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Chapter 148

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The Bradford-Grant Christmas Dinner

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Inside the stunning Dining Room, there was a Christmas explosion of decorated trees and wreaths in red and gold, along with huge red poinsettias everywhere you looked.

The romantic room was aflush with golden candlelight, causing each couple to reach for their mate's hand as they walked to the long family table in the very middle of the room.

The children were racing around reading the place cards so they could tell each person where to sit.

The table was set with the best of the best, and a small string orchestra played Christmas Carols softly in the background.

The catering staff appeared even more formal than the Bradfords' regular staff, as though they were determined to impress, not realizing that the Bradfords would much rather them be a bit more relaxed.

Once the children helped everyone find their seats, the families remained standing while Edward led them in their Christmas Dinner prayer.

"Dear Heavenly Father, we thank You from the bottom of our hearts for the most precious, most selfless gift ever given, the gift of your Son, whose birthday we are now celebrating. We thank you for this remarkable year You have given each of us with its many opportunities to serve. We pray that we have done as You would have us to do and help us to learn how to even give of ourselves more in the coming year. In this most wonderful year, we particularly thank you for expanding our family, giving us our beloved Nathan and Allie, along with Archie and Sophia who have been with us through thick and thin for so many years now. We love them already as our own, and we pray for your protection over them. We also pray your mighty blessings be bestowed on the family Nathan, Millicent, and Allie have already formed. Particularly so, as they stand before you and declare their undying love one to the other, making their bond a binding one as husband and wife and daughter forever. Bless this our first Christmas night as we all spend it together and bless this delectable food to the nourishment of our body, we pray in your most holy name, Amen!"

"And now before we sit, please pass the Christmas Crackers, mandatory for a proper English Christmas!"

This elicited cheers from those family members who knew what to expect next.

A pair of butlers with silver trays passed tagged crackers, one to each family member.

"Now that our excitement has built, please hold your own cracker in your right hand, and when I count to three, pull your partner or neighbor's cracker with your free left hand. One, two, three!"

The sound of paper Christmas crackers exploded throughout the room, with everyone laughing and scooping up their goodies while trying to see what was still left inside.

First, there were paper crowns, each one sillier than the next, but required headgear for the remainder of the dinner, even for Edward!

"Before we break our crackers, there's a special gift sitting right in the center of the table, to be given to the person who can answer this question. Is everyone ready?" asked Edward.

"Ready!" was the enthusiastic reply, as this family happened to be about as competitive as it gets.

"Who can tell me what the explosive in Christmas crackers is?"

"There is none? asked Richard.

"Sorry, Richard. Afraid that question might be a little unfair, Edward, as it's rather easy, at least for a Mountie. The answer is gunpowder, which is a combination of potassium nitrate, charcoal, and sulfur. Each cracker contains a cardboard tube with a tiny strip of paper that's been treated with the gunpowder mixture, and that's the pop we've just heard as we were opening our crackers!" (*190)

"No, fair is fair," insisted Edward. "Congratulations, Nathan! You've just won the present in the center of the table! Neither your father nor I knew the answer, and we've popped a lot of crackers between us in our lifetimes."

As Nathan opened the elaborate package, Richard couldn't help but tease his brother and best friend.

"Come on, Dad, being a Mountie has to be an unfair advantage!"

"Open it, open it!" rang the chant around the table.

Inside the big box, was another box, then another, then another, and finally a small envelope.

As Nathan opened the envelope, a broad smile formed on his face, one of pure delight, as he slipped the envelope to Millicent.

"Darling, will you accompany me to dinner for two at the Au PIED de COCHON?"

Millicent reached to kiss Nathan's cheek.

"That's a definite yes, my Love! Any time you choose, I'll be anxiously awaiting!"

"Hey! Are you sure that certificate is not for four?" asked Richard.

"Richard," warned Margaret, teasingly. "But seriously, I'd give a lot to be included, too. That restaurant is beyond anything we have in all of Toronto!"

"Which is why we should go too!" insisted Richard.

"No, Sweetheart, Nathan and Millicent deserve a romantic night out ALONE, before their big day!"

"Margaret is absolutely right, Richard," sided his Mother.

Edward shook his head at his grown son's antics and cleared his throat.

"Now we'll sit and go around the table to share the joke, motto, or quote you've found inside your crackers!" instructed Edward.

"I'll start," offered William. "What does Father Christmas do when his elves misbehave?"

"I know! He sacks them!" cried out a confident Richard.

"That's one point for Richard!"

"Mine is a fill-in-the-blank," hinted Pippa. "I will honor Christmas in my Heart, and blank!" (*191)

"And try to keep it all the year, Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol!" answered Nathan without having to think. (*192)

"Very good, Son!" complimented Sophia.

"That's one for Nathan, but feels like it should be at least three, one for the quote, one for the book, and one for the author!" grinned Pippa.

"I knew I loved you, Pippa. Three it is!" winked Nathan.

"Now that's not at all fair!" pouted Richard.

"Richard, be a good sport and an example for your son," warned Margaret.

"Papa's too competitive, Mama, to be a really good sport!" interjected Jackson. "But he does try!"

"See, my son knows me well!"

"Not something to be proud of, my Love!" chastised Margaret drily, but with the look of love and acceptance in her eyes.

"It's okay Mama, Papa means well!"

"Again, my son knows me very well!" grinned Richard.

"Mine says name a Christmas Carol with the word Angel in the title," read Jackson.

"Angels We Have Heard on High!" called out Millicent. (*193)

"Auntie Millicent got it! So, she gets a point!"

"I'm not sure what this is, but this is what mine says," began Maggie. "Why are mummies…big fans…of Christmas?"

"Hmm," mused Archie.

"Maggie, I think I have it!"

"Allie?"

"Because they love to wrap presents? Get it mummies, wrapping? Wrapped mummies?"

"From the mouths of babes," complimented Allie's Grappa. "We adults missed that one!"

"Okay, mine is easier, I think!" announced Allie, but a bit uncertainly.

"What instrument did the Christmas turkey play?"

"Got it," stated Nathan, most confidently. "The drums because he was the only one with the two drumsticks!"

"Dad, how did you get that?"

"Do I get two points? One for each drumstick?"

"Foul," called Richard.

"Sorry, Uncle Richard, it's a two-pointer! Says so right here."

"Looks like I'm next," winked Archie. "What happened to the man who stole the Advent Calendar?"

"Why, he got 25 days!" laughed Millicent.

"Em, I was gonna say that!"

"Too slow, Dear Brother."

"What is the best gift of all? Hint it has to do with the greatest gift ever given that Edward mentioned earlier," smiled Sophia. "That was the Baby Jesus, but we're looking for another word, something related, something free to all of us."

"Can you give us another hint?" asked Luciana who didn't like to be stumped. "No, wait, I know! It's love!"

"Luciana gets the point!"

"And my turn is next. This one's a riddle! What keeps falling over and over again at the North Pole, but never gets hurt no matter how much it falls?"

"It's not the elves," pondered Richard.

"And it can't be Santa or Mrs. Claus," piped up Jackson.

"And it's not the reindeer," thought Allie out loud.

"What falls at the North Pole," asked Richard with his thinking cap on.

"I've got it, Richard! It's snow!" grinned Nathan. "And lots of it!"

"Is that right, Auntie Luciana?" asked Richard to save face hoping it wasn't.

"Sorry, Son, Nathan has won the point again!"

"Here's mine and it's a riddle, too. What do reindeer put on their Christmas Tree?" grinned Margaret.

"Has to be ornaments just like the rest of us, unless they prefer candy canes!" offered Richard.

"Or reindeer food," suggested William.

"Got to be 'reindeer hornaments!' laughed Nathan.

"No way!" shouted Richard."

"Yes, way, Darling! Nathan gets the point once again!"

"Let's see!" mused Richard most dramatically. "Mine asks a most serious question: where do penguins keep their savings?"

"Probably stash it in their underwater banks for safety purposes," laughed Pippa.

"Or bury it in their snow banks!" offered Nathan with a grin.

"Nathan Grant, did you see my paper?"

"I'm at the opposite end of the table, Bro!" and Nathan threw up his hands in mock surrender.

"Yet he does it again! I'm studying up for next year, I can sure tell you that! So beware, Dear Brother! I'm shooting for a perfect score!"

"Might not want to shoot. I'll definitely beat you there," chuckled Nathan.

Millicent was thoroughly enjoying her quiet fiance's devastating coup over her elder brother, who had always proudly seemed to win these little challenges previously.

She cleared her throat, so as not to laugh, although others hadn't been as successful holding back.

"My turn," and Millicent opened her tiny paper to read from it.

"What did Adam say to Eve the day before Christmas?"

"That's tough? Do we get a clue?"

"Not sure I can give you one without giving it away! Maybe just Adam in the Garden of Eden."

"Tomorrow's Christmas?" guessed Richard.

"No, sorry, Richard!"

"Could he have told her what he wanted for Christmas?" asked Pippa.

"Maybe, but that's not it."

"I've got it!" laughed Edward. "Adam said: Merry Christmas, Eve!"

"You got the point, Father! And that one was hard, I think."

"Allie, you should get this one with all your kittens. Who delivers presents to kittens?" asked her Dad.

"Well, it has to be Santa."

"But what kind of Santa?"

"Santa Claus of course!"

"How about a special Santa… rhymes with Claus…"

"I don't know. A special Santa for cats and kittens?"

"That's right. What kind of Santa for cats and kittens?"

"Oh, each of your kittens has them," hinted her Grappa.

"And it rhymes with Claus!" reminded her Dad.

"Santa Paws!" called out a jubilant Allie. "I got it!"

"That's my Girl!" clapped her Grappa.

"Victoria, you're next, Dear!" prompted Edward.

"When is a Christmas dinner bad for your health?" asked Victoria, reading from the note in her cracker.

"Too much food?" asked Richard.

"If you get sick?" asked Jackson.

Victoria just shook her head.

"When is Christmas dinner bad for your health? Well, I'd say it's pretty bad if you happen to be the turkey that's being carved," noted Nathan.

"That's it!"

"Mother don't encourage him. How many points is he up to?" commented Richard with no small amount of dread.

"Richard, no one's counting!" laughed Nathan.

"Except me, Darling. I think that's seven!" winked Millicent.

"Looks like I'm the last," grinned Edward. "Get ready! This one doesn't sound very Christmasy to me but here goes. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?"

"Oh, no, this is one of Dad's 'Dad jokes' Grandpapa!"

"You know this one, too?" asked a non-plussed Richard.

"Of course, Richard, you're slipping. You get frostbite of course!"

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190. Christmas Crackers, General Information, Public Domain.

191 – 192. Quote from the Book, A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens, December 19th, 1843, Public Domain.

193. Angels We Have Heard on High, from a traditional song of unknown origin known as "Les Anges dans Nos Campagnes," paraphrased English lyrics by James Chadwick, the Roman Catholic Bishop of Hexham and Newcastle, 1862, Public Domain.