe place on the bridge, the narrow isthmus between where the orbs smashed into the floor. In response, Jafar created an entire wall of flame to bar their path, forcing them to finally halt.

"YOU WILL COWER BEFORE ME!" Jafar bellowed, raising his arms high to summon up enough magic to go nuclear. "AND ABOVE ALL, YOU WILL REMEMBER THAT I CANNOT KILL YOU, WHICH MEANS YOU'RE ABOUT TO FIND OUT EXACTLY HOW MUCH YOU CAN LIVE THROUGH!"

Then a high-pitched screech rent the air: a war cry. Jafar froze, a chill running down his spine. Only one creature he'd ever known had made that noise, and he'd met it back before he was the exact thing it sought as prey.

The Mukhtar slid down the wall of the elevator shaft, bounding out of the green gate. He unleashed a pair of living manacles that hurtled through the air, clacking like toothy jaws until they seized Jafar's wrists – immediately dispelling every spell he had active.

"NO!" Jafar screamed. "STOP THEM!"

Cinder summoned an absolutely massive bow loaded with arrows, pointing it at the Mukhtar and letting fly. Gothel stamped both feet into the ground, causing lines of gold to emanate from where she made contact, racing across the bridge and curling like vines until they burst in plant form from the other side and wrapped around the lever that started the elevator rising.

The Mukhtar retrieved his lantern, preparing to capture Jafar within it, only to notice the ammunition headed toward him. He performed a flying leap, spinning in midair; while he was unharmed, the vessel he'd planned to use to capture Jafar was shattered by one of the arrows.

Meanwhile, Snatcher and Roman bolted for the elevator, which was rapidly rising without them. "We aren't going to make it!" Snatcher called to Roman.

"Oh, yes we are!" Roman yelled back, fastening the lantern to a belt loop beneath his jacket. "Spin and I'll lift you first; then I'll jump and you BETTER catch me or you sleep on the couch for a MONTH."

"Right! Wait, you're going to WHAT – "

"Just do it!"

One more time. Roman put out his hand, and Snatcher took it, spinning into him. From that momentum, Roman fastened his arms around Snatcher's midsection and hoisted him just high enough for Snatcher to catch the rising elevator platform; quickly, Roman transferred his hands to beneath Snatcher's shoes to boost him the rest of the way.

No sooner was he settled on the elevator platform than Snatcher immediately pivoted, reaching down without looking. Roman leapt high as he could, and at the last possible moment that it could've taken place, his hand caught hard into Snatcher's palm.

By this time, the Mukhtar had realized that these two were allies of his and enemies of the Overtakers. (They certainly had the hats Mozenrath had spoken of.) With his lantern broken, he could still capture Jafar – he had an amulet that would allow him to refocus a genie into a new vessel – but for that, he needed an object in mind. And as Roman hung off Snatcher's arm, the Mukhtar caught sight of what he had hooked to his waist.

Perfect.

Using a handspring to avoid the last barrage from Cinder, the Mukhtar withdrew the refocus amulet, holding it up to Jafar. In an instant and a scream, the genie was sucked through the tiny lens of the amulet.

He was expelled as a beam of red that pierced right into the Relic of Knowledge, binding him at least temporarily to that object in lieu of his own lamp.

Snatcher's other arm quickly seized Roman's elbow, and he hoisted Roman up with a yank of brute force. The Mukhtar's leap practically defied gravity as he landed beside them on the elevator, and seeing as he'd just incapacitated their most powerful foe, neither Snatcher nor Roman was in a mood to question the Mukhtar's loyalty.

The elevator rose out of the cavern, leaving the chaos of the Overtakers behind, and once Roman and Snatcher realized they were in the clear, they broke out into victorious laughter, embracing, kissing deeply.

"Sweetheart, we fuckin' MADE IT!" Roman crowed. "WOO-HOO-HOO-HOOOO!"

"I never doubted we would, my love," Snatcher teased, brushing back Roman's bangs and letting them fall right back into place.

"How touching," the Mukhtar scoffed, folding his arms and looking away. "I would be aware of the artifact you now possess. I know nothing of its original purpose, but it currently seals away a powerful foe."

"And…who are you again?" Roman asked sardonically.

"The Mukhtar," the genie hunter responded. "A bounty hunter in service of Mozenrath. Perhaps temporarily; perhaps not. I presume you are friends of his. You fit a description he gave."

"I should think we are," Snatcher said indignantly. "He wouldn't be half as high up as he is without us."

"Straight-up," Roman agreed.

"I was tasked by him to rid you of your genie problem," the Mukhtar said. "You're welcome."

The elevator deposited them in the now-empty Grand Hall of Haven. The Cinnamons had long since abandoned the area, so Roman, Snatcher, and the Mukhtar had a clear path to simply run free, heading outdoors and ducking down a dark side path until they were moving among a copse of trees en route to the WHAM ARMY rendez-vous point.

"I'm sensing a pattern here," Roman realized. "Why is it that right after we patch up a huge fight, we end up getting our asses saved by a lizard guy?"

"I've no idea," Snatcher replied. "Seems to be our destiny at this point."

The Mukhtar, in the lead, just snorted.

"Breather," Roman demanded, halting to lean against a tree. He flicked at the brim of his hat. "Well, I think it's fair to say it has been a hell of a night."

"I would not recommend stopping," the Mukhtar hissed.

"I, for one, am quite winded," Snatcher countered, "and if I understand the hierarchy right, I far outrank you. Lest you want Lord Mozenrath to hear about this, you'll let us rest."

The Mukhtar simply stood statue-still, knowing that Snatcher was right and also that he had to play chaperone in case an Overtaker caught up.

Bringing it up had made Snatcher aware of how much his lungs were burning, especially from that final dance. He leaned his own hand against a tree, then practically collapsed against it. "To be quite honest…I'm not entirely certain how we even pulled off that last bit."

"It's like you said," Roman told him. "We're in sync. Where you go, I follow. Where I go, I drag you along with me and you end up liking it."

"A quite apt description, my love." Snatcher wiped at his brow with the back of his sleeve.

Roman was suddenly much closer. "You gonna be okay there?" A playful smirk on his lips.

"I might improve faster with certain forms of non-standard medical assistance."

Roman understood the exact meaning, leaning in to press his mouth to Snatcher's, his hands following suit and tracing down the length of Snatcher's figure. Snatcher's own fingertips brushed over Roman, dancing down his skin.

"Anyone ever tell you that you're gorgeous?" Roman muttered once their lip contact broke.

"Not unless I was wearing a skirt, no."

"What did they say then? I wanna see how much of it is applicable across the board."

"Well…" Snatcher lookd to Roman mischievously as the two of them stepped apart. "There were those who would compare Madame Frou Frou to a fine brie."

"Huhhh." Roman thought that over. "You know, based on the one or two bries I've taken part in, I can see it."

"Oh, can you, now?"

"Yeah. And it's definitely you all-around, not just Frou Frou."

"Tell me more, my love."

"Let's see…raw," Roman remarked. "Dangerous. Maybe a little stinky…" A wink on that one. "But one taste and I'm always begging for more."

"Aren't you the vixen, my – "

BANG.

Wide-eyed, Snatcher reached up quickly, fingers clawing at the newly-made hole in his chest that poured a waterfall of blood. Then he collapsed forward.

This time, it was no illusion.

"NO!"

Roman was on his knees, and the fact that Snatcher was also on his knees and not flat against the ground was at least a sign that he'd survived. "No," Roman muttered as he reached out for his partner; "No, no, nonononono – "

"Who's done this?" Snatcher coughed, the bullet hole in his chest jolting pain throughout his whole body. "Who's DARED?"

There was a bullet somewhere inside of him right then, he knew it. And somehow he was still alive. Breathing was getting much harder, though. He'd been hit in the lung, which Roman was realizing.

"That would be me." A dark shape emerging from the shadows.

The Mukhtar braced for a fight, ready to lunge.

Captain Hook stood above Roman and Snatcher, pistol aimed down directly at Snatcher's head. "You'd think with such a large target, I wouldn't miss," Hook scoffed. "Rest assured, next one goes through his skull."

Acting on instinct, Roman seized Snatcher and pulled him close, his upper lip curling. In a low growl the likes of which Snatcher had never heard come from him before, Roman seethed, "Don't. You. Fucking. TOUCH. Him. I'll KILL you."

"No matter how many of us perish here, we're all coming back thanks to our death-defying masters," Hook reminded him. "What matters is who has the bauble, in the end. And you aren't really in any position to defend it, now, are you?"

Because of how close they were pressed, Roman could feel Snatcher's breathing becoming more ragged. Still, Snatcher urged, "Don't you give it to him. I'm not about to have been shot for NOTHING."

"Hand me our genie," Hook seethed through gritted teeth, "and I won't finish the job. Resist and we'll see how much blood we can all lose."

The Mukhtar was calculating the odds. Snatcher was in no position to fight and he was first on the shooting line. The odds that Roman could immediately spring into action if Snatcher died in front of him were hampered by several circumstances. Then there was the Mukhtar himself, who'd lost his sword against Adam, and who also realized that he was facing down not a melee weapon or a magical one, but a ranged weapon whose ballistics mimicked magic. Fast, unstoppable, and able to overpower any one of the Mukhtar's counter-magical tricks.

A dirty trick, and a coward's weapon.

The choice was easy, as far as the Mukhtar saw it, though it felt like running sandpaper over his own tongue to do so. He took two steps forward, swiped the lantern off Roman's waist, and held it out to Hook.

"Turn and run," the Mukhtar seethed, "and don't look back. Else our agreement is null."

"NO!" Snatcher protested. "You're NOT to – "

A wave of dizziness came over him, and he couldn't finish his sentence. Meanwhile, Roman could only muster the most venomous glare possible at Hook, without a word. The Mukhtar considered that fair game to proceed.

Keeping the gun in his hand trained on Snatcher, Hook snagged the lantern on his hook once more.

"To shoot you now would be incredibly bad form," Hook said sourly. "It is a temptation nonetheless. But I shan't tempt fate on this day." And with that, he turned and bolted back into the shadows, having claimed the prize for the Overtakers once and for all.

"Why?" Snatcher coughed. "Why would you – "

"The look upon his face was the same as the look upon your lover's when you fell," the Mukhtar hissed. "He has an attachment to that particular genie. Had I not acted, there would have been much more bloodshed, likely ending in him taking the lamp anyway. But rest assured…I will recapture that particular genie when the tables turn in our favor."

"Oh, gods…" Roman whimpered. "Okay, okay, I've been shot before, it'll be fine, I just need to remember – need to remember – what the hell, what the fuck do I DO – "

"Roman," Snatcher said sternly. "It's little more than a scratch. A mere abrasion."

"You were SHOT in the CHEST – "

"And I'll be right as rain so long as you let me – "

Before Snatcher could finish his sentence, he was overcome by dizziness, slumping forward and hitting the ground. He mustered up enough energy to state "I am fine" so that Roman wouldn't become a human embodiment of panic.

Well, that ship had already sailed.

"Okayokayokay," Roman mumbled. "Thinkthinkthink. Last time I took a bullet, I…I did something…do you take it out or leave it in?"

"Leave the implement," the Mukhtar told him. "And I would regulate the blood flow. He'll need to lie – "

"I got it, I GOT it." Roman assisted Snatcher in flipping onto his back, scanning the area for anything he could use as a prop to elevate his ankles, buy him more time.

A rustling in the brush. Roman flinched in fear; the last thing he needed was Hook coming back to decide he wanted to finish the job after all. Instead, what he got was Neo, bursting through the foliage and hopping up and down while pointing to signify that she'd found their wayward members.

"FINALLY!" Vexen cried as he and the others of the WHAM ARMY stumbled into the clearing. "And here we were thinking you'd WHAT IN THE NAME OF KINGDOM HEARTS HAPPENED HERE?"

"Shut the fuck up and HELP ME," Roman growled.

"The relic?" the Huntsman asked.

Roman pointed to the Mukhtar; "BLAME HIM!"

"You must be the Huntsman," the Mukhtar stated. "I was told to defer to you in particular. I serve Mozenrath. I am aware you do, as well." He took a knee before the Huntsman.

"I feel like there's a few bits of exposition gotta be traded here," Zorg pointed out.

"Later!" Vexen snapped. "Right now, we need to stabilize Snatcher and figure out EXACTLY what he did to get into this predicament. Or perhaps Roman is at fault here…"

"My aunt's place," Miltia stated. "She's got a room in back for this kind of thing. People getting hurt who can't go to the hospital for reasons."

"Then let's hurry," Drakken suggested. Vernal had abandoned him the moment they'd gotten aboveground, thankfully; he had no idea exactly where she'd gone, and to be honest, he was still wondering.

"Sounds like the wrong side made off with our relic, though," Hannibal brought up.

"I will beat you to an INCH of your life," Roman threatened.

"He means he'll do that if you go after the relic instead of helping out our friend," Mim chided. "I, however, will beat you to an inch of your life either way. Prioritize Mr. Snatcher and I won't even go easy on you."

Hannibal sighed. "Y'know I'm a sucker for your sadism. Don't expect to get out without a few bruises, though."

"Your bruise-leaving last time was woefully under par," Mim reminded him, "so I should hope so, this time. Now, off we go!"

In a whirlwind of purple sparkles, they all vanished from the Haven campus.

...

A/N: I want to extend a big thank-you to the folks at the Whumpshire Discord for helping me out with the last scene here, as well as what is to follow regarding medical treatment in the next chapter! Specific users who gave me inspo are Rosaline, Stabby-Vale, MarxFS, SidSky, and Peppermint Macha.

Anyway, yeah, just to clear things up – Samurai Jack as it happened in canon is in the prime universe for TBTC. The reason Mozenrath had to break into an entire alternate reality is so that Demongo and Scaramouche would even exist as they do. That reality's turning point is that in the S5 finale arc, brainwashed!Ashi actually killed Jack against her will, meaning Aku now just rules everything. But for how long…?