Author's Note. I want to put a TRIGGER WARNING on this page. It talks a little about childhood abuse and I know that can be triggering to some people. Nothing graphic, but still it is there.
Chapter 75 – Reality Check (long)
Father Mark looked over at Elizabeth and saw how upset she was.
"I can loan you my camera." Father Mark said. "It might not be as fancy as the one you had, but you are more than welcome to use it while you are up here. I don't use it nearly enough, but it is nice to have from time to time. I think it might just be a step down from the interchangeable lens."
"Thank you." Elizabeth said. "I may take you up on that."
"Anytime." Father Mark said.
"What kind of camera did you have?" Lee asked.
"It was the new Nikon." Elizabeth said. "It had a wide angle lens, one with a nice zoom and then a third lens for action. I was hoping to get a macro lens to take extreme close ups, but they are really expensive."
"Nice." Doug said. "Do you want me to see if my dad can get your camera?"
"He can try." Elizabeth said. "I doubt that Dad will ever give it to him or even admit that he has it."
"Well." Doug said. "It would be worth a try."
Elizabeth wiped another tear from her eye. Father Mark noticed.
"So tell me about jumping." Father Mark said. "How is it going?"
Elizabeth looked over and gave Father Mark a small smile and he just nodded back to her.
"It is going well." Jack said. "It is almost like I never stopped. I am so ready for the competition this weekend."
"Only if you can beat me." Doug teased.
"No problem." Jack said. "I have in the past, I doubt it is going to change now."
"Just wait." Nathan said. "I will give you both a run for your money at Sugar Creek."
Gran smiled to herself as she listened to the boys banter back and forth. She also said a prayer of thanks that her JP was back. He had been so sad the last few visits and she was thinking that Elizabeth had a lot to do with her getting her happy grandson back. As Gran stood in the kitchen listening to the boys banter back and forth about who was the better rider, her heart was so full. She looked at the table and was glad that the group had just included Father Mark into their group without things being weird. She was glad to see that, because she knew that he had expressed in the past that he missed having that family time as his family really didn't get together much anymore. She also knew that his calling/job sometimes got in the way of getting close to people. Gran was lost in her thoughts and jumped when Thomas touched her arm.
"Sorry." Thomas said. "I was just going to ask you if there was any coffee."
"No." Gran said. "But it is set to make some, all you have to do is hit the button."
"Okay." Thomas said. "Sorry to startle you."
"No problem." Gran said. "I was just lost in thought listening to the kids banter back and forth."
"JP looks like he is having fun." Thomas said as he came back to stand next to Gran.
As they were standing there, JP was laughing and there seemed to be a permanent smile on his face. Even his eyes were shining again.
"Yes." Gran said. "Yes, he does seem happy and I am sure that young lady over there has a lot to do with it."
Thomas just gave Gran a look and it wasn't exactly a happy one.
"Don't give me that look Thomas John Thornton." Gran admonished. "I know that you don't exactly approve, but you can't deny that he is happy and she is part of the reason. At some point you just have to trust that you raised him right and that he knows right from wrong – and JP does. He knows what he wants in life and if you try to prevent him from what he knows he wants, you are not only hurting him, but everyone around him."
"Hmm." Thomas said.
"Think about it." Gran said. "Now go sit down and get to know them better. I know that you don't spend nearly enough time with JP and his friends."
"I have work to do." Thomas said.
Gran grabbed his arm like he was a naughty child.
"No." Gran said pointedly. "You pour a cup of coffee and go sit, at least fifteen minutes. You don't have to talk to them if you don't want to, but at least least listen, it would do you good to get to know all of the young people sitting around my table."
"Fine." Thomas said.
He knew better than to argue with his mother-in-law when she used that tone or his full name. Thomas grabbed a cup and poured himself a cup of fresh coffee. He then went down and sat at the end of the table near Father Mark.
"Glad you could join us." Father Mark said, leaning over.
Thomas smiled back at him. Thomas sat there for a moment and just listened. Doug was telling a story about something or another. When Thomas looked over at Jack, he saw that Gran had been right and Jack's eyes were sparkling. He hadn't seen that in years and even then it wasn't as bright as it was at that moment. When Doug stopped speaking and the group was laughing, Thomas could see that the group before him really was a group of friends, despite the age differences and the differences in their backgrounds.
"Sounds like a good time." Thomas said, looking at Doug.
Doug looked over and nodded. It was the first time that most of the table had realized that Thomas had joined the group.
"Glad you could join us." Lee said.
"So what did you all do this afternoon?" Thomas asked.
"We took Nathan and Elizabeth out to the meadow at the edge of the property." Doug said.
"Down by the original house?" Thomas asked.
"Yes." Doug said.
"I didn't see a house out there." Elizabeth said.
"The only thing that is left is a bit of the foundation." Jack said. "You have to be careful riding in the meadow, but I will show you some day. The house actually wasn't that far from where we had stopped."
"So how old is this property?" Elizabeth asked.
"It has been in the Sims family since seventeen seventy." Jack said. "Grandpa's family was some of the Irish that came over here that weren't British slaves, although they weren't called that. They were called prisoners and/or indentured servants."
"Same thing." Doug said, rolling his eyes.
"True." Jack said. "But politically they were seen as very different. The Irish and even the Scottish were treated much worse than any of the slaves were in the south. Because they weren't seen as slaves, they didn't have much recourse nor did they have the protection granted to other citizens of the new country. Anyway, Grandpa's family worked to free other Irish and Scottish. They fought for the freedom of this country and when they came back victorious, they settled back into farming and raising horses. They named their new larger farm – Coal Creek."
"Why?" Elizabeth said.
"Because when they had come back from the war." Gran said. "The creek ran dark for a full season from an overturned coal cart that had spilled into the river. The water was fine to drink if boiled, but it would leave a fine sediment on everything. By the next spring, the water ran clear again, but the ground grew much better after that. Figuring it had something to do with the minerals from the sediment, they started saving the ashes from the coal burning stove as well as the wood burning stoves. Then in the spring, they would spread the ashes on the fields and then turn the land over, letting the ashes sink into the soil for a day or two before planting. They always seemed to have a better crop than the neighbors and never told anyone outside of the family why. As they were able, they expanded the farm over the years."
"That is so cool." Elizabeth said. "I can't believe that your family has been here that long. I know that my family has a long history in England, but I don't know much of it."
"That is sad." Jack said. "I love that this place is so full of history. There are times that I am out riding and I think that my ancestors once rode those same fields."
"So at its biggest, how big was Coal Creek?" Elizabeth asked.
"Over twenty-seven hundred acres." Jack said.
"How big is it now?" Elizabeth asked.
"Just over thirteen hundred." Jack said. "Someday, I would love to have all that acreage back."
"Keep dreaming son." Thomas said.
Jack just glared at his father before turning his attention back to others. Elizabeth and Nathan both saw the glare from Jack. Nathan knew that things were still tense with Thomas. He also knew that it wasn't going to get better if they didn't talk about things. Elizabeth could feel the tension and thought maybe talking about the land might break the tension.
"So what happened?" Elizabeth asked. "Why did they lose land?"
"War, depression." Jack said. "I am sure that there are several reasons. But they have always held on to the original site and I think that is what is important."
"Don't forget." Gran said. "There was a time when each son would get a small acreage to start their own family if they wanted and some of that land was lost over time as well."
"Oh." Elizabeth said. "I can see how that could happen. I am so glad that you have the history that you do have."
"Thank you." Jack said
"So how long have the Thornton's been around here?" Elizabeth asked.
"My ancestors settled in the Albany area in the mid eighteen hundreds." Thomas said. "We don't have the original land anymore, but we do have the property that my grandfather did settle on when he was twenty-one years old. My father still lives there."
"That is cool." Elizabeth said. "Bet that there is a lot of history there as well."
"Yes there is." Jack said. "I would love to show you that old house sometime. Grandpa John has remodeled a few times, but there are still plenty of original elements that my great-grandfather built, including some of the pocket doors. Several of the remodeling have included upgrades like running water, electricity, insulation and things like that. Grandpa John has documented the entire history of the place. It is so cool to know."
"I would love to see that sometime." Elizabeth said.
Jack smiled and squeezed Elizabeth's hand.
"So you like history?" Father Mark asked.
"Yes." Elizabeth said. "I especially like New York history and specifically Central New York history. I know that we aren't exactly in Central New York, but a lot of what extends into the central part of the state starts here."
"Very true." Father Mark said.
"You would love to drive US Route twenty then." Nathan said. "It really shows the progression of the state and country as a whole. I have been to parts of Central New York and it really is a pretty drive."
"I would love that." Elizabeth said.
"Maybe we might have to do that sometime." Jack said with a grin.
The group continued to talk and Thomas joined the conversation from time to time. He even sat long enough to have a second cup of coffee. Since it had been made, Father Mark and Nathan joined him on the second cup. Nathan was still quiet, preferring to sit back and listen. He would make a comment here or there, but mostly he was quiet unless asked a direct question. Jack, Doug and Lee didn't mind as they all knew that not everyone was outgoing. They also respected that Nathan preferred to sit back and mostly listen. Even Thomas noticed that Nathan was pretty quiet and he wondered if that was just Nathan or if something had happened because of his talk with him. It made Thomas think about his actions and if he was wrong in confronting Nathan. He wondered if that was part of the reason that JP was still so angry at him. Thomas knew that JP was fiercely protective of his close friends. If JP considered Nathan a close friend, then that would explain JP's reaction.
After Thomas finished his second cup of coffee, he excused himself to go get a little bit more work done before supper. Not only did Thomas have work to do, but he also had plenty to think about. Thomas sat down at the desk and started thinking about everything. He thought about the way that he treated his employees, while he compensated them well, he also realized that he always treated them like employees and he was the boss. Thomas realized that he never really got to know any of them on a personal level. Thomas sat back and it dawned on him that even his driver that he had had for over twenty years, that he really didn't know much about him other than to make polite conversation. Thomas wasn't sure what he could do, but at least he was aware of his behavior.
Thomas also realized that JP was probably upset about the accusations that were made the night before. Thomas was still trying to figure out how much that JP knew and who exactly told him, not that who was as important as how much he knew. Thomas wasn't sure what he was going to do about that. It wasn't something that he wanted to talk about, especially with his son, but he also realized that he probably couldn't keep it hidden much longer if JP knew.
Shortly after Thomas left, Nathan went and took his seat next to Father Mark.
"Can I talk to you?" Nathan asked quietly.
"Sure." Father Mark said.
"Privately." Nathan said.
Father Mark nodded and held up one finger to indicate just a moment. Father Mark got up, went over to Gran and whispered something. She nodded and whispered back.
"Hey, guys." Gran said. "I could use some help in the kitchen. I want to finish these cookies before supper."
"Be right there." Jack said.
The group started to break up and Father Mark walked over to Nathan.
"Gran said to use the library." Father Mark whispered.
Nathan got up and followed him to the library. Gran was glad that no one noticed that Nathan and Father Mark went off to talk. It was exactly what she wanted. It didn't take long for the boys and Elizabeth to clear the table and get washed up to help Gran in the kitchen. They continued talking as they helped finish rolling the cookies. They were having a good time joking and teasing each other. Gran was also glad that Nathan took the opportunity to talk, she knew that he needed it. She wasn't sure what was going on, but she knew that he needed to talk about something. Now, she had to figure out how to get JP and Elizabeth to talk to each other. She knew that they needed to work things out and stop dancing around the issues that she knew they needed to deal with.
When Nathan and Father Mark got to the library, Father Mark shut the doors and locked them. He also pulled the shades that were on the French doors.
"Don't worry." Father Mark said. "The library is sound proof once you shut and lock the doors. Grandpa insisted on it since he uses it for business sometimes. Same with the office, except there you don't have to lock the doors."
"Thank you." Nathan said.
Nathan paced for a bit, then sat down and dropped his head to his hands. Father Mark moved over to sit next to Nathan. He laid his hand on his back and just prayed. He was going to wait until Nathan was ready to talk. After a few minutes, Father Mark decided to try asking some questions to see if he could figure out what was wrong. All Father Mark knew was that Nathan was really rattled.
"Did something happen?" Father Mark asked. "I want to help you, but I am working at a slight disadvantage. All I know is what you told me earlier."
Nathan nodded and then took a deep breath. Without lifting his head, he started speaking softly.
"I lost my temper with Tommy." Nathan said.
"Well." Father Mark said. "From what I understand he had it coming."
"But it scared me." Nathan said.
"Why?" Father Mark asked.
"Because I threatened him the way that my father used to threaten us." Nathan said.
"Us?" Father Mark said.
"My twin sister and I," Nathan said. "I guess also my mother."
"Okay." Father Mark said. "Can you tell me more about growing up?"
Father Mark felt Nathan shutter and then took another deep breath. Again Father Mark offered a prayer for Nathan as he spoke. He knew that whatever Nathan had been through was horrible and it was going to be hard for him to talk about.
"For the longest time." Nathan said. "I didn't know any different. I thought all families were like ours. Mom and Archie, that is my father, I don't call him dad. Anyway, they fought a lot and then he would be gone for a period of time. Mom would say that he was on a business trip or he was helping a friend. As I got older, I learned that was a lie."
Nathan stopped and started pacing again. Father Mark just let him, while keeping a close eye on him. Nathan ran his fingers through his hair a few times before speaking again.
"At first." Nathan said. "I was upset that Mom had lied to us, but then I got angry at Archie."
"Where was he when he left?" Father Mark asked.
"He would go gambling." Nathan said. "Or he would go to his girlfriend's. I never understood why Mom didn't just divorce him. He was cheating on her. She had two kids, I never knew if they were Archie's or not. I don't know if he treated them like he treated us, frankly I didn't want to know. Anyway, even when Archie was home, he was drinking and gambling. He wasn't nice when he was drinking."
"Did he ever hurt you?" Father Mark asked.
Nathan stopped and looked at Father Mark. When Father Mark saw his face he knew. There were tears in Nathan's eyes. Suddenly Nathan dropped to his knees on the floor and started crying, sobbing really. Father Mark got up and went to him.
"It is okay." Father Mark said, rubbing his back.
Father Mark started silently praying again. He knew that Nathan had probably never told anyone before and he knew that he was looking at a broken child. Father Mark also knew that he needed to proceed with caution. He let Nathan cry for a bit and just prayed and tried to comfort him.
"Tell me more about it." Father Mark said. "I know that it is hard, but it will help you to let it out."
"I have never told anyone before." Nathan breathed out.
"But you need to." Father Mark said. "Are you okay to go back and sit on the couch?"
Nathan nodded. Father Mark stood and then helped Nathan up. They went back over to the couch. Father Mark could still see that Nathan was that scared little boy that never really grew up. It broke his heart that the strong man before him was so broken and it was because of the hand of someone who was supposed to protect him. Father Mark needed to take a deep breath and not let his personal feelings get in the way of helping Nathan, who so desperately needed it. It took a bit and Nathan was still crying, but not as hard.
"Like I said I thought it was normal." Nathan said. "Colleen, that is my sister, we never thought about it. We would just take our punishment and move on. At first it wasn't bad, but I think that Mom was able to shield us from the worst of it when we were younger. As I got older, I started to try and protect Colleen more from Archie, even though she was technically the older sibling. I felt it was my job to protect her. More than once I stepped between her and Archie. Looking back, I knew that only angered him and I probably got more than what Colleen would have gotten, but I honestly didn't mind."
"And no one noticed?" Father Mark asked.
"Mom never let us go to school if we had bruises." Nathan said. "Even when she would, I would never say anything. Our schooling was more miss than hit. Mom tried to homeschool us, but she didn't always have the patience."
"So you got hit a lot?" Father Mark asked.
"I wouldn't say a lot." Nathan said. "As I said, Archie was gone a lot. But it was enough."
"Once is enough." Father Mark said. "Did he hit your mother?"
"Yes." Nathan said softly.
"It doesn't excuse it." Father Mark said. "But it might explain why she never left him, she might have been afraid of him. She might have thought that things would have been worse if she left. I also take it that your mother didn't work outside the home."
"No." Nathan said. "But she did sewing and some cleaning for a few wealthy ladies to help make ends meet."
"I see." Father Mark said. "Like I said, it isn't an excuse, I am just guessing, but I think that your mother was able to get financial support from your dad as long as they were married, however little it was. It would have been worse had she tried to leave. She was probably embarrassed as well. She probably didn't want anyone to know. Like I said, I am just guessing, but I have seen it before."
"I guess I never thought about it that way." Nathan said. "We lived on the edge of town and had a few more acres than most people, but it was also the house that my mother had grown up in. I know that it was in her name and she never added Archie. She had the house before they were married, I do know that."
"So it was easier to hide." Father Mark said.
Nathan nodded.
"So your father had a temper and would hit you." Father Mark said. "So tell me what happened with Tommy."
Father Mark waited for Nathan to speak. Nathan was softly crying again. Father Mark knew that whatever had happened with Tommy really shook Nathan to the core. Father Mark heard the knock. Nathan looked up and Father Mark saw the fear in his eyes.
"It is okay." Father Mark said. "It is probably Gran."
