Show yourself - Part I

The moment the door opened, Anna knew things weren't going to end well that evening. Or at least not the way she had expected. Elsa had been on edge all day. Her powers had been under her control regardless of her stress and anxiety attacks, but Anna was certain she had a limit. There was no physical way she could keep holding herself under control when the main reason for her distress was standing right behind Kristoff.

Seeing Marshall there seemed like a bad joke of destiny. It didn't make sense how life kept dealing Elsa bad hand after bad hand. She needed to win once, it was only fair. If it kept going that way, it was only logical she'd fold one day.

"Elsa?" Marshall asked, before anyone else could say something. Kristoff looked as surprised as she was and words hadn't come up fast enough.

"Marshall…" Elsa answered, as astonished as they both were.

If the situation weren't so delicate, Anna would have loved to say 'I told you to go home!'. All she should have done was turn on a different corner and go home to see what Kai wanted. That was it. It seemed so simple and trouble-free now that they were standing there.

"What's she doing here?" Kristoff asked Anna. Clearly he was not expecting to find Elsa in any other place than his parents' house.

"What's he doing here?" Anna asked in kind. She should be more annoyed at him than anyone else. There was no way she'd have anticipated Marshall could be in his apartment. She didn't even know Marshall knew where he lived.

"I've been looking for you." Marshall took a few steps forward, moving Kristoff out of the doorway. He kept talking to Elsa as if the two of them didn't exist. It made Anna realise how truly concerned he had been.

"I—" Elsa tried to say, but no words other than 'I've got to go' came out of her mouth. Before Anna could stop her, she had rushed down the hallway towards the staircase.

"Elsa, wait, where are you going?!" Anna yelled and ran after her. At her back, she could hear Kristoff pushing Marshall out of the way and calling after his sister as well.

"Elsa!" Kristoff said. And as soon as Marshall tried to follow, he pushed him back inside his apartment. "No, wait. Wait here. Please."

Anna went after Elsa as fast as she could. She ran down the stairs, two steps at a time. "Where are you going?" she asked, unsure of Elsa's plan. There was no way she could let her flee the building, especially with a snow trail behind her. "You can't leave. Stop." Anna got to her just before she opened the main glass door and grabbed her arm to stop her.

"What's your problem?" Elsa complained as soon as Anna forced her to turn around and look at her. "Let me go!"

Only then, Anna realised she had grabbed her injured arm by mistake; but even so, she hadn't held it brusquely. "Sorry. I didn't mean to— did I grab your arm that hard?"

"No." Elsa said, hissing and she held her forearm with her good hand. She looked at it in concern and barely paid attention to Anna as she spoke, "No. Don't worry about it. Just let me go."

Anna had let her arm go as soon as she noticed her sister's eyes tightly shut in pain, but she was still firmly holding Elsa's shoulder. She couldn't let her go out into the street in that state. "We talked about this," she said, hoping to get Elsa's attention.

"You have to talk to Marshall. And guess what? Marshall's in there. Go talk to him." Her main concern wasn't Elsa talking to her friend right at that moment, it was finding a way to get Elsa back into Kristoff's apartment before a neighbour or people from the street saw her.

"I can't, Anna," Elsa said, tears brimming her eyes. "Not today."

Anna looked around, hoping there was something she could say without making Elsa awfully aware of the fact she was snowing all over the main entrance. It was a good thing buildings were still warm and the snow melted as soon as it touched the floor, but she wasn't sure how long it would take until snow started piling up.

Not knowing what else to say, she continued, "Stop running away. I know this is hard, but what's done is done. Please talk to him."

"Anna, let me go." Elsa said, moving her shoulder so Anna would stop holding her back.

"You can't leave."

"I can't face him. Not after everything that happened," Elsa said. She was still thinking Anna was only trying to convince her to talk to Marshall. "Not now at least."

"Elsa, you can't leave the building." Anna threw herself against the glass door preventing Elsa from opening it. Her voice was stern and full of concern.

"Anna, please. I know this will end in disaster."

"Exactly!" Anna said. "You're snowing."

"What?" Finally paying attention, Elsa noticed the snow that kept falling all around them. "No, no, no. Stop it, you idiot."

Anna felt a pang of pain at hearing her sister so distressed and disgusted with herself and her powers. "Please, let's go back inside."

But Elsa wasn't listening to her anymore. "Stop it. Get it together."

"Elsa, the neighbours might hear. Go back to my apartment, please." Right at that moment Kristoff got to them. It had taken him a bit longer than expected to convince Marshall to wait for them inside.

"Els…" Anna said, putting her arm around Elsa's shoulders. "Please, listen to me. We've got to go."

The sound of one of the doors from the ground floor alerted Kristoff who didn't waste a second in pushing both girls into the staircase. "Get upstairs. Now—" He tried to say but was interrupted by the voice of an old man Anna didn't recognise.

"Hey, Mr. Olsen. Long time no see." Kristoff said loud enough for Anna and Elsa to hear from the staircase. This finally made Elsa snap out of her shock, finally allowing Anna to push her upstairs.

"Can you keep it down, Bjorgman?" The old grumpy man said as he looked around and tried to understand what was going on.

"Yes, sorry," Kristoff said with a nervous laugh. "My sister… It was just a stupid argument. We're going back inside now. Nothing to worry about." As fast as possible, he disappeared from the old man's sight and climbed the stairs to meet with Elsa and Anna again. He sighed when he saw the sisters struggling at his apartment door.

"Get inside, now," he said severely, not giving Elsa much of an option.


Not feeling up to challenging her brother, Elsa walked into the apartment. The moment Anna had begun pushing her up the stairs, she realised how close she had been to exposing her powers and it made her feel like an idiot for trying to escape like that. She was trying to run away from Marshall and avoid a disaster, but she almost made things worse. She allowed Anna to guide her back inside as she heard her brother locking the door behind her. Sadly, it was a door that locked her opportunity to avoid the nerve wracking situation she was going through.

"Elsa, you're back."

Marshall's voice made her feel a lot more guilty than she had felt that day. He sounded so relieved to see her and finally having the chance to talk, even though she was certain he was afraid of being in her presence.

"Are you out of your mind?"

Kristoff's voice, on the other hand, sounded a lot more irritated than she had expected. Only now she understood how close she had been to blowing things up.

"What was your idea?" He insisted as he walked to the middle of the room to face her. "Just run into the street? To do what, exactly?"

"Kristoff, please, try to be more understanding." Anna was still standing next to her.

"Well, she can't just—" Kristoff tried to argue when the line phone started ringing, distracting him from what he wanted to say. He debated if it was wise to pick it up or not, but decided against it.

Taking advantage of the interruption, Marshall walked towards Elsa until he was standing right in front of her, and before the argument could continue, he said, "I've been looking for you. Can we talk?"

Elsa looked down and hid her good hand under injured arm, trying in vain to keep the ice at bay. She was trying hard to avoid Marshall's eyes in the process. There were some snowflakes falling down, but besides that she still had things under control to some extent. "You don't need to worry, I'm fine."

"I need to talk to you," His voice was calm but there was a peculiar relentlessness to it that made Elsa feel more nervous than she wanted to admit.

"Now's not a good time." She knew it was stupid on her part to try to avoid the inevitable. Marshall was there to talk and she knew her ridiculous excuses weren't going to change his mind.

The phone rang once again, and it gave Elsa the opportunity to take a few steps back when both men in front of her turned their head in the direction of the sound. Marshall was the first to notice her move, and he directed his attention back to her as if afraid she was going to leave through the door again.

"Please, Elsa."

"It's just…" What could she say to ease his worries? It was true the only thing keeping her from disappearing through the door was the people in the streets who'd surely notice the trail of ice she'd leave. "I can't talk to you right now."

"Just five minutes."

The phone rang a third time and both of them looked at Kristoff, who was still debating if he should pick it up or not. He didn't move and so they both decided to ignore it as well.

"Marshall, I…" She was struggling to find her voice. The air wasn't getting in her lungs the way it should, and with every breath her throat felt more and more tight. "I don't have time to—"

The phone rang again, and Elsa wondered how long she had taken to get those few words out. The incessant noise was making her more nervous and the snow falling around them was steadily becoming thicker. She had to calm down soon if she wanted to keep the people she loved safe.

"You really don't have time to talk to me for five minutes?" His voice was urgent and it only made Elsa regret the series of decisions that had led her to this moment.

She wasn't sure why he was still standing so close to her, risking getting hurt after what had happened between them. He had been nervous around her before, why he wasn't nervous now was a mystery to Elsa.

"Elsa, I think you should talk to him."

Anna's voice interrupted her train of thought and she turned around to look at her for the first time since they had entered the apartment. One of her hands was lingering too close to her. Anna wasn't even trying to keep a safe distance; on the contrary, she was debating if she should lay it comfortingly on her shoulder or not.

"Anna, we shouldn't—" Kristoff tried to say, but yet again the phone and Marshall interrupted him.

"The other night I didn't ask any questions. I just tried to help you. Then you told me to back off and I did. So, please," He took a step further, getting closer to Elsa. "Tell me why can't you talk to me now? I think I've given you enough time."

Hugging herself even tighter, Elsa tried her best to control the snow. She also avoided looking at him since she was certain she wouldn't stand seeing the fear written on them. "This isn't easy for me, try to understand—"

"Why don't you try to understand me for once?" he said, raising his voice, something he hadn't done yet. "Have you got any idea how worried I was? You didn't answer the door. You didn't pick up the phone."

As on cue, the phone started ringing once again and everyone in the room looked at Kristoff, silently begging him to do something about it.

Shaking his head, trying not to get distracted by the sound, Marshall continued, "I wasn't sure if you were ignoring me or you had passed out or—"

"I'm okay." Elsa interrupted him. She had to get him to stop talking and leave the place. She couldn't keep herself in check if everything around her was so loud and Marshall kept forcing her to talk.

"Yeah, clearly," he scoffed. "You look like crap."

The tears that she had barely been able to control before, now fell down her face. She knew she wasn't in her best shape, physically and mentally, but there was no need for him to be so blunt about it. What she usually loved about Marshall was now plain hurtful.

"You're one to talk," she bit back and it made her concentration slip just enough for an ice layer to appear under her feet. More angry tears fell as she realised this mistake. "Can you, please, get it together for just two seconds?!" She yelled at herself, unable to keep her frustration hidden.

Everyone took a step back, knowing the ice around her was a clear warning they shouldn't ignore. Just as she was about to apologise, the phone rang again, making Elsa snap at her brother. "Kristoff, can you pick up that damn phone?!"

"At least I can admit I'm not okay," Marshall said, ignoring the ice and the noise. "You can't. And that's one of the reasons I think we should talk."

"Marshall." Kristoff took a step towards him and put his hand on his chest, trying to restrain him from doing anything stupid. "I understand the way you feel, but there's no—" The phone interrupted him once more, making Kristoff lose his patience as well. "Oh, for goodness sake!"

"Pick the fucking phone!" Elsa and Marshall yelled at him. Both of them had clearly lost all decorum and were fighting against themselves to control their emotions. Kristoff took a few steps back and looked at them for just a moment before picking the phone on the other side of the room and disappearing into his bedroom.

Knowing Kristoff would take a moment talking to whomever was so insistently calling, Anna decided to act as a mediator. "You two need to calm down and talk. We'll give you some space if you need, but this is getting out of hand."

"Anna, I can't," Elsa said, turning to look at her to make sure she understood she was being serious.

"You can't or you won't?" asked Marshall. He had set his mind into talking to her and there was nothing that would make him back down.

"I need to get out of here." Not knowing what else to do, or where to go, Elsa turned to the door. She'd try to find a place to hide outside the apartment.

To her bad luck, Anna stopped her once again and leant against the door, blocking her way. "Elsa, you can't leave. Not like this."

"Why won't you talk to me?" Marshall asked grimly.

He was starting to give up, and it made Elsa extremely sad and guilty to hear him speak to her that way. He didn't deserve her cold shoulder, especially not after everything she did. But she couldn't control her powers anymore, no matter how hard she tried; and she was certain they wouldn't be able to talk unless they both had time to cool down and get themselves together. She hadn't even been able to look him in the eye yet.

"I don't know what you want me to say," Elsa said, her voice barely audible in comparison to their previous quarrel.

"How about an explanation of some kind?"

Deep down she wanted to talk to him, he was right after all. He deserved an apology and an explanation. But she didn't know how to talk to him. There was a lump in her throat and the words wouldn't come out. She knew that once they talked, things would never be the same between them. So, she stayed silent, looking at the floor between them. The ice kept crawling and expanding, and she felt the weight of all of her mistakes piling up on her shoulders.

Marshall stayed silent, looking at her. Elsa knew his eyes were fixed on her. And for a moment, Elsa thought he'd stay that way until she answered, but before neither of them could say anything, Anna said, "Elsa, please, talk to him. You'll regret this."

Once again, Elsa hoped the right words would come out and the ice would leave her alone for just one minute, in which she could say everything she needed. But those things wouldn't happen, instead she couldn't do more than stay silent, knowing she couldn't be trusted to have a conversation so delicate in such a small place.

"We can't talk here. I don't trust myself," she found the courage to say when this realisation came to mind.

"Then let's go somewhere you feel safe." Marshall took a step closer to her, crushing the ice with his muddy boots. "Just, please, talk to me. Where do you want to go?"

Elsa's eyes stayed fixed on the ice below his boots and how it spread all around them. She couldn't do it. Marshall wouldn't understand and his difficulty to keep his emotions in check would cause her to lose control before she knew it.

"Where do you want to go?" Marshall repeated as he took one more step closer, making Elsa open her eyes in surprise when she noticed how close he was standing. All of sudden, Elsa felt Kristoff's hand on her shoulder and saw him push Marshall away from her.

"Back off." Kristoff's voice cut through the cold and dense air that separated them. "Give her some space."

"Anna, move away from that door," he then instructed, when Marshall was no longer crushing Elsa's ice. "The two of you need to learn how to deal with Elsa when she's in this state."

Part of Elsa wanted to take offence at her brother for talking about her as if she was not in the room. But the most sensible side of her agreed with him. They both needed to understand she wasn't a normal person and they should start listening to the warning signs before it was too late.

"You know what? Fine. I'll give her some space." Marshall said, surprising the rest of the people in the room. "I'll give you enough time to get your shit together." He was now talking to her, exclusively. "But we need to talk. I'm not going back to the mountain without an explanation."

"I already gave you an explanation," Kristoff said in a warning tone.

"I want Elsa to talk to me, to explain this shit to me. Not you." He walked towards the door and silently asked Anna to move aside. Anna followed suit, unsure if it was wise to ignore Marshall's request when he was so mad. "If she doesn't trust me, fine. I'll learn to live with that. But I want her to look me in the eye and tell me so herself."

"Marshall, this isn't what we talked about," Kristoff continued saying, trying to make him understand he needed to be more patient. "You're repeating the same mistakes that led to this mess."

Not giving Kristoff's warning much thought, he opened the door ready to leave. But before he did, he turned around and called Elsa's name. "Elsa, could you look at me?"

Feeling it was the least she could do, Elsa turned around and looked him in the eyes for the first time that day. She instantly regretted it when she realised how sad and hurt he looked.

A small sad smile drew on his face when their eyes finally met and he said, "I know I'm not the most peaceful man out there. I know I snapped at you the other night. I blamed you for not telling me about yourself sooner and I almost lost it. I understand why you'd choose to hide from me after that, but I wasn't mad at you — not really. I'm not even mad at you now. I'm just frustrated and sad that after all this time I haven't earned your trust."

Elsa looked down in shame. Just like him, she was frustrated and sad. Frustrated that she couldn't find the words to talk to him sooner. She regretted not taking Anna's advice, she should've tried talking to him before things turned this way. If only he knew she trusted him more than anyone else she had ever met, outside her family. He had always looked after her and he had never asked for anything more than her presence in return.

"I know I've just snapped at you again," he continued when he noticed she was not going to say anything. "And I'm sorry. But there are some things I need to know. Things only you can answer." He looked at Kristoff at that. "I'll give you some minutes to get yourself together. I'll get the car and wait for you outside."

"Marshall…" Elsa wasn't sure what she wanted to say.

"If you care enough to talk to me, then come find me. We'll go wherever you want. Wherever you feel safe. If you don't, then I'll try to come to terms with it." And then he was out the door before she could answer. He had disappeared faster than Elsa could understand what he was saying.


The moment the door closed, Elsa seemed to start breathing once again. Even if the snow was still falling, she seemed more calm. She walked absentmindedly to the sofa and sat down with a trembling sigh. She hid her face in her hands and took a few deep breaths, trying in vain to control her nerves.

Anna felt bad for her sister. In less than twelve hours she had overcome a panic attack, she had opened up to her about everything that happened and she had faced Marshall before she was ready. And to top all of that, she now needed to make a serious decision: she either overcame her fears and talked to Marshall, even if she wasn't ready. Or she accepted that he might walk away. She was certain Marshall loved Elsa more than he let on, but he wasn't a man who'd waste his or anyone else's time. It only took a bad decision on Elsa's part to lose him, and Anna was not going to let that happen if she could avoid it.

She sat down beside Elsa and put a comforting arm around her shoulders. She wanted to let her know what she believed was best to do, but before she could say anything, Kristoff kneeled down in front of them.

"It was Gerda on the phone," he said, making both girls look up in surprise. "I'm not sure what you've done, or where you've been, but she's worried sick about you."

It was only logical for Kai and Gerda to be looking for Elsa, she had disappeared from home in the early morning and hadn't returned home in hours. Elsa didn't spend time in the city alone. It was too obvious that she was either avoiding their conversation or having a serious problem that didn't let her go back. 'In a way, it's both things at the same time,' Anna thought.

"I just lied and I told her you were here. I said you had gone out with Anna to pick up some food — or some crap like that," he clarified, not sure of what he had really said. He had only got over with the conversation fast enough to go back to see what was going on in his living room. "I don't even remember. The thing is, I lied to give you some time to get your act together."

"I—" Elsa began to say, but before she could even try to justify herself, Kristoff stopped her.

"Let me finish," he said as he grabbed her good hand tightly. "So, you either talk to Marshall or you go home. But you've got to do something about this mess."

Elsa pulled her hand away from Kristoff's and massaged her forehead. She was doing everything in her power to calm down and get her ideas in order. "I can't do this," she finally said, leaning on the cushions. "I'm so fucking tired."

"Tough luck," Kristoff said, patting her knee. "You've got to pick. I'm not going to let you run away this time."

"Stop being so harsh on her," Anna said, unsure if cornering Elsa would do any good.

"Harsh?" His humourless laugh made Anna feel even worse for her sister. "She hurt a person and kept the secret. Then, when my parents found out something was wrong, she vanished. This is not the way to deal with these problems." He stood up and crossed his arms, asserting himself. "On second thought, I shouldn't even have lied to Gerda."

Opposite to what Anna expected, Elsa looked at him in anger, not shame. She was coming to a limit, and Anna worried this whole thing would end up worse than it should.

"Kristoff, shut up." Anna said. She agreed with Kristoff, Elsa had to stop running and start talking to Marshall and her family, but forcing her was not going to lead anywhere. "Elsa, you need to go after Marshall and talk to him. He may seem erratic at times… I'll give you that." Of all the people she'd met, Marshall and Elsa were the most unpredictable. She was certain of it. But even then, they needed to force themselves to overcome their emotions and talk. "He's just confused. Explain to him what you can do, let him know how bad you feel about what happened and then go home. Things will get better, all you need to do is talk."

Elsa stayed silent for a moment, but then suddenly pushed her siblings away and stood up. "I need a minute," she said as she walked into the bathroom.

"Elsa…" Anna muttered, but she didn't go after her. Maybe it was best to do what Marshall had done, give her a few minutes to get herself together and then see what happened.

Kristoff sat down next to her and sighed, tiredly. "Did you know about this?"

"She only told me what happened an hour or so ago."


After half an hour, Elsa came out of the bathroom. Both Kristoff and Anna looked at her but didn't say anything. Her wet hair and her flushed skin confirmed what they believed, she had been taking a hot shower. It was one of the first things Anna learnt about Elsa once she got to know her. Whenever her powers were going rampant, she'd take a hot shower. A really hot shower. Sometimes she wondered if it didn't hurt her skin to do it. But it seemed to help her calm down, and so Anna never commented on it.

Still ignoring them, Elsa walked straight to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle from Kristoff's fridge. Sitting down on his table she drank in silence, not paying their siblings much attention. In Anna's opinion, Elsa was clearly out of sorts. It seemed as if her sadness and concern had taken a sharp turn, and she was letting anger and frustration take over and control the situation. At that point, Anna wasn't sure what was best.

Kristoff looked at her, and then at their sister. He was thinking what was best to do, but just like Anna, he had no idea. But Marshall wouldn't wait for her all evening and his parents were going to call back sooner than later. Whatever it was she had decided to do, she had to let him know now.

"What are you going to do?" Kristoff asked, not giving Elsa much choice. He was not going to let her stay at his place as if nothing had happened.

Elsa's tired eyes looked at him, but a moment later they were fixed on a small object on the table. "What's this?"

"What?" Kristoff asked, standing up from the couch to see what she was talking about. "No." He gave a few fast strides and grabbed it before Elsa could take it. "No, no. Don't worry about it. Marshall had it in his pocket. He was just giving it back."

She stayed silent, eyebrows furrowed in deep thinking. "Why?"

"What's that?" Anna asked, curious to know why the small object was so important.

Kristoff ignored Anna's question and continued talking with his sister. "He found it in your first-aid kit, but it's not what you're thinking. He didn't—"

"He saw it," Elsa said. "He grabbed it…"

"Yes. I know it sounds bad, but—"

Only after seeing Kristoff's worried expression and seeing the ampoule in his hand did Anna realise what it was. She wasn't entirely sure why Marshall had grabbed it, but the worst scenario came to her mind; it was obvious Elsa must have been thinking the same.

"Why didn't he use it?" Elsa asked, nonplusing both Anna and Kristoff. If anything, they were expecting her to feel terrible about the idea of Marshall using sedatives on her.

"What?"

"He had the solution right there." Elsa pointed to the ampoule on Kristoff's hand with her bottle. "Why didn't he—" She stopped talking for a moment and then something akin to anger overwhelmed her. "Is he crazy? He went after me. I could have seriously hurt him. Why would he put himself at risk by not using it?"

Anna and Kristoff shared a pained look. "Isn't it obvious, Els?" he said. "He cares too much about you to put you through that."

"It doesn't make sense." Elsa said, frustrated. "He's studied medicine, he knows it was the best—"

"Yes. He knows the risks and the after effects. He said he'd rather you didn't go through them."

"I had just hurt him." Her eyes filled up with tears and her hand trembled. Anna couldn't tell if it was guilt or anger driving Elsa's emotions, but she was once again losing her composure. "He could have helped us both."

"I thought you hated those," Anna said, unsure why she was so mad all of a sudden. For all she knew, she should feel relieved Marshall hadn't chosen to drug her.

"I do!" She said aloud, slamming the bottle on the table. The beer inside freezing instantly. "But I know I need them when I become this uncontrollable monster."

"You're not—" Both of them tried to say, but Elsa stopped them.

"Oh, shut up," she said as she stood up. "You two know what I mean…"

"Where are you going?" Anna was baffled to see Elsa heading towards the door.

Elsa ignored her question and turned to Kristoff instead. "Did you tell him anything?"

"Almost everything," he admitted. "I couldn't risk him trying to find answers somewhere else."

"What's almost everything?" She said as she held the door open.

He scratched the back of his neck. Anna knew he was probably feeling guilty of having talked to him without her consent. "He doesn't know about your past but he knows what you're capable of."

"You mean…" Anna said, trying to understand what it involved. The sound of the door closing startled Anna, who had been paying attention to Kristoff instead of Elsa. "Should we go after her?"

Shaking his head, Kristoff picked the frozen bottle and threw it in the bin. "Let her go. She has just made up her mind."


I felt guilty about the cliffhanger the previous chapter and worked hard to get this new chapter out as soon as possible.

The thing is, I didn't think the characters had so much to say to each other, and so what was going to be one chapter turned out to be two, in length. It was too long so I decided to separate it and deliver you guys 'part I' a lot sooner.

I have part II all planned out and the dialogues almost ready, so I hope I can finish it in the next two weeks. Let's hope work lets me do it.

As always, thank you so much for your comments, they are my fuel. Let me know what you think of this one, so I can recharge!

You're the best guys! Take care!

Hope to read you soon!