Chapter 1 - Sven
The cold and musty air of the dungeon hit me as soon as I opened the door. I felt a twinge of irritation when I heard the noise of metal bars being rattled, almost as soon as I entered the dungeon. I knew what was about to happen next.
"Let me out!" an ear splitting shriek reached my ears, before I had even had the chance to descend the long and steep stairway.
I walked over to the prison cell where the shriek came from. Thyra's left eye had been swollen shut by now. She was so easy on the eyes with her clear and translucent complexion, piercing blue eyes and harmonious facial features. I did not truly want to mangle her unforgettably beautiful face. But the black-eye was necessary in order to prevent any future breakout attempts from occurring.
My heart swelled with affection for the small dog breed that I'd named Freyr. He was curled up on the straw-filled mattress that Thyra slept in. I had brought him down here, so that he could keep her company. I was not the monster that she tried to make me out to be. She loved that dog, yet she did not show me any gratitude for giving him to her.
"Let me out, you monster!" Thyra was looking at me with her open eye. She was still beautiful, but the swollen face and her ugly black-eye made me recoil. She smelled. And the sound of her voice! Uncontrolled and almost animalistic, not pleasant at all. I was disgusted by her sitting there screaming. "You should be glad I treat you well, even though you are so reprehensible" I blurted out. "You look terrible!" The words had an instant effect on her. She lowered her gaze, ran her hand over the matted hair, and was silent for a moment. The dog, frightened by our loud voices, barked from his corner. "Freyr! Come here and see what I brought for you". I picked up the leftover piece of meat from my breakfast, and the dog tore it from my hand and ran back to his place, growling and chewing eagerly. I turned my face away for a moment, the creature made me smile, and I definitely didn't want to show that to Thyra. A few seconds later I turned to her. "I've brought some for you as well". Thyra grabbed the dry piece of bread from my fingers and began working the hard crust with her teeth. Ugh, she really made me cringe. She chewed on that bread, like a pig eating in the mud. When there was nothing left to eat she licked her fingers for a while. "I am begging you, please let me out of here. I will go away and you will never hear from me, or see me ever again. No one will understand that you let me go. Please…" Her voice was mild now, nearly whispering. Her body was rocking, almost as if she had lost control of her movements. Tears were slowly rolling down her cheeks, she was crying without a sound. "Why would I do that? I have nothing to gain from that. Forget it!" I went over to the dog, scratching him behind his ears. "You need to come out and run free for a while" I said, and brought him along with me as I turned my back to Thyra. As I left her in the moist dungeon, I could hear her sobbing, it was soft and weak, as if she had given up life totally. "Please don't take him, I can't be here alone, I'll do anything". Her screaming from before had disappeared, and I felt confident that she would be more cooperative next time I was going to give her something to eat, but I should let her wait for a few days.
The dog was happy seeing the daylight again. I bent down and grabbed a stick, and we played together for a while. How he made me laugh, little Freyr! He almost made me forget that I was meeting Kjartan in the evening. I hurried back home and Freyr jumped up on my lap, when I took a short nap.
Kjartan and I should meet by the fireplace, in the valley near the forest. Freyr was helping me, carrying a stick in his mouth, when I collected wood to make a fire. We went back several times before we had collected enough wood to make a fire. I put the sticks in a neatly organized pile, easy to light. After a while the fire was big and the warmth spread in my body. Scents of smoke and soil filled my nose and I felt a chill in the air as the dusk fell. Freyr jumped up, barking at Kjartan, who appeared from the forest. He had brought a large piece of meat that we grilled over the embers. He also brought a large mug of mead with him. "It's time to drink" he laughed, with grease from the food running down his beard. We ate and drank, talked and laughed together.
It was very dark now, I couldn't see the edge of the forest anymore. My head was spinning and I felt the mead taking over my head as I layed on the ground, staring up at the sky. A totally clear, deeply black sky with stars in a multitude that never ended, they went on and on forever. My dizziness took over and I lost track of time and space, it felt as if I became one with the universe. Suddenly, a memory hit my mind with full power. A memory from many years ago, another dark night, when I was sitting by the fireplace with my father. I must have been around ten years old. I was so happy, sitting there with the man I admired most of all. It wasn't often he paid any attention to us children, and I enjoyed every moment in his company. He came really close to me and placed his arm around my shoulders. I felt so proud, filled with love and affection. I sat as if frozen, not daring to do anything that could ruin the moment. "Look at the stars, my son. They are beautiful. Bright and shiny! Just as I always wished my son would be. They are nothing like you, who I have to call my son. What a disgrace." I remember the tears rolling down my face. I was furious, because I wanted to act like a man, not a crying toddler.
I looked at Kjartan and from nowhere the anger surged through me. I couldn't control my emotions anymore, I screamed, cried and roared until my voice broke. I wanted to hit, hurt, and destroy. "I'm going to kill you!" I found my ax and slashed mindlessly around me, destroying everything in my path. Finally I looked into Kjartan's shocked eyes and hissed "I will kill you father". Kjartan grabbed a glowing stick from the fireplace and pushed it hard into my arm. The pain caused me to lose my grip on the ax, which fell to the ground. I did the same. I shivered with emotions and adrenaline. I had lost all my power and fell into a sleep as if I was unconscious.
When I woke up, it was already full daylight. Kjartan was gone and my body was aching. I laid on my back for a long time, and I wasn't able to stand up. The sun burnt me, but I froze in the heat when I saw a black shadow in the sky. A crow! The fear spread in my body, I knew too well what that sign meant - something really bad was going to happen. When I finally started breathing normally again, I forced myself up. The walk back to the village was terrible. Freyr was at my side and made me continue despite the pain.
Many years after this episode, Kjartan kept saying that the apple doesn't fall far away from the tree. I never understood what he meant.
Chapter 2 - Uhtred
There was a knock at the door. Mildrith opened it and we found Brida standing on the threshold. She was holding a small boar with an arrow buried in its chest, in her arms. She would often go hunting in the forest nearby in order to keep us nourished, which I was grateful for.
"I am sorry, we do not let swine into the house" Mildrith said in an inauthentically apologetic tone and then added while smirking and tilting her head to the side, "but the pig may come inside"
"Uhtred, did you hear what she just called me!? Say something!" Brida exclaimed, her face turning beetroot red with anger. When I kept quiet, she intentionally bumped into Mildrith forcefully, as she walked past her.
Ever since Ragnar and Brida had moved in, Mildrith and Brida had been going at it hammer and tongs with these types of insults on a daily basis, like two quarrelsome children. It was driving me mad and making me greatly look forward to setting out to find Thyra, along with Ragnar. It was utterly unappealing to witness and made my attraction towards both of them disappear. Brida and Ragnar arrived about a week ago, unannounced. We soon agreed upon attempting to rescue Ragnar's sister from Sven's clutches, seeing as rumor had it that she was being held against her will in Northumbria. Brida wanted to tag along, but I told her that someone needed to stay here and keep Mildrith safe. Brida's arrival had driven a wedge between Mildrith and I, to top it off. We used to get along and co-exist in peace, but now I had to constantly listen to her complaints. It was exhausting. She would also urge me to tell them to leave, which I admit was an appealing course of action, seeing as it would put an end to their insanely irritating quarrels. But it was out of the question, seeing as Brida was like family to me.
"For the love of Thor, will the two of you just give it a rest!" I snapped and got up from the table.
A mere sound from any one of them right now would make me snap, so I decided to head to Ragnar in hope for some peace and quiet as well as discussing the possible mishaps that could present on our long journey to Northumbria. Revenge was running through my veins, occupying every single nerve in my body, enslaving me in a never ending circle of hatred and bloodthirst. Revenge was near, and I could smell it in the air.
The day for our departure arrived sooner rather than later. Packed and ready, our long and tough journey began with ease, although the wind was gruesome. As we rode through thick woods and long, muddy fields, the wind was biting and tearing into us. Yet we continued with one single achievement gnawing in our minds. Find Sven. Find Kjartan. Rescue Thyra.
It wasn't until we reached a river bank and could faintly recognize what seemed like cottages in the distance that we stopped for some rest.
"Now whomst are intruding on our sacred land uninvited? Present yourselves!" A quite rotten lady stepped out of the gloomy atmosphere that had enveloped over what seemed to be the beginning of an ancient town.
"We have come a long journey from the south, and we're seeking some place safe for a bit of a rest. Is there perhaps any space for us here?" The lady inspected every single part of me and Ragnar and deemed we were no trouble, alas letting us pass her and enter the dimly lit pathway.
"You are welcome to stay here as long as you don't intrude. You shall not interfere with our slaves. And do not, I repeat, do not go near the river. It is far more dangerous than you could ever expect." And she led us to one of the older looking cabins for us to stay before leaving us alone.
"A bit of a strange one, isn't she?" Ragnar snickered before pulling off the thick clothing covering his chest.
"Let's save up energy for tomorrow, we cannot afford any long stops after this." I let revenge overtake my thoughts and words. Impatiently waiting for dawn to arrive while keeping warm to prepare for the weather conditions we may face. The lady offered us ale and bread, which we gratefully accepted, after all it was a way for us to portion out our rations to more food per day.
Night fell over the town and the moon was gleaming in through the window, distracting me from my drowsy bubble. I decided a quick walk would tire me out enough, even though the long travel should have been more than enough to assist me to fall into a deep slumber out of pure exhaustion. After walking around the area of our chosen residence, suddenly a loud noise echoed through the trees. It was nearing me so my first instinct told me to pull out Serpent-Breath. I felt myself shuddering, a chill running down my spine. An almost evil laugh resonated, and soon the old lady appeared before me, smirking.
"I knew you would show up here someday. It is your fate to receive from me the greatest gift of all time, Uhtred." Confusion washed upon me, afraid for dear life.
"How do you know my name?" I stuttered out, evidently worried.
"How do I not, you should ask instead. As I said, I have waited for your arrival. Now, you have two choices here. Either, you receive something that will greatly benefit the one thing you're looking for, or without lifting a finger your deepest wish will come to life. Now, which one is it, boy?" I felt perplexed, doubtful of the lady and her almost mischievous manner when speaking. Almost like she was trying to deceive me. However there was still sincerity in her tone, which bewitched me. With one single thought in mind, I finally spoke.
"The first one."
"Good choice, my boy. Follow me." And she led us to a narrow pathway before halting in front of what could only be a well.
"Is this a joke? How can a well possibly help when battling my greatest enemy?" I sputtered.
"Just you wait my boy. Soon, all will be yours." And she handed me a silver cup of what seemed to be plain water. "Drink it all, don't leave a single drop or it will not be of success."
I gulped it down in one swipe before handing back the cup to the lady.
"Now can I ask, who are you?" I was indeed curious, this lady had been of great help ever since we arrived, but why?
"No need to worry about that. Let's just say someone from your past who gave you your sacred name sent me to guide you through resolving your deepest desires. Just remember your goal, and the power within you will appear. I'd suggest getting some sleep now, you have to leave early tomorrow morning if you want to get there in time." And with that, the lady disappeared from plain sight.
Early dawn arrived and it was time for me and Ragnar to continue the journey to Northumbria.
"I met up with the lady we saw yesterday during the night and she gave me a cup of water, but I have my suspicions that it wasn't just water. I feel different." I shared with Ragnar, and he looked at me before laughing.
"What, she gave you magical powers to destroy the world? My boy, she probably felt bad for you because you look like a sack of potatoes." And I just rolled my eyes at him before continuing to lead us through the woods.
A couple of days later, after passing the thickest bits of forest and galloping through the wilderness we were close to our destination. A sigh of relief was heard when we saw the cliff that separated us and our worst enemies. Revenge was near. Closer than it has ever been. I put on the thick coat that covered my whole head and face as well, before we rode up the hill. There it was. The place we have dreamed of stepping foot in. Immediately we heard horns resonating through the hillsides and chaos unveiled on the streets.
"Well, well, well. Who do we have here?" We heard a man's voice say, and I could only recognize it as Kjartan, and behind him stood a smug Sven, almost like he was waiting for our arrival and like he knew who we were. Since me and Ragnar were both hidden from top to toe, it took us by surprise when we saw that he seemed to recognize us. We slowly began unveiling our identities, and gasps were heard behind Sven, who still didn't react much other than his gaze which darkened significantly.
"I am Uthred, son of Ealdorman and heir of Bebbanburg, and I have come to take back what you stole from us." And I lifted my sword in the air, Ragnar doing the same, signaling that we were here for blood.
"Then a fight shall take place." And Sven and Kjartan both raised their swords into the air, before all hell broke loose. Sven swung his sword directly at me, which I blocked before continuing my advances to try and get his head. That was all I wanted. His head. To deliver it to everyone, to mark who really is the lord here.
Ragnar and Kjartan were fighting intensely, Ragnar overtaking by far and soon a scream of pure terror and pain was heard as Ragnar's sword struck right into the middle of Kjartan's chest. Ragnar proceeded to fight off the soldiers behind a now lifeless Kjartan, lying in his own pile of blood.
Sven was infuriated, his father had been killed brutally by his worst enemy. His gaze returned to me after a quick glance at the scene and there was so much hatred, so much bloodthirst in his eyes. That would however not stop me from achieving my goal. While fighting, memories of Thyra appeared in my head, how Sven had most likely tortured her with his inner desires and forced himself upon her during her time in captivity. My eye twitched in pure aggravation.
"You like controlling people don't you Sven? Always trying to control Thyra. You Bastard. Now you shall watch as I control you!" And suddenly Sven's body flew back with a force powerful enough to destroy the world. Sven was stunned, and so was I. He got up from the floor and proceeded to storm towards me. And suddenly it hit me. It was me. I could control him without even laying a finger on him. So I did. I concentrated and Sven was lifted off the ground, kicking his legs in frustration.
"What in the name of Thor is going on? What is this l am experiencing?" Sven was shaking with fury, humiliation pouring over him as he was not able to fight back. I made him feel weak and pathetic in front of everyone else, because that is what he deserved. And worse.
"As I said, watch as I control you. You no longer have the power. I do. And you are my first victim." And with that he yet again collided with the ground harshly. I stepped over him and placed my foot down on his chest hard, and a big crack was heard. Screams of agony were heard from Sven, which fueled my inner rage more.
"I shall have your head, just like your father's. And you shall pay for your sins in the depths of hell, for there you will end up after making my sister suffer! After making Ragnar suffer. After making me suffer." And then I slit his throat, letting the blood pour before lifting his head towards the enemies, Ragnar doing the same. They retreated, afraid for their lives after witnessing the whole scene.
"Now bring me to Thyra!"
Chapter 3 - Mildrith
The darkness was beginning to ascend as I accidentally stepped on a beautiful white tulip, in the forest. The petals became shredded to pieces and dirty because of the surrounding mud. I looked down on the ruined tulip with regret. I'd had another quarrel with Brida, before I left the house. As I walked back towards the house, it felt as though a heavy weight settled on my shoulders and my stomach turned into a sack of eels. Brida was sitting at the kitchen table and drinking ale, when I entered the house.
"Uhtred and I have history. Whereas he has only known you for a minuscule amount of time" she said in a mocking tone, picking up right where we left off. I could not stop myself from responding, even though I had promised myself to ignore her henceforth.
"Uhtred and I have a child. He is not going to leave his family for you!" I exclaimed.
"You are so naive and idealistic" Brida sneered.
"How do you even sleep at night?" I uttered in a disgusted tone and added, "Given the repulsive fact that you're relentlessly pursuing another woman's husband"
"Well, hopefully with Uhtred on top of me, soon" Brida smirked. My anger reached its boiling point and I pushed her as she was walking out of the front door. She turned on her heel hastily and raised her palm, presumably in order to slap me. But then seemed to think better of it and let her arm fall to her side. I bet she only stopped herself from hitting me, because she knew that Uhtred would not be pleased if he found out that she had been violent towards me. My cheeks grew hot with shame and I internally asked God to forgive me for behaving in such an ungodly manner. I had to remind myself more often that he had brought this savage of a woman into my life in order to test me.
"Not very Christian of you, is it?" Brida jeered and added, "You think you are so pious and that you are somehow impressing Uhtred with your lady-like manners. But the fact is that you are boring him to tears"
"Leave my faith out of this!" I hissed.
"Have you ever thought about the fact that Uhtred has not told me and Ragnar to take off, in spite of your animosity towards me? I'm sure you must have complained about me at great length with that awful, squeaky voice that your God has bestowed on you" Brida said, rolling her eyes. Then she added, spitefully, "Speaking of which, if he loves all of his creation as you put it, why has he given you such a horrible voice?"
My blood ran cold, because as horrible as she was, she made a good point. Why was Uhtred still housing them against my will? He knew how much I hated Brida, by now.
"It is because he doesn't value your opinion. It does not matter to him... and neither do you" Brida stated, shrugging indifferently.
"I do not need Uhtred's permission to make you leave my house. Get out, now!" I roared. But she just crossed her arms over her chest and remained rooted to the spot where she was standing.
I looked down in shame and anger as Brida looked back at me with a scornful face after my outburst.
''Are you finished roaring? Or are you going to sob now too?'' Brida said with laughter in her throat, ''HAHAHAHAH, oh Mildrith… you would be the last person I'm afraid of''
Then Brida leaned in right next to my face, took a sip of her ale and burped into my ear. All of my shame disappeared, and I was left furious.
''I'm leaving now, you are not even worth a pair of crow-feet'' Brida said condescendingly with disgust and started to walk towards the door.
I saw a knife on the kitchen table. I took two steps forward, grabbed the knife, turned, and ran towards Brida without a second thought. I was consumed by all of my rage and I stabbed her in the back and kept going, with each stab I could feel the blade hitting her bones. I got exhausted after a minute. There was blood everywhere and I no longer felt the consumption of rage, it was all gone. What had I done?
There was blood all over the floor and on myself.
''I killed her, I killed her.'' I whispered to myself and started praying ''Oh heavenly father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.'' I continued, ''Please God, forgive me! I know you sent the pagan as a test of my resolution to God. I know thou shalt not kill, but she was a monster!''
The whole kitchen floor had been covered in blood as Brida's lifeless body laid on the hardwood floor. Her eyes were glancing to the side as she was trying to see me under the attack. I felt like I was going to vomit. I was shaking and crying even though I wasn't sad that she was gone. Would I end up in hell now? Was Brida in hell?
''No time to think about this yet'' I cried and whispered to myself.
I needed buckets and water to clean before Uhtred arrived. It took hours to bury the body in the woods and clean the kitchen, especially the floor, but a quilt made of wool helped cover the biggest stain that didn't go away. There was a knock at the door.
"I'm back, are you there Brida? Ragnar is looking for you!'' shouted Uhtred.
''She is not here'' replied Mildrith with a nervous voice crack.
''Can I come in? Or don't I get to greet my wife properly?'' whispered Uhtred through the crack. I opened the door and Uhtred hugged me and it felt as if the world was standing still. The warm feeling from his body and quill made of deer made me forget about Brida's eyes that were looking back at me when I shut my eyes. It had been hours since I cleaned and buried the body, yet it felt like a minute ago.
''Why are you dirty?'' Uhtred asked and continued, "You have some mud on your face and shoes'' Uthred pointed at my cheek and feet. I had never felt this nervous before. Had I made more mistakes that he was going to find? I must be smart and sly like a fox or maybe it is god's work to punish me for my unholy doing?
''I went out before to gather mushrooms for a big stew tomorrow.'' I answered. As I did, I saw the bloody knife laying under the stone kitchen table.
''Alright, it must be a lot of mushrooms. Are we expecting company?'' Uhtred asked, looking bothered. He hadn't seen the knife. I had to hide it quickly before he saw it.
''No, no. I just found it so peaceful and felt connected to God as I kept searching in the forest. Come here, you must be tired. Let's go to sleep'' I said rapidly and took Uhtred's hand.
''Wait, I'm famished and you start talking about food. I need some ale too!'' Uhtred stopped and stared.
"Of Course, forgive me, I will fetch bread and ale for you my lord" I responded as sweat ran down my face.
''Hey! I've told you before! Uhtred is my name! Stop calling me lord!'' he said angrily.
I went to the food supply looking for bread. My whole body was shaking. He was still in the room with the blood under the carpet and bloody knife under the stone table. I had to hurry. As I opened the kitchen door I saw Uhtred hunking down by the quilt on the floor, covering the blood splatters that didn't go away.
''What are you doing?'' I screamed unintentionally.
''Why have you put down such an ugly thing on the floor? I don't like it.'' Uhtred said as he was reaching for the quilt in order to remove it.
''Wait!'' I screamed at the top of my lungs.
Uhtred got startled and fell on his bottom. He looked at me and turned around to get up on his feet as he laid eyes on the bloody knife underneath the kitchen table. I was dead silent as he went under the table and took the knife up and then stared at me. Uhtred walked towards me as I was standing on the quilt and pushed me away to remove it. Uhtred laid his hand over his mouth and stared at me for what felt like an eternity.
His eyes filled with rage and he shouted, "Where is Brida! Do you think I'm dumb!? What have you done!'' Tears started streaming down my face. I tried to wipe them away, but they just kept coming. I could not answer him as I did not know what to say.
''Did you kill her?'' he asked calmly. I didn't answer. ''Did you kill her!?'' this time he shouted.
My body jumped up when he screamed. Uhtred came closer and laid his hands on my shoulders with his face in front of mine and uttered, "What is stopping me from going to the counsel and telling them what you have done?"
Suddenly I came to my senses and exclaimed, ''No, Uhtred! Please, I got so angry! She had no respect for me!'' I cried out.
''So you did kill her'' Uhtred whispered to himself and continued, "You are not to speak of this to anyone''
''Yes, yes of course, Uhtred. Thank you!''
He really loved me and wanted to protect me. I was wrong for thinking that he would expose me. Uhtred put his palm up, signaling for me to stop. "I'm not finished. From now on you do not speak to me, only I speak to you. I do not love you, I do not care for you. The only reason why I'm not picking up that knife and stabbing you in the chest with it, is because of our son. Now fetch the bucket and start cleaning properly this time. And wash the knife, you stupid excuse of a woman!'' Uhtred said with a disgusted and disapproving look. I went silent, fetched the bucket and did everything he told me to do. I was dead to Uhtred and the pain was unbearable.
