TPATSD 5

Another week had passed, and the firing no longer felt raw. Alex hadn't yet told his family, or anyone else for that matter. He had just managed to process it and put it behind him. He started looking at his finances seriously, and decided he could do with making a few adjustments while Gabriella was in the NICU, and he was spending his days there. The first thing was to stop buying espresso, lattes, or americano from the cafe and take advantage of the unlimited cups in the parents' lounge. Carry his cinnamon and he would be okay. Sure, it wouldn't be as strong as he was used to, but he'd save some money on coffee purchases. He also decided a packed lunch in the garden would be better than a hot meal from the cafe. Even if that meant that he'd have to start cooking more in the evenings. But he had lots of frozen meals in the deep freezer that he could begin to make his way through. His mom, dad, Leo, Nora, and June had filled the deep freezer in the utility room to the brim with food, both with meals and staples. Three days after June had left, he had opened the spare storage closet in the utility room and found that June had stocked it with additional pantry items, bathroom items, diapers, and other things he would need for Gabriella. He loved his family for that.

Since Henry's last visit to the NICU, he and Alex had been texting fairly frequently. Exchanging at least a dozen texts, not counting the final text of everyday.

'Please tell me, how was your little miss Gabriella doing today?'

Alex thought it was sweet that Henry always asked about her. It made him feel like she was seen in their friendship. Seen in a way that, besides June and Nora, who are family and don't count), his other friends just didn't get. Although they texted every day, Henry hadn't made any more unexpected visits to the NICU.

Gabriella had improved so much in a week too; she had taken a step down from the HDU (High Dependency Unit) to the SCN (Special Care Nursery). She was breathing steadily and reliably. Off all support, she was taking the bottle and her NGT (Nasal Gastric Tube) and OGT (Oral Gastric Tube) were removed. She was maintaining her own body temperature and off the monitoring for her body temperature. She was gaining weight steadily now and off the fortified thickener with the additional nutrients.

Jo had whispered to him that if she continued trekking on the same path, she might be ready to be discharged at the end of the week. Alex had texted the good news to Henry as soon as he had settled in for some kangaroo care time with her. On this particular morning, he had arrived extra early, wanting to catch the doctors when they were on their rounds. He had some questions regarding what the next steps for her would be, both therapy-wise and growth-wise.

"Good morning, Mr. Diaz." Dr. McCartney greeted him, seeing the father sitting there waiting for them to appear on their rounds. He had his laptop sprawled out on his lap, and a typed set of specific questions prepared for this morning's meeting.

"It's Claremont-Diaz." Alex corrected him gently. This doctor reminded him too much of his former boss. And that made him make a mental note to start the job search again. He could do it from her bedside. "So, what is next for Gabriella?"

"Today, the ophthalmologist is coming in and she will be conducting a ROP check on Gabriella." Dr McCartney answered him, not bothering to apologize for butchering his surname. "A ROP check is Retinopathy of prematurity. ROP is a problem with how the blood vessels develop on the surface of the retina. The retina is the layer at the back of the eye that's like a film in a camera. When a baby is born prematurely, these blood vessels are immature like the rest of the baby. In most premature babies, the retinal blood vessels grow properly. In some premature infants, the blood vessels start to grow the wrong way. Instead of branching like a tree, the vessels link up - side by side and in some cases grow away from the retina towards the centre of the eye. The severity of ROP is graded from stage one to stage five. Stage one is the mildest and stage five the most severe.

We do not understand why some babies develop ROP and others do not. More research continues to be done to solve this mystery. Severe ROP is very rarely seen in babies weighing more than 1,250 grams at birth. Many years ago, ROP was more common and was linked to excessive use of oxygen. Now the supply of oxygen to premature babies is very closely monitored and the amount of oxygen given to your baby is very carefully calculated and controlled. As a result, ROP is less common, but it still occurs. It is well known that the sicker and smaller a baby is, the more likely it is that ROP will develop.

In Gabriella's birth weight category, there is a 16% chance of having ROP. In most babies, ROP is mild and over a period of weeks the ROP gradually disappears. The ophthalmologist will check your baby's eyes every one to two weeks and you will be told the results of each examination. Only about 5% of babies checked for ROP actually need treatment. Mild ROP does not need treatment as it almost always goes away by itself. If your baby needs treatment this is called threshold disease (severe stage three ROP or higher). If your baby develops threshold ROP, treatment options will be discussed with you. The treatment is generally done with laser and in 90% of babies needing treatment, the ROP disappears, and sight is preserved.

"How does the ophthalmologist check for ROP?" Alex asked. That question wasn't on the list, but it was a valid question. This doctor had already treated him like he was stupid once before, Alex was determined not to let it happen again.

"The ophthalmologist will place a numbing eye drops in her eyes called Phenylephrine 2.5% minims, as well as Tropicamide and the dose is then repeated 10 minutes after the initial dose set a time to allow the drops to dilute the pupils. Usually that takes an hour. Phenylephrine: common side effects include rebound miosis, hyperemia, stinging on instillation. Tropicamide: rare side effects include photophobia, stinging of eyes (transient), blurred vision and transient intraocular pressure elevation (especially in pre-existing ocular hypertension" The doctor replied. Usually, parents aren't too interested in this aspect of the procedure, just the results. "Once that dilation has occurred, they will take Gabriella to the procedure room. Ensure required dilating eye drops have been administered at the appropriate time. Oral sucrose will be administered prior to the examination if needed for pain relief. Gabriella will be positioned supine in the bed and wrapped securely in a blanket. Her vital signs will be monitored throughout the procedure; ask the ophthalmologist to cease the examination if the infant is unstable. The ophthalmologist and ANUM will use a surgical instrument keep the eye open. The instrument used to hold the eye open during an eye procedure is called a wire clip. It is a surgical instrument made of double-banded nylon monofilament wire loops designed to grasp onto and secure the iris, making eye manipulation simpler during procedures. Then they will begin the examination. It will take no longer than fifteen minutes with the wire clip being used for no longer than two minutes total."

"Can I be there?" Alex asked hesitantly. He understood the importance of the procedure, he really did. But he wanted to be there for her. She was his everything.

"Alex, it's a very traumatic procedure to witness, as a parent." Maggie explained softly. "As a parent, it is your right to be there, but I recommend that you don't. I know it's going to be hard to leave Gabriella knowing what will be happening while you're away, but I promise I will be with her every step of the way and that she will be ok. The ophthalmologist is one of the best that the NHS has to offer. She has specialised in ROP for over twenty years. If I were in your shoes, she is the ophthalmologist I'd want preforming the procedure on my own child."

"The ophthalmologist will be here at 1300 hours today, Mr. Claremont-Diaz." Dr. McCartney told him the truth. "It's a standard procedure, but essential, and checking it now can prevent problems with the retina later. It lets you be one step closer to taking her daughter home."

Alex nodded his thanks at the doctor, especially since the doctor had finally gotten his name right. With the doctor wishing him a good day, they moved on. Alex felt his phone vibrate, and picking it up, he noticed it was Henry asking how his morning was going.

'Gabriella is goin 4 procedure this afternoon, they won't let me b there 4 her. I get 2 do nothing but wait 4 her 2 b done.' Alex replied, not really thinking beyond the whole concept of having to leave his daughter while she underwent a procedure.

Henry sent back a supportive smiley face and told him.

'Alex, you've got this.'


When midday rolled around, Maggie administered the first dose of phenylephrine 2.5 percent minims, as well as the Tropicamide. And again, the second dose, ten minutes later. Maggie gently nudged Alex out of his chair at five minutes to one and urged him to go have something to drink and eat. Then promised she would call him the second Gabriella was back in her bed.

Alex's heart physically ached, and he kissed the crown of his daughter's head, before placing her gently in Maggie's arms, ready for the procedure. Walking away from Gabriella in that moment was one of the hardest things he had ever had to do, as a parent so far. Exiting the NICU, Alex took a deep breathe, trying not to cry at the feeling in his chest.

"Alex?" Henry called out, from his seat beside Shaan and a PPO in the small waiting room, opposite the exit. Alex looked up at Henry's voice, surprised to see the prince sitting there, waiting for him. "This is for you." He said, handing over a hot, extra strong latte with cinnamon to him. "Bathroom or food first?"

"Huh?" Alex asked, really confused by what was happening. He was confused why was Henry here. He felt the tears prickling in his eyes harder and in that moment, it made him miss June and her calming presence. But Henry was doing a good job of being a substitute for his sister.

"Go clean yourself up in the bathroom, Alex." Henry whispered to him. Henry could see that Alex was struggling to grasp what he was saying. He took the coffee cup back from Alex and handed it to Shaan, nodding to him and his PPO, as he dragged Alex by the hand into the small visitor's bathroom, off the waiting room. Standing Alex in front of the sink, Henry wet a piece of the paper hand towel and gently wiped at the father's eyes, before drying them.

In the small space of the bathroom, Alex suddenly wrapped his arms around Henry's waist. "Thank you." He whispered. Alex realised in that moment, that Henry was his friend, and he was grateful for Henry's calmness and his support.

"Don't thank me for being your friend, Alex." Henry replied, letting Alex pull back from him. "You needed someone, and I am here for you. That's what friends do for one another. Honestly, I don't think I would be able to achieve much either today. Between you and your beautiful girl, worrying about you two is a full-time job. Someone's got to do it. Now, do you need the facilities before we go to grab some lunch and fresh air in the garden?"

"Haven't needed help in the bathroom since I was two." Alex jested his retort and Henry was relieved to see the usual smiling Alex back in his presence. Before Henry stepped out and left Alex to himself.

When Alex exited the bathroom, Shaan handed him his coffee back and escorted the two men out of the NICU reception and up into the small garden off the side of the hospital. His Equerry Shaan and the PPO's had closed off the garden and supplied them with some sandwiches for both of them, hot tea for Henry and bottled water for them both.

The two men ate and conversed normally, sharing their mutual love of Star Wars, even if their favourite movie differed, as well as their love for Harry Potter as they ate. Alex told Henry about his sister and her wife, and in turn Henry told Alex about his own sister, Bea. They bonded over growing up with an older sister and how their sisters loved to torment them.

The conversation halted at one moment and Henry scrutinised Alex carefully. "Are you going to tell me what has been bothering you? Or shall I have Shaan torture it out of you?"

Alex rested his face in the palm of his hands and scrubbed at it in a motion that Henry recognised Alex did when he was stressed. It had been his secret, his burden. He hadn't wanted to share with anyone. He was ashamed of how it had all played out in the end. He had never been fired before and although he had processed it. He was still a little angry and ashamed of it. But Henry was trying to be his friend. Henry had taken time out of his busy royal schedule to keep Alex company while Gabriella had her procedure. Full knowing that all of Alex's family had returned to the States and he was alone.

"I was ... ah... fired." Alex admitted in a small, shy whisper. Shame flooding his cheeks. He tried to keep his anger at bay and his hurt checked. he didn't want Henry thinking he was a mess. Henry might take his friendship and run in the other direction and in this moment, all Alex had was Henry's friendship, and his baby girl.

"Oh Alex, that's awful." Henry replied. Alex could see Henry was angry on his behalf too. "How? Why?"

"Apparently because I am a single father now, I can no longer give them the same level of commitment to the firm, as what I did before Gabriella was born."

"Are you ... Will you be, ok?"

"Sure, we will." Alex perked up. He didn't want to be anyone's charity case and he didn't need the prince of England feeling sorry for him. He had some pride.

"That is not exactly what I meant." Henry tried again. "I meant that I am sure that you will find another job. I was asking about your emotional space."

"I have had some time to process it, and honestly, as much as it sucks. At least I didn't find out later on, at a time when Gabriella gets sick, and I can't come in." Alex explained his rationale to Henry. "By having it happen like this, I can still, hopefully, get a good enough reference I can pick up some work with another law firm. Even if it is only part time at first. Gabriella has to be my priority, Henry. I'm all she has in this world."

"Alex, I want you to listen to my words and listen good." Henry paused, waiting for Alex to pay attention and take his words seriously. "You are a wonderful father to Gabriella. You put her needs above your own like a father should. You spend quality time with her. You tell her stories, and you show her how much you love her. They're the earmarks of a wonderful father. I should know, mine was the best and I miss him every day."

"But, what if that's not enough?" Alex left the unasked question alone, but Henry heard it anyway. What if I am not enough?

"Alex, you are more than enough." Henry huffed out loud. Henry had depression and anxiety and had since his father's passing. But hearing the way that Alex self-deprecated himself constantly really got to him. It had taken henry only a nanosecond to remember that when people constantly put themselves down, it usually because it's something that someone else has told them about themselves their whole life. That realisation hit so close to home, making his thoughts turn to his grandmother, the current queen of England and every nasty, hurtful thing she has ever told him about himself. "I just want to grab whoever has ever made you feel like you're not enough and... I don't know... Strangle them."

"Ditto, sweetheart." Alex replied back and Henry thought that he might accidentally swallow his own tongue at both the southern Texas drawl and the nickname that had dropped out of Alex's mouth.

As the two of them begun heading back to the NICU, Alex not being able to stand being away from his daughter for a second longer, Henry caught the look that Shaan was giving him. "Before I forget, remember last time I was here? I mentioned an NDA." Henry took the offered paperwork from his equerry.

"Legalese - my very own love language. Henry, you shouldn't have." Alex teased his friend. "I hope you don't mind if I take a look over these in bed tonight. Some light bedtime reading."

"So that's what gets you all hot and bothered. Good to know." Henry retorted to Alex. He had clocked Alex as flirtatious by nature, but this was only Shaan's second time meeting him. He would have to explain to his equerry that Alex's behaviour was his normal mechanisms.

"In your dreams, Darlin'." Alex argued, in their usual banter. Alex always seemed to hear his Texan twang stronger in Henry's presence. Whether it was because of Henry's polished, upper-class English accent, or whether he was putting more of drawl on his words to subconsciously show Henry they were classes apart. Alex didn't know. All he knew was that, historically, Alex never managed to make friends this easy. Nor did they tend to stick around this long. With the exception of Nora, but Nora was June's wife, so she didn't count. "Speakin' of darlin's, mine will be just returning from her procedure. Did you want to come and say hello?"

"Nice segue." Henry smiled. Being a writer, he appreciated Alex's smooth transition. As a gay man, who was beginning to feel things about his new friend, there was only so much he could take. "'Before my body I throw my warlike shield. Lay on, Macduff, and damn'd be him that first cries, 'Hold, enough!'"

"Shakespeare, very nice." Alex laughed softly and ducked his head coyly. A small blush gracing his face. "I'd say I was impressed, if I didn't know that you had PhD in Literature. Did you really just quote Macbeth at me?"

"So, what do you know? Some of you Americans do know culture?" Henry sassed back at him, as Alex, he and Shaan scrubbed into the NICU.


As Henry, Alex and Shaan arrived back by Gabriella's bedside, Maggie was just lowering her into the bassinette. "Alex, I am glad you're back; I was just about to telephone you." Maggie greeted him, before realising that Henry and Shaan were with him. "Oh, Your Royal Highness, we weren't expecting you."

"Someone here had to keep Alex company during Little Miss Gabriella's procedure." Henry smiled at the nurse. Maggie had been the same nurse on duty during each of his visits so far. "I trust she is well."

"Papi's going to give Gabriella her bottle and you'll be able to see for yourself." Maggie replied. She didn't comment as Alex automatically got himself settled in the recliner and Henry pulled a chair up to sit beside him. Like he usually did.

Henry peered over Alex's naked shoulder, directly into those big, beautiful eyes of hers. He felt his heart physically flutter. This baby girl made him feel something that no one else had ever made him feel before in his life. She made him feel hopeful. Like no matter what life threw at him, he would be able to handle it. She also made his heart full of love and joy.

"What do you think, Henry?" Alex asked him softly, keeping his undivided attention on his daughter. "Does she pass muster?"

"She is perfect." Henry swallowed hard. He could feel himself getting emotional at the thought of Gabriella, and if that didn't sting a little bit. His brother had two children; Arthur, or Artie for short and James, or Jamie, as Henry called him. Much to Philip's dismay. He didn't feel the same feelings with Philip's boys, as what he did with Gabriella. To add insult to injury, his sister-in-law Martha, was expecting again. Another son.

Shaan was able to pay more attention to Henry today, than what he had been able to on his first visit to the NICU. Originally, when Henry had no plans penciled in for the day, Shaan had planned to do some housekeeping tasks with various files in his office. He had been with Henry when he had received Alex's text message about Gabriella's procedure. Henry hadn't hesitated, he had immediately known he wanted to be at the hospital for Alex and for his little girl.

Right now, Shaan could see how much his charge really cared for Alex's little girl. Despite asking Shaan for an NDA, and Henry's denial that it was for a rendezvous, Shaan had forced himself to wonder why the hell Henry wanted Alex to sign one. At first, he had thought that perhaps Henry was in denial, or that he was trying to protect Alex's sexuality. But as he witnessed Henry take care of Alex when he had left the NICU distraught and listened to the two them banter and bicker over lunch, he had a realisation. Henry had made a friend. Henry had become friends with Alex. True friends, not just PR friends. Henry wanted a friendship where he could confide in Alex, trust Alex with his secrets, vent to Alex about everything and anything and commiserate with Alex about the highs and lows of everyday life. Henry hadn't wanted to close himself to the chance of someone new. Which had been his default setting since Arthur's passing. Henry was seeking Alex's friendship. He was proud of Henry for taking that step.

If on the off chance, that Henry decided to pursue the younger man, in hopes of a relationship, the NDA also protected Alex and Gabriella from being talked about by the prince. Not that Henry would do that. Shaan wasn't even sure of Alex's orientation. Initially, he'd thought the man was straight as they came, and Henry would suffer a small, unrequited crush on, except that Alex had a flirtatious nature and he'd caught Alex's eye stray to both the men and women in his orbit. Shaan had been around the LBGTQIA community through Henry long enough to know that it was poor form to ponder someone's sexuality. That it was no one's business but their own.

Watching the love, light and smile grace Henry's face, as he watched Alex feed and talk to his daughter, was somewhat intoxicating for Shaan. He had never seen that much pure emotion cross the prince's face; in all the years he had known him. And he had known Henry his entire life. He had been Arthur Fox's best friend and Equerry first, before becoming Henry's equerry when the lad turned thirteen and first went off to Eton. It was as if Henry felt something for the baby Claremont-Diaz child.

Alex was burping her and when she let out a blech, Henry nudged Alex into some unbridled laughter. "Just like her Papi." Henry had teased him. Alex rolled his eyes at Henry's words, Shaan came to realise that it wasn't the first time that Henry had landed that particular joke.

As Alex cradled the baby in his arms, Henry leaned over and stroked Gabriella's arm. The touch seemed particularly hard and Shaan had been about to correct the prince to a softer touch when Alex smiled. "You remembered."

"Firm touches, as not to upset her heart rate." Henry replied, looking at Alex and Gabriella. "Soft touches are ticklish and not good for her."

Alex eased his way out of the overstuffed chair and onto his feet, keeping Gabriella firmly snuggled in his arms. "Come on Henry, step up and take a seat." Alex was holding Gabriella by one hand and taking Henry's other hand in his and guiding the prince to sit in the recliner. "Here you go, Your Majesty."

Alex leaned down and lowered his baby girl into Henry's arms. Henry let his instincts take over and cradled the tiny baby girl close to his chest. Alex hovered, watching him with his daughter carefully. The fact that Alex was shirtless had seemed to escape his attention. But not Henry's. Henry now had an uninhibited view of Alex's entire chest and torso. His sculpted muscles, rock hard abs, his brown nipples, that Henry was loathed to admit he would happily taste every square inch with his tongue, if given the chance.

Tearing his eyes from Alex and his naked torso, he chose to focus on the baby in his arms took a tremendous inner strength that he was sure he didn't have before he met Alex and Gabriella. "Look at you, Darling." Henry cooed softly at her, his eyes locking onto Gabriella's. Her eyes seemed like they were a hazelnut in colour, dark and alluring. Regrettably for Henry, they were the same shade as her father's. Eyes that were all too easy to get lost in.

Alex had reclaimed his button down and slipped it on, before taking a seat on the arm of the overstuffed chair, so he could see both Henry and Gabriella. "Looks like she thinks you pass muster, too." Alex teased his friend. Before lowering his voice and chuckling softly, as not to startle his daughter. "You know you can never tell June, Nora or the grandparents that you were the first person beside me to hold her."

"A secret I shall take it to the grave." Henry smiled, looking up at him with a soft smile, before tearing his eyes away from Alex and back to Gabriella.

Shaan saw the moment that Henry fell in love with Gabriella, all over again. Shaan had been there when Henry had held both of his nephews for the first time, but he had never seen this much love and devotion pour out of the prince before. Shaan almost felt like he had to look away, like he was intruding on something he shouldn't be. But he didn't. He too, privately marveled that he was the one that got to witness this event. He felt like he needed to witness this. To be here for this moment because Arthur and Catherine weren't.

"Perhaps you'd like a photo to capture the secret?" Shaan offered, pulling out his own phone. That way he could discreetly slip the photo to Catherine, and perhaps Bea if she was lucky.

When Shaan captured a handful of photos on his phone, he looked them over. One was particularly beautiful. Alex was perched on the arm of the overstuffed armchair beside Henry, his arm dangling loosely along the back of the chair, as he leaned over to touch his daughter. Henry was looking down at her, completely enthralled with Gabriella, the look of love pouring out of his very being. Gabriella's whole had wrapped around his little pinky. Shaan held his finger over the trash icon on his phone, wondering if he should delete it or not. The photo made him think they looked a little too much like a new family. Ultimately, he decided not to delete it. Instead, he requested Alex's telephone number and forwarded all of the images on to Alex. "For her baby book, of course." Shaan smiled.

Now Shaan had Alex's number too.