Snyderverse Neptunia Snippets
by Derald Snyder
Snippet 65- Iris' Urgent Matter
Timeline- About a week after 'The Robotic Turnabout'.
It was another typical morning at South Lowee University, several students at their lockers getting ready for the day's classes. However, a certain person walking through the hallways drew many of their attention, mostly due to the fact that she wore red and blue metallic armor. This was Cain Combat Robot Prototype no. 002, more commonly known as Iris, who was currently enjoying several restrictions on her movement having been somewhat relaxed. Said restrictions had been imposed by her creator, Professor Jonathan 'Jack' Cain, out of an abundance of caution after the incident at the Lowee Grand Expo, where the mad roboticist Albert Williams had attempted to kidnap and reprogram her. But now the tests of her brain were complete, Professor Cain mostly assured that no nasty subroutines had been left behind by Williams.
As she made her way through the halls, she could hear a few students whispering about her, but paid them no mind. The professor had warned her this would happen, after all... a yelp of pain grabbed her attention, turning her head to see a young man having his ear grabbed by what she assumed to be his girlfriend, the former likely having made an inappropriate comment about the robot's cute face. (62.7% chance they break up within the week,) she mused to herself, ignoring them and moving on.
A short while later, Iris came upon another student, who appeared to be quite distraught... he had messy light brown hair which covered one of his blue eyes, and he wore a yellow vest over his school uniform. Iris promptly walked up to the boy, asking, "Excuse me, you appear to be in distress. Can I help you?"
"Wha... oh, wait, I know you," the student responded, nonplussed. "You're that one professor's pet project... the so-called self-thinking robot." He crossed his arms with disdain. "And no, you can't help me."
"Why not?" Iris inquired.
"Because a machine knows nothing about human families, that's why," the young man snapped back.
"...Sadly, you are correct," Iris frowned. "The only point of reference I have is my own relationship with my creator, Professor Cain, and his father. They do appear to care about each other deeply, from what I can observe..."
"Wish my dad cared as much," the student looked away into nowhere.
"...What makes you believe that he does not?" Iris decided to ask.
"Because he spends all his time locked up in that lab of his!" the student yelled with a flourish of his arms. "I haven't seen him in weeks!"
"He has not emerged from his lab in several weeks?" Iris reiterated. "Not even for sustenance?!"
"Oh, I'm sure he has, but I've never seen him!" the young man snorted sarcastically.
"Hmm..." Iris lowered her head in thought. "You assume that he has left the lab for sustenance, but you have no evidence of such..." Her head suddenly jerked back up, as if realizing something. "69.4% probability that your father has not emerged at all, which means... his life may be in danger! This is an urgent matter that requires immediate attention!" With that, she activated the thrusters in her boots, dashing off through the hallway...
"Wh- HEY! That's not what I meant, you stupid machine!" the student protested, beginning to give chase. "Get back here...!"
*A few minutes later...*
(BAM BAM BAM) "Professor!" (BAM BAM BAM) "Professor, if you are still alive, please answer me!" Iris shouted. Suddenly the metal door slid open, the android stepping back as a middle-aged man in a lab coat emerged. He had brown eyes and hair which was trimmed on the sides but unkempt on top, along with a mustache and similarly trimmed beard. He also seemed to wear a sleek purple bodysuit underneath his lab coat. "Oh, there you are! Thank goodness you appear to be still in good health!"
"What is the meaning of this?!" The scientist demanded. "Why are you making such a racket?! Who said I was not in good health?!"
"Your son," Iris replied succinctly. "Oh, here he comes now."
"Wait...!" The student gasped as he finally caught up, slowing to a halt and hunching over with his hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath. "Stupid... machine...!"
"Arven? What exactly is the meaning of this?" the professor inquired.
"It's not... what you think..." Arven grunted as he managed to stand straight, still panting for breath. "I told this robot... that I hadn't seen you... in weeks, and she... completely misinterpreted... my sarcasm...!"
"You were being sarcastic?" Iris turned to him briefly, then turning back to the professor, her pupils shrinking to pinpricks. "Oh no! I have committed a grave error!" She promptly kneeled and bowed down, her beret touching the floor. "Please forgive me, Professor Turo! I mistakenly believed your life to be in danger, and interrupted your work for no good reason!"
"Oh, for..." Turo briefly facepalmed. "All right, stop your groveling, I accept your apology! Now please get up." Iris promptly stood to her feet, though her head remained bowed in shame. "Now, you were right about one thing, I haven't seen my son in quite a while... I know he can take care of himself, but that's no excuse for my negligence..."
"Dang straight it's not!" Arven concurred. "You'd think you could at least make time for us to have lunch together, but...!"
"Stop," Turo raised a hand, Arven immediately falling silent. "...You've gotten your point across. Now then..." He pulled out his mobile device to check the time. "It's a little early, but now that I'm out, maybe we can have lunch right now?"
"Huh...?" Arven blinked in surprise. "Wait, you mean it?!"
"No time like the present, right son?" Turo smiled. "Besides, when's the last time I had one of your knockout sandwiches? I'll bet they're even better than they were before, what with you taking a humanities course..."
Arven looked conflicted for a moment. "Well, actually... I did make some sandwiches for the two of us... But they're both the same kind, 'cause I figured the second one would be going into the fridge again..."
"That's quite all right. Just as long as it's not too spicy," Turo assured him.
"No, no, it's just your bog-standard cold-cut combo," Arven shook his head. "Uh, just gimme a minute to get 'em out of my fridge in my dorm, and wait for me in the cafeteria, okay Dad?"
"I can do that," Turo said as he stepped fully out of the lab, letting the door slide shut behind him. "Ah, what was your name again, robot?"
"My common designation is Iris, professor," the robot replied.
"Right. Well then, Iris, you may return to your creator now. I think my son and I can take things from here."
"Understood, Professor Turo," Iris bowed from the waist. "You and Arven have a good lunch together. Goodbye for now." With that, she turned and went on her way...
*Professor Cain's Office*
"Oh, Iris, there you are," Jack Cain greeted as Iris walked in. "I was just about to try calling you..."
"Oh, did I make you worry, Professor?" Iris asked.
"No, but I did just get a text from my colleague Professor Turo," Cain held up his phone briefly. "He said, and I quote: 'Jack, please remind your robot that it is impolite to intervene in personal family affairs,' end quote."
"Oh. Well, I suppose I did do that, from a certain point of view," Iris admitted. "Are my restrictions to be reimposed?"
"You're jumping the gun, Iris," Cain sighed. "Why don't you tell me exactly what happened from your perspective first?"
"Understood," Iris nodded, before recounting her encounter with Arven and subsequent actions.
"...I see. So you say you misinterpreted Arven's sarcasm and concluded Turo's life was in danger?"
"Yes, though I was clearly mistaken in hindsight," Iris acknowledged. "I did apologize to Professor Turo for the misunderstanding, however."
"Well, good for you," Jack nodded. "But I'm sure you know the phrase, 'the road to hell is paved with good intentions'. That situation could have easily blown up into a major argument under different circumstances; you're fortunate that things managed to work out. But next time you encounter a situation like that, you should consult with a staff member about the correct course of action to take, understand?"
"Yes, Professor. I will do so next time," Iris agreed. "So am I to be restricted?"
"...I think we'll just confine you to quarters for the rest of the day, to make sure the lesson sinks in," Cain sighed. Just then, his phone rang... "Whoops, hold on." He checked the caller ID before answering. "Hey old man, what's up? ...uh-huh... really? That's interesting... Wait, he wants me to come down there?! ... Sure, shouldn't be a problem. ...yeah, she's here right now. ...Okay then, what time? I can leave now if you want... okay, I'll be right over to pick you up. Yeah, you too. See you soon." Hanging up, he returned his attention to Iris. "That was my old man, he was just contacted by one of his archeologist friends who's still working in the field..."
"Does your father's friend require your expertise?" Iris deduced.
"Pretty much. And Dad says I should bring you along just in case. So your punishment's deferred for now," Cain stated. "But you need to stay close to me, and not wander off by yourself when we get there, okay?"
"Understood. I will go into standby mode while you prepare for departure." With that, Iris' chin rested on her collarbone, looking almost like she had fallen asleep standing up.
"...It's not gonna take me that long to get ready," Jack sighed and shook his head, before starting to get his things together...
*Snippet 65- End*
A/N: Hmm, I wonder what James Cain's colleague has dug up... guess we'll find out next snippet. ;-)
