a/n: what's up! Three years later, some edits, and here I am. Updates will come eventually...


"Trickster?" I asked, not sure what to say.

"Yes, you dumb fuck." Karkat sat next to me heavily, "There is seriously a lot you need to catch up on."

He sighed loudly, glaring at me with his unsettling orange eyes.

My mind began going over John's actions the past few weeks.

"John really wanted me to do exercise, get out of the house, be social, I am not sure why, does that have anything to do with tricksters?"

"That's called a friend, he has no trickster motive behind that."

"Oh." I deadpanned.

"What about the cake baking?"

Karkat perked up, gave me a curious look.

"I mean...Have you eaten the cake?"

"Some. Not a lot.

"Ah damn." He gets up, "Well don't eat anymore, read the stupid journal and-" Karkat froze.

"What?"

Then I heard it, the tinkling of John's musical and soft sounding voice.

"Hide!" I shot up and pushed Karkat into my closet.

John was coming up the stairs, "Dave! You have another letter; do you want to open it together?"

What was this? Letter four? Five? I didn't know where the second letter was. I didn't open the other ones. I felt dumb and panicked now.

"Dave?" A knock.

"Come in." I sat casually on the bed, laying on my hip like a French girl posing for an artist.

Super casual.

"Hey Dave. How's it going? You finally moved from the couch." John remarked and came into the room.

He smiled, he looked happy, like the John I knew but not the one that I know. Karkat made Tricksters seem bad, like I had to figure out how to work my red eyes or whatever super-duper power against John. I hope I didn't have to kill him.

That would put a dampen on our friendship or whatever we had.

"Oh yeah. I was...uh...just cleaning a bit up in here."

"You sure are popular with all these letters."

John plopped down next to me.

"Could you get me some food John? I am getting a little hungry."

I wasn't hungry.

John's eyes lit up.

"Cake?"

My eyes widened underneath my glasses.

"...sandwich?"

"Oh sure!" He said without missing a beat.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." He went to the door, then turned around, gazing around, "You know you can invite guests over, right?"

"Yeah? Uh. Sure." I swallowed, trying to be cool.

"That's all. I'm glad you are feeling hungrier." He smiled and left.

When his footsteps faded Karkat came out of the closet, sweat on his forehead.

"Dude, you need to get out of here."

"I am being adopted by them; my papers are still processing."

"Dave!" Karkat whisper-shouted, "What. The. Hell!?"

I rage-whispered back, "Sorry! I didn't know about all this shit!"

"Fucking hell Strider, you really got yourself deep with this one. And I was going to let you read the journal before telling you...but maybe this is a little incentive to-"

He sighed, took a deep breath, "Your brother is still alive, but he is in a protection program run by-"

Karkat gestured then opened my window.

"Trolls that look like me."

I nodded slowly. Trolls. Bro. Dirk. Alive...?

"Anyways I'll message you. And please read. The. Fucking. Journal."

He disappeared with a crash, a swearword, and I looked out the window. The grey teen was gone.

"What was that?"

I almost jumped out of his skin.

"Oh- John. You scared me."

"Oh sorry. But why is the window open?" He smiled.

"Fresh air." I said.

Now that I felt like I was in danger, I suddenly felt less willing to die and more willing to stay alive any way possible.

I smiled at John and ate the sandwich quickly.

I needed all the calories I could get.