TW: Medical emergency and Death, anxiety attacks, starts after the ***
Guys if you're enjoying this I'd love to hear from you.
This is the chapter that started the story for me.
Chapter Text
The morning of the concert passed in a blur. Chan recruited Cleo to help wake the rest of the guys and gather them for breakfast. Seungmin, I.N. and Felix awoke quickly, ready for the day, while Minho, Hyunjin, Han, and Changbin took some persuading to get out of bed. Cleo had to resort to bribery with various breakfast foods to get Han out from under his covers. Finally, the nine of them were assembled around the table, coffees and teas in hand. They chattered excitedly, discussing their expectations and assumptions for how the night would go. It was their first time performing in Seoul for over a year and they were all excited to see their Stays. Cleo basked in the happiness that surrounded her, occasionally interjecting when she had something to contribute but mostly enjoying the atmosphere.
As the boys got ready to leave the hotel Chan gave Cleo the run down for the day.
"Seon, the driver that's been with us the past few days, will be here at 4:30pm sharp to pick you up for the concert. We've got you a seat close to the stage, but if you need anything find one of the security guards and tell them you need to speak to Chul, he's our manager and will be able to help you."
Cleo embraced each of them in turn as they made their way to the venue before turning back to her room to get ready. Felix asked her to watch him while Changbin rolled his eyes from behind, "She'll be too busy watching me and these guns", he called while posing. Minho slapped him upside the head in response. Eventually they were all gone, and Cleo was left to shower and dress for the show.
She took her time getting ready. NOEASY playing loudly from her phone Cleo danced and sang along while she dried and straightened her hair. She lined her eyes with black and brushed pink onto her cheeks. Satisfied with her makeup she turned to the outfit laid out on the bed. Ripped tights, a black skirt, her Doc Martens, a black bralette, and a leather jacket. On the nightstand she found a Nachimbong with a note; I'll look for you – Chan. Underneath the light was a small pile pf signed photocards that Cleo swept into her bag with a smile.
At 4 pm Cleo made her way to the lobby. Aware that she was early she stopped at the hotel bar for a soju before heading to the pickup area in search of Seon.
The venue was completely transformed. Thousands of Stay's were lined up in anticipation of the show. Seon saw Cleo into the arena, helping her bypass the line and ensuring she found her seat. Cleo thanked him in Korean and could have sworn he smiled in response before leaving with a nod. As she waited for the concert to begin she did her best to make friends with the people around her. To her left were two sisters, the older of the two spoke decent English and was excited to practice what she knew with Cleo. On her right sat a mother with her pre-teen daughter. After over hearing the daughter chattering about I.N. Cleo dug through her purse and pulled out one of the signed photocards, slipping it to the mother with a wink and a finger pressed to her lips.
As the lights dimmed and the show began Cleo couldn't help but be mesmerized by the boys. They all seemed to genuinely enjoy performing. Playing to the crowd they seemed to know exactly how to capture the audiences attention. Each dance was executed flawlessly and with just the right amount of attitude to cause Cleo to raise an eyebrow. Between songs they took it in turn to express their gratitude to the crowd and perform different fan services. Posing or reading signs and reacting, they each played into the persona they'd built through the years. Even moments that Cleo could pick out as improvisation, having seen their rehearsal, flowed perfectly with the performances.
It was the middle of S-Class when it happened. At first Cleo thought the screams were in response to the music. I.N. had lifted his shirt slightly as if to show his abs…But the screams continued to rise until her eyes were torn from the stage to the growing circle of people to her left. Her attention focusing on the crowd Cleo recognized a word in Korean, "Doctor!". That was all it took for Cleo to push her way through.
In the middle of the circle a young woman was collapsed. Hoping she had merely succumbed to heat, and the excitement of the show Cleo bent forward and felt for a pulse. Nothing. She adjusted the position of her fingers. Still nothing. Falling back on her training Cleo laid the woman out flat on the floor and began CPR. In between compressions she looked up and make eye contact with the woman she'd been speaking in English with earlier, pointedly she commanded her to send her sister for help. After the sister took off at a run Cleo turned back to her and asked her to find out who knew this woman and whether or not she had any medical conditions. Without her noticing silence had fallen on the stage and as Cleo leaned down to administer another rescue breath she glanced upwards. Chan was staring at her, a stricken look on his face, before being ushered off stage by staff.
Too slowly paramedics made their way to Cleo and her patient. She'd performed nearly 15 minutes of compressions with no return of pulses. According to the friends of the woman she had a known heart problem, but they were unsure what exactly was wrong with her. Cleo did learn that her name was Naomi and she was 23 years old. As time passed Cleo felt less and less confident that there would be a positive outcome. She continued, doing her best considering the circumstances. 23 was far too young to pass, especially during what should have been a time filled with laughter and joy. The paramedics finally found their circle. Cleo relayed what she knew to the paramedics via her new friend as they took over CPR for her. Wiping her sweat from her brow Cleo followed as they loaded the woman onto a gurney and began their trek out of the arena.
As the paramedics rolled away, Cleo profusely thanked her seat neighbor who had stopped to help translate before sitting down on a bench, one leg hooked up to her chest and her chin resting on her knee. She was barely there for a minute before two security guards came up to her speaking in rough Korean too quickly for her to catch any words. One grabbed her by the elbow and pulled her along. Cleo went without protesting. How could she anyways when she barely knew the language, she had to hope wherever they were taking her someone would speak English. She assumes this had to do with the accident and maybe police wanted more information about what had happened, so she let her self be pulled, albeit roughly, along.
As they made their way to what she assumed was somewhere behind the stage she heard someone shout, "What are you doing?".
The sudden English made her turn her head. She locked eyes with Chan across the room. He had his arm around Han but was staring over at her. Unsure what to do in the situation, Cleo shrugged and apologized for interrupting, shouting back that she assumed there were more questions about what happened. But Chan had already started crossing the room towards her, leaving Minho to continue to comfort Han. After a few terse words to the guards in Korean they released Cleo and he put his arm around her, leading her back to the small group huddled on the floor.
Chan apologized to Cleo for how rough the security guards were. He had requested that they bring her back stage to him but should've realized he needed to send someone who spoke English. Cleo gave him a small smile to let him know it was okay, she "understood". As they got closer to Han, Cleo realized he wasn't just crying but was actually hyperventilating. Concerned, she asked Chan if Han had a history of anxiety. Chan confirmed he did but added it had been a while since his last panic attack.
Cleo edged her way around the group getting in front of Han before kneeling down on the floor in front of him. She took both of his hands in hers began to speak in a soft voice, instructing him to breathe in for 4 seconds, hold it for 4 more seconds before slowly breathing out. After a few rounds of breathing, Han seemed more coherent of his surroundings, but he was still obviously on the verge of panic, so Cleo switched her tactics asking if he had ever heard of mindfulness thinking. He shook his head which she took as a reassuring sign that he was listening and began walking him through the exercises that she used whenever she was overwhelmed. instructing him to "Look around and find three things that were red and repeat them to himself", and once he had found three things that were red to look for "three things that were soft", followed by "three things that were blue", and to continue looking for three items that he could match into groups until his heart rate calmed down
As Chan watched Cleo walk his brother through a panic attack, all he could think was how lucky they were to have found her. Once Han seemed more in control she squeezed his hands and stepped back, putting her hand on Minho's shoulder and guiding him towards Chan. Minho nodded his thanks before taking her place in front of Chan. Cleo turned around but before she could make her way back to Chan she noticed Felix and I.N. crying with their heads together. She spotted a box of tissues and grabbed it before walking to them. Handing I. N. the box, Cleo bent down to say something in Felix's ear. Felix threw his arms around her, pulling her down to him before collapsing completely into her. She held him, one hand in his hair and one around his back, rocking slowly and whispering occasionally in his ear.
Chan watched and realizing that his team was in good hands he left to go find their manager, Chul, who would decide how they'd proceed for the evening. By the time he found him the decision had been made to cancel the rest of the show. Word had come from the police that resuscitation efforts had ceased upon arrival to the hospital, the woman had died.
An announcement was made, and the stadium was cleared. The kids stayed together in the green room waiting for everyone to leave before silently making their way back to the black vans that would take them to the hotel.
Cleo, unsure what to do, tried to separate on their way out muttering about ordering an Uber. Chan simply grabbed her arm and pulled her into the same car that he was getting into. Which was how she found herself in the backseat between Chan and Changbin on the silent drive back to the hotel.
Without a discussion the group trooped into Chan and Felix's room. Seungmin and Hyunjin collapsed onto the couch together with I.N. taking a seat on the floor, leaning back against their legs. Changbin and Minho claimed a chair each while Chan and Felix sat against the headboard. Cleo stood awkwardly at the door, unsure where she should sit. Felix made the decision for her, gesturing for her to sit between him and Chan. She clambered awkwardly over Felix's legs to settle herself into the bed. Finally, Han laid across the end of the bed at their feet and they were all accounted for.
The silence stretched longer until Changbin broke the spell, "So uh, should we watch a movie?"
A chorus of agreement echoed around the room and they began the lengthy process of choosing which movie to watch. Minho and Han wanted horror, Hyunjin suggested Sleepless in Seattle, and Felix voted for one of the Harry Potter movies. After bickering for 15 minutes they settled on Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, after all no one could deny Felix.
As the movie came to an end, Minho and Changbin stood up and stretched. Han was still curled up at the bottom of Chan's bed fast asleep. Minho scooped him up and began to carry them out the door. Han instinctively wrapped his arms around Minho's neck as if this were the nightly routine. Changbin shook Hyunjins's shoulder and tossed a pillow at Seungmin waking them both. I.N was curled up on the floor and stood as the four of them trooped out in a row. This left Felix Chan and Cleo in the queen size bed. Cleo had fallen asleep at some point in the middle of the movie with her right arm crawled up underneath her head and her left resting softly on Chan's chest. Felix was curled up against her back, his face pressed in between her shoulder blades. Chan couldn't help his smile as he looked over at them shutting the light off.
Sometime later in the night Cleo heard what sounded like a soft whimpering. She woke up to find the sounds coming from the small form curled up behind her. As carefully as she could, she turned over to face Felix. Taking her right hand, she smoothed his blonde hair back while softly muttering in his ear that he was safe and not alone. After a few minutes Felix's body relaxed again. He swung his left arm over her hips and nestled in closer. Cleo wasn't entirely comfortable anymore. In this new awkward position her arm started to fall asleep, but she couldn't bear to wake him up. She continued smoothing the hair behind his ear and counting the freckles across his nose. She was trying to decide if she'd already counted the one on his left eye lid when she became aware that Chan's breathing was no longer quite so regular. He turned over slightly, slipping his right arm over her waist, below Felix's arm and on the hem of her shirt that had ridden up.
"Is everything okay?", he whispered over her ear.
"I'm okay, I think Felix was having a nightmare, but he seems to have fallen back asleep. I think today was really rough for him." Chan nodded in agreement, the tip of his nose bumped into the back of her neck as he did so. "I think it was rough for all of us."
Cleo silently agreed. Being thrust into an emergency situation was always traumatic and you never knew how you would react until you were in it. It made sense that Chan worried about the other boys after what they had witnessed, she was worried about them too, but Cleo wasn't sure Chan was taking care of himself either. As quietly she could she asked back, "How are you feeling?".
She could feel his breath against the nape of her neck and it took him a few moments to answer. "Is it wrong that after everything we went through today, this moment is the happiest I can remember being in a very long time?"
Cleo smiled softly into Felix's hair before shifting slowly to face Chan. She hadn't realized how close he was to her but with three of them in a bed with only two pillows they were sharing one. As she turned slightly their noses nearly met. "No", she said softly "that doesn't make you a bad person. I'm happy I'm here and I want to help in any way that I can.".
Chan's hand flexed against her stomach as he pulled her slightly closer. "Just your presence has made this so much easier for everyone."
They looked at each other for a little longer in silence until Chan nudged her with his forehead and said, "we should probably get some sleep". Agreeing, Cleo turned back towards Felix, pulling him into her more snugly. "I'll see you in the morning."
Tangled together the three of them fell asleep.
Just before Cleo succumbed to unconsciousness she could've sworn she felt the ghost of a kiss on the back of her neck.
