Chapter 2: I Don't Want the World To See Me

Charlie sat in the hard, plastic hospital chair, silently crying while waiting for the others. His hands shook as he stared at the floor, hot tears blurring his vision until he felt someone's hand touch his shoulder. He jumped, startled until he realized it was just Linda, who'd ridden with Orion, Julie, Connie, Guy, and Averman, which meant Russ, Dwayne, Dean, Fulton, Goldberg, Kenny, and Luis were with the police.

Charlie just turned his face into Linda's abdomen, and she hugged him close, stroking his hair as he felt Orion leaning a hand on his shoulder, his grip gentle yet firm.

"Oh God!" he gasped.

"Charlie, shhh," Linda whispered. "Charlie, it's gonna be okay . . . They'll . . . they'll fix him . . ."

"This can't be fixed, dammit! Fuck! I . . . If I see Riley's face again, I'm . . . that son of a bitch, I'm gonna kill him!"

"Charlie, enough!" Orion barked, causing the Ducks captain to look at his coach through tear-stained eyes. Orion's face was firm and determined, his lips pressed in a thin line, but his grip on Charlie's shoulder was gentle, his voice calm and commanding. "Listen, this isn't going to help Banks right now. He needs you. And you can't be there for him if you get yourself in trouble."

"He's right." Charlie nearly jumped out of his skin as Fulton and the others came over. Although Fulton looked about ready to bash somebody's head in, he also had a steady look in his eyes as he reached over and grabbed Charlie's shoulder, shaking him slightly. "Conway, pull it together, dammit! You don't think I wanna kill those assholes, either? I do. But that's not gonna help anything. Just be there for Banks tonight, 'cause he's gonna need you there. He probably won't trust any of us, but he will trust you."

Charlie nodded, taking a shuddering breath. "Thanks, Fulton." Fulton had ways of putting things into perspective. It proved he understood most people, or at least he tried to.

Fulton nodded, satisfied that Charlie wasn't planning on running out to beat the tar out of Riley and his goons.

They all continued sitting there, with Linda keeping her arms wrapped tightly around Charlie's shoulders as they sat there and waited until, finally, a familiar face rushed into the lobby of the ER.

"COACH!" Charlie yelled, tackling Bombay in an embrace, and Gordon hugged him back just as tightly, stroking his hair and rocking him slightly. Charlie let out a dry sob as he clung to Bombay, who rubbed a hand up and down Charlie's back and shushed him.

"Thank God you're here," said Julie, sniffling and wiping her eyes.

"I plan on keeping my word," said Bombay, walking over and keeping Charlie as close to him as possible. "Did anyone call Adam's parents?"

"We don't know," said Dwayne. "We just got here."

"I'll go see what I can find out," said Gordon, keeping one arm wrapped around Charlie's back as he approached the front desk. "Excuse me, ma'am?" he said to the receptionist. "An Adam Banks was just brought here not long ago? I want an update on how he is."

"Are you family?" the nurse asked.

"No, I'm his former hockey coach; he was on my team, the Ducks," Gordon said. "He may not be family, but he's close enough."

"The doctor will notify you once Adam is done getting checked out."

Bombay sighed; he knew this would happen; Charlie could tell that much. "Thank you," he said before going to his Ducks and Orion. "What the hell happened?" he demanded

"We found him in the locker room naked from the waist down; Scooter was there when we found him, but he said he had nothing to do with it, told us that he'd stayed behind to check on Adam and make sure he was all right. Riley told us to go check the locker room; he'd been gone too long after curfew," explained Luis, whose eyes were misty and red-rimmed.

"And we found blood on one of the hockey sticks," added Guy, looking green.

"Things at Edan Hall really have changed," sighed Gordon.

"What do you mean?" asked Connie, whose face was stained with dried tears and the new ones that kept falling.

"When I went to school there, I didn't play for the Warriors; I gave up hockey after my dad died, and I lost the Hawks that championship game. But I hung around those on Varsity enough to know that there were times they screwed around; they'd rough up a few people here and there – mostly just shoving and body checks, nothing more than what Fulton and Dean do on the ice – and they'd get girls drunk at parties, but nothing like this has ever been done," explained Gordon, shaking his head.

"But you had to have known that if they were doing that back then, it would escalate to something more now," said Ken, who was quietly crying.

"I don't think anybody thought of that back then," Gordon admitted, looking embarrassed. It made Charlie wonder whether Gordon had participated in any of that. At the look Charlie gave him, Gordon shrunk back. "I don't mean I did any of that," he said, "I just mean most of the people I'd gone to school with did that. Believe me. My mother would've killed me if she found out I participated in that. And the dean at the time, he never did anything; it was every man for himself. You did what you had to do to survive those four years because if you said anything, you were made to feel like you were at fault."

"Well, he should've," said Linda angrily, her eyes wet. "Because the things they're doing now . . . Buckley's not doing anything to fix it because if he did, this wouldn't have happened!" More tears flooded her eyes, her face looking almost broken as she whispered, "I just . . . I pray and hope nothing like this happens to anyone ever again."

"How bad was it?" asked Bombay, his voice grave as he hugged Charlie a little closer. "Real bad?"

"Yeah, they've done nothing but harass us from the moment we came," piped up Goldberg.

"It served them right when Charlie snuck them horse crap," added Russ.

"That's what they get for stealing Ken's lunch every day," piped up Guy, who looked furious.

"Did you really?" Gordon quirked an eyebrow at Charlie, who looked down at the ground, his cheeks flaring hotly.

"They were stupid enough to think it was brownies," Charlie mumbled.

Gordon ruffled his hair. "I'll let that one slide, because that was pretty smart."

Even Orion cracked a grin at that. "Yeah, it was." He chuckled lightly as Charlie glanced up at him, bewildered. Who would've thought Orion had a sense of humor? That was when they heard a stifled chuckle from Averman, and Charlie glanced up, staring at Averman incredulously through his tear-soaked eyes.

"Sorry, just trying to imagine Coach in high school," Averman said. "'Cause I'm guessing you weren't any taller than you are now."

"Shut up, Averman," Bombay said, rolling his eyes before he reached forward and pushed Averman lightly by the shoulder, which caused Connie and Julie to start giggling. Even Averman chuckled a little harder. It was just the sort of thing they needed to break the tension.

"Has anyone called the kid's parents yet?" Orion asked, getting right to the point. The tension just as quickly returned as it had disappeared.

"They should be here by now," whispered Connie.

"Though I don't know if Adam will even want to face his dad, so maybe it's a good thing Mr. Banks isn't here," said Charlie.

"What do you mean by that?" Orion asked.

"His dad's an asshole," explained Charlie.

"Charlie!" Gordon admonished.

"What? It's true. He tried fighting you by contacting Ducksworth to keep Adam on the Hawks, even though he should've been with the Ducks all season long! He rivals Reiley with his attitude about weakness."

"But Phillip loves his son; I doubt he'd blame Adam for what happened to him."

"Because he's so understanding that he sat in the Hawks' stands during that championship game when we were in Peewees, right? When Adam told his dad he couldn't play at the Goodwill Games because of his injured wrist, his dad chewed him out for it over the phone and told him to 'suck it up' and take his spot back! He spends more time at my place than he does at his own house because he's sick of hearing his dad either yell about how he doesn't tolerate losers in the family or brag about him and his achievements to any relative in earshot! When Adam said he'd be going to school with us, his dad nearly had a heart attack; he thought Adam meant public school! So, I doubt he'd understand about any of this! And what's worse is Adam feels he needs to kiss his dad's ass and do everything for him; he thinks it's his fault if his dad isn't pleased."

Gordon sighed; Charlie could tell that their former coach had given Adam's dad the benefit of the doubt for a while. But looking at Coach, Bombay's eyes looked troubled as the doors to the ER opened again, and an older, blonder boy walked into the room, stress evident on his face; he looked about twenty-two and like a younger clone of Adam's father. Charlie had never met Luke Banks, but he'd seen enough pictures to know he was Adam's older brother. Luke approached the front desk and looked about ready to kill somebody.

"I'm Lucas Banks; my younger brother Adam was brought in here?"

"The doctor's with him now; he'll be out momentarily. Where are your parents?"

"They sent me here . . . Well, my dad did; I don't know where the hell my mother is," Luke explained bitterly, his voice filled with disgust as he turned to the Ducks, his expression seeming to relax upon seeing Bombay there.

"Where's your dad?" Gordon asked, concerned.

"Ask him that," Luke said angrily, his eyes looking misty. "I guess he's too embarrassed his kid couldn't handle the pain like a man! But you'll never hear Adam say a bad thing about him because my dad's got him all twisted up, making him think he owes him, that Dad's doing all this for him to make him a winner, and that Adam should be thanking him!"

"Why am I not surprised?" Charlie asked sarcastically, wiping his eyes as he moved to stand near Linda, wrapping an arm around her. He watched as Luke sat down, his hands gripping at his hair. But before Luke could begin bawling, one of the doctors came through the doors.

"Family of Adam Banks?"

Luke shot out of his seat and walked up to the doctor. "I'm his older brother. My dad and mom aren't here right now, sir."

"How old are you?"

"Twenty-two going on twenty-three. I'll stay with him until he's out of the hospital, and I'll sign his release forms."

Coach and Charlie walked over to where Luke stood. "I'm his former Peewee coach," Bombay said. "Charlie's his roommate; he was one of the people who found Adam; they're closer than brothers, and Adam's like family to me. Can you tell us what happened?"

The doctor nodded. "Yes, I'm Doctor Clarke, the lead doctor working on him. Though I'd suggest we step into the hallway to discuss this privately."

The three of them nodded, following the doctor down the hallway toward Adam's room. When they stopped outside, Adam looked as though he blended in with the bed; he was so white, his skin translucent against the fluorescent lighting, revealing the bags under his eyes as he lay there, barely cognizant but calm due to the medication the paramedics injected him with earlier.

"I won't lie to you; while his condition isn't critical, he is dealing with very serious injuries. He has a concussion, presumably from being punched or kicked in the head, as well as a black eye and a broken nose. His right wrist was also broken, aggravating what we assume was a previous injury."

"I know about that. He was attacked and injured at the Jr. Goodwill Games last year when we played against Iceland," said Bombay.

"Yes; everybody across America saw how bad that looked. His wrist was broken so badly it'll require surgery, but we have him in a splint temporarily until we administer it. There was also tearing in his rectum, which could've only been caused by a blunt item, like a hockey stick."

"We found blood on one of the sticks in the locker room," Charlie whispered.

"I expect he'll make a full recovery; the police have taken pictures and collected evidence, though they want to make sure they get whoever did this to him for sexual assault, because that's what this was, though they aren't quite sure a jury would take it seriously since sexual assault is more commonly done to young women and girls; you seldom hear of this happening to boys, and there are unfortunately not many support groups for boys who go through this. Still, it wouldn't be right to allow whoever did this to him to walk free; there's been a lot of hazing incidents happening lately, and the judge and juvenile court would want to make an example," Doctor Clarke said.

Gordon nodded, wrapping his arm around Charlie again. "Can we go in and see him?"

The doctor nodded. "Only family can stay the night, unfortunately."

"I understand," Gordon said.

Charlie sighed with relief as the doctor opened the door to Adam's room, and Luke raced across the threshold of the door to Adam's bedside, cupping his cheek in his hand before pressing a kiss to his forehead.

"God, Adam," Luke whispered, his voice breaking.

"L – Lukey?"

"Shhh, I'm here."

"Where's Dad?"

"Don't worry about him, bud." Luke pushed his hand through Adam's hair. "Okay? You'll be fine."

Gordon sighed and walked over, placing a hand on Luke's shoulder before he pushed some of Adam's hair away from his forehead. "How're you feeling, son?"

A single tear went down Adam's face as he whispered, "Horrible." His entire face screwed up as he struggled to hold his tears back, but he failed as Bombay gently reached over, hesitating.

"Adam," Bombay whispered, "would it be all right if I hugged you?"

Adam nodded, allowing Gordon to pull him into a careful embrace, which Adam tightened, needing the feeling of someone there as he started sobbing, burying his face into Bombay's shoulder, as if he could run away from all of it by hiding, even if just for a moment.

"Shhh, Adam, you'll get through this." Bombay leaned his chin on the top of Adam's head, stroking his hair and rocking him slightly.

Adam shook his head, crying softly as Charlie squeezed his left hand.

"We're here for you, man," Charlie whispered. "Riley's not gonna get away with this. We'll make him pay for what he's done to you . . . for everything."

"Everyone's here, Adam," Bombay whispered. "Orion and the other Ducks all came. Do you want to see any of them?"

Adam shook his head, his cheeks flaring hotly, and Charlie could understand why. It wasn't that Adam didn't want to see them; he didn't want them seeing him like this.

"Adam, they're worried sick," Charlie whispered. "Connie and Jules are beside themselves, Linda's scared . . . Please, they wanna be there for you, too. None of them think any less of you. This happened to you. You didn't ask for it."

"But . . . But I had to have done something, right? Something wrong? Something that made them . . ."

"No, you didn't." Bombay pulled away and forced Adam to look at him. "Listen to me. Sometimes, there's no rhyme or reason for people doing what they do. What Riley did to you was wrong; you did nothing to deserve what happened to you. And the others know that. Orion knows that, too. And we will keep telling you that until you believe it yourself. Okay? We're all here for you. Even through all of this, ducks still fly together. That's never gonna change. You hear me?"

Adam nodded as Gordon gently pushed him back on the bed, tucking the covers over him as Charlie moved to sit on the edge of the bed, still holding Adam's hand. Luke breathed a shaky sigh before rising to his feet and leaving the room while Gordon went to talk to the team and Orion.

"Coach," Charlie said, "tell the Ducks there's a team meeting tomorrow, and I'll see them first thing in the morning before classes start."

Bombay nodded, quietly shutting the door behind him. Charlie turned his attention back to his friend, who was still crying. Charlie reached over and pulled him toward him.

"C'mere, Banksy," he whispered, wrapping his arms tightly around Adam, his hand stroking Adam's hair. "It'll be okay. If you want, you can come and stay with me and my mom. I'll sleep on the couch; you can have my bed."

Adam nodded, letting out a keening sob as they heard a knock on the door. Charlie glanced up and saw Orion standing there in the doorway, a faraway expression on his face as he walked toward the bed. For a moment, Charlie thought Orion's eyes were suspiciously misty as he sat on the edge of the bed and leaned a hand on Adam's shoulder.

"Banks," he said, "Banks, look at me."

Adam shook his head, still sobbing miserably as his face grew even redder with shame. Charlie realized why Adam was so embarrassed: he was worried Orion would think less of him, that Orion would react the way Phillip was and express disappointment in Adam not being strong enough to fight back, and that Orion would see the sexual assault as some sign of weakness. After all, Orion was a hard-ass; he'd been tough on all of them when they first came to Edan Hall. But Charlie didn't think Orion would be that heartless, not when he had a young daughter under his care; he had to feel some sympathy for what Adam was going through.

"Adam," Orion said, "listen to me; nobody thinks any less of you. I sure as hell don't. Look, I know when you kids first came to Edan Hall, I was tough on all of you. I probably did things that made you hate me sometimes. But you both understand now, don't you?"

Charlie turned to look at Orion, his eyes stinging tearfully again. "Yeah, yeah, we do."

Adam turned his gaze to Orion and nodded, trying to swallow his tears, though unsuccessful. Orion just rubbed his hand against Adam's shoulder.

"You're gonna get through this, Adam," Orion said. "You kids are tougher than I gave you credit for. For a bunch of ducks, you guys are mighty. Riley and Varsity messed with one of ours; we'll hit them where it hurts most: with the law. They're gonna learn that they're not above it just because of their parents' money, and they're gonna pay for what they've done to you, Adam."

Adam nodded, still sobbing silently even as Orion pulled both him and Charlie in for a group hug, which caused the both of them to start crying harder. Orion rubbed Adam's hair soothingly as Bombay re-entered, walking over to the bed.

"Adam, we'll let you get some sleep, all right? Are you in any pain at all?" Gordon asked.

Adam shook his head, though even Bombay could tell he was lying. It wasn't the physical pain that was bothering Adam. It was something else so profound that Charlie knew Adam wouldn't be able to sleep through the night without some stronger sedative to knock him out. Orion unwrapped his arms from around both boys as Charlie pulled away to push Adam back toward the mattress while Bombay pressed the call button near Adam's bed, letting the nurse know that Adam needed another sedative. The nurse arrived momentarily, shooing them all out as Charlie gave Adam's hand one more squeeze before they left.