Wow…A whole new adventuring party to fuck around with. With really muscular dudes, and resources from what basically amounts to a council of archmages and demi-gods…
My face brightened, and I took a deep breath… I can see the soft-almost-smile on Batman's face...
"Don't need it, don't want it, go fuck yourself."
M-M'lord!?
Oh wow, I actually got Batman's jaw to drop!
"Hahahaha, you should see the look on your face, oh my god! Oh, oh, I think I'm crying…Haaaa, yeah, thanks but no thanks."
Batman clears his throat, obviously not expecting my response. Then again, nobody back home ever really did either.
"May I ask why?"
"Well, for one I just handed the asses of my potential teammates to them on a silver platter and humiliated them in front of you. Which is quite honestly, a very bad introduction if you planned this out.
Second, the teammates themselves. They're used to being second-fiddle in a duo, aren't they? Or at least, not ready to work together as a team on the battlefield. Your protege and Kid Flash seem to have dragged Aqualad along for the ride on this little quest of theirs, and Superman Jr. came along because he has anger issues and needs to punch something. I get that they're still learning the ropes and everything, but I'm not really interested in riding out the growing pains of a group that isn't ready for what a new person would do to the team dynamics.
And third…"
I poke a finger right into Batman's chest.
"...I'd be taking orders from you, wouldn't I? Or the Justice League, since you seem to be throwing some kind of Junior League together. I wouldn't have as much freedom as I do now, I'd have to go to school, and quite frankly, you wouldn't approve of some of my methods."
Batman tilts his head. "What kind of methods."
--
"I've killed people."
My stomach drops.
He says it calmly, plainly, and without remorse. As though it's a simple fact of his life like what color his hair is or what time he wakes up at.
"I've killed people, Batman, and I know that there's a certain stigma against superheroes killing. When will it stop, who will stop them, who will be the next heroes if they fall to evil…Something along those lines, right?"
It's almost frightening, how similar Adam's line of thought was to my own when I made those contingency plans…
He tried to speak up. "I'm certain that the Justice League would consider you on a probitio-"
"No. Probationary basis are for people who did something wrong, who want to do something despite their wrongs. Batman, I'm not a murderer, but I've willingly killed thieves, rapists, conmen, and monsters that take the form of men. I don't feel bad about it, since quite a bit of it was in self-defence or the defence of others. But I'm not going to limit my lethality just because killing is too far outside the moral scope of your morals and reputation."
I'm sorry, Adam White. Sorry you had to go through all that. Sorry I couldn't have found you sooner…
"I see." What more could I say? It was true, the Justice League would never allow the Team to hold someone willing and able to kill. Maybe in a few years, I can reach out to him with an opportunity with the Justice League itself. I'll be able to keep tabs on him till then at least.
There's a breath of silence between the two of them for a moment, as Adam grabs a duffle bag along with his backpack. He's packing up.
"Besides, I'd look terrible in spandex."
"You're leaving."
I've scared him off. Clark would've been a better choice for this, wouldn't he? No, with how he's been acting with Superboy, Diana would've been best.
"Yeah. Don't worry, I'm not leaving Gotham just yet. But with all this colorful activity coming my way, it's probably better for me to find a new place."
That's good. Smart even. I can track him down again if he's still in Gotham…
"What about your garden?"
Adam shrugs. "I'll make a new one."
--
As it turns out, most of the abandoned and condemned buildings in Gotham are already filled with gang thugs and other homeless people, and I'd just gotten lucky as shit with my first hidey-hole.
The good news is, I'm used to sleeping in the wilderness, forest and otherwise, so climbing up into a tree to camp wasn't exactly something new. As long as I made sure I cleaned up after myself and left the park by six, nobody important was around to bother me from getting a night's sleep other than the owls.
M'lord, perhaps we should reconsider Batman's offer? Forgive me for my insolence, but it's not right for m'lord to not be within a home!
I smile softly, before splashing more running water against my face. Don't worry about it, Herb, we'll find a place to get comfortable in yet.
...perhaps M'lord should look into buying a home? Surely we have enough coin for a few weeks…
Huh. I honestly hadn't considered buying a place to sleep in, since the Emerald Lions always either camped out or slept in the rooms provided by the Adventurers Guild. But considering my options... huh. I actually don't have a reason not to.
That's a great idea, Herb.
R-Really!? Thank you, m'lord, this servant is not worthy!
Heh, my familiar is so cute, bowing to me while he's invisible…
--
Getting an apartment in Gotham was about as easy as it was back in Atela, if I had to guess. And with the extra papertrail in this world, that meant it was all below board. A few extra hundred slipped to the landlord, and I didn't even have to provide my non-existent license. And it was in a nicer part of town too, hasn't been a murder on the block in the past couple years.
So long as the cops don't come knocking with a warrant of arrest, and you didn't piss off your neighbors anything goes as far as I can tell.
Batman would also occasionally drop into the area every month or so-ish, so if he decided to show up, it shouldn't draw too much abnormal attention to the area.
After two hours of keeping it up, I slipped out of the glamore I'd selected, a forty-six year old man that was basically an aged up version of me with some subtle changes to get a distinct impression of a familial connection without being outright identical.
The cover story I'd gone with is a father-son combo going through a brutal divorce. Dad worked late hours, son went to school across town.
Best to keep it vague for now, turn down questions that went in too deep.
I was planning on traveling this world eventually after all. Just because I was renting didn't mean I was looking to be remembered by the neighbors.
It's a bit of a shame I had to dump my food stash to fit all my clothes, but the ice cupboard (yet another odd mundane standard of this world), would keep food fresher and cold, which more than made up for it.
Just as I was finishing putting my clothes and trinkets around the two-bedroom apartment, there was a knock at the door.
Herb, can you go see who it is through the peephole?
Right away, m'lord! ...It seems to be a woman with black hair?
The knocking came back, a bit more forceful this time.
"Coming!" I call out. Herb, see if you can see into her heart when I open the door.
Yes, my lord!
I open the door a bit, only enough to reveal my torso, allowing me to easily close the door if needed. You know, if the woman hadn't slipped her boot into the edge of the doorway to keep me from closing it.
She did have short black hair. She was also wearing a leather jacket that was showing more cleavage than it was probably meant to, along with the leather pants she's wearing.
"Hey, I'm Selina. Saw your dad moving in as I was getting off of work, thought I would say hello."
From the way her cleavage is showing, I'd have taken her for a prostitute.
Hush, Herb. Don't disrespect the prostitutes, they're always smarter than they let on.
She did have short black hair. She was also wearing a leather jacket that was showing more cleavage than it was probably meant to, along with the leather pants she's wearing.
"I see. I didn't miss your father did I?" She asked with a sparkling glint in her eyes, not unlike a greedy raven.
M'lord, she's playful and curious at the moment, though I was unable to catch a glimpse at her true nature..
Ahh, so that's it. She's here to try her luck with 'Adrien White'.
"Oh, I guess? Dad's been up for a while getting everything set up right after his night job, so he's out cold."
She hums in understanding. "Gotham drains the life outta everyone, believe you me I get it."
I relax myself ever so slightly, giving off the illusion of a kid letting his guard down against a kind, pretty woman who's just a tad too old for him. "Yeah, we don't really get to see each other a lot because of all the overtime he's doing, but I love him to death."
And it looks like she bought it.
"Say, if you're dad's out cold, do you have anyone to grab you dinner? I have some lasagna we can heat up, if you're interested."
Who am I to say no to a free meal from the totally-not-a-prostitute?
"I think that sounds awesome. Just let me put away a few things, and I'll come right over."
"Great! I'm in room 3C just over there." She points down on the other side of the hallway two doors down.
--
"Wow, you have a lot of cats." There's probably like six of them lounging around the nice apartment.
Herb, keep an eye on the apartment. It's dangerous for you here.
I-Indeed m'lord. The little blonde sprite flutters off.
Selina laughs. "Yeah, most of them come and go, but a few seem to have adopted me. The fur's a chore to clean up, but I don't mind."
I reach down, and pick one of them up, scratching the back of its ears. It seems to be acceptable if the purring was anything to go by.
This was a good day.
--
"I've got a friend who does gardening." Selina says. "I got stuck with a bit of a black thumb unfortunately."
"That's because your cats piss in your flowerpots when you're not looking."
"Lies and baseless accusations!"
I chuckle at her antics. The sensual cat lady had invited herself over to my apartment for the night, for the third time this week, and apparently my apartment had come with a larger television, so she was watching the football game on it while I tended to my growing garden.
Herbs, a few flowers, incense spices, teas… they were all scattered around the apartment, in a bunch of different potted plants. I had a system for it, of course. Teas in the kitchen, spices by the window, incense in the corner by the television, herbs in a tray on the odd metal terrace that was accessible through a different window, etc.
I just couldn't find the space to grow vegetables, so I spent most of the day pickpocketing cash for groceries and to add to my growing nest egg hidden in the empty and thoroughly rinsed out bottle of bleach under the kitchen sink.
Though, it's not like I'm exactly being frugal with it. I had to spend a bit of it for personal knick-knacks and books for the apartment, just so Selina didn't get suspicious. I even read them too, when I didn't feel like going out to steal shit.
Perk of not being in an adventuring party I guess.
"Hey, Adam?"
"Yeah?"
"Where does your dad work again? I don't think I ever asked."
I shrug my shoulders. "I dunno the exact company, but he says it's some accounting job downtown. Why do you ask?"
"I don't know… He just always seems so slippery, I only see him in the mornings after you leave for school. And I think the bags under his eyes are getting worse."
"Shit, really? I haven't noticed anything…"
Selina's gotten close enough that I'm starting to feel a little bad for worrying her about my 'father's' health, and I'm not really sure how to feel about that. Most of the people I've tricked like this were for short periods of time, and were usually disgusting enough to deserve it once you looked a little further past their outer skin.
But not Selina Kyle, no, she seemed intent on inserting herself into my life as the cool sexy neighbor that brought pizza over when it was too furry in her place to eat without coughing up hairballs.
And with how long she takes to wake up, and the fact that she's always in during the day, I'm positive she's a woman of the night.
Orshe has the very cushy job of being some guy's mistress...
Not that I was judging her either way. Only morons took the ladies of the night for the bimbos they portrayed themselves to be while getting their fortunes slowly milked away.
And if she is a mistress to some big shot downtown…
Well all the power to her, I guess. Not like I haven't seen unfulfilling political marriages before...
--
I stumbled my way through the church, careful not too attract much attention.
The small feeble grandmother I was pretending to be was a good deal shorter than my actual height, but if I scrunch my back just right, I can make it look convincing enough. This was just going to be a quick pickup for holy water after all…
Still it is so creepy not seeing Freya, Thor, or Odin and his ravens in any of the artistic glasswork lining the central chamber of the church. And the withered man spread out over the cross that they held in such high esteem certainly wasn't helping. But holy water was holy water, and if I ever needed to banish a summoned demon it's better to have it on hand than not.
--
"Uuugh, what the fuck kind of thief specializes in stealing in the middle of the day…" Selina Kyle moaned as she stalked one of the usual hangouts of this 'Paws' pickpocket.
It wasn't everyday that a thief made a name for themselves that reached the public sphere, and Selina was starting to think Paws might actually be as good as the people at Gotham Academy are claiming him to be. To sneak onto the most secure campus in all of Gotham, and steal the wallets of half of the students there...
And Selena had gotten her paws on the security footage of that day too. Not a single fucking thing to even hint that a heist was happening until the bell for lunch rang when students started to realize they were missing their wallets.
He'd studied that place hard and he'd studied it well. The only way Selina could even conceive of pulling something like this… was posing as a student and pickpocketing them in the blindspots on campus, something that she herself couldn't do because of her height and age.
Honestly, it would've been the heist of the fucking decade if he'd taken all of their credit cards and social security numbers.
But what does he do?
He takes cash only, dumping everything else at the front of the school in a pile. Which means one of two things. Either he doesn't have the resources and expertise in electronic and identity theft needed to process them…
Or he wanted this. The name, the fame, the attention all on him. By definition, it was a stupid. Something that only she'd resorted to because of her specialty in breaking security systems and doing it in style.
But for someone like Paws, who specialized in pickpocketing, it doesn't make any sense. His name was becoming an urban legend, similar to how Bruce's was before he'd gotten Dick as a tag-along and founded the Justice League, pulling him into the light. People knew that there was a master pickpocket in Gotham, which meant they were carrying less cash, checking their pockets more often, being more aware of their surroundings.
Well, the smart Gothamites would anyway. There were plenty of trust fund morons downtown who were stupid enough to still carry cash for strip clubs, illicit deals, booze, and all sorts of shit. And wealthy enough that a few thousand in cash wouldn't even cause them to blink.
But still, a stupid thing to do if it meant less targets.
So, he made this little myth, allowed the people of Gotham to get the faintest of glimpses at Gotham Academy.
But to what end?
Did he want to be hired? Was he an attention whore? Adrenaline junkie? Did he think he was the next Catwoman, like so many were saying?
Selina huffed, eyes scanning the crowd from her vantage point on top of a set of stairs to the Gotham Museum of Antiquities, off to the side so she was out of the way and less noticeable.
Where is the little fucker…
She clicked her tongue, glancing at her phone. She's been staking the spot for nearly three hours now and nothing.
"Don't tell me he fucking takes weekends off…"
--
"Selina? You up yet?" I asked, knocking on my pseudo-aunt-sister's apartment.
It's already one in the afternoon…
Maybe she went at it a bit too hard last night?
