We arrived, and on showing the people, the formers slaves and adventurers, what we had done, there was much rejoicing. Like, almost as much as the capital had been after the Wave, and as the afternoon sun slowly drifted into evening, you could see them setting up for a party-like atmosphere in this place, with food, drink, and even toys and games being set up on long tables.

The new residents of Sanctuary, as no one had chosen the leave option, were dancing in the light of the setting sun and several bonfires, as the workmen left behind their projects for the evening, and adventurers, both incoming and outgoing, took a moment to join in the revelry. Some knew what it was for, most didn't know, and few of those who didn't would care, as they chose to just have a bit of fun before continuing on their way.

I was one of those they kept wanting to toast. I accepted a cup, and after setting it down, and having another given to me, and then another after trying to get rid of that one, I just held onto the fourth, acting like I sipped from it, and maintaining a smile, not a large one, but enough to give the others the impression I was with them. This was a party after all, and I'd hate to kill the mood.

Luckily few people noticed the man of the hour sort of drifting around, not with the three brothers, celebrities amongst their people thanks to their status as Hero Party members, and slayers of the evil queen, took most of the attention. I even saw Lucia get hit on by a bear guy almost twice her size, and after downing her cup, she challenged him to an arm wrestling match, which she won thanks to her stats.

Ray and Souka, as it happened, mingled more with the Guild members, with Ray herself talking with Ben in a corner, the pair eyeing me at times, but I tipped my cup to them, and they would turn away, sharing papers between them. I wondered what business they were talking, but I figured it wasn't really any of mine unless they decided to bring it to me, so I kept myself away from them.

Souka, meanwhile, was having a blast of her own, even getting into what I could only assume was some kind of smithing competition, her and the other masters of the Traveling Forge trying to enhance the gear we'd brought back, or convert monster parts into new gear with it, at the highest level possible. Of course, Souka had been recommended for a reason, and she saw many a challenger hang their heads in shame, only for someone else to step up and try their luck.

All in all, it was actually far more a fun scene than the castle party had been, and honestly, at any other time, I might have joined in with everyone. At any other time, I would have been howling with laughter, telling stories with my companions, or even just shooting boosts into people so they could go beyond themselves, if only for a night, and do more than they ever thought possible.

Tonight, however, my eyes would lock with someone, and even knowing it wasn't real, I'd briefly see them. Blue orbs staring back at me. More than one blonde haired woman would feel me start when I saw them. Luckily, the Guild only had a few with that color hair, it was rare in this world, and the village slaves only two, both humans. Still, it sent a shiver up my spine every time they came in view, one I suppressed through force of will.

Finally, as the moon began to rise, and the bonfires became the only light in the gorge, I was able to abandon my drink, and then slip away into the darkness. Looking into the walls, I found one of those homes that had been carved into it, rather than built out from it. None of them had been claimed by anyone yet, and they were half collapsed, but this one had an entry room for me to stumble into.

The moment I was alone, the instant the voices and noise of the party faded, I let it crash down on me. I closed my eyes, and I saw her. Her stupid, evil face. That face that had tried to sentence lots of people, most of those out there celebrating now, to death. That face that would have killed me, and the people I was closest to here, just because we were in her damn way, and she didn't care about us.

That face that had tears in its eyes. They looked up at me, hair just there, giving it a frame, making it look like it had some innocence left. And it mouthed help me. I…I knew she was evil. I knew she had done horrible, terrible things. Heck, I figured this couldn't have been the first crime she had committed honestly, there wasn't any way it was, this was just the one I'd found her doing, and it was doubtless I'd find a thousand more in her country.

Then why did it hurt? Every time I closed my eyes, every time I looked at someone else's, I couldn't not see her face for an instant, and I felt sick. I didn't blame anyone else. I didn't blame Marie for killing her, I didn't blame my party for slaughtering her knights, men and women who hadn't asked to serve some evil queen. I blamed her. I wanted to blame her. I didn't want to blame myself for not figuring out how to save everyone.

I fell forward, feeling something rise in my gorge. I'd eaten that morning of course, but since then? Nothing had passed my lips, food or drink wise. Still, something was in me, and I let it out, in a corner of the room, hunched over, on my knees, it came, just a bit, and when it was done, I felt like my insides were on fire, like everything about me was heavy, and I backed up, forcing myself away from the puddle.

I started, freezing in place when I heard it. The subtle noise, the clink of metal against metal, turning to find Ray standing there, her tabard discarded for now, leaving her in the small mail she wore beneath it. She was looking up at me, and I tried to say something, coughed, and spit into the corner where I'd done my business, and then tried again, but words failed me.

She shook her head, knowingly, almost motherly, and then, without a word, she came forward. Her arms extended outwards, she wrapped them around me, and then with a strength that belied her smaller size, she was able to pull me down, and place my head on her shoulder, like a child. She patted the small of my back, and then, within me realizing it, I started to cry, tears filling my eyes.

I wasn't sure where I found the water to cry, I wasn't sure why I was doing it either, but her holding me like that, I let it come out, I just couldn't stop them, and I was a blubbering wreck. Hardly the image of the Hero of the Bow, and I was glad it was just Ray, as I leaned more and more into her, and she held strong against me, until at some point, I fell asleep in her grip, passing out from exhaustion, if I were to hazard a guess.

When I awoke, we were laying on a bench of carved stone by the entrance of the small building, the lights from outside dimmed, though I could hear bodies milling about, and the clang of metal ringing as someone pounded it into shape. Not the sharp, quick strikes of the competitive spirits, but instead the rhythmic clash that came from working with metal to fashion it just right, and not rushing the job.

I looked down to find Ray sleeping beside me…laying beside me rather, as the moment I looked down, she looked up, and for the first time since it had happened, I didn't see a fleck of blue in her eyes. I saw Ray instead, and she smiled at me, as she slowly uncurled her arm from around me, and then stood up, stretching and popping her joints. I joined her, and soon, the two of us were sitting down on the bench.

"That was the first time someone died in front of you. That's not a question, by the way. I've been working as an administrator of an Adventurers' Hall, and was one for years before that. I know the signs," she said, as she placed her hand on my thigh, but even as I looked towards her, she kept her head facing forward.

"If I were an idiot, I'd tell you it doesn't get easier. If you were a farm boy, out to try and be an adventurer just to get away from the life you were born to, I'd encourage you to give it up now, and just go back home. This isn't the life for you," she spoke the words, like she'd given this speech a few times, and I knew by her tone to do so, kept my mouth shut as she continued.

"If I were a realist, and you were a tough guy, looking to make a name for yourself, I'd tell you it gets easier, and I'd start sending you out on dangerous missions, either to break you of your own bad habits, or just to get your stupid ass killed so someone with more of a stomach for what we do could take your place," she said, sighing a bit, as that sounded like a personal thing she'd done more often than she wanted to admit.

"But I've been here too many times to be an idiot or a realist. Our world isn't good for either, not with things like the Heroes around. So I'm going to be honest with you," she said, and then stood up, rising so she could look me in the eyes as she came to stand in front of me.

"It does get easier, but it never becomes easy. It never stops hurting, even if you're not the one to kill them, for someone to die because of your call. A bandit who refuses to surrender and forces you to end them. A villager who refuses to listen and runs into the middle of a goblin ambush and gets killed. Or a noble, who flaunts the law and tries to kill you to cover it up," she kept staring at me, and I found myself unable to look away.

"Eventually, you'll be able to use the rational part of your brain to finally understand, these aren't your fault. The voices that tell you it is will grow quieter. But they never go away completely. I can't tell you how to deal with that, because you're not me, and I'm not you. But I can offer you a hand, and tell you that your party's got your back, and if you need to take time…other than the Waves, we'll make sure you get it," she said, and then held out her hand.

I looked at it, her strong fingers held out, and then smiled as I took it, and she hauled me to my feet, standing above her, and then looking towards the mess I made in the corner. I idly wondered if I should tell someone, but she solved the problem by doing something with her sword, collapsing part of the wall on the mess, before the two of us walked back out into the moonlit area of Sanctuary.

The others, if they knew anything of what had passed between us, said nothing, as Ben shuffled us into the Hall, and into a room that was in the back, a bedroom with actual beds, all ready for my party, even marked with names on them. They sat up in them when we entered, and asked where I'd gotten to, but nothing too pointed. Instead they let me strip off my armor, and then climb into the bed, the soft stuff, despite me being asleep for at least an hour, helping me go back, this time into a nice warm slumber, that held me until the dawn.