Chapter 114 – Jack's Emotions
Jack didn't look up at Nathan, but let out a harsh breath. Before Jack could say anything, there was another soft knock at the door. Lee went to see as they weren't expecting anyone else. When Lee opened the door a crack, he was surprised to see James standing there.
"Grandpa." Lee said.
"One of the hands called." James said. "They were worried that JP was hurt and no, I didn't tell Charlotte. I wanted to see what was going on first."
Lee opened the door and let James step in, closing the door behind him.
"He isn't physically hurt." Lee said. "But he is upset. This afternoon with Gabe didn't go well."
"I heard." James said. "Nathan, are you okay?"
"Getting there." Nathan said. "Doug took Cody to see the foals. We didn't want him to see Jack like this."
"Cody is here?" James said.
"Yes." Lee said. "Abigail didn't feel comfortable leaving him with just Peter and Becky at home. We brought him down here so the ladies could take care of things. Other than hearing Jack talk in an angry tone while we were still outside, Nathan and Doug shielded him for everything else."
"Okay." James said.
James walked over to Jack and sat down on the couch.
"JP." James said. "What happened is not your fault. Tell us what we can do to help you. You need to get out of your head and think about the bigger picture."
James waited a moment.
"If you are not in a good head space." James said. "I don't care, I won't let you ride tomorrow."
Jack looked up at his grandfather and you could see there were tear stains on his face.
"I am serious." James said. "And you know it."
Jack nodded.
"I agree." Nathan said. "I had already thought about it. So tell us what you need."
"I just need some space." Jack said. "It has been a long two weeks. Then with everything that has happened in the last twenty-four hours, I have just hit an emotional overload."
"Fine." James said. "We will give you space, but I mean it when I said you better be in a better headspace tomorrow."
James stood up and walked over to Lee.
"Let's go." James said.
"Give me a minute." Nathan said. "Lee, will you let Doug know and when I come out, we can head to the house."
Lee nodded and walked out with James. Nathan waited until they had both left, then he put a hand on Jack's arm.
"Please look at me." Nathan said.
Jack looked up at Nathan.
"Like I told Gran." Nathan said. "I am sorry that Gabe acted the way that he did. Please forgive me."
"Nothing to forgive." Jack said. "We gave him every chance. I am not mad at you. By the way, how are you doing with all of this?"
"It is hard." Nathan said. "I wanted Gabe here, but more than that, I wanted him to have an open mind and see that you are different. I know that he doesn't like Trip's family, but still. I can't believe that he would give them information, but as I think about it, he knew that we were going to the farmer's market. How else does it explain that Lacy knew that we would be there. Also about the press at the courthouse. I am sorry that this all has made things more difficult for you."
"Adam knew that we were going to the farmer's market." Jack said. "Don't blame Gabe unless you have proof. The press, that could have been anyone. There were a couple there when we first pulled up. I didn't realize it until I thought about it later. He could have called people or it could have just been a bad day to go. It is fine."
"So what is really going on?" Nathan asked.
"I am afraid that Ma is going to drive Elizabeth away." Jack said. "I also think all this tension has just caught up to me."
"Okay." Nathan said. "Elizabeth isn't going anywhere. She loves you and you love her. Take some time, think about things and do what you need. However, you only have until your grandfather gets here, then I need your head in the game."
Jack nodded. Nathan got up and headed to the door, but turned before he left.
"We will be at the house." Nathan said. "Please join us when you are ready. I will let everyone know that you just needed a little space."
"Thanks." Jack said.
With that, Nathan left the office and found Lee petting one of the horses.
"Is Jack okay?" Lee asked.
"He will be." Nathan said. "Everything just caught up to him. I told him to get his head in the game before his grandfather got here."
Lee nodded and they headed to the house.
Abigail gave Elizabeth a moment. She picked up the dress that Elizabeth was going to wear, along with both the dress shoes and the sandals that they had picked. She left the room with them and headed to the laundry room.
Elizabeth sat there for a moment before she realized that Abigail had left. Elizabeth started to put the other items that she had pulled out to show Abigail away when it dawned on her. Elizabeth sat back down because she was overwhelmed with the feeling in heart. She closed her eyes and looked up.
"Heavenly Father." Elizabeth prayed. "Please help me to see clearly. Please help me to shut out the other voices and show me what You want for me. Help Jack and I as we move forward. Help us to know what the right path is. I pray that You give us peace about everything that has happened over the last couple of days. I ask Your protection and guidance as we move forward. Amen."
Elizabeth sat there for a moment before she finished putting her things away and then headed to find Gran and Abigail. When she found them, they were in the laundry room working to make sure the clothes for everyone were ready. Abigail looked up and saw Elizabeth.
"Did you need something?" Abigail asked.
"No." Elizabeth said. "Do you need help?"
"If you want to pull the jeans out of the dryer and hang them up." Abigail said. "That would be really helpful. I think it is a load of the boys' jeans, some of which they will need tomorrow."
Elizabeth went over and started pulling jeans out and hanging them up.
"Hang them by the cuffs." Abigail said. "They won't stretch out as bad and actually dry better."
"Okay." Elizabeth said. "I didn't know it made a difference."
"No problem." Abigail said. "I grew up with brothers and also Bill told me that was how he was taught to do his uniform pants. It is standard in our house now."
"I will make sure that I do that in the future." Elizabeth said. "I mean I know how to do my laundry, but just the basics."
After Nathan closed the door to the office, Jack waited a moment and then put his head in his hands again. He leaned forward and continued to cry again in less then a week. He hadn't really cried in over three years, and now he has cried hard at least twice in the last week. Jack wasn't sure what was going on, but he didn't like that he didn't have control of his emotions. Ever since he had been about twelve years old and fell at a competition, where he cried and got teased, Jack had prided himself on being able to control his emotions. He wasn't that he didn't feel things, but he rarely let others see the depth of his emotions.
Sitting there, Jack also realized that in the last week and half, that he had such a rollercoaster of emotions. He also wasn't surprised that he wasn't able to hide it anymore. The words that his mother had said hurt more than he would ever let her know. He tried not to be mad at her, but more than anything there was an anger behind his tears. The anger was at his parents, mostly his mother, but some at his father. Jack had known that they wouldn't like his decisions, but he never expected the reaction that he had gotten.
After about ten minutes of crying, Jack was done. He was emotionally drained as well as physically tired. He got up and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. He sat on the couch and slowly drank it, then got another and drank it while he thought about what he wanted and needed to do. He knew that he needed to get some sleep as it was going to be a long day competing. He also knew that he needed to talk to his grandfather when he got there so that they had a security plan for the next day.
After drinking both bottles of water, Jack sat at the desk and made a list of everything that needed to be done that weekend and things that could wait. He also made a list of things that needed to happen before Sugar Creek and then again before the Coal Creek show. Once he had the lists and felt in better control, he went to the private bathroom and splashed some cold water on his face. He then went to the jockey room and made sure that he had his competition vest and helmet. He also grabbed a clean undershirt for riding.
Once he had everything in a bag, he stopped and gave the horses a little attention before he headed to the house. As he was walking toward the house, he quickly decided that he wasn't ready to see everyone just yet, so he dropped his bag near the back door and went around the side. He went up to the second level and went into his music room. He needed to think and recharge a little before he dealt with everything else. He knew that he had a plan and that was what he thought about for a moment. He knew that as long as he stuck to the plan that he would be able to deal with everything until his parents left to head back to the city.
Elizabeth finished hanging up all twelve pairs of jeans and then turned to watch what Abigail was doing. Gran had stepped away to take a phone call.
"So what are you doing?" Elizabeth asked.
"I am steaming clothes." Abigail said. "It will take out any wrinkles without ironing the item. As long as the wrinkles aren't set deep, it usually works. It is great for things that are touchy when ironing as well. So I will do yours and Gran's dresses, the guys vests and jumping jackets. I will iron the shirts, just because I want the crisp lines and the shirts are new."
"What are those two black things hanging over there?" Elizabeth asked.
Abigail looked at where Elizabeth was looking.
"Those are kilts." Abigail said. "James will wear his and Gran asked me to make sure that Jack's was ready as well."
"I thought Jack said that he was going to wear jeans." Elizabeth said.
"I wanted to give him the option." Gran said. "He doesn't wear it that often, but I figured he might want to, especially since both of his grandfathers will be wearing theirs."
"Cool." Elizabeth said.
"Everything okay?" Abigail asked.
"Doug took Cody to look at the foals." Gran said. "Lee and Nathan will be back up shortly. Jack is working on something in the office for a bit."
"Cody is going to love going and seeing the foals." Abigail said. "I just hope that we can work it so that he can ride on Sunday or he is not going to be happy."
"I am sure that between Jack and Nathan." Gran said. "They will figure something out."
"Do you ride?" Elizabeth said. "What about the other children?"
"I don't mind a trail ride once and while." Abigail said. "But I probably won't ride this weekend. Peter and Becky are looking forward to it."
"So they don't do anything else with the horses?" Elizabeth asked.
"No." Abigail said. "Peter never really showed an interest in anything more than a trail ride. I think Becky might want to jump. She has taken a few lessons, but she is in dance right now."
"I danced." Elizabeth said. "Maybe we can talk. I think I have a picture of me when I was about Becky's age or maybe a little younger. I will have to see if it is in the journal that I brought."
"I would love to see that." Abigail said. "I am sure Becky would love to tell you all about her dancing."
