Chapter Six
A Few Years Ago
It was his first attempt at senior year. Eddie stopped at his locker to drop off his morning textbooks. That's when he saw her—the first time she'd straightened her hair: wearing makeup. Eddie had always known Josie for her thick curly locks, cascading like a golden rippling waterfall down her shoulders. He'd also never recalled her face ever being dolled up. Yet there she was, eyes rimmed with smokey black liner, tinged with orange; hair flattened against her back, resting just at her bottom. He thought she looked nice—would have said so too, if her new boyfriend hadn't snuck up behind her, stealing her attention from the world around her.
Eddie nearly puked, eyeing the new Hawkins High couple. Josie didn't belong with Billy, even if he was the only one to see it. She was something special, something worth all the praises of the world. And Billy? He was the biggest douche canoe that ever set foot in that shithole of a town. Good luck telling her that, though. Billy and Josie had been inseparable ever since he asked her to homecoming. She even ditched Hellfire for Hargrove—which stung Eddie in ways he couldn't even put into words. He'd have given her the very world if he had the chance. A chance now squandered by a pair of perfect pecs and ball-crushing jeans. Fucking dick.
Never had he intended to eavesdrop on their conversation. On the contrary, their lovey-dovey bullshit made him sick when he had the misfortune of catching wind of it. This conversation was different, though, and hearing how Billy spoke to her made Eddie hot with irritated anger. Hargrove's smugness lit a white hellfire inside Munson's gut.
"What is all this?"
Eddie could see Billy's hand in Josie's hair when he spoke, the other resting on her hip possessively.
Her eyes dropped to her feet, looking defeated. "I just…I figured I'd try something new."
It didn't escape Eddie that Billy held her sides more aggressively as if he owned Josie's person.
"Without talking to me first?" Hargrove's voice dropped lower, glancing around him to see who was watching.
Thankfully, Billy didn't notice Eddie, who had his head in his locker, viewing them from the small opening near the hinges.
"What have we talked about babe?"
Josie wrapped one hand around her arm, slowly looking into her boyfriend's eyes. Eddie could have sworn it was the face of manipulated fear. Billy was breaking her—Josie was letting him.
"I just thought—"
Billy laughed then, slamming the locker door and causing Josie and Eddie to jump.
"You thought? How many times do I have to tell you that image is everything? Do you want to make me look bad? Do you want us to look bad? You're mine, aren't you? I said: Aren't you?"
Oh, Eddie didn't like that. He didn't like that at all. Why the hell was she with such a fucking dick? Was she crying now?
"Yes, I am. I'm sorry, Billy. You're right. I should have asked you before I did all of this," She lifted a hand to her hair and face. "I won't do it again."
What the fuck was he hearing? She wasn't going to let him tell her how to live her life, was she? Please, God… Tell Eddie he wasn't hearing this bullshit. Bile sat in the back of his throat when he took in the sight of Billy tucking his thumb under her chin and kissing her lips.
"All's forgiven. We can make up tonight. I'll pick you up around six." Billy played with a strand of her straightened hair. "That should give you enough time to freshen up and look like you own a vag again."
Now, Eddie was no hero, but something inside him snapped then. He had heard enough.
Slamming his locker door, Eddie turned towards both of them, sneering at Billy before focusing on Josie.
"You look amazing today, Hopper. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."
She looked as if she was going to cry, mouthing a thank you before averting her attention back to her locker, opening it again after getting a death glare from Billy. Hargrove, on the other hand, was now focused on Munson, giving him a shining white smile laced with venomous intention. Before Eddie knew what was happening, he was pinned against the lockers on the other side of the hallway, facing the wrath of Hopper's abusive boyfriend.
"Who do you think you're looking at, faggot?" Billy pulled Munson forward and slammed him into the lockers once again. "You keep yourself and your freaky ass away from her. Do I make myself clear?"
Eddie knew he couldn't avoid a beating; he would make the most of the scenario. With a deep breath, he went all in.
"When she finally opens her eyes to the fucking mouth-breathing shit you are, Hargrove—I'll be there to pick up the pieces. You fucking cowardly, nutsack-faced–"
A sucker punch to his gut knocked the wind out of him. Eddie remembered seeing Josie try to pry Billy off of him, but a punch to the face left him on the floor, stars circling in his head.
Eddie recalled the memory with particular vividness as he tried to decipher Josie's question. It was a tricky thing to answer. After all, he had wanted to explain to her that he wanted her—that he had wanted her for years. That, Josie Hopper, had been everything his little cynical eyes and pining heart had always yearned for. But seeing her drunk, vulnerable, and altogether (yet again) out of sorts, he thought better than to say so. Eddie had promised himself that if ever he had the chance, he'd never treat her like Billy. And Billy would have taken every advantage he could if he had seen Josie the way she was now. No, Eddie couldn't tell her. Eddie wouldn't be that guy.
"Hopper, you're drunk. You don't know what you're saying." Munson's voice held a twinge of disappointment. Maybe he'd never get his chance?
Josie, on the other hand, riled and huffed in discontentment and disputed him. "I know what I asked you."
Great. So, Josie was not going to make this easy. How was Eddie able to handle this without risking her anger and possible detachment? He honestly couldn't bear the thought of backtracking now, not when he came so close–twice now–to spilling his guts. With a deep breath, Eddie weighed his words carefully.
"You're drunk, Josie. You need to sleep this off, and if you still want to have this conversation, we can. Later tonight."
He could see she wasn't happy with his reply, rolling her eyes and reaching for the last swig of the Vodka. Eddie caught it with a clink as the glass bottle met the metal of his rings. He wouldn't let her drink any more than she already had.
"That's enough, Jos. C'mon, you can sleep it off in the van. You should be all right after school lets out."
He noticed something register in her eyes just then. It was as if Josie realised what she'd asked of him. As if her wandering thoughts embarrassed her or the act of actually sleeping with him made her uncomfortable. She cast her eyes away from his, releasing the bottle.
"It's cool, man. I'm not embarrassed or pissy over it. I just want to make sure you're all right. Despite being the leader of a Satanic Cult and a devil worshiper, I have my moments–rare, mind you–where I'm genuinely concerned for the wellbeing of a…" Eddie placed the bottle down, standing up and reaching for Josie's hand. "Very, good, very brazen friend."
Happy for the lack of resistance she'd given him, Eddie clasped Josie's hand tenderly, steadying her as he pulled her to her feet. Releasing his grip, he was never far away to catch her if she began to veer off in her drunken stupor. Carefully and strategically, Eddie directed her to his van, mumbling under his breath the entire way.
When they reached their destination, Munson was at a loss on where to put her. The back of his van had no padding. There wasn't anything really to make her comfortable if she were to lie down. Josie figured it out for herself, however, finding an old gym duffle bag. She propped it up against the back of the driver's seat, giving her back some cushioning when she leaned against it. Josie blinked hard.
"Just rest. I'll be back out in a bit to check on you." Eddie promised, getting ready to close the door. "Don't wander off. Stay put. Hopper?"
His voice held suspicion.
"I won't go anywhere, cross my heart."
Eddie nodded. "Good."
As Josie slept off the booze she dreamt…
She was standing in the hot summer morning next to Jane, holding her hand. The soft July breeze and singing birds gave no comfort as they listened in silence to the eulogy by Murray, commemorating their father, the hero of Hawkins. They had all decided Murray was the best man for the job, if only because neither Josie, Jane or any other member of their party who knew the truth could get through a single sentence before crumbling into a thousand pieces. For Josie, it was especially hard–for only a few yards away, Billy was being laid to rest by his father, Susan, and Max. Reality seemed to bend into fantasy for the young woman. It was the day her mind began to unravel. Josie's soul tore from the living and moulded purely into a form of simply existing. And no matter how hard she begged herself to cry, Josie could not shed a tear.
There was no way to describe that devastating feeling of loss. Nothing was ever written or put to a song that could bring to life the absence thereof and how deeply Josie longed to be like them. To be able to fill the emptiness within with the presence of nonexistence. It was all a morbid, twisting, and writhing pain, melting into the nothingness that felt like a hollow space in her chest. She hated herself. She hated everything.
"Josie," Nancy's voice rang in her ears, pulling her pale eyes away from her father's marker. She sounded like an angel, ready to save the younger girl from drowning in her sorrows. If only that had been the case.
"The Hargroves are asking about you. Would you like to come over to pay your respects? Do you want me to walk with you?"
How green she felt then. How unprepared for the cruelty of the world she thrust into being present in. What could she even say to them? What would she say to them? What was she supposed to say to them? How in this wide, evil, and unpredictable world was Josie to look Neil and Susan in the eye and lie to them? Could she keep herself steady enough to work up remorse for the loss of their son to a Goddamn made-up fire? The reality couldn't even compare to the torment Billy suffered. It mocked his memory, his life, and his untimely death.
Josie took a deep breath and stared back at Nancy. "I don't know. I don't know what to say."
The brown-haired girl gingerly grasped Josie's arm and brought her into a hug. Nancy's small frame feels unnaturally full next to Josie's. She felt cradled. It was nice.
"Just tell them you are sorry for their loss, and you will keep them in your thoughts. I'll be right there with you." She whispered into Josie's ear. "You can do this."
They released themselves from the embrace and carefully walked the green towards the Hargroves and Max, each looking up from the gravestone when they saw the two girls approach.
Mr Hargrove was crying profusely, tearing Josie from Nancy's hand and wrapping her in a hug.
"Thank you for being there for him in the end." He wept.
Josie could not muster even watery eyes.
"He loved you. We all did."
The blonde glanced at Max, who had her arms crossed over her chest and her body leaned against her mother's.
Taking in a slow, shallow breath, Josie managed to speak.
"I'm sorry for your loss, Mr. Hargrove. Billy meant a lot to me. I'll miss him very much."
"Our condolences to you as well, Josie." Susan offered, her eyes stained with tears. "I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you."
A coldness washes over her now, replacing the hollowed-out corners of her body with bitter dampness. When Josie looks around, only a deep blue darkness surrounds her, and then is shattered by the crimson strikes of foreboding lightning. The world around her seems to decay and pulse with malicious grandeur. Everyone is gone, and Josie is standing vulnerable and alone. Still, no tears came.
For a long while, Josie didn't move but simply stood there, letting the ever-growing feeling of desperation take hold. That was until she heard that ever-familiar voice, waking her from her dreadful musings.
"He will never stop, Josie."
It was Billy.
"He will never stop tormenting you. It's all coming together now, and he will not stop until he has Eleven."
Josie tries her hardest to break free from the numbness chaining her down. Her weakness makes her feel helpless.
"Who? Who is he, Billy? Who is he after?" Her words come out in whispers. Even she has trouble hearing them.
"He wants you to bring him Eleven and will not stop until you do or die."
A trepidation fills her lungs as she frantically looks around, trying to locate her sister. There is nothing, and she becomes painfully aware that she is now in the Upside Down.
"Who? Why does he want Jane? Billy? Billy!"
There has yet to be an answer from Billy. Only the shattering of thunder and lightning across the sky…
Josie wakes up covered in a sheen of sweat. Terrified . It was dark outside.
Having congratulated the members of Hellfire for bringing down Vecna, Eddie very happily said his goodbyes to his friends for the evening. Only Dustin lingered back, studying the older teen as they ventured the halls. Munson figured Henderson wanted to talk about the happenings earlier in the day–not much got by him. He was a clever little butthead. So when he finally spoke, Eddie wasn't so surprised.
"So, you're going to tell her tonight?" His words held a chastising note of impatience.
Eddie raised an eyebrow. "Your tone, Henderson, is not appreciated."
"You're sitting on your ass, doing nothing." Dustin bit back. "The girl of your dreams is right in front of your face, and you're too chickenshit to tell her how you feel."
Dustin hand found Eddie's shoulder. Their footsteps came to a halt.
Eddie was chuckling to himself. "It's more complicated than that. A lot more complicated than that."
They continued walking again, the exit in sight.
"Yeah, well, you have over spring break to tell her, Eddie–two weeks. If you can't manage that–"
"Thank you, Dustin!" Munson pushed past the exit and roamed in the opposite direction of his young friend. "Catch ya around, man. Have a good one!"
Dustin hollered back, completely ignored.
Josie sat on the hood of the van, quietly puffing away on a cigarette she found half-smoked in the ashtray. She was pushing her nightmare from her thoughts, refusing to give in to the idea that the evil that once plagued Hawkins was indeed back. To make matters worse, if it had truly returned, it was looking for Jane, possibly using Josie to locate and bring her back to hell. Josie knew she'd die before voluntarily doing so, but she'd seen what it was capable of. The prospect of being taken over by the Mind Flayer or his minions was not a notion she relished. That was if her nightmares weren't nightmares; fuck, Josie hoped they weren't real. She saw Eddie approach the van alone. Chrissy was nowhere to be seen. That was well enough.
"Hey," She offered, jumping from her spot atop the vehicle.
Eddie waved his hand, popping open the door and dumping his DnD books and materials. His demeanour towards her was verging on the edge of annoyance. As promised, he came to check on her, but Josie had been out like a light. She scared the shit out of him if Eddie was honest with himself. She had been acting so out of character Eddie was beginning to wonder if she was going crazy.
"Have you seen Chrissy yet?" He asked.
She could feel the tension, despising that she was the reason for it, or so she thought. Josie felt like shit for being a hot mess and letting Eddie deal with the brunt of it. It wasn't fair, and she knew a heartfelt apology was in order. When she didn't answer immediately, Munson slammed the van door closed and stared at her with what she could only view as an air of indifference.
"Eddie–"
"No."
Josie became slightly alarmed at the one-word response. Her body shivered at the base of her spine as if someone had walked over her grave.
"No?" It was a mere whisper.
Eddie gave her a painful smile, scratching the back of his head. He let his hands fall to his sides and blew out a nervously.
"Uh, yeah. The answer to your question earlier–it's no. If you were still wondering."
Her question earlier–? Oh. She could feel the heat rise in her chest, spreading to her cheeks. What a fucking idiot she had been.
"I'm so so sorry about earlier. That was so stupid of me to be drinking like that. I just…it's just been difficult lately."
Eddie was staring at her with those brown eyes of his, forearms across his chest, and hands under his armpits. He seemed to be worried, mixed with some form of apprehension.
"Yeah–yeah, you keep saying that. But you see, Hopper, the last time you acted this way you left Hellfire. And honestly…Josie…if you're gonna leave again, you just need to do it. Because I can't take that again. I can't take building myself up and then just—."
Josie could feel her heartbeat inside her head. "Eddie, where is this coming from? Is it because of the Vodka? I am sorry–"
He reached out and took her hand in his.
"Look, I gotta tell you something. If I don't, I'm going to lose my fucking sanity." His voice was shaky, and he could barely keep eye contact.
Josie thought he was about to tell her that the visions were starting for him, too. That was something she was not ready to hear.
"Eddie, you're scaring me…"
"Me too. I'm shit scared," he nervously laughed. "But Josie, I'm fucking madly in love with–"
"Hey, guys!" The voice of Chrissy Cunningham was a death knell. Eddie could have dropped dead.
"Hey, Chrissy !" There was no hiding the sheer disappointment and sarcasm in his voice.
He turned to Josie. "Well, let's get this fucking shit show on the road."
Chrissy looked at the other girl as Eddie–pissed off–climbed into his van and started the engine. Josie shrugged her shoulders and told Cunningham to take the passenger seat.
"How are you holding up?" She inquired of the cheer captain as they both climbed into Eddie's death trap of a vehicle.
She gave a short shrug of her shoulders.
Josie couldn't shake the sensation of falling. It was as if she were falling into complete and total darkness. Eddie's near confession hadn't even registered.
