(Cortez Lowell's Journal)

I'd like to think that fate had a hand in what happened that summer. That it was the Pants' destiny to find us. Where they came from and why they chose us? Well, that will always be a mystery.

But hey, perhaps that was part of their miracle. That they sensed in that moment how much we needed them. How much we needed some little bit of faith to hold onto when it seemed like everything we believed in was about to slip away.

….Dude, I sound like I'm in a soap opera. Wtf is wrong with me? Besides, I'm getting way ahead of myself. I'll just start at the veeeeeeeeeery beginning. I hear that's a very good place to start.

(Ugh. Dangit Levi, now you have me quoting Julie Andrews. I'm gonna beat your ass.)

So. We actually met as babies. No, like, we were literally brought to each other as infants, because we were all born within a couple of weeks from each other. At the end of summer, mind you. Bridge popped out first (so much ringleader energy that he was literally born first, good God), then came Toby, then it was me, and finally Levi (fitting; Levi's always been like a "baby brother" to us).

See, our dads met at a gym, and at first they had nothing in common. They just sorta bonded over their wives' (or in Toby's dads' case, surrogate mother's) due dates. Then they learned more about each other, found more common interests, and suddenly they were all bros for life.

I guess it worked out pretty nicely, because they're still friends now. They're not around each other as much these days, probably because they're adults with families and jobs and such. But when they do get together, they act like teenage boys all over again. It's… kinda creepy actually.

Although, they've been a little less rowdy together since Bridge's dad died. That was only a couple of years before this story, and I can tell it hit them pretty hard. They're all still friends, that'll never change. But they also get pretty sad around each other sometimes. It's like they're all super aware of this empty hole in their squad that can't be filled anymore.

They've always been a really weird group too (although I think that works for them): Toby's dads, the gay hippies; Levi's dad, the loudmouthed Greek social worker; Bridge's (now deceased) dad, the former hockey star; and my dad, the Puerto Rican with a doomed marriage.

But I guess we're following in their footsteps, and still closer than even our dads ever were. From day one - LITERALLY day one, as babies - we've been inseparable. They comforted me after my mom left when I was eight. We calmed Toby down when his dads adopted a second kid. We scared off homophobic bullies at school after Levi came out in seventh grade. And of course, we all helped Bridge get through his dad's suicide.

The four of us… I can't describe it. There's just so much love between all of us. It's as if we're one huge person, split up into four different parts. Wild, unstoppable Bridge; shy and handsome Levi; Toby the secretly wise rebel, and then… Well, then there's me, Cortez. How the heck do you describe me? The, uh, the hotheaded one, I guess. But I'm also the one who cares the most. The one who's most passionate about us sticking together.

A lot of male friendships are built around being macho and crass together, insulting each other, tearing each other down, out-yelling each other… Blegh. Not all, of course, but there's a reason why some people call it "toxic masculinity." It's not that being manly is toxic, it's that being obnoxious and never being nice to each other and never showing your feelings (unless you're angry) and that kind of crap; THAT'S toxic.

We're not like that. Yeah, of course we tease each other (NOTE TO SELF: Tell Levi I'm gonna beat his ass for putting The Sound of Music in my head, even though I actually liked it), but we also respect each other. We're decent to each other. We adore each other and we make that very clear. That's the secret to any healthy friendship, and yet it's so damn rare.

The four of us, we have something truly special.

And THEN, we got into the summer before our junior year of high school. After being glued to each others' hips our whole lives, this was going to be our first summer apart. None of us really knew what to make of it. How were we gonna do this? Would it suck? How badly would we miss each other? Was it something we actually needed - did we all need a little space for once? We never really thought about that until that summer approached. It was really weird to think about.

And that brings us all the way back to these pants. Literally, I still don't know what kind of sorcery was behind them. But we found them, and somehow they became a symbol for us. A symbol that no matter what, we'll always stick together through thick and thin.

Even when we get out of Bethesda, Maryland and see the world, even when we get married and have our own families, we'll never truly leave each other. Just like our dads didn't, except our bond will remain even stronger.

Okay, so I'm all over the place here. Let's cut to the chase and start talking about how we found the famous "Traveling Pants," how's that sound?