Chapter 33 – Talking (long)

As soon as they pulled out, Elizabeth looked over at Jack.

"Is your mother alright?" Elizabeth asked.

"She will be." Jack said. "She was so angry back when Lacy pulled that stunt. She was even more upset when she didn't get in any kind of trouble. I still can't believe that her sister Macy was one of Laura's best friends."

"Wait." Nathan said. "Lacy has a sister, Macy."

"There are a total of five girls." Jack said. "Casey, Tracy, Jacy, Macy and Lacy."

Elizabeth couldn't help but laugh.

"Seriously." Nathan said.

"Yep." Jack said. "Spoiled trust fund brats, being raised by another spoiled trust fund brat. Lacy is the worst as she is the youngest. Not even twenty years old and I bet she has blown through a good portion of her trust fund. Her idiot father gave her access at sixteen."

"So that is why she wanted to be with you." Nathan said.

"Yep." Jack said.

"Casey blew threw most of her trust fund." Jack said. "So she found a rich guy, seduced him, purposely got pregnant and to keep his family name intacted, they got a quicky marriage. A year later, the guy finds out the kid probably is not even his, but because his name is on the birth certificate, he was stuck paying child support when they got divorced. She swore up and down that she didn't sleep with anyone else, so she refuses to give up who the real father is. I feel bad for the guy and the kid. He tried to get custody, but then Casey's father stepped in and got the case assigned to a friend of his. So off the record, William Pennybaker tells the custody judge that the guy is abusive when drinking, but they don't want to shame the whole family. Casey also got half of his money because of course there was no prenup.

And before you ask, the guy's family suggested a DNA test, but Pennybaker refused and said that he would sue for slander if they tried to go public. The guy's family backed off since they didn't want a scandal. Since the guy admitted to sleeping with Casey, they didn't want to have to give up their grandchild that they loved. They would rather just pay to keep things quiet and still have the little boy to love."

"The gall of some people." Nathan said. "I honestly can't believe some people stoop that low. How is he even still a judge?"

"No one wants to stand up to him." Jack said. "Ma standing up to him about Lacy's behavior was the first time that anyone tried and he brushed it off. All those girls are a wreck. Macy wasn't so bad, but then after Laura got hurt, she went off the deep end. I don't know the details, but I hear she has been in and out of rehab a half a dozen times."

"I am so glad that not everyone is like that." Elizabeth said. "I am glad that you aren't like that."

"Spoiled brats with too much time and money." Jack said. "I may have access to large sums of money, but I also work hard. Ask Nathan. I mucked out stalls this morning because they are my horses. I know that stable hands help when I can't be here, but when I am here, the horses are my responsibility. I think that is part of the reason that Tommy doesn't have his own horse. Grandpa's rule is if you own the horse, you are responsible for said horse. I am responsible for my three horses when I am here. If they have a different full-time rider, then it would be a slightly different story. That is why I only have three at the stable and not four. My other jumper is being used for lessons. Therefore, the stable hands look after her."

"I never understood these people who grow up and don't understand work and responsibility." Nathan said. "I mean I get you have money and could have other people do everything for you, but then what are you learning? Even people with money need to learn responsibility."

Nathan just shook his head as he realized that it was people that had no sense of personal responsibility that gave him work as a private investigator and security for others.

"I understand what you are saying." Jack said. "My grandparents didn't always have what they have now. I have heard stories about before Ma and her brothers were born. Even when they were little, there were many struggles. The house they have now was built twelve, maybe fifteen years ago. It took many years to acquire all the land that they have, as well as the bloodlines. It took a lot of work to build up the business to what it is. Granted, Grandpa's family has been at Coal Creek for several generations, but still it is hard work to keep and maintain the land."

"I don't doubt that." Nathan said.

They were silent for a bit. Elizabeth was thinking about something and she didn't want to embarrass Jack, but she also needed to know. There was also something else Elizabeth realized that she needed to talk to Jack about. She got all quiet and into her thoughts, Jack noticed, but after church and the pub, he wasn't going to push her. Jack wondered what was going through Elizabeth's head. He was going to give her a little bit of time, but he wasn't going to let things sit for too long, especially after what happened last night. Jack was worried that maybe he had done something to upset her or that he had somehow caused her to have nightmares, because she hadn't had any while they had been in the city. At least he hadn't known that she did. Jack would admit that he was a pretty heavy sleeper, but he was positive that he would have woken up if there was something wrong with Elizabeth or that she would have felt comfortable waking him if she needed to.

"Are you okay?" Jack asked.

"I don't know." Elizabeth said. "I need to talk to you about something, but I am not sure how. I also don't know if I want to do it at the ranch, it isn't that I don't trust your family, but what I need to tell you, … well I am embarrassed."

"Elizabeth." Nathan said. "I am sure that we can find a quiet place for you two to talk."

"That is the thing." Elizabeth said. "I need to talk to both of you."

Nathan and Jack quickly exchanged glances.

"Okay." Nathan said.

They pulled into Walmart. The security parked near them and followed the trio in. Nathan headed straight for the athletic department. Jack and Elizabeth agreed to meet him back in men's wear. Jack noticed that Elizabeth was quieter than normal. He wondered what she wanted to talk to them about, but he also knew that there was no way that he could push her in the middle of Walmart. While they waited for Nathan, Jack and Elizabeth looked at some of the tee-shirts. There was a whole display with funny sayings on them. It didn't take Nathan long to get back and find them. Together the three of them headed over to find the shirts that Nathan wanted. Nathan also grabbed a package of socks and some lounge pants. Once they found those items, Jack looked at the other two.

"Anything else?" Jack asked. "Nathan, you have swim shorts?"

"No." Nathan said. "I didn't think about it. I didn't have Devin tell Katie, there were just certain things I didn't feel comfortable with someone that I didn't know getting."

"We are here." Jack said. "Find some. It is supposed to be nice this week and the pool is heated. There is also a hot tub."

The trio headed over and Nathan found a couple pairs of swim trunks. Once they had those things, they headed to the front to check out. One the way there, Elizabeth saw a pair of sunglasses that she liked, so Jack grabbed them. When they got to the counter, Jack insisted on paying for everything. Nathan tried to argue, but Jack just looked at him. Nathan relented, he didn't like it, but he let Jack have his way. They headed back to the pick up, Elizabeth wearing her new sunglasses. When they got there, Elizabeth stopped both boys before getting in.

"Is there somewhere that we can stop and talk for a bit." Elizabeth said. "I know that you need to get back and jump, but I really need to talk to both of you."

Nathan looked at Jack.

"There is a little park." Jack said. "It is not that far. It is usually fairly quiet."

"Okay." Elizabeth said. "That will be fine."

Jack pulled the park up on the GPS while Nathan let security know what the plan was. Jack then texted his grandmother to let her know that they were making another stop because Elizabeth wanted to talk and would be back as soon as possible. Elizabeth was tense on the ride over. Both Nathan and Jack were wondering what was going on. Emotions had been all over the place the last twenty-four hours for all of them, so it could be just about anything. Elizabeth was trying to figure out what she was going to say, or more how she was going to say it. She wanted to be honest with both of them, but she was afraid that they would be mad at her. No one talked while Nathan drove them over to the park. When they get there, Nathan parked and security pull up next to them. They let Nathan know that they would stay in the car, but would wait for them. Jack led Nathan and Elizabeth over to a picnic table. Nathan and Jack sat down, but Elizabeth wanted to stand. Jack and Nathan looked at each other, not sure what to do.

"Okay, Elizabeth." Jack said. "What did you want to talk to us about?"

Elizabeth takes a deep breath and starts to pace.

"First." Elizabeth said. "I think I owe both of you an apology, for different reasons. Nathan, I am sorry that my silly crying woke you last night."

"Lizbeth." Nathan said. " …. …. (But Elizabeth didn't hear him.)"

She stopped and looked at him because of the way that he said her name. She didn't think that it was on purpose, but she liked how it rolled off his tongue. It sounded different then she had ever heard her name pronounced. She actually kind of liked it and wondered if she just had never noticed it before or if that was the first time that he had said it like that. Elizabeth shook her head.

"Sorry, Nathan." Elizabeth said. "You were saying, I was lost in my own head."

"It is okay." Nathan said. "I was saying that it was fine. You have been through a lot and I am glad that I woke up so we could check on you."

Nathan looks at Jack.

"Neither of us." Nathan continued. "Ever wants you to feel alone to the point that you can't reach out to us for help, no matter the time of day."

"Still." Elizabeth said. "I feel bad."

Elizabeth wiped a tear that had slipped from the corner of her eyes. Nathan stood up and took a step toward her. He knew that he had to be careful, because he could easily see himself falling for Elizabeth if she wasn't with Jack, even if she wasn't officially with Jack, Nathan knew her heart belonged to him. He also knew that he was close to crossing a professional boundary. But more than just a client he was hired to protect, Nathan saw Elizabeth and Jack quickly becoming friends of his. Since he didn't have many friends it made it all the more important to him to keep them and not cross a line that shouldn't be crossed.

"Lizbeth." Nathan said.

Nathan reached out and gently put his hand on Elizabeth's arm, stopping her. She turned toward him. He stepped even closer and rested his hands on her shoulders. Elizabeth inhaled sharply. She refused to look up, because she was sick of people seeing her crying. Elizabeth was also keenly aware of how close Nathan was to her. He was tall like Charlie, but Elizabeth wasn't afraid of Nathan being that close to her. Still, she knew that she needed to be careful. She knew that he was an attractive man and the last thing that she wanted was for him to stir feelings in her. She also didn't want to give him the wrong impression of her. Yet standing that close, she took in his manly scent. She thought he smelled good and then wondered what it would be like for him to wrap his long arms around her. Elizabeth shook her head. She knew that she couldn't go there. She didn't have romantic feelings for Nathan, but more like those of an older brother. She felt safe with him, but even that was different then with Jack. When Elizabeth refused to look up at him, Nathan took his hand and gently lifted her chin.

"Lizbeth." Nathan said barely above a whisper.

"Why am I crying again?" Elizabeth whispered.

"You are allowed to cry." Nathan said. "Never feel bad about how you feel. You have been through a lot. Now, I stopped your pacing because I thought you looked like you could use a hug. I know we don't know each other well and I am sure some would think I am crossing a professional boundary, but I consider you a friend and as a friend you look like you need a hug. Can I give you a hug?"

Elizabeth nodded. Nathan folded Elizabeth into him with his long arms. She wrapped her arms around him and the tears that she had been fighting began to fall in earnest. With one hand, Nathan stroked Elizabeth's hair and down her back in an effort to calm her. She held on to him tightly, absorbing his strength which he willingly gave her.

After a few minutes, her sobs lessened and she pulled back from Nathan. She saw where her tears had dampened his shirt. Nathan loosened his hold on Elizabeth and led her over to the table to sit down. Jack had sat there watching everything that had just happened. He saw how tender and gentle Nathan had been with Elizabeth. He held her while she cried, even though he didn't need to do that. Even when Elizabeth was in Nathan's arms, Jack didn't feel an ounce of jealousy. He was just glad that Nathan was there to comfort Elizabeth in a way that he didn't feel he could because of his feelings for her. Once they were seated again, Nathan took a deep breath.

"Now, Elizabeth." Nathan said. "You don't need to apologize for waking me."

"But if you hadn't woken up." Elizabeth said. "Then everything wouldn't be a mess right now."

"What do you mean?" Jack asked.

Elizabeth took a deep breath and as she released it, the tears started falling again.

"I am so sorry Jack." Elizabeth said. "After Gran left, I thought she went right back upstairs. I got up and grabbed my robe. When I got to the door, I … I heard what you said to Gran. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but after I heard what you said to her, I froze. I couldn't move. I didn't want to listen, but at the same time I couldn't move away."

Nathan continued to rub Elizabeth's back in an effort to comfort her while she cried.

"Elizabeth." Jack said.

"No, Jack." Elizabeth said. "I am so sorry. I feel so bad about it. I also feel bad that you have had to rearrange your life because of me. Maybe I should just go home, not that my parents even really care about me."

Jack got up and moved to sit on the other side of Elizabeth. He took her hands in his and held them to his chest.

"Elizabeth." Jack said. "I want you to listen to me and really hear me …."

Jack paused and waited until Elizabeth raised her gaze to him. When she did, he locked onto her gaze and held it.

"I don't EVERwant you to leave." Jack said. "I will understand if you want to, but I want you to know that from the bottom of my heart, I love you and I will always love you. All I want is for you to be safe and happy. IF that is not with me, I will find a way to accept it and be okay with it. I haven't for one moment regretted stepping in to help you that day. I don't think I could have lived with myself if I hadn't tried to help you. Also, I don't ever want you to worry about the money I have spent. Honestly it is nothing. I would gladly spend every penny I have if it meant keeping you safe. Do you hear me?"

Elizabeth nodded.

"I need to hear you say it." Jack said. "Do you understand what I am saying?"

Jack held her gaze until she answered him.

"Yes." Elizabeth eked out barely above a whisper.

After Elizabeth spoke, she ducked her head. She was sick of crying in front of Jack.

"Are you still listening?" Jack asked.

Elizabeth nodded her head, but didn't look up at Jack.

"Good, because I want you to know something." Jack said.

"What?" Elizabeth said, looking up at Jack slightly.

Jack took his left index finger and lifted Elizabeth's chin to face him more.

"I want you to know that you are beautiful." Jack said. "More than that, I think you are the most beautiful woman I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. Not only are you beautiful on the outside, but you are beautiful on the inside. You are strong, kind and loving."

"I don't feel like I am those things." Elizabeth said.

"Well, then." Jack said. "I will keep telling you everyday until you start to believe it."

Jack and Elizabeth were so close that they could feel each other's breath. Jack still had a hold of Elizabeth's hands with his right and his left hand under her chin. Elizabeth leaned forward a little, quickly darting her eyes from his eyes to his lips and back. Jack looked at Elizabeth's lips quickly as well. Jack was thinking of kissing Elizabeth when suddenly Nathan cleared his throat, breaking the moment. Jack released Elizabeth and looked over at Nathan. Jack then quickly moved back a little from Elizabeth. As he felt the heat creep into his cheeks. Jack ducked his head, slightly embarrassed. He realized he just about crossed a line that he had said that he wasn't going to cross.

"Do you feel better now?" Nathan asked.

"A little." Elizabeth said. "I still have questions, but we can head back."

"What are your questions?" Jack asked. "I want you to be able to ask me. I promised that I would be honest with you."

"I don't want to embarrass you." Elizabeth said. "But …."

"You don't need to ask." Jack said. "Nothing happened with Lacy or any woman. That is something that I was raised to believe was reserved for a husband and wife. I know that is not a popular way of thinking in today's world, but it was the way that I was raised."

"Okay." Elizabeth said. "So you have never …."

Realizing what she was asking, Jack quickly cut her off and answered her question honestly.

"No, I have never been intimate with a girl." Jack said. "Honestly, I have never even really kissed a girl before."

Elizabeth turned and looked at Jack.

"Kissing someone on the cheek or forehead." Jack said. "Is not considered an intimate kiss."

"I suppose you are right." Elizabeth said. "Charlie tried to kiss me once, but I stomped on his foot. Until the park he had never tried to touch me again."

"Yeah." Jack said. "I told you he was a skunk."

"From what I have read." Nathan said. "That is a perfect description of him."

"I would agree." Elizabeth said. "I think it is good that you are saving yourself for marriage. I wish I could say I can give you the same gift."

Jack and Nathan just looked at each other and then at Elizabeth. Jack released a harsh breath.

"I thought you said Charlie never hurt you." Jack said.

"He didn't." Elizabeth said.

"You don't have to tell us." Nathan said. "But did someone else hurt you? I only ask because I am concerned about you."

"Yes and no." Elizabeth said.

Jack's mind was reeling, not only at what Elizabeth had said that she couldn't give him the same gift, but also that someone would hurt her. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Elizabeth." Jack said. "You don't have to tell me, but I would like to know what happened."

"I was thirteen." Elizabeth said. "I was at camp … (Elizabeth wipe a few tears.)"

"Take your time." Jack said.

Jack and Nathan exchanged a look and wondered if they wanted to hear what Elizabeth was going to say.

"One of the older boys took a liking to me." Elizabeth said. "One night he convinced me to sneak off with him after lights out. He started kissing me and touching me. I told him to stop, but he called me a tease. He said that if I didn't want to be with him, I shouldn't have come with him. I quit fighting and let him do what he wanted. He had his way with me, it was so quick and over before I knew it. I never told anyone about it. My mother had assumed that I was busy with the boys because it was even before camp that summer that she insisted that I start birth control because she didn't want to be a grandmother. I have been on it ever since because it was a rule for living in their house."

"Oh, Elizabeth." Jack said. "That should never have happened to you. No means no."

Jack pulled Elizabeth back into a hug. He felt bad for her, he knew even more that he needed to be careful and extra sensitive with Elizabeth. The other thing that flashed through Jack was anger at the young man that had forced himself on his Elizabeth. He had a ton of questions, but he knew that it wasn't the time to ask them, but there was a part of Jack that wanted to find the boys and teach him some manners.

"Elizabeth." Nathan said.

She turned and looked at him.

"I know it is personal." Nathan said. "But you don't need to keep taking that birth control if you don't want to. You are an adult and no one can force you to take it."

"Thank you for saying that." Elizabeth said. "But I already had it removed. My family doesn't know."

Jack and Nathan looked at each other confused. Elizabeth slipped her arm out of the long sleeve and showed them a small scar on her upper arm.

"It had been replaced before my seventeenth birthday." Elizabeth said. "This spring, I decided to have the implant removed. I went to the clinic. Since I was an adult, they did it and couldn't say anything to my parents."

Jack looked at Nathan.

"Thank you for sharing." Jack said.

Elizabeth nodded and slipped her button up back on.

"Let's get back." Nathan said. "Jack and I still need to jump this afternoon and I am sure that the rest are wondering where we went."

They headed back to the truck. Nathan quickly let the security know that they were headed back to the ranch. They looked at him for a moment and before he could get in the truck, Adam stopped him.

"What happened over there?" Adam asked. "Do I need to worry about you being objective?"

"No." Nathan said. "She looked like she needed a hug from a friend and I asked before I gave it to her. I would never cross that professional line, besides, her heart belongs to someone else."

"Okay." Adam said, still unsure.

Nathan shook his head, but he knew why Adam asked. Nathan went over to the truck, got in and backed out of the spot where they were parked.