Chapter Eight
"He finally asked you. Finally! And he spent more time on the periodic table gimmick than giving you a time and place?"
"Good morning, Nat." Dine's kind of proud of her cool, not at all extremely-excited-by-the-implications tone.
"And you!" Natasha gets up from the desk with the kind of feline grace most women will never manage. "He says you've liked him for a while. Even getting that out of him was like pulling teeth."
"It's worse," she smiles. "I told him I love him."
Nat just glares. "Okay, I was trying to figure out which out of the two of you needs the most slapping around, but I think it's a tie." She shifts her tone to one that's more cheerful. "Do you want me to suggest something fancy to Steve?"
Dine shakes her head.
"Good." Natasha starts for the door, stops, and turns around. "Sam and I are going to plan a send-off for Rogers. Tony's idea. You two are invited, but…"
"It's not about us. I get it." Steve had clearly talked to Tony, and it must have gone well if Tony's put his ego in check enough to let someone else plan the party. She nods, pleased, and with that, Natasha's out of the room. Dine does her best to get on with her job for the rest of the day, but a steady undercurrent of excitement keeps her deliciously on edge.
oOoOoOo
The brief message had said-
Will you do me the honor of meeting me out front at 6:30 this evening? Natasha says to tell you 'business casual, no suit.' ~Steve
-so she puts on something elegant and flowy. It's a lovely evening with a slight breeze, and it's 6:28 when she steps outside. Almost immediately, a car starts up in the parking lot. It pulls up three feet away, and Steve gets out and comes over.
"You look great," he says, holding out a hand. All she can do is blink at him for a second, speechless at how good he looks in his crisp blue button-down and ironed khakis. She has a sneaking suspicion he shined his shoes, and there are wet comb marks in his freshly-washed hair. "'Dine?" he prompts.
"I wasn't saying all of those complimentary things I'm thinking out loud, was I?" she teases. Steve shakes his head, amused, so she adds, "You look handsome as heck, we'll go with that."
His bashful smile is appreciative, but he nods down at his hand.
"Shoot, sorry-" Dine says, clapping her hand down on his. She's expecting him to maybe guide her to the car, but after a second of surprise, Steve shifts his grip and bends down to kiss the back of it. "Oh god, I flubbed that," she breathes, embarrassed.
"Not at all," he promises, letting go to jog to the car to open the door. "You didn't expect me to do that, which made it more special."
"In that spirit-" She arches up to kiss his cheek before getting into the car.
Once they're buckled in, Steve glances at her briefly as he pulls out of the parking lot. "I hope you don't mind, it'll be a bit of a drive. When we go to the little town nearby, the staff get stressed out. Sometimes a patron will post on social media, and they get a bunch of customers who post bad reviews if we're gone already, that kind of thing."
"Oh wow, I didn't know that."
"Yeah, we like to do the takeout thing, so they don't miss out on our business." He shoots a look over. "Natasha says you should go out more."
"You don't go out either," she points out. "I think I've only seen you dressed up for interviews or one of Tony's fancy parties."
"That's part of the fun though, isn't it? The longer you're with someone, the longer you know them, the more you fill in all the different outfits."
Dine's struck by the lovely simplicity of that, and without anything to add, she just lets herself watch Steve handle the traffic as they merge onto the interstate. There's a small splotch of red on his cheeks. She'd like to think it's because he said 'with someone' before actually defining the parameters of the relationship.
The restaurant is perfect, a little Italian place with delicious food and high separators between the tables, so the candle-lit table feels private and cozy. They talk mostly about the movies he's been watching, but when he sees her stiffen a little after he brings up a love declaration in one of them, his expression sobers.
"I wanted to tell you- I know you said you were doing everything backwards, and I don't want you to think that I'm ignoring what you said. It means the world to me," Steve says, looking her straight in the eyes. There's something powerful about how he says 'means' instead of 'meant,' like to him the words are active, vital. He isn't leaving them in the past. "The thing is, I don't think I-"
He breaks off and takes a big drink of his water glass, and she holds herself as steady as possible without trying to look like her happiness rests on his next words. Dine reminds herself of the video footage of him carrying her back to her quarters. His adoring look had happened before her confession of love, and it was real. It was this Steve.
"How do you tell a woman that you love her before you even have a first date? I wanted to. I feel it, but I have to do this right."
It's like the truth of his heart is dancing with her in a crowded Regency ballroom, thrillingly close but not enough to risk a scandal. She doesn't think Steve Rogers has watched many period dramas, so explaining that would probably fall flat. She decides to go with something else.
"Well, this is just like the clothes thing, right? We fill in those feelings, those first times, as we go."
His relief is endearing. "Yes. Yes." Steve reaches out to take her hand, squeezing it a little too tightly, which just makes the moment more perfect.
On the drive back, she remembers the thing she'd wanted to bring up at dinner. It's dark out, and maybe that's better than bringing up Gold Steve where he can see her expression across the table and make assumptions.
"I've been meaning to ask you if you could do me a favor? About Rogers."
"What do you need?"
"I want to save his life, Steve. I want to have a hand in making that possible- but I was thinking about what it might feel like for him if he figures out that armor is altered before it's useful." Dine knows she's getting emotional, but she tells herself this is a mission, one too important to be derailed. With a harsh swallow against a suddenly sore throat, she continues; "If it doesn't work, I'll be the last Dine he spends time with, and I'll have deceived him."
Claudine's so caught up in trying to fight back the image of Gold Steve's betrayed expression that she doesn't realize that the car is stopped.
"Hey, c'mere," Steve says, leaning over to pull her into his warm, sturdy arms for a hug. "I'll do what you're asking because it's important to you, but I'd like to think I'd understand and forgive you, if it were me."
She's in tears. "It is you, Steve! He's another you. I'm sending a you to maybe die, and I hate it, I hate it! I can't even give him hope in case he decides not to wear the armor- and I'm crying on you again! Do not let me mess up your shirt, Steve Rogers!"
"You're really making it hard for me not to say it, sweetheart," Steve says, pulling back to steal a kiss. Dine can tell that he'd meant it to be brief, but as soon as their lips touch, her hands grasp his shirt in delight, keeping him in place. Steve likes that, enough to deepen the kiss for a few seconds before he makes a little growling sound and drags himself away.
He shakes his hands out over the dash like he's shedding excess energy (which she gets, she really gets, because she'll be energized until the end of time on 'sweetheart' alone), sets them on the steering wheel, and puts the car back into gear. As Steve navigates back onto the road he says, "You're saying you don't want to run point, yes? That knowing some of the plan is as far as you'd like to go?"
"Yes, exactly. It's just enough plausible deniability if I don't know what exactly Tony changes- Oh, but I shouldn't even know abou-"
"'Dine, you're worrying too much," Steve interrupts. "All we can do is our best. Your best is in service of saving his life. If he loves you, and I think he does, he'll appreciate that."
The pieces of her guilt-shattered heart melt back together on hearing that, and she sniffles defensively. "I'm counting that, you know."
The light turns green, but Steve looks over and doesn't start driving until she meets his eyes. "Good."
He suggests looking in the glove compartment for tissues, and she finds some. As Dine cleans herself up, Steve puts on some jazz, and they fall into a companionable silence for the rest of the drive. It wouldn't help to bring it up, but she thinks Steve's glad he's found a way around his own prohibition on admitting his feelings.
In a way, it's kind of a lesson about her own dilemma about Gold Steve. The more she thinks about it, the more proud she is- Captain America is an icon, standing for truth, moral certitude, and strength, but he's smart, too. That gets overlooked by the public at large, and she's glad she's privileged enough to know it.
oOoOoOo
It's three more days before Tony's finished with his parts of their plan, which she finds out about because he petulantly stomps in to grab breakfast on the morning of the third day, Pepper at his heels.
"I'm not allowed to celebrate being a complete overlooked genius because my stomach growls too loudly," he grumbles, slamming down a gallon of milk beside a bowl and spoon. "I'm having Captain Crunch PEANUT BUTTER. See if you like how that tastes in bed later."
"You're more than welcome to celebrate alone," Pepper says mildly.
Dine's finished eating, so she gets up to excuse herself as quickly as possible, catching Steve's eye as she slips through the door. He nods; they're on the same wavelength.
According to FRIDAY, Gold Steve is in the Bumble. To her horror, Tony's AI helpfully adds that he has been for eighteen hours. She knows there's a bathroom and a supply of energy-replenishing foods, but she can't help but think he's hiding from her in particular.
With that in mind, Dine's actually surprised when the door opens right away- but then she remembers FRIDAY's 'interpersonal protocol.' She slips off her shoes to cover the sound of her footfalls, and on a hunch, she goes looking for the side room with the punching bags. Sure enough, Gold Steve is sitting up against the wall reading a book, his legs stretched out in front of him on a bedroll.
Impulsively, she dashes into the room, positioning herself over his legs. Gold Steve is startled, and it's awkward and uncomfortable, but he can't get up without pushing her out of the way. That means he's going to have to listen.
"'Dine," he starts, but she's on a mission.
"Why the hell are you hiding in here? What are you living on, protein bars? It's been days!"
"Please don't take this the wrong way, but I don't think I've gotten to spend this much time to myself since the serum. It's been a gift."
"You shouldn't have to contemplate your death during that time," Dine shoots back, but her anger has lost its bite.
"I don't know. It would be a shame to waste that privilege. Not many people have that," he says- and an awful understanding strikes her. Gold Steve has gone through the stages of grief, all of them, but she hasn't. She's still stuck on anger.
Instead of just collapsing onto her knees and screaming, she searches her mind for something, anything to explain to him that his loss means something. Claudine comes up with something, but it'll probably hurt him, which is the last thing she wants to do.
The anger takes over anyway.
"Maybe I could go to your universe?" In the back of her mind, she knows this is the worst possible thing to suggest, but the words tumble out in a rush. "Your Tony could send me back early, so one of me can go with you. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if you didn't have to do it alone? You don't deserve to do it alone!"
Gold Steve scrambles to his feet, frantic horror in his eyes.
"Promise me. Promise me you will not do that." He looks down at both of his hands, as if lamenting that he only has his strength to fight with, something he'd never use against her. "If I let you do that, I wouldn't deserve to love you."
It's so close to the words her Steve said that Dine feels all the fury drain away, and with it, her ability to stand. She ends up in a heap on his bedroll, and Steve kneels beside her, hands held near but touching. It's not his place to comfort her, and they both know that.
It's only his place to hurt her, no matter how much he wishes differently.
"There's a party for you tonight."
"I know."
"I can stay away. I can-"
"Please don't."
Dine reaches out and squeezes his hand, crossing an unspoken boundary. He doesn't return the gesture, but his thumb swipes a brief caress before holding still.
"I don't want you to remember me like this," she whimpers, swiping at her tears with a sleeve. "I think you're the best man to ever live. You need to know that." Her one comfort is that if the plan succeeds, his Brigandine's life will be saved, and the two of them might have the chance to be happy. God, she hopes it'll work. "That's why I'm not trying to make you stay. I couldn't do that to you. But please, Steve. Please understand that if there was any way this situation could be different-"
Gold Steve's voice is gentle, kind, and sad, but he doesn't pull away, and neither does she. "I understand."
oOoOoOo
Dine dresses to stun for the party. She's planning to show up late, drink a toast to Gold Steve, give him a kiss on the cheek, and get the hell out of there. He deserves a last glimpse of her glowing, happy, and smiling, but twenty minutes is just about all she has to give. Anything more and she's afraid she'll break in a hundred irreparable ways.
Right when she arrives, she sees that Gold Steve is standing in front of a table covered in small gifts and one of those ridiculous backpacks they make for school kids, the kind that is basically just one big sequin-covered Captain America shield with shoulder straps.
As she walks over, Tony gives Gold Steve a wrapped gift. "This is my last attempt to bribe you into telling me more about this calamity you're trying to fix," he jokes.
"What would your father say about you trying to change history, Tony?" Gold Steve teases as he opens the package.
She can't hear what the response is, too distracted by the gift- it looks like the alcohol Tony had planned to buy with the $50 from the name bet. There's no way Steve doesn't see the symbolism in that, and to do it in front of other people… it's just shy of a public declaration.
She has to walk over to the window to collect herself; Gold Steve deserves better than runny mascara and smudged lipstick as a 'last look.' It's already been agreed that he'll leave first thing in the morning, with only Steve, Sam, and Tony in attendance. Dine's just about mastered her emotions when she hears Tony calling out her name.
"I wrapped up your thing for you, come hand it over!"
Claudine pastes on as genuine a smile as she can and turns around. Tony's holding out a package, mouthing the word 'armor.' She wants to yell at him- it wasn't supposed to be her that gives it to Gold Steve, but Tony has neatly maneuvered her into getting the credit. That in itself is unusual enough that any resistance on her part would give away the game.
"Tony's the one who fixed it," she says reluctantly, when she gets over to the table. Gold Steve's appreciative reaction to her outfit is good for her ego, at least.
"I don't think this is going to fit in here," he jokes, holding the package up against the backpack.
"You're supposed to wear it," Steve says, coming over to stand behind her. He's just a little closer than maybe he ought to be, and it's exactly right- both a claim and a pillar of support.
"Oh!" Gold Steve holds the armor up when he gets the package open. As soon as she sees it, Dine realizes that Tony and Steve must have conspired behind her back to give her this moment as a gift of sorts.
The armor looks completely unaltered, despite the tech she knows Tony's hidden in there. She won't spend months tossing and turning in her sleep agonizing about Gold Steve figuring out their Hail Mary pass. Behind her, Steve leans closer, instinctively knowing how shaken she is and offering his solid warmth as support.
Oblivious to the drama going on in front of him, Gold Steve holds the mass of engineering and fabric up to his chest. "You didn't have to do this."
"Yes I did," Dine tells him.
oOoOoOo
She can't sleep that night, but there will be no nocturnal wandering tonight. Steve had persuaded Gold Steve to sleep in his quarters instead of on the bedroll, and her concession to that is to promise she'll stay in her room.
There's a small part of her that wonders if this prohibition is because Gold Steve wouldn't want to sleep if there was a chance she'd knock on his door one last time. The other option was Gold Steve finding it too painful to picture a version of himself meeting up with the last Claudine he expected to share a universe with.
oOoOoOo
She skips breakfast so she can get to her desk early. Her one concession to what's happening in Tony's lab right now is to ask FRIDAY to hide all of the clocks, even the ones on the computer. The last time Steve and Gold Steve were out on a mission, she'd been deep in Howard Stark's notes. For history's sake, she opens up the main file, scanning through to see if there's something she hasn't read yet. There isn't, of course, but it doesn't hurt to-
Dine's breath catches.
There's a new file, but she's so surprised to see it she scrolls past at first. When she goes back, she isn't sure where exactly to search, despite being certain she'd seen a brand new entry. The date notation had been so different from the others in there that…
"FRIDAY, can you sort these by date?"
As soon as the files shuffle up, she scrolls all the way down, and there it is. The 'last edited' date on the file is from the night before.
With her heart in her throat and suspicion replacing some of her blood volume, Claudine opens the file. It's written like a diary entry, talking about a time when Howard ran into a strange scientist at the research installation installed in Camp Lehigh. The narrative is unexpectedly exciting; two strange men had been seen, and Stark speaks about some missing materials at Dr. Pym's lab that seemed to miraculously reappear later in the day.
It's 'miraculously reappear' that has her scrolling to the bottom of the entry to see an additional note.
It's signed by 'Gold Steve.'
She shivers, staring at the words, at the apology right before his signature.
I would never be able to forgive myself, nor could I die with a clear conscience, if I didn't tell you how to prevent the same disaster from happening here.
"FRIDAY what time is it?" Dine gasps out.
"It is 8:15 AM."
She throws herself out of the chair to sprint to the door. It's the fastest she's ever run in her life, but FRIDAY's like the very best wingman, opening the elevator doors so she doesn't even have to slow down.
After the most painful ten second wait of her life, the doors open into Stark's lab and Dine skids out, startling the ring of men facing a glowing blue column. Between them is the fading image of Gold Steve, and all she can do is mouth the words 'thank you' and blow him a kiss as he dematerializes.
"Okay, not to fuck up a phenomenal last-minute goodbye, but if you were hoping to hop in there with him, I'm going to have to design some sort of detention anklet for you," Tony says sternly.
"He told us how to avoid it! The thing that killed everyone. He left it in your father's diary. In the notes!" she blurts out between desperate gulps of air. Steve's already there, pulling her close, stroking her back, kissing her hair. She knows exactly what he's doing, because a different Steve Rogers had once kissed her fears away in exactly that way before. The thought makes Dine cling to him more tightly.
"Son of a bitch," Tony says admiringly. "That's what he meant, last night!"
"Language!" Steve objects loudly, as Sam doubles over in laughter.
Their resident unappreciated genius is already typing away at a keyboard with one hand, the other gesturing multiple files onto a transparent projection hovering in front of him.
The End
Epilogue
It's probably the hottest day of the summer, but for once, it's not storming. Dine secretly wonders if Tony's got some kind of weather-altering machine that he's employed to make this party of his a success. She's wearing a black polka-dot vintage swimsuit under her electric blue sundress, and she's very much hoping her loving boyfriend Steve Rogers will appreciate the embroidered Captain America shields she had sewn onto the shoulder straps. The only reason she's not standing next to him is because he's over near the grill in the sun, and Dine loves him, but maybe not that much.
The drinks are already flowing under the tent Tony's had erected poolside, but as she grabs an ice cube to press against her pulse points, a new car drives up to park in the private lot Tony has rented for the occasion. Since everyone that can be at the party is at the party, this is a confusing development.
As soon as the sole occupant starts walking toward the pavilion with a puppy on a leash, Tony's strolls over, tipsy and in rare form. "Carl, please don't tell me this is your new baby! I think I would have remembered if your wife was a dog."
There's a murmur of shocked, amused voices, but Carl grins as he stops in front of the eccentric billionaire. "New baby is at home and doing just fine. I'm just a delivery boy today." He leans down and picks up the puppy. It's wearing an adorable miniature backpack that looks a lot like the one Sam and Nat had bought for Gold Steve's keepsakes. "This little guy appeared in our house a day ago. He's got a message, but it's a little confusing."
Dine is already rushing over, certain this has to do with Tony's interdimensional device. As soon as Carl sees her, he nods as if a grand mystery has been solved, and pushes the puppy into your arms. It immediately starts squirming and licking her face, so enthusiastic that she can't get ahold of the backpack.
"There's a note pinned-" someone says, but Steve's already there. He gently tugs the backpack off and holds it up.
For 'Stine'
"Is that a 'ship' name? Pepper, come look!" Tony crows. In a quieter voice, he says, "She'll never forgive me for letting slip the word 'Pepperony' in an interview. I was, of course, so hurt that she had to make it up to me. Repeatedly. Pepper?"
Tony runs off to find his girlfriend, leaving Claudine and Steve to look at each other, deeply shaken.
"You read that, and I'll take the puppy, okay?" Natasha says, not waiting for a response as she scoops the dog from her nerveless fingers.
Inside the backpack is a folded note. Steve crowds close, reaching out to steady and straighten the paper, since her hand is shaking so much. At the very bottom, she can see that it's signed 'Gold' Steve.
Dear Steve and Dine,
Obviously I can't tell you everything that happened, but I couldn't let you wonder, not after I realized what you'd done.
First of all: You saved my life. Thank you. I imagine it was hard to keep the armor's secret from me, but I have an idea of why you did it, and I don't think I would have done anything differently, if I'd been in your position.
Second of all: I suspect that Dine won't be able to rest until she knows what happened, so I'll tell you this much: Steve and I both went to the planet. We decided that the most fair thing to do would be to fight each other. We figured one of us would end up falling and the other would go home, but that's not what happened. We both fell. I woke up with the stone.
Steve, I understand now that I was asking you to bear a terrible weight of survival when I told you what I was planning. I only hope that you can come up with a way to prevent this calamity before it happens, so you don't have to feel like this. My only consolation is that I had every intention of dying if need be, and I will use the second chance I've been given to make the world a better place for everyone we've brought back.
I can't tell you much else, because everything's just happened, and I have some wooing to do, thanks to you two and Tony.
Love,
'Gold' Steve
Ps. 'my' Tony would like you to know that I rejected his, and I quote, 'perfectly good nickname: 'Brigandogers'' or 'Dodger' for short.
Sounds like a great name for a dog, no?
"It worked," Steve breathes. She nods, feeling numb. "Dine?"
"I didn't- I could have sent two armors. We could have waited and made-"
"Hey, no. Stop that. You can only do what you can do. You couldn't have known." He cups her face with his hands and forces her to look at him. "He's trusting you, and so am I. He didn't have to tell us. It's the truth, sweetheart. The unvarnished truth. Sometimes the truth hurts."
She rests both hands on his wrists and nod, fighting back tears. "I love you. That's the truth."
"I love you too," Steve says. She's lost count of how many times he's said it by now, but that's the point. They've moved on to filling in other things, other firsts, and thanks to Gold Steve, there's more time to do that. Thanks to Gold Steve, another 'first' might be defeating the villain that brought him to their universe in the first place.
"Tony says this puppy came from another universe?" Sam says, coming over with the enthusiastic little dog in his arms. "You gonna call it Goldie?"
"Dodger," Steve says confidently.
This story was an unexpectedly powerful labor of love, and I'm pleased to share it with you. Thanks for the encouragement and time spent with us!
