Convulsively I jerked awake. My arms stung and my hands gripped the blanket. Pale moonlight shone through the single window. The shadowed shapes of the other two beds. A snore from one of them, like canvas ripping: Thom. A few coals gleamed among the ashes on the hearth. It was a dream, almost the same as the book. But not a simple dream. No, that had been a dream created and controlled by Ba'alzamon to ensnare and trap the three ta'veren. I shivered at the thought of the torture I narrowly escaped. Ba'alzamon… Ishamael… The Betrayer of Hope. I shivered once more. A Forsaken stalked us in our dreams, our very real and deadly dreams.
I slept poorly and got up as soon as the sun streamed through the window. My head felt stuffy, and body sore, small pools of blood dried where my arms lay, the thorn scratches coming with me into the real world. Lan was already up and out of the room, while Thom still lay, occasionally snoring.
"Light… I need to tell Moiraine," I muttered to myself as I wiped the dried blood off my arms with a washcloth.
"Tell her what," came Lan's voice from the doorway. I started, not having heard the Warder approach.
I showed him my arms. "You see these scratches? I got them from a dream, a bad one. There should be dead rats filling the inn, have they started finding them yet?"
Lan's face went still as ice. "Is this something to do with your books, sheepherder?"
"Yes. Moiraine needs to know as soon as possible," I said with some urgency. Thom grumbled and put a pillow over his head.
"Finish cleaning up and I'll make sure she is presentable for the likes of you," Lan said dismissively, turning around and leaving just as silently as he arrived. Thom sighed wearily as he took the pillow off his face.
"You two couldn't have been a little bit quieter?" the old man said, blowing his dangling mustaches out of his mouth.
Running on too little sleep, I bit out a "Tough luck. At least you got to sleep. I had to deal with a… bad dream." I stopped myself from saying the word Forsaken, thankfully. Thom laughed.
"A bad dream? Is that where you scratched yourself up so bad?"
"Yes," I grit out, grabbing a cloth and walking over to the washbasin.
"Fine, boy, I see you have indeed had little sleep if you're willing to be so rude."
I ignored him.
Soon after I finished wiping away the crusted blood and cleaning the scratches, new blood welling to scab over again, Lan showed back up. He stood with an eyebrow raised as I just looked at him waiting to speak. Realizing he wasn't going to, I stood up. He nodded and turned, leading me down the stairs to the room I visited last night. Lan strode inside without knocking, and I followed him. Inside the room a bleary-eyed Egwene was finishing tying her laces together, and looked up at me, disgruntled.
"They woke me up to make me leave, so this better be important, Rand," she muttered. Her hair was mussy and unbrushed, and her dress rumpled. She looked silly, and I had to stifle the chuckle that filled my throat. Then I saw Moiraine, and my mouth opened.
Moiraine sat at her bed, methodically brushing her hair, wearing a blue robe that revealed much of her slim legs, and more cleavage than I had ever seen from her, as she usually wore quite beautiful, if conservative, dresses. I stared for a long moment, before realizing what I was doing. Egwene snorted in disgust and Lan looked amused for the briefest of moments in the corner of my eye.
"Men," Egwene grumbled, as she pushed past me out the room.
Moiraine ignored her, and my arrival, continuing to brush her hair, while Lan left after Egwene, heading downstairs. After I stood awkwardly for a minute waiting for her to finish, trying not to stare, she spoke.
"I don't mind if you watch. You may sit. Tell me of this dream, a dream that causes you to bleed all over your bedsheet." She looked vaguely ill at the notion.
I kept my eyes on her face and her brushing hand, following it, slightly mesmerized. I had never seen a woman brush her hair before, though I know it was done. It was so methodical, and the sound was almost… soothing. I focused back on her face. "I uh. I had the Ba'alzamon dream I told you of, from the books. The one where I am trapped in a strange place that doesn't operate like the real world, and he makes bold claims while trying to trick me and turn me against you and the White Tower. That you would leash me and lead me to die, that I was just one in a line of False Dragons raised by the White Tower, that they bred me for this purpose. All nonsense, of course. I fled before he could torture me, but I had to move to another dream, a thorny hedge maze I had to push through and the wounds came back with me. They can do that, if a dreamer is not careful. I was not careful, Moiraine Sedai." Moiraine tried to look calm as I spoke, but her gaze kept returning to the deep scratches on my arms and the knowledge it came from a dream. I could tell it disturbed her deeply.
"I had hoped this would not happen, but it appears we are to repeat some of these 'book scenes' of yours, as our Age and the Age of the books are not different enough." Moiraine stated once I finished. "We're leaving today and not waiting, once the Wisdom arrives. Min will be coming with us, this time. I do not think it safe for her to be here, and neither is it safe for us, obviously."
"I agree completely, and if you had said she was staying I would have fought you on it."
Moiraine nodded as if that was all well. "Tell your friends the bad news, explain to them so I do not catch them sneaking out. And we must deal with Padan Fain today, or risk the birth of a new evil. I do not wish to alert Fain, so only you will go out, to find him, and Lan will follow behind you. One way or another, I mean for him to be dealt with before we leave. The Pattern twists and whorls around you, Rand. I do not doubt you will find Fain."
I nodded, reluctantly. I'd rather not deal with the strange, unsettling man, turned into a hunter by Ba'alzamon, but the Aes Sedai ordered me and I must obey. Well not must, but Aes Sedai do not take kindly to those who do not listen, and it was necessary besides. I did not wish more Trollocs in the Two Rivers.
"I will do my best to find him, but I do not know Baerlon and I don't wish to get lost, Moiraine Sedai."
"Do not worry about that, Min will guide you," Moiraine said dismissively with a wave of her hand. Her robe slid, revealing more pale shoulder and chest, though she absently pulled it up again. My cheeks heated. "You will find him, or you won't. The Wheel weaves as the Wheel wills, and we know he will wind up near us again, if you don't find him today." Moiraine still looked calm, but there was a nervous energy to her and she resettled herself on the edge of her bed, her brushing finished. "Something of what Min told me seemed strange, different from what she told this other Rand. Do you know what the stamp is, or the black glass?"
I reached into my pocket, where I had put it after it appeared when I saw Moiraine, and presented it to her. It was a round wooden stamp, a cylindrical shape about four inches tall, with the freshly inked symbol of the ancient Aes Sedai on one end. It was such a simple thing, for how strange its appearance was.
"This is the Stamp. It doesn't appear anywhere in my memories of the books, and it appears and disappears from my hand and pocket depending on circumstance," I explained, sheepish. "I don't know why I have it. I should have told you about it, earlier, but it never seemed important. Not like the other things. No idea what the black glass is."
"Hmm. I expected something like this. And are the circumstance being around a pretty woman?" she asked, an unreadable expression lingered on her face as she eyed the stamp as if it were a snake about to bite her.
I nodded reluctantly, slightly ashamed. "Yes, I first noticed it when I mentioned you to my father after first waking up on Winternight. It appears in my hand near you, Egwene, the Wisdom Nynaeve, and Min, but not anyone else. I don't know what it means, other than the stamp is of the pre-Breaking Aes Sedai symbol."
" 'Five are the wives of the Dragon,
marked by the ancient sign in everlasting ink.
The Dragon Reborn shall know their hearts, and their hearts shall know him.
Pray the women ease his Soul of Fire, and soften his Heart of Stone.
Pray the Dragon Reborn knows love, before it is too late.'"
She paused for a moment, the dark wells of her eyes staring into mine. "That is one part of the Karaethon Cycle you yet to mention, the Dragon Reborn and his dragonwives. I had assumed it happens in a later book you have yet to mention, but…" She trailed off, eyeing me expectantly, looking supremely calm.
I looked confused, internally reeling. There was a prophecy about my bloody love life? "Uh. No. He was fated for three women, but that was something Min saw. There was no prophecy."
Moiraine frowned, eyes curious. "Another discrepancy, a similar notion but lesser. It truly seems we are in an Age reborn. Prophecy states multiple times the Dragon Reborn is to have five wives, as I just said. The White Tower believes that there is one for each Element—Fire, Earth, Air, Water, and Spirit—and that they will each be Aes Sedai, meant to guide the Dragon Reborn in his duties."
Her words shocked me to my core, my mouth agape as I stared at Moiraine's serious expression, her dark eyes drawing me in, her dark hair framing her face, cascading in shiny waves, her robe opened to reveal her upper chest, and a pale expanse of cleavage, before I realized what I was doing and looked away. Now is not the time to moon over a pretty woman, Rand, I told myself. I expected to have to marry Elayne, Avihenda and Min, sometime, a year or two in the future. I did not expect to have five wives, nor them maybe being all Aes Sedai. Light, what am I getting myself into? Wait. Does Moiraine believe she is one? I considered her.
"Did Min see who they were? She did in the books."
Moiraine was quiet for a long moment, meeting my gaze. There was an emotion in her eyes I could not read again, a sudden tension in the air. "Yes, yes, she did." After a moments' pause she continued, "I will let her tell you, though. It is not important right now. I need you to go wake up the other young men, Rand. I have much to do before we leave, letters to send and supplies to buy. When you are ready to head out, let Lan know. He will follow you until you've found Fain. I'm certain your nature as a ta'veren will help you greatly." She said hurriedly, suddenly up and shooing me out of the room, her face utterly calm all the while but for a slight tinge of color to her cheeks that caught my eye as the door closed behind me.
Burn me, Moiraine Sedai thinks she's going to be my wife, I realized in a daze as I walked down the hallway away from the girl's room. Is that something I even want? I considered it. All the trouble the other Rand put his Moiraine through, only for her to wind up dying because the other Rand couldn't kill Lanfear, a Forsaken. All because of her gender she would live, regardless of the atrocities and crimes committed by her in this Age and the last. I had already resolved to save Moiraine from that fate, but did that now mean taking the step to become husband and wife with the stamp?
I shook my head, casting away such thoughts, and considered the actual question. Do I want to be married to Moiraine? She was beautiful, a noble born lady, royal blood and powerful in the One Power. She was also secretive, manipulative, and absolutely focused on the mission of humanity surviving Tarmon Gai'dan above all else. And I think I can live with that. In the future. Sometime. Not yet, of course. Who knows how many short, violent, increasingly mad years I'll live, but there are far worse Aes Sedai to spend those brief years with, I thought with morbidly.
I went back up to the fourth floor to Mat and Perrin's room, barging in with false cheer. "Good morning you too! Any bad dreams?" It was a room as tiny and cramped as my own, but lacking three people meant it was luxurious compared to mine. I will admit to feeling a little jealousy.
A pillow was thrown at my face as I strode loudly into the room. "Now that's just rude, Mat," I said, holding on to it as Mat stared blearily at me.
"Light, give me back the pillow, its too bright and early, Rand."
Perrin rumbled, turning fitfully in his sleep.
I did not hand him back the pillow. "I have some news for you both. Wake Perrin up." I leaned against the door, trying to mimic Lan's cool slouch but failing miserably. Mat chuckled at me, though, so it was worth it. I did not think about the dream or Moiraine. Light, an Aes Sedai wife, am I blessed or cursed? I shook my head of errant thoughts.
"I got some news for you too," said Mat, suddenly looking much more awake. There was some fear in his eyes and he wore a nervous smile as he shook Perrin. "The dream cleared up a few things for me."
Perrin woke up, groggy, holding his head. "Ugh, why do I have to get up, so soon after falling back asleep?" he moaned, piteously. "My head is pounding."
"You both had the dream right? With Ba'alzamon ranting and the rat, right?"
They both flinched. Gotcha.
"Yeah, I can see you both did. I have some good news and some bad news. Bad news is we are leaving today, Moiraine Sedai does not trust that Ba'alzamon hasn't managed to figure out where we are and delivered that news to a Fade or a Darkfriend. So we will stay in the inn until we leave, no going out on the town. Now for the good news. I can tell you both that was not the Dark One in the dream, though he may have made it seem that way, but an insane Forsaken. So it's not quite as bad as you both thought."
"What?" Mat asked worriedly.
"Are you serious?" Perrin questioned.
They turned to look at each other, and then Mat motioned Perrin to speak. "Are you serious, Rand? This is not a prank or some kind of cockamamie joke?"
"I'm quite serious, Perrin. I had a freaky nightmare that gave me actual scratches and caused me to bleed all over my bed." I pulled down my sleeves to show my arms covered in jagged red scratches, scabbed over again. "Thorns, from a hedgerow maze I escaped into. Once I realized who Ba'alzamon was, I knew I would need to tell Moiraine Sedai everything, and I wasn't sure I would remember if I stuck around to see the grand finale. So yes, seriously he is not the Dark One, and he really is bonkers, so don't antagonize him. Always act like you think he's the Dark One. He's got an ego, Ba'alzamon."
"Of course you thought you needed to tell the Aes Sedai everything. You already do that." Mat said scornfully, then his mood flipped "But hey, you managed to escape? How? I tried everything, even the windows," Mat said, with morbid curiosity. He looked distinctly ill at ease from the talk of the Dark One and Forsaken.
"It's going to sound silly, but I thought really hard about how the locked door opened up to another dream. And when I went through it it was a different dream, a hedgemaze. Ba'alzamon followed me, but I ran and ran until I woke up, instead of being tortured like that rat. I knew it was a dream, so I went to a different dream, one of running from him instead of talking to him."
Mat gaped at me. "That's… that's how you escaped? Thinking really hard at a door? Bah, what a stupid idea."
Perrin defended me, shaking his shaggy head at Mat. "A dream can be anything, Mat. You can fly in dreams. That must have been the way Ba… the man kept changing things in the room, he made them change with his will, like Rand made the door open to a different dream," he said, finishing with a yawn, rubbing his temples.
"I think you're on to something, Perrin," I said with a smile.
"Do you remember those names he said? And the last one?" Mat asked cautiously.
I frowned. "Mat, I'm not a false Dragon. None of us are. Ba'alzamon lies, even when he tells the truth. You cannot trust him."
Mat waved his hands in the air in protest. "No, no, I know that. I'm just thinking. You think Moiraine Sedai has your best interests at heart, but what if someones pulling her strings? What if she doesn't know she's using you like all those other men? What if they make you seem like a False Dragon, even if you aren't?"
"That's silly, Mat. She knows exactly what I am, and who I am, and I know the same of her. There are no string-pullers on her. This mission of hers, to guide and protect us, is secret and only the Amyrlin Seat knows. No one is going to make me a False Dragon."
Mat grumbled angrily, giving me a bitter look that took me aback. "Like the Amyrlin Seat isn't the biggest string-puller of all. Bloody ashes, Rand," he cursed, "I was just trying to help you out, but if you say so, I guess you would know. You would know, since you know bloody everything now." Then he quickly threw on his clothes and left saying, "I'm hungry, Ill get something to eat first."
"I don't know everything, but I'm pretty bloody certain with what I do know, mostly!" I called out after him. The room next to us banged on the wall, startling me, but not Perrin who gazed wearily at the door. Though things keep changing. Five women, not three, and a prophecy about losing my memories. How much can I really rely on what I know? Doubt crept in. I know the Moiraine of the book, not this one. I know the actions of the Forsaken in the book, not what they'll really do. I shook the thoughts away. I could not think like that. I had to rely on what I knew and hope it mostly matched.
The overarching goal was the same anyway, regardless of if my information stopped matching up. Head to the Eye of the World, save the horn and the Greenman, deal with any Forsaken interfering. Then it was a spill and plan session with Moiraine, as we would go over the next two years, and what I remember.
"Mat's just worried about you," Perrin said, as he put on his clothes, I spotted hairy ass as I looked back and immediately faced forward again. "Those names, I don't know any of them, but I recognized Logain. Rand if she is using you… We'll be by your side, okay? I'm not saying she is, mind you."
I couldn't be annoyed at Perrin. He was a good guy, that was just trying to take care of his friends. I nodded. "I know. I know you'll be there with me, through thick and thin, through storm and calm and every day in between. I should have not been so dismissive with Mat. I just, I have to trust Moiraine Sedai, you know? I don't really have any other choice, so Mat's suggestion wasn't helpful." After I checked Perrin had finished dressing, I patted him on his shoulder. "Lets eat, then I'm going to see if I cannot do some sword exercises out in the stableyard and get rid of this headache."
My headache still lasted past an awkward breakfast with Mat and the Wisdom, Egwene having returned to her room to get ready. The stuffy feeling faded but still present and my body felt achy. I sat on a barrel, leaning my head against the back of the inn and hoping the cold spring air would soothe it. I had yet to start my exercises when a woman's low voice called out, grabbing my attention.
"A shepherd with a heron-mark sword. That's almost enough to make me believe anything. What trouble are you in, downcountry boy?"
I jumped, not expecting Min, though perhaps I should have. She wore her hair cropped and curly, dressed in a boy's coat and breeches, looked a little older than I, with dark eyes even bigger than Egwene's and oddly intent. She was beautiful, in an unfamiliar way. I had never seen a woman with hair that short, nor dressed in her way, yet both fit her. I found myself instantly smitten. I slid the stamp into my pocket.
"You are Rand, aren't you?" she went on. "My name is Min, Min Farshaw."
"I know," I replied, forcing a smile on my face, as I stood up from where I sat. "Mistress Alys told me of you. You're joining our trouble, it sounds like. Welcome aboard."
Min shivered. "I just finished speaking with… her. How do you already know?"
I smiled with more authentically, eager to pull the mysterious act that she usually got to do. "I know a lot and I know a little. Secrets and things of that nature. I know your eyes see things others do not."
She was taken aback, then laughed, her smile bright and teasing, all worry gone. "So you already know, huh? What else do you know?"
"You are one of the five, correct?" I said, a bit eagerly. She really was beautiful.
She stiffened, her cheeks pinking and her eyes going wide. "You know about that too?!"
So this is one of my fated wives, I thought, giving her a considering look that had her blushing even harder.
"A lucky guess, a lucky guess is all. I know you see things, and the things you see come true. You don't much like it, but you've learned to live with it." She nods, not opening her mouth, cheeks still pink. "Do you see me in a funeral bier, surrounded by women? That's all I really wanted to know."
"No, but I see other things. Lots of other things. Things I feel as if I don't need to tell you, since you already know them." She said with a huff, sauntering over to my side.
I stood and bowed, low and long. "I apologize Lady Min, I know you're the one who usually gets to play at mysterious knowledge of the future."
She lightly tapped me on the shoulder. I definitely did not let out a surprised grunt and frown as I stumbled to the side. Once Min finished laughing, she said, "You may be a downcountry shepherd, but you are amusing. Perhaps I will tell you of the things I see once we start our journey." Her grin was infectious, and I smiled back at her once more.
"As long as you don't see me dead, I'm okay with not knowing everything." I paused. "Can I guess some of them?" She nodded. "A crystal sword, and a crown of golden laurel leaves. A great shadow devouring the sparks of light coming off of me. And uh, water falling on sand. That was one in the books."
"The books? And you got them all right, though one is something you all have... Are you sure you need me to tell you what I see?" She wondered, peering up at me quizzically.
I started, realizing what I had said. "I will tell you about the books, when you tell me of what you see. How about that? Now each of us has a secret to share."
She put out her hand. "Shake on it, Rand." So we shook, her hand feeling soft and warm in my own. She smiled a satisfied smile. "Now Moir- that is, Mistress Alys told me I should take you on a tour of our wonderful town, within the next few hours, to find a man. Are you busy?"
"I was planning on doing some exercises with my sword, but that can wait."
Delight appeared in her eyes and a cheeky grin on her face. "Oh, this I have to see. Do your sword moves, I want to see a blademaster at work!" she said, excitedly.
Embarrassed, I rubbed the back of my head. "Ah, well. They're very simple. I'm not even close to a blademaster."
"Don't care, sheepherder, that makes it better. Get your behind moving, I want to see all you know. I've never seen a real swordsman at work, just fool merchant guards, so you better impress me."
So I showed her. It was embarrassing to swing my sword like an idiot in front of her, but I humiliated myself anyway, as she was too pretty not to make a fool of myself. I held my sword straight out for as long as possible until my arms shook and burned, doing laps with it banging against my leg that made me feel like an idiot, bruising my leg. I swung the sword dozens of times, in half a dozen positions each that Lan had taught me. Min was kind enough to bring me water during breaks, letting me relax on the cool pavingstones against a barrel.
"Is that all you do, hold the sword? I expected more," she said on the first break.
"Master Andra said it is the most important thing for a soldier, learning how to hold the sword for hours. 'Battles don't end when you get tired, they end when one side cannot hold their swords anymore.' " I quoted.
She looked at me curiously with those big brown eyes. "You aren't a soldier or even a warrior. Why try so hard?"
"We fought Trollocs, in the Two Rivers," I said quietly. "We'll fight them again, inevitably. I want to be ready next time, do better. And who else can say a man like Master Andra trained them? Not many."
She nodded, seemingly satisfied with my answer.
After I finished, and wiped off my sweat with a wet rag, leaving me shivering bare chested in the cold spring air, I put on my shirt and we headed out into Baerlon on our mission to find Padan Fain. Baerlon was muddy, filled with people, and all together too loud, I thought, my head still feeling a little tender, exacerbated by the noise. Any street that wasn't paved was churned into a muddy mess by the rain last night and the crowds. And yet, a part of me seemed familiar with the chaos, the push and pull of the crowd, the endless chatter and shouts in my ears in my ears. A part that grew, albeit slowly, as we walked.
There certainly were no palaces, and only a few houses were very much bigger than those back in Emond's Field, but every house had a roof of slate or tile as fine as the roof of the Winespring Inn. I supposed there would be a palace or two in Caemlyn. As for inns, I counted nine, not one smaller than the Winespring and most as large as the Stag and Lion, and there were plenty of streets I had not seen yet. Min kept up a running commentary on each inn, narrating all their bad points compared to the Stag And Lion. Cooks that spat in food, moldy ale kegs, maids that stole, even one in where a stableman allegedly molested traveler's horses. I shuddered in disgust, listening to her. To think so many people like that worked hospitality…
Shops dotted every street, with awnings out front sheltering tables covered with goods, everything from cloth to books to pots to boots. It was as if a hundred peddlers' wagons had spilled out their contents. I stared so much that more than once we had to hurry on at the suspicious look of a shopkeeper. I had not understood the first shopkeeper's stare. When Min explained, I started to get angry until I remembered that here I was the stranger. I could not have bought much, anyway. Even hard little turnips were selling for a handful of coppers, when they would have been consigned to feedstock in the Two Rivers.
There were certainly more than enough people to my estimation. For a while, the sheer number of them almost overwhelmed me, until I grew used to it. Some wore clothes of finer cut than anyone in the Two Rivers—almost as fine as Moiraine's—and quite a few had long, fur-lined coats that flapped around their ankles. The miners everybody at the inn kept talking about, they had the hunched look of men who grubbed underground. But most of the people did not look any different from those I had seen in my brief two days in Emond's Field, not in dress or in face.
An hour or so into our trip, I stared in disbelief at a bony little man with long arms and a big nose, shoving hurriedly through the crowd in clothes that looked like a bundle of rags. The man's eyes were sunken and his dirty face gaunt, as if he had not eaten or slept in days, but I could swear… The ragged man saw me then, and froze in mid-step, heedless of people who all but stumbled over him. The last doubt in my mind vanished. Padan Fain, whispered a voice in my mind. We found him, I thought with a vicious grin.
"Master Fain!" I shouted. "We all thought you were—"
As quick as a blink the peddler darted away, but I dodged after him, calling apologies over my shoulder to the people he bumped. Through the crowd I just caught sight of Fain dashing into an alleyway, and I turned after. I did not know where Min was, having lost her in the scrum.
A few steps into the alleyway the peddler had stopped in his tracks. A tall fence made it into a dead end. As I skidded to a halt, Fain rounded on me, crouching warily and backing away. He flapped grimy hands at me to stay back. More than one rip showed in his coat, and his cloak was worn and tattered as if it had seen much harder use than it was meant for. Must be from living with Trollocs. Foul evil little worm.
I smiled grimly. "Oh Master Fain, whatever is the matter. It's me, Rand al'Thor, from Emond's Field. We all thought the Trollocs had taken you." I moved slowly closer, my hand reaching for my sword hilt. Perhaps today it would be blooded. My stomach felt queasy at the idea, but Padan Fain had to die. He just had to. I felt it in my bones.
Fain gestured sharply and, still in a crouch, ran a few crabbed steps toward the open end of the alley. He did not try to pass me, or even come close to me. "Don't!" he rasped. His head shifted constantly as he tried to see everything in the street beyond me. "Don't mention"—his voice dropped to a hoarse whisper, and he turned his head away, watching me with quick, sidelong glances—"them. There be Whitecloaks in the town."
Min came breathlessly into the alley. "Light, Rand, why did you…" She trailed off when she saw the man, looking sick at whatever she saw. That only incentivized me to kill him. The death of this man, it would be a good to the world. I took some time to achieve the Flame and the Void as Fain rambled.
"—burned my wagon, and all my goods. Had no cause to be doing that, did they? I cou—" I seized saidin, the light easy to grasp, filling me with honeysweet life, and the rancid taint, churning my stomach. I was one with myself, with saidin, with my sheathed sword. I reached out and held him, like Moiraine had done to me, leaving him standing still in bands of Air, with a slug of Air in his mouth stopping his maddened rambling, and pulled out my blade, the sound ringing in the air of the alleyway.
I turned to Min. She needed to understand. "This man led Trollocs to my home, Min. Tried to burn it down."
"Rand…"
"He tried to capture me, and my friends. He tried to kill my dad. In another Age he almost did, and he would escape justice for years."
"Rand." Her voice was more insistent, and the worry on her face pronounced.
"And now, I have him—"
"RAND," Min shouted, pointing to Padan Fain, who writhed in the bands of Air, eyes wide and fearful, breathing heavily through his nose. He looked pathetic, like a rat caught in a trap.
"Light Rand, let him go! Whatever you're doing, let him go! He can't escape from the two of us. You don't need to do this, you don't need to be the one," she pleaded.
I was stuck in the moment, my hand wavering, the Void shattering like sugarglass. She was right. Why was I doing this? I thought, the high I had been on, the certainty that Padan Fain must die fading rapidly. I began to sheathe the sword when Lan's gruff voice filled the alleyway.
"And I was supposed to do it, out of sight. Not you, sheepherder, and while terrorizing a poor girl like that. Let him go, you hot-headed fool. I'll deal with the poor wretch."
Lan approached the stuck man, walking past us with his sword drawn. Taken aback by my own actions—Light, I was about to kill a man in front of Min, what was I thinking?—I finished sheathed my sword, and released the bonds of air. The man collapsed to the ground, gulping heavy breaths. As Padan Fain took his last breaths, Lan swung. Min turned and stumbled into me, putting her face in my chest. Red, red blood sprayed out in jets, painting the wall. I threw up a little in my mouth, and swallowed the acidic bile, unwilling to vomit in front of Min or Lan. I felt a deep sense of shame, embarrassment and queasy disgust. Quietly we turned and left the alley. I didn't think… I didn't think he'd just do it in front of us, I thought numbly. And I thought I could do it, when seeing the blood caused me to throw up! I am a fool. A hotheaded, ox-brained fool.
We had only gone two streets over from the alley when Min stopped and dragged me into another empty alley. Then Min looked fiercely at me, anger filling her voice. "You will listen to me when I call your name, next time, Rand al'Thor. I did not know that was going to happen, I thought you had gone mad already. You… She told me you can use 'that' but I did not know I would see it first hand so soon. You really are reckless." She gave a sigh. "When I saw the bloody line across his neck, I knew he would die soon."
I tried to explain, ashamed. "I am sorry, that was not the way to handle things. I shouldn't have let my emotions get the better of me, but in another Age this alley wasn't his end. I remembered all the heinous things he would have done, to the Two Rivers and the world. I know this the same way you knew it was his fated death. I felt this… certainty he had to die. It was strange."
"You shouldn't have done 'that' in the middle of a town! If the Whitecloaks saw you Rand... If anyone saw you…" Her face was twisted with worry.
I blanched. I really needed to stop going straight for channeling in public. "I was foolish and hotheaded and reckless. I risked your life and my own, and I am truly sorry for my foolish actions. I will try to act with more thought in the future," I apologized with as much sincerity as I could. Truly I was reckless. Light burn my foolish mind.
Min sniffed, but accepted my apology, and started chatting once more about Baerlon and strange things she had seen and seen, like a man marrying a cat. She had actually predicted it as a young girl to the humor of many, and it was only years later that the man, having gone more than a little round the bend after his wife died, held a public ceremony declaring the cat his dead wife and marrying it. It was a little stiff and awkward, but soon enough Min walked comfortably by my side. I tried to keep my thoughts light and free, and mostly succeeded.
We caught Perrin, waiting near the door. "I was thinking about coming to look for you, Rand. I could not find you." He looked at Min and how close we stood, frowning. "This is the young woman that's joining us, right?"
"Min Farshaw," she said with a smile, holding out a hand. "I was just showing Rand here Baerlon."
Perrin's frown deepened, and he turned to me. "I thought you told us not to—Nevermind. It doesn't matter now, just don't tell that to Mat. Nynaeve is here. She just met the Aes Sedai."
"How did she get here?" I wondered, "The ferry was sunk." I knew she would come but not how. Didn't care to remember, as the Wisdom was likely to be a thorn in my side, regardless of how I treated her so I felt no desire to kowtow or appease her. In fact, from what I read, I found her quite annoying. Vexing her would be a delight.
Perrin snorted. "You think a little thing like a sunken ferry could stop her? She rooted Hightower out—I don't know how he got back over the river, but she said he was hiding in his bedroom and didn't want to go near the river—anyway, she bullied him into finding a boat big enough for her and her horse and rowing her across. Himself. She only gave him time to find one of his haulers to work another set of oars."
I let out a huge laugh at the thought of Nynaeve bullying that man. "Light, there is no one like Nynaeve."
"She wants us back, Rand. She came after us. This is no joking matter." Perrin seemed honestly worried.
"Mistress Alys won't let her take us back. The Wisdom will simply have to join us, just like Min here," I said with absolute confidence. I won't let her, either.
"I don't think it will be that easy," muttered Perrin, as we continued onwards, Perrin leading us to the dining room we used last night. Mat and Egwene stood awkwardly by the door, Nynaeve and Moiraine staring cooly at each other from opposite ends of the table. It was silent as we three entered. I smiled.
"Hello, Nynaeve, it is wonderful to see you." I called out disingenuously, standing with the others around the door.
She snorted but said nothing, giving me an evil eye. I waved her off. "No need to speak, I know what you'd say. 'Wool-headed fool Rand al'Thor, shouldn't be off his mothers apron strings'," I said in a falsetto. Egwene looked at me as if I were mad, and Min tugged on my shirt.
"She's a part of this, she's coming with us. It would be best if you didn't antagonize her, Rand," Min advised under her breath.
"I know that, but she thinks me, thinks all of us children, when she's the most childish of us all. Maybe she makes me a bit angry," I confessed, muttering quietly to Min.
The room fell silent once more, as I took a seat next to Moiraine, rather than in the middle. I was Team Moiraine all the way, and I would not show even a hint of distrust in her. If she was to be my wife, then I would support her. Min sat gingerly next to me, casting glances at the Wisdom who glared at me, tugging her braid and grinding her teeth. And yet, Nynaeve did not speak. I was amazed. I truly thought I would have baited her out, and gotten the 'discussion' started.
Egwene decided it was safest to sit in the middle, which softened the Wisdom for a moment until Perrin sat opposite Min, and Mat slid in to his left, maintaining an equal distance from the Aes Sedai and the Wisdom. I finally noticed Lan, standing by the fireplace with his cloak seeming to blend in even with the flames. Thom Merillin, gleeman extraordinaire, finally entered five minutes later, taking a place by the door. Lucky old man did not have to sit in the bitter silence.
"Since everyone is here," Lan said, leaving the fireplace and filling one of the silver cups with wine, "perhaps you will finally take this." He proffered the cup to Nynaeve; she looked at it suspiciously. "There is no need to be afraid," he said patiently. "You saw the innkeeper bring the wine, and neither of us has had a chance to put anything in it. It is quite safe."
The Wisdom's mouth tightened angrily at the word afraid, but she took the cup with a murmured, "Thank you."
"I am interested," he said, "in how you found us."
"So am I." Moiraine leaned forward intently. "Perhaps you are willing to speak now that Egwene and the young men have been brought to you?"
Nynaeve sipped the wine before answering the Aes Sedai. "There was nowhere for you to go except Baerlon. To be safe, though, I followed your trail. You certainly cut back and forth enough. But then, I suppose you would not care to risk meeting decent people."
"You... followed our trail?" Lan said, truly surprised for the first time that I could remember. "I must be getting careless."
"You left very little trace, but I can track as well as any man in the Two Rivers, except perhaps Tam al'Thor." She hesitated, then added, "Until my father died, he took me hunting with him, and taught me what he would have taught the sons he never had." She looked at Lan challengingly, but he only nodded with approval. I had forgotten she was so good.
"If you can follow a trail I have tried to hide, he taught you well. Few can do that, even in the Borderlands."
Abruptly Nynaeve buried her face in her cup. My eyes widened. She was blushing. Nynaeve never showed herself even the least bit disconcerted. Angry, yes; outraged, often; but never out of countenance. But she was certainly red-cheeked now, and trying to hide in the wine. Ah, this must be where she first begins to fall in love with him, I thought, almost cooing at the idea. I would defend their relationship with all my might. If Lan was willing to take on Nynaeve and tame her, more power to him. Just keep her out of my way.
"Perhaps now," Moiraine said quietly, "you will answer a few of my questions. I have answered yours freely enough."
"With a great sackful of gleeman's tales," Nynaeve retorted. "The only facts I can see are that four young people have been carried off, for the Light alone knows what reason, by an Aes Sedai."
"You have been told that isn't known here," Lan said sharply. "You must learn to guard your tongue."
"Why should I?" Nynaeve demanded. "Why should I help hide you, or what you are? I've come to take Egwene and the boys back to Emond's Field, not help you spirit them away."
Thom broke in, in a scornful voice. "If you want them to see their village again—or you, either—you had better be more careful. There are those in Baerlon who would kill her"—he jerked his head toward Moiraine—"for what she is. Him, too." He indicated Lan, then abruptly moved forward to put his fists on the table. He loomed over Nynaeve, and his long mustaches and thick eyebrows suddenly seemed threatening.
Her eyes widened, and she started to lean back, away from him; then her back stiffened defiantly. Thom did not appear to notice; he went right on in an ominously soft voice. "They'd swarm over this inn like murderous ants on a rumor, a whisper. Their hate is that strong, their desire to kill or take any like these two. And the girl? The boys? You? You are all associated with them, enough for the Whitecloaks, anyway. You wouldn't like the way they ask questions, especially when the White Tower is involved. Whitecloak Questioners assume you're guilty before they start, and they have only one sentence for that kind of guilt. They don't care about finding the truth; they think they know that already. All they go after with their hot irons and pincers is a confession. Best you remember some secrets are too dangerous for saying aloud, even when you think you know who hears." He straightened with a muttered, "I seem to tell that to people often of late."
"Well put, gleeman," Lan said. The Warder had that weighing look in his eyes again. "I'm surprised to find you so concerned."
Thom shrugged. "It's known I arrived with you, too. I don't care for the thought of a Questioner with a hot iron telling me to repent my sins and walk in the Light."
"That," Nynaeve put in sharply, "is just one more reason for them to come home with me in the morning. Or this afternoon, for that matter. The sooner we're away from you and on our way back to Emond's Field, the better."
"We can't," I said, as did Perrin, Mat and even Egwene. That way Nynaeve's glare had to be spread around; she spared no one as it was. But I had spoken first, and they all fell silent, looking at me. Even Moiraine sat back in her chair, watching me over steepled fingers.
"You know what I did. Everyone in this room knows what I did to save Emond's Field. That is the reason I cannot go back. Egwene has her own reasons for not going back, she is going to train in the Tower to be one of them. Mistress al'Vere knew and approved. As for Mat and Perrin, we three of ta'veren, and the Dark One is seeking us out to capture or kill us. If we stay in Emond's Field, shadowspawn will pour into the Two Rivers enough to drown us. The only way is forward, with Mistress Alys guiding us. She knows more, knows better, and is equipped to handle shadowspawn, unlike anyone else but me. Egwene won't be ready for months if not years. And I'm not trained, I'm unreliable."
People flinched at each oblique mention of channeling, even Egwene. Nynaeve was worst, her eyes wide, fear obvious in them before coming under control. Only Lan and Moiraine stayed calm.
Nynaeve threw up her hands. "You sound just like Tam. He went to the village meeting and tried to convince everybody. He'd already tried with the Village Council. The Light knows how your... Mistress Alys,"—she invested the name with a wagonload of scorn—"managed to make him believe; he has a mite of sense, usually, more than most men, than to send his only son off to die, with his friends to accompany him." I clenched my fists but said nothing, staring daggers at Nynaeve. "In any case, the Council is a pack of fools most of the time, but not foolish enough for that, and neither was anyone else. They agreed you had to be found."
Mat cleared his throat then mumbled. "What about my da? What did he say?"
"He's afraid you'll try your tricks with outlanders and get your head thumped. He seemed more afraid of that than of… Mistress Alys, here. But then, he was never much brighter than you."
Mat seemed unsure how to take what she had said, or how to reply, or even whether to reply. Nynaeve is going for brutality today.
"I expect," Perrin began hesitantly. "I mean, I suppose Master Luhhan was not too pleased about my leaving, either."
"Did you expect him to be?" Nynaeve shook her head disgustedly and looked at Egwene. "Maybe I should not be surprised at this harebrained idiocy from you three, but I thought others had more judgment."
Moiraine spoke up then. "Mistress al'Vere said she could come with me. She has no need for your tirade, Wisdom. You will desist with Egwene." Nynaeve's face darkened.
I sighed. The Wisdom was on the point of one of her tongue-lashings, and it looked as if it might be a first-rate one. If she took a position in the heat of anger—if she said she intended to see them back in Emond's Field no matter what anybody said, for instance—she would be nearly impossible to budge. She was stubborn, that way. Childish. I opened my mouth.
"No need!" Nynaeve began, just as Moiraine said, "You and I must still talk, Wisdom."
I could not stop myself. "All this is very well, but it doesn't change anything. We can't go back. We have to go on. You can claim you'll take us back, but you never will, Nynaeve. I won't go back, even if everyone else does."
The sneer made her face ugly. "Of course you won't go back. No one would want you back, anyway. Your own father claimed it better you gone, than in the Two Rivers," she said with malice and forethought, and it hurt, but not enough. Nynaeve frowned at my calm demeanor, not seeing my white knuckles.
"Wisdom," Moiraine said, "Are you going to continue insulting the young men you came to 'rescue', or are we going to discuss this like rational adults? You must believe they are safer with me, than they would be back in the Two Rivers."
"Safer!" Nynaeve tossed her head dismissively. "You are the one who brought them here, where the Whitecloaks are. The same Whitecloaks who, if the gleeman tells the truth, may harm them because of you. Tell me how they are safer, Aes Sedai."
"There are many dangers from which I cannot protect them," Moiraine agreed, "any more than you can protect them from being struck by lightning if they go home. But it is not lightning of which they must be afraid, nor even Whitecloaks. It is the Dark One, and minions of the Dark One. From those things I can protect. Touching the True Source, touching saidar, gives me that protection, as it does to every Aes Sedai." Nynaeve's mouth tightened skeptically. Moiraine's grew tighter, too, with anger, but she went on, her voice hard on the edge of patience. "Even those poor men who find themselves wielding the Power for a short time gain that much, though sometimes touching saidin protects, and sometimes the taint makes them more vulnerable. But I, or any Aes Sedai, can extend my protection to those close by me. No Fade can harm them as long as they are as close to me as they are right now. No Trolloc can come within a quarter of a mile without Lan knowing it, feeling the evil of it. Can you offer them half as much if they return to Emond's Field with you?"
"You stand up straw men," Nynaeve said. "We have a saying in the Two Rivers. 'Whether the bear beats the wolf or the wolf beats the bear, the rabbit always loses.' Take your contest somewhere else and leave Emond's Field folk out of it."
"Egwene," Moiraine said after a moment, "take the others and leave the Wisdom alone with me for a while." Her face was impassive; Nynaeve squared herself at the table as if getting ready for an all-in wrestling match.
Egwene bounced to her feet, her desire to be dignified obviously warring with her desire to avoid a confrontation with the Wisdom. She had no difficulty gathering up everyone by eye, though. Mat and Perrin scraped back their chairs hurriedly, making polite murmurs while trying not to actually run on their way out. Even Lan started for the door at a signal from Moiraine, drawing Thom with him.
Min shivered behind me as we left. "Hardheaded, like old knots of wood, you Two Rivers folk are," she whispered.
"Stubborn as an old tree root," I added, and she stifled a laugh in the silence. Egwene eyed us with curiosity, and no little animosity, walking over with a look of mischief in her eye.
"So this is the girl that will join us. You dress so strangely, but it suits you, I believe. Looking strange, that is." She said with faux-politeness.
"I dress how I like to dress," Min said simply, gritting her teeth a bit.
"And why did you happen to enter the room with Rand?" Egwene asked, voice a little tight now, fists on hips.
"Okay, okay. Lets hold up a second." I said, putting a hand in front of Egwene. "Min accompanied me out into Baerlon on Moiraine Sedai's orders. This is not some girl trying to steal a dance away from me on a feast day. It's simply business, and honestly, it is not yours."
Her face soured. "And letting her watch you train, and bring you water was 'simply business'? I thought we…" She trailed off, unwilling to finish the sentence, and looked away.
"I don't know why you think that. You unbraided your hair, declaring yourself no longer a woman of the Two Rivers." I said in reply. "You chose to be an Aes Sedai. They don't marry, usually. I told you we aren't fated for each other, that you will bond and love another. I told you that the second day of my new life. And if a pretty woman wants to watch me flail around, embarrassing myself, I know better than to say no." My voice was a little sharp, annoyed at the sudden pettiness from Egwene, so I acted petty myself. I thought we had had an understanding.
Egwene turned bright red. "If that is how you feel," she managed to bite out, and turned to leave, stalking off and muttering, following in the direction of Perrin and Mat, who had made themselves scarce the moment Egwene approached us.
"Light, I thought she understood. Sorry, Min. I did not think she would get jealous like that." Stupid fool, I thought to myself.
"That… that truly was not the best way to approach that Rand. You have to be more careful with your words," Min finally said, looking as if she bit into a sour plum. "I… I'm not sure you want to hear this now, Rand, but I saw her, you know, as one of the Five sometimes." Her words became surer, more of a lecture. "They change, never stay the same, but for Moiraine and I, flickering between seven different women. She could have been that one, and so could Nynaeve. Now they both aren't. Now it is someone else I don't know again. Now both are fated for other men. Maybe you should learn some tact, before you ruin it with another woman."
Her words struck me repeatedly like a hammer blow, and I shook silently. Was it really so simple, I could have had Egwene and now she's lost to me, forever? All over some petty words carelessly spoken? All because I thought this world was fundamentally the same as the books I read, and she annoyed me by caring about me enough to be jealous? Light burn me, I need to do better. I need to do a lot better. I need to stop acting like a bull-headed idiot. I had made too many mistakes today. Almost killing Fain and antagonizing Mat, Nynaeve, and Egwene. After a long minute, I pushed the feelings aside, and Egwene was already gone. It did not matter now. I could only do better in the future, I told myself to make it feel better.
My voice was thick when I spoke. "I should gather my things. We'll be leaving soon, I imagine."
"Rand, I did not say those things to hurt you." Min said carefully, looking worried, cautious. Is she worried I will be angry at her? Burn me. What a horrible first impression I've made with Min.
"I know, Min." I made to leave, and she did not follow. I turned, confused, and now more than a little worried. "Are you not coming?" I asked. I did not really wish to be alone with my thoughts right now.
A look of realization came over Min, brightening her eyes, and a beautiful smile crossed her face. "Lead the way, sheepherder. Lets see what hole in the wall Master Fitch stuck you in."
