Thank you for all your interest in this story and your reviews. I have been truly amazed and delighted.
This chapter was originally two in one and the conclusion. It is not anymore.
5. Settlement
Mary and I walked together to Meryton quite early the next day, but not so early that Mr. Philips would still be abed. He liked to be within his office at daybreak, finishing tasks in the quiet of the day and as we could not safely leave Longbourn before dawn, we were assured we could not be too early.
Jane was already busy in the kitchen, her hair braided and pinned back, working on our daily bread. We told her where we were going and why. Mary invited her along, but I was glad when she declined, citing the making of the bread, for I did not want her to know all we would discuss with our uncle. I did leave a message for Jane to give to Mr. Darcy: should he appear before we returned, he should find us with Mr. Philips.
As Mary and I walked, we ate the ends of the loaves from the bread that had mostly been consumed the day before and discussed matters that had naught to do with the upcoming meeting. It was companionable as a walk with a sister should be.
It was well that we came early, for few people were about and it was easier to ignore how the few who were gave us wide birth.
Mr. Philips was of course surprised to see us, but when I began laying the whole matter out he expressed great relief. "I did not like the thought of you all going to that cottage. It is far too small, inadequate for every need, but of course you needed to live within your means. I shall do right by you, I shall negotiate the settlement myself and ensure that the terms for your support, for the support of your family are as comprehensive and sturdy as can be."
"Thank you, Uncle," I told him. "But beyond monetary needs, there are matters he is insistent upon that I do not believe I can abide. Personal matters, intimate matters."
As much as I was loathe to discuss such things with my uncle, I needed his help. Of course I had no plan to relate things in vivid detail. I started with easier matters.
"Yes, my dear?"
"He demands I never see my sisters again, save if they make respectable marriages, he insists on monitoring my correspondence, he wishes for me to lie to everyone that we are marrying for the deepest love, and..." I was uncertain I could get the words out. I looked helplessly at Mary.
Mary turned from me to our uncle and said in a steady and even tone, "Mr. Darcy insists that his martial rights shall be unceasing, that she shall people all of Pemberley if he desires it be so."
My uncle, whose facial expression had been smooth and bland through my prior recitation, wrinkled his brow, drawing his greying eyebrows closer together, at Mary's declaration.
"As to the latter," said he, "a husband is well within his rights to demand such. I am surprised at Mr. Darcy, however, for discussing such a matter with you. It is not a thing done. Let me at least reassure you this far. A man's capacity to act on his desires frequently lessens as he ages, and what a man says and what he shall actually do are seldom one and the same.
"Let us address the former concerns, shall we, and the reasoning he likely has behind these demands. If his concerns can be amply addressed, the specifics can then more easily be adjusted."
That made good sense to me. Mr. Philips had only begun to plan how to address Mr. Darcy's concern with avoiding any further appearance at scandal and his concern for my loyalty, when the man himself appeared. After a quick exchange of greetings, to which he did not seem to attend, he turned to me, his jaw tense, his shoulders tight, and asked "Have you decided to accept then?"
I gave a slight nod and I then saw the tension drain from him then; he relaxed, seemed more at ease within his skin. I explained, "Yes, if suitable terms can be agreed upon."
Mr. Darcy replied, "All shall be arranged as you like for your family. I rather think for the good of their reputations it would be well if they went away, if the youngest assumes a married name."
"I agree," my uncle declared and soon Mr. Darcy turned from me and engaged in a convivial conversation with Mr. Philips. They discussed suitable accommodations, what sort of lodgings could be secured away from Meryton and with very little debate decided that Bath was a promising choice, and then if my family settled there, the likely costs attending a suitable accommodation. They quickly made headway and agreed on what seemed to me a more than ample number, also arranging for their temporary residence at the Meryton Inn.
Next they considered the amount to be settled on me. Uncle seemed pleasantly surprised that no reductions were made to the total to accommodate the outlay for my family's support and that a goodly dower house awaited me, if needed after Mr. Darcy's passing. Indeed, they agreed upon all the terms quickly as it seemed Mr. Darcy was deposed to be generous.
Mr. Darcy seemed so reasonable and accommodating with my uncle, so pleasant in his demeanor (there was nothing of his intensity like before, so much so that I kept asking myself: Is it really he? Does he have a doppelgänger?) that I had much hope about what could be accomplished for me. Apparently, he then thought our discussions were at an end, saying "If that is all, I certainly must go see the parson; I should like to be married tomorrow first thing."
"There are a few more matters," Uncle Philips noted. "Lizzy tells me you are insisting on some rather onerous personal conditions." Uncle Philips puffed up his chest and straightened as much as he could. However, even seated, he was still significantly shorter and less substantial in body than Mr. Darcy (although Mr. Philips certainly had a splendid corporation compared to Mr. Darcy, who was lean and fit).
"Young men seem to feel that marriage gives them the right to demand whatever they wish, but let me give you some advice, giving way to the womenfolk where you can, helps lead to a happy life. We understand you have some serious concerns that must be addressed, but some leeway must be given."
Mr. Darcy looked none-too-pleased, but did not interrupt. He stated firmly, but not unpleasantly, "My offer on these other things is non-negotiable." He sat back and crossed his arms, pressed his lips firmly together as if that were his final word on the subject.
My hope tumbled.
"Excuse me," Mary spoke for the first time since the exchange of greetings when Mr. Darcy entered the room, "Mr. Darcy, if I may, what do you like best about our Lizzy?"
The look that crossed Mr. Darcy's face was, well in a word, cross. But to a lesser degree than when Mr. Collins had importuned him at the Netherfield Ball and introduced himself. He did deign to answer, however, in his deep rumbling voice.
"Many things, Miss Bennet. Your sister, Miss Elizabeth, is clever, thoughtful, has a keen sense of humor, is well mannered, cheerful, and can talk in a most charming way. Her devotion to others, the eldest Miss Bennet when she was ill, to her whole family," he then dropped his voice lower before adding while narrowing his eyes, "how little some of them deserve it," before returning his face to its previous expression and resuming in a normal tone, "is most pleasing. And she has the loveliest eyes."
As he said the last, he stared at me with frank admiration before looking back at Mary. I felt through his look he was telling me that there were further things about my figure that he admired.
"So," Mary rejoined, "how well should you like her if she was forever morose, dull, sad?"
Mr. Darcy wrinkled his brow in momentary confusion, but then his eyes cleared as he seemed to absorb her hint. However, Mary did not assume he understood her and explained herself.
"You see, Mr. Darcy, I believe you would be working at cross-purposes, if in enforcing your requirements for Lizzy, you made her miserable, killed her spirit. Can you not, perhaps, allow her certain things, at small cost to yourself, to give her happiness?"
Mr. Darcy turned to me and said, "Perhaps...perhaps, I can bend a bit." Then he looked at Mary and my uncle and said, "May I please speak to Miss Elizabeth alone?"
I could tell my uncle did not like to leave me alone, but he consented on condition that Mr. Darcy on his honor should not do anything untoward. Indeed, he left his office door ajar while he took Mary outside with him.
I wondered which Mr. Darcy I would meet now that there was no one to observe him. Would the hard, cruel man of yesterday assert himself, or would he remain the more amiable man of today? Mr. Darcy picked up his chair and placed it facing mine. He plucked my gloved hands up from where they rested on my lap, and squeezing them lightly. As his dark eyes blazed, he declared in his deep voice, the voice that could make me tremble, "Miss Elizabeth, know this and know this now. While we may, perchance debate the contact you shall have with your family, I shall not bend on the marital duties I expect of you. I am quite resolved on what I shall expect."
I colored, was silent. For the last six months, I had been so dull, so sad, a mere observer in my own life of drudgery. My spirit had been repressed, almost entirely missing. The Elizabeth who roundly rejected Mr. Darcy at the Hunsford parsonage would have never just listened to such insults as I had heard yesterday, never so blandly accepted what he said.
I had a choice to make then, how would I behave? If I just gave way to Mr. Darcy, I had a feeling that I would be under his heel my entire married life. Yet, I needed the benefits to him that marriage would bring. It was a conundrum to decide how to I should attempt to balance on the edge of this knife and not get cut. How was I to do it?
I steeled myself, mustered my courage, plucked my hands loose, stood up and declared, "Yes, I shall marry you, Mr. Darcy, but I do not want the kind of marriage you spoke of. I want you to respect who I am and what is important to me. I know you are a hard man, a selfish man, who is used to arranging people as he arranges pieces on a chest board, but I shall not be diminished to a pawn, have no wish to live as an empty-headed, broken doll with no purpose but seeing to your pleasure."
At first Mr. Darcy seemed amused by my little speech, but when I paused to take a breath and he began to rise, I put a hand upon his shoulder and lightly pushed him down. Of course I was no match for his strength and he easily could have gotten up anyway, but he paused, perhaps curious as to what I would do.
I declared, "I did the honor of listening to you yesterday, shall you not do me the honor of doing the same?"
Gravely, he inclined his head and settled himself back in his chair.
"I never conceived that your second proposal could be worse than your first, that my would be husband should remind me of the degradation that I daily live, tell me he desired me against all reason and then tell me he expected me to be nothing but a plaything for him. I never thought he would declare that he would tell me the unvarnished truth about the ugliness in his heart, but demand I live a lie.
"There is much I can do to try to make you happy, I can always be respectful of you, I can never complain of you to the servants, to our neighbors, treat you with the deference that all husbands deserve, even freely welcome you to my bed, but I will not give up my sisters, I will not lie every second of my life.
"You demanded the appearance of love while rejecting that there could be any love between us. Then with all your conditions you have both guaranteed that I would resent you but be fully incapable of ever expressing my feelings. Such a horrible fate it would be for both me and you.
"If you wanted a simpering woman, who would flatter and fawn, I am certain Miss Bingley would be willing to accept your terms. But I am not Miss Bingley, and I rather thought you liked me because I am not her.
"It is very unfair of you to fully foreclose the possibility of that there could ever be any love betwixt us both. You declared that you no longer love me and that I could never love you, but I have heard it said that even in a marriage formed purely for convenience, that even then, love might grow. I cannot say that I shall ever feel that way for you, but if I am forced to be bound to the lie of saying it is so, I believe it would then be impossible."
I did not know what to say after that, paused and panted at the effort it had taken to get all those words out. Mr. Darcy smiled and said, "Now there is the Elizabeth that I remember; the woman who has passion in her heart. Now what exactly do you want?"
I must have seemed flummoxed in that moment, for never did I think that he would ask me that. But given such an opportunity I quickly made up my mind about what I should request. "I want to freely write my sisters, mother, aunts and uncles, all of them. I want at least Jane and Mary, perhaps Kitty, too, to be able to visit me. If they cannot come to our home, if I could but see them once a year at the Gardiners's home in London, I think I could be content. I want to tell you what I am thinking and feeling.
If I can have these things, you shall have earned my loyalty. If you want me to show a lie to the rest of the world, think that will help them understand why you stooped to marry so low, I will do that."
I expected Mr. Darcy to tell me it was all impossible, that things would be as he had declared they would be the day before. But instead he said, "Very well, so long as we marry tomorrow morning."
