I woke up feeling the most refreshed I had ever felt. There was something truly magical about waking up in your own bed, I guess. Especially in mattresses that felt like you were being hugged by a cloud.
I looked around the room to see that Lucas was gone. I felt my heart sink a little, but I was quick to steel it again. That night meant nothing, your confession meant nothing and the way you felt safe and protected and loved truly meant nothing.
I went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth and freshened up. Then, I walked down to the kitchen hoping I had something better than expired juice.
As I opened the fridge and cabinets to see what was available, the back door opened and in walked Lucas.
"Lucas!" I yelled, completely startled. "What are you doing here?"
"Did you know, you literally have nothing edible in this house?" he queried.
"Yeah, well I never sleep here and I can't cook to save my life, so I never really go grocery shopping," I mumbled.
"So what do you eat then?!" he exclaimed.
"I don't know, I eat at the cafeteria, sometimes at some diners and cafes. I skip a lot of meals," my eyes wouldn't find him as suddenly the floor seemed so much more interesting.
"Come on, sit, I got us takeout from my mom's cafe. I got pancakes, french toast, oatmeal and coffee," he said. "Also, sorry but I did take your car to go get this stuff."
"Never did I ever think Lucas Scott would be the kind of guy that brought his lay breakfast," I said in a condescending tone.
"Lucky for me, we did not sleep together!" he responded.
I felt my eyes go wide! Dammit!
"Besides, I was really hungry and you literally didn't even have a piece of fruit in that humongous kitchen!"
"Can we eat?" I asked, changing the topic. "We can sit out in the garden if you want, or there's the breakfast nook."
"Garden sounds fun. I don't think I've ever really done breakfast in a garden!" he said, picking up the bag that carried the food. I got out all the kitchenware from the cabinets and followed him out the back door.
"The garden is beautiful Brooke!" Lucas said, looking at the vast expanse behind the pool that was the backyard.
"Yeah, we have a gardener and helper come once a week for the upkeep. They are husband and wife, and they are the sweetest. Their son got accepted for an internship at NASA! It was all very cool," I gabbed. "Sorry, sometimes I talk a lot without realising what I'm doing."
"I don't mind, it's kinda cute," he responded. I instantly blushed, and then blushed some more over the fact that I was blushing in front of this boy.
"It's sweet to see this caring side of you, Brooke. I have only ever seen you stir the pot and cause trouble," he cited.
I just shrugged my shoulders, nursing my coffee.
"This is probably the last good memory I have of my parents. Before all the yelling and the fighting and the separate vacations," I found myself confessing. "My dad sat where you are sitting as he read the morning paper. My mom smiled at me, just because and was telling my dad about her plans for the day. I just sat between the two of them and watched as we ate breakfast. Sometimes I wonder if it was real or if I just made it up in my head. I was only 4, maybe 5 at the time. I just sit here sometimes, trying to remember that feeling, that belongingness but, it feels so foreign and so far away. Que sera sera, I guess."
Lucas didn't say anything except that he was sorry for what I had to go through and that nobody should have to go through that, just like I expected. What could you even answer? We just ate quietly together.
"Please tell your mom that her food was absolutely delicious!" I said to him once we were done eating.
"Actually, my mom is away. This was all Aunt Deb's making," he responded.
"Okay, thank her then," I said. "Where is your mom?"
"That's a story for another time," he said, scratching his head, as if he was making up his mind whether to lie or come clean. I knew better than to push the subject.
We finished the meal in silence after that, but it was not awkward. He offered to help with the dishes, but I declined since it was he who had put in the effort to even get the food.
Then I got a text from Peyton saying that she wanted to go to the music store as there were some new vinyls that were coming in that day and Lucas already had plans to go play basketball with his friends at the river court.
I offered to drive Lucas to the Blue Post since his car was still parked there from last night before driving to Peyton's place and Lucas took me up on the offer.
I dressed in an oversized black and white striped tee that fell from my shoulders, revealing the straps of my purple bra and some ripped jean shorts.
I felt his jaw drop as he saw me, but I was used to that kind of thing so I just continued as I brushed my hair and put on some lip gloss.
Once I had dropped him outside the bar, he came to my window and leaned in.
"Don't go out tonight. I will be there at seven," he said to me.
This made my jaws drop. Wh-whatttttt!
I just gave one stiff nod before riding away. What was I getting myself into?
"So, what have you been upto these past few days? I've barely seen you," said Peyton as we walked around the store browsing through the numerous records on display.
"Not alot, you know, parties, drinks, sex, the usual," I shrugged.
"Someday, you're gonna settle down and then you're gonna feel so much better, Brooke Penelope Davis!" she said in a casual tone.
"Oh the horror!" I exaggerated. "Maybe you could give me some tips, future Mrs. Jagelski. Oh, but wait, won't you have to talk to him first?"
"Heyyy! What do you mean?" She tried to pretend that she had no idea what I was talking about.
"Oh don't act so oblivious Peyton! Everyone except the two of you know that you two are completely head over heels for each other! It's only fair to us Jeyton shippers that you two hook up!" I explained.
"Yeah, but he has a baby and sooo much more experience than me. I don't think I can do that, I need things to be slow," she confessed.
"Oh Pey! Just talk to him. Communication solves 99% of our problems. I'm sure Jake will go at your pace and as for baby Jenny, she literally looked at you and said something that resembled Mama after the last basketball match. You babysit for her like every other day," I responded.
"It sounds so simple when you put it like that, but god when you have to do it, it's just so much harder because you don't want to get your hopes crushed and heart broken. As long as you keep it tight-lipped, it's all so safe," she continued.
"Yeah, but where is the living without a few risks? At least you have a boy that loves you, I know we don't have tangible evidence for it, but I can tell. Me, I am just a body that is desired. Nobody wants to fall in love with me, all they want is to sleep with me. That is all I get," I said sullenly.
"I love you, Brooke Davis!" she said, giving me a hug.
"I love you too, P Sawyer," I responded, hugging her back.
I heard my doorbell ring at sharp seven. I was not ready for this. Brooke Davis was not a charity case.
I opened the door, just an inch, not letting him enter. Getting out to the porch, I leaned against my door.
"Hey Lucas. You see, I really appreciate what you are doing for me, I am. It is really sweet and all, but I am fine. I can take care of myself. I don't need someone to come and babysit me. You have your own family, so why don't you just go there. I mean, it's not like you can move in with me or anything. So let's just get ahead to the goodbye to avoid all the mess," I ranted.
"B, I can clearly see that all this is just a huge facade you're putting up. You're afraid to do something about this because if it is good, you're afraid I will abandon you. Am I right? I can read it in your eyes. They are so vulnerable. It's not a negative thing to be vulnerable, Brooke," he said to me.
I inhaled a sharp breath, because I was certain that would be my last. Nobody in the sixteen years of my existence had been able to read me so well. Not even Peyton who had been my best friend for thirteen of those years. How was Lucas damn Scott, who had been nothing but a stranger to me not even a few days ago, could tell all of this looking at my eyes!
My mouth was open, gaping as I waited for the earth beneath my feet to crack and swallow me whole. When that didn't happen, I forced my mind to think of plan B. I just ran to the steps of my house and bolted through the door, closing them with a resounding thud.
Lucas knocked a few times, screaming for me, but I didn't budge.
After an hour, the sounds of the buzzer ceased and I saw his pickup truck leave the driveway.
I let out a breath I did not know I was holding. Needing to let loose all the pent up energy that my tumultuous emotions had brought up, I picked up my sketch pad, my brain brimming with new ideas and designs that I just had to paper that instant from the fear of forgetting a tiny detail.
At around midnight, I retreated to my bed, but I lay awake like a zombie. Thirty minutes passed and I was still staring at the ceiling. Suddenly, I saw someone slide open the doors that led to my balcony. I screeched, trying to grab my phone to call 911!
"What! Lucas!" I yelled, when the moonshine hit his face, lighting a part of his silhouette.
He did not greet me with a smile. In fact, he gave me the cold shoulder, hard!
Pulling his shirt off, he made his way to my bed. I did not say anything, too frozen, just watching it all happen. His head touched the soft pillows, his arms automatically finding my waist, curling around my still seated frame.
A million thoughts raced through my brain, I contemplated whether I should kick him out or whether I should feel endeared. I wondered why he cared. I wondered if he wanted sex. I wondered whether my heart and brain were in sync because my heat was blinking red, telling me to flee before I got attached lest my heart should shatter to dust. My heart on the other hand was fluttering, wanting to just curl into his frame.
"I'll think about it tomorrow!" I muttered to myself, cutting off my Thought Trail and just giving into the warmth that engulfed me in his safe arms.
