Seek the truth
Weeks went by, and even if things had calmed down in Elsa's life, and she now spent her days studying with Anna, training with Marshall, and enjoying her brother's company whenever he had days off; there were still several things hanging over Elsa's head. The big picture seemed to show her life had gone back to the way it was before the accident. Though, during the calm - almost lonely - moments at home, she couldn't help but think about the way things were changing around her.
Week after week her relationship with Anna was becoming stronger. The two of them had not only found a peaceful routine they could enjoy, where Anna helped her with her studies and Elsa in exchange taught her about life in the mountain; they had also begun to trust in each other, sharing their worries, their problems and relying on one another whenever they needed a shoulder to lean on. Week after week they were acting more like sisters, and Elsa was torn by the idea.
On one side, she had found in Anna a confidant like only Kristoff had been to her before. On the other, however, she still was unsure what to do about her real parents, and she constantly worried if the relationship she had been able to build with Anna could come to an end if she didn't do the right thing.
True to her word, Anna hadn't said anything about her parents or the letters, giving Elsa all the time she needed. But still, deep down Elsa knew she was silently waiting for her to do something and finally let everyone know if she was willing to give her birth parents a second chance. It was true she still didn't feel entirely comfortable with the idea of the Arendelles being her parents, but pushing Anna away by not making up her mind was the last thing she wanted to do.
From the start, she believed she was doing Anna a favour by not calling her sister. After all, she didn't want Anna becoming uselessly hopeful. But the more Elsa thought about her sister's patience - when being patient was not something that characterised the girl - the more her conversation with Marshmallow came to mind. Making Elsa fear Anna would reach her limit and run out of patience. After Marshmallow had so bluntly put into words the possibility of Anna getting tired of waiting, she had started to think that, maybe, giving Anna some hope wasn't the worst thing that she could do.
Some days, when both girls were peacefully studying together, Elsa found herself trying more familiar nicknames in her mind. Sister. Sis. Day after day, those nicknames were growing on her, and she almost caught herself saying them out loud once or twice. Still, there was a part of Elsa that couldn't do it. She couldn't look Anna in the eye and call her her sister if there wasn't even the slightest chance of giving her biological parents a chance. She wanted to spare Anna the disappointment in case everything went downhill.
The whole situation left Elsa with only two options: continuing to ignore the fact Anna had gradually become her sister, and hope she would continue to be patient. Or, reading Idunn's letters once and for all, finally finding out the truth about her past.
There were several nights during those weeks when she had stayed up wondering what was best for her to do. And with every sleepless night, an idea was beginning to grow on her, as she was getting tired of uselessly trying to find a solution to her dilemma.
It was for that reason that, now, after becoming tired of turning in bed once again, Elsa had gotten up and was standing in front of the bookcase where she had hidden the letters all those weeks ago. She thought for a moment what was really best for her to do. And walked away from the bookcase. She picked some logs and threw them on the hearth.
Summer was just a few days away, so there wasn't really a need for her to burn wood uselessly but, opposite to what her family believed, she liked the fire and the heat. She wasn't sure if it was because her body and skin were always cold, or the fact she hadn't had contact with fire until she was fourteen years old. But despite the reasons, she enjoyed the crackling sound of burning wood and it helped her think and relax whenever she was feeling overwhelmed.
And right at that moment, she was feeling overwhelmed and she was sure she could use the soothing sound to help her mind find some clarity. She had finally made up her mind about reading Idunn's letters, and part of her knew she was taking a risk. There was no guarantee things were going to change for the better after she opened those letters, but part of her knew she couldn't keep ignoring the truth anymore. It was time she found out more about her parents' life and made up her mind.
Sadly, the task proved to be harder than it looked. Her mind and heart were torn and she could still list several reasons to go back to bed and forget her idea. She could find a way to continue living without those answers; but the truth was, there was going to come a day she could no longer ignore her past, and it was best to face it before she lost Anna, or things became too complicated between both families. Kristoff was also part of that mess, and she couldn't ignore that.
"They're just letters, Elsa," she murmured to herself. "You'll find the answers that you need and you'll be able to move on. Just open them."
With a sigh and a trembling hand, she picked the letters from the bookcase. She hadn't touched them since the night she had put them away, so she guessed they were still in the correct order for her to read. She sat down on the floor, near the fire, and carefully opened the first envelope in the pile with an old hunting knife that was lying around. She took a deep breath before she began reading.
The first letter wasn't addressed to her - or anyone in particular -, and to Elsa's surprise, it began without an introduction. Out of nowhere, Idunn had begun telling what seemed to be a story. She wasn't sure what she was expecting to find, but a story was not it. Out of curiosity, she continued reading, and it was only after she was a few paragraphs in that Elsa realised Idunn was talking about her life. And more particularly, her younger years. In a strange way, Idunn was able to talk about her life in an objective way. She had a way with words that kept Elsa hooked to the story, helping her forget she was technically reading about her biological mother. Before Elsa realised what she was doing, she opened the second letter and the third, one after the other. Every letter seemed to be a chapter in Idunn's life and it was difficult not to continue.
In her letters, Idunn talked about her life, her job and the when and how she met the love of her life. How his family had ignored her existence and how her boyfriend, Agdar - as long as Elsa was aware since she never mentioned him by name - had always tried for his father to accept her into the family. She explained how the couple had found a way to stay together in spite of the adversities, and how they thought they could find happiness together regardless.
'Everything changed, however,' explained Idunn towards the end of the third letter. 'When you came along.' For the first time, she was addressing Elsa directly, making her come back to reality. Up until that moment, she had been so absorbed in the story, she was surprised to become a protagonist. Suddenly finding herself in the story was something that didn't set well with her, but she had already made up her mind and her curiosity pushed her to open the following letter, and the next, and the next.
It was a relief to notice Idunn didn't play the victim, nor blamed her for the things she had lived during her pregnancy. Instead, she talked about it as a happy, hopeful time for her, even if Agdar's family had constantly tried to break them apart. She stated facts and tried to show with words the way she had felt during those times, allowing Elsa to live through her past and letting Elsa understand things from her point of view.
With every single letter, Elsa found out more about Idunn's past, and consequently, about her own. Learning Idunn had been younger than Anna when she got pregnant came as a big surprise. Elsa thought Anna's parents looked young - younger than Gerda and Kai at least - but she'd have never guessed they were barely over forty. She tried to put herself in Idunn's shoes for just a moment, and the idea of being pregnant with almost any money was something that triggered anxiety. She knew from experience how hard it was to live by with just enough money for bare necessities and adding a baby in the mix was surely a bad idea.
Another great surprise was finding out Idunn had also been sick during the pregnancy. And what almost made her stop reading the letters abruptly, was realising the doctor who had taken care of her mother and her own birth was no other than Weselton.
She felt anger at the fact her birth parents had deliberately chosen to seek Weselton's help and then leave her in his hands. She cursed the stupidity of Idunn and Agdar's younger selves and cursed Weselton for ruining her life from the start. Every single doctor who had tried to help her after she escaped Weselton's clinic had insisted it was not possible for her powers to be natural. And Idunn's letters were doing nothing but proving that to be true. She could have had a better life - at least a powerless one - if only Weselton hadn't treated her mother. The idea made her feel sick and she had to drop the letter for a while. Weselton, or whatever God existed, had taken her childhood and her real family from her. And she hated that realisation.
After calming down and drying the tears that had escaped her eyes, she picked the letter once again and continued reading. She had already read too much to stop, and she needed answers. Idunn had explained their main idea had been to get back on their feet and then return for her, which was yet another shock for Elsa. But she was the child in the story, and she knew they had never returned. And now she needed to know why. She needed an answer to finally know what to do about her birth parents. Seven letters in and she was still torn about what to do about her real parents. Part of her wanted to face them and let them know how incredible stupid they had been for trusting someone like Weselton, yet, a different part of her wanted to listen Idunn talk and explain in more detail everything she was not saying in the letters.
The story continued with Idunn explaining their life after leaving Elsa. Bitterness crept in her heart whenever Idunn mentioned the good things about those years; but the feeling soon disappeared, however, when she explained there was always a part of them missing too.
A dry laugh escaped Elsa's lips when she read how close her parents had been to retrieving her. Only for life to stop their plans once again with Anna's pregnancy. She could only be comforted by the fact Agdar and Idunn had learnt from their mistakes and they had done what was right for Anna. She was happy to know they had allowed Anna to live a happy life from the start.
When Elsa thought the story was coming to an end, she found out Idunn and Agdar had tried to find her for a second time. And that time they had done everything in their power to get to her. Idunn even listed the orphanages she had visited in hopes to find her. Every hardship, every sleepless night was written down, proving Elsa they had in fact spent several months looking. Their search came to a stop, however, when they were told in Trolheim to stop looking since they risked losing Anna too.
In her letter, Idunn explained how strange it had been for her to accept that since every other institution had tried to give her as much information as possible, and not once had they mentioned such a risk. Elsa agreed with Idunn on how strange it was all the other orphanages had tried to help them find her, except Trolheim's. And all of a sudden a realisation came to her mind.
She put the letter aside and looked in the previous letters for any dates Idunn had mentioned. She marked and counted months and years, and matched them with the ones in her own life. She returned to the last letter and did the same work. And to her misery, it all added up. If Idunn wasn't lying, they had been in the orphanage at the same time. She had been a few rooms away from her birth parents, and the nurses had lied to them. There was no way they wouldn't have thought of her. There was no way someone could be so incredibly inept in their job to miss it. Unless… They had been working for Weselton.
In an outburst of heartache and anger, she let her powers manifest, hoping letting go of the ice and snow could help her with the pain in her heart. She pulled her legs closer to her torso and she hid her head between her arms. She was crumpling the letter in a tightened fist, but she didn't care.
She cried her heart out as she let the snow storm engulf her completely. They had been so close to get her back. And what was worse, if they had had the chance to find her, she wouldn't have suffered all the things she had in Weselton's clinic. She wouldn't have been abused and mistreated; she wouldn't have hurt a nurse in the process. All her worst nightmares could have been avoided if only the employees in Trolheim's orphanage hadn't sold their soul to someone like Weselton.
It was only when the storm receded and she felt like she could breathe again, that Elsa found the will to finish reading the letter in her hand. It was difficult for her to read the crumpled paper now that her storm had put the fire down. Once her eyes adapted to the new darkness in the room, she was able to discern the letters and continued reading.
She had been expecting to read more about her biological mother's life after their visit to the orphanage. However, contrary to what she had imagined, the last part of the final letter addressed her directly.
'There was so much I needed to say, I didn't know where to begin. I wish I didn't bore you with my past.' It began. 'I'm telling you this story, not for you to feel as if you should forgive me. I know I've lost the right to call you my daughter years ago, though I wish I still could.' The tears that had only stopped mere seconds before, started falling down her cheeks once again as she read her words. 'I'm telling you this story because you deserve to know who you are, where you come from and who your parents are, Elsa. I know writing to you won't erase the pain and fear you must have felt all those years alone. I know it's not enough. But right now, I can't think of anything else to do. I feel so much pain, shame and guilt. Your happiness and well being was always my priority, and only now I realise how wrong my actions and decisions were. All I wanted to do was help you; and in the end, I ended up doing the opposite.' Elsa took a deep breath trying to control her feelings and stop the snow from covering the letter in her trembling hands. 'I feel there's nothing I can do to fix those mistakes. So, the only thing I can do is say I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for the pain I've caused you.' Elsa stopped reading to dry the tears that wouldn't stop falling. Idunn's words seemed sincere and she felt a relief she had never felt before. As if a heavy weight was being lifted from her shoulders. 'I know I have no right to ask any favours of you, but I'd like to hear your story... I wish you could let me in and share your life with me. I'd like to get to know you. I love you, Elsa. I always did.' And with that last line, Elsa lost the remaining composure she had.
She hugged her legs close to her body and rested her forehead on her knees before allowing herself to cry as much as she needed. She felt as if someone was standing on top of her chest, painfully crushing her heart, barely letting her breathe. This time it wasn't fear or disappointment, like it usually was; this time it was pure, unutterable sadness. She was missing a life she had never had the chance to live, and her heart could barely stand it. She had been so close to living a normal life, but life - or Weselton to be exact - had always pushed her in another direction. All the pain and suffering she had gone through had been nothing but a crazy man's whim.
The last letter had shaken Elsa to the core. Reading Idunn's words made her remember how much she had wished for someone to tell her those things during her time in the clinic. How much had she needed someone to find her and tell her she was loved. And here she was finally reading those words. Finally knowing someone had cared about her whereabouts all that time.
She couldn't ignore the fact someone had shown up in her life and helped her, though. Gerda had been the person who had helped her stand up when she was ready to give up, and she had let Elsa know she was loved. She couldn't ignore that. But for some reason, reading those same words coming from Idunn had a completely different meaning and impact on Elsa. Making her feel happy and guilty at the same time.
She stayed where she was in the dark for what seemed like hours, simply letting the snow fall and her tears dry on their own. It wasn't until she noticed the first rays of sunlight through the window that she realised she was supposed to meet Anna in just a couple of hours and she hadn't had any sleep.
She picked herself up from the cold floor, and collected all the letters which were scattered on it. She took a moment to skim the letters once again and arrange them. Something told her it was not going to be the only time she was going to read those letters, and she needed them to be in the correct order.
When she reached the last letter, however, she took the time to read for a second time Idunn's words. Idunn's words had shaken her so much, she hadn't really paid attention to her request towards the end the first time she read it. But now that she was more calm, she could really pay attention to it.
She wasn't asking for forgiveness like Elsa had originally thought she would. She was merely asking for her to open up and tell her story. To share her past and let her in.
Elsa chuckled humorlessly, and wondered what Idunn thought her life had been like, for her to be able to explain her story as she so simply put. Idunn's request was ridiculous in Elsa's opinion. She couldn't just sit down and write everything she had lived. The pain was too great and the memories too vivid, transforming the task into mild torture. She had already shared her past with Kristoff, Anna, Kai and Gerda; but that didn't mean she was ready to share it with her biological parents yet.
However, there was nothing stopping her from sharing a different part of her past. A part of her life she rarely talked about. Thinking she could spend a night without sleep, she soon forgot about heading back to bed and walked straight to the kitchen table. She looked for her notebook and pen, and sat down. She wasn't sure why she felt the sudden need to write, but she followed her instincts and began writing what first came to mind.
Ever since Gerda had adopted Kristoff and Elsa, Saturdays had become her favourite day of the week. Days that used to be dull and simple had become entertaining and exciting once their children came into her life. From the very beginning Saturdays had been filled with common stories and family projects. Every weekend they found something different to do and something new to learn about each other. And even if her children were now adults and no longer living with her, she still could count on one of them to give her a reason to enjoy her Saturdays in a different way. Just like Kristoff was doing that morning.
Early that day, her son had surprised Gerda and Kai both with a visit during breakfast. Gerda thought he was merely stopping by before heading to the factory, but to her happiness he had planned to stay with her once his father left for work, and prepare lunch together.
Gerda loved those sudden visits and even more when they turned into cooking classes to his son. Kristoff had always been interested in learning how to cook - contrary to her daughter - and teaching him every tip she knew was one of Gerda's favourite activities. What she loved the most about those moments, however, was the conversations she could share with him during those moments; because it was there that she could really get to know her son. She had found out about his relationship with Anna - before it was official - during one of those opportunities. She had gotten to know the real Kristoff through them too. And she treasured every single one of those memories.
It was for that reason that, once they were settled in the kitchen working together, Gerda took the opportunity to ask her son how things were going in his life. After all, her instincts told her there was a reason Kristoff had shown up without a warning that morning.
"What's on your mind, dear?" asked Gerda, while she checked the recipe to make sure they hadn't forgotten any ingredient.
"How did you know I wanted to talk about something?" His incredulous face made her smile. He was a grown up man, but she could still see the expressions of that little boy she adopted.
She stood by his side while he chopped the onions and commented, "You chose to spend your free day cooking with your old mother rather than going to the mountain or somewhere exciting."
"I enjoy spending time with you…"
She could hear his hesitation. "And?"
A smile appeared in his face and he closed his eyes in defeat. "And I need advice. Your opinion, really, about something."
With a pat on his shoulder, she encouraged him to share his worries. "Don't beat around the bush then. What is it?"
"I want to be on good terms with Anna's family again." He stopped to put the chopped vegetable inside the pot and handed it to his mother. "I think Anna deserves it, but…"
"Have you got mixed feelings about the Arendelles?" asked Gerda, already knowing the answer.
"Yes." She watched him gather his thoughts until he explained. "And I feel as if I would be betraying Elsa too. Is it okay for me to give her parents a chance before she does?"
"You've got the right to spend time with your girlfriend's family if that's what you want, dear."
"The thing is, I'm not sure I want to. I don't know what to do," confessed Kristoff. "They left Elsa on her own when she was a baby." He began using the knife with more force as he explained the way he felt, and Gerda couldn't help but worry for his fingertips. "I feel as if I'd start arguing with them as soon as we see each other. And I don't want that to happen. Anna doesn't deserve it."
"Why don't you let me continue with that?" suggested Gerda, asking for the knife. To her relief, he handed her the utensil and he sat on the stool by the counter. Gerda could understand his predicament. He was standing between the two most important girls in his life and either thing he chose could end up hurting one or the other.
She couldn't blame Kristoff for being angry with his in-laws. She had been mad with them herself, and from time to time it was hard for Gerda to remember the reasons why she had forgiven them. But Kristoff was usually a compassionate person who could easily put himself in someone else's shoes. It was strange to think he hadn't done it with the Arendelles yet; especially if he wanted to be on good terms for his girlfriend's sake. That's when she realised that, maybe, he hadn't heard their side of things. "Have you heard their story?"
"Whose story?"
"Arendelles'," clarified Gerda. "Their story and reasons to leave Elsa behind, I mean."
He looked at her, intrigued. "No. I left before they had the chance to tell me anything. Have you?"
Gerda nodded. "They are not monsters if that's what you're worried about. They made stupid mistakes, I won't deny that." She soon explained to let her son know she didn't justify their actions. "But I think they are just victims in Weselton's play."
"Did they know Weselton?!"
Thinking it was best to explain everything to Kristoff and help him understand how complicated everything surrounding his sister's life was, Gerda offered, "Let's finish cooking and I'll tell you everything they told us."
As it was usual, the city bus stopped in the North mountain's parking lot mid morning. Anna thanked the driver, whom she now knew was named Oskar, and got off. She rearranged the bag on her shoulder and started walking towards Elsa's house.
The trail was considerably long but she enjoyed walking it every weekend. It had become part of her routine, and she enjoyed observing the way the trees changed around her every passing week. She smiled knowing the shinny shades of green were letting her know Summer was just a few days away. And that meant she was just a few days away from finishing her academic year. Just a couple more tests and then she was going to be free for a couple of months. And she already knew what she wanted to do… She had already talked with Elsa about the possibility of her spending another week on the mountain, and to her delight, she had agreed in a heartbeat. Anna was excited for that week to come. The two of them, together with Kristoff and Marshall were going to explore the valley and go camping near the most beautiful mountain rivers. Activities she had never had the chance to do due to her father's overprotection. Nonetheless, she still needed to make sure she finished several things before that week came. She still had to pass two finals to be able to enjoy her summer holidays to the fullest, and also make sure Elsa finished with the compulsory curriculum for her tests. So then, when they returned after their improvised holidays, she could sit down and help Elsa practice and study, making sure she was ready for the tests in the first weeks of Autumn.
Anna came out of the forest and walked into the glade surrounding Elsa's cottage. She smiled when she noticed in the distance the older girl sitting on her front stairs, looking at the sky absentmindedly. Whatever she was thinking about was distracting enough to allow Anna to get to the cottage without Elsa noticing.
"Say, what's in your mind?" she said, cheerfully.
Eyes opening in surprise, Elsa looked at her. "Anna!"
"You were miles away. What were you thinking about? Or better yet, who?" She laughed at Elsa's unamused expression. Making fun of her older sister had become one of her most treasured pastimes, and Elsa's annoyance the best reward.
"I was just enjoying the day," answered Elsa, ignoring Anna's remarks. "It's a nice morning, don't you think?"
Looking around, Anna had to agree. The sun was shining and the sky was clear. "Yeah, it's a beautiful day." When she looked back at Elsa, she was once again looking at the sky, and Anna soon noticed she hadn't really heard her answer. "Are you okay?"
"Sure," she said with a small smile. "Why wouldn't I be?"
"You just seem to be in a brown study."
"A... what?"
"Distracted."
"Why don't you say distracted then?" asked Elsa, faking annoyance.
"It won't kill you to learn an idiom or two. But, seriously, are you okay?"
"I am." Elsa stood up and instead of climbing the stairs to her door, like Anna was expecting, she began walking towards the forest. "Would you like to go for a walk? I haven't been walking as much as I should lately."
"Have you been doing the exercises the doctor recommended?"
"I have. Don't worry," she answered with a big smile. "I just feel like walking. The mountain is beautiful during the mornings this time of the year."
"Okay," accepted Anna. "But it doesn't mean we won't be studying today. I've got a few lessons ready and we need to keep a good rhythm if you want to take your tests in Autumn."
Elsa continued walking and it was only after she had taken some distance that she answered, "Sure, sis. Whatever you say."
Anna's eyes doubled their size, and she jogged to catch up with Elsa. "What did you just say?"
Elsa looked at her, and with a smirk said, "I said we'll do what you say after the walk. Come on."
"I'm pretty sure you said something different."
Pretending to be deep in thought she answered, "I don't think so."
"I could swear you said something different."
"Must be your imagination."
Anna dropped the topic, knowing it was useless to try to get Elsa to admit she had said something else. But Anna was sure she had heard Elsa correctly, and she felt a new kind of excitement she'd never felt before.
Just as they had agreed, Gerda and Kristoff finished cooking their meal and sat down to eat before his mother began telling him everything she remembered about Elsa's parents. As he listened, Kristoff guessed Gerda couldn't really explain everything with as much detail as Agdar and Idunn could; but he was nonetheless surprised at his mother's memory.
She talked about their life in Romsdall, their surprise when Idunn became pregnant and the woman's illness during those months. She told him how they had met Weselton and why, and everything they had gone through once they discovered Elsa's powers and left her on her own.
What certainly called Kristoff's attention — besides the fact they had deliberately left Elsa in the hands of Weselton — was finding out how hard it had been for Agdar to be with the girl he loved. Once or twice Kristoff had heard Anna talk about her grandfather, Runeard, and how her father always avoided giving her much details about his life. Something he had always found strange, especially since it had been Runeard who had built the company Agdar now owned. However, now, thanks to Gerda's explanation he understood better why, and he thought it had been ridiculous on Runeard's part to care so much about his reputation to the point he ignored his own son's happiness.
Kristoff wasn't sure the Arendelles' lives and experiences justified what they had done to Elsa, but the story was certainly different than what he had imagined. "I never thought Agdar and Idunn had lived so many things in their youth."
Gerda nodded in understanding. Even if she didn't know the couple as well as Kristoff did, she had to agree their life had been way different than she had imagined too. "About Elsa," she said, going back to their main concern. "I honestly don't think they tried to get rid of her. On the contrary, they only gave her up in hopes she would live a better life."
"You said they even tried to find her, didn't you?"
"They looked in every single orphanage in the area. They were set to find her once they had settled down and they knew they had the means to help her."
"I can't believe the employees in my orphanage interfered in their search the way they did." He had to be honest and admit he didn't have really good memories from the orphanage, apart from becoming friends with Elsa. But the idea of them not only ignoring Elsa and stopping her from meeting her real family crushed Kristoff and made him realise how despicable people could really be when they were interested in money.
"There are bad people in this world, dear. And sadly, there's little we can do about it."
He hated to accept how real those words were. He knew for a fact how hard his parents had tried to help Elsa and make sure everyone involved in her suffering paid. But justice wasn't always fair, and there were little people like them could do to change that.
Thinking it was best to ignore the world's injustice and get the conversation back on track, he commented, "I truly thought Agdar and Idunn had forgotten about her." He was still baffled by how mistaken he had been. "Does Elsa know about this?"
"I don't think so. Your father and I haven't talked to her about this. And we didn't let the Arendelles get in touch with her. Even if we understood their reasons, it didn't mean we would go over Elsa's wishes. She's got the right to choose when and how to meet them and if she wants to listen to them."
"I never thought I'd say this, but Elsa needs to hear them out," said Kristoff with resolution, even if the idea of his sister opening the door to her real family hurt him deeply. But Elsa had suffered enough through life, and she deserved to know she had been loved.
Mother and son stayed silent, both lost in their own thoughts. Kristoff wondered if it was correct to let his sister know, or if it was better to follow his parents original idea — letting Elsa find out the truth whenever she felt it was the right time.
He looked at his mother, ready to find out what she thought about it, when he noticed Gerda's crestfallen expression. "Are you okay, mum?"
"Do you think Elsa will give them another chance?"
The question came as a surprise to him. Gerda knew as well as he did the answer to that question. Elsa was, after all, a girl with a forgiving heart. "I think she will… with time. That doesn't mean her scars will magically heal."
"That's what I thought you'd say…"
Her heartache didn't go unnoticed by Kristoff. "I've got mixed feelings about them too," he admitted. "I still think they are partly to blame for Elsa's childhood."
"That's not what unsettles me," said Gerda as she held her son's hand in hers. "I've talked to them. I've noticed their pain and sadness. I don't think they'll do anything to hurt Elsa, on the contrary."
Puzzled by his mother's certainty in Agdar and Idunn's intentions, Kristoff had to ask what was really troubling Gerda. "Then, what's your main concern?"
"Ever since I heard Idunn's side of the story, I've been thinking about the role she may have in Elsa's life from now on..." she took a deep breath and looked at her hands as if she was ashamed of what she was about to say. "Tell me, dear. Have you considered what it will mean for us if Elsa gives her biological family a second chance?"
Kristoff stayed silent for a moment thinking about his answer. He offered his mother a side smile and admitted, "I would be lying if I say I haven't… Being honest, it's something I try not to think too much about." Deciding it was best to simply tackle the elephant in the room, he asked, "are worried about Elsa leaving us behind?"
"No," she said a little too fast to sound believable. "Not at all."
"I had a hard time accepting Anna was her real sister. And I consider Anna one of the most important people in my life…" Kristoff said, trying to make his mother understand it was completely normal to feel apprehensive. "I can only imagine what you must feel when you think of Elsa seeing Idunn as her mother."
Gerda sighed and showed Kristoff a sad smile. "As long as she's happy. I'll be happy."
"I know you will," said Kristoff, knowing it was the truth.
"Between us…" Gerda said, calling his attention once again. "I do fear she may stop calling me mum, you know? I know it's silly, after all I've never been her real mother, but I fear I'll become just Gerda in her eyes."
"That'll never happen." The sadness in his mother's eyes pained Kristoff. If there was someone who didn't deserve to feel dejected was Gerda. "Elsa loves you more than anyone in this world. Including me."
"Don't be ridiculous."
Kristoff noticed Gerda truly believed that to be impossible, and wished his sister could be more open and actually let their mother know how much she meant to her. "She once confessed she would be dead if it hadn't been for you, mum." He felt bad for breaking his sister's trust by sharing that information with his mother, but Gerda deserved to know how important she had been — and still was — for Elsa. "You'll never be in second place in her heart."
"I know you're trying to lift my spirits, dear. But that's really unsettling." Gerda showed him a concerned face and tightened her hold in her son's hand.
"She was talking about what she would have done if she had been taken to a different clinic. Till this day she's certain people would have kept running tests and experiments on her," he clarified. "What I was trying to say is, Agdar and Idunn suddenly appearing in her life won't change the past. You and Kai are our parents. No matter what other people say." He chuckled and said, "you're stuck with us forever."
"I wouldn't want it any other way." Gerda's eyes shined and an honest smile appeared in her face. She stood up and kissed his forehead before picking up the plates on the table. On her way to the kitchen, she turned around and asked one simple favour. "Don't tell Elsa about this, please. I want her to choose whatever her heart desires. She doesn't need to worry about old Gerda."
"I won't," he promised. Still worried about his mother, Kristoff thought fast on something to distract her. Luckily, an idea soon crossed his mind, and even though he knew it was risky, he went along with it in hopes his mother would forget about her worries. Clearing his throat, he called his mother's attention and said, "though, she does worry about you, you know? You're getting older by the day and she fears you won't remember her next time she comes to visit."
"I'm still the closest thing you've got to a mother, do not forget that," came Gerda's annoyed retort, and she disappeared inside the kitchen.
He tried his hardest not to laugh at his mother's insulted demeanour, but he completely lost it as soon as she left the dining room. His laugh stopped, however, when she returned with desert just for her.
Before Kristoff had the chance to complain or beg his mother for some, she interrupted him. "Do you really think you can say that to my face and don't face the consequences, young man?"
With that, Kristoff knew he had taken things too far and his mother had undoubtedly won.
Elsa looked at her cards and then at Anna. The girl in question had just called truco and was waiting for her to answer. She was certain she had a good hand, and Anna had the tendency to try to fool her into thinking her cards were better. But she had played that trick once or twice already and something told Elsa she was being serious this time.
"Quiero retruco," she said, hoping Anna was lying once again. She noticed how she tried to hide a grin and Elsa already knew what was coming.
"Quiero, vale cuatro,"
"You're buffling." Elsa was so close to winning, but she couldn't risk it. If Anna's cards were better she would earn four points and end it there.
"I said, vale cuatro. What do you want to do?" she said and looked at her with a defiant expression.
"I fold."
Hands up in the air, Anna let a triumphant, "Yes!"
"Let me see your cards."
"No way. There's one mano left, I won't let you see my cards." Anna picked the cards from the table and soon began shuffling them to prevent Elsa from seeing them.
"You tricked me again, didn't you?"
"You're pretty bad at this game. I'm sure you were cargada and backed down at the last moment, weren't you?"
"I knew I should have accepted!"
Anna began laughing at her face while she shuffled the cards. Elsa had been so close to winning and she had completely changed the course of the game thanks to her buffling.
Elsa was about to complain once again about Anna's acting skills when the door opened and Kristoff came in.
"There you are!" said Anna cherfully, while she dropped the deck and walked towards her boyfriend. "I've missed you!"
"You spent the whole day with him yesterday. How could you possibly have missed him?" said Elsa as picked the cards. She was quite relieved her brother had shown up and interrupted their game before Anna won once again.
"I always miss him," Anna answered with a smile. "I thought you weren't coming. I was about to leave."
Anna had been waiting for Kristoff to show up and give her a ride home that evening. She had mentioned to Elsa earlier that day there was an important business dinner at her house and Agdar wanted her to be present.
"I lost track of time talking with mum, sorry," soon apologised Kristoff.
"How's mum?"
"Good," he said as he sat down on the couch next to his sister. "Though, she's a little disappointed you don't visit her more often."
"Why do you always say things to make me feel guilty?" she complained. "I call her almost every day."
"It wouldn't kill you to spend a night or two in the city. And you could visit Sven in the process."
"I know you love to argue," Anna said, interrupting their conversation. "But can we, please, get going? Dad wanted me to be home before his business partners arrived."
"Sure thing," said Kristoff standing up.
"Wait, Anna. Before I forget…" Elsa said, calling Anna's attention who was in the kitchen picking up her things. "There's something I need to give you." And with that she disappeared into her bedroom only to return a few seconds later with a envelope en her hand.
"Huh? What is this?" said Anna as she looked up from her bag and grabbed what Elsa was offering her.
"It's a letter." Elsa hoped for Anna to understand and not make much fuss about it. She had been trying all day to find the right moment to give the girl the letter she had written to Idunn.
"A letter…" Anna looked at the envelope in her hand, as she tried to understand. "Wait, what? Hold up. Really?!"
"Don't get too excited it's-"
"No, no, no," she cut her sister mid-sentence. "You can't hand me a letter addressed to mum and tell me not to get excited. Elsa, are you serious?"
"Look," Elsa said, raising her hands in front of her as she tried to calm Anna down. "It's just one letter and a simple response to the letters she sent me. Please, don't think too much of it."
"What letters?" asked Kristoff while he entered the room. His girlfriend's excitement had called his attention, and he arrived just in time to hear Elsa mention she was merely answering back to Idunn.
"Elsa! You're writing back!" Doing exactly the opposite of what Elsa had asked her to do, Anna wrapped Elsa in her arms. After a moment, she let go of her sister and asked, "What made you change your mind?"
Elsa thought about her answer. She didn't want to admit she had been struggling so much with the idea of reading the letters. And she also didn't want to let Anna know she had merely read them in fear she would get tired of her. So, to make things easier, she simply explained, "You should be thanking Marshmallow, he said something to me a few weeks back and it made me realise giving the letters a chance wasn't such a bad idea."
She laughed out loud and then hugged Elsa once again. "I love that big, intimidating guy so much! I could kiss him!"
"Okay," Kristoff stopped her. "There's no need to kiss anyone." It was clear by his expression he still had many questions he wanted to ask, but he had put two and two together, understanding his girlfriend's happiness perfectly well. That didn't mean he wasn't going to ask his girlfriend for clarification later on.
Looking at her boyfriend, Anna said in a serious tone of voice. "Two months ago I thought Elsa would freeze my butt if I even mentioned my parents' existence. Whatever Marshall said changed her mind. So excuse me if I think he deserves a kiss."
"First of all, that's quite an exaggeration," said Elsa thinking about the idea of her freezing Anna's behind. "And second, I'm not sure Marshmallow would like for you to start kissing him all of a sudden."
"Maybe you're right…" said Anna, thinking about another option. "You'll have to do it for me."
Elsa deadpanned. "Very funny. Weren't you in a hurry?"
Anna, noticing Elsa's embarrassment behind her serious mask, laughed and said, "You wish for me to go before I talk too much, don't you?"
Elsa narrowed her eyes and silently told Anna to shut her mouth. Weeks before, she had asked Anna not to tell her brother she had slept in Marshall's house. Not because something had actually happened between them, but simply because she wanted to avoid the jealous-brother conversation that would surely take place. Elsa still wasn't sure what Kristoff thought of the mountaineer, and she didn't want to find out during an awkward conversation.
"I have no idea what's going on, but I'd rather not find out," said Kristoff, before Anna crossed a line. "Pick your things and let's go."
After silently thanking her brother, Elsa turned to him and asked, "are you coming back after dropping Anna off?"
"Sure thing," he answered with a smile. It had been days since the two of them could spend a night together, and Kristoff was eager to talk and have fun with his sister. "I'll bring some pizza on the way back."
Elsa was about to suggest a place when a knock on her door distracted her. She looked at Kristoff with a puzzled expression, wondering who could it be, and then walked out of the kitchen to answer.
When she opened the door, she was surprised to see Marshmallow standing on the other side, since he had told her he had to work late that night. But even more shocking was his appearance. His comb over hairstyle was disheveled in an unusual manner, he was breathing heavily — as if he had run all the way to her house — and his angered expression told Elsa he wasn't there for chit-chat.
"Marshmallow?" she asked, lost for words. "What are you doing out here? Are you okay?"
Breathing in deeply, he looked at Elsa and said, "I need Anna's phone number."
I hope this chapter finds all of you well.
Time went by faster than I imagined and I was surprised to find out it had been more than a month and a half since the last time I updated. My apologies for the long hiatus, but at least this is one of the longer - if not the longest - chapters I've ever written.
Nonetheless, I've got good news! I've been writing and planning a lot during this last month and a half, and I'm pretty sure I've got all the ideas in order for this story's finale. There are several chapters left, 7 or 8, more or less, but at least I can say I can see the finish line. (Then, it will be up to you if I continue with a second part, but that's something else altogether.)
Also, I've written a new summary for the story. I think this new one can help people understand a bit more what the story is about before reading it. The previous one was quite confusing.
In case you were wondering, the game Elsa and Anna play in this chapter is called Truco. It's quite common among friends in Argentina and I wanted to include something related to my country's customs and traditions. (The game is not originally Argentinian, but the one Anna and Elsa play here follow the Argentinian rules and calls.) Just a small wink to my teenage years and all the fun I've had playing this game. By the way, I'm terrible at it.
As always, thank you for your constant support and patience. I know I should try to update more often.
Don't forget to leave a review on your way out. They are the best fuel a writer can get! Whenever I need inspiration, I go back and re-read every single comment. They really mean a lot to me.
