Similarities
Dissidia: Final Fantasy
Characters: Cloud Strife, Laguna Loire, mentioning of Zack Fair.
Notes: Idea popped into my head of Cloud mistaking Laguna for Zack in one of his sleepwalking/nightmare episodes and it kinda evolved from there. Doesn't have much else to it aside from the heavy angst on Cloud's side and Laguna being the caring guy he is. I guess this can be taken as a surprise gift ficlet for ALynnL, cinnerman, and Chaos_Silk? Surprise guys. Hope y'all enjoy it. 3
It had been several days since Cloud had been called to Servannia at the Gods' behest and he was once again unsettled in the new world, his body tense and anxious.
Sleep did not come easily to him and when it did, it was filled with plaguing nightmares of his past.
This was such a night, and the blond was unaware that he'd begun to sleepwalk.
His body moved on its own in no set direction through the tower that belonged to Cosmos, sweat beading down his brow and cheeks with his eyelids clenched shut and brows furrowed as he went.
"Mn... No... Not again..." He mumbled, voice filled with pain as his head shook from side to side as if he was trying to come to his senses, his eyes opened but the glow to his mako-blue eyes were glassy and vacant.
"Zack... Zack please... We have to..." He continued as he passed through a hall and made his way down some steps, his voice sounding a little urgent, pained and quiet as if trying to whisper but not quite able to.
His movements disturbed a single soul that had happened to still be awake at this hour.
Laguna Loire woke from his mini-nap to realize how late it was and had thought to head up to the sleeping quarters, but the sound of shuffling and another body suddenly entering the lobby of the Tower startled him briefly.
"Huh? Who's there?" He questioned as he got up and turned to look.
It was one of the newer arrivals, but they were familiar. Cloud Strife.
"Cloud? What're you doing out here? Can't sleep?" He asked.
It was only then that he noticed the glossy, distant gaze of the other as they walked by, mumbling something he couldn't quite make out.
Panic momentarily welled up in Laguna because this wasn't usual or normal from what he'd seen of the other and he quickly got up and followed after the other and placed a hand on their shoulder, getting them to still.
He tried again.
"Cloud?" He questioned softly.
"Zack... It hurts..." Cloud responded, turning his lidded gaze towards the other, but Laguna saw they weren't really registering his surroundings.
Zack? Who was that? Laguna didn't understand, because he didn't know much about Cloud's past, the other didn't deign to share much.
"Cloud, wake up. You're dreaming." He spoke again, attempting to get the other to come back to consciousness.
"Zack... Hurry, we've got to...go... Before he comes back..." Cloud whispered, his expression contorting into one of fear, a grimace on his lips. His body began shaking and the sweat continued to bead and drip down his temples.
Laguna frowned and reached a hand up to wipe some of the sweat away from the other's brow, moving his other hand to place it on the other's arm reassuringly.
"Cloud, it's okay. You're safe now. Wake up, it's just a nightmare. You're dreaming." Laguna soothed, frowning in concern and sympathy for the other.
"..." Cloud's eyes slipped shut at that and his body fell still and he simply remained breathing.
"Cloud, wake up." Laguna tried one more time, bringing a hand up to gently cup the man's cheek in concern.
The blond's eyes fluttered and he let out a quiet groan and when his eyelids opened again, his glowing mako-blue eyes were hazy and clouded, but attempting to focus.
"Huh...? Z-Zack...? You're..." Cloud stuttered.
Laguna shook his head. "Cloud, it's me, Laguna. You were dreaming."
Cloud's eyes began to blink and after a moment, they snapped open wide, startled and panicked and he jumped back from the other as if he were expecting to be attacked.
"Whoa, hey. It's okay, Cloud. It's just me. Laguna, remember?" The dark haired gunner asked.
Cloud blinked again, his body slowly untensing before he slowly looked around at his surroundings. "What...? How did I...?" He mumbled before fixing Laguna with a wildly bemused expression.
Laguna gave the other a sympathetic look. "You were sleepwalking, apparently having some kind of a nightmare and mistaking me for someone named Zack." He informed gently.
Pain filled the blond swordsman's eyes and he quickly looked away, a new, different grimace appearing on his face. "...It's nothing." He responded, attempting to sound distant.
Laguna frowned himself, sighing. "Hey... I don't know much about anything you've gone through, but by the sounds of it... Whatever it was, it was something pretty dark and deep. You shouldn't hold onto that kind of thing all by yourself." He counseled.
Cloud's eyes narrowed and turned into a mildly sharp glare towards the other, but when he looked at the other, for a split second an image of Zack was there instead and he had to do a doubletake before he hastily shook his head. "It doesn't matter..." He excused.
Laguna didn't know why, but he felt like he had to push. Just this short exchange emotionally charged him, he had seen the sheer emotions that ranged on the other prior to their waking and now they'd stuffed it all behind a wall and it reminded him all too much of someone else he knew.
"It does matter," He responded, voice stronger than he'd thought he could make it as he gave the other a stubborn look. "If you keep all that stuff inside of you, it's gonna take its toll and you'll explode. It isn't healthy or good for your health physically, emotionally, or mentally." He warned, softening his tone out again, letting the concern he felt come through.
Cloud's shoulders began shaking after a moment and their fists clenched. "Why do you have to sound just like him?" He questioned aloud, though neither were sure if he was actually asking it to Laguna or not.
"...Tell me about them. This Zack person." Laguna requested, gesturing to the sofa he'd been occupying a few feet away. "You don't have to tell me the whole story, but if you say I'm like them, I wanna know what they were like."
"..." Cloud bit on his lip, closing his eyes. He looked down to his clenched fists and let out a deep sigh, shaking his head. "...I can't." He answered in a low voice.
"Why not?" Laguna pushed.
"...It hurts." The other answered in a near whisper.
"Sometimes, you have to work through the pain in order to move on." Laguna responded.
Cloud's eyes snapped back to the other in another glare. "I can never move on from that!" He hissed angrily.
"From what?" Laguna pushed, voice a little louder, stronger.
"From-" Cloud's voice hitched, choking on his own breath.
The blond's body began to shake again and the pain returned to their eyes and a look of utter despair came to their gaze before they were hidden behind eyelids as they squeezed them shut.
Laguna stepped closer to the other, once again reaching a hand out and placed it against the other's arm in a gentle reassurance. "Let it out," He urged. "You don't need to hold it all back and in."
He saw the cracks forming, the way the other was fighting with himself as their eyes opened again to stare at him in a pleading look, eyes clouded with turmoil and grief.
"...Zack...saved me...us...and died fighting to bring us back to Midgar. I... I watched him die. My Sword... It's his. He...gave it to me... It was his mentors... Told me it carried on their Hopes and Dreams... He... He was... ...A Hero..." Cloud mumbled brokenly.
A quiet, broken sound like a sob tried to escape the blond's throat but was cut off midway.
Laguna reached up with his free hand and carefully, almost hesitantly placed his hand ontop of the others head and gave their hair and gently ruffle of soothing.
"They sound incredible." Laguna responded.
Tears were welling in the blond's eyes and they couldn't fight them back. They spilled over and he took in a shaky gasp of air, choking on yet another sob.
The next thing he was aware of, warmth was surrounding him and a solid pressure was against his front. Cloud blinked his tear-filled eyes, realizing Laguna was hugging him.
It had been so long since he'd been hugged or had any affection like this. The last person who really had hugged him had been Zack.
"You're so much like him, it hurts..." He breathed out through his ragged gasps.
"Sorry," Laguna responded. "I'm me, but if I remind you of him, then isn't that a good thing? You shouldn't forget how he was, but remember the good things about them, not the end." He hugged the blond tighter.
Unable to fight the emotions, something completely broke within Cloud and he pressed his face to Laguna's shoulder and let the tears fully come. His hands rose of their own accord to latch onto the dark haired male and hold on for dear life.
"That's it, just let it come." Laguna encouraged gently as he brought his hand to run comfortingly down the other's back, letting them release what they would out against him.
It was an undiscernible amount of time that passed before Cloud stopped crying. When he finally, slowly pulled back from Laguna's embrace his eyes looked so tired and worn out.
Laguna pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket and offered it wordlessly to the other.
Cloud accepted it slowly and wiped his face, staying quiet. He felt awkward now.
The dark haired man seemed to sense it and spoke up. "You should head back and get some rest now." He suggested.
Cloud looked at Laguna in exhaustion, opening his mouth to say something in response, but instead he sighed in a heavy, defeated way. "...Okay..." He agreed quietly.
"Take care of yourself. Rest." Laguna ordered firmly, giving the other a mildly stern look before it softened into his typical caring one as he gave them a slight smile. "The morning will be better, you'll see."
Cloud stared at them a little while longer. "...Smile like that again." He murmured.
"Huh? Like what?" Laguna cocked his head curiously.
"Like you just did..."
"Like this?" Laguna asked, attempting to smile the same way again. His usual cheerfulness slipped into it.
"...Yeah. Zack used to smile the same way and would tell me everything would be alright. For a moment...things felt okay." Cloud said.
"Oh," Laguna responded before shaking his head. "Well, I'm not Zack, but this is my usual smile I guess you could say. But if it helps, I'll smile as much as you'd like."
"...I know. You're not Zack. But I still see him in you." Cloud responded before he turned and took a few steps towards the stairs again.
He paused briefly, hesitating before he turned his head to look back towards the other.
"Laguna..." He called softly.
"Huh? Yeah?" Laguna blinked.
"...Thanks."
Laguna positively beamed and in that smile, Cloud once again saw a flash of Zack in it and found his lips tilting upwards just a little in response.
"Anytime, Cloud. Get some rest." Laguna responded.
"Yeah..." The blond nodded his head before straightening back and wordlessly ascended up the stairs and headed down the long corridor back to his room.
He fell asleep easier than he expected, and not a single dream or nightmare came to him.
He awoke the next morning feeling more rested than he had in a very long time.
Maybe, just maybe...
Laguna was right.
"Tomorrow will be better, huh...?" Cloud voiced aloud as he stood up.
He looked out his window to the sun shining down across the land and allowed the rays of light to sink into his system as he found the slightest edges of a smile forming on his face.
It hurt still, but...
Zack's name didn't ring with despair and sorrow now.
Instead...
Something like Hope arose.
He walked towards the door, reaching a hand out and letting his fingers wrap around the handle of the Buster Blade and lifted it, staring down at the large sword.
"...I'll do my best." He spoke aloud to no one in particular before he twirled the blade and placed it in its rightful place on the holster on his back before exiting the room.
He missed the way the light from the window shone brighter for a fleeting second and the flickering wisp of a white-green mote.
'You'll be okay, Cloud.'
-End-
