ALIENS!
Katsuki, wearing a tin hat and peering through binoculars, hid in some bushes and stared into the 1-A classroom. He had called in sick for a chance to discreetly spy on Deku.
"Frickin' tin can," Katsuki muttered, "I know you're plotting humanity's destruction."
"Slimy little vermin," the bushes next to Katsuki murmured, "The moment you let your guard down, I'll finally show the world your true identity."
"You won't integrate the future heroes into your mechanical hivemind on my watch."
"I know you'll call for the mothership any second…"
Abruptly, Bakugo and the muttering bushes became aware of each other. Katsuki primed his nitroglycerin sweat, while a lanky, pale-faced teen with a cowlick aimed a water pistol at him.
"Stay back! I know water's your greatest weakness!"
Katsuki snorted. "Tried that last year. Turns out it had a waterproof coating."
The teen's eyes widened as he lowered the pistol. "Wait, you know?"
Katsuki snorted. "Course I do. I saw it with my own eyes when I was five."
"That's incredible! The name's Dib. Have you been able to convince anyone else?"
"They all called me crazy, said it was that thing's Quirk," Katsuki said ruefully. "It seems just human enough to convince all the idiots in the world, but I know better."
"I understand you perfectly. The way that thing interacts with other humans, you would never realize it wasn't one of us. It must have been observing our behavior for years before attempting its infiltration."
"But we're smarter than that," Katsuki said, holding out his hand. "We know better. We need to work together if we want to save humanity from the threat it poses."
"I couldn't agree more, partner."
"Partner? You'd serve as a lackey at best."
"Lackey! I'll have you know that I'm an expert at cryptobiology."
"What does any kind of biology have to do with fighting robots?"
"Robots? You're worried about robots when there's an alien loose at U.A.?"
"An alien? Are you crazy? We don't have time to worry about a vague maybe in the stars when freaking Skynet's walking around here in Japan!"
"Advanced A.I. is decades in the future. The aliens are here now!"
"Clearly, that tin hat of yours is cutting circulation off to your brain, else you'd realize that's exactly what the machines want you to think! Why else has smart technology integrated every aspect of our lives except to cripple us at a moment's notice?"
"Which is all a part of the aliens' insidious plan! The robots are at best a symptom of the infection and more likely a red herring to distract fools like you!"
"Is there any reason the two of you are lurking around on campus grounds?" Aizawa asked.
Dib screeched in surprise and shot his water pistol at Aizawa. Aizawa gave them his most scathing, dead-eyed glare as water dripped down his face.
"Detention, both of you. With Nezu."
Back at U.A., Mina whispered into her bracelet, "The Dib got detention exactly as planned."
499
To my embarrassment, I only now just realized that I hadn't posted this on Tuesday. Whoops! Guess you're getting a double-dose of insanity today.
