TW: conversations surrounding grief and loss
Chapter Text
The next morning, the three of them were awoken by the door being thrown open and Seungmin and Han bursting into the room and jumping onto the bed. They were followed by a bemused looking Changbin and an exhausted Minho. Cleo sat bolt up in bed, not expecting the sudden noise and intrusion in the previously peaceful room. Chan laughed, used to this kind a wakeup call. Felix looked around confused and obviously still half asleep. A few minutes later when Felix was more awake Hyunjin and I.N came in. Hyunjin carrying eight coffees precariously balanced while I.N. held onto one. "Thanks for the help guys.", he snapped sarcastically, sending a smile towards Cleo. "We didn't know how you like your coffee, so we guessed. I hope an iced Americano is okay?".
Cleo had to laugh. It was nowhere near how she normally took her coffee, preferring excessive amounts of oat milk and syrup. But she nodded and took the coffee he gave her, thankful for the caffeine.
After the coffees were all handed out Chan took over laying out the plan for the day. With the previous night's accident no one was really sure how they were going to proceed with tonight's concert or even if they should. They were expecting a call from the manager any minute to let them know what the company had decided. The boys chatted amongst themselves discussing the pros and cons of continuing with the show while Cleo leaned against the headboard, head tipped back, trying to enjoy her coffee and the sounds of the chattering around her. They had slipped back into speaking mostly in Korean and she felt at peace after the anxiety and adrenaline of the night before.
Chan called their attention and decided that they would take a vote in case the manager asked for their opinion regarding continuing with the show. They went around, one by one, indicating if they thought they should perform that night. Hyunjin and Felix were the only two that were unable to decide. Han had concerns about feeling anxious on stage. I.N. said he would do whatever everyone else decided. While the remaining four thought that they should go forward with the show if possible.
After each member had said their piece, Hyunjin looked at Cleo and asked what she thought. Surprised Cleo took a sip of her coffee before saying, "it's not for me to decide, it's for you and your company."
Changbin looked over at her from across the room and surprised her further by saying, "I'd really like to hear your opinion though about what you think we should do. Unfortunately, you're much more used to situations like these than we are."
Cleo considered it, looking around at the circle they had made. Heads were nodding in agreement and everyone's eyes were focused on her. After taking her time she spoke carefully, "I can understand the hesitation, it'll be emotional no matter what you do. But personally, I think if there's time you should reach out to the family and see how they feel about continuing with the show. If they give you the greenlight it would be nice to dedicate the performance to the lost Stay".
While she'd been talking most of the members had looked down, somber in their pajamas. Chan however kept his eyes trained on her, obviously considering her words. She offered him a small smile and said, "but your company probably has a much better idea of how to handle the situation than I do".
The words were barely out of her mouth when Chan's phone started ringing. He glanced at the caller ID and the look on his face made it obvious who was calling. He nodded to them before stepping into the hallway. The remaining eight sat in silence waiting for Chan to return. Cleo looked around, realizing she needed to get back to her room and get ready for the day. Everyone around her looked entirely too put together compared to her considering they were all still in pajamas. She was also certain her hair was a rats nest and what remained of her makeup had smudged in the night. Not to mention she really needed to brush her teeth. Muttering a quiet "I should be going", she began to roll off the bed, intending to grab her room key and head down the hall.
Before she could make it two steps Chan came back in, shutting the door softly behind him. Since no one had started talking when he left there was no reason for him to call them to order. They all stared at him, trying to read the expression on his face. He looked at them each in turn before his eyes stopped on Cleo. She was frozen in action, putting her slippers on and reaching for her phone. She straightened up as gracefully as she could and looked back at him. As the silence stretched Chan finally said, "They're getting us the contact information for the Stay's family, we're going to have a phone call with them to offer our condolences and we will offer pay for the funeral costs. I'm also going to ask for their opinion on whether or not we should continue with the concert tonight".
Cleo couldn't help the surprise from showing on her face, I.N. piped up from across the room asking if that was the managers idea but Chan shook his head. "No, he wanted to just continue with the show and not acknowledge it publicly. He's afraid the public will blame Stray Kids. I told him we won't perform without talking to the family first". Chan clapped a hand to Cleo's shoulder before turning back to the members of the group, "that means we only have about an hour to an hour before this phone call. I think we all need to get dressed and consider what we want to say". Synchronized as one, the eight of them nodded, beginning to get up from their places around the room to head back to their own rooms. "Meet back here in 45 minutes", Cham called after them they filed out. Han stopped to brush his hand against Cleo's arm, offering her a smile as he walked out.
After the door shut behind them Cleo remembered she was in the middle of leaving as well and continued to grab her phone and start walking towards the door before Chan grabbed her hand and pulled her back into him. Surprised, Cleo let out a soft "oof", as he squeezed her tighter than she was expecting. "I was just headed to go shower and change. Will you let me know how the phone call goes after?"
Chan pulled back, keeping his hands on her shoulders looking down at her in surprise, "When I told them to be back in 45 minutes I meant you as well, I think they're going to need you here".
Felix nodded his agreement over his left shoulder, adding "I know I'll need you".
It was impossible to deny Felix anything, so Cleo nodded and promised to be right back. As she stepped into the hallway she shut the door softly behind her back and stood there, just for a breath or two before turning to her right and walking to the end of the hall to her room.
Back in her own room, Cleo took one look at the mirror and realized she had been right. She looked like an absolute mess. Securing her hair into a knot on the top of her head she turned the shower on as hot as it would go. The room began to steam up, and she lost sight of herself in the mirror. Stepping under the scalding stream she washed away the sweat from last night, trying to rid herself with the anxieties that still plagued her. She couldn't understand why she was here, let alone why the boys seemed to expect so much out of her. She'd known them for less than a week at this point, and yet they behaved as if she were a natural addition to their team. Like she was someone had been there for the past five years. Too soon she turned off the shower and stepped onto the cool tile. Using a hand towel, she wiped away part of the mirror, so she could see herself again. The heat from the water made it look as if she had a sunburn, but at least she felt clean again.
She shook her hair out and went about getting ready for the day. Rubbing a cotton pad under her eyes to remove the last of her mascara before running through an abbreviated version of her skin care. Not bothering with much more than a swipe of mascara and tinted Chapstick. She dressed quickly, putting a red oversized cardigan on over a crop top and a pair of leggings. At the last second she threw on pink fuzzy socks before padding her way down the hall back to Chan and Felix's room. She knocked softly before realizing the door was slightly open. She pushed through and saw Chan sitting alone on the bed.
Checking her watch, she realized it had only been about 30 minutes since she left. Embarrassed by how quickly she had returned she considered leaving before he could see her, but he was already smiling and waving at her to come into the room and join him. He patted the bed next to him, so she made her way over and sat down. He bumped his shoulder against hers and asked, "so how do you really take your coffee?" Cleo tried not to laugh as she asked him what he meant, saying that the coffee they got her was perfectly fine. Chan shook his head at her and pointed, she followed his finger to realize she had left her completely full coffee on the nightstand. "You barely drink any of it, you might as well tell me how you take your coffee".
Cleo tried to cover her smile before making him swear not to tease her for her order. Chan put his hand over his heart, suddenly very serious, and responded with a sincere "never!".
So, Cleo explained her order as cold brew with oat milk and four pumps of vanilla syrup, "and yes I know that's more sugar than coffee".
Chan nodded solemnly agreeing, "coffee flavored oat milk". Cleo pushed against his shoulder a little harder than she meant to causing him to slip so one leg fell off the bed. He responded by throwing his arm around her neck and pulling her down until her head was in his lap. They were too busy laughing and wrestling to realize Felix had exited the bathroom and was watching them with a soft smile. Cleo extricated herself from Chan before reaching out her hands to Felix. He took them and let himself be pulled onto the bed where she quickly enveloped him in a hug, pressing her cheek to the top of his blonde head, hair still wet from the shower. "How are you feeling?", she murmured softly into his hair.
"Better", he responded looking up at her with a smile, "glad you're back so quickly". Cleo glanced over to Chan who was back on this phone, so Cleo continued her conversation with Felix.
"Where is everyone?"
Felix rolled his eyes while responding "they'll get here when they get here. Chan said 45 minutes, but they tend to believe that to be more of a suggestion".
Chan piped up behind Cleo, "I take 15 minutes off whatever time I actually want them here to make sure no one is late".
Resolved to wait, the three of them leaned back against the headboard, Chan on his phone and Felix flipping through the TV channels.
The members staggered their arrival. Hyunjin and I.N. came first together. Hyunjin with his arm around I.N. cracking jokes, trying to make him laugh. Cleo didn't miss how Felix lit up at Hyunjin's entrance. I.N. was laughing at the Hyunjin's attempt at humor but still looked anxious, like his heart wasn't in it. Next came Minho and Han. They walked in talking quietly and Cleo could have sworn they were holding hands as they entered but once they made it inside of the room, there didn't seem to be any contact between the two of them. Seungmin followed soon after, giving a quick bow and smile to Cleo before he took his spot. Finally, Changbin made his way in carrying a light-colored iced coffee that he quickly extended to Cleo with a wink. Confused, Cleo took the coffee before realizing Chan must've texted him to get her order since she didn't finish her first coffee. Promising to pay them back she sucked down a fourth of it, while Changbin shook his head at her and took his seat
Chan called them to order simply by clearing his throat. "I think you all know why we're here. Last night we lost a member of the Stay family. We've been given the opportunity to speak with their family and offer our condolences. If you can't keep composure please excuse yourself- this is not about our grief, but theirs."
As Chan made his announcement their manager slipped into the room quietly, taking up residence behind Chan.
After everyone voiced their agreement Chan took a deep breath before dialing the phone number Chul provided him with.
A woman picked up after 3 rings. Her voice coming through the line choked and hoarse.
Chan: "Mrs. Lee? My name is Chan. I'm the leader of Stray Kids. I'm here with the rest of the group. We understand your daughter passed away at our show last night and we wanted to offer our sincerest condolences."
Mrs. Lee: "It's just... I can't even process this. She was so young, so full of life. We never expected something like this to happen, even with her heart disease."
Chan: "We can't express how sorry we are. Losing a loved one is an unimaginable pain, and we want you to know that our thoughts and prayers are with you."
Mrs. Lee: "Thank you for your condolences. It's just so hard to believe she's gone. Soo was so passionate about your music. She loved Stray Kids."
Changbin: "We can't begin to understand the depth of your grief. If there's anything we can do to support you during this time, please don't hesitate to let us know."
Mrs. Lee: "I appreciate that. We're just trying to come to terms with everything. Soo's friends have been here, and we're trying to support each other."
Chan: "We would like to offer to pay for any costs associated with the memorial, if you would accept."
Mrs. Lee "Thank you. We'll think about it and let you know. Right now, it's just so hard to believe she's gone."
I.N.: "Take all the time you need, Mrs. Lee. We'll be here for you, and please know that our hearts ache alongside yours. If there's anything we can do, even if it's just providing some comfort through our music, we're here."
Mrs. Lee: "I appreciate that. Thank you for calling and for your kind words."
Chan hesitated. Taking Cleo's hand in his Chan took a fortifying breath before continuing,
"Mrs. Lee, we know it's an imposition to ask but we wanted your opinion on if we should continue with our show tonight. It's so close to Soo's passing we don't want to proceed if it will cause you or your family additional distress."
"Thank you for asking. You're such respectful young men. Soo would want you to continue to perform. She loved everything your group stood for. I ask that you perform tonight in her memory."
They all solemnly agreed, and the phone call was ended.
As the group prepared to leave the hotel room for the vans that would take them to the concert venue Chul shot Cleo a dirty look before speaking, "You know you can't be seen with her right? The last thing you need after last night is a dating scandal, regardless if anyone would believe you'd actually date someone like her.".
He directed his statement to Chan but didn't bother to lower the volume of his voice meaning the entire room heard. Most of the guys froze, staring between Chan and the manager. Changbin came up to stand behind Cleo while I.N. rolled his eyes from across the room. Chan leveled his gaze at his manager before replying, "We've got this handled, thank you."
At the obvious dismissal the manager clicked his heels together and walked out. Cleo looked to Chan and said "It's fine. I can just meet you guys after the concert. I'll take an Uber over before the show starts and watch from the stands like I did last night".
"No."
Cleo was surprised to hear the voice from across the room had come from Minho. She hadn't had many conversations with him in the past few days, making his support even more surprising. Chan added, "You're coming with us. We will take care of it, I have an idea." As though the idea she wouldn't be joining them hadn't even crossed his mind. With that, he turned around and started rummaging in his closet before pulling out a pair of baggy black jeans and an oversized shirt. He extended these to Cleo, who took them- obviously confused. Changbin caught on with a laugh and removed the bucket hat he was wearing, handing it to her. "Don't you get it? It's your disguise!"
What they were proposing finally dawned on Cleo. They were dressing her up as a male staff member, so she could be seen with them without arousing suspicion or prompting any new dating rumors. "You're joking," she said to the room at large "this feels extreme. Is it really necessary? I do not mind being in the crowd!"
But apparently the boys did mind, and they left her to change. A few minutes later Chan knocked on the door to see if everything fit and was greeted by Cleo dwarfed by his clothing. She was tucking her hair into Changbin's bucket hat when he handed her his sunglasses and a facemask. With her disguise complete the group was ready to go.
The trip to the venue was short and uneventful. Cleo sat between Chan and Changbin with Han and Minho behind her. They pulled up to the entrance which was really just a small alley, ending in some stairs and a door into the building. On either side a crowd had gathered and was being held back by metal fencing. Cleo could feel her heart rate begin to race. She just now realized she would have to walk past the screaming fans who are there to see Stray Kids. She hadn't expected a crowd would be waiting, the show didn't start for hours. Not to mention mixed in with the fans were journalists, or more likely paparazzi, for celebrity news websites. She felt a hand grip her knee and was grateful to see it was Changbin offering her a last bit of moral support before the door to the van slid open, and they began to file out.
She was greeted with a torrent of screams and flashing lights. Chan had told her to just stick close behind him and walk straight-ahead, that once they were inside she could remove the majority of her disguise and be herself. They just had to get away from the cameras first. Cleo put her head down, grateful that most of her face was hidden and began to walk, keeping her eyes on the heels of Chan's shoes. She had almost made it. She was about halfway up the set of steps leading to the door, when she heard a loud popping noise followed by gasps behind her.
Turning back, Cleo noticed Han had become separated from the rest of the group. He had lingered at the barrier to do some fan service and sign photo cards. It appeared that the overzealous fans had pressed too hard against the metal barrier and toppled the one next to him. The crowd was rushing through, threatening to surround Han and security was busy gathering up the other members and pushing them through the door.
Without thinking, Cleo spun around and ran to Han behind her. She could hear Chan struggling with his security guard and yelling after her to come back. But Hans knees had hit the ground and she was worried he would be trampled. She continued her run only stopping when she was close enough to grab onto his elbows and pull him up. As she bent over to help him, a fan grabbed a hold of her hat and ripped it off, causing her hair that had been stuffed underneath to cascade down, visible to everyone around them. Cleo didn't even notice. Her focus was on Han as they began their race to the door.
