The truth
Anna stood in the middle of the room, waiting for her parents to say what they needed to say. The way they were behaving didn't sit well with her, and she was dreading what was to come.
Idunn looked at her into the eye and said, "We do. We know Elsa. She..." A deep breath interrupted her. She knew talking with her daughter about the past was not going to be easy. However, she knew she couldn't beat around the bush anymore. "She's our daughter."
Agdar flinched at Idunn's words. He had hoped Idunn would change her mind and say something different, but he didn't expect her to be so straightforward. Anna, on the other hand, was paralysed, she didn't know how to process what her mother had said. She tried to come up with a reasonable explanation to why her mother would say something like that. Elsa being their daughter didn't make any sense.
After a few seconds in silence, Idunn tried to get a reaction out of Anna, "Dear? Do you understand what I mean?"
"I understand the words…" said Anna, who was still trying to comprehend how it could be possible. "I'm not sure I understand what you mean. If this is a joke, I swear I-"
"It's not a joke, Anna," cut in Agdar, who finally dared looking at her in the eye too. "We are sorry we kept this from you." There was no point in denying the truth anymore.
"How is it possible? It doesn't make sense." Using the table to support herself as she sat on one of the chairs, Anna tried to voice her thoughts, "Elsa is… What?"
"Our daughter," Idunn moved from her place to the chair next to Anna. She sat down and rested her hand on top of Anna's, which was still holding the table. She knew it was going to be hard for Anna to process the truth, so she gave her time. But Idunn knew she needed to explain this situation better before Anna began jumping to conclusions. The conversation was going to be a difficult one, but it was time they tried to make up for their mistakes; being honest with their younger daughter was the first step. "Your father and I had a daughter before you. Elsa. We hadn't seen or heard about her until tonight."
"I can't believe this." Anna's mind was trying to come up with reasons that could justify why her parents hadn't told her about this or why they had abandoned a child in the first place, but she couldn't. Elsa, the shy girl she had met as her sister-in-law, was her sister. 'I'm Elsa's sister...' thought Anna as she felt a wave of nausea at the implication that her parents were the ones who had abandoned Elsa. The ones responsible for the life the girl had had to live before the Bjorgmans. Even if she was not sure what had happened to Elsa in the past, The way Elsa behaved whenever her past was brought up give Anna the idea it had been bad. She knew Elsa's lack of education was just the tip of the iceberg. "Are you sure this Elsa is your daughter? It could be a coincidence. The name an- and the orphanage. It's possible-"
"When I first saw her this evening standing next to you, I felt there was something strange. She looked familiar," interrupted Agdar.
"Then she mentioned she was adopted… She mentioned Romsdal." Idunn tightened her hold on her hand. "I realised at that moment. I knew it was her. All of a sudden her eyes looked at me the way they had years ago. They haven't changed."
"Something similar happened to me," continued Agdar. "The orphanage she mentioned rang a bell in my head. But instead of keeping quiet like I should, I freaked out."
Anna noticed the shame in her father's eyes and finally understood his outburst earlier that night. Both her parents had realised at dinner they were talking with their daughter. "That's why you reacted the way you did…"
He didn't raise his eyes from the floor, "she was sitting there, right in front of me, telling me her childhood had been the opposite of what I had wished for it to be. Telling me the person we had left her with was a bad man." He built up his courage and looked at her, "I had to believe she was mistaken. I had to. I wanted to believe the girl with the sad look on her face was not Elsa, not our Elsa, but-"
"But then she lost control of her powers and we knew. There was no mistake," said Idunn, who was trying in vain to dry the tears that had escaped.
Anna stayed silent after her parents confirmed Elsa was their daughter. What called Anna's attention was they hadn't been surprised about Elsa's powers. They hadn't been shocked at the display of ice magic like she had, they had been shocked to see it was indeed their daughter who was sitting in front of them. They had used them as a confirmation of Elsa's identity.
'Could it be that they abandoned her because of her powers?' thought Anna, who then mentally slapped herself. It was impossible. There had to be a different reason.
"Why would you abandon your own daughter? You need to explain this to me," Anna's vacant expression was changing. She no longer felt lost, but a feeling close to anger was taking over her body. Her parents were not only telling her they had lied her whole life, they were openly admitting they had abandoned a child in another city too.
"It's only fair we do," said Idunn as she began telling Anna the story of their youth. For the first time was willing to tell Anna the truth about their family and her relationship with Agdar. She planned on talking about every single thing they had hidden. Anna had always been a curious girl, she had asked questions about their youth before, how they'd met, where they'd studied and all the adventures they had had together. Every time Anna had asked one of those questions, they had answered as close to the truth as possible, but always being careful not tell her anything about Elsa. This time was different. This time she began her story telling Anna everything she needed to know, including the story of Agdar and his father. Idunn explained he had always disagreed with their relationship and he had forbidden his son to date people that didn't reach his standards for years. Idunn reflected back on that time, and everything they went through back then.
Agdar was in Romsdal's college studying business when he met Idunn. He wanted to show his father he got what was needed to help in the family business and one day inherit his company. He often disagreed with his father's decisions but there was nothing he wanted more than to make him proud. At least that was his aim until he met Idunn, a simple girl from Romsdal who worked at the college cafeteria. Both of them fell in love faster than they had imagined and they believed they could enjoy their romance without worry. They both believed they could work out the details of their relationship in the future, after Agdar could prove his father he was an important part of the family business.
However, life had other plans for them at the time. Only a year into their relationship, Idunn got pregnant. Young, inexperienced and with Agdar's father against their relationship, things became hard for the young couple. They talked about their options in regards the pregnancy, and they agreed to keep the baby. After all, their main problem was not the pregnancy itself, it was money.
Agdar's family had enough money to help them out, but it was impossible for the young man to ask for money without giving his father a reasonable explanation. And telling him the truth was off the table. If he had come to his father's office claiming he was going to be a father out of wed - with a common girl from another town - his father would have made him choose between the Arendelle family or his bastard child. Agdar believed it was best to let his family know once the baby was born, after he had finished studying and he had a stable job to support the baby.
Idunn believed it was best to come clean and accept whatever his father said. But at the same time, she didn't have a plan if Agdar left her. She didn't have a family who could help her, and working was going to be impossible with a newborn baby. That's why Idunn chose to trust Agdar and follow his plan. She continued working and Agdar studying. Both of them cut expenses as much as possible and saved money for when the baby arrived.
The first months were uneventful, giving the couple the impression they were going to be able to do everything on their own; but that ilusion didn't last long. Idunn got sick on the fifth month, and even though the illness was nothing to worry about, it forced her to stop working and to find a doctor for regular check ups. The doctor's appointments cost more than they were able to afford. Even with Agdar finding a part-time job, money didn't seem to be enough to pay for Idunn's medical care.
When thing got out of their hands, and Agdar was about to call home and explain what was going with his life, a co-worker mentioned something about a doctor willing to provide free health care to women who accepted to be studied during their pregnancy. The doctor, Mr. Weselton, was carrying out an investigation on pregnancy and its stages, and he needed a mother and baby to follow and test during the pregnancy.
Out of money and ideas, the couple agreed they could give Dr. Weselton a chance. The tests sounded weird to Idunn, but they thought that being under constant care of a doctor was going to be better than anything at all. And they had to be thankful the man was willing to pay for everything, even Idunn's hospitalization when the baby arrived. After an interview with the man and a brief explanation of his procedures, they agreed to participate in the investigation. Weselton was a really dedicated doctor who kept a close eye to Idunn' and the baby's health. Agdar had to admit he was a little eccentric at times, but he had been the only one lending them an understanding ear. He not only helped the young couple with useful advice about babies; he had even allowed Idunn to stay in a room in his clinic a few days before the delivery, to make sure she and the baby were okay.
After some very stressful nine months, a white-blonde haired girl was born. Elsa. In Idunn's opinion, Elsa looked too small and fragile she was afraid something was wrong with her. But Weselton assured them everything was okay. They stayed in the clinic for two more days after Elsa's birth where Weselton did a few last check-ups, and then the couple was allowed to go back to their apartment.
At the beginning, everything seemed perfect. Elsa was quiet and peaceful, even more than they had imagined a newborn could be. But after the first month, they began noticing Elsa was not like other babies. For starters, she was constantly cold. It didn't matter what Idunn used to wrap her with, Elsa's body was all the time cold. In general, she was a quiet baby, but whenever she began crying, the temperature around her dropped. The couple wanted to believe they were crazy - that it was impossible for a baby to make a room colder -. But by the second month, little Elsa began creating ice and snow around her. She began freezing her crib and Idunn was forced to stop breastfeeding her due to the cold temperature.
Afraid of the worst, they took Elsa to Weselton. They believed the good doctor was going to be able to give them some answers about Elsa's strange condition but, to their dismay, he couldn't really explain why Elsa was born the way she was. He did explain about children who were born with strange abilities. He told them about the academic articles he had read in the matter. He confessed though; he had never heard about a baby creating ice at will. He suggested running some tests on Elsa, to which the couple agreed.
The tests resulted inconclusive, making Elsa's condition a mystery. Seeing the couple's worry, Weselton suggested they left Elsa under his and his clinic care permanently. He had the resources to give the child a good healthy lifestyle, and make sure she had everything she needed in case her abilities grew. He insisted it was best if the baby stayed in the clinic 24-7 taking into account the risks of raising a child with an ability as strange as Elsa's. All the time the doctor focused his suggestions on the baby's best interests and tried his best to convince the couple.
Agdar and Idunn understood his concerns and they knew the risks of raising Elsa on their own but they didn't agree with his suggestions. Elsa was barely two months old and they didn't know if her condition was permanent. They thanked Weselton for his care and support during the pregnancy and explained they were not willing to give their baby up just like that. Idunn was convinced they were going to be able to raise Elsa perfectly fine on their own, even if her "powers" as they called them proved to be a challenge.
Elsa's powers became a challenge faster than they imagined, though. After the sixth month, things became more and more difficult. Elsa began freezing their room and making snow inside their small apartment resulting in severe health problems for Idunn and Agdar. The money was becoming an ever present problem in their life, and they soon realised they were not going to be able to give Elsa the care she needed in that situation.
As a last resource, Agdar travelled to Trollheim and told his father the truth. He confessed he had been in a relationship with Idunn for over two years and he came clean about Elsa. Before he was able to tell him about his baby's condition, his father lost his patience. He condemned Agdar for his actions and gave him an ultimatum. Agdar had to forget about Idunn and the baby, and he had to return to Trollheim, to finish his studies there under his careful watch. Or he could forget about the Arendelle family and their help. He was going to be on his own from then on.
Not knowing what to say or do, Adgar promised his father an answer for the end of the week and returned to Romsdal. He had just a couple of days to decide but he needed Idunn's opinion on the matter - of course he didn't let his father know that asking Idunn was his intention -. With a broken heart and more problems than expected, he travelled back home to talk with Idunn about their options.
They tried to come up with a solution to their imminent problem once Agdar returned. They talked about their options and tried to come up with the best scenarios where they could stay together, keep Elsa and find a solutions to their economic problems. But their future seemed bleak. Every option forced them to leave something behind. After discussing for almost two days, they agreed they were not willing to break apart. They were going to find a way to make enough money to support their dysfunctional family along the way.
Agdar was ready to call his father and give him his answer, when Elsa froze Idunn's arm. Idunn cried in pain and, out of instinct, let go of the cause of the pain. Making Elsa fall to the ground. Agdar jumped from his chair to check on his daughter who, luckily, had created a pillow of snow. The fall hadn't hurt Elsa like they feared, but they realised at that moment that Elsa's powers could be dangerous. Not only for themselves, but for Elsa too. They realised that without proper care, anything could happen to them or Elsa. Elsa's accident forced them to see they were truly out of ideas, and her powers only continued to grow stronger, becoming more and more dangerous in the process.
At that moment, out of fear and lack of options, they changed their original plan. Even if it caused them great pain, they chose to leave Elsa in the hands of Weselton. The doctor had promised to take care of her, which was exactly what they couldn't do anymore. From their experience with the man, they knew he was going to have the baby's best interests in mind. After all, he had kept track of Elsa's development from the beginning. Their only problem was they had cut contact with Weselton after their last meeting. They had left his clinic claiming to take care of Elsa without his help; not calling the man ever again. They couldn't show up asking - begging - for help after that. Besides, they were not sure if a man as decent as Weselton was going to be okay with their idea of leaving Elsa under his care for a couple of years and then return for her, when their situation improved. Agdar and Idunn had agreed to keep fighting for a better future together, even if Agdar had to return home and they had to leave Elsa behind. The plan was for Agdar to return home and for Idunn to move to Trollheim. Idunn was going to find a job and save as much money as possible while Agdar finished his studies and found a good job, in his father's company or any other company.
To make sure Weselton took Elsa in, and to avoid any problems; they waited till the last day they were staying in city before taking Elsa to Weselton's healthcare centre, they knew the facility worked as an small orphanage for kids too; so they knew there was going to be someone at all times to pick Elsa once they left her. They thought the best option was to leave her in the doorstep, with a simple note and her name. They didn't want to face Weselton, sign any papers nor give Elsa's documents to him. They were not sure, but they believed they had better chance to claim Elsa back if they kept her papers with them. After all, their plan was to get back on their feet and return for the girl once they could take care of her the way she deserved.
With pain in their hearts and a silent promise, they left Elsa in a small bassinet in the orphanage's door and went to Trollheim, hoping to change their luck and return as soon as possible for their daughter.
It was the middle of the night when Idunn finished her story. She had had trouble explaining their decisions to Anna, but she had made sure she told her the truth. Agdar had helped her in some parts of the story and had given his own justification for his decisions and his actions at the time. He hadn't felt sure about letting Anna know their story at the beginning, but once Idunn started, he understood his wife's motivation and joined in. Talking had proven to be cathartic for both of them and they felt the need to continue until everything was out; until Anna knew everything they had kept to themselves for over twenty years.
"Elsa was ever present in our mind, but we needed to wait till the right time to get her back at the time," finished Idunn. She knew there were many things to explain yet, but at least she had answered her daughter's question. They had explained their reasons for leaving Elsa behind.
Anna kept quiet for a minute, processing everything her parents had told her. She had always imagined they had had a simple, uneventful life; however, they were there telling her everything they had gone through. What she had believed to be a terrible joke at the beginning was now a truth she couldn't avoid. She had an older sister. She had an older sister who her parents had abandoned.
"How old was she?" asked Anna when she found her voice. The question had come out harsher than she intended, but she guessed it suited the way she was feeling.
The tone Anna used caught Idunn and Agdar by surprise. They had been waiting for Anna to say something - anything - but they hadn't expected her to sound angry and disappointed. They couldn't expect Anna to be okay with their actions, but to hear her talk to them like that hurt more than they imagined.
Angered by they silence, Anna repeated the question, "How old was she?"
"Ten…" murmured Idunn. Not knowing what else to say.
"Ten?"
"Ten months old," clarified Agdar.
"Are you really trying to justify the fact that you left a ten-month-old baby in a doorstep in the middle of the night?"
"I know it sounds bad-"
"It doesn't sound bad. It is bad! It is awful!" interrupted Anna with disgust.
"You have to understand. We didn't have an option," counterbacked Agdar, feeling helpless.
Anna tried her best to calm down. Breathing a few times, she chose to give her parents the chance of the doubt, "can you look me in the eye swear you didn't have another option?"
Both looked anywhere but her eyes. They wanted to say they didn't, but the doubt had always remained in their minds.
"Oh, my God!"
"Anna, please," begged Idunn. "We are not proud of what we did, but at the time it was the best for Elsa."
"How can you say that?" Anna said with frustration. "She was just a baby! She needed her family! I don- Why do you think it was the best for her?"
"Because we were young, inexperienced and we-"
"You were young and inexperienced when I was born, why was Elsa any different?" she knew she was being a little too harsh with her parents, but the thought of a baby Elsa all alone in a doorstep make her heart sink.
"Anna, did you see what she just did?" said Agdar exasperated. He needed Anna to understand. He needed his daughter's forgiveness. He had lost a child for his own stupidity, he didn't want to lose another.
"I can't believe this!" That was it, her father had said what she was afraid to hear.
"Anna…"
"You abandoned her because she was different?!" 'Different…' the word echoed in her mind as she remembered the conversation she had had with Elsa just a week before, 'Gerda helped me see I was not a nuisance just because I was different.' Realising what Elsa had truly meant that day broke Anna's heart now that she knew Elsa's fears were true.
"No! That was not it!" exclaimed Idunn. Tears streamed down her face. "We… we tried, Anna. We really tried but we were young, we didn't have enough money and… Elsa…" she paused to breathe. "She needed someone who could take care of her. We were not prepared."
Anna was torn. She wanted to believe her parents and to think they had done the best thing. But having heard about Elsa's miserable childhood made it hard for her to accept it. Not to mention she could have had a sister if they had tried a little bit harder. "I don't know what to think."
"I'm not saying what we did was right," tried to reason her mother. "But, please, try to think we did it with the best intention."
The three of them kept quiet. Each lost in their own thoughts. The true was out and it was tearing their family apart.
Anna was the first to break the silence after a few minutes, "you need to apologise. You need to make things right." She was not sure if it was or not for the best. But in her opinion, Elsa needed the truth.
"I don't think that's a good idea, Anna," said Agdar. "How do you expect us to just walk into her life and-"
"You need to fix this shit," anger clouded her judgement once again. She was tired of her parents trying to run from the truth. "She was all alone for thirteen years until Gerda and Kai took her in. The least she deserves is an apology."
"Anna, some things are better-"
"You have to apologise and make things right. I can't keep this secret from Kristoff, you know that, right?" After saying it out loud Anna remembered her boyfriend and the impact this was going to have in his life, too. 'Oh, God, Kristoff. He was so scared for Elsa and for what we were going to think… How will he take this?'
"Can you forgive us?" asked Idunn one last time, hoping to hear a positive answer.
"I- I don't know. It's- This so messed up. I still can't believe what Elsa did tonight was real… And now you guys… This is a lot to take in." Anna put her head in her hands hoping for all of it to be a dream. "I need to lay down," she said, suddenly standing up and leaving her parents alone in the dining room for the night.
Kristoff woke up early the following day. He hadn't been able to sleep for more than a couple of hours. He had laid down in his bed the whole night, but what had happened at Anna's replayed in his head over and over again. The more he thought about it, the more he knew he could have helped his sister before she lost control. He could have avoided the situation they were living, but he had messed up.
He also knew that running after Elsa in the middle of a snowstorm and forcing her to calm down hadn't been the worst of it all. He still needed to explain what had happened to his girlfriend and his in-laws; and he was not sure how Elsa was going to react once she woke up. Waking up after being drugged was always difficult for Elsa. Her mind always tricked her to think she was in some place different than she actually was; and this time, he knew it was going to be even harder for her. Because this time, instead of relaxing after knowing she was in a safe environment, she was going to remember the incident. She was going to realise she had failed at keeping her powers secret. Something she had been trying her best to do for ten years.
He looked at the time again, and seeing it was a few minutes past seven, he got up. He knew there was no reason in trying to fall asleep. He knew Elsa was going to wake up soon. He wanted to be up when that happened.
He wasn't surprised to find his mother sitting in the living room, which was just a few meters from Elsa's room. He was sure she hadn't been able to sleep either. She knew how important it was to be near Elsa when she woke up confused, and knowing his mother's love for Elsa, she surely had stayed alert to be with her in an instant.
When Gerda noticed his presence, she waved at him and patted the cushion next to her, inviting him to sit with her for a while and talk. They hadn't been able to talk much the night before. Kristoff had just showed up in his parents' house late at night with an unconscious Elsa in his arms. He had explained - frantic with worry - that Elsa had lost control; but he hadn't had the chance to explain why it had happened. Kristoff sat down beside her and, before she could ask, he began talking and explaining. He told Gerda about Elsa's insistence in not attending dinner, the dinner itself and the moment everything went downhill. He told her about the argument between Agdar and Elsa; and he told her about his stupid mistake of forcing Elsa to stay in the table, even when he knew she wasn't feeling okay. He explained the accident and everything after until he reached their home. Kristoff was ashamed of the decisions he had made the night before, but he needed his mother to know.
"kristoff…" said Gerda trying to come up with the right words to help her son feel better. She noticed the guilt he was feeling and his worry. "I don't know what to say," she confessed after a few seconds.
Kristoff looked at her with sadness. "What's there to say? I fucked up." He took a deep breath and continued, "I didn't help Elsa get out of there and now we are in this mess. I wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't forgive me."
Gerda had expected Kristoff to be worried for many things at the moment, but he being worried about sister's forgiveness hadn't crossed her mind. She gave him a tender smile and hold his hand. "Don't be ridiculous, Kristoff. Elsa would never blame you for any of this."
"You mean she will blame herself?" asked Kristoff. "That's even worse."
Gerda desperately wanted to tell him it was not true, but she was going to be lying if she said Elsa wouldn't blame herself. She knew her daughter was going to have a hard time accepting what she had done. She could only hope Anna's family would be understanding.
Kristoff interrupted her train of thought when he continued, "I've never seen Elsa so scared before. I didn't know what to say to help her calm down… I wish I hadn't need to drug her like this."
"You did the right thing given the situation, sweetheart." She squeezed his hand reassuringly.
"I drugged her against her will in the middle of the street… Right in front of Anna." He could hear Elsa's begging in his head. "The more I think about it, the worse I feel."
"We've talked about this, Kristoff. It's for the best sometimes. Even if we don't like doing it."
He raised his head ready to contradict her, but they had argued about it many times before. And sadly, he knew it was true. "I just wish… I- Damn it."
She noticed a tear roll down his cheek as he slumped back. Gerda understood his frustration and his fears. She knew he didn't like sedating Elsa, but he was not crumbling in front of her for that reason only. Kristoff was fearing for his sister's well being now that someone outside their family knew. What it meant for Elsa. What it meant for his relationship with Anna. A conversation had spiraled into a bigger problem in the lapse of minutes the night before, and what was going to happen was still uncertain. "C'mere," said Gerda, hugging him tight and letting him rest his head in her shoulder. "I know things look bad right now. But everything will be okay. Don't you worry about your sister. She is safe with us. And don't be too hard on yourself. You did what you thought was right."
"Thank you for always being there for us." Kristoff hugged his mother tighter. Trying to show how much he needed her comfort right at that moment. "I know we are broken and we only cause problems but-"
Gerda detached herself and forced him to look at her in the eyes. "You are not broken. Don't ever say that again. Not you nor Elsa. You are the best thing that could have happened to Kai and me. And we'll always be here for you."
Kristoff could only smile at the affection and sincerity in Gerda's eyes. He hugged her once again but their embrace was interrupted by Kai, who had stepped in the room just a moment before.
"Gerda?" he said, calling their attention. "I think Elsa is waking up. It'd be better for you to stay with her now."
"I'll check," said the old woman standing up. "Would you mind preparing breakfast for us in the meanwhile?"
"Not at all," answered Kai, as he watched her disappear into Elsa's room, closing the door behind her. He then turned to Kristoff. He had heard part of their conversation but there was something he didn't understand."Kristoff?" he called his attention.
Raising his head, Kristoff noticed his father was still standing there, and not in the kitchen like he had imagined, "yeah?"
"Why did you force Elsa to stay last night? You know her better than anyone on that matter."
Kristoff knew his father's question was well-intentioned, but he couldn't help but hear some disappointment in his voice. "Because I'm an idiot. She excused herself - like I suggested her doing hours earlier - but I panicked and stopped her."
"You panicked?"
Kristoff didn't want to admit to his father he had always tried to impress his father-in-law. He had a lot of respect and admiration for the man, and he wanted to prove he was good enough for Anna. Kristoff knew he behaved differently in Agdar's presence - even Elsa had noticed - but he didn't feel comfortable admitting it. Kai and Gerda had worked hard to make him and Elsa understand their past didn't rule their future. And he didn't want to disappoint his father. However, seeing there was no logical explanation for his actions the night before, he confessed, "I didn't want Anna's parents to think any less of Elsa or me. I know it's stupid, but I was afraid Agdar was going to lose respect for us."
"Kristoff, we've talked about this… if Agdar thought any less of you after an argument he started, then that's his problem. Not yours. And especially not Elsa's."
"I know. I- I just wanted the argument to stop and for them to apologise." Kristoff knew Kai was right, but he had noticed how much Elsa enjoyed Anna's company, and he wanted them to be good friends. He wanted his in-laws to like and accept Elsa just as much as they accepted him.
Kai extended his hand to help him stand up, as he said, "I understand. Just remember you and Elsa are as good as anyone else. Next time, let Elsa set her own boundaries, okay?"
Kristoff nodded and accepted his hand, standing up. The two of them walked into the kitchen to prepare breakfast and keep their mind occupied.
Elsa woke up and recognised the drowsiness she felt and the pounding in her head. She knew she had been drugged, but she couldn't remember much about the day before. Her heart rate accelerated as she tried to figure out where she was, but to her relief she was able to recognise the shelf opposite to the bed when she opened her eyes. The stuffed animals Gerda had gifted her when she'd moved in with the Bjorgmans were looking at her; letting her know she was in her old bedroom. She groaned as she felt a too familiar sickness take over her body. She knew the dose of Benzodiazepine had probably been too strong this time, and her body was feeling the effect. She tried to sit, but a warm hand stopped her, caressing her hair. The gentle touch belonged to Gerda, she knew - so, she closed her eyes once again and let her body relax. She was not sure what had happened, but if her mother was there, she could rest assured she was safe.
"Elsa?" asked Gerda after watching her daughter close her eyes again. "How are you feeling?"
Elsa opened one eye to look at the old woman sitting by her side and muttered a simple 'hi'. She knew something had happened the day before, it was the only explanation for her to be waking up there, and for Gerda to be looking after her. But for some reason, she let herself enjoy the feeling of being oblivious, at least for one more minute.
"Are you okay?" It was not normal for Elsa to be so at ease after an anxiety attack, and her attitude worried Gerda. She just hoped Kristoff hadn't used more drug than necessary.
"I feel a little sick," answered the girl as she sat on the bed. With a crestfallen expression she asked, "What did I do?"
The tiredness in the girl's voice gave her the idea Elsa had given up. As if she knew that whatever had happened to her had been her fault, and she was merely waiting for the answer. It broke Gerda's heart to think that she couldn't give her daughter another answer. She couldn't tell her she hadn't done anything this time. But there was no point in lying or delaying the inevitable. She sighed and held Elsa's hand in hers before telling her what Kristoff had told her minutes earlier.
Kristoff and Kai could hear Gerda talking in Elsa's room, and they could feel the temperature in the house dropping. They knew Elsa was reliving what had happened the night before. Years of living with Elsa had got them used to the idea of the temperature changing inside the house at any time, however, it didn't mean it was any easier for them. Especially now that they knew the reason behind it. Both men knew it was best to let Gerda calm Elsa down before going into the room.
An hour later, Gerda entered the kitchen with a sad look. It was all Kristoff needed to know Elsa was not taking it good.
"She wants to talk to you," said Gerda, looking at Kristoff.
Not saying a word, he stood up and walked towards his sister's room. When he entered, he saw Elsa lost in thought looking at her hands. Even with her head down, he could notice her red puffy eyes. Kristoff cleared his throat and muttered her name.
Elsa looked at him and her face contorted with pain. Fresh tears rolled down her face, "Kristoff... I'm so sorry, I-" a sob interrupting her apology.
Kristoff rushed to her side, putting his arm around her. He knew Elsa was crying her frustration and he wanted her to know he was there for her. Since Elsa had joined the family, her life had revolved around keeping her powers under control. Working hard to live a normal life without them getting in the way. For years, she hadn't been able to leave their parents' house out of fear of hurting others; little by little she had found the courage to insert into society and doing things around other people. Moving to the mountain, where the contact with people was more controlled, had given her the chance to find a good balance between being part of society and being on her own. And after six years without an accident, she had believed she had finally found the strength she needed to control her powers. The accident in Anna's house was a slap in the face for the girl. Serving as a reminder that she was not ready. That she still couldn't be trusted around normal people, and it hurt more than Elsa had imagined.
Elsa hugged her brother tight as she cried. There were so many things she needed to say. She wanted to apologise, to beg for Kristoff's forgiveness. After all, she had probably ruined his relationship with Anna's family by almost strucking Idunn. She had probably lost Anna's trust too. There was no way the girl was going to accept her after what she had done. She had managed in a simple dinner to lose the only friend - beside her brother - she had, and probably ruined Kristoff's life in the process. The more she thought about it, the more she cried, not being able to talk and apologise like she wanted.
"Don't apologise, Elsa" he begged. "It's not your fault. Please calm down." He knew his words were not going to have an effect on her in that state, but he needed to try. He needed Elsa to see he didn't blame her. He had no idea what the future hold, but there was something he knew for sure, whatever happened was not his sister's fault.
After a minute, she calmed herself down enough to say, "I ruined everything."
"You didn't ruin anything." The incredulous look on her face force him to elaborate, "I left the house with you yesterday, so I haven't talked to them yet. So, let's not jump to conclusions. I'll explain what happened. They'll understand. You'll see. I know we can trust them." Kristoff didn't know if he was saying it to reassure Elsa or himself. He didn't know for certain how Anna's parents were going to react, but he desperately needed to believe his words.
Elsa detached from him and dried her eyes. She had finally calmed enough to discuss their situation, "they won't be okay with someone like me being around their only daughter, Kristoff." Looking at her hands with disdain, she muttered, "I hope they don't hold a grudge against you for this…"
"If they do, then maybe they are not the right family for me."
Alarmed by his brother's words Elsa turned to look at him, "don't say that! You love Anna. I know it would crush you if you were forced to stop seeing her because of me."
"That's true," admitted Kristoff. "But I know Anna, and she would never let this fall apart because of an accident. That's why I know they will listen and try to understand."
Looking at her hands again, Elsa thought of how close she had been from striking Idunn. "It's hard to ignore fear, Kristoff. If her parents or Anna don't feel comfortable around a freak like me, there's nothing I can do but accept it."
"They shouldn't fear you. You are not dangerous," he couldn't stand Elsa talking about herself like that.
Elsa didn't dare say anything. She couldn't find in herself the strength to believe she wasn't dangerous.
"Do you hear me?" he forced her to look at him. "You are not."
Kristoff's certainty gave her the strength she needed to reckon she was not. "What would I do without you?" It was not the first time she'd wondered about it.
Seeing the perfect opportunity to lift her spirits, he answered, "you would eat a lot of pickled herring. There wouldn't be anyone telling Gerda how awful it tastes."
Elsa laughed wholeheartedly knowing it was true. And Kristoff joined her. There were still things he wanted to talk with her. He still needed to apologise to her, but what was the point of doing it right at that moment. They still had a lot of time.
I apologise for the long wait. I hope you enjoyed the chapter.
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