After the bonfire party at Slifer (at which many people truly learned the meaning of the words 'black out drunk'), the days seemed to pass by quickly. James remained the Slifer dorm's supreme overlord (much to the fear of most of the school and the exasperation of professor Banner), and things were pretty normal for a while. Time flew, until eventually, the rank-up exams were just over the horizon. No one beyond her boyfriends and occasionally Alexis and Bastion had been brave enough to challenge James to a duel, so she had taken to using the time she could have spent dueling to work on her strategies and decks.
Since her arrival in the world of GX, James had been relying on her foreknowledge and other people's lack of cohesive strategies to win her duels, but she knew that wouldn't work forever. Not everyone would be as easy to beat as Crowler, and she couldn't leave any of her potential future shadow duels up to chance. So James started putting her experience in Tag Force and Duel Links to good use. She started practicing more with her FTK decks, and took the time to alter most of her decks to fit GX's summoning standards. This was harder than James expected it to be, but luckily, she had an unexpected source of help; the reject well.
James couldn't believe she had forgotten about it. When she heard some of her Slifer underlings talking about it at lunch, she had nearly bolted out of her seat so that she could go check it out. But since she didn't want to bring Zane or Chazz just yet, James waited patiently until school was over to go check it out. After about half an hour of walking in the woods, James grinned when she came across an old stone well.
"Here we are. Free cards, come to mama… ", James trailed off as she walked closer to the well. Her trek was stopped, however, by a slightly transparent Chaos Necromancer, who appeared ominously in her path.
"Who are you and why have you come here?", Chaos Necromancer asked. James straightened her back and made a serious face.
"My name is James McKenna. I've come here in search of the reject well.", James said truthfully. Chaos Necromancer moved faster than she could see and stuck his face dangerously close to her own.
"Oh? Have you come here to leave your 'weak cards' to rot and be forgotten then, just like all of the other duelists that have come here in the past?", Chaos Necromancer asked ominously. James kept calm and shook her head.
"No. Quite the opposite, actually. I've come here to take all the cards in the well and give them a new home. Well, the ones that are willing to leave, at least.", James revealed. Chaos Necromancer's eyes widened in shock, but then they narrowed with suspicion.
"What kind of fool do you take me for?! You're lying so that I'll let you past me, well it won't work, you filthy- !", Chaos Necromancer started to say, only to be cut off by the appearance of a large, serpentine shadow with glowing red eyes manifesting behind James who was still as calm as ever despite sensing what was behind her. The duel spirit's eyes widened in shock and reverence.
"L-Lord Slifer! I had no idea you had attached yourself to this girl! Had I known, I- !", Chaos Necromancer started to say, but he was interrupted by ominous growling from Slifer. Much to James's surprise, Chaos Necromancer seemed capable of understanding Slifer (which, how?! James just thought he had been making animal noises! He was shown to be capable of human speech in the anime, so was that non-canon now? Had be actually been trying to talk to her this whole time? Thinking about it made James's head hurt). Chaos Necromancer immediately thought up a panicked rebuttal when the God Card spirit was done growling.
"Yes, I agree there were signs, but I couldn't be certain- !", Chaos Necromancer started to say in defense of himself, but he was cut off by more growling from Slifer. Then Chaos Necromancer started sputtering again.
"Of course! Your wielder can access the well whenever she pleases! Just please don't eat me… ", Chaos Necromancer trailed off, and James grinned up at him. Thank Slifer for Slifer.
"Thank you. Your gatekeeping to protect your friends was admirable, but as an anime protagonist, I'm cannotically immune to gatekeeping.", James said. Chaos Necromancer tilted his head at her in confusion.
"Huh?", he questioned. But James just walked past him, jumped down into the fifteen-foot deep well like it was nothing, and landed on her feet without so much as a grunt of pain. The perks of never skipping leg day. James looked around in the underground chamber she had arrived in, and wasn't surprised to find many duel spirits staring at her warily. Hoping to ease their worries, she pointed to herself with both of her thumbs and grinned.
"Guess who has two thumbs and is looking to build some decks?!"
—-
After a pleasant afternoon spent in the company of very eager duel spirits, James had managed to get several new cards to put in her decks, including Chaos Necromancer, who was much nicer after seeing she was serious about giving abandoned cards new homes. Among her new cards were some cute low-level monsters like Outstanding Dog Marron and Sangan, as well as surprisingly rare monsters. James had been shocked to find a fucking Relinquished in the reject well. How had its owner not known it was extremely rare?! James had immediately added it to one of her decks after Relinquished's spirit agreed to leave with her. Another card James had been surprised to find was Light and Darkness Dragon, which was Chazz's ace from the Manga. The dragon didn't say anything to James, but when she started talking about Chazz and saying he would be a good fit for him, Light and Darkness Dragon nodded and vanished into his card. He was agreeing to leave with her and be a part of Chazz's deck.
James had been taken aback when she didn't find any Ojama cards in the well. They had been Chazz's anime aces, and while James acknowledged that they were very useful cards, she hadn't liked their designs all that much and had never gotten any Ojama cards for herself. And since there were no Ojamas in the well, that meant Chazz probably wasn't ever going to get them or his Armored Dragon cards.
That had made James a bit worried. She had always known that by getting close to Chazz and helping him become a better person earlier than he did in the anime, that she was changing the future. James gave Chazz a real reason to stay at Duel Academy, as did his new friends. If Chazz stayed at Duel Academy, then he would never go to North Academy. If he never went to North Academy, then he would never get his most important cards or take part in the school duel, something that James knew she was going to have to figure out how to counteract.
The card problem was fairly easy to fix; James had copies of the Armored Dragon cards that she intended to give to Chazz soon, and she had a fair amount of cards from the reject well other than Light and Darkness Dragon who were more than willing to join Chazz's deck. She didn't have access to the Ojamas, sure, but she figured Light and Darkness Dragon made up for that.
The school duel problem was another issue entirely, albeit a much less important one. James didn't even know if she would be the Duel Academy representative, but knowing her luck she probably would be. And if she was, she would probably end up dueling that Soviet dude who Chazz beat easily during his redemption arc. James groaned as she made her way out of the forest. There were so many factors to consider, and she didn't even have to deal with the big bads yet.
Oh God, the big bads. James had put off thinking about them for a while, because most of them were literal years away and weak as shit, but they were still problems she was going to have to deal with. The Shadow Riders, Kagemaru, the Society of Light, Nightshroud, Yubel, all of them were just itching to put her through the ringer, and James was having none of it. She came to Duel Academy to have fun and make out with hot people, thank you very much. She didn't have time to get traumatized by ancient evils. She needed to find a way to nip all her problems in the bud, or at the very least prepare for the up coming threats so that as little damage was done as possible.
'I need allies.', James thought as she re-entered the academy grounds, a backpack full of cards heavy on her back. She had taken all the cards from the reject well, but given how many cards she already had, she knew she couldn't put most of the ones in her bag to use, not the way duelists at the academy constantly used their cards. She wanted the cards she had saved to feel cherished, not like they were going from one being forgotten by one person to being forgotten by another. James thought about what she could do with her sudden influx of extra cards, and then an idea hit her as she looked out at the sea of students chilling out in the school yard. She smirked.
'And I think I know just how to get them… '
—-
James ran around the Duel Academy main building, trying to find the people on her list of 'potential allies', aka the filler episode characters. She had a plan to help her get on good terms with them; she was going to give them cards from the reject well. It was a crazy plan, but it was just crazy enough to work. James would give the filler characters the cards she couldn't use in any of her decks or wouldn't use as often as the spirits would like, giving the cards new, caring owners, and the filler characters would gain useful new cards, as well as a reason to help James should she ever ask for their assistance. It was a win-win, kill-two-birds-with-one-stone scenario.
After a few minutes of running around, James spotted her first filler character in the halls; Brier, who unsurprisingly, was tailed by Beauregard. James waved to them furiously to get their attention.
"Hey! It's Brier and Beauregard, right?", James yelled. The pair of Ra yellow's turned around and looked at James in confusion, wondering what an Obelisk blue, let alone one of the most infamous one's in the school, wanted with them. Brier glared at James apprehensively.
"You? What do you want?", Brier asked harshly. James put her hands up in surrender and gave the boy an easy-going smile.
"Easy there, I come in peace. I'm here to ask if you guys would be interested in getting some free cards?", James asked. She didn't elaborate on what type of cards she was giving away, because given the fact that everything on this goddamn planet seemed to be decided by the same children's card game, she knew they would assume she meant Duel Monsters cards. Which she did. And they did.
"Free cards? Why in the hell would an Obelisk give a Ra free cards? I thought we were all 'Ra rejects' to you people.", Brier asked suspiciously, but James, due to knowing the reason behind his skepticism and actually liking him as a character, didn't take offense to any of his words and kept her smile on her face.
"Because believe it or not, not all Obelisks are rich assholes. Some of us know how to act right and respect the other dorms. I know you two have had to take a lot of shit from the other Obelisk students, but I can assure you I'm nothing like them. If anything, I'm their exact inverse. Call me the bully who beats up the other bullies, if you will.", James said, smirking as she recalled how she beat the crap out of that asshole Obelisk in the middle of Crowler's class for cat-calling her. Brier and Beauregard looked at each other and seemed to consider her offer.
" … What kind of cards are we talking here?", Brier asked. James grinned.
"Whatever kind you want. I've got orcs and ogres and goblins, any kind of card for either of your decks.", James said as she pulled out all the cards she thought suited the future duel giant pair from her pocket. Brier took the cards from her hand, and his eyes widened when he saw how many useful cards James was offering him. Even so, he still scowled at the girl suspiciously.
"What's the catch?", the short boy asked. James gave him a small smile.
"The catch is you have to promise me you'll use every card I give you in your deck and that you'll treat them with respect. Oh, and you and Beauregard have to be my friends!", James stipulated. Brier and Beauregard's eyes widened.
"That's all you want?", Brier asked in shock. James nodded.
"Yep! Think you can do that?", she asked. Brier thought about her offer for a moment, and seeing no way it could hurt him, looked to Beauregard for his opinion. With an exchange of nods, the pair returned their attention to James.
"Yeah, I think we can.", Brier said with much less hostility than he had spoken with thus far. James looked ecstatic.
"Great! And now that we're friends, it's my duty to help you! Just come find me if any Obelisks give you a hard time, and I'll bust their knee caps!", James said as she gently punched her palm with a dark smile. The Ra pair looked at her in shock.
"You'd really fight your own dormmates for us?", Brier asked. James raised an eyebrow at him.
"Did you forget the part where I called most of them rich assholes? I hold no love for eighty percent of my dorm, Brier. If I hear any snide comments from them about you or Beauregard, you can count on me to metal chair their asses.", James promised, and she meant every word. In her weeks at Duel Academy, she had found that most Obelisks were the world's biggest douches. She swore, if people didn't start challenging her to duels soon, she was going to pull a duel giant and just start challenging random Obelisks to duels so she could destroy their inflated egos. Brier and Beauregard looked like they couldn't believe their luck in finding such a wonderful new friend. After a few moments, Brier finally smiled.
"Thank you. You have no idea how much it means for someone to be willing to do that for us, especially an Obelisk. It proves your point about not every blue student being a jerk.", he said sincerely, and Beauregard nodded as well with a smile. James grinned at them.
"No worries. Oh, and before I go; Brier, if anyone makes fun of your height, just remember Yugi Moto is just as short as you are. So next time an Obelisk asshole insults you for being short, just tell them that if they make fun of short people, they're making fun of the King of Games by extension.", James said, and with that little nugget of wisdom, she ran off to find other filler character's to induct into her personal army-she meant, make friends with.
—-
James's next stop was a tennis court, where one Harrington Rosewood was practicing with his team. James wasn't all that fond of Rosewood as a character; he had been chauvinistic to Alexis in canon and a total creep, but she wanted to meet him at least once before making any finite judgements about his character. James leaned over the railing blocking the bleachers from the rest of the court and called out to the Obelisk third year.
"Hey! Hey Rosewood!", James screeched above the noisy games of single tennis being played. Rosewood perked up at the sound of his last name being called and looked towards James. When he saw who was calling out to him, Rosewood paled and pointed to himself questioningly. What did the most feared person in Obelisk blue want with him.
"Me?", the tennis player asked. James scowled at the boy's useless question.
"Yes you, bootyshorts! Get over here!", James demanded, and Rosewood, being rather fond of staying alive, did as he was told, though he did grumble under his breath the whole time.
"They're not bootyshorts… ", Rosewood complained quietly enough that he thought James wouldn't hear him, but unfortunately for him she did. James nailed him with a piercing glare.
"What was that, anime mullet?", James asked dangerously, firing yet another insult at the boy. Rosewood stiffened and his face began to look frightened.
"N-nothing.", he stammered. James then abruptly gave him a sunny grin.
"Chill out, I'm just messing with you! Anyways, I'm here to ask if you want any free cards. I have some tennis cards that would go well with your deck.", James said, cutting right to the chase. Rosewood's eyes immediately widened at both the girl's sudden friendliness and the mention of free cards, and a big smile appeared on his face.
"Hell yeah I would! Hand them over!", he said excitedly, not questioning an offer of free cards. James pulled them out of her pocket, but didn't hold them out just yet. She shot Rosewood a stern look.
"Sure thing. You can have them, so long as you promise to use every card I give you in your deck and treat them with respect. Because let me tell you Rosewood, you don't wanna know what happens to people who don't respect their cards… ", James trailed off ominously to mess with the guy. Rosewood suddenly looked very nervous, until her stern expression faded and was replaced with a sunny grin again.
"But yeah, do that and they're all yours.", James told him, before handing him the cards. Rosewood looked through them with a smile on his face.
"Thank you, I won't forget this!", he said genuinely, and James gave him a soft smile.
"Good, because this means we're friends now. And friends help each other.", James said ominously, her smile going from soft to dark very quickly. Rosewood felt nervous again.
"Yes, I know what friends do.", Rosewood said steadily, and just like that, James was back to smiling brightly again. Rosewood was getting emotional whiplash from all the sudden changes in mood.
"Great! And since we're friends, I'm gonna make you an amazing offer; how would you like to watch an anime entirely about tennis?", James asked. Rosewood's eyes suddenly had sparkles in them.
"Would I ever!", he replied ecstatically. James nodded at his words. What she was about to do was a bit underhanded, but then again, so were most of the things she did.
"Fantastic. There's this anime called 'Prince of Tennis' that I'm sure you would love. I have every episode downloaded on my phone, and I can send them to you… If you do me a favor.", James offered slyly. Rosewood raised a curious eyebrow.
"What kind of favor?", he questioned. James grinned mischievously.
"I want a car.", she said bluntly. Rosewood blinked at her in confusion.
"A car? Why would you need a car? We're on an island with barely any roads. Also, sorry, but I can't get you one. My dad won't buy me another car after I wrecked my last one over spring break.", Rosewood answered. It was James's turn to blink in confusion.
"But doesn't your family own a motor company?", she asked. Rosewood stared at her in bewilderment.
"No, we own a chain of sporting goods stores.", the third year corrected, and James's eyes widened as she remembered that Rosewood's family only owned a motor company in the Japanese version of the anime. In the English version, they owned sporting goods stores. James wondered how she had mixed that up.
"Oh yeah, this guy's family owns sporting goods stores instead of a motor company in the 4Kids dub. I don't know how I got that mixed up. Everything I've seen here has followed the dub so far. But if I'm in the English dub, then why the hell is the setting still Japan and not America like the dub changed it to be?", James mumbled to herself, trying to figure out what the fuck kind of logic the world she was living in followed. Rosewood stared at her in confusion, not understanding a word she said.
"What did you say?", he asked. James quickly snapped back to reality.
"Nothing.", she said quickly, before sighing and thinking up a way to change the subject.
"How about free sporting goods for life instead? Oh, and your solemn vow that if you want to date a girl, you'll just ask her out like a normal person instead of fighting over her with someone and objectifying her like some sexist pig.", James proposed, tacking on the last bit seriously. She was not taking part in any Alexis love interest duels if she could help it on principle because of how misogynistic and stupid most of them were. Rosewood looked even more confused, but agreed anyway.
"Uh… sure.", he trailed off, unsure about what he had just agreed to. James smiled at him brightly.
"Great. I'll email you the anime tonight. Break your word and I'll hunt you for sport with my nail bat. See ya later, tennis boy!", she said, and then she was off. Rosewood watched her go in a daze, and one of his teammates walked over to him.
"What was that all about, Captain?", the tennis club member asked. Rosewood began to look even more confused.
"I honestly have no idea, but I think James McKenna owns my soul now."
—-
Next, James went to the Ra dorm, and after a brief visit to Bastion's room to as where to find her next target, she found Dmitri the copycat duelist outside the dorm staring at the horizon, probably sulking about how because he was a copycat duelist, no one liked him. James ran over to him and waved frantically to get his attention.
"Hey, Dmitri!", James called out. Dmitri looked at the most infamous girl in school in surprise.
"Huh?", he questioned. What could James McKenna possibly want with him? James came to a halt in front of him and shot him a free grin.
"I've got some free cards. Do you want'em?", James asked. Dmitri's look of confusion turned to excitement.
"Free cards?! Seriously?!", he asked. James nodded and pulled the cards out of her pocket.
"Yep, here. I don't know what kind of deck you're into right now, so just take your pick of everything I have. Only take the ones you'll always use, even when you change decks though. I don't want these cards to just sit in your drawer not being used.", James said. Dmtiri eagerly started looking through the stack of cards, but then he seemed to realize something and looked at James with suspicion.
"Wait, what's the catch? Aside from the fact I have to always use the cards.", Dmitri asked. There was no way someone was giving him free cards just because. He was a copycat duelist. No one liked copycats. James grinned ever wider at him.
"The catch is we're friends now. Oh, and FYI, I think the whole 'copying someone's deck thing is wrong' thing is bullshit. It's your deck and you can make it into whatever you want.", James told him, saying something she had been wanting to say for a while. Dmitri looked at her like she was an angel that had come down from heaven to save his sorry soul.
"Really?", he asked in a small voice, as if he couldn't dare to hope for something good. James nodded at him.
"Really. It's bullshit that people treat you like you're committing plagiarism just because you use the same cards as some famous duelists. Everyone has access to Duel Monster cards, no one deck archetype is limited to one person. If I use a machine deck, does that make me Bandit Keith?". ' … in America?', James said, tacking on a mental abridged reference for her own amusement. Dmitri looked like he had just had some divine wisdom dropped onto his head.
"... No.", the boy responded slowly. Jame smiled softly at him.
"Exactly. So don't let people give you shit for the way you duel! And if they do give you shit, just come to me and I'll set them straight! Duel the way you want! It's a free country! Er well, free island, but you get the picture.", James told him passionately.
It was probably weird for her to be so invested in a filler character's problems, but other characters giving Dmitri shit for being a copycat had always pissed her off, especially since James herself was a collector of character-themed decks and technically a copycat herself. Dmitri nodded, a wide grin on his face.
"Yeah, I will! Thanks for the advice and the cards, James!", Dmitri said. James patted him on the shoulder.
"You're welcome!", she said, and Dmitri took the cards he wanted out of the stack and ran back into the Ra dorm to build his latest deck. James sighed in contentment as she watched him run, almost as if she was a proud parent watching her child go to school for the first time.
"My work here is done… Oh shit, I forgot about card game Tarzan!"
—-
James stood on the edge of the forest near the part of the school where the Card Shack was. Tomorrow was eggwich day, so she knew who she was looking for would show up soon enough. James got as close to the forest as she possibly could without entering it and began to speak loudly.
"Hey Damon! It's me, ya girl! Look, I know you don't know me, but my name is James, and I just want to give you some cards! Don't worry about how I know you live in the forest! Let's just call it plot convenience! I have some cards that can help your drawing skills here! I'll just leave them right here on the ground.", James said, and she sat the small stack of about half a dozen cards on the ground gently. There was no response to her yelling. James slowly started to walk away from the cards.
"Okay, you don't wanna come out! I get that! So I'm just gonna leave now! But if you, say, would like to repay my kindness by giving me a few of those lit-ass golden eggwichs, then my room is the fifth one on the right on the third floor of the Obelisk girl's dormitory! Ya know, just for future reference!", James yelled, and then she immediately ran off to the aforementioned dorm to eat dinner.
The next morning, James was happy to find a wrapped golden eggwich sitting on her balcony railing.
—-
"You know, I've been meaning to ask, where were you yesterday? You disappeared the second classes ended. Bastion said he saw you at the Ra dorm before dinner, but that you barely stopped to talk.", Zane asked curiously as he, James and Chazz watched some movie in his dorm room after school. Chazz nodded in agreement with Zane's question, and James shrugged before she adjusted herself on the third year's lap.
"I was out giving away free cards to endear myself to the members of other dorms and make myself an army of filler characters to help do my bidding/fight future big bads.", James said honestly. Chazz looked at her in disbelief and Zane sighed in exasperation before pinching the bridge of his nose.
"I don't even know why I bothered to ask… ", the blue haired boy mumbled. James smirked at him.
"Because you love me?", James asked smugly. Zane gave her a small smile.
"Yep, unfortunately for my sanity.", he said, and then he pecked James on the lips. James chuckled and pulled something out of her pocket.
"Oh yeah, I almost forgot. I got these cards for you Chazz. Make sure you use them, okay?", James said, handing the cards over to her black haired boyfriend. Chazz raised an eyebrow at the gift.
"More loans from one of your decks?", he asked. James shook her head.
"Nope. They're yours to keep.", she told him. Chazz's eyes widened and he looked through the cards eagerly. His eyes lit up when he saw Light and Darkness Dragon.
"Sweet! Thanks babe!", Chazz said as he went to get his deck from his bag so he could add his new cards to it. Zane raised an eyebrow at James, pouting slightly.
"What about me? No new cards for yours truly? I'm almost upset.", Zane said teasingly. James grinned at him and pulled another stack of cards out of her pocket.
"I have some new cyber cards for your deck.", she told him. Zane smiled.
"And just like that, I'm not upset anymore.", he said, before leaning in to kiss James.
I know I promised a cult and the rank-up exams, but the giving out cards thing was way longer than expected. I went back and watched a lot of GX for these filler characters that probably won't be that important beyond some funny scenes later on. Going back and watching those episodes reminded me about what I loved about GX in the first place; the sheer ridiculousness of the show. There is so much comedic potential here. Next time, the cult I promised last chapter and the rank-up exams!
So long and Goodnight, Thackery Binx.
