"You should go back out." Madam Pomfrey said quietly, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Everyone has been concerned about you." He could understand why they would be concerned about him. He hadn't shown up for class in days.
Edmund just looked out over the bustling courtyard, he could clearly separate all of the students. The first-years wore their ties correctly, while the older ones barely wore it. He could see the fur coats from Durmstrang and people swarming around a single fur coat. That would be Viktor. Then there were the Beauxbatons students, they never ran. "I'm not ready." His voice was hoarse and he put the bishop down, knocking over the king. "Checkmate."
"It's just another step." His uncle said and started to reposition the chessboard. "You should've told Madam Pomfrey here to get rid of the scar on your face." The man huffed as he looked closer. "You don't want to start looking like me, not a lot of women like scarred men."
"Not a lot of women like werewolves." Edmund retorted, he accepted the pieces that his uncle held out to him. They put them back on the black and white wood, on the place they belong in order to begin yet another game.
He glanced back out to the courtyard but caught a glimpse of himself instead, the scar under his eye was still pink, barely healed. He shouldn't have gone out to visit the maze again after everyone had abandoned it. He shouldn't have tried to get a glimpse of his mother while it was just a boggart. He shouldn't have done it at all and he paid the price for it.
The words of his mother echoed inside of his head and he turned back to his uncle. Immediately he countered the first step his uncle had made in the game. "Here." His uncle said and placed a glass vial on the table, beside the chess board. It shone with the light of a memory.
Edmund took a hold of it and looked at it. "Is it yours?" He asked quietly. It taunted him, screaming at him to already project it and look at it, but he didn't dare look at the sight of what he presumes would be his mother.
"It is mine." Remus nodded. "It's a memory that I cherish dearly. It was a moment that I could never forget." The look in his eyes made Edmund want to push it back into his hands and just force his fingers around the frail tube of glass. But after his uncle had seen his fingers tense, he gave a stern look. "You need it more than I do, Edmund." His uncle said and he put the pawn at an obvious place, the only place where the game can be won in only a few steps. "Someone's coming." The man hummed.
"So what," Edmund protested as he moved his pawn to win the game. "Why are you forfeiting, they can wait." He protested but his uncle continued to move his pawns as a way to surrender.
"Checkmate." Edmund murmured as he threw over the king, winning the game. "You know that I don't like to win games like this." His uncle had a habit of letting him win, and playing an expert game to challenge him. A soft knock at the door simmered the annoyed feelings that were starting to arise. The door opened only a bit and the feelings of annoyance disappeared immediately.
"Edmund?" She called out and blushed when she saw his uncle. "Professor Lupin." She greeted the former figure of authority. Edmund snorted when his uncle bashfully smiled.
"No professor Lupin anymore, just Lupin." The man said and stood up, grabbing the jacket from his chair. "Watch that memory, Edmund." He put a hand on his shoulder and softly squeezed it. "Don't hesitate to visit me again!" The man called out as he walked past Hermione and out of the door, "The boggart in the grandfather clock is getting lonely."
Edmund let out a breath of amusement as his eyes locked onto Hermione's figure. "Hey." He said softly. The girl crossed her arms.
"Hey yourself," She said and walked over to him. He expected a hug but instead felt a punch to his shoulder. "No-one has seen you in days!" She exclaimed. "You think you can come out wounded like that and not let anyone know where you disappeared off to!" She huffed out an annoyed breath. "I had to ask Susan!" She looked at him and nodded, "You know that Susan isn't exactly fond of me."
Susan was the only student who could walk past Madam Pomfrey without there being any discussion or debate. Not even Harry could walk past the matron without being chastised that Edmund was stressed enough that he didn't need another argument with his brother. Susan however, could smile at Madam Pomfrey and receive a cup of tea without having to ask for it.
"Sure she is fond of you." Edmund frowned as he looked at her. "Are you here because of the maze?" He asked quietly, the warmth spread down his neck. The maze where she has appeared as a Siren to disarm him, what made him even more nervous was how she wore her hair. In a bun, exactly like the siren did in an attempt to disarm him.
She blushed as well, clearly remembering the moment, "No, I'm here to take you outside."
Edmund frowned. "Outside where." He asked, relief spread throughout his chest as he realised she wasn't there to confront him. "Will there be a lot of people?" He asked. He wasn't ready for the crowds, slapping his back, telling him that he did a good job when all he did was just survive and make it out of the death trap.
"Everyone is studying for their exams, Edmund." Hermione looked mildly amused and Edmund loved to see her like that, her smile lines only appear faintly unlike when she smiled, then the depth to the wrinkle would just make him fall to his knees.
"Oh." Edmund said, "I've been keeping up with my studies, Hermione, I swear." He said and held his hand up and motioned over to the bed with piles of homework besides it.
Hermione laughed and Edmund didn't feel any fear for a moment. "Don't worry, I know you are." She said and reached out for his elbow. "Come to Hogsmeade with me, please. I have missed my friend." She said.
Friend. Edmund's mouth dried but despite that he nodded, "Of course, Hermione." He knew that Madam Pomfrey was listening and was jumping around in joy. "I just need to get dressed first."
"Neville brought you some clothes yesterday!" Madam Pomfrey called out from the potions closet where she was organising the vials. Edmund had a small smile on his face as he rolled the memory vial between his fingers.
"Get dressed." Hermione ordered with the usual bossy tone of hers and Edmund laughed, genuinely laughed. Oh had he missed Hermione, the Hermione who wasn't hopeless around Ron. The Hermione who was so determined to get good grades. The Hermione that he was utterly, hopelessly devoted to.
"Yes ma'am." Edmund said jokingly and grabbed the folded clothes off of his bed and moved to change behind a screen. He heard Hermione and Madam Pomfrey talk quietly but he didn't pay any attention to it.
He pursed his lips as he doesn't remember what time it was, but he assumes it was the afternoon, the sun was sinking into what his eyes can't see and he hopes that no-one had the same idea that Hermione had, to go to Hogsmeade.
"Ready?" Hermione called out as she impatiently waited by the door. Balancing on the tip of her toes occasionally. Edmund had a small smile on his face as he walked out from behind the screen and pulled his jacket that he grabbed from the coat hanger.
"As ready as I can be." He suddenly felt nervous, the pink scar under his eye felt as if it would bleed any second. "Wait." He called out quietly and grabbed the gauze pad that Madam Pomfrey had put aside.
He stuck it under his eye and pressed it lightly, hoping that it would stick. Hermione frowned as she looked at his action but she didn't say anything. "Let's go, Hermione." Edmund said quietly.
—–
Edmund swallowed as he looked at the sign. Many couples went to that café for their first date, just like Cedric had done with Cho. Cedric had sighed, sounding madly in love for nearly an hour before Susan had to shut him up.
"There is a booth down by the books, dearies." The woman behind the counter said, Madam Puddifoot, Edmund recognized her. Hermione sat down by the window and told Madam Puddifoot that she wanted her usual and Edmund just stammered out that he'd like the same.
There was a nagging feeling just killing him to say something about the tournament and he had been isolating himself so much. He just forgot to keep in his thoughts, "I didn't expect to see you." He bursted out.
"What?" Hermione looked distracted but that took her attention immediately. Her eyes stopped focussing on the painting behind Edmund and looked at him instead.
"I didn't expect for you to appear in the maze." Edmund repeated himself, "Especially as a siren." There was a quiet, mutual understanding. Sirens will change their appearance to turn into something, or in Edmund's case, someone's biggest desire. Edmund had longed for Hermione and he was so close.
It was then in the maze that he realised. Hermione wouldn't have let him reach out to her, to cradle her face between his fingers or run a hand through her hair. "I know." She said, "Why was your uncle here? Playing chess with you?"
"To comfort me." Edmund said and pulled the necklace out from under his shirt. He held it up and looked at it, the silvery light swimming around in the small vial. "The confrontation with my mother really affected me, I couldn't even look at my father." He spoke, it was nearly classified as a whisper. "It was tough, very tough hearing my mother again, asking me why I didn't die with her."
"Really?" Hermione asked. Edmund never looked away from his necklace.
"Yeah," He gulped and clenched his jaw. "I'd like to show you my mother, memories with her in it." He offered but then he heard it, the familiar laugh followed by a giggle.
Hermione and Edmund had been sitting in their booth for only ten minutes, Edmund frowned and Hermione caught on, she put a hand over Edmund's to keep him from looking back at the couple, the ginger and the brunette. "You brought me here to spy on them." Edmund accused quietly.
"No!" Hermione protested and squeezed his hand.
Edmund left his hand under hers, but he was warming up. Angry, he had never felt angry with Hermione before and all he could think about was how badly it was breaking his heart. "I was going to show you my mother."
Ron laughed again and Hermione lost her focus on Edmund. She was glancing over to the couple, wondering what they're laughing about, turning green with jealousy. Edmund let out a breath, he couldn't believe it. "Granger." His voice dropped into a serious one, no more the lighthearted one.
Hermione looked over at him, her chest heaving. Edmund didn't know if it was from anger or if she was scared. Edmund normally knows Hermione, he would normally know if she was angry, sad or even proud.
"I don't even know if I am considered as an option here, Hermione." He whispered, "After all that I have done to get a slightest bit of your attention, I'm never going to be a priority for you." Hermione squeezed his hands, opening her mouth to protest but Edmund pulled his hands out from under her grip, "I'm just something that you use to make Ron jealous."
"It isn't like that-"
"What is it then, Hermione?" He questioned. "You suddenly want to spend time with me alone whenever he is with Lavender? I rather enjoyed being your study buddy in the library, but I'm not going to be your drinking buddy whenever Lavender and Ron are having tea at Madam Puddifoot's, a place where dates happen."
"But-"
"But you barely listened to me then." said Edmund, his voice cracking. "I was telling you about my mother, to show her to you. You know how hard that is for me, the one time I talked to her again or even heard her voice was asking me why I didn't join her after she had died, why I left her all alone." Hermione frowned as she opened her mouth. "As much as I want to like, even love, you, the hardest thing about wanting to love is you not loving me back." He said, louder than he had intended to. Ron and Lavender had fallen quietly.
"Why were you going to show me your mother?"
"Because my mother loved me, cherished me and raised me until her death." Edmund was seething, she was talking about his mother like she was just another thing Edmund was talking about.
Her eyes looked panicked as she glanced between Ron and Edmund. Edmund subconsciously talked quieter. "You once asked me what I wanted to be later, and I told you that I wanted to be what my mother couldn't."
"When?"
"We were twelve," He said, "We were in the library because you wanted to learn about magical professions." Edmund gripped his necklace tightly. "This memory holds Professor Dumbledore's memory," Her eyes widened, "Interviewing my mom about what she later wants to be."
Edmund clenched his jaw, "I want to be a teacher, a professor at Hogwarts." He says quietly. "To inspire, and instil a love of learning." Edmund quoted his mother's words. "She would have loved you, Hermione."
"Oh Theseus."
Edmund slid out of the booth while shaking his head, no more. "I'm just Edmund to you, Hermione. Lupin, even. Just not Theseus." Shaking his head, Edmund said, "Not anymore, I don't even know why I thought that you were actually giving me a chance."
He doesn't know why, but there was a sense of finality around it. That was one strike, of the many he supposes. He grabbed his jacket and didn't listen to Hermione's protests as he walked out of the door.
Instead of going to the carriage like one does, the one path where in his mind, Hermione would follow after him and just argue. He steps inside of the sweets shop, Honeydukes. The smell of newly made caramel was wrapped around him as he walked between one of the aisles.
A hand on the door known as he looked around a bit more before opening it, stepping into the cellar and down to the trapdoor. He took in a breath and closed the hatchet above him. Into the dusty dark tunnel instead of the smell of tea, or the smell of candy.
He has had enough.
