Chapter 1 - I'm Sending the Raven
Plot: Found by Sidious, Rey is raised on Exegol as a Sith. While struggling with recurring dreams of her past life as Anakin, she's given her first mission - to infiltrate and destroy Luke's New Jedi Order.
Author's Note: This fic is a request by StefanyAntonietaEspa on Wattpad. :D Also, this is for the Obikin 2023 bingo. Yes, I know it's with Rey and Ben, but it's a reincarnation AU, so I think it counts. ^-^
~ Amina Gila
"Who chooses the Chosen One and why would they not choose another?"
"You are but a tool... which can be discarded when it no longer functions."
"Forget Padme. Forget the boy. Forget everything, but your Emperor."
The rivers of lava run far too close, and the black sand is scorching, even through the armor, or maybe it's the memory of another time – a time when it was someone else who walked away, instead of... Sidious.
Rey jolts awake, heart pounding, breathing in gasps. She's in her room on Exegol where she's awoken every time for the last seven years that she's been here. Not – not there, wherever there is. She doesn't know why she keeps dreaming about it, but tears are stinging her eyes at the assaulting memory.
That was her grandfather. He hurt her, and he – he –
That wasn't real. It was just a dream, like so many of the others she's had. She doesn't have anything to worry about, but she can't help it, either.
"You are but a tool... which can be discarded when it no longer functions."
Her grandfather has never said anything like that to her before, since he rescued her from Jakku and brought her here before she ended up a slave, but sometimes... He's always so demanding, he always wants her to be... exactly what he wants. He's 'teaching her strength' he always tells her, but that doesn't mean she doesn't wonder sometimes, what'll happen if she's not powerful enough like he wants.
And she can't shake from mind the sheer helplessness she was feeling in that moment in her nightmare, that desperation and crushing realization that no one wants her. Even if it makes no sense for her to feel like that, but the dreams are so real. She sees that place most of all, but usually it's... someone else who's walking away.
She's seen him many times before, in brief flashes, but they're not always negative. In some ways, that's most confusing. Often, seeing anything of him – whoever he is – floods her with an unbearable longing that she can never shake. It feels like something or someone is missing, and she just... It's always felt like that, though. She never remembers a time she hasn't felt this strange emptiness.
Rey inhales shakily, wiping her eyes on her sleeve, but trying to calm down is nearly impossible right now. It's not like she has anything else to do, though, so she rolls over, pulling her blanket tighter around her and trying to force herself back to sleep. Tomorrow is the day she's been training for, and she needs to be at her best. (Isn't that a joke? Does she even have a best?)
**w**
Usually when she wakes up from a nightmare in the night, it's at least somewhat faded by morning if she didn't have another one – that happens frequently enough – but everything is haunting Rey just as overwhelmingly when she wakes up the next morning.
It's never bright on Exegol, the sky always dark and stormy, even if in varying shades. There's no sunlight streaming in the small window in her room the way there might have been on Jakku, or on... whatever planet she lived on before, with her parents. She barely remembers anything of that time anymore. But it's light enough to know it's time to be up.
And today is that day. She has to be ready. She can't afford to make any mistakes on this first mission, or it's going to ruin everything her grandfather's been working for, for decades.
Constantly remembering his words in her nightmare is hardly helping.
She's also definitely not ready to go see him right now, but it's the last day she's going to, for the indefinite future. She can't imagine being away from him, entirely alone. (Just like she felt in that nightmare. Would he leave her, like – like what was happening in there, if she ruined this?)
Reluctantly, Rey slips from her bedroom, moving through the area they live in. It's not all enclosed, exactly, because Sidious doesn't mind being outside. He used to be Emperor. She doesn't know why it doesn't bother him, but it doesn't bother her, either, so she doesn't mind.
Sidious is already waiting when she gets there, which is... generally unusual. He's not late by nature, but he... usually shows up whenever it suits him. She knows he's busy, though. He's the one planning all of this, things beyond what she can even imagine.
He's the one who lost his Empire after all, when he did so much for the galaxy. The Rebellion and the Jedi overthrew him, believing him dead, and leaving him with the injuries he has now. She's never really asked the full extent of them but his face is scarred unimaginably, his hands are severely deformed, and he wears a... something to do with his spine so he can walk properly. He didn't seem to much appreciate her seven-year-old-self's curiosity on the subject, and she's never asked since.
"Your ship for the mission is ready," he tells her, and she tries to force away memories of the nightmare, being so close and hearing him talking, but it's not working. "It will have everything you need for your disguise of being from Jakku."
Another ship? That is something Rey's genuinely curious and a little eager to go see. She nods though, trying to focus.
"When you reach Ossus, you cannot let anyone suspect anything." Ossus is the home of the new Jedi Order, formed alongside the failing New Republic.
"I know, Grandfather," Rey replies quietly, with far more certainty than she feels. She has no idea what she's walking into, not really. Aside from what she's been told, she doesn't know what this new Order will be like. Nor does she have any idea how to go about pretending to be one, but she's supposed to be just joining the Order without knowing anything, so she... should be able to figure it out on the way. (Why does something about being a Jedi feel so right? She's dreamed about it before, about using a blue lightsaber alongside people who felt like family.)
"There can be no mistakes," he warns, "It could destroy everything I have built."
"I'm ready," Rey replies with an entirely feigned confidence. She doesn't feel it at all. She's trained, yes, but not in this. She's not good with people. Doesn't understand them – she hasn't been with anyone except her grandfather since she was very little, and she doesn't really remember anything before then.
But she can't fail. Their plans are counting on it and – and –
" – can be discarded when it no longer functions."
No. No, he has never acted like that towards her. He wouldn't think of her like that, right? He cares about her. Of course, he does. She's felt it, and their family. Family takes care of each other, and he's definitely taken care of her, but that doesn't change how real her nightmare felt, how badly it hurt to watch him walk away through the world of flames and ash.
"Rey," he says, sharply, and she nearly flinches at the sudden change in tone, "We've spoken about your... dreams enough in the past. You're letting them distract you."
Somehow, he always seems to roughly know what she's thinking about it, as unnerving as it can be. And this is something she's asked him about before, because she just wanted to know why. All her dreams, whether nightmares or not, always feel so real and she doesn't understand it.
"It – it isn't the normal ones," she protests, "It's something else, and I don't know what it means or..." She can't tell him that she dreamt of him walking away from her. She wouldn't be able to even if she tried.
"What was it?" he asks, still irked.
"I – " She has no idea how to answer that. She can't. He's never hurt her before, not unless it was for training purposes, so she doesn't know why she's suddenly so afraid he's going to. Or maybe it's because of how she felt in that nightmare.
Sidious reaches for her in the Force, and he does it often enough that she doesn't think twice of it, despite the strange distant whisper in her mind that he shouldn't do that. He prods her mental shields, and she... lets them down, a little automatically. It's just what he expects, always has since he first started teaching her about the Force, and she's never really questioned it. Even if sometimes...
After a few moments he pulls back, studying her with an unreadable look. "Rey," he says finally, something slightly gentler and possessive at once in his voice. He steps closer, laying a hand on her shoulder. "What you saw was... merely a dream. You are mine. You always have been."
She has no idea what to say to that.
"Who would choose the Chosen One – "
He's certainly choosing her now. So she has no idea why those words still felt so real, along with the agonizing knowledge that no one would ever want her. Maybe it... was just a dream, her mind choosing to replay that incident with her grandfather instead of whoever she usually sees there. (Why does she miss him so much, even when she doesn't know who he is?)
"You always will be mine. Do not question that."
Rey nods, tentatively. At least it... temporarily dispels any worries about that. It almost feels silly now that she was so upset about it, even if she still can't quite shake it from mind.
"You need to prepare to leave," Sidious says finally, pulling back, "We are running low on time."
**w**
Rey's crawling around her new ship, making a mental note of all the things she needs to fix on this piece of literal junk, when Sidious comes to find her. She knows what this means. It's time to leave.
And she tries not to feel nervous about it, but that doesn't seem very possible.
"This needs work," she says, jumping off the side she'd half-way clamored onto.
"It is intended to look like this," Sidious points out.
And just looking at it makes her feel bad about leaving it this way. "I'll fix it after I get to Ossus," she offers.
"Of course, you will," he agrees, and she thinks there's the faintest hint of fond exasperation there. He never shows affection the way she vaguely remembers her parents doing, but she can still see it sometimes.
And now it's... time for her to go. She has no idea how long this mission will take or when she'll be coming back to the place she's spent most of her remembered life.
She doesn't know what to say, but really, there's nothing to say.
Rey steps closer, wrapping her arms tightly around her grandfather. Sidious awkwardly pats her shoulder – he never seems quite sure how to react to this, for some reason.
"I – I'll miss you," she blurts, in spite of everything. Because she's going to. He's the only person, the only family, that she has.
"Let it fuel the Dark Side," Sidious replies, as she expected.
Reluctantly, she pulls back, unclipping the double bladed red lightsaber she's carried everywhere since she first got it. She can't take it with her, and it gives her a probably ridiculous sense of loss. She passes her lightsaber to Sidious, standing there and lingering a moment longer.
She's leaving him, the way her parents had left her on Jakku, and she's suddenly more afraid than nervous. She has no idea when she'll see him again.
"Go," he tells her finally, "And do not forget what I have taught you."
She nods, finally heading for the ship. It's time to leave Exegol, everything she's known for years, behind.
**w**
Now that she's here, Rey is just nervous. It's eating at her, because this is her first mission, her very first time alone, and she's – she's supposed to kill someone. She has never taken someone's life before, and she doesn't really want to either, even if it's that Luke Skywalker who hurt her grandfather. Even if she doesn't like him at all.
The planet is bright and green, and it's beautiful. After Exegol and Jakku, she hasn't really seen plants. Not like this, and it's beautiful. She wants to walk through it, to see everything there is to see, but she needs to focus on the mission, first.
Easier said than done, because she's going to see people, and she hasn't interacted with random strangers in a very long time. How is she supposed to act around the Jedi, people she's supposed to kill?
When the ship lands, and she climbs steps out into the dirt – she forgot what it looked like – everything feels... different. It's so bright and light and peaceful in ways she didn't know possible.
The Temple is supposed to be nearby. She just needs to... go there.
She stills when an oddly familiar presence washes over her. It's... somewhat earth-like, heavy and dense, but there's something soothing and familiar about it, too.
Rey stills, freezing when she sees it – him. Luke Skywalker. The Jedi Grandmaster. The – he's a legend to the galaxy, but to her, he's... he's an enemy, though she needs to worry about that later on. Not now, and Rey is literally living by that, because she can't imagine having to go up against him, now. But why does it feel like she's seen him before?
"I sensed your landing." He sounds just like she thought he would.
"Yeah," Rey tries, forcibly blinking herself from whatever haze freezing her mind. Focus. You've been over this thousands of times. "I wanted to learn more about the Jedi. There's something inside me, and now it's awake. I know it's called being Force-sensitive, and I've... learned some by myself, but I want to learn to use it. I want to be able to help, to do something with it."
Luke is appraising her and she can't read his face. She doesn't know how to do that. "Where are you from?" he asks finally.
"Jakku." That's where she was before she went to Exegol, and that's where she came from just now. It's... stop overthinking. He can sense her, and her nervousness, and she doesn't need him reading too far into her and figuring out something's wrong.
"What's your name?" he queries.
"Rey."
"Just Rey?" he asks, clarifying, and she nods. He doesn't sound suspicious about that, strangely enough, more sympathetic, and she can't imagine why. Doesn't that make her weird? Or suspicious?
"Have you ever been off Jakku?" he asks, and Rey freezes.
Panic builds inside her fast, but she forcibly tamps it down. Not now. She has no reason to panic. "I – I was somewhere before, but I..."
"It's alright," he soothes, "Your presence is familiar. I was wondering if I've seen you before."
"Oh." She feels stupid. Rey can sense the familiarity, too. She just thought she was the only one, because it feels like she lived another life somewhere and she thought she was the only one. Sidious never mentioned anything about the feelings she gets in a positive manner. Either way, Rey could swear she's seen Luke before, and she may have no inclination to trust him whatsoever, she still... something. Like she should care about him, at least, and Rey tries her best to viciously force that away, because while that's useful in helping her blend in, it doesn't help her mission at all.
That's why she's here. It's not some vacation or whatever nonsense many people go on.
Luke doesn't ask if she has parents or a family, and Rey is grateful for that, because she doesn't want to think about how her parents are gone. Sidious told her they're dead, and she's long come to accept that, but it still hurts.
"Being a Jedi is... a difficult challenge," Luke tells her, "Are you certain you are ready for that?"
Rey looks him in the eye, lifting her chin a little. "Yes." Not at all. She's terrified, but she doesn't have much choice, does she? It's not as though Rey has any other path forwards, and all she can do is keep moving down on it.
**w**
"I want you to show her around," Luke requests, "And... keep an eye on her."
Ben nods, albeit a bit distracted. "What's wrong with her?" It's blunt, but he's wondering. He sensed her the moment she exited hyperspace, and he's never felt that before.
"I don't know," his uncle admits. "She feels familiar. I can't remember seeing her before."
"That doesn't mean very much," Ben points out, because it really doesn't – Luke has seen many people in his life. He couldn't remember all of them.
"I know," Luke assures, "But there is something about her that... I'm not entirely sure her intentions are sincere. Just be careful."
"Of course," he replies – as if there's something he would need to be careful of. He's the best of the padawans, and that's not arrogance speaking. He's a Skywalker, and he has a strength in the Force that no one else does. Luke is stronger than him, as is his mother, but they are the only people Ben knows who are.
But there is something about her. He feels it even stronger when he actually sees her – there is something important about her. Just seeing her makes Ben feel a strange sense of wholeness that he has never felt before. It's unnerving, but it's strangely soothing, too. He feels... whole?
He's often missed someone throughout the years, but he could never make sense of the emotion before. But it feels like it's been filled now, and that's weird. Especially when it's by a barely teenage girl who he's never even met before. And one who he apparently doesn't know if he can trust.
She feels strangely on edge in the Force, which makes sense if she knows nothing of the Jedi – considering how much of the galaxy worships them – but Luke warned him to be wary of her, so he's going to keep a close eye on everything.
"You're Rey?" he asks, studying her.
She nods, fidgeting. "Yeah." Something about the way she's looking at him makes him wonder if she feels the same way he does, but it's not something he knows how to ask about.
"I'm Ben Solo," he replies, "Uncle Luke asked me to show you around, get you settled in."
Rey blinks in obvious surprise. "You're his nephew?"
He nods, though he genuinely would've thought she already knew that from his name. Or maybe it's that he's so used to everyone knowing who he is, from how famous his parents and uncle are. "Come on."
Rey trails him as he steps into the Temple, an obvious hint of uncertainty around her. She looks so young. Why is she here all alone, anyway? "How old are you?"
"Fourteen."
"Aren't you a little young to be by yourself?" He's never even been on his own before, not really, and he's already twenty-four.
She shrugs, gaze darting away from him. "It's how I had to survive, on... Jakku."
Was she a slave there? Ben can't help wondering. He easily sees how she could have been. "Why do you want to be a Jedi?" he asks, mostly idle curiosity, but also because it might give him a hint of... something.
"I always heard a lot about them," Rey replies, "And I... wanted to help." There's something dark there, when she says that, but he doesn't press for details.
"What do you know about the Force?" That's the most important place to start, if he's going to be her teacher. He's helped the younger students before, but he's never been outright in charge of teaching one.
"... It's a power the Jedi have that lets them control people and make things float," she offers, maybe a little too hopefully.
Is she serious? "Wrong," he replies, flatly. Evidently, he'll have a lot of explaining to do.
She deflates a little. "But that's..."
"What you heard in legends?"
Rey nods, uncertainly.
"It may be somewhat true from a simplified perspective, but that's not what the Force is." He can't help noticing, though, that the way she keeps reaching out with the Force implies a certain level of experience. Either she's self-trained a lot, or she knows a little more than she's letting on.
**w**
It's an entirely new world here on Ossus. When Rey awakens in her new room at the Jedi Temple for the first time the next morning, it takes a moment to reorient herself to where she is.
The atmosphere is so different. It's strangely Light here, and she can feel the buzz of life outside her room, even if not that many people are here. She... often felt lonely on Exegol, but now that she's here and has the opportunity to actually be around people, she's suddenly nervous. Especially because these aren't just any people. It's the Order she's supposed to be destroying.
They don't seem so bad at first glance, but Sidious warned her about that. Everyone in the galaxy was blinded by them, until everything just... exploded, literally.
And she's supposed to be getting to her classes with Ben on time, which she's maybe a little more excited for than she should be, and that spurs her into motion. She wouldn't want him to be annoyed by her showing up late.
"Have you ever meditated before?" Ben inquires, sitting cross-legged across from her, in a side training room of the Temple. It's so bright and Light here, full of plant life outside that she can sense. She hasn't sensed so much life in so long, and she can't stop reaching out to feel it.
"I... Not really." Just in the Dark Side, and obviously she can't mention that. "What do I do?"
"It's meant so you can find a center of calm within yourself," he explains, "If you've never done it before it will be difficult, but you need to let go of any emotions, and let yourself feel the Force."
That... is never how she's done it before. Sidious always says her emotions make her stronger. Wouldn't the Jedi want to be powerful? Not that she can ask, though, so she tries to follow Ben's instructions, closing her eyes and focusing on breathing, just trying to... be.
It's not very easy. The first emotion that worms its way into her mind unwillingly is a sudden tinge of guilt. Ben is training her, with no reason to distrust why she's here, and she's... doing this so she can destroy everything he believes in. Even if he's wrong, doing that still feels wrong.
Which only serves to remind her of everything Sidious has told her about how the Empire was helping everyone and then it was destroyed – the emotions that makes her feel is something she's often focused on when meditating, and it's coming far more naturally than this.
Especially when she can't fail her mission, and she's so afraid that's going to happen.
"If it isn't working," Ben's voice interrupts, snapping her back to present, "Just recenter yourself and try again. Stop trying to fight."
... Oops?
"I'm trying," she says, hastily, trying to force away the thoughts. He's probably sensing the Dark Side in her now. That's bad.
"Fighting them will only make it harder. It's... natural to struggle with darker emotions if you're not raised a Jedi. I have, too."
"You?" Rey asks, eyes flying open.
He studies her for a moment, a look in his eyes that she finds oddly intense. She doesn't really know what to think of him, or this strange connection she feels. She's missed someone so much for so long, and now that she's here, it – it feels like that emptiness was suddenly filled.
Which doesn't make sense if what she was missing has to do with her dreams, right?
His Force presence feels strangely familiar, too. It whips like a hurricane, but being at the center like she is now is oddly calming. She's never felt anyone this powerful who wasn't also so... Dark. Like her grandfather. Ben is darker than she expected for a Jedi though, but not necessarily in a bad way.
"That's part of why my uncle wanted to train me," Ben replies, "So I would learn to control it. But I know it can be hard. Just try again."
She does try again, feeling the hurricane that his presence is whip next to her, grounding her in the present moment.
It doesn't feel anything like Dark Side meditation. It's oddly... light and peaceful, in a way she's never felt before. It's calming, and she doesn't remember the last time she really felt that.
And if she's being entirely honest with herself, she... kind of likes it. Even if she really, really shouldn't. But she has to play the part of a Jedi in training right now, so that probably isn't such a bad thing. She'll have to act like one for now.
Final Notes: Reviews are always appreciated! ^-^
Come hang out on Discord (delete spaces), discord . gg / nqSxuz2 or find us on tumblr at fanfictasia (our more serious blog which does have controversial posts on it; I won't be offended if you choose to block it, promise), and disastertriowriting (which is our fun blog with crack posts or incorrect SW quotes)
We've got a YT channel for tributes! (delete the spaces) youtube channel / UC_g1M5rSCxJUzQCRS29B6pA
ALSO: We have SW gift request forms for General, Anakin-Clones-centric, and Bad Batch fics. :D (delete spaces) bit . ly / CourtesyTrefflinFicRequests
